I Don't Think My Child Should Be Co-Sleeping With My Ex And His New Girlfriend: Advice?

QUESTION:

"My daughter's father and I are separated. He has a new GF. He and his GF have started taking my daughter on trips. What bothers me is that they all sleep in a bed together. She’s always co-slept, and I have no plans on changing that style for us. It works. I just don’t like the idea of her sleeping in bed with them. Am I absurd? Should I set a boundary? How would I enforce/hold him accountable if I were to ask him to give her her own space for sleeping? Though she probably wouldn’t get down with that set up TBH."

RELATED QUESTION: Family Sues City After 2-Year-Old Burns Feet At Upper West Side Playground

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

"I think if the girlfriend is letting your daughter sleep next to her you should be thankful that she is doing that for your child vs. Kicking your child to a separate bed by herself. She is showing your daughter the same love you give her and you want to step on that.. shame on you for her father and his girlfriend respecting your child's comfort and loving her the same way you do."

"If you're not going to change it on your side you can't expect to change it on dad's side."

"You have to realize, she's not used to sleeping alone. That doesn't change for her because she's at her dad's."

"If she still sleeps with you, why should she not be allowed to sleep in the same bed as them? That’s all that baby knows and you’d rather disrupt her comfortability over jealously. Cray!"

"If you have made co-sleeping the norm. Why would you punish the kid… It's normal to feel jealous when a new female enters your kid's life. But don't punish the kid for it."

"As a stepmother, when my husband and I first got together 30 years ago his son was 2yrs old and co-slept with us sometimes. We didn’t think it was a big deal, because it made him feel comfortable. It’s not about you! Be glad your child has another person in their life that loves them."

"If you're not going to stop co sleeping then you can't expect them to. You are the reason she needs to co sleep."

"How do you expect them to get her to sleep if you don't want them co-sleeping that's all she has ever done."

"So what this momma is saying is this child has always felt safe co-sleeping. The child would feel unsafe and scared if she didn’t cosleep. It makes her feel uncomfortable so the child should be punished and feeling unsafe alone in another bed?"

"Consistency at both houses, if you are going to ask him to stop, then you need to stop too. If she’s not co-slept it will take adjustment and you need to work on it as a co-parenting team."

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

Whilst I appreciate how & why this might make you feel uncomfortable (my son is 14 but was only 18 months when his dad started a serious relationship with someone & he co slept with me) so was probably doing the same there even when she was there. Which was probably very hard for her as well. If his girlfriend is so accepting of your child within their relationship then I would be grateful that there is such an accepting person in your child’s life. Because she could be a right bitch & not respect the level of care your child expects. Its hard as a mother to think of your child snuggled up & comfortable with someone else, however that’s far better than them feeling pushed away & forced into a bed on their own if that’s not what their normal is. I would see how it goes & address any issues as they arise. As harsh as this might sound, it’s a you problem not a child problem, unless there’s something that makes your child uncomfortable xx