Sounds to me like you need to stand up to them and get some respect if he can’t understand that then so be it
Sit down and write your partner a letter of how you feel about the whole situation. Often it’s easier for men to understand if it’s in written form . Then I’d be have a sit down chat with his mother and set ground rules . I’ve been with my husband for 36 years and the first 9 years with his father was a bloody nightmare until I found my voice and stood up for myself . I’ve been writing my life’s story and I can understand why people have suggested you leave him but if your love one another n he truly listens to your side and wants things to get better it’s truly worth the uncomfortable discussion. It can work with boundaries
If your boyfriend is allowing the disrespect, leave.
I personally know how you feel. You don’t need to allow the disrespect and the obvious avoidance of acknowledging you as his significant other and mother of your own children. Your children will see this behavior and may even mimic it later on. Nip it in the bud now. No victim here,you are a mother,a warrior and this is battle. If he truly loves and respects you he will have your back,or he wasn’t worth waiting your time. Your children are a gift to you both. You can’t allow anyone to ruin them.
Stand up to them. If he doesn’t like it he can go.
If youre on the internet asking strangers if you should leave your relationship… you probably already know the answer… and if you dont like that answer then you need to work to save the relationship but dont make yourself misreable doing so, just be 100% their your kids you have a say and your done being disrepected. If somthing doesnt change you either take the kids out of grandmothers and aunts life, (if they cant respect you thats also disrespecting your children youre their MOTHER) or chose to not visit when your boyfriend and children do your dating him not the whole family.
Honestly is this man REALLY your forever person? Is a man with no back bone who puts you down in front of the same family members putting you down also what you want to be with for even this long? When your kids get older they will treat you just like this as well. What is more important to you to stay with this man or raise your kids to respect you as well not treating others like what you are complaining about? I would highly recommend finding your own way. This will only get worse. The bottom line is what you as a mother can deal with. I for one could NEVER deal with not respected as MY children’s mother.
Fuck his family period. If he ain’t gonna commit fuck him too
Thats a full blown narcissistic family GTFO
PS; I’d rather have my life hard and sometimes difficult but my children knowing what’s right and wrong and giving and receiving respect from others. And to live their lives with dignity, to be strong and independent loving people!! That’s my wish! %.
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It took 10 years to see he was a mama’s boy?
That’s 10 years wasted, I hate to say it but he’s not going to change.
If he treats you different around his mom and lets his family treat you badly, that’s toxic.
It would be best to leave that situation NOW! File for custody and move on.
Just leave girl. And take your babies.
Don’t walk, run! That is a family of narcissists, and is the last thing you want to raise your kids aroind
Tell that man to step up and take your side! Your life, your kids, your decision.
Oh sister l so get your situation and l so feel for you… I married an only child and my inlaws honestly made my life a misery alot of the time… I have no answers for you l am sorry. I left after 25years and they were a big contributing factor, however hindsight is a good thing and l do truly wish l had of stuck up for myself more, rather than turning the other cheek, as it didn’t matter how nice or fair l tried to be. All l can say is lay the law down now with your husband if you can, and l strongly suggest family counseling so you learn to communicate better as a couple and see if you can move forward from there. Goodluck. I do wish l had of done some things differently, like telling my husband he needed to stick up for me rather than hoping he would. Be brave you have nothing to lose.
Say fuck you all and walk away it will only get worse, best of luck to you and your kids
Bye-bye. Your guy should be your biggest ally and you his. Period.
Walk away and don’t bother with them because they showing how they feel about you. Why stay if no respect there.
Talk to your mama’s boy bf and explain and if he gets mad so be it move on and don’t allow it to continue.
Sounds like you kinda answered your own question. Do pros and cons. See which one wins. Make a list. Its staring you in the face. Go from there. Or write yourself a letter as if you are writing to your bff and say all the things that are bothering you then mail it to yourself. Read it and its usually an eye opener. Just sayin. A few exercises ate greatly helpful instead of alot of remarks from strangers. You know yoirself better than anyone else. Good luck
Narcissist at it’s finest. Sounds like from BF AND family. My 2 cents…
- talk to BF in NONconfrontational way. Tell him how you feel. Explain it’s hurting you AND the kids [they pick up on this behavior & may mimic
].
- if BF isn’t willing to see the narcissism & way his family treats you… Well, then leave. I know, easier said than done. Get your ducks in row & leave!!
The family you come from is important BUT the family you create is your priority !!! If your man doesn’t respect that then it may be time to move on
I’d leave, if he can’t defend you infront of his family that shows he has 0 respect for you.
Be there , done that. I left and got divorced. Best thing I ever did. I was in that exact same boat. A relationship with a narcissist is toxic . . My advice, it sounds like he is set in his ways and if he can’t respect you then he doesn’t deserve you. Take your kids and leave him you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.
Leave. Sounds like he doesn’t want to hear how you feel about the treatment you’re getting from his family. The family you create is what matters most not the family you had/have. Remember children are impressionable; what they see and hear they will think it is acceptable and you may end up being treated that way by your own babies even though you may be a fantastic mom. Daddy may or may not realize how wrong his family is by that time but it may be too late by then.
I would leave or put your foot down with your man… nothing worse then a mama’s boy.
I dealt with the drama of my husband’s family, which they are no longer in our lives and haven’t been for a long time. My husband’s mother never even met our daughter and she is 11. I wouldn’t allow her around my daughter due to all the nasty things her and my husband’s sisters have said. I don’t want or need that type of negativity around my child. Tell your man if he don’t say something to her you are going to leave.
From my personal experience, I will gladly tell you to leave him if he’s not going to stand up for you and when you do You tell his momma and sister that this will be the last time they ever get to disrespect you ever!! After that get your custody In order & if he has any afterwards then the kids only need to see their aunt & grandma when they are w/dad & you get to go about your life & never have to see his sister & mom ever again. My daughters dad never stood up for me when I was dating him, instead told me to stand up to his mom bc she is a grown woman & so was I. So I did just that & she hated me. Now with our custody arrangements, when she tries to reach out to me to see her grand daughter I just say," we have custody arrangements and you can see her when your son has her. My time with my daughter is my time." And that’s it.
Btw, I’m married now and I get along great with my mother in law. She lives with us & my husband always stands up for me although I’m always defending his momma when he tries to argue w/her.
My “ex” in laws did me like that and my husband never stood up for me so he is also an “ex” now for many years…
Time to move on … Ive been in your shoes so after 13 yrs of marriage i got out. If they all cant repect u then take the kids and leave he will think about it all and if he dont come to get u all then u know.
You and the kids are meant to come first
Mummy’s boy or not. Know a few inlaws/outlaws like that. Big thumbs down. BF needs to sort his shit out and open his eyes
Definitely not a relationship worth staying in. He has not defend you nor will he. That means he has no respect for you. He allows this abuse to continue willingly to the mother of his children. Which is also showing the kids that that kind of treatment is ok and we know that it is not ok! Abuse is abuse in all forms. For your sanity and peace of mind as well as for your babies, it is best for you to take your kids and get out of that situation. He can still be a dad just without you taking all the hits verbally and emotionally. Prayers for you & your babies p.s. this has been going on for way too many years and unfortunately will not ever change. You deserve so much better sweetie.
You said it all…walk away before you go crazy!!
Leave. Simple as that. He should check his family for that. They sure wouldn’t be seeing my kids if I’m gonna be called a bitch. Honestly, honey… Leave bc he will always be a momma’s boy. U already got 2 kids to raise, u don’t need a man-child too.
I’d say that if your already questioning whether to stay or not then you know the answer deep down…after that many years he’s not going to change especially if he sees nothing wrong with his or his family’s behavior towards you…plus 10 years without a ring or actual commitment is a big red flag that he will never change…time to do the hard thing and give the ultimatum to acknowledge and change the behaviors and say something to his family or your gone
I have been in those exact shoes and I feel for you . Not easy at all. He has no respect and I promise you it will never change. You do what you need to do to be the best mom you can be for your kids and your mental health!!?
Wow, sounds like a family of gas lighters. Also sounds like you’re about to do exactly what it is she wants you to- walk away. I wouldn’t. I would just put my foot down. They are your children not hers. You need to set boundaries and stick to then with your boyfriend and her. He needs an ultimatum- either he changes his behavior towards you and shows you respect especially in front of other people or you walk.
You need to stand up for yourself. You have to be an example for your children. They need to know that it’s not acceptable the way your being treated. Ask their father how he would feel if someone treated his mom or sisters the way they treat you.
Get out of that situation quick. You do not want to deal with a mama’s boy or a nasty mother in law for the rest of your life. If boyfriend can’t keep his mom in her lane, you need to run, fast !
Honestly, do something about it now! I can’t direct you to leave him or fix the situation as that is your personal decision & it kind of sounds like you already made it, you may just need emotional support behind taking your next steps. Do what feels best for you & the kids.
IMO - the longer this lasts, the more your kids are seeing this as acceptable behavior. I wouldn’t stand for that myself as I would never want my kids to think that it is acceptable to treat ANYONE like that, especially family. Do something NOW & don’t wait it out any longer for both your well being & your kids. Good luck!
Ten years and no ring - mommy probably forbid it.
If you could read this post from our point of view…you’d be bouncing in your seat shouting “get the hell out!”
This family will never change. Ever.
The dynamic will worsen the older the hag gets and the older your kids get. To me - I’d be concerned they’ll be teaching your kids to treat you that way as they get older too.
You are not this family’s play thing. You’re not their door mat.
Get out! He’s a spineless man and he lives to please his mom. You will never win
After 10 years, and two babies, this is about as good as it will get. Ask yourself this, what kind of real man allows the mother of his kids to be treated that way? That’s a boy, not a man. You’re also teaching your children that this is okay and normal. The older your kids kid, the more they will mirror this behavior to you. Also, therapy. You can find places that work on a sliding scale to help. They can help you work on the things it takes.
Stop competing. You won’t win. Especially with a partner that’s not willing to throw his backbone behind you for support. This all sounds like narcissism and I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my life feeling this way
There’s 2 sides to every story and none of us should be judging based on only 1 side…
we don’t know how his mum is feeling or what you’ve said or done to her.
That mum raised that man! you can’t expect her to become a no one because he has you now.
Imagine your son took a side and didn’t have your back, Imagine how you would feel too!
I’d say some mediation is in order to work this riff out, no need to separate your families, im sure if yous all really tried,you could work it out.
You’re setting the example for your kids do you want your daughter (if you have one) treated like this? It’s unfair and its teaching the kids to disregard you also
Dump him and get as much child support as you can. He’s obviously not on your side
Stop competing. Let her think she’s better. You know the truth, and honestly that’s all that matters in life!
Time to let mama take care of her own boy.
You take care of your kids.