Be worried! Try talking to him about how it hurts your feelings and what he is thinking but from one that tried that and I had a bf that hated my son…guess who I chose!! MY SON!! I will choose my kids over a man any day!! Take up for your kids!!! Baby or not with him!!
It is worrisome because it’s not normal at all, you better be careful with men like that before he ends up doing something to your kids that you will regret, if you knew what I know you wouldn’t allow men like that into your house… your kids should’ve come first, not any man
Get rid of him. The kids will see he’s only tolerating them and it’ll hurt them. Plus, how dare he suggest you give your ex primary custody. All red flags. My stepdad didn’t like me and my mom selfishly stayed with him. It caused me a lot of problems growing up.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my boyfriend doesn't like my kids, advice?
Maybe bc all he can think about is the ex when he sees them? I had a parent who would see a person they hated very much when they looked at me 
Even though you have a child with him please don’t put him before your other kids.
If you feel those vibes from him imagine the vibes those 2 kids feel. Kids are very smart. Talk to your bf have a serious conversation and mention everything you just wrote in this post.
“I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t like my kids!?” You need to leave, put your children first.
There is a thing called 2nd wife syndrome…I don’t know what it’s for a man but?
You shouldn’t be with someone who dislikes your kids … No it’s not normal
Have a talk with him let him know how you feel if that’s the case hope you put your children feelings first
I would straight up tell him things need to change now or we’re done. As soon as he said that about your kids I would of left him 
to me that right there says he doesn’t care about them because they’re not his kids.
Yes this is a problem. Do not put him before your children. If you’re sensing this, so are your kids. Might need to start thinking of moving on.
I could/ would never stay with a man who thinks of my children as a burden! A man who wants you to give up time with your children and can’t wait until they are 18! Imagine how those poor babies will feel especially once his child gets older it will become more evident with favoritism! Run now for those babies! You are their voice! You are their mother and need to advocate for them! Put your babies first not the boyfriend!!!
My boyfriend had a hard life growing up when his mother remarried and his step daddy hated him even abused him but loved the two kids he had with his mom… it really happens and I’m amazed women let this happen!!
Don’t question if you should do what’s best for your kids or for him. You’re a mom before a girlfriend and there are lots of men who would be just fine with a happy meal!
I definitely would not be staying with this man! Sorry but my BF loves my son even though he hates my ex husband. He’s an amazing dad and would NEVER tell me to send him away! Your children come first and you have to protect them!!
I stopped reading after “I think my bf doesn’t like my kids” ummm it should read EX- boyfriend. Them babies come first girl
If a man doesn’t value you, honor you, make you feel safe and respected then bounce those kids come first!!!
You should talk to him and ask him how he actually feels about them. If he says the opposite of what you’re saying then explain to him how you feel and why you feel. Use I statements, and stay away from absolutes (always, never, etc…). If it feels like you’re attacking him or accusing him nothing will change because he won’t be able to take it seriously. Instead it will be an attack he must defend. After all that is out there then y’all can start discussing how to make it better.
Leave! You and your kids deserve better! 
Yeah he would be gone. Kids ALWAYS come first. They can tell how he feels about them and they might just resent you for staying. Love you picked him over them. If my husband ever made those comments or made my kids feel like they were a burden he would be gone. Both of us are huge on making all of our kids feel like they are loved and taken care of.
I’m sure these issues were there before you had a baby with him so why didn u tolerate it then and now you have an issue with it. You should have put an end to him being that way towards your kids long before know. No one should come before your kids. If you notice how he acts the kids probably do to hence the reason your one child is acting out now. How would he feel if you two aren’t together anymore and then next person treats the kid all have together the same way? Bet he wouldn’t like it. You need to put your foot down. It’s doesn’t matter how good he treats you it should always be about you kids 1st.
I have two with my current boyfriend, and one from my previous marriage, we also have him every other week. My mama very sarcastic and ridiculous too, when the kids are being bad he always says “Man, we should of just stuck with Jax(my oldest)” he’s joking obviously, but the point out trying to make is he looks at my oldest as just as much of his own as the two that are. It is absolutely not normal to hold a grudge/resentment in any way towards a child. It sounds like from the story you told he parents them well still, but with what you’re picking up, like said above, your children can pick up too. Maybe just talk to your husband about how you feel. “I feel like” statements or questions, don’t go at him obviously.
I have one word to say :: Unacceptable!
I feel like you have no boyfriend anymore. Simple fix. Kids come first.
If u feel that probably why ur son is lashing out probably feel the same way …I’d have a serious talk with ur bf and tell him straight up how u feel and do more things as a family even if it just going for a walk or beach lake whatever
Your boyfriend may not be actively “mean” to your kids but if he doesn’t want them there I guarantee they can pick up on that and therefore he should not be allowed to discipline them until that’s resolved.
I would not be with anyone who did not like my children plain and simple
You should tell him if he cant accept your children then he has to go.Kids arent stupid.If you can sense he is like he is, your children 100% can too & thats not fair on them.Time for your partner to pick what he wants
Yes…you should be worried…and your kids are a LIFE time commitment he simply doesn’t feel…
You just had a baby, it could just be hormones. But if you feel like it’s not, then talk to him about how you’re feeling and how you both can fix it
Just imagine how they feel in their own home! They know, they pick up on EVERYTHING!
Even at that young age!
If he can’t get over your ex than he needs to have a word with himself and his ego!
How he treats YOUR kids in the next couple of years will be how they think for life…
How they expect other people to treat them
Insecurities
Making friends
Literally everything in there they are at in this world.
So you need to protect how they feel qnd perceive things or he will mess up their mental health for sure!
He needs to be a man! He sounds like a bitter and spoilt little teenage boy!
Wow he can’t except your kids as his own then it would be time to get out no matter how he treats you your kids come first and telling you to give your time away being with your kids just to get them on the wknd is ridiculous he should have never said anything like that there’s your sign plus the many more you say it’s time to go for your kids sake they should feel loved not like they are a burden to him😡
This really sounds like hormones…you just had a baby…its super emotional right now. Did you feel that way before the new baby? Is he overwhelmed with the new baby?
If this isn’t new and he is infact treating the kids differently, then yes leave.
But…I did, thought, and felt some crazy stuff after having my kiddo so maybe 
Stand up for your kids . .they need your support …they have lifes problems to face.they are only young.without you helping them . You are just creating insecure .kids. . so dont blame him …
All I can say is that my son was 4 when I met my husband and as a blended family nobody can tell my husband and son are not biological. They bonded from day one and have their own Boys Club Crap they discuss and bond over. (I truly do not mind their bonding time at all) My son has never felt unloved or unwanted by either of us, and if just once he did, my husband would have been asked to leave. We also have a daughter together and truly worked hard at making sure they both knew their place in our tribe and that we love our dogs the most 
.
13 years later and we are still going strong 
Dump his ASS! Kids first
You’re children come first. If he doesn’t treat them like they are his own get rid of him. The children will suffer
It sounds like you’re spot on in thinking that your bf’s feelings of lost time are contributing to how he is with the kids. It sounds like even though he seems annoyed, he still makes an attempt to be a part of it even if it’s only discipline. The best thing you can do is have an honest conversation with him about how each of you feel and then collectively come up with a plan on what his involvement looks like. People are emotional beings and we all deserve a chance to recognize and change emotionally ruled behavior.
He knew you was a package when you met him kids aren’t stupid they know when they’re not wanted this little boy is acting out for a reason adding another kid to this problem was a big mistake he doesn’t want your kids around and your problems are just beginning
choose your children these the females that will do whatever for a man yuo need mental help asap or maybe kids taking from you
This is really heartbreaking. Parents have a choice; kids do not. We are their advocate, support, and safe place. If this pattern continues over time, as the children get older they will begin to show signs of resentment towards you and jealously towards the child you share with the bf.
Absolutely not and you should never stay with someone that will treat your children like that. My son is 4, has week on week off with his father and my husband loves my son to pieces. He treats him like his own. The favouritism of the baby that you two had together will create more behavioural problems in your son and also with your other child. He’s trying to push your kids out of the picture and at this point it comes down to who do you love more? Do you love your children? If you do then you won’t stay with someone that nasty.
I would talk to him about how he makes you feel about my babies and if he doesn’t change his way I’d personally would leave, your children should feel like they don’t belong and the older they get the worst it’s going to get cause they bigger they getting the bigger the problem… He is horrible, he wouldn’t like his child to be treated like it’s a burden… men will come and go when they please, children are forever!!!
If he loves you he should love ya ur children. Also watch he may treat his child much different than the other two and that’s definitely not ok.
If you stay with someone like that than I agree you should let your ex have them full custody because he actually will love them.
Sorry but my opinion to get rid of him. He may not be mean to those kids but he treats them differently and they will see it. And honestly they’ll probably end up resenting you for it and not him because you let it happen. I would tell him either man up and treat all these children the same and show them the same Love or tell him to kick rocks one or the other! A kid can never have too much love!! there’s no reason he can’t love those kids just as much as he loves his own! My husband of 20 years loves my first child (who it’s not biologically his) just as much as the two I had with him. He never treated them differently and I love him all the more for it! And the kids never felt different all they felt was love from their dad!
You are the adult and you feel, no, you know your boyfriend doesn’t like YOUR children don’t you think your kiddos feel it too? Perhaps that’s exactly why your 7 y/o is having “behavioral problems?” Yes you should be worried and NEVER leave your two older kids alone with him!!! He has 1 child but you have 3 to protect.
Yeah making you feel guilty for having children that inconvenience him is fucked up
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that your new/next partner will love your kids with another man.
Run run run. I speak from experience
those comments are seriously f’d up! You think annoyed? 
no he definitely doesn’t like them. You asked if it’s normal? No it’s not . Children that come with a dad or a mom are a package deal. There definitely shouldn’t be any leyway with this or excuses. I’m gonna say leave I’d never be okay with anyone treating my kids as a burden or that they are in the way because that’s nonsense. You say he loves you… You sure about that? because he wouldn’t treat your children like that because they are apart of you.
First off he knew you had children before he got with you regardless of the “reason” on why he is annoyed is irrelevant. He doesnt hate them or spend time with them but feels the need to discipline them is beyond me. So he doesnt care for them but yet wants to discipline them. Doesnt sound right. You clearly seem to be thinking of you. He treats YOU well but not your children and you know this. Your just looking for a good reason to justify why it’s ok for you to stay with a man who doesnt care for your children. You are the one who needs to speak up it’s all of us or non of us. Those little comments he makes in front of you that you allow imagine what he tells your children when your not around. Yet you try to cover it up by saying he is sarcastic smh… give their father full custody your clearly stuck in the middle and cant chose your children over a man.
Likely should not have had any children with him. He prefers his own blood and always will. Now you have a decision to make.
Some men are like that and they may not change. Ask him if he’ll ever change his point of view. If he won’t, I’d leave, cuz then your older kids will think your picking him over them. They’ll know.
Girl no just no he is not the one if he sees your children as an annoyance. 3 years though? Like why? Why have you allowed this for so long
If you feel it, imagine how your kids feel (or will feel as they grow up). Being a burden or overhearing that he doesn’t want them there. Ignoring them or not showing them any love. Treating his bio kid better than them…
If my partner told me my son should only be with me on weekends his arse wouldn’t touch the floor he would be out that door that quick
Blended families are hard. Seek family therapy 
Hold TF up, You said this guy Dosent spend ANY quality time with the kids, has made comments that you should let them live with their dad and only see you in the weekend, BUT IS BEING ALLOWED TO DISCIPLINE THEM? Ummm NO not ok, no wonder that poor kid is having BEHAVIOR problems!
Even if they were his blood he’d still act annoyed my friend pointed out how I can’t allow my daughter to be disrespectful sometimes I laugh when I should scold and she’s 5 and so funny. Maybe you need to have a family game night or watch bluey play games from the show movie night bind as a family more play video games together go places and men play differently than women maybe he’s old school. Tell him to play
I said it’s going to be a long 15 years with my own kids. Sometimes just venting helps with the stress. If he’s taking the time to discipline your children he likes them. It would be much easier to ignore the behavior. Men are more gruff around the edges and say things differently then women sometimes. Maybe you need to talk to him about finding atleast one common ground of activity to do with each of your kids and see if that helps.
YOUR CHILDREN ALWAYS COME FIRST. He knew you had children before you even got together. Your children will sense at some point any negative feelings he has towards them. Just the fact that he has mentioned changing your time with your children, should tell you it’s time to leave.
Family counseling would be great for this situation
Even just his underlying resentment about your ex husband tells you all you need to know.
He wasn’t a victim of your marriage, he had choices and made them like everyone else does.
I don’t know that history but it’s wholy unhealthy on every level for him to express he feels cheated away from time by you because you were married and had children with another man.
It may be natural to feel that way sometimes, but it’s not okay to make that a cause of stress within a family that’s trying to blend.
You know the answer already.
Your boyfriend is immature and lacks confidence. Unless you nip this hard in the bud Right Now, he will only see your passiveness as permission to behave worse and worse.
Boundaries. You’re letting him know every minute how you will allow yourself and, most important, your children to be treated.
You are their protector. Do not allow them to be molded by the tensions and negativity floating around them because you love your bf.
Be strong. Show them how to handle the business of family: Love or Get Lost.
Period.
Your kids were in your life before he came along he can get with it or get out just saying dont push your kids aside for no man…
Those children should never feel unwanted or as a burden they have to feel comfortable in their home or let them go with their dad or get the hell away because that is so unacceptable. And if you say your sons lashing out it’s because he feels it his self what’s wrong with you and did he feel this way before your child with him came along oh my my heart goes out to your children
Tell him how you feel. Be 100% honest. If he’s going to have a future with you, he needs to treat your kids as his own.
It will only get worse if he’s already counting the years until they are 18 that’s sad. Don’t pick a man over your kids no matter “how good”he is to you. Like who tf actually asks someone to spend less time with their kids?
I would never choose over my children.
He be gone, do not put a man above your kids, no wonder your 7 year old is acting out
DTMFA. anyone who makes you feel like your children are a burden is NOT someone you want to be with. They come first before anything. They will also 100% feel and internalize that.
Why has this relationship progressed if he’s always been uninterested in them…?
Best way to find out is to talk to him and listen to what he says and how he says things. Just because he is good to you doesn’t mean he is a good family man cuz a family includes ur two other kids
I had one child before I got married to my ex husband. 4 years later we had a kid. 2 years later we were devorced. He treated his kid better then my oldest. 21 years later he treats his kid like shit. His kid don’t like him cause he calls him fat, restarted, slow. I don’t put up with it. He’s my development child. U don’t treat them like shit. Now the child thinks he’s a waste of space
Was he acting like this before the baby was born? Is it stresss of a new born? I’d be honest about how you’re feeling, and what you’re seeing and explain to him that it bothers you, and then go from there. If he’s not mean to them and makes sure they have what they need I doubt he dislikes them. Also, how long as your son been acting out, could he feel like he’s being pushed to the back due to the newborn
I honestly felt similar when entering my current relationship from the toxic one I had 2 kids with prior. Me and my current now have our own on top of it. Being open about your feelings in an assertive manner and letting him know you want to work with him not against him is the best course of action. It takes time to adjust & having a blended family takes… well blending! Wishing you the best of luck 
feel free to message me if you have questions.
If a man makes me feel my kids are a burden that man is gone. Who will he blame for you walking out? Talk to him and explain how you feel and make it very clear if he feels your kids are burdens then he better not the door hit him on the way out.
Your kids are number 1. Period.
He knew you were a package deal… Your kids are a part of you. He don’t like it …he knows where the door is
Okay I’m confused! Y’all 3 used to be friends and your current BF is mas because you chose the other guy instead of him. I’m wonder if he have some sort of resentment towards you because you have children with your ex instead of him and your BF doesn’t wants you to deal with tour ex because he still jealous? Anyhow, talk to him and ask him to be 
with you. He probably is jealous of your ex and still hasn’t got over it. Your children should feel at peace, not stress.
I’m just saying that if he acts like that in front of you. Imagine what he says or does when you aren’t present. I understand you love him but it’s not worth possible putting your child through behavior that a grown adult is dishing out.
The kids are looking up to him and he is practically turning his back.
I feel when the kids are older they will very well see that and end up with behaviors or negative feelings because of that
Excuse me. But why is he taking his hate for your exon the kids. How u day his friend break up and go date your other friend. The BS and now your kids suffer it come on:woman_facepalming:t5:
have a talk with him. A clear talk with him about what his problem is…
So he doesn’t want to spend time with him, only discipline him? He doesn’t want your children to be with you the majority of the time anymore and this is just now an issue for you? If you’re not going to get rid of him, then give your children a better life by letting them live with their dad full time where they’re actually wanted, loved and respected!
NOPE… my boyfriend and I have been together some years now and the very first thing that was known is my kids come first regardless and WE are a package deal! No ifs, ands, or buts 
Their father missed nearly 5 years of their lives but I’ve always done the disciplining on the kids. Now, if my kids smart mouth me in front of my boyfriend he will let them know it’s not tolerated because I’m their mom. He doesn’t believe in that. We do not live together and we got pregnant in 2017 but he sat them down and discussed with them that nothing would change but an addition was coming. We lost the baby but he still treats the kids as his as well. He will tell you that he loves me and that means all of me which includes what’s apart of me and that’s the kids. We are not all perfect and we know this. We all discuss our feelings and come together for the kids.
Hes jealous, he will get worse as your child together gets older. Men like him want to make it look good, perform, but then blame blame blame. Mark my words, put him out. He wants you to pick him over everyone, including your kids. Hes a small man to knowingly marry you and what came with that commitment and now hes changing it up, making comments that are sticking with you…follow your instincts, there is already a pattern with what you have disclosed. Your kids will remember you allowing him to dictate and just to keep the peace, give into everything he demands or he will get angry, blame kids for things he did…
I left a 3 year relationship because the guy asked me to give my kids to their dad. Sit down and talk to him
Leave his ass. Your kids come FIRST no matter who the father is and what the past friendship was with all 3 of you. If he is acting like this now with a 7 year old, imagine how the teenage years will be. If you have to ask for anyone’s opinion on this, you already know his ass is wrong and needs to go. If you keep him around then you are choosing him over your kids wellbeing
Ummmmm he told you to give up your parenting time and only have your babies on the weekends???!?!??
Hell to the no. You need to seriously rethink this relationship.
He acts like they’re a burden because to him they ARE a burden. He’s telling you he doesn’t want them, but instead of listening (he equated your son’s childhood to a jail sentence) you post on the internet…smh
Rule 101. Kids come first. My boyfriend (6 and a half years together) and my son are besties. And my son is almost 23 with autism.
Ofc it’s normal. Not many people would want to look after other kids and at the end of the day your kids do cut into time with him. It’s a burden especially since it’s not his children. But I am sure the signs were there before you had a baby with him. Now it’s late to leave and perhaps find another man who is cool with you having 3 kids. I mean you must of known he didn’t like your kids before having a kid with hin
Having a baby with him was a good idea? First of of all he’s not even your husband get out of your relationship you kids deserve better he’s immature selfish manabe. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is it’s someone who wants to be a man & plain simple he is not you have seen & heard enough already from him that I can’t believe as a mother you put your children in this situation kick his ass out let him spend his weekend with his child as far as we have a baby together you had 2 other children first who deserve better put your own selfish needs aside you will have time for you at a later time speaking from experience if I have learned anything in my 65yrs it’s you young women have to stop being so naïve when it comes to manabe’s
Put your boyfriend in check ! Your kids come first and he shouldn’t act like that towards them , they are literally children .
Fuck that… my future man better love my kids as much as he loves me or he can gtfo
How long have you noticed this/felt this way? Is it only recent? Or do you feel he always treated them this way? It’s not cool that he says your ex took time from him by marrying you and having kids with you. The jealousy there is a concern or red flag to me. Is he hoping to replace the kids you had with your ex with his child?
At the same time, people don’t usually consider how hard it is to take on kids that aren’t yours. I have 4 step kids with my husband. They have different moms. The younger two are always with us and the older two go between mom and dads house. I have experienced a lot of different emotions over the past 6 years raising them ranging from annoyance to sometimes resentment over some of the situations I’ve inherited to the most beautiful love. I tuck the unhelpful feelings away and work through them alone or with my husband or a therapist to be the best parent to them I can be because I chose this and they deserve it. We’re having a baby any day now and I want so much for all the kids to never feel a difference in how I love or treat them. But this isn’t easy and I’ve made some sarcastic remarks at times over the years which my husband is not offended by because he knows how much I love them.
Your boyfriend needs to reel this behavior in, stop feeling sorry for himself and see those kids as his to love and be responsible for just as much as the baby. Obviously leaving him is not a light decision. You just had a baby together. I would have a good talk with him about your feelings and your kids feelings and see if he changes his behavior. A family therapist would really help. He may just be stressed. If it doesn’t improve then I would think about leaving him.
YES you should be worried. However I suspect you aren’t going to do anything about it since you’ve continued this relationship in spite of know this before having a child with this male. Seems your only real concern is that he treats YOU well. I guess your two older kids have to fend for themselves poor kis🙄
It’s absolutely not normal and you should be extremely worried. The life long effects that your children will suffer from this emotional exclusion is excruciating as I can personally attest. The wedge it will drive between you and your children, you cannot even imagine. The resentment will be unreal as will be the behaviour issues that will develop. The kids will be scapegoated for these and truly they will not be at fault whatsoever. Your new child will also have issues too… This is very serious. You need to seek guidance immediately from a family counsellor. He may be “good to you” but he is not being good to all parts of you and the most important parts of you- your children.
Sorry- he wants a family with just you and your son together and that’s not ok. Your children are a part of you. I wouldn’t want to be with any man who doesn’t love all parts of me which includes my children. I’d have to leave this relationship no matter much I love him. I love my children and children more.