You wouldn’t be starting over. You would be starting. You would be starting a life without that added stress. One where you don’t have to hurt any more. A start for your kids to not feel the stress and tension. It’s not starting over because you have the basics, your kids and your job and the knowledge to know where you are isn’t the best spot
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You’re working, chances are you’re already paying all of the bills and taking care of the kids as it is. One less mouth to feed! Kick him out and get a restraining order asap.
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Honey if you’re working and he’s not you’re already making it alone. And from experience if he’s sending videos it’s gone further and his guilt is what’s driving him to be mean to you. GET OUT while you can. Hell screw that make him leave. And anyone who says you should stay and try to make it work haven’t got a clue. Get him away from you and your children. You are worth more than that.
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There are SO many paths in life. Just because you’ve been on this one for 20 years does NOT mean that you aren’t capable of starting anew. It’s is definitely scary, but worth the peace of mind. After 20 years you should be treated like a goddess, not last weeks fashion trend. You are a deity in your own right so cherish yourself and your babies. No man should do that to a woman and him not even communicate why. Maybe he has something y’all should talk about with one another. If clear communication doesn’t work I’d say start drawing up the pros and cons.
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Get a restraining order and kick him out
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There are resources all around you that will give you and your children a place to stay, most offer childcare as well and help you get on your feet. You don’t have to leave today, but I would definitely start making a plan today on how to leave and make it fast. Alot of women die in domestic abuse cases, or get seriously hurt and I don’t want that for you or your children … please be safe and be smart. You know this isn’t normal and it is abuse. You can prolong it as long as you want but it won’t hurt any less the more you wait.
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You work and he stays home??? Kick him out ya house sis. Especially if he got time to cheat.
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Get a lawyer and kick his ass out you are already providing for your entire family so one less mouth to feed would be beneficial!
You already making it alone!! And you carry him!! One less mouth to feed,
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I did it alone for 9 years. You got this! It is honesty a freedom you will (most likely) grow to love 
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You can do it! Leave! It’s likely gone further than videos, they never stop there. Make him leave. You are already financially able to care for you and the children, so there isn’t anything to really worry about. Don’t stay with someone just because you have history, all history is not good history. Move on and be happy.
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Please get the courage to change your life. You deserve to be treated and so do your children. Praying for you.
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You’ll make it by taking it one day at a time!
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You already have your own income so you are already ahead of most women in your situation. You can make it. Kick his ass out.
You are alone…and being abused.
If you are paying bill anyway, kick his ass out, you can downsize and do better without him! I was in that position, kids and I were not only happier, but had a lot more spending money…no one was smoking or drinking up the money.! May God bless you, what ever your decision. 
You’re already doing it alone. What does he contribute?
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You are WOMAN! We are capable of doing amazing things. YOU CAN DO IT, ALONE. I promise. Long as you have your babies, you’re not alone.
Get away from him. Throw his ass out! The more you put up with, the more them babies see, THE MORE DAMAGE IT’S DOING! I know it’s easier said than done. But darlin, you gotta think about them babies first.
Please get over the fear of being alone before something happens that you nor them babies can come back from.
Wish you peace, love, happiness, and healing. Good luck to you and your babies 
You are never alone. You have God, who never fails. Put your trust in Him and Him alone.
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Honey you can do it
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You got this! Get out of it and you’ll love life. Unless he gets serious help he won’t change. To just snap all of a sudden after 20 years he’s probably using drugs or something. Your safety and childrens safety should be number one x
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You are not to blame. The devil has entered into your husbands life
You can do this on your own. Being disrespected isn’t right or fair
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The audacity for him to not work and beat you?! Throw him out!!!
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Well honey,you’re already doing it alone. The only difference is,you’ll need to find childcare. Once you have that taken care of you’re all set.
Regardless, he needs to go. Get a restraining order.
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Don’t be afraid you are the breadwinner.!. Some women don’t even have a dollar in their pocket when they leave, so count yourself ahead having a good job. Get him out before he hurts you or your children.
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Honey, listen to yourself. You know it’s over. You certainly deserve better. This man deserves for you to leave. You will find you are much happier alone than with this self centered man that only have hunks of himself. So he stays at home. Why? It should be the other way around.
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he stays at home doing what? it sounds like HE won’t be able to make it alone. you can do this- you have to.
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You are worth so much more . Please take care x
Really? Can’t make it on your own? Yes you can!! I’ve been doing it for 21 years now since my divorce. That’s why you never ever depend on a man for anything. Quite giving excuses!! Plus your already doing it. It’s just that your not paying a babysitter is all.
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If your supporting your household alone then you absolutely can do it single. He’s the one who will have to figure things out. Don’t let the past 20 years keep you in a unhappy relationship. Your kids will be able to tell your not happy
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If you can’t find strength or courage for yourself find it inside you for your children who watch and or hear thing we tend to think they don’t. Nothing worth fighting for is easy even if it’s fighting for what you deserve I wish the best for you and your family. Stay strong momma
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I felt the same way I stayed for over thirty years, dealing with the emotional and physical abuse. I finally knew ok I deserved to be happy, I didn’t have to be treated like I wasn’t someone. I walked away and it was the hardest choice at the time but today I am so happy, I am free, no more wondering what he is doing or who he was with. Omg I cried so many tears but through it all I was always independent worked since I was 14 carried him for years and now I can do what I want. Funny thing is we a better being apart he looks after me well but it was never about $$ for me I wanted to be loved and I wasn’t getting it with him. I haven’t found love yet but enjoying life to the fullest now 
My mother stayed at home and my dad worked long hours. She was mentally and physically abusive, but my dad was not. My dad was afraid to break up his family or struggle with daycare while he worked, so he never left. Now that we’re older and scarred in various ways, my dad has a deep regret of never taking us and leaving. Please try to find the strength to leave if it’s toxic. You may struggle, but I think your kids may thank you.
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If he is not working then you are already making it on your own. You deserve better kick his butt out and enjoy your life.
Do not allow him to abuse you and talk to other woman while your already doing everything! Kick him to the damn curb
Piece of trash he is… your life and children are your priorities right now call the police and exit the relationship like that the next time he beats on you do it you will be amazed with al the support you will have all the family support too you got this girl x
I do not know what he is telling you but honey, you are already doing it alone. It seems like he is just there for form and if that is the case then you can DEFINITELY find someone who will be there for more than that. Good luck!
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Don’t wait till your 45 like I did
Let your kids be your strength. Find a sitter and a place then go. You and your babies need to be safe.
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I left an abusive husband and met a man who valued me as I should have been. Soon to celebrate 48 years
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So you’d rather have emotional and physical harm? What’s it doing to the kids ?
You work he doesn’t so you pay house payments, .
Ppo and have the police escort him out. Yes it will hurt, but you’re already supporting yourself and proved you are strong
New start, new beginning
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Excuse me… you work; he don’t, and you’re scared to leave???
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Self mantra girl! YOU CAN do this alone YOU CAN raise your kids AND maintain a household alone YOU CAN achieve better for yourself and your children. Will it be easy, nope, but dont underestimate your power girl. You’re already a step ahead being financially efficient. Believe in yourself hun! My mother was trapped in a loveless marriage for over 20 years thinking it was best for her & her kids when in the end seeing true happiness and healthy relationships is what children need. My mothers courage has molded me and how I handle my partner’s and relationships!! Dont hold back in fear the first steps are the hardest but nothing compares to the weight lifted off you and your families shoulders by severing the toxicity. I’m rooting for you woman you are stronger than you seem and more capable than you know 
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You can absolutely make it on your own. Call a domestic violence line they can help guide you and point you in the right direction
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You’re already making it on your own. You’re providing for your family. It sounds like you’re doing it alone emotionally as well. You got this. You never know until you try.
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Find your strength. You can do it. I did it! If you need to talk, message me.
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You can and are doing it! I am a single momma of 5 and even though gets used to doing it all without back up was challenging, it still was less stressful than being with my ex husband. Get out for your kids and yourself! You got this
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Darlin, if he stays home, then the only difference between right now with him and what you need to do, is different childcare… Your working… That’s HUGE! Proud that you can still do that… Most of these evil things wont even let us leave the house… The hardest part about being a single mom, is the job and childcare part… Youve got half of that problem solved… You got this momma 
and you have a whold tribe here to support you
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He needs to go to work
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You can do this on your own. Kick him out! My husband and I were high school sweethearts and together 26 years. He left me by text message and his reason was because he hated seeing me sick and no longer wanted to deal with it. I had to wipe my tears and move on. We have 3 kids who all live with me. I work 75-80 hour weeks with Lupus and 2 other autoimmune diseases. I promise you will do better all by yourself.
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Girl you and your children deserve so much better!! You work and he stays home and acts like this?!?! Nah leave and don’t look back!!!
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Girl, I left after 17 yrs if abuse. I’m making it in my own. It’s a struggle yes. Not gonna lie, you will struggle, but once the emotions subside and you get a chance to look around, you’ll feel free. You can do it. No one has to live in abuse.
From what you say you are already living single. You work and he doesn’t. While you are working double time to make ends meet he’s doing this shady crap. Girl it doesn’t matter if you were high school sweethearts or not. No partner should be behaving this way regardless of time spent with them. So basically I’m asking you this if you are willing to put your self worth first? Where I live we have something called Family Justice Center. They will help navigate people through abuse situations. They have so many resources to help with childcare, divorce, and housing. Along with anything else. But as you are the one working and he isn’t. You have financial security. That’s the best asset to have when needing to get away. Best of luck to you.
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Any man who blames you for HIM beating you, is a bitch. Take your kids and walk away. No woman deserves that, and no kids need to be around that kind of influence. Parent or not
Ask yourself this one question do you want your children to think it’s ok to be treated like he treats you .Do you want your children to think it’s ok to be abused or to abuse their spouse.
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Prayers for you honey it won’t be easy,but it will be worth it. Leave an focus on your children!
You can do this on your own, you’re basically doing it already. Get a PFA. If abuse continues before you get out of there call the police every time, even if it’s just threats, document everything. Once you get over the hurdle of leaving you’re going to feel so much better. In my experience the abuse usually gets worse if you stay. Please leave for yourself and your kids, don’t go back no matter what he promises. You can do this!
Not worth staying in this kind of relationship false hope it will be hard at first I know after 22 year’s it will be okay he’s not worth it acting this way
A little back story here: my mom and me was in an abusive situation with my dad, he was a cheater and a beater) and her husband at the time. I was 16 years old when she said… That’s enough, I am thru living like this, thru living in hell. She and I moved in with her mom, (my grandmother) we started over, she already had a job as a cna. But, she learned how to drive, bought her own house ( which is now paid off, she owns it) But since then I am now 37, married myself, 2 adult children, 1 granddaughter. She is remarried herself, to a very good and loving man. Even as a child it caused me, trauma, anxiety, PTSD. I don’t know the age of your children. But, it can affect them seeing their mom being, abuse, and physical hurt. Its more then just a physical pain, to children. Especially if they are young. So much hurt. You can do this. You have so much self - worth. You are strong, independent. Sending prayers and love. 
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You work and he stays home.
You can do this. It will suck. But i swear youll be so happy. This wont change.
You can do it. It’s bloudy hard ending it at first but so good after. Your be free and single. Good luck xx
I faced this almost 2 years ago… my heart bleeds for you! I was also in an abusive (mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially) relationship. I had crippling fear because I’d never been on my own, but I knew I couldn’t stay where I was. He almost drove me to suicide and had me convinced I was insane. Thankfully, making preparations to leave was what saved me. I started with my own bank account. I paid the bills, so when I got a job I started squirreling away a percentage of my paycheck just in case I needed to make a quick getaway. I told myself that if he changed then we could use that money for a nice vacation, but I knew in my heart he would never change. When he discarded me, I was prepared and had enough to get my own place. I never took a dime of his money… just my own hard-earned cash. When he saw me moving on with my life he tried to worm his way back, but I’d already seen enough of his true colors to ever think he’d truly change for something as trivial (in his mind) as love… I knew him to be incapable if love. Please… protect yourself and your children. You’re already working and providing for your family… that’s the greatest hurdle most of us face. You can do it, just trust yourself. Loneliness may rear it’s ugly head, but don’t let him back in. If he loved you he wouldn’t hurt you 