Walk out and trust your strength. It gets worse while you still have your dignity God will carry you… This world is falling apart we have to pray cause every 2nd man or women has an affair online
The only encouragement I can give to you is to leave that lazy send him out I hate rubbish
You CAN and you WILL make it alone! Your a strong independent woman. Plus who’s to say you will be alone for long 
xxx
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Hun as a survivor of physical and mental abuse get out now. It only gets worse. If you’re the one working and he’s sahd then you don’t have to rely on him Please get out before he kills you or teaches your children that it’s ok to treat ppl like that
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Don Hyde I have tagged the perfect person to talk about this subject! This is a passion of his in helping people in these situations. So He is also our chief of Police. He is amazing and will do all he can on what you need to do. So when he posts make sure you read it!!!
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When he hits you again, call the cops and get a restraining order. Quickest way he gets out. Do it for you and the kids. Don’t let them think this is okay. Remember I’m not judging you but trying to help with a solution
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- You have children so you are not alone.
- He’s already moved on, so you are pretty much the only one trying to hold onto what little is left of your marriage.
- Move on and get counseling. You don’t realize how happy you could be if you just let go. I’m not gonna lie, it will be hard at first but each day it will get easier. Then one day you will look back and realize that leaving was the best thing.
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You are not alone you have children
Why does staying in an abusive situation appeal to people more than being “alone”? Bc it’s what they’re used to… time to break cycles and model for your children so they don’t follow in those footsteps
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If you work and he stays at home I’d say you already have proved you can make it alone…and you’ll have one less mouth to feed. Get out asap start making your plan to get away…it’s scary sure but what’s even scarier is physically hurting you and/or your children. Be happy life is too short!
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Of course you CAN!!! You are the one that goes out and works! Wtf is a man (I’m guessing in his 40’s) sitting at home unless he is terminally I’ll or you have children under the age of 5?!?! Grab your kids and get out NOW! The abuse is just going to get worse and your kids will be affected for the rest of their lives. Here is the number to a 24 hour hotline
hugs I’m not saying what you should do, but I was in a similar situation (except not together 20 years), and it was terrifying. I wasn’t allowed to have a car, work, have money, have friends, or anything.
I chose to leave, even though I had no back-up or plan. I just knew I had to get out to save my life.
I hope you find your way. It sounds like you’re providing for the home financially, so that’s a huge boost in feeling more confident in leaving.
You’re worth being happy and feeling safe.
You are not responsible for his actions only your own. He is being physical even if only slightly now he will get worse and on top of that he doesn’t work and sits at home cheating on you. Time to say good bye. Your already doing it all on your own. Good luck
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Its scary “ being alone” but just because your still married doesn’t mean you aren’t alone. He’s already gone and while he’s at home entertaining other woman, you’re out there busting your butt to provide for him and the kids. It will only get worse with his abuse.
I’d get a therapist
Reach out to a domestic abuse advocate
Call the police next time he gets physical- he’ll likely be arrested on the spot so call a neighbor, family, friend, someone you trust to come get the children.
Build up your support team
Sounds like ur already doing it on ur own. Its time to make u and ur kids happy.
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You are never alone. Jesus is right there with you through all of this. Find your strength in Him and Him alone! Pray for your husband every time. It won’t be easy, but you will find peace in your prayers. Allow God to change his heart.
Pray for strength, wisdom and peace and you will find it. Jesus is the answer!!!
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Yes u can make it alone!! And u will b much happier.
He is a disease. You will feel better once you’re free of him. Do it for your children, they will model your relationship when they grow up, you don’t want them modeling this one. Show them you all deserve better. You can absolutely do this! 
I’m thinking of you today! I just left my fiancé and father of my children after 7 years. I was the SAHM and everything was in his name, he left me with nothing, but I’m doing it for the kids. If I can do it, so can you! You got this momma!
Do you really wanna do another 20yrs ??
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Your children should always come 1st. Bc you have children you are never alone. Once things like that happen it only gets worse. Leave while you still can, lots of women are in your position but the work roles are reversed so they have complete control over the women…count your blessings. & once you leave, do not go back when he apologizes… Get you & your kids DV help including counseling.
I left after 21 years of marriage. Yes it was scary but now I look back and say why did you wait so long.
You got this go be happy and your children will be happy. Mine ask me why I waited so long good luck
It sounds like alot on your own but is better for you without him. I raised 2 myself for same reasons. Was hard at 1st but everything gets habitual/smoother in time. At least for me it did. Being in better place emotionally is worth it trust me
First of all you’ve given him all that time to stay home and explore with everything ,he should be providing for his family .Got to get up go to work like all men usually do. not you Shame on him. .And if his being abusive leave his ass.Children learn to adapt.You don’t want to show them what his doing is okay.
Sudden changes in behaviour after 20 years needs investigation.
Abuse is never acceptable. Next time he hits you phone the police and charge him but if he can have a reasonable discussion about his behaviour ask him to attend the Dr with you
Your dont say how old your children are but im assuming they’re adults so ask them for help
You already have a job so what makes you think you cant manage on your own ? Of course you can .
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It took me two almost two years to get out of a 20 year abusive relationship, I was left with my clothes and nothing else I was even homeless. I have lost alot due to that man. You are so much better off without him, and please don’t think of it as being alone, because right now you are alone. I have been out since January, I am in a healthy (thank god) relationship, I am starting to rebuild my life, and I finally have peace, something I haven’t had in awhile! Trust me you will not regret leaving!
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You are already making it alone hes not working and you are handling it. Change sucks however you need to build yourself up because the only thing you won’t have are the problems from him.
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You’re stuck in the mindset that you can’t make it alone therefore you look for all the reasons why you wouldn’t be able to. You need to start saying and believing you can make it alone then you will start seeing how you can. Opportunities will come to light.
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You work….He stays at home?
He should be the one worried about dining it on his own.
Please get out before it damages your kids.
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You already ARE making it alone. Get this guy out of your house and your life and after you mourn the loss of the dream you had that this guy would be what he promised you will experience peace and contentment you will cherish.
if you are worried that you can’t make it alone, just what are you going to do, when the kids are all grown up & out of the house, & he either dies or leaves??? Put your big girl panties on. You are a woman & you can do & be anything you want, You are working, not him, that shows you are a strong woman. Get a lawyer & start hiding your money & leave him
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What u allow will continue 
Takes a weak man to abuse a women who supports him.
Run leave 20 Years or 2 years don’t Matter you’re better than that
I had to start again at 30, after an abusive marriage of 12 years with 3 kids. Had to leave my job and do it all with nothing. It was hard in the beginning, but you can definitely do it. Surround yourself with help and support, be it family, friends, or agencies, or a combination of all of them, and you will get through it. I promise 
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You are basically on your own now if you work. You need to seek out childcare arrangements and boot his ass out!!!
You work. He stays home. You don’t realize it but you’re already making it. Talk to a divorce attorney and start making your way out of there. You can do it. Good luck.
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Your doing it by yourself now. You don’t deserve to be abused in any kind of way, NO BODY does. Sometimes we have to walk away so we don’t bleed that toxic environment to our children. Surround your self with the help and support of family and friend’s. He’s already cheating on you by sending other women pictures it doesn’t alway have to be sexual to be cheated on.
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If he stays at home you’re doing it on your own basically anyways
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You are stronger then you know. Leave if not for yourself for your children
Have faith. Leave or you’ll never be happy. Best of luck to you. Remember cheaters always cheat.
You file police reports, document any bruising /cuts, talk with a domestic shelter, etc. You need to file for a restraining order, divorce a child support all at the same time. Just bc he’s not working now doesn’t mean he still doesn’t owe the children support. You know how you’re gonna make it…. By being safe and not being hit or living fear, by showing the kids being an abuser isn’t tolerated, that you love yourself and then enough to get out.
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You can make it alone! I am in the same situation, newly divorced. Its lonely, I miss him, but I know it was for the best. If you need to talk a lot of us here have been through it
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Leave it wont get better
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Nobody likes getting out of their comfort zone, but let me tell you the damage it does to your kids 
he’s gone honey , it’s your turn now to leave!!
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You are already at an advantage since you are the one making the income. You have to decide how long you will stay. No one here can tell you that but all we can do is offer advice. You decide what you will tolerate and what you will do about it. There isn’t really an easier solution but you are in. Good place financially in comparison to your spouse.
The first step is the scariest.
The fear of… oh so many things… on top of the unadulterated pain and betrayal u are already feeling…
My heart to u my friend…
I do comprehend… it’s scare as hell… the what if s and maybes.
I hate the word deserve used in this way… we deserve what we allow or accept… have u EARNED to be treated with respect acceptance and dignity…
Then don’t accept less…
Would u from ur place of work? No… because the emotional attachments are not as strong to your work place as to your spouse…
But personally feelings put aside… would you tolerate this from anyone else?
Not sure of kids ages, but consider what allowing yourself to be treated as such teaches them…
I thought if stay I will teach them when you love someone you make it work even at the cost of yourself… but I was wrong…
Having left and on the other side of the hurt and betrayal 
. Leaving was the best thing I could do for my kids and to show them that yes I am scared… but here we go…
You are enough… you are stronger and more capable then even u realize…
Please do not set your children up to think accepting any form of abuse= is normal or equals love.
You can and you will be so much happier
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Sounds like you have been making it alone for 20 years, he is a babysitter… you can hire one of those.
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Get those children out of there! Many many women have to start over, and you can do it too! Do you want your children to think his behavior is normal? Do you want to risk their safety? If he is being abusive to you, there is no guarantee he won’t be towards them.
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Sometimes our fear keeps us suffering. Figure something out and go
Hey, sure it’s starting over but it’s not from scratch, you have experience now.
It can feel daunting at first, but believe me when I tell you that leaving could be the best choice you’ve made.
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Honey, I have been where you are 2x. Starting over is scary. This is what I did 2x. Take it one step, one day at a time. 1. Get a notebook that is small enough to fit in your purse. 2. Get a plan and write it in your notebook. it doesn’t have to be in order, just write things that you will need, how you want your life after you leave, how you feel you deserve to be treated. Once you have an idea and a plan. 3. Organize your plan and get yourself a new phone and number and a new bank account. 4. Document everything in your notebook and take pictures if he lays hands on you. Every ugly word and date and time stamp it. 5. If he lays hands on you call the police and have him arrested. 6. File a protection and no contact order immediately and after calling the police, follow through with it to make it a permanent order. In the order include your children, so he cannot use them as a pawn to be close to you. While he is incarcerated have the locks changed, take his phone and screen shot everything he has been doing on the internet, and box up all of his things and have someone from his family pick them up. If they don’t, notify him in writing that he has 3 days to pick up his belonging or they will be donated to goodwill. 7. Since you are the bread winner he may try to play the victim, this is why you document everything. Also notify your employer of what is going on and what you are doing to protect yourself and your children because he may try to mess with your job. 8. Contact a divorce attorney and file for a divorce and include the protection order in it and go for sole custody with supervised visitation with a CPS victims advocate because of his tendency to be violent and abusive. 9. No matter what he does or says DO NOT GO BACK…HE WILL NOT CHANGE…HE WILL ONLY GET WORSE IF YOU TAKE HIM BACK. 9. Depending on the ages of your children, sit with them and let them know what is going on and why. They will be scared and angry, and if you include them they will feel impowered and the transition will not be as severe for them. 10. Let your friends and family know what is going on. They will be a good support system for you while this transition is taking place. Be prepared to see the true colors of some people in your life and be prepared to cut them out if you need to and don’t feel bad about it. 11. Make sure you have the police present when if he pics up his belongings, and report to the police EVERYTIME HE VIOLATES THAT ORDER, AND HE WILL VIOLATE THAT ORDER PROBABLY MANY TIMES. 12. Live your new life. If you need help coping, don’t be shy about seeking mental health. 20 years is a long time and this will be like a death, you will go through a grieving process. AGAIN, take it ONE DAY, ONE MINUTE, ONE SECOND AT A TIME… YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU BELIEVE AND YOUR KIDS ARE GONNA NEED YOU AND YOU ARE GONNA NEED THEM. But you will get through this storm and on the other end will be happiness and strength and self respect and self love… I hope this helps, and if you need someone to talk to I am here. DM me. Sending Love and Strength Sis…
Pack his stuff and say hit the road!
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Are your children underage? If so- KICK HIM OUT! You’re the one with income you’re the one who can provide for your children… get him removed from the home.
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I left a relationship like that shortly after I had my daughter, it was hard, but soooo worth it. Keep your head up for you and those babies❤
Sound like he’s dead weight anyway
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You can do it.
You already work, raise children and take care of a household, right?
Please don’t let this continue to escalate. Don’t wait until the abuse kills you—your children need you. 
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U can do it, celebrate the challenges, 1 step at a time, first find accommodation. Before u leave. Or buy a self contained bus or van.
You shouldn’t leave kick his ass out
Make him leave! You support you all.
You work he doesn’t? Get rid of him you will be fine! Your already doing it mama!
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You can do it…I did and was so scared but God was with me and prayers answered…found a good man to walk through my life with now …
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So your working and he’s at home and your afraid to start over baby girl you’ve been taking care of yourself all the time, you can still do it with him gone.
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Your already doing it alone girl. Just take a deep breath and follow through. If its your house tell him to pack his things and leave, then change the locks. If its his house then find the closest family member and take the kids and go… since he is abusive have someone there while your gathering things. People who are abusive don’t really like to do that with people watching.
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Change is hard but you and your children deserve to feel safe in your home. Seek a domestic violence support group, call law enforcement to document the abuse, take photos of marks left by him… you got this. It may not be easy but it will be worth it in the end 
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Starting over is scary, but you shouldn’t stay with someone emotionally abusive. It will get worse.
Think of your children. If he can hit out and you. Your children are not safe with him.
You work and support yourself anyway.
You can do this.
Get police involved they will remove him for you. Good luck 
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You’re already doing it !!! Stay strong mama
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If you do not leave. He will kill you. However first, beating you won’t be enough and he will move on to the kids. Get out before that happens. Just take the dirty laundry that belongs to you and those kids. Fuck everything else it can be replaced. If you take the dirty laundry you can wash it and not have to worry about trying to pack anything else because chances are, all the articles of clothes you need will be in there and have been worn/are loved so you don’t have to worry about digging through clothes to find what fits.
You already making it alone! He is just making your life harder.
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Yes it is scary as hell to start over but what is even scarier is staying with the abuser especially when children are involved as they are seeing it and hearing it so they in return are learning to treat others that way and in their eyes its ok to be that way look at this way in really it will be your husband’s loss because without you there to SUPPORT HIM WITH YOUR HARD EARNED CASH where does this fool think he is going to get his MONEY from he has had it easy not having to work staying home sitting on his lazy ass on the computer flirting with other women whos to say that he hasn’t invited one these women over while you are at work he isn’t no man that is for sure he’s just a boy stuck in a man’s body chalk it up as a loss and look at it this way that your saving yourself from the destruction that abuse does to a woman mentally and emotionally the physical will heal but the shit in your head stays with you a lifetime I know this because it took me 13 years to leave and divorce my abuser and still struggle with the mental abuse if your gut instinct tells you to leave follow it because it’s never wrong prayers for you and your children
I knew my kids deserved a better life… I promised my oldest daughter I would never ever put them in that spot.
And after that promise I knew I could never look back. So I held on to that promise.
You already are doing it alone
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He needs to GO to jail… abuse is against the law
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sister you can, and you won’t be caring for a grown ass man to boot!!!
Here is a DV support group where you can find help from other women who have been in the situation. We also have lots of resources for you and explain how to recognize a toxic relationship.
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If he is staying at home and you are working, you already know how to survive on your own… The fact that you say you know that you deserve better alone says that you deserve better… Run baby girl run!!!
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Kick his ass out. He doesn’t deserve you.
Let him find someone else to support him while there at work. He won’t find anyone if he does he won’t live there long… Then he will come back to you saying I love you I’m sorry I’m made a mistake, this is where you got to be strong and tell him no… You will be so much happier don’t be scared to be alone he didn’t bring anything to the table for you
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Your the bread winner and he stays at home and cheats on you. Girl. Leave his ass.
You can do it alone. It is just the fear factor. I did it and and am happier then I have ever been. Just do not be afraid, Men think you need them but you do not. Go for it all the way.
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You already know that the situation is toxic, so please think about what kind of example are you showing your children. It time to put on your big girl drawers and step cause you are doing it on your own. One of ya’ll has got to go ,preferably him since you have children. That no kind of life for kids. YOU DESERVE BETTER
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Leave. If not for yourself but for your kids.
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Starting over is scary but I recently did it 2 months ago and my kids life and mine along with their father’s has improved greatly
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You work he is at home. You have an Advantage most women do not have.
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Sounds like you are already making it alone.
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Leave, you and your kids deserve better. Pray about it and trust in the Lord.
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I am SO sorry …
Chances are he is cheating … honest. I’ve been there. They cannot handle their guilt so they take it out on you.
Be the sweetheart he courted - dress nice over sweats and no make-up, etc.,
Find a good lawyer … be sure you file with your States’ Child Support Enforcement Bureau - now. You can get support before a divorce is final.
You are living a nightmare I have lived through … and I’m sorry; it is nothing more than a very real nightmare.
You work and HE STAYS at home??? Mistake # 1
friend me if you’d like to message me further -
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How about calling the cops next time he hits you and then getting a restraining order. Change the locks too.
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Check your state laws and see a lawyer. Since you work, you could be responsible for spousal support for him even if he doesn’t get joint custody of the kids. BTW, he is miserable with himself which is why he treats you like poop.1
If you’re the one working what’s your concern being on your own? You’re already the provider
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Think about it… you already work. pay bills, groceries, utilities etc on your own… if he leaves. whats the difference… what does he contribute that will make things harder… your already strong enough to do this. you just havent realized it yet.
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You CAN make it alone because you are not alone! Your babies look up to you and will admire your strength. Love yourself more. Don’t put the children through crappy and scary situations. Leave. There are so many ways and resources out there to help you
you are already doing it alone it just hasn’t sunk in yet
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I guess I don’t understand why you need him. When there is physical abuse you need to get out NOW!
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Make a video using his phone of him packing his shit to go live with the other women…lol
Saying he’s all yours ladies
No don’t leave your Home,put his sorry Ass out.
If you work and he stays home, why couldn’t you make it???
You are basically alone now. You said he not working so that money is yours. If he is handling the finances start putting money aside so you can have some when you leave or get your check put into another account that he does not have access to. Be strong. I did. And I decided to hit back. Don’t show weakness and dependence.
You are teaching your to put up with this behavior kick him out
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You are already alone. You need to leave
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