You’re all so bloody nice. Take the phone away, block her number. Be the parent.
If he can’t treat you with respect and her lack of respect is rubbing off on him, then remove the privilege.
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She sounds like a piece of work. I’d tell him to snap out of the additude and get of the phone or 2 moms will be getting together for a chat
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It sounds to me like the young lady has some issues probably resulting from her home life. The whole If You Love Me Thing makes me feel like perhaps she lacks attention from her parents and for her to be able to just not go to school also tells me they probably don’t really care to much about her future either. So in my opinion rather punish him for probably being the girls only go to/comfort maybe inviting her over and guiding her in the correct direction may help them both. Try to understand the situation a bit better for yourself and your son so you know what your dealing with.
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Abused By My Girlfriend: The Teenage Romance That Descended Into Terrible Violence - YouTube follow this story and watch with him.
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OOOH MISS GIRL. If you don’t call those parents and let them know what their daughter is asking for!! You’re gonna end up a grandmother!
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Their brains aren’t developed enough to say whats good behavior and what’s not. Find a way to have parental control on his phone so you can monitor and control everything without even having his phone on you. I have my boys set to lock them out at 9pm. And even at this age , especially at this age our children can be taken advantage of by other children. D2l.org
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1st of all if he could abide by the rules with the phone I’d take it away. If it is only when the phone is to be off the. Take it away at the times that he isn’t supposed to be on it. 2nd just a piece of info I got from a friend (detective) if they are send pics (inappropriate pics) and one or the other got mad or into trouble those could and will then be considered child pornography. They could get into trouble for this big time. I would set harsher rules and if he can’t follow them then take the phone away all together. Pushing him away Ian NOT a good idea especially if he is open and talks to you about things going on with her. Keep your relationship with good and open!!!
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Wow! What a manipulative piece of work she is. She is really damaging your sons mental health here and his approach to future relationships. Speak to her parents and take that phone. By the sounds of it he’s being easily led by her to impress her? Put a stop to it all.
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Be the parent ur not his friend
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I cannot give a ton of advice because my children are younger than your son, but I wanted to say one thing in order to try to help you put the girlfriend’s manipulative behavior into perspective for your son in a nice way that he may be able to really understand.
Maybe sit him down and tell him you would like to talk with love, and give him something to think on. Ask him if he knows that you love him, and that his other family members love him (but be specific). Then ask if he loves those people on return. Then point out that neither you, nor he has ever used the phrase “if you really love me, you would…” in order to make you or those family members prove their love to him, or him to prove his love to you or those other family members. Let him know that love isn’t shown because or when it is asked to be proven. We show each other love naturally, and a little at a time.
Hopefully, he would take that analysis, and really think on/through it.
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Kids/Teens notoriously “hate” thier parents 
I did…but the truth is I hated the rules.
At 13 (and even 16) i didnt understand why they were necessary in short my mom was seeing things i wasnt thinking or caring about.
It’s not only ok but healthy to put rules and boundaries in place especially in situations like this.
You have a lot of options. A lot…And you’ve gotten some really great advice already.
But I personally would approach things a little differently.
First…I’d invite the girl over for dinner.
-Hypersexuality in teen girls is often a cry for help. If it’s an abuse situation…talking to her parents could make things exponentially worse on her.
-its possible that hes wanting to do xyz and putting the blame off on her so he doesnt get in as much trouble
-this could run a lot deeper than just talking about sex, it could be a potentially abusive situation for your child.
I feel like observing them in person would help you get a better feel for the situation as a whole and help you figure out what the best response is.
In the meantime, take the phone at whatever time he’s supposed to put it away. Give him a warning so he can tell her (her reply will also tell you a lot). Put in parental controls (I like family link) you can block certain things since he’s clearly abusing the privilege to use them. I’d also start making the chores he’s supposed to do a stipulation for getting privileges.
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Little girls can be viscous. Tell him they have been known to get pregnant on purpose, and she definitely sounds like the type. As far as the disrespect, like everyone else said, anything other than food, clothes and a home, are privileges. I tell my kids… I love you too much to allow you to act like that or ruin your life.
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If this were my son, he wouldn’t have a choice, he’d not have his phone. Not only he not doing what he needs to be doing, but he’s doing only what he wants to be doing. Teaching the difference between a want and a need is hard, but possible. He also is being inappropriate with her, maybe not as much as she is with him. But, he needs to be sat down and told he has personal boundaries for himself also. I’d speak to her parents because it sounds like if you don’t, you maybe a grandparent. But, the harsh side of it… I’d take his phone until he can prove to me that he will do what he needs to do, learns to be respectful, and tell him he isn’t to be speaking to her simply because… she’s provoking dangerous behavior for a child that age.
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My daughter’s 14 and is doing similar dumb arse crap skipping school etc I don’t blame it on the boyfriend she’s responsible for her actions we punish her but the behaviour is still the same she has no phone now and is grounded we can only do much as for skipping school I’m gonna park up on the lunch break and catch her red handed and embarass the shit outta of her
Rather than say turn it off at x time, take it at that time. As to dawdling to school. tell him it isn’t your decision, the state mandates he attend and if he doesn’t, he will be in juvie with no phone, no girlfriend and no say.
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My son is 12. We have an app that kicks his phone during certain hours. Best believe I’d take his phone FOR GOOD. If he ever did something like this.
I take his phone for days at a time if he’s disrespectful or doesn’t do his chores.
My son knows his phone is a privilege and not a right. As is our Xbox and even his tv. I run a no nonsense house. I’m the parent not him. My children don’t dictate their own rules.
If I were you I’d take the phone and forbid him from talking to her. I’d damn sure not let him see her. He’s a child. Talking sexually at 13 years old is definitely inappropriate. If they begin to share nudes that’s child pornography. Give him a run down of how much trouble he can get into legally.
I’d rather my kids hate me for putting a stop to a toxic relationship than love me for allowing it.
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Is there a father in the picture? Maybe that’s what he needs. Some male advice/ influence.
You take the phone away completely until his behavior changes it’s that simple. But you best sit down with him and ask y he asking that question about the pregnancy question asap.
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I downloaded the google family link app. It lets you set limitations and parental controls on the phone.
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TAKE THE PHONE at bedtime. Lock in a safe or hide it somewhere til appropriate hours.
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My son has a problem with his phone at night and as a result he now must leave it downstairs to charge at night and if the behaviors don’t change with the girl talking from experience it will get bad. You need to nip it in the bud. Also you may want to reach out to her parents and have a group meeting maybe that way everyone can be on the same page.
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Um break them up. Take the phone away for a month or so.
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He is 13 no 13 year old is responsible enough to have a girl friend. And TAKE HIS PHONE
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If he doesn’t want to listen I’d have his phone plan cut off and no more cell phone. I’d also let him know that his girl friend is manipulating him and controlling him and that isn’t healthy in a relationship.
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Honestly I would take a step back. He is a teenager probably in his first relationship he needs to learn from his mistakes and make his own decisions. If you push him too much he will rebel and things would get much worse. I would tell him that if he did his chores and was more responsible with school I would be more lenient with the cell phone. Positive reinforcement
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I dont have a teenager but this little girl sounds like bad news take his phone and do everything you can to get this girl out of his life
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Start teaching him the laws of what he can do and not do. Sexting before a certain age is illegal. Nude photos before a certain age is illegal and show him the charges for them and if she lies about her part to make herself look good. Don’t just tell him show him the laws. Have him look up manipulation, ghosting, and mental abuse.
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Why is a 13 year old dating. He should only be worried about school right now not girls
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Um, he’s 13. If he wants a girlfriend he has to be mature enough for one. Which by his attitudes and being easily manipulated by her says he’s not. So girl, bye. I’d be speaking with her parents about her behavior and be a united front that the relationship is not healthy for either one of them.
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I would nip that in the bud REAL quick.
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Just lay down the rules that have always been and stick to it. I have mine give me his phone until he finishes his chores, if he is on it late at night i take it from him and it will stay outside the room all night. As far as blaming his changing on some little girl, he is his own person. Do not let yourself or him get into the trap of thinking someone else is controlling what they do. He can say no, he can do what he knows he has to do, even if there is someone in his ear he has to be accountable for himself.
She sounds like bad news. I would have him sit down with you and have a talk. And nip it in the bud. Monitor what they’re talking about and teach him what she’s doing it wrong. If you have to take the phone away then so be it
Next time she calls in the middle of the night you answer the phone and tell her not to call back
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Take the phone all together.
Take his phone and wait till she texts and ask for her address, pretending you are him… then show up at her parents home and let them read the texts she sends him, I promise the problem will be solved and she’ll no longer contact your son
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I would talk to her parents.
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Take his phone away. Wake him up on school days one hour earlier. Keep him busy. 13 is too young for a boy or girl. Talk to her parents. My niece got on the phone when one of her brothers had a girl calling him, she straighten the girl out quickly.
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I am biased here. I started dating my husband when we were 13. Our relationship sounds exactly to a T what you’re describing. We were obsessed with each other- healthy or not. My mom kept communication wide open so I never felt like I had to hide things from her. My husbands mom was more strict and uncomfortable with the entire situation. We spent a few years sneaking around to see each other, call all the time, text, etc.
Her intentions were pure, but it shut off all communication between the two of them because ultimately at that age girlfriends come before mom.
We used to talk the same way inappropriately out of natural curiousity, but we never slept together until 17/18. We got married at 22, had our son at 23, and we will be 25 this year. Obviously our situation is unique but a good reminder that teens will find a way!
His behavior issues are more than likely just attributed to being a teen and she’s an easy person to blame.
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My son is only 9 and really doesn’t show interest in girls quite yet but with the pandemic and all, doing virtual and everything he’s not at school with girls. But these kids these days are growing up way too fast. They devolp more quickly then we did at our age. There are 12 year Olds looking grown out here. I would like alot of people say put parental Controls on his phone using some sort of app. And that way you can monitor the texts and pictures being sent if any are being sent. Unfortunately there are girls out there getting pregnant at 10,11,12 and 13 by boys the same age or older. I’m sure they are probably just curious which is totally normal but she seems way way over the top. And sounds like she is manipulating your son. Now you said he talks to you about this stuff and it is amazing you have that open of a relationship. I’d say it’s time to sit him down and have “The Talk” with him. I’d also like others said invite her over if you haven’t so you yourself can see how they act with each other and you can let them know what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate behavior in your house or anywhere for that matter. I would also be sitting down with her parent/parents. And I’d be watching them carefully when they are together. I’ve heard of quite a few kids these days having sex at school in bathrooms and under bleachers like when we were all teenagers there were people doing that. I’d also just take the phone at the time you set for it being off and not allowing it back until the next day. That way you charge it up at night and he won’t be on it talking to her. If he has any other electronics like laptop or tablets I’d put parental controls on there as he could be talking to her and video chatting on those at night as well. Or if need be take away phone, laptop and tablet at night as well. I truly wish you all the luck with this Hun! And lastly, if you sit down with her and your son as well as her parents and her behavior does NOT change then I would tell your son that the relationship is extremely unhealthy for him and end the relationship. That may mean blocking her and letting the school know that you do not want your son having contact with her if that’s what it takes. It is Definitely time for you to intervene and set boundaries. I wouldn’t want my son thinking that behavior from a girl is normal and healthy as it is not. Best of luck
I would take the phone. When he’s old enough to get a job and pay for one himself then he can get one himself.
Next, I would then bring that phone with all its messages strait to her parents/ guardians. They probably have no idea. I wouldnt go there hostile with an intent to blame her though, I would go over to open their eyes.
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I see a bunch of blame on the girl and the only proof of it is your son said so. No offence but kids lie. Maybe is is saying stuff or exaggerating so he can avoid harsher punishments. And he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. If your son isn’t mature enough not to pour water on himself simply because a girl told him to then he sure isn’t mature enough to have a phone or a girlfriend lol. My son is 13 and he had enough dang sense to know what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t…
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They’re are parental apps and whatnot that allow you to disable his network service during certain times.
I would personally talk to her parents as well.
I have the Google Family Link app on my children’s phones, 11 & 12, which allows me to monitor what apps they go on, limit the time if need be, and lock it at bedtime so they cannot be on it at all. You might look into this and put a strict limit on his phone time. As he completes chores and remains respectful, you can add time to his limits. If he fails to complete chores or becomes rude, take time away or lock it if it’s severe enough. This can all be done from your phone. Just a thought. Also, continue to talk to him about what’s inappropriate behavior and how those types of relationships can become toxic… hope things get better.
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Sorry but a 13 year old doesn’t need a girlfriend.
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yeah…nope. bye bye phone.
Hello parents…shut that shit down.
I would be getting ahold of her parents and letting them know what’s going on and on school nights there wouldn’t be an option take the phone so you KNOW they aren’t talking. The BEHAVIOR IS inappropriate yes but again it’s great you anf him have an open honest relationship where he tells you. I would definitely get ahold of.this girls parents though.
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Its not the gfs fault that yer son is breaking the rules set out by you.
She isnot the bad person here.
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Have you tried… Idk… PARENTING? TF? Why are you talking about “pushing away” a 13 year old? And why are you letting him just do whatever the hell he wants and get away with it?
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Going through same thing
Need to stop this relationship now or bigger problems down the road. Have you contacted her parents on this issue. I would!!!
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Sounds like home life is rough. Why don’t you have her over for dinner and try to connect. Then maybe she will feel safe at your house and maybe respect your rules a little better
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This is why allowing girlfriends at the age of 13 isn’t optional. You sound pretty chill, maybe that’s part of the problem.
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I use to make my daughter plug her phone in in another room at a certain time at night to keep her off of it
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Teach him self respect now or he may end up being led astray by any and every woman who gives him attention. My brother met a girl in his teens and of course she fell pregnant when he met someone else, fast forward some years he now isn’t allowed to have his family around and his children are not allowed to interact with his family so he basically lives in a prison. He been brainwashed and manipulated with his children and has become toxic himself and his family are the enemy?
Seems to me that he can’t handle having a cell phone. Oops … mine now! 
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Guess who wouldn’t have a cell phone anymore? You should probably give her parents a heads-up about the inappropriate things she’s been saying as well.
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My son will be 17 in September. No phone,tablet, or big game system.
I say you pay the bill. You call the shots on whom he dates until age 18.
Phone should be given when he goes to school and given back once home. IF he rides the bus.
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I dont really know because I don’t have teens but I’d definitely start talking safe sex and start talking to him about relationships, especially controlling or toxic relationships. Talk to him about boundaries and respect and how to treat a partner and how he should expect to be treated. Be honest and let him know he can come to you about anything. I mean, this is just me, but I’d probably do “the talk” and teach him condom safety. I know you think it young, but I think that line of thinking is how kids end up with babies as teenagers.
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The only thing I can say is he/she are 13. THIRTEEN. If this was my daughter I would be praying the mother of said boyfriend would call me to fill me in on these findings! No way Jose. And to ask at 13- what do I do if I get her pregnant?! Just scary. THIRTEEN. Take away the phone past a certain hour no matter what.
My oh my the times are so different 
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My opinion you and your spouse and son have a sit down with the girl and her parents and talk to them about what is going on and how its inappropriate for these kids to be talking like that to each other
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Throw his phone in a lock box and give it back to him when he’s mature enough to have it and find him mentor as it sounds like he needs one .
My son is 14 he isn’t havin no girlfriend or boyfriend he doesn’t even have a phone . there is no anything till he is older !!
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You control the phone and set the rules. It’s time you have the protective sex talk if he’s bringing up pregnancy questions. He’s a teen and he should be standing up for himself not letting her lead him around by the nose. Stop those video pictures now
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Take away the phone until he puts his self back together and can be a responsible person again … weeks at a time if you have too … you are his PARENT not his friend
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13yr olds don’t date, period. They don’t have the mental stability to deal with a relationship. They should be riding bikes and watching spongebob and maybe making a TikTok video
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Well first of all…time the phone goes off it goes in your bedroom
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I would be taking that phone away and explain to him that he could be going down a slippery slop. This is from experience I was in a relationship with a guy my same age as your son and the girl are now. The first year was the same things happening to your son then the tables flipped I started getting beaten and raped by my then boyfriend, he used to make me Infront of his friends and at school get on all fours and scream how much I loved him, he turned me against my whole family and i got out of that relationship by my parents calling the cops when they saw my black eyes and hand Mark’s all over me. This can go badly very quick and i inDURED that behaviour for two years cause i didnt know better. TALK TO YOUR KID AND GET THIS STRAIGHTENED OUT.
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Welcome to the teenage years! It’s not you it’s them!
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Have you actually met this “girl”? Sounds like it could possibly be a man pretending to be a girl
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Have a talk with him. Give him a chance to change his behavior and tell him he will have to break up with her if he keeps it up. You’re suppose to be his parent, not his friend.
Why is he as a 17y old dating a 13y old little girl
My mom took my phone every single night when I was younger because I would stay on it too! Took it at bed time and I got it back before school. It’s a rough patch but if you hold your ground he will eventually understand (and one day be grateful) that you held him accountable to his school work and responsibilities
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All I can say is hell to no! My kid is 14amd still isn’t aowes to date yet
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You’re the parent. Stop letting your CHILD run you. At 13, first mistake was thinking it was fine he had a gf…how is he even able to get his phone ? That phone should be gone, period.
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Yeah. Absolutely not.
YOU are the parent here! The boy is only 13 years old. I would be calling the girls parents and letting them know what’s going on and then talking to your son. That relationship needs to end, it’s not healthy at all!! Phone needs to disappear for a long time. Be a parent! Lord knows it’s hard but you have to protect your baby!
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My husband and i took our 13 yr old sons phone away and all internet access because he found porn and would not stop and the attitude and lack of respect and doing responsibilities was not okay. When he doesnt have access hes awesome, so we kind noticed ques when he was doing the searching. We gave him three different trys losing internet for months and then expecting him to comply with our rules. We get that hes a boy and is curious at this age however extremely innappropriate especially when he has 3 younger brothers and afraid of him exposing them to it at an inappropriate age. We even had him take a hammer to one of his phones previously because he would not stop. Wouldnt have been a huge problem if his entire search history was not just innapropriate things. He even found the incognito browser… so here we are a month in from his 3rd strike, and only internet he gets is for school in view of us and streaming videos in our front room from amazon netflix hulu and disney. Other than that he has access to dvds and a record player, yes vinyl records… lol
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My kids are not allowed to have boyfriend’s before the age of 16 
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Get your Son the baby doll that acts real .it won’t take him long to change up . Take away the phone when it’s off. No doll .Find a babysitting job !
That is the problem , 13 year olds are to young to be dating can’t handle rules , responsiblity and hormones
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Take the phone until he does his chores and homework then at bedtime. He only has it at school and after he does his chores and homework.
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Definitely Don’t leave them alone together ! Make sure he doesn’t send her any pictures of his private area because she seems like the type to blackmail him with it … Take his phone every night when you go to bed . I would contact her parents and if things don’t improve quickly put an end to this relationship.
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I have smart family set up on my phone for reasons like this. Its an amazing little app that you have control of his school nights and school days. Which means you can set the times of when he can’t or can be on the phone. My kids are 12,14,15 and 16.
Oh hell no. He is going to grow up and by 17 they’re all hormone crazy but this girl sounds like a bad influence so trust your gut and cut her out. You’re his parent not his friend so if he’s mad it’s okay. His brain isn’t grown enough yet to be in this situation. Parenting isn’t always fun. Take that phone away.
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My mom made me lay my phone on the kitchen bar at 9 every night. Okay, I did. What she didn’t know was, I had a phone a friend gave me that I’d just take the sim out of my regular phone and slip it in my back up phone.
Teens are smart and sneaky… I was. Especially when I started dating, I was open with my mom so she took me for birth control when I told her I was ready to start “experimenting.” She freaked a little, but she took the precautions because I told her I was ready, or thought I was… she talked with me like an adult, and it helped tremendously.
If his attitude gets worse, I’d take the phone to where he couldn’t talk to or see the girl unless he was at school and she was actually there. Because even if her number, social media is blocked, they can and will find a way around it. 
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She seems like a bad influence. Cut that shit off now before something more permanent happens
You need to turn that phone off.
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He is 13. You are the mom. Take his phone away. A phone is a privilege not a right. Have some serious talks about appropriate behavior and what love really is. Better to let him be mad for a while than to be tricked into something he is not ready for or has dire consequences. She is a very sick little girl girl acting out very strangely for any girl.let alone a 13 yr. Old. No improvement on his part no more phone.
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Ya I’d be taking that phone away
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I would put restrictions on his phone
Monitor the internet usage
Change the wifi password and don’t give it to him until his chores and “family time” are done, and only for a length of time.
Girls like that get very bored easily, especially if she’s not getting the responses she wants, as upsetting as it will be, she will break up with him and she will move onto someone else.
If eventually it gets to much, and you want to contact her parents
Make sure you have some kind of solid proof - as any parent wouldn’t react well if another parent came up accusing their child of something.
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So are you the parent or not? Step tf up and stop letting him get away with this crap. Take his phone away permanently.
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If its an android install parent link! That way you can set bed times and won’t have to worry about it.
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My first response is he is 13. I have a set rule no dating till 16 and that fixes a lot of problems, the next thing I do not allow cell phones in bedrooms. My last and final response is he is the child and your the adult, so their is no debate.
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Are u seriously in doubt as to what to do first off take the phone period then speak to her parents lastly discipline your child wtf u mean scared to push him away he is a fucking child whats gonna happen if he gets her pregnant will u feel better act now act tough the end.
- these are children
- this is a bad influence on your child and affecting your household
- children like that are not allowed to be around my family
- take the phone with you every night
- call me whatever u want but I’ll be damned if id let another child affect mine like that. It would be forbidden and cut off. They do not know better than you currently and are not at the maturity level to make those decisions. That chick would be GONE, along with the phone for a while for good measure
I’ve hadto reset my child in situations like these a few times and whilst it was hell going through it initially I was always glad I did and wondered why I didn’t do it sooner, because I also share the same sentiments about giving children their space and allowing them to become their own person. But sometimes they just won’t make the right decisions and you have to do it for them
Take the phone away get rid of the girlfriend
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take the phone away completely untill his attitude changes. if he feels like he needs to be disrespectful to his mother then take the phone or any electronics away.
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Tell her mom what her daughter is doing and saying
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