I have been dating this guy on and off for about 3 years. We have one daughter together and 3 i had previously. He use to cheat consistently and even admitted he used me alot for a place to stay. He tells other woman how pretty they are and such in long paragraphs but has never told me anything like that besides once in the start of our relationship. Well he moved away for about 6 months and had his fun with other woman. Told a girl he was moving back to our state because he was waiting on her and staying with a cousin which was far from true. He was staying with me and was supposed to try our relationship again for our family and because we missed each other alot. Same chick he told he was coming back for is the same one he kept talkin to for weeks before moving. He would ignore her while talking to me and video chatting and vice versa. I found out when he got here that, that is why he would ignore me for a few days as well. Since i told the girl everything she has been blocked by him. I really want this to work between us and he seems to have changed alot and is very happy with us but i just cant get past feeling like 2ns choice since i have been so many times and seems to be as well as this time and the whats ifs like what if i dindt find out about the chick. So im asking do you think he will change? Is it worth the try? Im at a loss and need help please.
Everyone is different but in my opinion he wont change no matter how hard or much u want him too. If he really loved and wanted you trust me.none of that stuff would of happened… your holding onto a dream you want babe
He’s obviously shown you many times the type of person he is. Not worth it he will just do it again
He won’t change , he has shown you time and time again that’s who he is . He keeps coming back not because he realizes you are the one , he comes back because he knows you are desperate enough to take take him back no matter what . You need to reflect and decide if you really want to be a doormat for someone that doesn’t even make you feel loved or valued . You know you are being used , your family deserves better .
Honey, it’s never going to work. Sounds like my situation with my ex. You’re better off.
He’s made it clear that you aren’t first choice. You are setting an example of what a relationship is for your child. Would you be happy if your child was in a relationship like yours? If not then move on.
I think people are wrong when they say people can’t change, but it does sound like he keeps falling back into those same bad habits, I think you deserve more than feeling 2nd best and actually if you stick around and keep giving him chances he will think he can get away with it. You may end up resenting eachother, with a child in the mix you should end it now and maybe just maintain a friendship and both move onto happier things separately
You are in love with him and not thinking smart. This man has been disrespectful to you for so long. Will he change? If he wants to. But why keep continuing a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you feel loved and safe.
He won’t change and you deserve way better. So does your daughter. You want to be with someone that is going to show your children how their mother should be loved because that will teach them what a healthy relationship looks like. He clearly had commitment issues and keeps cheating. You are better than this. Run.
You are showing your kids what love is supposed to look like. Be a good example for them… More importantly, set some boundaries. I’ve been right where you are before and have also learned the hard way. The most important thing is the kids. It’s better to see you single than in a toxic relationship.
He’s not gonna change
Pick up your heart and keep moving forward. He doesn’t deserve you.
Give him another shot. My man changed and still together. Yes people do change.
You need to run and never look back
People. Do. Not. Change. Period!! Why in the world would you want that to work. You deserve better
He’s using you. That’s all you’ll ever be is a place to crash and a temp psy. I’m sorry. ive been there… not for as long as you have but ive been there.
Don’t. Just Don’t. !!!
Would he be giving you a second chance if you had behaved like he did? That is your answer.
Don’t waste your time girl…
Move on! Stop having children with men that haven’t married you. I have been here before, desperately hoping he will stop cheating- but even if a year went by, cheaters eventually cheat- because they are selfish and only give a shit about what they want.
Girl you need to get away from him and I mean run! A man that loves and respects you is not a serial cheater. He will never give you the attention you deserve and you are only showing your daughters that is ok to have a guy repeatedly cheat on them and that is not good. Our children learn what relationships are supposed to be like through us. Drop him like a hot potato and find someone who actually loves you. You will find someone better. Sometimes we love people who are all wrong for us. This is one of those times. He doesn’t deserve you. Never did.
Sorry but he showed you who he is up front and he knows he can “charm” you into taking him back not because he changed but because he has that control over your emotions. You need to let him go and move on to someone you do not have to worry about the “what ifs” with and someone who will be supportive and caring for you not for their own gain.
I have a friend kinda going thru something similar. They have like 5 kids, been together 20 yrs and he’s been doing this to her for the entire time. Break the cycle now before you end up like her who has no clue where to begin to cut him out of her life
Was MARRIED to a man for 13 years that kept cheating and I kept forgiving him because of our family. They never change.
The father of my children is like this too. After 8 years of off and on and similar actions, we split for the final time in March of this year. I am much happier now.
Girl bye, throw the whole man away! If anybody ever makes you feel like the second choice leave immediately! Would you want your daughters to be treated like this? Because you’re just showing them that being treated like this is acceptable. If you can’t be strong and demand respect for your self please do it for your daughters so they also grow up to be strong women.
No he won’t change. I think you should focus on your kids and not trying to have a boyfriend right now. Unfortunately single moms are often the targets of guys who like to use and abuse them. They prey on mom’s lonliness and her generosity.
She may have blocked him, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to try it on someone new. He’s with you for convenience and because u keep taking him back!
The best advice I’ve ever received is this…
“When someone shows your who they are…believe them.” The fact that you came here for advice is telling g me that your already know the answer to your question. You should NEVER feel like second best in a relationship.
Because you are the 2nd choice maybe even 3rd or 4th man sounds like a hobosexual nuisance that’s just going to get better at hiding his shady behavior if he even cares enough to do that because every single time you take him back he is taking it as you saying you are okay with his behavior and no it will only get worse as time progresses he will be giving you little tests to see what you will allow and not allow and then start pushing your boundaries to get you to sway on even that
You already know the answer to this, he doesn’t respect you and you deserve better.
Do what u feel is right for u but in my experience it won’t work. He is always gonna find someone else to entertain him but tell u he loves u.
Girl, no he won’t change! Get away from him and find someone who makes you a priority
this guy has a good game running here .in my opinion once a cheater always a cheater . you have made his life a happy time . he is using you . and admits he is using you for a place to stay.you are his second or third choice get him out of your life NOW
Isn’t worth it he doesn’t respect you or your relationship I have gone through this for 7 years and he got that chick pregnant he has emotionally abused me as well we lost our second son from miscarriage and he blamed me for it and told me to kill myself I have finally had enough after I found out when his sister his mom and him was lying to me about that other chick manipulated me made me think we were still together I had enough of his childish games now he is mad because he lost me and his two boys we have together because of what him and his family has done no son of mine is going to grow up thinking it’s alright to treat people that way or think its alright to lie because it isn’t after having three miscarriages and their father treating me the way he did I had enough of getting hurt I didn’t even know it was emotional abuse until I told my doctor what was happening because she was seeing how me and him was doing after the loss of our second son it isn’t healthy I am now better with out him it sucks to leave someone you actually truly love but it is their loss know your worth someone out there will know how to handle you and everything that makes you…you if he did care he wouldn’t of made those choices it wouldn’t even be a thought in his head period.
Don’t settle for that you put your self first . You are worth more than that.
Hell no. RUN. You deserve to be someone’s first and only choice.
He won’t change! Simple
You deserve so much better. Remember that.
You only have one life on this earth. Don’t waste it on fools.
He’s not going to change.
He told you he used you for a place to stay.
He screws around.
He still talks to other women.
Girl, get those blinders off! He ain’t worth it. You’re not his second choice, you’re way down the list. He has a baby by you and a place to live. So he’s not going anywhere permanently until you make the final decision. Why would you want it to work with someone like him? Just because you have a baby together doesn’t mean put up with him and his ways. He does it because you let him. Stop it and do better for you kids.
I was gunna start giving the same advice as everyone else, but I know any advice given here won’t matter. Shes gunna stay. Dude is literally cheating all the time and shes still waiting for him to come back. What will be the final straw? Does he physically have to actually hook up in front her face to realize hes a piece of shit? Dude is playing her, and i bet hes prob not even that great lookin either. This sounds like a bad jerry springer episode…
Change? Ya, changing all the time.
I’m sorry for being rude here but more fool you!
“He used to cheat constantly”
Basically he cheated and you let him get away with it so he continued to do it because he could.
Sorry but absolutely no sympathy here. You showed him that you thought low enough of yourself for a man to walk all over you like you were nothing.
Kick him the fk out, arrange so he can see his kids and stuff but you should stay well away from him, work on yourself and getting your self esteem back and when you’re ready, go find yourself a real man who won’t treat you like something he dragged in on his shoe.
Ew what?? He obviously doesn’t give 2 shits about you or the “relationship” you’re trying to fix… LET THAT ISSHH GO!!! Find your worth, know your worth and leave him.
Is this post for real?
Honey know your worth . My opinion is move on never be afraid to try again . lesson learned .
He won’t change. End it now.
Girl you need a man…not a project
“He ignored me”
“He used me for a place to stay”
“He used to cheat on me consistently”
Why on earth would this be “worth saving”? Seriously. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even love himself. You don’t love yourself. You need to love yourself, dump this loser and get some therapy.