Being together with your son sometimes is a good thing. It’s nice that you can get along and that your son sees that. I understand it can be uncomfortable for you and it’s okay to say no. Your son needs parents that love him and he has that. He doesn’t always need you two together especially if you are unhappy or uncomfortable. Taking care of your son means taking care of yourself too. Including mental health. If you want to do something with them then that’s nice but if you don’t then don’t feel bad.
I did this with my ex as well. Trying to be so unselfish and giving to my kids. Trying to support them and all it did was make me feel horrible inside. It was always strictly co parenting. It didn’t allow myself to set healthy boundaries …mentally and I felt uncomfortable becuz that relationship was not good.
It lead him on and I had no idea it was doing that. I was simply attending the brunch or beach outings so the kids didnt miss either of us. Guarding them to this level needs to stop. Respect his parenting time. It wont allow u to heal and it can hinder ur new relationship.
Its truly amazing that some people can co parent this way but because your relationship was hostile u need to also respect urself and keep distance. Its mentally draining. U matter. What’s happening is everything seems peachy and he is trying to get back with u. Once he knows its not going there his real colors will show. U left for a reason. Separate urself its ur guy telling u set boundaries. Those feeling of being uncomfortable and guilty will disappear.
My ex and I share three kids we r also both remarried and have kids. Our oldest just graduated highschool we do the big things together like grad parties. Birthdays and of course we will do weddings and grandkids things. His family and I are close so they will invite me and hubby and kids to events like bbqs.
Why does your ex want you along? That may inform your choices.
I’d feel the same as you…I would suggest that you include your SO to the casual outings since y’all have been together for 2 yrs, family outings should include the WHOLE family
3 Likes
And talk to your ex! He’s probably scared to parent solo and isn’t sure where to start. After 8 years and now a teenage child, my ex still calls me when our kid doesn’t feel good during their weekend. Lol It’s all new and much easier when everyone is open about new changes. Best wishes!
My ex and I have a very strong relationship now. We have been divorced 2 years. Our marriage was never meant to be but we decided to put our differences aside for our son. We still spend time together going hiking and out to dinners. We have both moved in to new relationships. We even took a trip to Disney together because it was our sons 1st time. I think as long as you make it clear it’s just for your son and not to rekindle a relationship it is fine
I was best friends and co-parented very well with my ex husband. He even rented out my basement for a bit. Wasn’t always easy, but we pulled it together for our children. I even paid for his memorial service when he passed away. The kids were more emotionally stable when they had us both to go for help.
Do what you feel is right at the time, It is so nice to see everyone get along. My son and his x and her new man go places and do things with their daughter and all get along so well it makes my heart sing. I am so proud. Show your son nothing is wrong and do your best to be fun, happy people for him.
My girls are in their 30’s and their dad invites my husband and I often to join them for dinner when they visit. He even pays dig we let him. Occasionally we go but mostly decline so he can spend that time with our daughters and grandsons. The early divorced years were hard but once my ex realized being friends was so much easier for us and the girls, we’re good. Taking the pressure off our kids so they don’t feel they have to choose is best for them. Just pick and choose when you say yes so he spends one on one time with him. Plus, when the girls come home it’s always to my house so they get more time with us. He shouldn’t be ignored.
Don’t go all the time. Make it a rare treat. If you feel that uncomfortable, don’t go. That’s his time with his kid. Don’t ever feel guilty. You deserve peace of mind.
It’s ok to move on. Your child should start getting used to spending time with each of you separately. Plus it will allow you to have some much needed alone grown-up time. Wish someone had told me sooner, It’s ok to take care of yourself too!
Go w ur gut. Too casual. Stick to pertaining to child only. Set example now,eventually u will have to tell him why people that hurt you can’t be in ur life or he may accept unacceptable. This way he learns to forgive not forget.
Do not go. That is time for him to spend with his son. Also disrespectful to your current relationship.
I have some what the same set up and yes I ask him out for casual breakfast outings and dinners. This has been going on since 14 years and my daughter who is now 16 has no mixed thoughts about it. Have boundaries and do what’s best for your child. Our child is with me since the beginning and all is fine thankfully. 
I would go to. It’s not about your health as much as it is your child’s. I wish this would have been my situation.
My spouse and his ex wife do stuff all the time we incorporate her new husband and me most of the time sometimes it’s just them sometimes it’s me and her and her oldest our two and my two(5 total) some times the guys take the boy and do “man things” my spouse takes all the girls on “dates” her new husband takes the girls out as well we “babysit” each others kids for dates we actually have a beautiful relationship that most people act like is weird but the kids just see their parents getting along and them coming first… My advice don’t feel guilty make sure your ex knows it’s for the kid and if you are serious with the new relationship have them involved also
There’s nothing wrong with being good co-parents! Still go on the outings when you feel you want to , just make it very clear your there for your child and that’s it
it’s ok to be friends but going out not ok unless your other is with you it’s just not right and you know this.
It’s called co-parenting. I go out to breakfast or lunch, to the park, fishing, etc with my ex and we’ve been broken up about two years or so as well. You need to get along for your child. It’s not wrong to do those things. Just do it once a month or every other weekend or whatever makes you feel comfortable. We’ve even taken our kids to a festival together. It’s nice to be a family unit. We know we’re not going to be together again. If you’re in another relationship, let it be known to him that he has no chance, you’re there for your son and don’t let him talk out of line or disrespect you. And if he can’t understand that, then don’t do it again.
You are so over thinking it’s not that serious go eat go to the game or the birthday party for your kid and kid only quit thinking dad wants so bad he’s meeting his girlfriend after you leave
It think if you guys can be social that is great…If you are your new man to than I wouldnt think your x is thinking that you guys will not be back together just showing your son that everyone can get along
Go with your gut feelings and don’t go, it’s good for your son to bond with his dad without you
Set example of setting healthy boundaries
Don’t go out with your ex and your child not rocket science
I would tell him that this is his time with his son and to enjoy…just the two of them😊
Birthdays are ok…the rest…not so much
Co parenting activities I think the term
What would you tell ur daughter to do?