IMO it’s a HUGE red flag 
when a man doesn’t leave his mamas breast.
I’ve seen a lot of marriages have issues because of a man choosing his mother over his wife/children.
Call a family meeting and let it all out. It’s possible you’re reading too much into some things and it’s also possible his family has some preconceived notions about you that aren’t true.
If they are the type to always ply the victim and your husband isn’t seeing it then you might have to walk away if you guys can’t come to some understanding. But it has to be talked out regardless so you can have some closure. If that doesn’t happen then it’ll always be stressful and eat at you since there are kids involved and they will likely tell you stuff as they get older.
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He has a toxic mother. Turned him toxic. If u can run, run now.
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Girl run!!! Fuck all that i cannot! First off my attitude wont let me id end up fighting the whole house and i would leave instantly if ur “man” wont stand up to his family that treats you like crap you dump his ass and put a lock on the garbage can
You deserve to be treated right and respected too. That kind of behavior should not be tolerated just to keep the peace by anyone. In my situation, I will not have anything to do with my husband’s side of the family. I’m still with my husband, but he has also chosen himself to stay away from them too. Anybody that bullies, disrespects, talks bad about you constantly, tries to come in between your marriage or in our case plot to take our child, should not even be associated with. The decision will be hard though. Praying for you.
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Sounds like emotional incest. The moment my mil called me out of my name we stopped seeing her.
#1, above and beyond… Never ever have or take your children around anybody regardless if they’re family, if they are disrespecting you as a mother, especially in front of your kids. Absolutely not. Will lead to disaster. What I want to tell you is to take the children and get away from those weird-ass people. But I know sometimes that’s not completely realistic. You need to reestablish your boundaries. Especially with your boyfriend.
You don’t demand respect so they definitely are not going to give it. Living with this man for 10 years does not change the fact in their minds that you are just a girlfriend or baby mama as some call it and they are not giving you a higher status
This happens a lot when people are not married. If something happens to your boyfriend they will dip in so fast and take everything that belongs to him.
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Walk away. It won’t be easy but you deserve someone who will value you and respect you.
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Walk away a MAN should stand up for his Woman it doesn’t matter who it is and if ain’t doing it now he never will… SEE ON THE FLIP SIDE DOUSHE BAG IS WHAT I’D TELL HIM.
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Run it will only get worse leave before she turns your kids against you.
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Faith Carline this is sad 
Plan first… then leave
ALWAYS have a plan……
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You already know the answer. Leave!
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Leave run not a good family at all.
My husband family hates me. So I make sure I show up to every family function with a smile and talk to all of them. I get them shitty gifts for birthdays like a tree skirt. Fck them. Kill them with kindness!! Don’t feed into their bullshit. Don’t give them the satisfaction!!!
If your bf won’t stand up for you like he should, you don’t have a chance in hell
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You already have answered your question. U deserve a partner and a husband. Mommas boys rarely change. Live your life for you. Stop watching it go by with hurt and distance. Good luck
Theres way too many red flags and its best you leave while you can. If you cant just pick up and leave start to get you and your childrens affairs in order and make a plan to leave for a better life.
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besides a mama’s boy… sounds like they’re both narcissistic
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You don’t have a real man. You have a little boy. Enough said.
I’m sure if you decide to leave she will try to turn him against you and try to get full custody. Make sure you have a plan and move on. He doesn’t respect you when he allows anyone to disrespect you.
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Consult an attorney regarding custody so that you have something in place when you leave. His mother and sister are going to do their best to hurt you and the best way to accomplish this is through the kids.
Your boyfriend doesn’t have a mind of his own so he’ll do whatever spiteful things they tell him to do.
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I was in a similar situation and I finally snapped. After that they respected me and I had no more problems
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I think you should let him read what you wrote and let him see what everyone has said to do! If this doesn’t wake him up to get a backbone then cut your loses! Sad how people can treat family like this! Shame on them! Karma ain’t nice!
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Get up out of there boo. Im sorry 
Walk away wont end well
If he cant support you hes not a partner. Dont let the kids think this is normal behaviour. Leave and be happy
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Oof run for the hills girl!!
Show him the responses from what would be the majority of women if everyone answered his question. No sense continuing to date a baby while you’re busy trying to raise 2!
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Get rid of him & his family!!!
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Time for that mommas boy to put up or shut up. I would never stand for his disrespect for a minute. Tough love is called for. Leave and u call the shots!!!
If you have to ask if it’s worth saving out loud, it’s not. He doesn’t respect you and you’re aware of it. No amount of time together means you are required to stay with someone who knows how you feel about something hurtful but refuses to change it. Period.
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May as well end it. It isnt gonna get any better!! It will only get way worse!! 
It’s not what they do to you it’s what u allow. You can’t control other people’s behavior only your own so stop putting up with it. Actions louder than words. Create a life u love and if that’s removing them from it then that’s what u do.
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I wish my MIL told the kids to ask their dad. My kids bug me for everything
Anyway, on a serious note. You deserve respect and acknowledgment. Leave sis. It’s been 10 years.
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In my state you are not married to him.So that gives you full custody…
I raised my boys and what I said is what happened.
I took care of them so I had the say so.
Even with my grandchildren I always ask their mom when I can visit them or when I can get them overnight…
It’s called respect
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Well if he’s a good dad then leave. He’s still going to be a good dad and you can find someone who will treat you the way you should be treated.
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Move on and take your babies with you!!! What kind of respect are they learning when they see their father and other family members treat you that way? If you’re okay with your kids treating you that way, stay. If not, LEAVE NOW!
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He has to be able to give her the kind. Mind ya business. My now husbands mother had many choice opinions to give him and she hardly comes around or even calls. So he was nice about it but said she needed to mind her own business. Honestly I was feeling I needed to compete to make her happy but honestly it is my job to make him happy along with our family. If you feel you have to compete with your boyfriends mom have a grown conversation with him and let him know how you are feeling
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Sounds to me like a family of domineering women, they rule the “roost” and Control everything.You either have to be like them, have them taste their own medicine or leave. They will never respect boundaries because they have None. It’s awful they treat you like that 
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a group where we just tell you to dump him
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Take it from me …RUN! Married here with a 5 year old and big ass mamma’s boy for a husband. He literally lived at home till he was fucking 39…shit you not! Five years in, multiple arguments, physical altercations and she literally even tried to get a lawyer and take our kid away. No lie! Oh! And we lived with them for 2 years when our daughter was born…yeahhhh…. Five years later, we are now living in the city an hour away and my in laws see her on weekends. Things are finally starting to settle down. We are finally getting into a routine and his mother and I are in a much better place… BUT if I had it to do over again? I would’ve run and never looked back…I love my husband but it’s affected my life, my job, my marriage and ultimately my mental health. I’ve been down so low at times I had to look up to look down. Still dealing with the after effects but we are getting by. So my advice? Leave. Leave now and don’t look back or prepare yourself for the next ten years of HELL. 
After 10 years I’d hope you could speak n listen openly n honestly with each other in private about things that bother each of you… Sugar coating won’t help, so I’d suggest open respectful bluntness. Throwing in the towel n walking away is easy, but relationships aren’t that. Try communicating and counseling first.
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People don’t change. Get out of the relationship.
Having a third child from an indecisive partner just being your BF does not change your situation.Not saying you are planning a third child.Him being a good father can also work co parenting.You have no marriage vows,no stability.He is too attached still to his Mum and sister.It takes many years to accept such a strange relationship and at the end he will choose his family above you.It could still have worked between you and his family had they been genuine and kind to you.But not if they bad mouth and accuse you falsely.Time for you to make plans and analyse your position as to how you can afford to stay on your own with your children.You are not married to him.That way leaving him could be easier.Your childrem need the love and assurance of both of you.Be respectful to one another and show your children that you are mature parents.All the best.⚘⚘
Try marriage/family counseling. Even if behavior doesn’t change it can give you clarity and help you learn ways of dealing with and countering their rudeness.
Then decide if you want to leave. Teach the kids to say, “Don’t talk about my mom that way!” Or, “I don’t like it when you talk about my mom that way.” As it looks like this is a family-wide problem on his side that may never be resolved.
Use all resources available to plan your exit from the relationship: women’s center, counselor, county & state resources, free consultation with a lawyer, this forum, etc.
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When he realized his mother wasn’t going to treat me better, we went no contact.
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I finally told my mother-in-law off three years ago. I called her with the best intentions. When she brought up her grievances, I shot them down. Of course, she played the victim card. Who cares? See ya, old bitch!
I would walk ! Regardless of how my mother and sister in law feel about me, if they EVER talked to me any kind of way but nicely my husband would be ALL over them about it or just cut them out of our lives . Period . The only family that matters is the one y’all created together !
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Girl I know this’ll be hard to hear but you need to WALK away. They’re gaslighting and abusing you. If you don’t want your kinds to grow up thinking it’s okay, it needs to be stopped. Otherwise they’ll tolerate it and even do it to others. You need to put yours and their health first
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Sylvia Browne would tell you that on the other side your mother-in-law is your best friend and you asked her coming to this life with you to experience what she is giving you. Just try telling her she’s doing wonderful job every time she upsets you.
You called a guy you’ve been with for 10 years your boyfriend.
You would be calling a man your partner after 10 years if your relationship was solid. 
Run. It won’t get better. My mother in law is a c from hell. She’s called the police and cps on us and for the last 2 years been trying to sue my husband for custody of his biological children. When the judge told her no, she is trying to get a 50/50 split visitation!!
The best thing to do, LEAVE. I promise you will be happier. I have been with a mama’s boy who called me names, talked badly about me and even held my daughter and I hostage once because she didn’t want me to have my daughter or take her out of her sight. I actually fought his younger sister once because she thought I was disrespecting him and his older sister was the same too. I got the hell out and never looked back.
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He doesn’t have your back. Unfortunately that likely won’t change, it’s been a decade already. He can be a good father without having to be your boyfriend. I’m sorry they’re so shitty to you. Go where you’re wanted and respected instead.
Leave. Men are not DIY projects. You do not get one and change him in to who you want him to be. He is what he is, and he had no plans on changing.
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Leave and dont look back mommas boys are always mommas boys
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I came into a family like this one. 20 years later my husband and I are happily married for 18 years and those in his family that didn’t respect our relationship in the beginning aren’t in our lives now.
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It’s time to walk away and respect yourself more than they ever have. In 10years has he ever even showed that you and the kids were the priority? Or is it always mommy? Have you 2 carded him? (Therapy/Custody)
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My mother in law tried to feed me mushrooms four times after knowing I was allergic. I kept her grandkids from her for 5 years and she changed her tune. Try that.
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Repeat these words when his family blatantly disregards or fails to recognize you are the power/ parent…" Go fuck yourselves’ with perfect eye contact ,snapping gum ,and giving them all the finger…If they are gonna hate you and be disrespectful you might as well stand up for yourself as a impression on your kids… Dont sell yourself short and don’t let others sell you short either
Girl sounds toxic af
ts only going to get worse
Watch the movie and read the book Think Like A Man. Gives insight and might help with the mother in law.
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If he hasn’t changed in 10 years then it’s time to move on. You deserve better treatment. If you love him and want to continue the relationship then you could seek counseling together if he’s willing but from what you said it doesn’t sound like he will be. He may surprise you though.
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Sounds like it may be time to move on. He values his mother over you and doesn’t seem to respect your feelings. I think you deserve better. It’s probably a blessing in disguise that you didn’t get married. But definitely if you leave go to court for custody of the kids and have visitation in writing
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RUN and take your children! If they grow with that example they will use it too. That’s toxic and emotionally abusive! 
your in a den of narcissism doll, RUN!
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Did you say “date”? Date but, you live together and have 2 children together? Sounds to me like it has gone WAYYY past dating. Maybe his Mother disrespects you for that (but, it is as much him as you). Then, again could be he is such a mama’s boy, that no one is good enough for her “little boy”. Seems with everything the way it is, you will never measure up. Might even try asking her, if the 2 of you married, would she think more of you. That might tell you whether to run or stick ariund
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Time for him to step up! 2 things why are you not married? That could be why she has no respect, and or tell him as the mother of his kids cuz you can’t say his wife he needs to back you up or do what I did I don’t go around anymore! His dad also called my kids (different father) his grandkids never step them one day wen he finally say his blood granddaughter I herd him say something like step grandkids and that was the end of that they never saw the kids again now going on 4 years and my husband backs me up. Good luck but stand your ground if it means that much to you
10 years no commitment and as the mother of his children he should never let anyone disrespect you! Girl run!! Co-parent and go find you some peace…
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I could relate, love that my “mother in law” and the rest of its family we have wiped our arses of them. They’ll never know our kids and that’s what I love the most 
Tell her to fuck off…live happily ever after…
I didn’t read the rest of your post…I stopped at “a long time with no commitment”… You have kids , bigger commitment then a marriage licence…and disregard the MIL …
I felt like u n i are in same life! ALL was grest till i had my son now all fake n lies drama etc… I get so upset… both his mother n sis act as if i dont know how or a thing about my own…hated n made stupid comments about my breastfeeding how i wanna raise him not push him off for granny too…like her other kids… i jus avoid her n his sis but it doesnt make for good hokidays between him n i we fight constantly 1 min hee sees it …but as soon as he speaks to them hes flipped ta there side … I gave up … I will not allow there hate into my son and hope one day it changes! But deep down i know no it wont! I live for my son 100%! Good luck if u ever wanna have a bitch session on this subject since its so similar pm me 
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like I am constantly competing with my boyfriends mom: Advice?
I would just stop going 
if you love your boyfriend otherwise despite his family. Just say I’m tired of feeling like shit in their presence. Go have fun with the kids and have a mom day whenever they go over there
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Ya ever wonder why he didn’t get married?? It’s because he cherishes his mama more.
That’s not a man. That’s a boy.
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Hi mommy!!! First of all i just hope you find the peace and self healing that you need. My partners family and I don’t have a great relationship because I have stood my ground and let them know when I feel disrespected and you should probably do the same. In a respectful kind manner say no when you have to. If you’re able to walk away from the situation please do so for your kids. You need to show your kids you are the pillar of the family and you are strong and your feelings and words matter. If you can set boundaries as soon as possible you will thank yourself very soon. Address the problem accordingly. But do so now. Sometimes we let people have the best of us for so long they can get use to it and stop giving you the value and appreciation you need. Specially family. Your family now is your children and hubby. The family has to go. If you feel disrespected they shouldn’t be allowed in your home. Your home is your safe spot and if they can’t treat you with respect and love they don’t deserve to visit. The hubby can go visit the mom perhaps have lunch out but stay away from pple that don’t value you.
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Take the kids n leave if he hasnt changed by now he never will. N being physically n mentally is not good for you or the children to see n hear it
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If he doesnt wanna go without you then make it clear, he will either defend you to his family or your relationship clearly means nothing so you will be left with no choice but to walk away because you no longer want to be in a relationship where your feelings dont matter.
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I went to a marriage counselor for this type of situation…She said Once a Mama’s Boy always a Mamas Boy either learn to live with it or get out. I got out
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Get a therapist. Leave him. Life is too short to waste it with people we don’t enjoy. Seriously, you all (you and your children) deserve better!!!
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Confront the behavior when it happens in your home. Your children do not need to see you being mistreated, especially in your own safe haven.
Consider leaving the relationship, it’s not going to improve, you should not be slighted or constantly on defense when his family is around.
He doesn’t care enough to stand up for you, so stop kneeling for him and his family.
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The biggest problem is…you are not his wife.If you have any respect for yourself,get out of this relationship,give your life over to Jesus Christ and go from there.
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Girl what you see is what you get. They are showing you exactly who they are and how they feel about you. Believe them the first time. After 10 yrs and 2 kids your are still “the girlfriend “ ? Pack your bags and move on. You aren’t and will never be respected by any of them.
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Stop competing and leave. Just make sure you have a court ordered agreement re: your children.
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I had this in my first marriage with my ex. We were together for 10 years, married for almost 3 of those years. But no kids. I’m thankful I never had kids with him because I have no idea how I would have survived raising my kids around his family, especially his mom. I would have definitely dealt with the disrespect and it gives me anxiety to think about how awful it would’ve been to have to share my kid(s) with them. I can relate to literally everything you said in your post, minus having kids. My ex NEVER stuck up for me. If we didn’t already split up almost 3 years ago, I think eventually I would have ended up leaving with my kids. It would have been way too much to handle. And things would never have changed even if I stood up for myself. It’s been so relieving to not have to deal with that type of treatment and disrespect. My new in laws are seriously amazing and even if I did have kids from my previous marriage, I know my in laws would love them and treat them as their own grandkids and that’s what kids deserve, not the toxic games some families like to play. My life has been a little hectic the past few years, but moving on from that toxic family situation is the best thing I ever did. And if I did have kids involved, it would’ve been an even better decision to leave because I know I don’t deserve to be treated like that and my kids shouldn’t be around people who continuously disrespect their parents.
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My ex was like this, I left him x
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If you ain’t happy your kids ain’t happy. If he don’t respect you infront of his family, his family won’t respect you either. If he’s not putting you first then he don’t deserve you. It’s time to walk away.
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A Mama’s boy is always a Mama’s boy, she will come first to him and you will be second. If you believe whole heart that you can co-parent, go for it. There are apps out there to help with keeping up with schedules without having to call. Messaging is available to talk about just the kids on those appsx
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Its crazy how every ones first choice is saying to leave him. I know thats harder done then said. But in my opinion I think you shouldnt leave… Try counseling or something before just giving up. Thats your man your babys father that bond I dont think is worth breaking over this. I think you guys can work it out… But with your in laws just stay far away from them make them wonder what your up too an they will stop when they know they cant get to you any more… Alot of the times the in laws are jealous of the relationships their child has with someone else… Just work it out with your man an tell him you dont want nothing to do with his fam until they start acting right… No need to fight about it just throw your facts out an it is what it is…
The family you come from is important but the family you create is priority. If he doesn’t see it this way then you’re wasting your time.
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I feel like, no matter what or who, your man should be a MAN and respect and stand up for his women. I would talk to him about it and if nothing changes, you can find better, best of luck to you
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If you have love for this man I would suggest counseling. If he can’t see the error of his mama boy ways then I’d suggest moving forward. If he is committed to you that all has to stop. You are mom and he is dad bit thay behavior from his mom and how he treats you there is not ok. But off the bat it’s too much but will that dynamic change if you split probably not and they could be more nasty about it as the children grow. Just possibilities. Good luck
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You are allowing your children to think that it is ok to disrespect you. Have a sit down direct conversation & tell your live in that he has a choice…1. Grow a set & stand up for you with his family or 2. he can go find someone who likes to be disrespected! Period! No compromise! If you think your children aren’t hearing this disrespect you are mistaken. Facts!
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I was in a similar relationship. My husbands mother and sister would bad mouth me all the time. I hated to do it, but i gave my husband an ultimatum. Me or them. He chose me. He barely talks to his mother. She is no longer allowed in our home.
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I would also suggest marriage counseling as well. Separation is hard on everyone. Maybe try having a heart to heart with his mother. I hope it all works out for you
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Set boundaries, if he doesn’t respect them, he doesn’t respect you! If his mommy is more important than you then that’s where he belongs. Walk away!
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You can try counseling but it doesn’t always help sometimes it can even make it worse. Honestly I’d just leave it doesn’t get better and eventually it’ll just cause more issues
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I’ve dealt with the same for the past 8 years however we were married. We have a child together with special needs n his family will call me a bitch to my 3 year old. He had actually put his hands on me n his family says it’s my fault why did I make him mad. So after 8 years I left with my son n going through a divorce. Myself as well as my son is so much more happier now. I know how you feel but after years of being together you would want things to work but in reality you have to think of your happiness as well as your children.
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As far as the children go I would definitely put her in her place reminding her that you live with the one she raised & he’s far from perfect when he doesn’t even stand by you with her. And I would also let him know if it continues there will be changes made. If they want to call you a bitch, let your inner bitch out girl!
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