I have the same problem. Im 47 with adult children that refuse to have a relationship with her and they ask why I still talk with her. I lost my mother inlaw 2 years and I told myself i would never forgive myself if she didnt think i loved her and something happened to her. Now im dealing with issues not feeling good enough or say no to anyone. Im getting ready to read Adult children with emotionaly immature parents how to heal. Im really hoping it helps. It may help, Sorry i have no advice know you are not alone the bad part is learning to love myself and not feel guilty for not calling her but i have to put myself first. Good luck…