No…my oldest had his time with my daughter in the hospital with us right after she was born…just us 4.
With Covid I wouldn’t want anyone around my nb, people can’t resist kissing and holding them close. However with that being said I’d let my parents be there so think if it was ur parents would it be different? At the end of the day it’s ur child and just tell ur husband this is how I feel have them drop ur oldest off and be done with it. Don’t be surprised if he welcomes them in
Lord, why don’t grandparents realize any access they have to children is at the discretion of the parents. That’s a bonding moment. The grandparents should let them have that moment. She didn’t say they couldn’t see the baby.
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Well family is important. All family. My daughter in law wouldn’t let me see my granddaughter and guess what , she isn’t my daughter in law anymore , but my granddaughter is still my granddaughter, I feel she made me miss out on so much. It was very selfish.
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I think you should let them stay, I think people make a huge deal over everything. I remember when we used to bring the baby home and everyone was waiting.
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You can always ask for 10 minutes and let them
In ! They’ll be excited as well
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When we got home my parents, sister, niece, nephew, brother in law, mother and father in law and neighbour were already in our kitchen waiting 
I looked awful and still have the fabulous photos my father in law took! However my two step daughters met her the night before in the hospital but I can see how Covid would prevent this xx
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It is literally completely up to you. If you don’t want them in there and want your child to see their new sibling for the first time with just you and dad then that’s that and no one but you makes the final decision.
I have 3 boys. Each and everyone, when they were born…the grandparents were there. Covid wasn’t around so that wasn’t an issue. My boys father and my two oldest were the first in the room when my youngest was born then the others started coming in, but there also wasn’t a limitation on how many could be there. I didn’t care but that’s just me.
As far as Covid…I wouldn’t want anyone around the baby when arriving home at least for the first week. And I’d be VERY limited on how many were around at a time.
It’s your baby, your choice! If you and the husband can’t agree…at least try to come to some compromise. Don’t let this be a huge battle. The baby will be there with your eldest every single day. The grandparents won’t.
Wait and see how you feel. You might want the extra set of hands.
Im so so glad im single.
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Why not let them take pictures of all of you, with your daughter meeting her new sister for the first time? That would make a great memory
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Let them all love together. Making a huge deal outta this is way overdramatic drama mama. Soak up all the love. It takes a village to raise a child. We are all in this todether.
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I don’t see the issue with his parents being there… I’m sure they won’t be up in the baby’s face while your daughter is meeting her sibling. They will give them room to bond. It’s not a big deal.
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I agree with you. I would want the special time without them and then they can be involved.
Yes you’re in laws shld be there, it wld just be a very mean thing to do to them.
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I know this feeling. My in laws wouldn’t leave the hospital room when my first son was born. Everyone was eating greasy food in there and the smell made me so sick. My mother in law even looked at me and pointed out how bad my acne was. I just wanted to bond with my son and husband. At that moment, enough was enough. I feel your oldest should get one on one time, but I also feel like you should be able to go home and relax without having to argue or worry about so much. You just had a baby! Some husbands and in laws are a nightmare 
I hope y’all can work it out! Positive vibes sent your way.
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I’d say let them be there but they will get their time. Big sister gets first introduction and needs time before grandparents get their time.
I think you should take your own advise and please be kind
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I agree with him. They’re doing y’all a favor by watching your oldest. Just let them know that when y’all get home you want him to have some one on one with time her first.
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I’m having my second in two months and my parents will have my son and I don’t want my parents there when my son meets his brother for the first time I want him to meet him first and have that one on one as well. So I’m going to have my husband leave and get my son first.
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We gave birth feb 5th and our daughter got admitted to icu on feb 8th and were just now getting discharged tomorrow sometime but itll be me my husband our immediate family members and aunts uncles,cousins the first 2 days than we will have our time at home after being at my grandmother’s the first 2 days(10 minutes away from our home) and yes everybody will be washing hand and wearing hand sanitizer and the mask is up to them,we dont wear ours,if they want to they can,if not they dont have to but they will be washing hands ans wearing hand Sanitizer/germ x. April the 5th our baby will be 2 monthes old.
I’d say let them. You’d be surprised the emotional support they can give to your eldest when she’ll meet her baby sister. I bet your eldest would feel more relaxed, especially when she would want (at some point) the attention only on her. You described it as “… meet the baby with no distractions…” I say, let that “distraction” be there for your eldest. It won’t ruin the moment. You’ll have your “we’re just the four of us” moment later. Be kind, too.
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I completely understand both sides. We are really close with my family and not my husband’s. Not that we don’t love them, we do very much. But that is a special moment. You all could always come up with a combined solution. Just have them drop your little one off to you SO. Ask them for an hour with just the three of you so you can enjoy the moment together and then you can have them join you later to let them come and meet the new little and get picture of you all as a family. 
again no one knows your family, and we can’t make harsh judgment off what is said. Just do what makes you comfortable. Hope you figure everything out and congratulations!
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You do what you feel is right. And the most calm environment for your family unit. I do know that my moms fondest memory after I had my second child was seeing my first borns face light up with absolute love for his baby brother. She couldn’t get over how much he just fell in love so completely. Every family is different as is every relationship and every situation right? Especially now in such an already difficult time to be having a baby during a pandemic.
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I felt the same way! What ended up happening was my grandma and mother watched my son while I had my daughter. We told them when we were on our way home and they had my son in the living room. My husband went in and had them leave but leave our son there, then he came and got baby and I from the car and brought her in to meet her big brother. I wanted our son to be the first on to meet her and I didn’t want all the added pressure from either side of our family’s. It worked out great and I’m so glad I took that time for us to be by ourselves 
Do what makes you feel comfortable as you’re the one birthing this child. Many people tend to forget that woman actually need to push out a baby or have a baby cut out and when you get home from hospital you actually need to settle in at home because you’ve just went through so much as it is. I totally understand where you are coming from. I gave birth last yr and unfortunately my husband couldn’t be present with the birth of our daughter and we both agreed on nobody visiting the day I got home because he wanted to bond with our baby and he wanted to feel special with spending at least a certain amount of time with her before the grandparents met her. I’m sure that they will understand that you only mean well by it and if they don’t understand please don’t allow it to cause and argument between you and your partner.
Can your in-laws hang back for a few minutes when you first get home and let sister have just a few minutes? I think there’s a compromise in there somewhere.
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My 4th child was born during covid restrictions in 2020. My other children could not come to the hospital to visit but stayed during the days with my parents. On the day of mine and bubs discharge my kids were at my parents and when we walked in with the baby our three kids were in my parents lounge room where they met their sibling and spent some time with him. After they had the one on one time with the new baby my parents joined us in the lounge with my nephew who was holidaying with them at the time. My mum was amazing and she thought up this process on her own I didn’t know it was planned this way but I absolutely loved it. My older babies had precious bonding time with the new baby.
I would suggest doing something similar to this. The first moments of introducing the new baby to his/her siblings is precious and I think it should be something your older child experiences without having to share the moment
Suggest it to your husband. 
Good luck
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I agree w you parents and siblings first unless they came to the hospital. We didn’t allow anyone to come over when we came home from hospital
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Sometimes I feel we (new moms) have to control wayyyyy too much of this. And I feel you’re really digging in on a non-issue. Births are family affairs, you would be gutted if this child weren’t gushed over and loved on - so let the in-laws do what grandparents do and love on the baby. Just ask them to respect that your oldest child gets to hold baby first. Believe me it could be worse- your in-laws could be live 15 minutes away and be practically strangers to your children. Enjoy their excitement.
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My BIL drove us home from the hospital as my husband doesn’t drive. My sister and their kids were at the house with my son when we got home. They stayed long enough to film our son holding his sister for the first time and graciously left. Hopefully your in laws will be smart and not over stay.
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I dont think they should be around and YOU are the one having the baby.also its in the middle of a pandemic and unless theyve had their shots,drs advise the new babies to not be around anyone they dont live with.
I say it should be just you, your children and husband… the family you are creating is more important than anyone else… including"In-laws"
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This this this! I’m due in June and I want my son to meet his brother before anyone else. Its more important that they form a bond first before anyone who lives outside the home! Plus covid is still out there so in all reality other visitors can wait a few weeks in my eyes.
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When my son and daughter-in-law had my second granddaughter, I was watching the oldest. When it was time for them to come home, my son came and picked up the oldest and then went to the hospital to bring my daughter-in-law and the baby home. It was just the 4 of them for the day and I thought it was absolutely the right choice. I was not offended in the least. Having time to bond, unwind and just relax for a day is not too much to ask.
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Nah no I think the siblings should bond first
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I just had my baby 3 weeks ago tomorrow. My parents watched my 3.5 year old while we were in the hospital. My husband brought my newest and I home, and picked our eldest up from my parents and we had one on one time. I have a REALLY close relationship with my parents and really appreciate them for watching her but It was absolutely adorable to watch them meet and wouldn’t have it any other way.
(We also did a video call at the hospital. I had my mom give my daughter the phone so she was the first one to see her sister. ) It was something that was important to me.
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My most precious memory from having my second is getting home from the city and going straight to my parents house who had my oldest. We got the baby out of the capsule and he so proudly handed her to his Nanna and told her her name before climbing on her lap to hold her together. One on one time is absolutely important and I fully appreciate that but you will honestly have lots of that when they go home too. A new baby is so exciting for the whole family just enjoy that! It’s only an issue for you, it won’t be at all for your older child! They’ll be loving all the attention and being involved
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Could they maybe give you half an hour or an hour as a family first?
My in laws have had the older kids each time that we have a bub. They brought them to the hospital and we had a few minutes with just us so that the older kids could meet their new sibling before the grandparents did. They were fine with this as it was only 5 minutes. Do whatever works for you.
I think this is going to be the least of your worries after that kid pops out…
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Probably one if the most unimportant decisions of your life. Respectfully
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A new family needs at least a week to bond. We watched our older grandson while our youngest was being born, at their house. When they brought the baby home, we took pictures, ooohed and aaahed and then left them alone. With frozen meals in the freezer and a clean house. She loved it.
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How old is your oldest? Seriously it’s a baby, is your older child going pay attention more than a few minutes? Bonding happens over time not just the first day. My kids were 12 years apart and my older was happy but didn’t pay much attention.
Or do you have other concerns and this is an excuse?
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Ahh I kinda wanted the same but we went and picked her up and let everyone see her for just a couple mins and went straight home for bonding.
Your in laws are as much family as your family. When you married your husband, they became your family too…my mother in law and father in law are family to me. When my grandmother died, and I needed to get out of the house so my husband put the kids to bed so I could drive and have a chance to grieve alone…I found myself needing and wanting to tell them, that although they don’t understand me on everything, I knew they would share my grief, and they did. When my second child was born, they looked after my oldest, and they brought him to the hospital…I wouldn’t have dreamed of telling them to stay out of the room. They were there, one of my sisters in law was there, to share that moment with us and they loved it, they watched it with us, and then they took him home as I wasn’t yet ready to be discharged and they described to us how my son sang ‘i’m a brother’ to the tune of baby shark all the way through the hospital car park.
Don’t make it an issue of in law vs real parents, or that it’s just because they looked after your oldest that they might get ‘paid’ for that time by getting to witness it. And it doesn’t deprive your oldest of one-on-one time with her new sibling.
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I totally get where you’re coming from but I think if they’re there I already they shouldn’t be kicked out for a meeting. Just let them say hi and then tell them thank you so so much but you need time alone. Your children’s bond shouldn’t be affected by that.
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Personally I’m on your side. You, your spouse and your kids are your own family unit and the first time you bring you baby home you should be allowed to have that private moment if you want it. His parents can easily go get a coffee or something for 30 minutes and then come back to be apart of the home coming after you have your private moments as a family.
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I think maybe that you should consider doing both. That way there’s no negative tension when that baby enters this world. You want happiness and joy, and not stress and arguing about who gets to see the baby first. She isnt going anywhere. Have a talk with your husband and then in laws and let them know you want oldest to meet your new baby first, and spend one-on-one time for the 1st 24 hours,and then the second day the in-laws can come over. But, realistically with the whole virus and stuff, nobody but immediate family should be around the baby for the first month. Make sure they have their masks on and no one should actually hold the baby. Better safe than sorry.
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Do both? Have your eldest in a different room. Enjoy that time for how ever long you think is good then allow the grandparents to join.
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If this was me I would want it to just be the 4 of us at first too. I would have my husband bring me and our child home and then go pick up our daughter and bring her home to meet her sibling.
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My daughter is 2 weeks old and my step dad and son met her at the same time. My fiancee has a son and his son and parents came together as well. That being said, it’s up to the parents, not the internet. Hopefully you guys can find something that works for you both
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As a grandparent I know how to give space when needed and help when needed. Allow grandparents the respect and love that is due them.
Siblings will not even remember that first meeting. Yes it’s a special time. And yes the intimate bonding is special. But bonding is not going to happen for siblings in those first meetings, days or weeks. Bonding between siblings happens in the day to day.
And if the grandparents on either side want to be a part of your lives and help, why exclude them.
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I agree. My daughter got to meet her baby brother and have special time with him before grandparents. They can wait! I think the whole idea of people coming to the hospital or to your house soon after to see them when you have so much going on and just want and need to rest and spend time together is pretty nuts and stressful actually.
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Depends on whether or not you can talk to them beforehand and let them know older sibling gets first turn to hold baby with you and daddy there. Maybe they could take photos so everyone has a way of contributing.
In my opinion everyone is always worried about too many people being around their newborn yet once the baby is older and teething they’re dying for all those extra people to show up. Whatever you choose is what you believe is best for your family and that is all that matters. Me personally with all the help I get on a regular day I’m more than willing to share those special moments with my family. Also, try putting yourself in your husband’s shoes. If your daughter was with your parents while you gave birth would you ask them to drop her at the door and go home?
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I think personally it should just be you guys. That was my plan when I had mine but everyone ended up being in the room when I gave birth lol. The first ones in the nicu to hold him were his brother’s too.
I agree. The oldest needs time to get used to the baby. With as little distraction as possible.
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I felt the same way, my second son was born 5 months ago. When it came time tho, we just took baby inside and my son was the first we offered the new baby to. He refused and didn’t want anything to do with either of his parents for an hour or 2. He finally warmed up when I was changing baby’s diaper and baby started crying. The crying made him come over and then I just told him “this is YOUR bubba” and he was okay again. I think the fact he didn’t want to be around us was kind of sad, but he had the comfort of other people he loves.
I think y’all should discuss it and you should explain why you want it to be intimate.
What’s the harm in the grandparents been there too am sure ure little girl will want them there too if anything life has taught us this past year is life is too short don’t tk tomorrow for granted xx
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Your oldest isn’t going to care or remember who was there when he met his sibling give the grand parents a break!!!
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I think it depends how old your oldest is. My oldest is 2.5 and when we introduced his new baby brother he was semi curious but mostly wanted my attention since he hadn’t seen me in person for a day or 2. It was nice to have someone else there to cuddle the baby and make sure he was happy while I spent some time making my oldest feel loved.
I just had my second baby a week ago and my in laws watched our oldest and I personally think it was really nice to have them bring my oldest and stay for a while because it gave us extra hands to keep new baby safe if our oldest got rough, and also they got a lot of pictures of us as a family high was really nice. So I’m all for having them there however everyone is different
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I did all family , my brother and sister in law and my mom were at my home with my daughters waiting for us to get back from the hospital. It was a lovely reunion. Woudnt have it any other way
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I think it should just be immediate family. I’m due in a few weeks and my husband agrees with me. Once we come home noone is allowed at our house for atleast a month. Our child is not some new puppy everyone gets to play with. Those first few weeks are crucial for bonding for mom, dad and siblings.
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My in laws brought my daughter to hospital to meet her baby sister (in 2019) so they were there, they didn’t get involved they just stood by door and let my eldest lay on the bed and cuddle her new baby sister and when she got bored it was their turn for a hold and one of the kept my eldest occupied so was pretty helpful so I didn’t have to move much. And for our third my mum brough my other 2 home as this was in November lockdown and the same thing happened, she let the girls go over and see, cuddle ect the baby first and when they got bored it was her turn for a look x
Since the question is regarding your daughter then do what’s right for her. Respect HER feelings that is what matters. Have the discussion with her and let her decide. Personally im on your side.
Being a GM and a great GM, I can feel for the grandparents. They should at least get a peek—there are a lot of hours in a day. When Allie and Emma were born we all got just a few minutes to see them. A long day and quiet time is best…my thoughts. Adalyn will just want to sleep…she just had quite a trip! Good luck my dear!
My daughter had her baby last week. I have her other 3 children. I took them to meet their new sister,but I sat back and let them hold her and have their time with her before I even held her. I just thought that’s how it should be
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That first interaction between siblings happens only once. I personally would want only the 4 of us ( we are a family of 4 very recently too and due to Covid restrictions we had no one around when it was time for miss toddler to meet mr newborn but even without restrictions we wouldn’t want anyone else to be there) It is now all about the kids taking as much time getting used to each other. We took so many photos and it was so beautiful watching them together without the distraction of other family members
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To me the family you make is more important than the family you come from. So it should be a your family’s special moment
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They have no rights to. The immediate time following birth is about bonding with that immediate family. They have time later on to meet but sibling bonding will last long after.
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I agree with you. Parents can wait. This will be a special moment in her life and it should be shared between the 4 of you. I am due in May and we decided no one will see our newest until her and her sister meet first.
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I just don’t understand why people feel the need to be part of every moment. I agree that this should be a one on one meeting. The grandparents can join in later. When my sister was born(she’s 11 yrs younger than me), I was so irritated that I wasn’t able to see her by myself. Everyone was in there and all in my space, I couldn’t be w her the way I wanted for that first time
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Record it. That way they can see it but without being a distraction
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Sooo ur in laws are watching ur other child while u have another …if u dont want them there are they just supposed 2 leave ur other child home alone b4 u get there?
I personally wouldn’t mind but to each their own
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I dont see why it should be an issue. COMMUNICATION is the key. If that’s what you want, ask them if they would be offended if you did what you wanted to do and it’s better to be upfront than stress about what they might think. They are probably thinking when can I get to see baby too. Until you approach it, you will never know. The hormones are probably working 60 to the dozen so dont make that time any more stressful than what needs to be.
If you don’t want them there I don’t see the problem. Do what you are comfortable with there will be plenty time for extended family.
Uh selfish. Dey deserve to meet the baby also… Ur kids are g going to be living in the same house.
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Just be your child and you two
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I’m sure if it was your parents that could be there you wouldn’t have a problem 
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Keep the peace. It really won’t matter.
Remember you eldest may not want to be around you and the new baby. Either jealously or they just aren’t interested. Having grandparents in standby may be a good idea in case of a break down.
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Please stop being a snowflake. Your kids will be better off if you don’t raise them yo be one, either.
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When we had our second, my father in law and his wife kept our first. They brought her home to us so we wouldn’t have to stop. She came upstairs to meet her brother first and they waited downstairs. They didn’t come up until she started yelling for them to come see her baby. They stayed for half an hour max but still got to see the new baby. It was a win all around in our house.
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I don’t understand the big deal. Your oldest will be the first to love and adore the baby & get that one on one time. Personally, I think it’s extremely special to watch & would be happy my in-laws would want to witness it and be there as well. And it’s not a huge party; it’s just grandparents. I do think you might be slightly overthinking it.
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I understand your concerns. I would be more worried about the virus getting in with visits from anyone. Bring big sister home and let them see baby through door until it is safe. They would be missing a lot more should the worse happens. Consult your doctor about this. You don’t need the added stress. God Bless you all. Congratulations.
Thanks for watching our kid for days, sorry no, you can’t meet your new grandchild now…maybe later…
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I agree with your husband! They’ve watched the oldest so why can’t they meet the youngest too? They won’t be in your hair for that long and then you can say you want a few days so the oldest can bond! But I shall say you might need them, don’t forget how tiring a new born is, especially with a sibling it’s harder 
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Wow. I know how emotional and hard pregnancy can be but… This is petty beyond belief. If it was YOUR parents would you change your mind?
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It’s definitely conflicting however, you are mom, you just delivered a tiny human. Your body is tired. If you don’t feel like having visitors first thing then that is your choice. If you want them there, again your choice. If you are unsure tell your husband you aren’t sure if you want anyone else there yet and you may not know until you get home. When you get home if you know what you want or need let him know and he will need to just respect that. My husband never argued with me about wanting his parents there bc he said it was up to me and grandparents will get their fair share of time too. It is your family, your choice. These are YOUR kids, so your choice. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what is best for you too bc often people forget mom needs time, space, love, understanding and just plain old respect after having a baby. So to the ones trying to shame you, ignore it. They have no clue what your life is like or what the circumstances are so they don’t get to make that choice for you. And ultimately I think it’s poor support from them as well. You do what you need to do mama and congrats on the new baby.
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I think having a new baby is a very important but stressful time. Especially for a new mom, during COVID. I don’t blame you one bit momma. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable bringing a new baby in the world during such a crazy time. I had my son last April and was allowed no visitors except my husband. Things are different right now, but there’s ways to include everyone. Having everyone meet our boy at home worked just fine.
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Just remember you can’t blame COVID for this, you have already exposed the oldest kid the minute you left him with the grandparents. Find another excuse or simply just say you don’t like them
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Your husband is every bit as much of your baby’s parent as you are. His family is every bit as much of this baby’s family as your family is.
As moms we tend to see ourselves as the bottom line when it comes to kids and the rules surrounding them and that’s not ok.
They’re watching your elsest. Eldest is exposed to them and going to meet and get “alone time” with baby so covid isnt really a factor here (sorry it’s an excuse for you but not a legit factor).
But they’re watching her. At some point you’re going to want/need them to watch the oldest and/or baby. Believe it or not them having a decent bond with BOTH children will be hugely important. Don’t try to shut them out of being present and getting to know a baby that eventually they’ll be babysitting at least here or there. Trust me. My boys never had any major seperation anxiety or “stranger anxiety” because I made sure they were allowed to bond with any family memeber who may end up watching them.
Second. You do not actually know how your eldest is going to react to the baby. If eldest reacts badly in some way then they will be there to HELP.
I know she may be excited about the idea but the reality can always be a bit different. My eldest was 4 when I had the youngest. When the youngest started crying he ran away and hid. Now I’d just had a csection was no way up for going and getting him, crouching down, getting him out, and calming him. Thankfully between my husband, mom, aunt, and grandma they calmed him and thier meeting got to continue without any other issues.
It was really really helpful to have them present with the first meeting. It made my eldest feel more secure as well.
My advice is to not think about you and what you want. Think about your children and what would be best for them both short and long term.
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After 5 mins of ur eldest meeting the baby … your eldest is over it . Let the in laws stay they are more interested in meeting the baby and would love a baby cry . Your eldest child will just hand it back to u
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Would u tell them no if they brought child to hospital if covid wasn’t an issue? Would u tell them to step out? Let em come n set expectations that they can come for certain amount of time. Sibling will want u more than baby. Might b nice to let in laws coo over baby as u show attention to sibling and know they r loved missed n important too
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I think you are very ungrateful and selfish.
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Tbh I would totally wait and let you eldest experience it on their own first and with u hubby and new bubs.
We did let the grandparents (my own parents not inlaws) see new bubs at the same time as eldest andd I totally regret it. Yeh it was great they were able to get photos etc but it also made it very stressful and overwhelming and we were unable to have that close family bond.
Yes, they have looked after your kid (we had ours during covid to) but at the same time you have to do what is best for you and your little family. Even if it means you eldest comes in first has that initial first “bonding experience” and then the grandparents come in shortly after stay for a hour top’s and then come back another time when everyone is settled etc.