So it’s okay for them to watch your one kid…not meet the other until you say so?
1 Like
I’d say pick your Battles but it ultimately up to you of you say no then it should be no
We had a baby 9mos ago. I wanted my 3 other children to meet their sibling first, regardless if it was during covid or under normal circumstances. We video chatted with the kids and I stated that the kids got 5-10 mins video chatting alone with their baby sister. Then my mil who was watching them got to see her and then I proceeded to call my parents before moving on down to mine and my husband’s grandparents. Everyone else that wanted to see her had to video chat us on their own terms or wait till we finished with all the grandparents so we could post on social media.
I just had my baby and had same scenario. I would never not let them see the baby after doing me the favor of watching my toddler.
7 Likes
Won’t they’ve home when u arrive with the baby since there watching ur other one 
1 Like
Having lost my mother-in-law 5 days before the birth of our third child, I’ll say this- no one knows when our time on earth will be up. I have so many regrets that I’ll never be able to make right.
Your daughter will still find this first introduction as both beautiful and memorable regardless of who is with her during that time.
There will be plenty of time for one-on-one after your in laws leave.
Let them be there. It’s a memory they wouldn’t want to miss.
5 Likes
Yea… my oldest was over meeting his brother in 5 min (he was 5 at the time) then we let everyone else in the waiting room come meet him lol this time he will be 10 and we’re just going to give him 5 min like before along with little brother and then everyone else can meet the baby maybe it’s just me but after c-sections I’m the last one who wants to hold the baby 
I love that everyone else wants to do it and change diapers they just let me rest unless baby’s hungry lol
1 Like
My youngest was born in dec of 17 we had friends that watched our 2 older boys for us the day I was released she brought me the boys got a quick pic of baby kissed his head and said im gonna let yall introduce baby to his brothers I will come visit another time… she knew it was important for us to have just some family time with our boys and baby we asked for no visitors for 2 weeks from anyone we wanted the kids to get used to baby brother and it was the best decision we made by far our oldest two were only 4 and 3 when bub was born and their bond has been super strong since day 1 of meeting little man… its up to you momma you delivered baby your body is tired if you don’t want company its up to you
It’s needs to be you, your husband and your kids first. It’s about you all, not his mom and dad nor your parents. At that time neither of your parents or his don’t need to be around. After then go for it but for now keep it your family only.
I am pregnant with my third. My in laws will be watching my oldest 2 while we are at the hospital. While my in laws are going to be there when the siblings all 1st meet my kids will get to see each other before the in laws get to hold the new baby. But everyone will be there I don’t expect them to just drop my kids off and leave. They are grandparents and excited too. That being said I do have boundary issues with my in laws which has been brought up and discussed. We are working together and trying to compromise when need be. Good luck.
1 Like
So after the five minute excitement, they cant see the baby?
Your eldest can have some personal time to hold and meet the baby, that doesn’t mean his parents cant be there too. Just make the rule that your eldest will not be rushed and will have their own paced time with baby. Likely she’ll be over it super quick anyways.
3 Likes
She asked y’all to be nice…damn. Some of you ladies get so ugly about things here.
I totally get where you’re coming from, and if it were me, I’d ask that they be there too, but maybe hang back a little just to give your two children a chance to see each other first. I’m not sure how old your eldest is, but she will probably not stay excited for long about the baby. She’ll be ready to go play after a few minutes. Then the grandparents can come in and get all the baby snuggles they deserve. Because they do deserve it too.
Where would your first be without their love and care? Where would your husband be? Let your oldest meet the baby, she’ll be done with it quickly and then it’s the grandparents turn. That baby’s loving and involved grandparents however, will not get over meeting your baby. Take love, give love, if you can’t handle it go take a nap while they visit with their son and enjoy their grandbabies.
Some of us wanted nothing more than loving and involved grandparents for our children.
4 Likes
Hmm I think that oldest definitely gets first meeting of baby but if they are in the room with you all it should be fine. When I had my son in July of 2020 we were allowed 1 visitor at a time and only siblings were allowed in if they were under the age of 18.
My mother brought my daughter. My daughter got to meet her brother first, got to hold him, love on him all that first. My mom was there though. I loved it because we got a lot of pictures this way.
Agree with your husband it’s really not that deep jeez 
5 Likes
Ask them to wait in another room for a few minutes while your oldest meets her sister, and explain to them why, they might surprise you and tell you they’ll meet the baby later either way your oldest will meet baby first
There’s really nothing weing with your in laws being around when your oldest meets the new arrival! Your in laws are the ones watching your oldest while you’re birthing their youngest grandchild! This shouldn’t be a big deal, you’re all family coming together! Geez!
3 Likes
I’d say compromise. When they bring your oldest home, suggest they wait x amount of minutes for just you, hubby and kids, then they can come in and meet baby too. And offer an x amount of time with his parents. Maybe give them an hour or so with the kids while you and hubby sit back and relax, taking it all in. 🤷 relationships are all about compromise.
5 Likes
Unlike many of the people here, it is my opinion that you don’t owe the grandparents anything. If you choose to ask them to go home, don’t let yourself be guilted into changing your mind.
That said, I’d like to pose a couple of questions for you to consider. First, how long do you think your oldest child needs alone with the baby? I can tell you from experience as an oldest child in a family that I don’t remember, at all, bonding time with my siblings as babies. I’m not sure it’s as important as you may think, especially considering there will be ample time to bond after the grandparents are gone.
Second, is it worth it in the long run to deal with the grandparents being around now so that later there won’t be any hurt feelings. I know I said don’t be guilted into letting them get their way, and I stand by that, but it may be the wisest move for you in the long run to let them stay now for a few hours and then not have to deal with potential fallout in the future.
Good luck with your decisions. And don’t listen to the folks saying your husband is just as important in this decision. He is equally a parent, yes, but he isn’t the one who’s carried the child for the last 9 months and been through labor in a hospital. If what you want is to be alone in your house to rest for a couple days, I hope he would be on your side in pushing for that.
6 Likes
I’d just let them honestly who cares! I had my 3rd 9 months ago and my kids weren’t even the first ones to meet her, it was my in laws!
for me though it’s really not a big deal, she’s gonna live with her big sisters all their childhood life so it didn’t really matter lol
I’m so glad my mother and sister in law were in the hospital room when my daughter said “That’s a cute baby! Where’s his mom?” when she met her baby brother. Sixteen years later we are still laughing about it.
1 Like
Won’t they be home when you and the baby arrives? Since they’re the ones looking after your eldest. It really is ideal to have the first meeting with only just you, your husband and your eldest. You can still have the quality time once your in laws are gone. Or even if they’re around you can have it inside your own bedroom. Anyway congratulations and God bless your family 
Some people just too dam much…smdh.
3 Likes
It sounds like you have this wonderful joyous beautiful moment in your head. but the reality of it is their going to be like oh the new baby hold it for a few minutes and then go on about their day. Let your in-laws be there to take pictures of it.
2 Likes
My bonus kids don’t really remember the first time meeting their baby brother 2 years ago (they were 9,8 & 7) BUT my mom was there to take pictures of it while dad held baby and I took a moment to sit by myself. 
It’s not like the baby will find closest with the first 5 people it meets.
1 Like
Had a baby a month ago. My toddler got to meet baby first. Grandma was here and able to see baby but my kids ALWAYS come first
1 Like
Your kid your choice
When I had my second baby the in-laws keep the first. I regret to this day that they were there when the 2 met along with my sister in law and her husband and daughter while I was still in the hospital. I wish it would have only been us. With my third we came home in 24 hours and the first meeting was in our home with my parents. Unlike my in laws they known boundaries and gave us space.
1 Like
I totally agree with you…you all need family bonding time just the three of you…just my opinion
1 Like
Wow…you like to create problems when there arent any…
You child can have one on one time when your inlaws go home.
7 Likes
Totally on your husbands side on this one
3 Likes
Honestly I feel that if they are going to be taking care of the eldest one and will bringing her home or already be at your home when you arrive it would be a tat bit rude not to let them see the baby and then you, your husband and your eldest daughter begin your bonding upon their departure - I’m sure they aren’t going to overdue their welcome and would understand and not stay but a moment but it’s your child and choices but feel it’s not going to leave a very good feeling with anyone concerned. Early congrats on your new addition to your family.
4 Likes
What’s the big deal? Is the new kid going to do handsprings? What is there for them to see?
1 Like
Not everythings about you your a grown as women not a 4 year old kid quit with the me me me
Sooo. As soon as you walk in home, you are going to kick the inlaws out.
Stinnkk.
4 Likes
So I just had my second baby in November my oldest is 6. My in laws had him while we’re in the hospital. We decided to do a private meeting for them to transition our son easier. Dad dropped me and baby off at and went and picked up big brother to bring him home alone. His parent came over later on, but we made sure that it was just us for the first meeting. I feel like that was better snd he loves her so much! He was so happy he met her before anyone else did!
4 Likes
How is your relationship with them? Why not just ask them (or have your husband ask) if they would be offended if they gave you a few hours and then go from there?
I wouldn’t be upset with my kid if they asked me that. But I would explain why. People don’t usually get upset when they know where you are coming from…
My daughter and son and law came home with their second and we were there because we watched our grandson. However, the very first person to greet and hold that precious baby was her brother. We stayed long enough for hugs and kisses and then left them to get their time together.
1 Like
Ur in laws should be there
1 Like
Idk half my family was there when my oldest met my now 3m old. I don’t see what the big deal is
1 Like
I really dont see an issue bc the oldest will have all the one on one time that they want after the in-laws leave.
3 Likes
He’s wrong. You’re right.
“Thanks for stepping up and watching my kid, now get the fuck out so you can miss this beautiful moment in your grandchildren’s lives!”
You’re selfish af.
Let your in laws be involved . You can have all the alone time you want when they leave.
1 Like
I get where you’re coming from but screw it! Your eldest will have missed you more than the excitement of the new baby, Inlaws being there gives you precious moments with your eldest as well while they fuss over baby, Your eldest needs you rather than anybody not needing to be there
I think its about time that people just do what makes them happy. Stop thinking or caring about what other people think. They’re your children and if you want to introduce them one on one then that’s what you do. Simples.
I don’t think this is a right or wrong situation but a preference…
and if your preference is that you’d prefer to have a mom, dad, and siblings only baby meet and greet it’s perfectly acceptable and even reasonable. You just gave birth, last thing anyone needs is being forced to entertain other family members with your newborn while trying to recover.
Now other moms may be more opt to including grands and thats perfectly fine for them but doesn’t make it the “correct” way whether they watched the older sibling or not. That was a great and helpful gesture from the in-laws heart, not a favor to hold over someone’s head to get baby time. Make it clear your in-laws are appreciated, loved, and important but your comfort and recovery take precedence at this time.
And to be quite honest idc if it has nothing to do with the eldest child bonding with baby. If you simply wanted the alone time so you can climb straight in bed undisturbed and scroll through netflix 
you heal and socialize with baby when you’re mentally and physically prepared to.
Petty
Toxic
Bigger things to worry about
Why get caught up in this kind of mind set?
Family is family
Your child has a life time of bonding
Weird
Exhausting
Silly
All the things that come to mind when I read this kind of self induced drama.
12 Likes
I was thankful to still have my parents at the house with my 25 month old when I came home with the new baby. My mother actually stayed for a few days afterwards to help out. I had a c section and couldn’t do much and my toddler was quite jealous of his new sister. My mother helped keep him occupied and gave him one on one time and she helped take him outside to play while I caught naps with the baby. Oh, and she helped with dinner. I was so thankful to have had her there!
2 Likes
Stop tripping on the grandparents should be there,and your other child will be proud showing them how she handles the baby.
Really? 2 nd child will look at baby, maybe hold for a picture and then go play. Don’t lick your in laws out of seeing their grandchildren! Very selfish
1 Like
What an insult to your inlaws. Good enough to babysit for free but you want to dump them for a contrived intro. How about everybody be joyous and welcoming at the same time?
4 Likes
Would they not already be there with the older one when u get home? You can’t really exactly say OK go before you get out the car… I think let them see the new baby for half an hour then the older one will still have plenty of bonding time plus don’t piss your babysitters off your going to need them
I agree with you. Give yourself and your family time to breathe and come home and bond together. It’s a magical moment bringing baby home to their sibling for the very first time. Grandparents can wait.
I wish I had such horrible problems Jesus
2 Likes
Im with him. This is way more important to you than your kid, sweetie.
1 Like
Wouldn’t she already be there? Sounds kinda inevitable if she’s already there watching your eldest? Personally I’d battle the decision cause I’d feel bad trying to boot someone out the door all quick like after doing me a favor… I see what you mean though. Mabe when you get home, sit your eldest down, then sit with her. Have your husband take the mom to the side to “talk” to her in another room. Then you get the one on one, have her hold her new sister and what not while your husband tells the mom some stories of the first moments? After watching your eldest for this big life changing moment, she’ll want to meet the little too ya know. This way you get your own time with your eldest and she can be there after to meet the little one too.