I feel like a horrible mom. This is the second year I haven’t been able to do Christmas. Last Christmas, my child’s father, stole my wallet and spent every dime I had. I ended up losing my apartment and everything, and it was my son’s first Christmas with me, and his father separated. This year it just seems like everything is falling apart. I had a baby got a new job, but then my car decided to break down. I’ve paid $2000 on parts for my car, and I’m still waiting to get my car back. (I work an hour away) It doesn’t look like my kids will be having Christmas yet again. I know Christmas is not all about presents, but it hurts knowing that my son will see that everyone else got presents from Santa but him. I’m just a horrible mom. My son came to me the other night crying because he didn’t want Santa to forget him this year. It broke my heart. I tried so hard to save this year for Christmas to let my son down again. I just don’t know what to do. I haven’t been able to sleep. My son’s father doesn’t pay his child support, and he decided to go to rehab recently. I’ve asked his wife if she could talk to him and maybe find a way to get our son a few gifts, and she just ignored me. I seriously feel like I’ve ruined my son’s experience with Christmas. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Please keep it to kind and helpful words. I already feel horrible as it is and don’t need other moms telling me how much of a horrible parent I am. just think about how you’d want someone to be towards you in you were walking in my shoes.
I’m not sure where you live, but in my county, I have been seeing a lot of posts about toys for tots being extended. Maybe try to contact your dad and ask them if you can still apply.
Dollar tree has alot of stuff
Maybe go to churches & ask
Do you have a 5below around you ? You can get a couple gifts from there doesn’t have to be anything extravagant… just a few toys under a the tree. They have some decent toys!
Toys for tots or churches are probably your best options.
Clearly you aren’t heartbroken after last year otherwise you would have done EVERYTHING in your power to ensure that it didn’t happen this year too
Is there no charity around you that helps with this? No church or community service centre or something?
When I was a single mom and couldn’t afford Christmas, I was able to access a service that provided me with a hamper of food and also I was given some gifts to give my children.
Alternatively, is there a dollar store or something where you could pick up something really small?
For future I always start buying gifts in like August. One or two here and there adds up by December and doesn’t put such a financial strain. For this year i agree with other posts, try toys for tots or even second hand stores depending on your childs age.
Reach out to your community and churches. When my husband passed away we had a secret Santa show up at our house. They were 6 and 8 at the time. Prayers for you and your family and remember memories don’t cost a dime!!!
Go to a community center or a church and talk to them. Many churches are affiliated with st Vincent de Paul and they give to families
Local churches toys for tots salvation army places like that will help
The ymca helps a lot of families in need
You could always buy stuff from dollar stores he won’t notice the difference being so young but atleast he’ll have memories to keep as he gets older in photos don’t feel bad you have what you need at this very moment a roof over your head and warm meals. Your child(ren) will understand in the long run
Be honest and reach out to friends and family and you may be surprised who is willing to help you with a few things for your kiddos. Don’t be scared to reach out to those that love you and your kids.
Churches, County agencies, Toys for tots and Dollar store for filler!!
If last year was your son’s first Christmas, he seems like he would be too young this year still to truly understand? And the baby doesn’t know any different yet. Get a few small things from Dollar Tree and make it a big deal. Christmas doesn’t have to be huge elaborate gifts. Share with them your love and show them the excitement & they too will have it.
Go to the dollar store and get things you already need like oven mitts a can of chilli or just anything and wrap them up your kid will be thrilled when he can open presents and cook or clean with you. I have had to do this for several Christmases when I was recovering from severe medical problems and no one was paying any child support and I couldn’t work
Karon Sutton it seems like all you do is get on here and put people down and make them feel worse than they already do you must be a pretty miserable motherfuker to only want to hurt people and say rude things to them you’re obviously not a mom or you wouldn’t be saying such horrible things to people
Maybe consider traditions not encompassed around gifts???
Our family will be decorating a tree outside with lots of ornaments designed to feed our year round birds and critters.
Krista Yates… First Christmas with her
You can go to the dollar store with $10 and get your son 10 things, so that he does not feel forgotten. There’s always a way to make it happen.
I would go and talk to some churches. Is there angel tree program there? Reach out to people. Don’t be embarrassed. Your a single mom.
Toys for.tot is always good. Or i go to biolife and donate plasma its not alo but it would at least get your kid 1 or 2 presents and if you go to goodwill toys are super cheap
Do you have any FB groups for the town you live in? I’m sure if you post in one of them your community would help you. Even local churches donate presents to people in need. You just need to reach out for help when you need it
Take your son to a homeless shelter and let him volunteer to feed them! Stop feeling like if he has no gifts Christmas is ruined, be a blessing
A lot of churches will have some sort of financial assistance for Christmas
Try discount stores like dollar tree etc
Could even try to set up a gofundme for Christmas funds; it doesn’t have to be anything crazy, even 100$ is a lot for kids when they’re young ( clothes, small toys, candy )
If you are not to proud to ask for help there are people who would help. Call churches in your area. Also any elementary school counselor in your area may be able to help or put you in contact with others willing to help . Ignore the mean comments. You are not a bad mother!!! You are doing the best you can. Also check with the Red Cross or social services in your area if you can’t find a church to help. Ask for just a couple presents each for the kids and maybe stuff to bake and decorate cookies together and food if you need it . I will be praying for you momma things will get better don’t give up. Those babies of yours need you. You got this!!!
Go to local churches they might help post on local buy and sell sites some people will want to help at least where I am I’ve seen it alot
Christmas isn’t a requirement but I completely get it. Go to tj max and find small stuff. Big lots had toys buy in get one half off. Goodwill. Post on fb asking for toys no one needs anymore.
Next year you can buy gift cards for $25 a check and then Christmas comes and you can have that to spend
For next year try buying small things starting in January. I know that obviously doesn’t help you this year, but it helps out for next year. Even if you buy a gift card for 10 dollars every pay and when Christmas comes go shopping with them. Maybe go to the dollar store and buy some things there for this year, some small things are better than nothing. I’m sure your child would appreciate it.
I realize that there’s no sense saying what you should have done, but having a baby when you were in such a precarious financial situation and just lost your home wasn’t a good decision, but accidents do happen I suppose (not to say your baby is an accident, lol.) Going into the new year, trying to focus on making better life choices and budgeting, etc.
But that isn’t helpful regarding Christmas now. A kid just wants presents… literally go to the dollar store, 5 below or even wrap used toys/books. We as parents put more pressure on ourselves than what kids expect. Also reach out to churches and FB groups, Freecycle, etc and get some gently used items.
I’m not sure where you are from but where I’m from on Facebook we have groups that help with that (mommy groups or lifting up groups) there is so many welling to help or pm me maybe I can help you figure it out
Just get one thing if possible and make cocoa and movies doesn’t have to be a big thing
Spend like $20 at the dollar store on toys, coloring books, etc. he’s so young, he doesn’t know or care how much things cost, kids just want things to rip open! You could even go to Goodwill they always have tons of gently used toys, they will be new to him. You are not a horrible mom!! Holidays are tough don’t be too hard on yourself!
Go to one of your "Women’s Centers " in town. They can advise you or give you names of organizations that help kids have a good Christmas. BY the way, your ex knows what he is doing to you, even at the expense of your son. Be glad you are free of him!
If u have a way to get a loan go for it . Jackson Hewitt offers one starting on the 18th and h and r has one as well . Unfortunately your going to have people who have rude comments but ignore them since their mad about their own life . Your a momma I’m sure you can figure it out that’s what makes us super moms !!
I’m just hoping I have my boys for Christmas, we have a custody hearing Tuesday. My ex has had them for a month and hasn’t let me see or talk to them. I have a protection order against him.
going through the same thing but we just told our kids santa is taking them presents other places so he will only be leaving a small one(movies) at our house
Do you possibly have a paypal or a way to receive money? Maybe a few of us can help out and donate a little something to give to your family. Just know you’re not a failure you’ve put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies! You’re doing the best you can
What about a food bank go to maybe they might give you a Christmas hamper? If you are in Saskatchewan
Not sure about the USA if they do them or not
Church’s do them as well
Yes reach out to friends and family and see if anyone can help out with a gift or two. Maybe bake some cookies as a thank you. Kids that young dont really remember what they got just opening gifts. If you have a 5below they have great toys and stocking stuffers. Reach out to your church and toys for toys. Also check with the police department, ours collects toys all year and give them out for Christmas. It will work out mama!
And why have another baby if times are tough? I’m not judging but it’s a little difficult for me to understand this … babies and kids are a huge responsibility not only emotionally but financially and we have to prepare for this.
Best of luck
You can always have Christmas on your time like say right now isn’t going so well so when things get better you could have your own with your babies and make it fun and special like your day for and with them to celebrate and since he isn’t paying child support, I would file with the court because that’s not acceptable. Perhaps if you have family that can lend you some money for gifts like you can do a lot with 200$ for kids. It’ll be okay
This time turn it over where it’s the law he pay you child support. If he doesnt pay he goes to jail no ifs ands or buts you deserve better. Let them handle it for you. And go to your local church they will help you. Salvation army will also help. God bless you.
Sweetie, reread what you wrote anf pretend your best friend or sister wrote it. None of this is your fault and it sounds like you work very hard to provide. That being said at those ages the dollar tree is a life saver.
Good will,churches,ect. Where there is a will there’s a way
Try local churches and gift banks, every year we have multiple places that give out gifts and food for families I relied on them a few years myself, praying for you
Sign up for a Christmas hamper, or get a Facebook mom group to post anonymously for you looking for toy donations even used toys seem new to kids
There’s a lady in Tulsa wishing to spend time with a family just to be with a family, research her, seriously
Churches. Social services. Salvation Army. Shiners Lodge or Masonic Lodge. Dollar Tree. Thrift Stores. Moms Freecycle pages on FB. Freecycle groups on Yahoo. Odd jobs. Food Pantries. Couponing. Emailing toy manufactures for coupons or freebies. Freebie sites on the web.
I personally am a couponer. And I will tell you that the one legit survey app (because most are jokes…) is “Quick thoughts” in 2 weeks I have earned a $60 amazon card and bought my daughter 2 bigger items already. Free shipping with Prime. Also there are some Dollar general groups which will show you how to get items very cheap as well. But the app you wouldnt need a car or money. Just time for a few days to sit down and do it and get the amazon credit.
I know how you feel. We’ve struggled the last 3 yrs and haven’t been able to provide Christmas at all for our 3 kids. They understand as they are older now but this year was rough as we recently lost their Grandma in November…but our financial status is better. So we are giving them a good one. So chin up Mama…IT DOES GET BETTER! Don’t loose faith…just do what you can and always remember that rough times are only temporary. Much love Mama
Go to ur local church! Salvation Army! Make some calls! Bet u can find ur son a few things! But presents isn’t what Christmas is about! But people will help you! God bless u both!
Find a church, police or fire department. Try and talk to someone at your sons school. Sweetheart there will always someone who wants to help. Just ask, God will bless.
Just take one day at a time. It’s rough now, the days drag on but how does time fly by.
When your son is older he will understand the hardships. For now do your best to keep adult problems from him and reinforce that the holidays is about spending time with family and gifts are just a bonus.
Depending how old you kids are the dollar store has puzzles books little cars. Our Santa gifts are coming from the dollar store. The big gifts are from mommy and daddy.
Think twice before you bring anymore suffering children into this world, birth control is free for the asking
Hang in there. You’re doing the best you can under the circumstances. Life happens, but the important thing is that you are providing a home for your little one. Like others have suggested go to the dollar store and get him a few toys, buy some crafts and make decorations:) kids don’t care about the cost of a gift, he’ll just remember that you tried to make Christmas special and the time you spent with him. You got this mama. Merry Christmas
$5 worth of something from the dollar tree. It is NOT about the presents. Do something special with just him that day. Maybe make it a tradition. Doesn’t have to to cost. Show him what really matters. Going broke for a holiday is not what matters. Loving your child is, and it is clear that you do.
Try your local churches, they usually help with things like that. Also, contact Toys for Tots. Marine Toys for Tots
See if Toys for Tots or a toy drive will help you!
Make them something or do a fun walk with a scavenger hunt
Take them to five below let them loose. Or make good memories with them. IE: at some point take the to the zoo or the museum or something to that effect.
You are not a horrible mom. You should never speak about yourself like that. Your children are clothed and fed and have a roof over their head. Reach out to local churches and see what help there is in your area. See if anyone has gently used toys that they are looking to get rid of.
Go to your local police Dept as they often do for kids. Also check with local church.
I dont understand. Im honest with my children & xmas isnt required. U are a mother 24/7 u provide for your children 24/7. Im done going broke & into debt for xmas, especially if are letting someone else take the credit. My children & i are creating more affordable & fun memories for xmas. I have 4 children they will be getting 2 gifts a piece in addition to pjs. We will be binge watching disney+ with cookies & snacks with their cousins & then driving around to look at xmas lights. No point in beating yourself up & feeling like a failure as a mom over 1 day when u are a mom 24/7. Also if u feel this horrible there are xmas programs that provide gifts for children 🤷🏾
I’d call around to local churches, Salvation Army, even reach out to your child’s school if they attend school.
It’s all about learning from our mistakes. If you don’t, then you can’t improve. You’re not a horrible mother, but you have very poor decision making skills. Did you open a bank account since you lost all your money in your wallet? Did you choose to focus on the child you have or have more children? You didn’t work so hard to save money if you spent it on kids and cars. Your ex has proven himself incapable on more than one occasion, so why would you assume you could fall back on him? Why would you assume that you had enough money to function with another child if a $2k bill will bankrupt you? Love is so important for kids and they have that. That’s wonderful. You go out of your way to provide for them. That’s wonderful. Loving children isn’t your problem. Being a “horrible mom” this Christmas isn’t your problem. Making smart choices is.
So find a charity to help. Perhaps through his school or a church or even a food pantry may have gifts for kids at christmas. Try toys for tots?
And no more babies. Start looking for a job closer to home. Don’t date. Don’t have sex if you can’t find a birth control that works. Get refocused on bettering yourself - ALONE - and your kids will reap those benefits. Time to stop playing the victim, get up, and try again. This time, don’t let anything stand in your way. No more costly choices. Maybe save that next 2k for a cheap new car, with a finance plan, and free repairs for 2 years or whatever they’ll offer. You can do this. Don’t spend more than you need to. Good luck, mama!
Simple is best. It is always this Christmas the kids enjoy most. These were the days my mom would take us out give us enough to get something for our siblings and pick out something for ourselves. She would then get us a couple things we don’t know about. Small but perfect. Even go out and make it a small occasion. We had always enjoyed doing the photobooth and maybe a couple arcade games or maybe lazer tag at the mall.
There are programs and people who donate presents lol for that in your area
See if you can do something locally, like the school in my area helps with thanksgiving, Christmas meals and presents. See if you have anything like that. Also see if your area has a fb group for free stuff… I got my Kid’s presents from the program with the school. My youngest is set. My oldest wants 2 specific things he didn’t get yet. My bf and I are not exchanging gifts (or very small gifts). We are making it about the kids this year. Depending on age you may even be able to get stuff at a dollar store
Christmas isnt monetary… Christmas comes from the heart
You can get cheap crafting supplies and maybe make something with him, that way he gets presents and you also spend quality time and have fun
1: you are not a horrible mom for not being able to afford Christmas. Life happens at the most inconvenient times. 2: make it a teaching moment for your children if they’re older, teach them the reason behind the season so they are still grateful for what they shall receive… even if it’s not much.
3: forget your baby daddy and his petty new wife. They’re just showing your son their true colors. From the sounds of it they’re selfish and couldn’t possibly understand the negative impact they’re bringing to the table with these behaviors.
Christmas time as a single mother is never easy. my daughters first Christmas was a fight and for her birthday following the next month I had an ultimatum. Pay rent or have her party. We are dealt a lot of unfair cards in life but it’s really all just how you play them. In the meantime be easier on yourself, and spend less time trying to make everything perfect.
I know this will be unpopular but… Why not tell your son the truth?
Leave the dad details aside he does not need that, this is why i don’t believe in teaching children the whole santa thing though.
Bless you for being such a good mum, perhaps it would be nice to explain your son how hard you’ve tried, how unfortunately santa are his mum and dad how you promise to make the next one better. Children are very sweet and understanding when given a chance. Tell him he hasn’t been forgotten by anyone because he is indeed special and HE IS a good boy and he does deserve the presents.
Love is what christmas really should be about and not being able to afford a ton of presents because propaganda tells you to does not make you a bad parent. Here if you want to talk.
You can find really cool things at dollar tree. I’m going there for a few things
Call the salvation Army or churches
Contact your local government center, most towns offer Christmas support. And if they have already done theirs, ask what/where you could go.
I think today is the last day most dollar stores are doing buy 1 toy get 2nd 50% off, plus $5 off $25.00 today. Can you spare $20.00 and get 18 items from dollar store and wrap each item up? Dollar tree even has hot wheels. If you lived near me, I’d help figure something out. Good luck, chin up and remember your son has YOU!!! Plus maybe speak with him about waiting until next Pay period to make up Christmas.
Check for Xmas presents programs in your area . Toys for tots
Have been there a few times. Couldn’t even afford a Christmas tree. But we but little decorations up around the house. But my kids got their stockings full of little things. Books, coloring books, crayons. It isn’t about how much one can get. It’s about baby Jesus & being together
Definitely try a church. They will help you out! If not, salvation army!!
You don’t have any family that sends/give him gifts? I agree the dollar tree/dollar general have cheap toy items for him to at least have something. This is why I don’t get involved with the whole Santa tradition. I know it’s based off a true story and my daughter knows that as well but she doesn’t expect anything from him. Not being able to afford it is what’s stressing you out. Ive always been honest with my kids. I have 2 boys bdays in Dec and then christmas. We celebrate their bdays every year at income tax time. It’s just too hard in Dec to do it. I don’t lie to my kids though about Santa and though that’s my choice as yours to have your son believe in it. I just don’t get the hype. :x it doesn’t make you a horrible mum not being able to afford Christmas. Get him something small from Santa and let him know he wasn’t forgotten. The ideology though of Santa is why your heart is breaking :x you’re still a good mum despite all else. My kids didn’t always have everything they wanted but what they needed. I can’t always afford my nieces and nephews at Christmas so my mum and I go half and half on some items. My families real traditional even though I’m not. It’s a time for family/friends to be together. That spirit of Christmas gets lost. I wish you the best hun! I really do! It isn’t easy being a single mum but what children need is more important than anything else and you’re doing a good job of providing that for your child! That’s what makes you a not horrible mum! Remember that.
PM me your address. We don’t have a lot of money but we’ll send you something. Age of child too
Jesus is the reason for the season, not gifts. The best gift you can give your kiddos is love and your time with them. They wont remember the things they will remember your time and love most of all. I know yr heart wants to give them so much more. I am sure they are wonderful children and will understand if you only give them a little. I will be praying for you and yr family. I hope you can find peace and comfort this holiday season.
Get a frame from the dollar store, write him a handwritten note from you, and put a picture of you guys in it and tell him memories are worth more than gifts and you want to give him a memory this Christmas it’s not about paying a bunch for a gift. And churches can help out with a Santa gift so that he doesn’t feel left out. You’re a good mom because you feel bad, you shouldn’t feel bad but at least you are trying!
I’m not sure where you live but there are you drives everywhere! Without them I wouldn’t have many gifts! It sounds like he’s too little to understand yet but when he gets older he’ll be able to understand. Being a single parent is hard. You’re doing the best you can it sounds like and he’ll see that later. At least you’re there with him, try contacting your local health department or wic office. They might be able to help. Local churches do toy drives as well and can come up with something. Not sure if he’s school age but if so ask the school. Keep your head up, it will get better eventually and this will just be a distant memory. You’re not alone, just remember that.
Girl you have gave your kids a roof over their head, food in their belly, and love in their heart. You are a good momma, don’t forget that! Hit up the dollar store for 2 or 3 small thing, wrap them in newspaper ( the comics work well and it’s cheap!) and hug your babies tight. Cook a small meal together and there you go, a warm loving holiday that they will always remember and will feel safe and happy about. That’s all you need
I reccomend dollar tree or local dollar stores! That’s what we did for our daughter last year and what we will do this year probably. Christmas can be tough for everyone
Police the churches fire department… all do things for children… at Christmas time … give them a call I’m sure they’ll make sure your children have a wonderful Christmas… they also do food too ! God bless you ! Things will be
Thrift/ garage sale shopping can turn up some amazing toys for nothing but dollars. Also, don’t focus on toys. My kids get things they need but aren’t necessarily fun. A new outfit or cool toothbrush. You can pair it down to:
- Want (something frivolous that they want)
- Need (something they need)
- Read (something they can read)
Talk to the school’s and churches in your area. They have the resources to help families in need at this time of year. Don’t beat yourself up. My kids have survived on Dollar store Christmases and charitable donations when I was a single parent. We do what we have to do. Good luck Mama, but work swiftly as time is running out.
Your not horrible. Most have been in your spot. Christmas is so hard. The dollar store saved us one year. It’s amazing what you can get. They dont need a lot…maybe have a card for them as well, saying "your next gift is going to______ with mommy and sister(or brother). "
Maybe see if you can get a job closer to home so u can use transit or walk there and back.
Make a budget and stick to it.
Go to the dollar store. Hell just be happy to get something it doesnt have to be 100 dollars.
Oh and kick that asshole guy of your to the curb!
This is why my kids know only their stockings come from Santa. I do little things, crayons, $1 toys, candy, tooth brushes, tooth paste, socks… I would do that and explain the rest.
Get creative make home made gifts
Second hand stores maybe or dallor tree and most towns have a Christmas is sharing program if all of this undoable maybe a go fund me page
You’re not horrible! Start buying throughout the year 10-20$ here and there. You won’t feel it as much. We HAVE to do that because we would be in the same boat
Christmas is definitely hard. Go to dollar stores. It’s cheaper. Buy cars or something. Like everyone says, go through police, fire department. You can also email them. Even churches & catholic churches. They give gift cards & gifts