I feel alienated and shunned by my family

When I got married a few years ago, I invited all of my family. But no one came, except my father and step mother. Even though my family lives less than 30 minutes from where I live. It was a very relaxed. We wanted people to come and enjoy themselves, verses making people be uncomfortable or feel they had to dress up. My husband and I had both been married before. So our service was more for enjoyment than for hype. Well my sister got married recently and my ENTIRE family went. It was over 2 hours away from where they live. My aunt, uncle, multiple cousins, their spouses, and all of their kids went as well. Her service was large, expensive, and her first marriage.
Years ago I had a falling out with my step mother and she can’t keep her mouth shut (which was part of the reason for the falling out). I am sure she has drug my name through the mud with all of family, without a second thought. I have been told by family members some of the things she says and it makes my blood boil. My aunt and my step mother are close. I feel that’s the reason the entire family went to my sister’s wedding and skipped mine. This is a VERY short version of the long story that has unfolded over the last 8 years between my step mother and myself.
I am having trouble letting these feelings of betrayal go and moving on. My family has never been close and I’ve always felt like an outsider. Even though we lived close, I was never invited to any family functions. I don’t feel as though I can trust them and I feel as though it’s time to cut them out of my life for good. But is that too drastic? Am I overreacting? Was it an honest mistake? I overthink everything and I may be doing it again. This is something I can’t come back from or take back if I do it. Maybe it’s best I just keep my distance and let things fall where they may. Advice?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel alienated and shunned by my family

I would keep a happy distance, enjoy the life you have made with your husband, families are strange things and unfortunately, it’s the one thing you can’t choose in life! Don’t make the ‘cut off’ an official, out in the open thing, but do it subconsciously. Sorry that you are going through this, it’s hard, but if you don’t include them in things, you have less expectations that they will let you down. X

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Youll probably find that if you distance yourself and dont bother trying to contact them then noone will probably bother back so it will naturally be a cut off rather than some big fall out about telling them you’re doing it.

First of all… how can dragging your name through the mud for 8years be an ‘honest mistake’
2nd… these are GROWN ADULTS capable of making decisions about who to believe or what side to pick!
Clearly they didn’t pick you!
3rd… why do you CARE?! cut them off! It sounds like your better off without them anyway!
They sound petty and toxic… if NO ONE has reached out to you to hear you out or ask you how you feel about the situation… then quite frankly you don’t need these people in your life
Move on be happy and cut toxic shit out of your life… ! :heart: