My kids stepdad cuddles them. He has been in there lives before they were out of diapers. He loves them like they are his. He has no Ill intentions. This makes it seem like your thinking of it as a sexual thing… it’s your life so you do what you want. But I completely understand why he would be offended. Just my opinion though. Parent the way you want to.
My bf and my daughter. Nothing sexual about it.
Is this a joke. He’s your fiance and is accepting and loving your daughter.
Or you don’t trust him and should leave instead of staying with him. Poor fella if he is actually just trying to be a good step dad. He probs feels your putting him on the pedo
If you look at him as SPOONING your child… it’s you that has the wrong mind.
If your gut is telling you that there’s something wrong there, if you don’t trust this man with your kids, then you put those kids first and leave him. But it’s also normal and healthy for men to show affection to their children. So here’s my question to ask yourself; why does this bother you? Is it because you don’t think he’s trustworthy with kids? Or because you grew up in a home where men didn’t show affection and you’re not used to it? You need to figure it out because if there’s a chance he’s hurting your kid you need to get out
Why are you sexualising it
If you have doubts then there is something in your gut that’s telling you he’s not right for you or your children … you need to leave him
You are def In the wrong here. There is nothing wrong with a father cuddling his children! Sounds like he’s a loving father. My oldests biological father has never been affectionate towards her and it definitely affects her. She has said she does not even feel like he’s really her dad. My two youngest childrens father on the other hand is affectionate and loving. As soon as he gets home from work all the kids flock to him in excitement he’s home. My oldest has never acted that excited when her bio dad comes to pick her up for visitation. 🤷
Please see a therapist. Get this worked for yourself before damage is done. There’s a reason you feel this is inappropriate and you need to get it sorted out. Prayers for you and your family.
I fully understand your struggle with this. Personally I would be very uncomfortable but that is because of my own trust issues. At the age of 25 I found out my father is a pedophile. But that being said just have an honest conversation with boundaries that cause you some stress or even the slightest concern. Just explain to him that you aren’t accusing him but rather it was an uneasy moment.
So.you want her to grow up being treated differently to.your other children ?
It sounds like your making more sexual than anything. Wouldn’t you rather him be close with your children than distant?
You’re having another child with the man… not being judgemental but a bit of a messed up situation
1 of 2 things. Either something happened to you as a child from a family member which causes you to think that way or you think that he would be capable of doing such a thing. With both things, you need to resolve them. For #1 get help, talk to someone about what happened. For #2, don’t be with him if those are the thoughts you are having about him.
I am a step mom to an 11 year old. I’ve been his stepmom since the age of 1. I rocked him to sleep every night until he was 5, on his days with us. I never saw it as wrong and neither did my husband because I was his mom figure in our household.
So if when his biological daughter is 4 and you think it’s okay for him to do that with her because that’s her dad, then why not with the child that he is accepting you with and is choosing to have that father daughter bond with.
As a mother whose child has been molestered at 4 years old I have to agree your looking to much into it.
My stepdad came into our lives when I was 3 and treated me perfectly.
How would your 4 year old feel he was allowed to do that with the youngest and not her.?
You as a mother need to teach your daughter what’s OK and not OK between a adult and a child or even another child ( mine was molestered by a 12 year old boy) you will never be able to be there to protect them so teach them to protect themselves
No YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT to make rules and enforce them Mama. And follow your gut feeling.
Why are you sexualising your child and your partner? That’s the real problem here.
If you’re concerned about this, then you’re concerned about your child’s safety, and you shouldn’t be with him if that’s the case.
I was raped as a child and I feel that I don’t have parents that I could have run to for help. So as I reached adulthood and became a mother to a baby girl my mind didn’t trust a soul with her, not even her daddy. But she is now 9 almost 10 and he is the best most amazing father to her. If I continued to have them thoughts or to feel uncomfortable in any way then I would not have laid with him again or allowed him near my babies. I had a reason to be iffy but I came to the realization that I was wrong. If this man has no history then don’t put him through that. Cuddling with your babies is amazing and it does not mean anything. Unless that babygirl comes to you and says daddy did this or he hurt me then let that man love his daughter.
“not cuddling with the girls”
That means you don’t even like him cuddling HIS own biological daughter
If he is legitimately being a creep than you shouldn’t be here asking advice you should’ve already packed up the kids and left
If it is infact innocent and just a father showing love and affection for his children then this could be an extension of child hood trauma you may have suffered and I suggest you seek some counseling to get over YOUR issues before you mess up your children’s chances at forming healthy bonds and relationships
Absolutly! If u dont want this guy cuddling ur kiss why on earth are u with him. U clearly dont trust him! If u trusted him you wouldnt have an issue with it.
I think you feel a certain way about your oldest because he isnt the biological father to her. But if he hasn’t given you any reason not trust him then let him cuddle her there isnt anything wrong with that because if you stop him and then let him cuddle your other two younger ones then your being unfair to your oldest!
If you not trust him, why are you tougher? An why did you have children with this man🤔
Depends on what other acts and what they are but just cuddling on a couch with a child isn’t anything to be concered about
100% in the wrong. Wtf are you even talking about? Do you want him to treat her as his own or not? How dare you have more children with him then expect him to treat her differently from them. She will grow up with a complex and he will hold a grudge. You should be happy he treats her as his own! Some women, sheesh, I just don’t get it. If this stems from past personal abuse, get therapy. Don’t ruin the bond your child could have.
I don’t recall ever cuddling with my moms husband…they were married 3o sum years…he was physically abusive to my mom and sometimes her children…he sexually assaulted his own…he was also an alcoholic…i trust my children…their reaction to interaction…i cannot allow them to miss out on real love and affection because of the things i witnessed growing up…i. Talked to my kids about good touches and bad touches…i don’t want them to be fearful but aware that people who are supposed to be good to us can do bad things …and it’s ok to tell when someone makes them feel uncomfortable in anyway.
WTH you don’t even want him cuddling with his own biological children? This man stepped up and is helping raise you daughter. Stop sexualizing it. Do you not trust him? If that’s the case you should probably leave him. I cuddle with my step daughter all the time.
If I felt that my man would do anything I’m wrong to my child. He wouldn’t be my man anymore.
Damn…i spoon my child when we watch tv. Sooooo…
Do you see anything wrong with you cuddling your kids? Don’t leave your children alone with someone who you clearly don’t trust… weird
What?! I’m sorry I don’t agree. My husband has been raising my two girls as their only father figure since they were 3 and 5. They’re now 12 and 10 and he’s cuddled them since they were 3 and 5. He didn’t force it but when they started to come to him he didn’t turn them away. He’s laid in bed with them when they’ve had bad dreams or are sick, he’s picked them up and carried them when they’ve fallen. It’s one of the many reasons I fell in love with him. He treats them as his own and they live and adore him and only know him as daddy.
Your daughter is young and deserves to be loved by her step dad as if she’s his own. Especially when you’re having bio kids with him. As a BM I can’t imagine being okay with my husband treating our bio children one way and being okay with him treating my bio daughters different.
I believe there are alot of questions to ask yourself and then perhaps him. If you have be abused it may be a trigger seeing them so close. This is definitely not to be taken lightly. Please don’t jump to conclusions nor dismiss your feelings. Such a difficult position to be in. I was molested by my stepfather from age 8.5 till I was like 12 or 13. Please get some one to help to figure this all out. Praying
Stop sexualizing kids! I cuddle my stepkid.
Ether you want him to treat them as yours or don’t be with him. Uggg
I think there isnt a problem with being concerned for you daughter. You dont have to look too hard to find a story of a child being molested so i can understand where the fear comes from! I think its important to be aware but also having an open conversation with your girls about appropriate cuddles and letting them know that they should tell u if they ever feel uncomfortable. In saying that, its important for a father and daughter to bond and cuddling is a form of it. I think if ur eldest didnt have that type of connection with ur fiance and only saw that type of closeness with ur other daughter then im sure she would feel excluded.
First of all your child needs to know the talk about nobody touching them in secret. That is not to say ask her if he is its to say everybody she. needs to understand its ok to tell mom. And try to remain calm .I personally dont see an issue but since you the mom is uncomfortable you know him best .but you can ruin your relationship if your just feeling jealous or genuinely concerned not aiming to attack you. But think about it does he ask her to stay home with him while your out? Or give her extra treats? seem obsessive?
It’s pretty disgusting in my eyes, that you would even QUESTION that relationship or affection between parent/child! Why would you be sexualizing a bond between them?
First is it okay in your eyes for him to cuddle his biological children? Second you’re wanting him to treat the children differently…way to make your oldest daughter feel like something is wrong with her. And lastly you’ve clearly had something inappropriate done to you because you are over sexualizing.
You are definitely in the wrong. You arent letting him cuddle someone he views as his daughter and why? What’s ur reasoning? If ur sexualizing it or have a feeling he is trying to get closer in a not appropriate way why even allow him around ur children? This doesn’t make a bit of sense.
I’m thinking that either you are needing to deal with your own sexual trauma or you feel something is amiss. This sounds innocent to me but only you can know
If she is willingly going to cuddle with him then she feels safe and protected with him. You are raising a family then all kids need to be treated the same way. With lots of love!!!
This is hard. As a stepmom, I cuddle with my 10 year old stepson. I love him with all my heart and I would do the same if he was my bio child. If he also cuddles up with the child you share together, he would be a bad step parent (not showing them both the same love) and be shamed for that. Ultimately this is your decision. There’s a lot of wolves in sheeps clothing. Personally if my husband had a problem with me being affectionate with his children he would not be my husband anymore. You cannot put a child in his life and then tell him the appropriate way to love them when he clearly does. I do understand your concern though. We have to protect our daughters. There are so many people out to get them now.
This post has got to be a damn joke ! He is not allowed to cuddle his children ??? How would you feel if you had a SON and he asked you not to cuddle him ???
Some of y’all are being so mean! Stop it. She reached out for help, not to be criticized. Y’all ask her what’s wrong with her? What’s wrong with y’all?! why are you being so rude on your keyboard high horse?. I’m sure y’all have never made mistakes or misread something right? Geez. Give her a break. As women, we should be building each other up and supporting one another. Not saying “wtf is wrong with you”. Gosh.
If you feel uncomfortable then don’t let him spoon your child. Love and support can be expressed withouy spooning… i am doubting you married this man because he spoons your daughter but because he spoons you. I’d be cautious he is mad. Red flag number 2 of situation
My fiance cuddles with my girls. He gives them a kiss on the cheek, squeezes them, picks them up. He adores them. Maybe the issue is with you. Do you believe he’s hurting them or would? What dad doesn’t show love to his own child at the very least??
Yes you’re wrong not to be okay with that. You should want a man to come in and treat your child that isn’t his the exact same as the child that is his. So many women can’t find a good man like that and you’re wasting the one you’ve found. Do not let your daughter suffer and miss out on the chance to have this father in her life because you find something perfectly normal and loving to be inappropriate. I would absolutely apologize to him and really think about what it is that is bothering you about it. Is the bio dad still in her life and he’s the one with an issue? Or do you just watch tv and the news too much and assume the worst about a man who you love, want to marry, and have 2 children with. I’d think you would be over the moon happy that you found a man to love your daughter and treat her the same as the child he helped create. Think carefully before you overreact and ruin a relationship that is good for you and your children.
Speaking from experience
Cuddling makes you uncomfortable because of something in your past. Your unresolved trauma is now impacting your parenting. Have an honest conversation with your partner, I’m sure he’ll understand.
If u don’t trust someone with ur daughter u shouldn’t be with them period! I don’t know the details but maybe some underlying jealousy…if he is there for her and she wants to cuddle then there should be no problem especially if u aren’t there. I don’t know what else to say…not being rude but sounds weird to me
If you’ve already got a kid with him and one on the way you’ve clearly been together a while so has him cuddling her always been an issue or is it something that developed? Because unless you have reasons not to trust him then what’s the problem? Seems unfair on your oldest what if she saw her sister cuddling him and wanted to aswel, is he ment to tell her no you can’t because mummy said your not allowed? You’ll alienate your oldest
What in the actual… You have more issues with yourself than husband snugging with your kids. That’s what be should be doing!
See I really have a feeling in back of your head that your guy is not right in the head and in that case for your daughters you need to leave before it’s too late but… It’s perfectly normal for a dad to show affection it would sadden me greatly if my daughter’s dad didn’t show her that affection a dad is suppose to be the one to protect her and make her feel secured cuddling is perfectly normal at 4 between dad and daughter but like I said before if you actually get the creeps from him then you probably need to investigate that also make sure to TALK this with your daughter I won’t even let my husband wipe my daughter now days make sure she understand privacy and her body is hers only to touch it’s your job to protect her from any person
Way to make her feel unwanted and him uncomfortable
In my opinion it might just be innocent cuddling he loves u so he sees ur daughter as his own he doesnt want to treat her different then his kids i get that…but if u really dont feel comfortable calmly talk to him and explain why u feel uneasy about it
My partner lays on the couch with our girls the exact same way and all I see is a dad relaxing cuddling his daughter
Wow are you serious!!! A dad is allowed to cuddle their daughters… Well done to your man for stepping up and being an amazing dad…
Wait. So, according to the post, you’ve talked to him about you not wanting him to cuddle the “GIRLS”, meaning also his own biological child. You also leave your daughter and him alone together. On top of that, you’re having another child with him. Girl, you’ve got to be kidding me. You trust him enough to marry him, leave him alone with your daughter, and to have TWO more children with, but he can’t be a good dad and cuddle any of them?! Nah, GTFOH with that nonsense. Dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. If you think something is going on with him and your four year old, 1. You don’t need to leave them alone together. 2. You need to NOT marry him. 3. You need to keep your legs closed and stop having children with him! Lord
I’ve read alot of these posts and they are pretty judgmental and rather harsh. Granted, there is nothing wrong with your man cuddling with your kids. Now none of these people in the comments are the mother. You are. If you dont feel comfortable about it then sit the father down and talk to him. Every mother wants what’s best for their child. If anything I’m proud of you for asking for opinions. The other mothers on this page are being judgemental and rather harsh and rude. I’m sorry but it’s true. I’ve never seen so many rude ways to give an opinion than I have here. Judging and criticizing you isnt the way to give an opinion. I thought this page was to bring women together to help one another if they need opinions or advice, not tear someone apart for their opinion being different from what you are thinking. So sit him down and discuss it properly. Use the correct wording so the situation isnt blown out of proportion. You have every right to be concerned, you’re a mother. Every mother gets concerned about different things.
Its weird that you find it weird Imo. Why?!
You are not wrong for this!!! If you have already told him that certain acts make you uncomfortable and he continues to do that that’s not okay. Trust your gut instinct. These women bashing you obviously don’t understand the way you feel. You are a great mom for putting your daughter first. Even if he is your fiancé.
I think If you’re concerned he’s not appropriate with children you have bigger issues to worry about than an argument between you two.
I think it wrong she acting like that,but it’s her relationship and she has deal with the outcome
Ok. So I have kids from a previous relationship. My husband is a GREAT step dad and cuddles all my kids. They absolutely love it. I know it’s innocent. My own biological father abused me. But my adopted father showed me that not all men are that way. So I’ve had to overcome my own insecurities with that. Could it be that something happened to you that makes this uncomfortable for you? Are you sure you’re not reading into this and sexualizing it because of your own past? I had to overcome that myself. But I also knew at the same time it was JUST ME and WHY. Because I love and trust my husband. My kids love and trust him. So the emotions were only emotions stemming from my past abuse. If that’s the case you need to recognize that and deal with it. There’s a difference between that and intuitive feelings knowing something is “off”. I’d never project my past and feelings onto my kids and ruin their relationship with my husband. I wouldn’t have married him and wouldn’t be expecting a baby with him if I had that intuitive feeling even once. I even found it hard to change diapers or bathe my own kids because of my past. I worked through that with a professional. After all those are mandatory things we have to do to care for our kids. I KNEW logically it was needed and not wrong, but my emotional trauma from my past gave me other feelings that I knew were just that. Best of luck to you.
What a strange post!
I just really hope it’s not a jealousy thing. Issue is with you not him.
So the guy that raises your child as his own and has almost 2 kids with you is seen as a pervert in your eyes because he is showing father affection towards his stepdaughter?? I think you need help,if you think of him that way then why are you with him? Obviously you dont trust him with your kids if hes not allowed to cuddle them? I’ve asked my ex to not allow our kids 7&9 in his bed but I’d never tell him hes not allowed to cuddle them my partner who is dad to my youngest and stepdad to my older 2 cuddles them and kisses them and dresses them or applies cream to them if they need it,helps them wash their hair in the shower and all that and never would I tell him he couldn’t do any of that. Hes a father,its be the same you having a son and being told it’s disgusting for you to cuddle him.
Better question why are you marrying someone that you don’t trust. I would be offended as well.
Kinda wish OP would either one: talk to some of these women, or two: possibly seek counseling for her and/or her future husband… there’s so much to her question that leaves us with questions and we can’t give a helpful answer without the full story… why is she uncomfortable with this behavior? Has something happened to her in her past? Has she seen him act inappropriately towards the daughters in other ways? Why is she still with him and planning a future with him if she doesn’t trust him? If she doesn’t trust him then why leave him alone with the kids?
There are a lot of opinions in these comments, but I feel like what she needs is a professional to help…
To me, it seems like there is a bigger issue here…
My husband and I both have children from previous relationships. My husband and I both cuddle both of our children. (I have a girl, he has a boy) in our household, we don’t do “step” or “half” (I’m pregnant with our first child together) we do our very best to make sure both of our children know that we love them equally despite “biologically.”
If I had an issue w my husband cuddling my (our) daughter, I would not be married to him. I’m thankful that he sees her as his own & I love the bond they share. I understand, in today’s world you have to be extra careful, but in my personal opinion, it sounds as though you need to have a serious talk with both your husband and your oldest daughter. If SHE is uncomfortable with it, then there is definitely an issue. If she isn’t, then I see it as him just trying to be a good/fair daddy to both his girls.
I really hope whoever wrote this sees my comment.
Speaking from experience… I’m sorry that you feel this way. But I too have been there and in my case it’s from my own personal experiences that I cannot trust anyone around my oldest daughter. It’s not a quick thing anyone can just answer. So don’t take the whole you’re wrong for thinking like that or he’s wrong for doing it. In my case it’s me and my worries that cause the conflict. And him getting upset about it could be because he genuinely cares about her and only sees their relationship as a father daughter relationship but unfortunately like in my case and the things I’ve seen and been through I couldn’t even see passed my own experiences to see a healthy father daughter bond. And I will say that to this day I still will have a moment of doubt because of the things I’ve been through. I hope this helps you…
You watch to much Steve Wilkos
Its weird you find it weird seriously. If you cant trust your man around ur daughter not even cuddling her why are you even with him.
Were you abused as a child?
I am sorry but I think this is not right. If he has done something or you think he has then leave with your kids. What worries me is that you said you don’t want him cuddling with your girlS. So also his bio child. Does that mean that I would not be allowed to cuddle my boys?
Are there red flags? If you don’t trust him to snuggle with her, you shouldn’t be leaving her alone with him. But if there is no reason for you to feel this way than you may want to seek counseling to work through why it bothers you.
I think it’s pretty weird that you find it weird that he’s cuddling with his kids. Like they are his too. And if you find it weird do you cuddle them? I’m sure you do then it should be wrong you do it too.
It’s like saying it’s wrong for me to cuddle my son or if one of my nieces or nephews want cuddles.
Maybe you need to really sit down with him and explain your issues with him cuddling your guys kids. Maybe get counseling or go to therapy.
Shes 4…there’s not an issue with it. It’s cuddles from her daddy figure. Is she was say 13+ I’d worry…but she’s 4
My husband snuggles up with both our girls on the sofa to chill. We have them in bed with us & they often gate crash his bath. If he wasn’t a loving father I would be disappointed. That is all he is A LOVING FATHER!! nothing creepy or perverted!!
You are sick minded … PERIOD!!
I feel that if your I inner self is telling you something isn’t 100 percent then you should go with it !! I’m a firm believer in listening to your instincts!!! It’s better to be safe then sorry !! I would just explain to him that it just doesn’t fit well with you !!
I agree with the others, if you can’t trust him to cuddle in an appropriate, non-sexual way, why do you keep him around? If you think he is or potentially could be a perv, don’t be with him. If you trust he’s a good guy, then back off. If you don’t tryst him, then don’t keep him around at all. You need to decide if he is worth keeping and trusting before either he does something bad or you chase him away with your paranoia. Good, decent men who are fathers snuggle their daughters appropriately and it’s actually healthy for the girls to have that kind of affection.
I’m concerned that your so unhappy that your partner is hugging a child he’s raising as his own that it’s effecting you this much. If you really feel deep down its not a father daughter hug as such you need to leave straight away. If it’s not that and it’s because of some sort of trauma you have had you need to seek some help to work threw this cause it will ruin your life otherwise it could possibly ruin your partners/ kids too if your wrong and ever falsely accuse him of it being more than a loving parent relationship. It’s hard being a step parent really hard it’s lovely they can have that bond if my partner said I couldn’t cuddle his daughter as I cuddle my own I would leave I couldn’t exclude a child from normal parenting effection in a house where I’m doing the same to my own it’s the same for him too I’d be pretty unhappy if everytime my son wanted to hug him he got shunned.
You are wrong… on so many levels…
If you have issues with this, either A. you have been abused, or B. she has already, or C. you know he isn’t a good person. Social Media isn’t the place for an answer to this, obviously. If your gut is telling you that your daughter is in danger of being violated, why stay with him? If that’s not the issue, then you need counseling before marrying this man. Having children with him also means you need to sort this out regardless. No matter what, your child’s safety and well being come first.
For anyone saying she’s twisted etc. Don’t. Don’t judge her harshly bc she is a concerned mother , she may have very well suffered sexual abuse in her life(she may be seeking help, she possibly never has seeked help seen someone or spoke about it) . I have been abused by my bio father and I was the same exact way she is… Nervous scared , protective as heck, I worried and lived in constant fear that my daughter would be or was getting abused. Yes even with therapy and medication counseling support etc didn’t take the fears ., the constant fear of my child suffering that same kind of traumatic thing haunted me, bc like me she was LITTLE, a baby , she couldn’t speak for herself and she couldn’t defend herself if she had to. I just wanted to wrap her in a bubble and keep EVERY MALE away. Her father , I know now WOULD NEVER hurt her. But did it take me time to overcome those fears and trust him bc of what happened to me. Hell yeah!! I had nightmares , I watched everyone around her like a hawk. Even her father. I think it’s very important for mom to allow them to connect being he is going to be her dad . I think she needs to seek help if she has been abused or seek help even if she hasn’t bc she needs to identify why she is thinking this way and nervous . Also She also needs to pay attention! Great attention. Watch them together, watch him, how do they act, is the girl scared nervous quiet more tends to pull away from him constantly et. Sudden change in behavior , suddenly afraid to walk away from mom , lashing out. There are soo many things she needs to look for. She just needs to monitor them and see the relationship . If she can’t stop feeling like he is hurting her child she needs to go get help. . It very well could be innocent but if something has made her question him she needs to have her daughter examined. If she is thinking just suddenly that he is being inappropriate there is some reason and needs to check the child at doctor.
So yes abuse victims can push everything off on others bc of their abuse and the fears of it happening to their baby. It is important for Baby her and the fiancé that she get help of all kind. Praying for the best!
Is there something about this man that you aren’t sharing? Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with a father cuddling with his daughter and/or being appropriately affectionate…if the thought of it makes you uncomfortable then you should ask yourself why.
I am wondering how long has it been before you decided that having another baby with someone you accuse if being inappropriate was fine. He loves your children. If you honestly think this is what he is up to them unfortunately you have to accept that this type of accusation is serious and could end your marriage altogether for the fact that he is hurt and disappointed. I would leave. And that’s not something I am saying to you. That’s something I am saying to HIM!!
Are there things from your childhood that have happened and perhaps are surfacing? Concerns because of what may have occured with you… will you allow his girls to cuddle with him?
Depends how old she is, and that’s your future husband if you can’t trust him then wtf are you doing
Uh… were you abused as a child? If so I can see why it may be a red flag to you but not every guy is a pervert… my husband cuddles with our girls all the time… it’s not in any way a bad thing. I was molested by my own father for several years, however I do not judge my husband for being a normal loving father bc of my fathers poor choices. I recommend counseling if you have gone through this yourself.
If you even think anything sexual involving your fiancé and a child you shouldn’t be with him… period.
My husband cuddles with our daughter all the time. I mean I get that he’s not her biological father, but if he’s the only father figure she has, and they have a good relationship, I don’t find it odd at all. If she was acting like she was uncomfortable with the attention, or showing signs of being groomed or something, it would be different. But I think you’re projecting something from your own past onto your husband and child, and that isn’t healthy at all. Showing affection to children, especially your child/step child, is absolutely normal.
I’ve been abused so I’m saying that so not on only after my own childhood I co u ld be paranoid but if rather be safe than sorry … glad ur opened minded and not stupid to think just cause u have a baby with him doesn’t mean you ignore shit that’s making you uncomfortable… good job mum wish my mum looked at her man like you are if she did I maybe wouldn’t have suffered years of abuse …in saying that please leave if ur in doubt I couldn’t be thinking that way and stay no way
I have a step father and he’s been with my mom since I was about 8yrs old. My mom said to him to always keep his distance in fear anything would happen. He has always been respectful and seen me as his real daughter. Now I’m 21 and just on occasional hugs for like gifts or when I moved out It was very awkward for me and didnt feel right. I would have liked a real connection with him now that I’m older and have a kid of my own but I know my mom was just trying to protect me in a world that is messed up. Just voice your concerns and if he loves and respects your voice he will do whatever is possible to remain a good spouse and father figure
You dont even want him cuddling with his own flesh? More to this story then you’re putting out.
Seriously? You clearly have deeper issues. Nothing to do with him cuddling his own children…
Follow ur gut it will never lie
I wouldn’t be okay with it either, especially when you have told him to stop and he continues to do it.
Either you’re a weirdo or you need to tell the entire story…
I feel as a mother especially now days it’s OUR duty to TALK about privacy and making sure she understands her body is only for her to touch you need to have her feel in control of her body and that NO One is allowed to touch her inappropriately places at four my daughter understands this she has older brothers and even her dad she will shut the door every time she changes refuses any one to help her in the bath and or toilet but me her mother because that’s what she feels most comfortable with is me
Do you have doubts or questions or concerns about your fiancé? I guess suspicions would be the better term.
Or have you been touched inappropriately or abused?
Or has your daughter been previously touched or abused?
Because otherwise cuddling a child and showing affection is completely normal. Even for a step parent.
If you don’t trust your fiancé with your daughter then where is the relationship going?
And if you had these feelings or suspicions why would you proceed to have two children with this man?
If he had a son, and that son was your stepchild, would you not cuddle the son because you are a grown woman that is not his mother? Would you be upset if he came to you saying “please don’t cuddle my son”?
I would be more concerned if he didn’t cuddle her , seems you have issues or there’s more too it xx