Hi Mamas, I need some advice. Me and my husband have been married for 8 years and together for over 15 years. For the most part, we are happy and work together to raise our 3 amazing kids. I absolutely adore him. He is kind, a good provider and father. I have never considered being unfaithful and we have always trusted each other. Recently, there was an interaction at the gym I attended with a man that both made me feel a little uncomfortable and very excited. Nothing really inappropriate happened, but he made it clear he has been watching me and finds me attractive. I have never considered cheating and still don’t believe it’s an option but this man is all I can think about since this happened. I fantasize about him and have played the interaction over a million times in my head. I need help ladies!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I dream about the guy I met at the gym
You fantasize about the attention?
Spark that back with your hubby
Take a date night with your husband- he will love that
This is completely normal and ok. Many people get crushes in their marriages. As long as you dont act on it.
It’s the adrenaline rush. Do something spontaneous with you and your hubby . Like publicly and get the funness back
Plan something spicy with your man. Get a sitter and surprise him.
I think as wives and moms, sometimes we fall to the wayside. So, when someone pays a compliment, it just makes us feel very good about ourselves. Use that feel good energy towards your husband and reconnect. Go out on a date or an overnight trip together!
It happens hun… go to a different gym lol
Heaps of people do this, you can look just don’t touch, unless opening up your marriage is an option.
If it’s not maybe try some role play with your husband
Don’t do anything stupid. It is only a temporary fascination. Work at putting a like fire back into your marriage. Don’t ever risk losing what you already have… It sounds like you have a wonderful life.
Change gyms , as it’s disrespectful to your marriage and husband …… especially since your still thinking about him and having fantasies about him …… And as moms and wives , some fall into the same day over and over eventually kinda like a rut . I’d definitely plan a date night , or weekend away . Spice things up . And be spontaneous .
The grass is not always greener.
It’s nice to be reminded we’re not only moms and wives, but a beautiful woman. Maybe spend some alone time with your husband reconnecting, and dating. Fall in love all over again. Make your marriage exciting.
So what do you need help with? Lol
Keep that little fantasy in your head girl and love on your husband lol totally normal.
All women go through this in long relationships, I feel like anyways. My grandma always told me never go for a man that makes you giddy but the one that feels like your home or your peace. You can have that eye candy but make it clear you’re a faithful woman. If that man makes you weak in the knees take those weak knees to your hubby to help strengthen you. Life is about temptations and how we handle them put that temptation to good use😏
It’s normal. I dream about Daddy Yankee. Yet he doesn’t even know I exist.
Don’t get into an entanglement
Girl you better switch gyms cause those fantasies could end up as a reality and you could ruin your marriage over it
That fantasy will pass, If you act on it an go further than just thinking about this man, you need to think of what you would loose, many men find other women attractive even when they are married and vice versa. Going by what you are saying about your married life it sounds like a wonderful life. Just do something with your husband to spice up your relationship with your husband and give that guy at the gym a wide berth.
You need to stop it!!! You cant be doing all of that, us women who havent had it all like you in a marriage wish our husbands would be half like yours honestly dont get why women who have it all would even second guess this im so fucking pissed lmao ughh you dont deserve him!!! bye
If you r thinking of have any kind of relationship leave one before you start one. You r must likely just bored and gym dude is probably a player. There was a guy that worked in the same place as I with Sox 300 employees. He had relationships with several women there married women old young did not matter and I remember looking at him and wondering what it was then one day he madea move on me a woman old enough to be his mom and I found it was a numbers game he hit on
So many some paid off
Switch gyms or there’ll be trouble mark my words
Don’t feel bad for having thoughts or ideas. But I wouldn’t go any further with them. There is nothing like the relationship you currently have. I would try to reconnect with your husband.
This is actually normal. It’s more common than ppl think.
That said, be honest with yourself. If you think it’ll lead to a problem or even think it could lead to a problem, switch gyms.
In the meantime, reconnect with your husband, emotionally. Talk to him if you feel something is missing.
It’s nice being noticed by someone other than our partners and remember that we are infact beautiful especially being with someone for such a long period of time, as long as you don’t act on it honestly there is no harm in having a crush. Take that energy like suggested and do something with your hubby to remember that as much as the compliment was nice you have a family and truly do love your husband
So how do U want to be helped?Priss …
You need to stop going to that gym. Good men are hard to find!!!
It sounds like you have a crush largely because this man is crushing on you. It’s new, fresh, and seems fun. It’s understandable. But acting on it could destroy everything you have and have long-term negative effects on your kids.
Schedule a weekly date night with your husband. Do new, fun things or things you two love but haven’t done in ages. It’s highly likely that you got caught up in the daily grind that is work and kids. Rekindle what you have.
Did you tell him your married, or did you have a ring on, if you wear your ring and allowed this “interaction” to happen.he has absolutely no respect for you and is probably a gym rat that likes the chase and a new conquest…turn that energy to your husband…
I think whatever he made you feel is something your husband is lacking in showing you and maybe you could talk to your husband not about you thinking of the other man but how the gym guy you no how he made you feel maybe talk to your husband and say you want to feel differently I want to feel this away and you don’t make me feel like that and see how he takes it and maybe he might start showing you that thing that’s missing between yall if it was excitement or the way this other man spoke to you maybe you liked it and your husband talks differently but he could do the same thing if he new what you wanted and since yall been together for long time maybe try changing things up could be the things you talk about or in the bedroom or the way you talk to each other there’s gotta be something different that stood out to you and it’s not something your husband does or you wouldn’t feel like you did never no your husband might surprise you
Switch gyms. Reconnect with your husband. Run in the opposite direction and think about how you would feel if the tables were turned
Watch the movie Temptation by Tyler perry. Bet you won’t wanna cheat anymore! lol but seriously I mean r.u.b one out and keep moving. Then try to focus on bringing the spice back in the bedroom with your husband. Maybe plan a getaway or even a date night without the kids. Remember the 80/20 rule. don’t lose your 80, chasing the 20. If none of that helps the fantasy subside, then you’ll just need to switch gyms.
Take a deep breath & get over it. You are married!
It’s harmless unless you act on it
Maybe you have been lacking attention or feel you do . Made you feel good about yourself again. Tell the guy at the gym your flattered , but your in a marriage. Tell your husband guys are complimenting you at the gym. When we are all caught up in marriages the fire burns out. I’m sure alot of women love the compliments when we aren’t getting it at home , and thats ok.
No need to change gyms.
Opening a door that’s gonna be hard to close. Find another gym and don’t read into it so much.
Don’t do it, it would be a horrible mistake.
Well, maybe you should separate from your husband to have time for yourself if you are having these thoughts
Throw on some sexy lingerie and do stuff around the house, have him watch you if that’s your kink. Tell him you like his attention
You want attention. Ask your husband. Reach out to him. Find the spark.
Normal behavior at this point in your marriage, its up to you how you deal with it.
Having another man think you are beautiful makes you feel giddy but you are growing fond. Growing fond of someone can lead to things you may regret. Don’t let it get into your head to much.
It’s just a crush. You should’ve straight up told him sorry I’m married. How would you feel if your husband felt this way?
Change gyms, and reconnect with hubby. Think how you would feel is the tables were turned. There will always be people who we are attracted too, and are attracted to us, but if you meant your vows, remember them - forsaking all others. Change gyms.
Let the guy from the gym be your sex fuel with your husband. I know a lot of people picture other people in their heads, it might help… oh, and avoid gym guy from now on, you don’t want to lead him on and make it aquard every time you go workout or risk hurting you’re family over it.
It’s lust something new that seems exciting and fun but it’s not worth it
Have your husband play the sexy stranger that hitting on you. It’s simple that the guy made you feel young and wanted. Now if your husband pretended to play into your fantasy and hit on you like he didn’t know you you’d feel like dam he’s still trying to earn what he already had
Um… ur gonna ruin ur own kids in same way if ur husband find out.
I don’t think you would like if we all found out who your husband was just to have an affair… if you have a good man by your side I would rethink what your about to do to your husband and children
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. If you water your own lawn it will be just as green. Attention is always nice but it’s never worth throwing away a life you’ve built with someone. Reconnect with the hubby, make him feel the way the gym guy makes you feel and I’m sure your hubby will in turn make you feel the same. Tailgate with the hubby about what you need or want for him to make you feel that way. The disk tends to dim as you grow together and get comfortable but it takes two to keep it going. My hubby and I make time to reconnect at lay twice a year or when we feel like we’re neglecting each other. 15 years and he’s still the one. If it gets boring, we spice it up. You have to communicate needs to each other
Totally normal to fantasize about what you don’t have. I’m sure your husband does it as well. Anyone has the ability to cheat, being a faithful partner is knowing that and not acting on it.
Water the grass on your own lawn.
If you love your kids you will not act on this and risk tearing their family apart.
Honestly it just happens sometimes. Your brain cannot make up faces so it uses the faces of people you’ve seen in passing, or that you’ve seen in your day to day life. You’re probably crushing on him cuz he’s crushing on you. But if you are happy with ur marriage and ur life then just tell the gym guy your not interested because you already have a family. And I would make some time to spend a lil extra time with hubby. Just know it’s 100 percent normal. It happened to me a couple times. I had a very VIVID sex dream about my husbands best friend while I was pregnant and I was mortified. But I told my husband what happened and did some research and sure enough it wasn’t cuz I was attracted to him it was because my brain had just picked him because he’d been visiting the house recently to hang out with my husband. You’re doing great honey!
Do not take a risk. You could lose everything It sounds like you and hubby have a good marriage. Don’t blow it. It is not worth it. Keep it in mind…You have a beautiful, loving family. Stay away from him. There must not be much to him if he is willing to go after a married woman with kids.
Do the right thing…find a new gym, appreciate and take care of what you have.
Grass is greener on the other side….trust me, it’s not….stop going to that gym….it’s a fantasy, a temporary charge…your flattered, move on into reality….wonder how many times he says that during his gym visits….don’t do it💯
You’re lucky enough to have a good man, some of us aren’t that lucky. And if you cheat on him neither u or anyone else will have that man you have bc he will completely change after he finds out u cheated.
Yes he finds you attractive but that could be it. It will be your relationship is over and this guy didn’t want you he just wanted your body…then what?
I mean men fantasize about other women(porn,etc) so I don’t see the difference. I’d be using this to my advantage and taking it out on my husband. It’ll make y’all stronger.
Man, y’all quit trippin. She asked for advice not judgement. You say you’re happy so let it be a fantasy. You’re human; you have feelings and attractions, both of which don’t automatically go away upon saying"I Do". I would change gyms though.
Just remember not always what you see or perceive is real! Saw show last night not sure think 48 hours, guy turned out to be a murderer who was charming & very charismatic as gym coach!
Go ahead and ruin what good of a marriage/relationship you have if you want. You’ll have a hard time finding someone like the great husband you claim you have now.
It’s okay to have crushes shit were human as long as you don’t cross the line and be physical then you’re not doing anything wrong
Do not risk loosing your family
No need to change gyms, youre an adult…just put a stop to it and don’t interact with him. Give it a week or 2 and he’ll be hitting on the next girl. Fantasizing is normal but can lead to bad things if u let it. U clearly are lacking some attention from your husband and need to communicate with him so he knows what you want/need. Also…its totally normal to feel flattered when someone else compliments you. Just end it at that, say you’re happily married and move on. These things never end well and 99% of the time the guy is full of red flags and as u get to know him you’ll discover he sux ass anyway. Water the grass u have.
Hes not worth ruining your kids life forever stop think about your kids.my 4 kids lives were ruined because there dad chose to play around.dont do it.you would be breaking s 5 of them in the end u will have a broken heart and maybe he has family.dont do it
Flattering as it may be to have someone tell you that you are attractive it may be that he says the same thing to a lot of women with hopes of scoring. You say cheating is not an option but your thinking about it is in a way dangerous. Every time you think of this man remember how devastated your three kids would be to have to choose between you and your husband.
Devils a liar girl. Runnn
It’s Satan. Run if you want to keep your happy family!!! Think, uncloud your judgement, PASS THE TEST!! God bless
Just dream; don’t compromise your life
You might just be thinking about it because you were flattered. It is nice to receive compliments and know that other’s are attracted to you. I personally wouldn’t risk my relationship for that. But, everyone is different. If there aren’t any major problems in your relationship and you were happy before this occurred, I would say just smile about it and move on.
Maybe go find another gym
Everyone’s so serious. It’s a fantasy. Let the woman fantasize, for crying out loud! Ain’t no doubt about that her hubby has had a fantasy or two.
It’s normal to fantasize about what happened. I would definitely change gyms, you will forget about him eventually. Don’t risk ruining what you have. It’s never worth it for a moment of pleasure.
Remember it’s not always greener on the other side. Stay with your husband and kids by the way it sounds he is a great father and husband don’t ruin a good thing.
…if he was that brazen he probably has a microp3n!s and can’t satisfy you. We should all feel very sad for him…
Seriously though? I had a communications professor tell me this. You have two buckets. You have say 20 coins. Your husband, until now, has put all of these coins in his bucket. With his love of you, his compliments, being a good husband and father ect. But ooo la la a random stranger comes and you stole a coin from your husband’s bucket and threw it in this strangers bucket… then you fantasized and stole more and more and more… pretty soon you’ll have stolen all of what makes you your husbands amazing wife and mother and given it all to a stranger. Why? Because he was new and exciting? That’s how cheating begins. Suggestion? Make yourself forget about him. The next time he comes over, tell him you are married and you’ll report him to the gym if he continues the harassment. Stop him before he gets too far in your head because you’ve already started fraying the rope that holds your family together. Mend it before it’s broken.
Do not change gyms, that is your place to have time to yourself. Feel the emotion & let it go …how would you feel if your husband were in your shoes? If a female had his curiousity? Its normal to feel that rush or pheromones and it happens to a lot of People …just dont act on it. Go to the gym, mind your own and if he advances tell him to piss off respectively like the boss you are.
He could be saying the same thing to other women as well. He doesn’t seem to care, you are married, it’s not worth it, look for another gym
A little attention and your inner-hoe comes out?
You should leave him, he deserves better.
The fact that you say you “adore” your husband over any other strong bonding word…
Change gyms for a start and dont wreak what you have the grass is not greener on the other side
Understandable. Maybe you’re lacking attention at home. That’s why it’s exciting. You’re human, You have feelings, but spend extra time with your husband to take your mind off of another man.
I was married for 31 years and left my ex-husband for many other reasons, not a man. I never allowed myself to get into a situation where I would feel that way. You need to tell him you are married and if he continues any pursuit, he’s not a man that you would want anyway.
It sounds like you are happily married but maybe you would like some more attention/compliments from your husband. Let him know what you need and I’ll bet he gives it. Get the spark back in your marriage.
Here’s my advice - just stop.
Stop fantasizing. I’m sure you’d hate hearing your man say this.
Well as a guy. If the same had happened to me. I would go to another gym and make sure that’s the end of it. If you’re “fanasizing” about this then it sounds like you’ve doing to much already in the negative. How would you feel if the same had ahppened to your husband and this is how he felt and then you found out about it. It would probably hurt you a little bit. Let it go and move on. Your husband deserves better that this
It’s emotionally and mentally cheating on your husband
Don’t entertain any one else
Try imagining if the tables were turned and it was your husband crushing over a girl instead. I know some say switching gyms is extreme but by the way it sounds like this is taking up a lot of space in your head you know you’d most likely be flattered by getting his attention and would be looking at him a lot and I’m guessing probably behind your husbands back and to me that stuff right there is the devils work. I would completely remove that situation, put more effort into your husband, maybe start hiking together locally now that it’s warming up and eventually you’ll stop thinking about that dude checking women out at the gym (you know you’re probably not the only one) and keep your marriage and family in tact. No judgement at all, but you know what you need to do girl
I would talk with your husband about it, open communication is the best policy. Having a fantasy or feeling a boost of confidence is normal. And having the conversation with your husband about it might help the guilty feeling. Maybe he’ll be understanding
Leave that gym situation.
And leave it at a fantasy and stop talking to him asap
Switch gyms and don’t go back to the other one
Try to get your mind off the man you met at the gym you wouldn’t want to crush husband now would you
Knowing that you are married and still flirt with you ,he have no values and no respect for you and your marriage
It ain’t worth it. It’s only LUST. Coming from a older gentleman.
How would you feel if your own husband got excited if a woman charmed him?
Either change gyms or the time you go.
You think your husband has never had ego boosting interactions with other attractive women and possibly thought of them the same way that youve been thinking of your gym husband? I say just get a grip bro. Feel flattered, let it go. If another man hitting on you can make you this crazy, maybe you arent getting what you want and need from your husband so this man’s compliments are causing you to over think and over feel. Maybe reflect on your marriage and talk to your husband about how you arent getting your needs/wants met.
Ps i dont mean crazy like psycho, i meant like driving you crazy/excited