Then why are you with him if there are so many serious trust issues?
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You sound like miserable person.
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why are you still with this man ?
ask that …
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I think you should leave him. Your whole situation is toxic.
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Leave him. Find someone who will carry their half of the weight.
After you leave him, take those babies and go on vacation yourself.
Been there. Did that. Definitely was less stressed once that was over with.
And of course you sound like a miserable person. You probably are. It’s miserable to have to constantly worry about a man child, how much debt they’re secretly hiding, and watching them live with no responsibility while you carry it all.
I can’t stress enough how much better it is on the other side. And you’ll eventually find someone to match that energy fully.
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He is going on vacation alone and you are stuck at home to work and take care of the house and kids? I would pack his 
up and drop it off at his mom’s while he is on vacation.
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If you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him. That’s the bottom line. Nothing else matters.
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Tell him to take all his shit with him.
Why are you putting up with that bs?
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That sounds like a great opportunity to pack his shit, when he gets back he can go be a man-child at his moms house.
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You don’t need to be there when he gets back 
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So after reading this , it sounds like he isn’t contributing to anything involving you , your kids or the household. You’re doing everything and you don’t even trust him. So why is it , you’re still with him ?
Although he is behaving like a man child , it is not right of you to treat him as such. Honey , allowing him ? Deserve ? Oh no no no that’s where you lost me. For him to even consider going , tells you all you need to know. I suggest getting your priorities in order and he shouldn’t be on that list.
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If he isn’t contributing anything to the household or the relationship then just get rid of him. Sounds like you could be more happy and successful without paying for his ass too.
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Without trust there is nothing.
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Sounds like what I went through 12 years ago. We have been divorced now for 9 years.
Why are you still married if you don’t trust him?
Pack his stuff, put them in self-storage in his name, file for child support, change locks, get security cameras, & let him go. You deserve better, he’s no good. Block his family.
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Change the locks…
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He sounds like a right mummys boy, being enabled to be like that! But at the end of the day he is a grown man and he makes his own decisions if he decides to treat you like that and have no consideration for you then that’s his choice you cant say “he doesnt deserve it” hes not an dog earning treats. It’s entirely your choice how you allow other people to treat you. If he thinks this is ok and you dont then you are clearly on different paths from what your want in this relationship. If you have 3 kids together is this a recent thing him behaving like this or has he always been like that and uve just put up with it? It doesnt sound like you respect him so seems like hes showing you as much respect as you show him maybe? The more is clear relationship issues that need resolving. lifes too short to spend it unhappy if it’s not working it’s not working
He can go, and his stuff will be on the lawn when he returns. Locks would be changed, too.
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You don’t trust him, AND He doesn’t provide for his family… girl you’re dating a BUM. You also shouldn’t have to ask a grown ass man if he “deserves” a vacation because you can’t go, especially if it’s a family trip that’s paid for.
My man and I go on vacations with our family and friends without each other often and that should be a normal thing without having to worry. Peace of mind is everything!
Be done with this loser 
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Run for the hills babygirl. Run far far away. Don’t stay with him.
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I wouldn’t deal with him or his mom treating me and my kids like that you don’t need him you take care of yourself and kids…run and don’t look back
He better be taking a kid or two with him!! That’s what I would tell him, why would you want to go off and not do something with your kids on spring break?! That doesn’t make sense to me, and you don’t work… yeah, you better be taking these kids so momma can have some kinda spring break too!
Tell him to go, and then pack up his shit, change the locks, file court paperwork, and be done with him. He can go live with his mother.
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Girl tell him to stay with his Momma! Sounds like your handling everything as it is so tell him to go on.
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Would love to know the out come on this …
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With no trust is no relationship. I don’t see what the big deal is if he goes with his mother and family.
Literally posted this on two pages and both have come up on my newsreel. Get rid.
That’s a bit selfish for him to even consider, like why would t Grandma want to see the grandkids instead of the son.
If this was me I would say “go, but please pack all your stuff and take it with you”.
A man is the one who should be providing for his family and not taking bogus trips to mommy for Spring Break. You are the one who has made sacrifices to work, to birth 3 children and also to raise a husband who think’s it’s perfectly fine to run to mom everytime she wants him.
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Dont trust that bs!!!
Allow him to go? Deserves to go? Your not his mother and you don’t need to act like his mother. He can what he very well pleases and its not your place to to talk to him as if he is a child.
With that being said…your dynamic of you working and him not, is only a switch of the SAHM. Instead he is the SAHD… not really a big deal. But trust is the problem. Either leave or give him the rope to either hang himself or not.
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Mommy boy. Cut him off
Leave hun leave. You clearly got this on your own.
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Yea and make sure he comes home to an empty house too. Let mommy feed his ass.
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I hope his mom has a room ready at her house for him and money to take care of him bc when they got back that’s exactly where that mommas boy would be! If you don’t trust him and he isn’t providing for you or your children but YOU ARE why exactly do you need him?? Sounds like you’ve got this on your own anyway. You said you had 3 kids…not 4. Your children should also not have to deal with these issues. I pray you are able to make a decision for this situation.
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Hell no! He is supposed to leave his parents when he gets married. He’s not a damn child. If his family isn’t going he shouldn’t be either. If he goes, I’d have his shit packed when he gets back.
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I’m just wondering why you r still sticking around muself
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This relationship is clearly toxic and needs to end.
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There’s lots of red flags. You’re treating him like he’s your child, and I imagine you have reason. That being said, if you don’t trust him it’s not gonna work.
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Tell him to go. And have his stuff out ready to picked up and move back in with his mum when he gets back.
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Leave him,life is too short to have to have your s/o on a leash.start fresh with someone new.
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Leave. If he isn’t contributing to your family and you’re struggling to make ends meet despite talking about it with him, you’ll find you’ll feel much better cutting his dead weight off your shoulders. Do you and your family a favour and put your happiness first.
He’s clearly learning from his mum on how to treat others so I doubt there’s room for improvement
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Girl please just leave him
This happen to my best friend. They were not married but had children. He left with his Mom and sister to Florida’s to visit family. They actually were bringing him there to get him settled. Pack his shit and leave it on her door!!!
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If you’re gonna stay with him, you need to set boundaries. Maybe kick him out to his moms for a while so he can decide what he wants because you can’t change someone that doesn’t want to change. They have to see what’s worth fighting for. And after that go on a vacation with your kids. It sounds like you need break and some space from him. Then leave it to him to figure it out. If he doesn’t want to improve the relationship maybe it is time to get a divorce. If not then you need to suck it up and stop complaining. If you allow him to do this and continue to stay with him then he will continue to do it. I don’t know about you but I grew up in a broken family. And as I got older and my mom and dad had told me what happened in their relationship, my dad cheated on my mom cause he was upset she didn’t wanna smoke weed and party anymore or as he says “wasn’t anymore fun”. I told my mom she should have left my dad a lot sooner. But of course she stayed for me and my brother. But when I grew up I was upset cause she always put herself last. She deserved to be happy. Just like you do.
Honey until your “man” steps up and becomes a man hold your breath. Crying or complaining won’t grow him up…thinking you should be looking out for your family and letting go as he doesn’t support you nor doesn’t seem to care
There’s two sides to every story. All I’m hearing here is you determining wether or not he is deserving of time with his mother?..
you come off as very controlling and quiet frankly I’d want to get away from you too if this is your attitude.
You could always see it as time for you to do the things you say he never wants to do.
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What does fair have to do with it?, youre sounding like a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum. His mother invited him. Its her family time with her children. Do you invite her and her family whenever you have something to do? You don’t trust him but stay with him. That’s your fault. Grow up.
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Yeah I thibk you’re being a sook
The family you are raising should always come first. The trip should of been discussed as respect! As for the trust issues. They are not apart of the mil or her issue. They are between you and him. I get it! Had a sil who done the same thing…had is the key word because fuck all that non sense. Happily divorced raising 3 kids and 3 dogs. About 350 lbs lighter 
(meaning he’s gone) lol
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So why are you even with him,? I think you already know this answer
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Clearly she doesn’t care about your feelings because she didn’t offer to bring you along. Clearly he doesn’t care about your feelings because he didn’t say “no, unless we can all go”. You already answered your own question by saying you don’t trust him. This is going nowhere. Have him go on vacation, and have the locks changed while he’s gone.
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Don’t give him any money to go and plan your own mini spring break even if it’s just for one day! Screw him.
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Drop him like no tomorrow there are way too many things wrong here
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It would be a done situation. Do what you want. The locks will be changed while you’re gone. Girl if you’ve been doing it on your own you don’t need him.
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Your outlook is horrible.
You don’t think he “deserves” time with his mother?
Circumstances are not the best I’ll give you that. But like dude. That’s his mom.
Lol I’d go with or without your consent
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A lot of red flags here. Clearly you don’t see him as an equal, why are you ever married then? If he is that bad why stay? You have 3 kids together but this whole rant was about you and your kids. He has every right to spend time with his mother and sisters. Is it really fair that you take that relationship away from him?
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Tell him to go
Spoil yourself while he is gone
Show the kids a lovely time
Let him miss you
What stops you going out for a night or having a break? Sounds like the mum wants time with her children, which isnt something you can/should begrudge him or her of no matter what the situation is with you all and whether he works or not.
I dont work, my husband brings in the money but if my mum wanted me to go away for a few days with her, I wouldnt have him telling me i dont ‘deserve’ to go spend time with my mum and I wouldnt kick my husband out if it was the other way around either.
I’d completely understand if it was him & some friends or something, but its his Mum. Hes a grown man to be making decisions on his own as to whether he can be trusted or not.
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Should he get rewarded…
Does he deserve to go…
My children…
Its not fair…
While working thru your problems, you’ve turned him into your 4th child. While he’s been dealing with staying clean every hour of every day are you appreciative of what’s going on in his head to achieve this…? He’s trying to get himself together, as well as being a SAHD and you ask if he deserves a break…?? Of course he does ~ as much as you do because you work so hard…!! Is he having to ask you for money too as you seem to hold the purse strings. You’re blaming your husband for not going away for spring break ~ but by your own admission, you didn’t go anywhere because YOU’RE the one being tight with money…!! Put your hand in your pocket for a change and take your family away. Better still, you fund it but give your brow beaten husband some self esteem and let him organise it ~ if he really wants to go away with you at all, after how he’s treated at home. No wonder he wants to go with his mum.
He got off drugs! Of course he does deserve to go. That’s not always the easiest thing to do.
He doesn’t work, he doesn’t help with the bills, he doesn’t help with the kids, AND he cheats!!! 
GIRRRRRRL!! 
LET HIM GO…Let him go on vacation with his Mom…Then let her take care of him after… He’s about as useless as they come!
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Get rid of him he’s not worth staying with .
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Girl, been there. Mine works very intermittently while I work numerous jobs at a time. He is always going to spend time with his family (whom I don’t trust) and he acts shady while with them. He also gets to go on trips with his dad and brothers while I’m usually stuck here with kids. He even went to a bachelor party while unemployed the 2nd night we were home from the hospital with our son. Very very frustrating. But years of this and talking and fighting it out have helped. He sees where I’m coming from and works harder to give me a break when he sees I’m burning out. Do I think he “deserves” it when he goes? Nope. But is it my job to decide that kind of thing? Also nope. Talk it out with him.
Change the locks and pack his stuff while he is gone and move on with your life
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Not fair to you and the kids. Something fishy going on and I done had my exs mom look me straight in the eyes and lie … Said not her of all people and it was my coworker
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Send him of happily then change the locks.
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Wrong question. Deserves to go? He’s not your kid. Should he be taking any kind of vacation, when it’s you that works, etc? Idk. Does he take care of the kids while you work?
The right question is: Should I stay in a relationship with a child who goes on vacation privately with mommy, while the kids and are home? Uh, not in my house. He’d live with mommy when he got back.
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Go live it up with your mama, but don’t come back
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It is okay for her to want to spend time with her kids only.
Not to sound mean but if you are this paranoid and have no trust why are you with the person?
You are putting yourself through all of this for what? To stress yourself out? Nah, he can go and stay 
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It’s weird she wouldn’t include you. If he accepts wanting to go without you tell him pack all his shit and don’t come back . That’s just me
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Send him off with a hug n kiss!! Tell him to have the time of his life!! Then pack his stuff, send it to his mother’s house and change the locks on your doors. You deserve so much better!! Don’t settle!! 
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Let his mom HAVE HIM for GOOD I have 100% been there and I’m taking a leap but I’m guessing his mom babying him is prob part of his prob with not being an adult now. And you doing the same. You’re providing for him for what? He’s not the man or partner you respect anymore and you resent him so let him GO do it for you and wish him happiness. And job or not put him on child support bc your kids deserve a parent who will work hard to set a good example and provide for them.
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Lmao let his mama have him girl spoil you an your baby’s, let the kiddos pick supper do activities ,treat your self to a couple of things, the way I see it your better off
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He is a grown man that will make his own decisions. Up to you on what you want/need to do with that information.
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Girl give that child back to his mommy. This shouldn’t even be something you have to deal with.
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Not me. We all go or Nobody goes. And if he did he would come back to shit packed and he’d leave again with his mother for good this time.
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Nope, nope and NOPE!
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I’d be pissed!!! Trust is hard but you might need to rethink if it’s going to get better or not? Best of luck!
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You should let his mom continue to raise him. You, being the adult, change your locks and move on with your life.
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Let him go and take his stuff with him! Y’all are married with kids…if he goes without you, that’s just plain disrespectful and has no regards to your feelings. He should be man enough to stand up to his mom and make sure you and those babies are included. If he can’t…he needs to go and not come back!
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I wouldn’t stay with him!!!
As a wife, the terms “he doesn’t deserve it” really annoys me.
He is not a child. You aren’t supposed to parent him and decided what he deserves and doesn’t deserve and what privileges he should and shouldn’t have.
I get the history but that’s your choice to stay married through it and it doesn’t mean that you should try to parent him like a child.
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Yikes at “should he be rewarded”. Is he your husband or kid? I’d venture to say that you two don’t belong together, him with all his issues, and you who sees him as your child.
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What’s your question? You’ve pretty much answered it. You don’t trust him because he’s proven you shouldn’t. Tell him if he goes it’s over and stick to it. He evidently don’t care about you or his kids. Raise them to respect theirself.
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He’s dragging you down…and he’s leaving anyways even knowing it’s made you upset.
There’s your answer: leave
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That is so not ok at all. Of course u know that or u wouldn’t have asked. He is not the one, that’s clear. And I’d cuss he and his mom out so bad and leave them all behind. I hate that ur in that situation. I’m so sorry… But trust me u can find better for sure! Better yet be single and don’t depend on anyone to do anything but u so there no disappointment. Just my feelings.
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Perfect time to get the locks changed!! His mother can take care of his ass.
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For gods sake get rid of that anchor. That is not a husband or a partner in life, he is a joke.
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If you don’t trust him, why are you with him?
Do you want to accept this sub standard for the rest of your life?
Do you want to teach your children that it’s okay to be treated like this?
I would seriously be reassessing this whole relationship, don’t you deserve better?
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I’d tell him to go and don’t come back!!! Fu(k ALL of that. Lazy as$ boy. I couldn’t get thru any of that without cringing. Give the child back to his mama!!!
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Umm that’s her son and her daughters & If she wants to take them on a vacation she don’t need anyone’s permission. She’s allowed to have time with her kids.
If you don’t trust him that much leave him bc it isn’t gonna get any better if you try controlling where he goes or what he does.
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Why wud she ask him and not you and the kids too that’s just horrible !!!
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Send him to his mother. Pack his pajamas and toothbrush. U dont need another kid to raise.
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I would have left a while ago.
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Are there any things good about him?
You work fulltime , he stays at home for cleaning, laundry, dishes, shopping, cooking, entertaining and taking care of the kids?
If yes, he deserves to go, as it isn’t impirtant who brings the money in, equality in effort is important.
If you find your home in a mess daily while he is at home doing nothing, without a dinner waiting for you, then I would buy a lock.
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Take that opportunity to leave you obviously don’t need him!!
You don’t need no man!
Tell him when he packs for the trip to go ahead and pack all his clothes then change the locks while he is gone and he can stay with his momma
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He wants to act like a little boy let him be one and raise the kids yourself!
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