My mom always made me and my siblings change schools every 2-3 years, and my daughters have gone to the same school district since they started school. My husband and I finally, after all these years, got a loan for a home but finding a home big enough for us in our school district are nearly impossible. All of the houses are pending or become pending as soon as we contact our realtor about them. There are 7 of us with my husband’s parents. My oldest daughter is about to start 10th grade, and I don’t want to make her go to another school district after this being her only one all these years. I feel terrible for looking for houses outside of the district. How would you feel if your only option was to do this?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel bad changing my childs school district: Advice?
Your school district doesn’t offer a School of Choice option? Where you can attend from outside the district?
Have you asked her how she feels about it? She may not mind and you may be worrying without needing too. My kids have switched schools 3 times and don’t care at all, even knowing they will probably be switching at least 1-2 more times.
Also most schools have an option to apply out of district
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You can put in a request to go out of your district. My mom did that for me because I transferred my senior year. I had a job in the district so my mom used that to help. Best of luck to you guys! 
We’re a military family and move often. Trust me, kids will adjust.
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Life happens & you have to do what’s best for your entire family. She will adjust and be fine even though me may think it’s the end of the world.
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Some schools offer an option for kids that have attended since grade school & move out of the district just call them & ask. If not best of luck talking with your kids!
Not sure where you’re located, but I’ve been looking for a bigger house for about a year now, and the housing market is very much a “seller’s market.” Not many people are selling, but there’s still a lot of people buying. So, house prices are very, very inflated. Zillow says that the house I bought 15 years ago, is worth about $100,000 more than I paid for it. It’s a GREAT time to sell, but a HORRIBLE time to buy. Just something to consider.
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Does her school have open enrollment?
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School choice she should be able to stay in her school if your move is within reason
My husband and I moved our son who was starting 10th grade at the time from NYC to Texas 3 years ago . Not only did we leave his school and friends we also left all family behind . We were worried . I felt like a horrible mom But he understood that we just wanted to give him more than what we had at that moment such as a house , backyard etc.
He adjusted and graduated with no problem .
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I’d ask your older kids. For all you know this will be a break they feel they need.
I understand but it not like you’ve moved your kids from school to school over the years. As a renter I’ve refused to move out of my kids district for that exact reason because I wanted them to have stability but when I buy a house that’s different. They know our options where we are are slim and it’s a very strong possibility they are gonna have to transfer. They are fine with it because it’s always been an open discussion and they know people move for better opportunities and they’d rather have a house then stay at the same school
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You could ask she transfer back into her current district. You’ll have to transport but at least here they allow it.
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My parents moved me from VA to NH my sophomore year of high school. Honestly I hated it at the time, but quickly made friends and enjoyed my time up here as well. Now at 30, I realized it was the right decision they made.
Is it possible to keep her in your current district if you drive her? I know some areas do school of choice & others don’t. Worth looking into though.
If you should move. Would she be able to drive or catch a ride to finish out her high-school years? How does she feel about the move? She might be fot it
Open enrollment for the rest of high school if she wants. She’s could drive her last years.
If it’s possible just drive her to school but also talk to her too and see how she’ll feel abt moving schools too
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I’m in the same boat. Don’t give up hope and keep on looking. Talk to her about it and see how she feels about possibly changing schools
Ask her what she thinks. We have school of choice here, when we first moved I drove my kids to school for half a year. With issues we had we decided to switch to the closer school.
See if school districts have open enrollment
I’m probably going to sound like an A word but I personally would still move and still change schools unless you can drive her to school or she can catch a ride with a friend so she can stay in the same school. Life isn’t always how you expect it to be and you just gotta do what you gotta do.
If driving her isn’t an option and she can’t catch a ride with a friend then she’s just going to have to change schools
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My niece used her friend’s address for enrollment and my sister drove her junior and senior year. Not saying it’s ideal but it worked.
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We did and no regrets
What do your children think?
Definitely talk to the kids and see how they feel about it. So often we make choices for our children without getting their input. When they’re little it’s OK for the most part, but when they’re older they like to be included, give them the whole story, the big picture they just may surprise you
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Maybe talk to the school and see if your daughter can stay, just might mean you’ll have to drive her every morning as most busses only drive in the district. Hope you have a positive outcome 
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You could talk to the 2 Districts and see if you can do a choice option as long as you can get the kids to school on time every morning you should be fine if they offer that option.
Long story short. I did it. She hated it. I hated it. We went back to our home district. Still here. Shes a 11th grader now. We will move out of state after she graduates. I also have twins starting kindergarten this yr.
Kids are resilient, she’ll adapt.
I attended 6 schools in 12 years. That was in the 70’s & 80’s. I struggled terribly to get through my school years. Bullying was terrible. Especially for girls. I transferred high schools my 10th grade year. It was very difficult. Kids are much worse today. Unfortunately, your family is in a predicament
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Sometimes they have open enrollment. So maybe look into that and see if she can still attend that school.
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I 100% agree with you. My parents moved me to a whole other STATE my SENIOR YEAR! I was pissed and it really held on to me for a few years. It sucked. Having to make new friends when that should be the best year of high school. Please try and stay in same state…and nearby…so she can still see her friends and possibly try and get a variance for her to stay at her school and just drive her to school or arrange rides for her so she can finish out her few.more years with her friends.
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I moved at the end of tenth grade and I drop out at the new school is there a address u can u a friend another family member address in that district and u can transport her i know she proable more mature then I was but if I didn’t move I would of graduated on time but went to a knew achool.made friends with the wrong people and dropped out but this year I’m 38 in just graduate from high school last month
Sounds like you will still be in the area so she can still see her friends fairly easily. My kids had so many different friend groups from school to scouts, to soccer/sports teams, to Church to neighborhood friends growing up. The kids all went on to private, magnet, charter, Catholic, or alternative schools as well as the public middle and high schools, but they all were able to keep up with their own existing friends even as they made new ones.
And who knows? They might welcome the chance to start fresh and show a different side of themselves to people who don’t know them.
With a new home and school, try to keep as much else the same as you can for a year. Have them focus on the advantages and stay positive yourself. Your attitude will rub off on them. How will they decorate/arrange their new rooms? Will there be more room for sleepovers? Is there a back yard for a garden or a pet or a fire pit? Is there a cool feature (view, secret staircase, bigger kitchen, better wifi, whatever) that the Realtor can tell you?
Is there a better shot of making a team or activity at the new school (if it’s smaller), or will there be more classes/programs/activities to enjoy (if it’s larger)? Are there more or bigger/longer parks, bike paths, hangouts, kids their ages in the new neighborhood? Will you be closer to parks, gardens, trails, ice cream shops, pizza places, pools, skate parks or whatever they might enjoy?
Your kids will be fine. Just figure out how to facilitate time with their old friends once you move. I live in the DC area and though I never moved I had to make new friends every year because of all the military, diplomatic, State Department, World Bank, International, Peace Corps families and others who moved in and out frequently. Kept in touch with the closest ones as they moved around the world for decades through today as a senior adult.
Be joyful!
We are in the same situation ours are 12 10 and 3 so we are trying very hard bc we love thier school and its small only about 90 kids per grade. She’s almost old enough to drive so is driving her an option. Everyone saying they adapt ya sometime but in the 10th grade its harder bc everyone already has thier friend groups. I would def talk to her bc maybe she don’t care but if she does def try to stay there or close
Kids are resilient! We moved our kids and they adjusted fine. You have to do what’s best for the entire family. I’m sure they are excited about a house right?
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Where do you live? In Florida we have school of choice. As long as there is room and you can provide transportation a kid can go to any school.
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Drive her to school I did with my daughters they were in high school and established
If you can take ur children to and from school u may not have to change. Where I live u can request to go to another school in or out of the county. This would help if u don’t want to move them. If it would not be that much trouble to and from. Then u can check for houses outside the district. Just ask, and here the funds just transfer to what school they attend. No cost, public school. Of course u still spend a lot for all the other things. Good luck!
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Right now, you are going to have a problem buying a house anywhere. Where I live, we’ve been offered money and our house isn’t even for sale. Don’t uproot your children…It affects them like it did me when I moved so much.
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Around her age, I got my first job and stayed pretty busy with school, church, activities, employment, and a boyfriend. I think her life might take a shift anyways around this time. My daughter lost her graduation, prom, soccer season, her job, and end of her senior year to the pandemic. She was devastated so I told her to go to the grocery store and see if they were hiring. They kept her busy and it helped a lot. That being said, look into school choice options in that district. Maybe she would rather do early college or a charter or vocational school which would focus her on what she is getting out of the school rather than just being focused on the hard transition. I run a middle college program for our district at the university and most of my students are military dependents. They seem to be okay with trying something new and different and many come out at graduation as sophomores in college.
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Just get an inner district transfer for your high schooler. Starting over for the younger ones should be fine. The high schooler will be difficult
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Open enrollment if they are close my nephew goes to the next town over
You could drive her or let her drive herself? Idk if she can drive let
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If close by can you just drive them to school? You could do it with “school of choice” or if your parents are going to continue living in the home you’re in now you could just not change the address with the school. Yes it’s lying but where I’m from, you do what you gotta do in order to get your kid into a good school.
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You don’t have an option of doing an inter district transfer for at least her, your 10 grader? I’m sure the commute will be hard but if it means that much you should consider it. She is of driving age too
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I just moved my kids 90 miles from everything they know (school, friends, family, etc). They are actually excited for the new adventure of a new school. They are 6th and 4th grade though, so a bit of a age difference. If you can find a place close enough, try to do school choice if it’s offered in your area. The house we found was on the market for less than a day when we put our offer in on it. Luckily, it was accepted and things went smoothly, but it can be tough. Good luck!!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel bad changing my childs school district: Advice?
Your kids should be taught to not be ungrateful that you can afford a nice big house for everyone
I moved schools every year or second year until 9th grade (14yrs old). It was rough and I definitely don’t want that for my son. But, I think buying a home for you all - which will provide security, financial relief (I know our mortgage ended up being cheaper than most rentals) and a bunch of other benefits is a good reason to have to move schools. Kids are pretty resilient and so long as you find a good school in your new district I wouldn’t stress too much. I absolutely understand the guilt, I know how much I want to avoid this situation for my son. But I think you need to weigh the long term benefits against the short term disappointments.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel bad changing my childs school district: Advice?
Ask for a school permit so she can stay where she’s at. If dropping her off is not a problem.
You could always explain the situation to the school shes at and they might let her still continue at that school… It’s always worth a try…
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If its not too far out of the area u can possibly drive her to school… I moved and kept my kids in the same school because they have been in that school district since they started school and didn’t want to leave so I kept them where they were
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I wouldn’t feel bad…We need a comfortable place for all of us to live…I would just make sure she was able to keep those connections outside of school.
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Is school choice available? If you find a house close enough she can still attend and you can ask one of her grandparents to drive her & pick up.
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My mom moved me school to school. I hated it. Im shocked at how many people are okay uprooting their children .it was horrible. We moved from my kids district. We did an interdistrict transfer and kept them in their school. I have yo drive them. But id never do that to my kids 
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I dont know how your years work in the US, but year 10&11 are our last years before clany further education (college etc…) could you not wait til she finishes school? Or as some have said try and keep her where she is? If we move in the UK we don’t have to move schools.
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I went to a school out of district when I moved back to my mom’s in the county. Usually you pay a fee, from my understanding, but I think I used my old address to continue to go. I don’t remember much since that’s been 15 years ago 
I really hate the district out here and my daughter’s going to my childhood elementary school and wished districts weren’t a thing for schools.
Kids adjust, do what you need to in order to better your family. The kids will have an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. It will be fine
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As a teacher, I see my fifth graders plucked out of school mid year without any notification to the student. I believe that keeping kids at the same school is a better option. I had to take out my son out his first school which was a private school and had to put him in a public school in fourth grade. We moved clear across the city. His shock came more from the difference in types of school. He acclimated fine. However, I would NOT do this to him again. I believe those four years of high school are important and staying is essential. Like others have mentioned, maybe an interdistrict transfer can be sought.
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Which district do you want to try and stay in? Maybe we will sell our house to you 
never know ! 
On that note my sister-in-law’s realtor actually went around with flyers in a couple different neighborhoods that my sister-in-law wanted to move into to keep her daughter in a school district.
What I mean is that some people might be willing to sell their house but just don’t have it up for sale 
Some schools have open enrollment where she might be able to stay in the district she is currently in.
Ask the school for a transfer paperwork and fill it out. Usually the only thing you will have to do if she continues going to her school is to drive her there and pick her up because buses won’t go outside their district to pick up or drop off students. That’s how it is in my state if a student out of district wants to continue going to that school.
Talk to the school board about an intra-district transfer.
That would allow her to finish out her last two years at her old school, but you will be responsible for her transportation to and from school.
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My boys were “grandfathered in” because they went there since kindergarten so now I just drive them the extra 40 miles
Talk to her before you move. Maybe she’d be more okay with it than you think. I wouldn’t have minded a fresh start when I was in high school. HS kids can be brutal if you don’t fit in enough
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As a child and teenager I moved around a lot and went to a lot of different schools. I think as 14/15 year old she would understand I’m sure may be a little bit being upset because those are her friends but all in all it’s your decision
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I’d see about paying the fee to keep her there and figuring it out on how her to and from school. It sucks that you can’t find something in her district and as a PARENT, I understand, but as someone who was her age 10 years ago and my parents would’ve done what a lot of other parents suggested and say just uproot her, SHE shouldn’t have to take on the burden of adult problems, she didn’t ask for this, nor is it her fault that the cards aren’t playing right that there’s no houses in the district, if you have the means and ability to do what you can to let her stay at her current school, (ie: you’re not moving out of state) then do it.
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I moved around alot as a teenager I regularly went thru the akward introduction phase of all the schools I made at least one life long friend that I speak to today. It’s really up to them to keep the contact those friends can hang on weekends and summers facetime things like that don’t feel bad you have to have a roof over your heads. She will understand and if her friends are worth keeping she will keep them.
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I agree with all the above comments but have you also talked to your daughter about it and see how she feels, she might surprise you and understand the family’s predicament.
Study might be easier in a bigger house where she has more space of her own.
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I would just keep looking in my school district. Especially with my oldest in high school.
Horrible socially to change at that age
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As a child who went to 13 different schools i would say talk to her my parents never ask me how I felt about it. How do you think your child will adjust? I was always shy so making new friends was always hard for me but talk to your daughter and get her opion and then just follow your heart
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Id move. Maybe ask her if she’d mind going to a new school. I went to school to finish so I didn’t care when we moved.
I would hold strong and try to find a home in the area. I know it’s tough and not ideal. I’m just going off personal experiences. I moved schools at that age, 9th grade, and it changed my life, in a bad way. I was an A student, sweet kid, band girl but found acceptance in the “bad kids group” immediately. I ended up leaving band, shoplifting, skipping class, and even dropping out months before graduation. I changed completely trying to fit in, when I wasn’t sure how. I cried alot wanting to go back, but even meeting up with my old friends wasn’t the same.
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I wouldn’t like it either but you have to do what you have to do. Keep watching for something to pop up in your district. Ask in local groups if anyone is selling soon! It stinks for the kids but hopefully they can make new friends and keep in touch with their current ones if you have to leave.
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Sophomore year is rough. Starting over at the end of high school is the worst! I’d keep her there. Commute if its allowed. If not id wait.
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Sometimes you can get a variance to go to a different district than where you live, allowing her to stay at the same school.
Stay until something shows up. Be patient. My parents started moving every year or so after 7th grade. It was more than hard.
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She will get over it. I had been in 3 different districts my school life and was fine. Sucks making new friends (duh) but as long as you make an effort to help your kid maintain the current friendships they have, it’s literally fine. They may be ulset, but thats because they are teenagers lol
The nice thing is that with the internet and phones and things, moving to a neighboring school district isn’t the social death sentence it used to be. I think if you explained the benefits to her, and help facilitate ways for her to both spend time with her old friends and get more comfortable in the new school, it will be fine
If she is in the running for valedictorian I would move mountainside keep her at her school because at most schools you have to be there all four years to be in the running. If not she should be ok.
Change is Life ! She will not be with the same kids in college or employment. It happens. She should not be in charge where you live. As a Realtor I come upon this situation constantly. Kids do great and often love the new school more. It doesn’t mean she can’t keep in touch with old friends while making new friends.
Congratulations on finding a new home to make many memories and home ownership!
This happened to us and my kids were upset initially but after a few days they made amazing new friendships & it was the last move we would be doing because we were finally able to purchase .
I personally wouldn’t switch my kid after high school starts if I could avoid it. Can she be grandfathered or is there a way she can use someone else’s address to stay going there since she’s driving age?
My kids have been in a few different schools, its just how life went. They have made many friendships in each different location that they keep today! We live in a smaller town and lots of surrounding towns. My kids have friends 30 minutes away and friends a block away. They adjusted just fine to new schools and have never complained about it (and were happy about our moves) in today’s society moving around is more normal and kids stay connected via phones… I have no problem driving them 30 minutes to see a friend or help them stay connected to those they grew close to. I would say do whats best for the whole family and also see if you are able to opt into a different district than which you live. At her age she will stay connected to those close to her.
Check into school choice options. We had to move due to a flood but I was able to keep them in district as long as I covered transportation. I felt it was important for them to be able to graduate with their friends. They we sophomore and Junior in high school. My son graduated this year it was aeesome seeing the emotions of the kids who had gotten through it together forever
Have you reached out to the principle and seen if she can still attend ?? Is she able to get to school solo or can someone drive and pick her up? I moved 5 min from our now place and it’s a different school and the principle said as long as I drive her we are fine
She will drive soon. Don’t feel bad buy the house that suits the family and she will adjust
This isn’t really relevant to your question, but is there a reason your mom made you change schools?
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Our family moved for the second time. Different school districts but unfortunately my girls will be starting out in this district and hoping to be able to get them some friends
If you move to another district tell the school you want to keep her at the school some schools allow the child to stay. My daughter’s school we are far out of zone but the principal let her stay it’s been her first and only school
You’ve got to do what is best for your family as a whole. My parents moved us from Wisconsin to Texas when I was 13. I adjusted just fine.
Do they have inner zoning there? We live outside our school district I just inner zoned my daughter
We moved 4 hours north when the kids were 8,10 and 13. They soon make friends the decision is harder for us as adults over thinking consequences that probably wouldn’t happen. They settle in so quickly.
Are the houses going quick because you’re in the best school district? Something to factor… if that’s the case I’d say hold out for a home in your area. Get with a realtor and be ready to move the min they hit the market.
Well, if you want to go the route with keeping your kids in the same school, I would first house search around the area but the outer area. See how far away the house is from the school. If you’re willing to make the drive, maybe talk to the school about how you’re able to still enroll your child being outside of the district. I know in our case, my dad would have had to pay out of pocket money for my sister to go to their school because she was like 1 mile out of the district. If it’s worth it to you, I’d look into it.