So I’m pregnant with my boyfriend. And his kid’s mother is a psycho ex-drug addict. So her brain doesn’t function when it comes to common sense lol. She put a restraining order on him a little over a year ago, saying he threatened her. But we were living in a whole other state, and he didn’t even know about it. So after not hearing from his kids and no one picking up calls. He found out about it. She is moving forward. We move back to the same state shes in. And we go to Walmart. Some broad that she knows. Seen him. Then he sees me. Sees my belly — all of a sudden. His Baby Mama calls him to drop the restraining order. And is allowing him to see the kids. But I’m not allowed near the kids. There is a court date coming up. And I tell him to wait for the court date to set up schedules. But for now, he’s like I want to see my kids. So he goes. But now he’s like I gotta take them here and there. And she refuses to leave them alone with him. She wants rides here and there. Mind you; she’s had him arrested and called child services making up stories. Where later, she admits she made up. But child services don’t care about fixing it. So all this stuff she’s put him through, now she wants rides, but I’m not allowed in the car. Meanwhile, we just bought a car — Im not a new female. I have been around. I feel as though She needs to sit in that back seat and me be there, especially since I’m in my last three weeks — high Risk of pregnancy. And I need him around right now. Am I wrong for feeling this way? She should have no type of feelings about me sitting in my car and being around the kids. She has no car. But I feel like she came around just to be bitter and petty because that one broad told her " her I saw ur kids father with his girl and she’s pregnant," so she’s making everything miserable by making sure he’s never home. And away from me? When I need him the most now. I’ve missed four doctor appointments because he jumps up to go see his kids, which is fine. But I can’t come. I can’t be in my car. and I’m not allowed near her kids. He’s blind to what she is doing. But gets mad at me for her wanting to be around. Thanks in advance.
Well if its your car, keep the keys.
You all sound immature and like you are enjoying the drama. You call her a psycho with no common sense and wonder why she doesn’t want you around her kids?
This whole post seems like it’s just made for the attention. Take your 5 minutes you get from the post and wait to see what happens in court. Best of luck to all the kids involved in this situation
Fuck him. Sure his kids are important but so are you and his unborn child. Your high risk and you need him more then she dose unless the kids are hurt and need to go to the hospital or doctor he shouldn’t just drop everything expressly your doctor appointments for her.
I wouldn’t allow that, I’d be up in that car also. That’s just me though. Idk why your ex is allowing her to make the rules as well. He should’ve put his foot down and included you.
I’d tell him grow a pair or he about to have two baby mamas!!! Don’t ever allow a man to disrespect you!!! What you allow will continue. And he’s dumb as hell for being alone with someone who’s claimed abuse and filed Cps reports. He’s only asking for trouble. Know your worth.
One if ur high risk u shouldn’t not miss any appointments and u should not be left alone. She needs to grow up and if she wants a ride in ur car then she needs to sit back and shut up. And ur man needs to be on ur team stop putting u on the back burner or u need to bounce cause If he ditching u during this very important time then u might need to go be with family.
Sounds like theirs more to this story
Let him go this seems to be a no win situation he’s blind to her manipulations and finds it easier to get mad at you. If car is in your name ONLY take your keys. If he doesn’t like it he can go be with the EX I’m sure that won’t last long because she’s only playing games. Grow up and do better.
You missed 4 appointments because YOU missed 4 appointments!!! Not because he “jumps” to see his kids, what’s that gotta do with your appointments???..To see how YOUR baby is doing. Smfh. You’re having a BABYYYY- focus on YOU and YOUR child, not her and their kids. Why stoop? This is so immature. You’re a mother now, not a child.
I actually work in child services… she gave a reason that u can’t be around the children, there was a court hearing to put that in place… u would’ve been subpoenaed, u would’ve gotten paperwork or could get it… if it exists… u can’t just say someone did something to get a restraining order, a police report, evidence etc is needed… an emergency one yes but that is only 72 hours to 2 weeks and u go to court and prove something happened… plus there’s a paper trail a mile long. Someone is full of sh*z. She can’t just say u can’t be around them, it’s ur damn car, say no. We going to court
Uh no! Just no! It’s your car sis she don’t like it then no more rides plain and simple. You need that car especially right now, and he should be more mindful to you and your needs, such as days you have appointments and tell her “not today.” Sounds messy but I’d at the very least roll around with them till he goes to court to get a set schedule. and yes I’d make her sit in the back… If she gets mad the worst she can do is try to take them but with her making the court date to let him see them, she’ll look crazy and he’ll just have to fight her. But I’d tell her to kick rocks I she doesn’t like it.
Been in the SAME EXACT situation. And I’d leave bc in my case he never changed and at one point was trying to decide between the two of us. I left after a while when I should have left then. He will always bend to her will and do everything she says bc she holds the power over his kids and even him because she’s the first mother of his child or children.
Well if it was my car that bissssh would find another way to get from here to there… He had a problem and he can go f****** live with her! PeriodT
Sorry but reading this post hurt my head
If he doesn’t care enough about you and your child to keep you from missing doctor appts while he’s out running around with his ex baby mama (especially during a high risk pregnancy) I think it’s you, not him that is blind to what’s going on. I’m sorry but that’s not normal and there’s more going on than what he’s telling you. I he respected you at all he should be telling her you go or no one goes.
Why is he giving her rides
Girl im sorry I understand it he shouldn’t be he is enabling her from seeing hey where not together ill help out but ive moved on you need to get your own way around and if he is going to help her butt that much then he needs to lay the law down it don’t matter who either is with if you have nothing child related on your background she can’t control that he is allowing her to control it more than the law would… id talk to him make him aware its going to get worse and unless its signed off by a legal person then the restraining order is still in effect she can’t drop it without signing legal documents and him receiving the proof in writing by the legal entity that signed it to go in effect he better keep his guard up ive seen that card played numerous of times
He definitely should be with you as much as possible right now you do need him entirely right now he really should put her in check she may his kids mom but she is intentionally placing a wall in between yall and you guys should be focused on your new chapter with your baby
Sounds like he’s seeing both of y’all
Definitely more to this story!!!
Get rid of him to. Stupid shit, you got a baby coming and he doesn’t even know which way he’s coming or going. Many red flags
How do you even know that a friend of hers told her she seen you at Walmart & how the hell do you know exactly what she said?
Gotta be more to the story.
Focus on you & your baby.
Why is she asking for rides? Family Outings lol
Shes trying to see what she can get away with and show you she still comes first no matter what. Put your foot down and end that shit now or she wont stop.
It sounds like he is triangulating you honestly. Turning you and her against each other to hide whatever he really has going on. Huge red flags all over this post. There’s absolutely no way a grown man would let someone control them in the way it sounds like she is even with kids involved and would wait until court if she is choosing to behave in such a manner. Genuinely feel like there’s more than you realize going on. Regardless of what he told you, restraining orders do not get placed on someone without a reason. She may not be as big of a liar as he’s made her out to be.
Don’t you need some type of proof of threats to get a restraining order?
I’m a ex drug addict and I’m pretty sure my brain still has common sense just saying … if my exs new lady talked about me in such a manner I wouldnt want her around my children either for the sake they don’t hear a adult speak ignorance about their mother in front of them … as far as the rides there is boundaries that your boyfriend needs to set but he maybe afraid to piss her off and not see his kids hopefully itll clear up after y’alls court date
Girl, Take your keys and keep them only girl that should be in that vehicle is YOU. There are cabs, uber now a days Plus your at the end of your pregnancy he should be worried about you. No ex will ever ride in my car ever! What they have is now over and should only remain about the kids his ex wants a ride she can dame take a taxi lol Good luck hun
If it is your car take the keys if he refuses next time he takes your car call the cops and report it as stolen. Then pack your bags and move on. You don’t need him if his ex is more important. His kids were getting to where they needed to be before without y’all even in the same state and now they can go be a family and you can do better and clearly deserve better.
If he knows you have an appointment and he makes you take the bus that’s all kinds of fucked up. If that’s your car just keep the keys and if he asks for them tell him he can take the bus with his ex
Not wrong at all. And if he can’t respect you then you dont need that relationship. He can see his kids without being around his baby mama.
I would kick him to the curb. She is manipulating him by using the kids. Kids are not meant to be used as a weapon between parents. Until he wakes up (if he wakes up) he won’t change, but you still have time to make a clean break and fresh start.
Nah fuck that he needs to stop taking her ass ANYWHERE let her get her own mf ride he is in no way shape or form obligated to take her ANYWHERE, his kids obviously that’s fine. But her? Yeah no I dont think so the bitch can get to steppin. I dont care. If my man was doin this he better get straight real quick because I’m gonna sit in my own car and go where tf I please with him whether she likes it or not!! She has NO say whatsoever!
She doesn’t get to dictate what he does with the kids or who they’re around when they’re in his custody. If he’s on the birth certificate, and there’s not currently a custody agreement in place, legally he has a right to 50/50 custody. Even if there is an agreement in place, she can’t dictate anything. She needs to get used to the fact he’s moved on and you’re having the sibling to her children. No, you’re not wrong. She’s wrong and it sounds like she’s scared your bf into submissiveness. Call an attorney. A consultation is usually free and may knock some sense into him.
He might be cheating on you
If the restraining order was initially against him, why cant you be in the car?
Hes playing games hun. Take it from one who knows one. That fucker is a Narciscist and has you rt where he wants you
Your boyfriend should sort this out… not you…you said you are high risk…focus on self
- Hes most likely messing with her.
- You sound immature asf
- It’s not her, its him! Hes allowing this.
- Why do you think hes allowing this?? Hmm…
That’s not your man lol that’s her man now
The car is in your name or his if it is in yours get a restraining order because she sounds dangerous to me
He’s allowing it, why are you mad at her?
It is your job to communicate as well. If it is both of your car then you need to ask for the keys… If you haven’t talked to him how does he know this bothers you??? You shouldn’t be missing your appointments and If you can’t ask him for the keys then yeah others might not agree with this, then can you ask your family or friends for a ride if you can’t speak up and ask??? I was high risk with all mine and we only had one car, I made it work for myself and baby. That’s what needs to be done… Can’t force someone to change or grow up if they’re not ready…
Wow let’s bash this woman for asking advice,real mature.not everyone comes out ok after being addicted to drugs,sometimes their mind goes.
Judge for missing appt wow.
She is asking for help not to be judge or bashed.
your baby should be number one. If that’s your car then take the keys.
so she’s playing games of you haven’t spoken to him or if you have and he still does this… this is not the right man for you. please tell your head that you need to do what’s best for you and that baby. dont miss any more appointments.
believe me chasing after a guy TRYING to get him to care wont do it. it won’t make him stay or care.
I’ve lost a baby being high risk.
stand your ground and dont be helpless. you’ve come this far.
hes making up his own mind and what you see is his truth.
Why haven’t you called your mom/dad to come get you yet? If you put up with this, you encourage it and therefore you deserve it to some extent
Sorry not sorry
I would be so angry. Not just with her but for him allowing it. Your baby is the childrens sibling. His ex must get over it. She is acting childish.
And her not allowing you in the car? What is that about?
Its like she is a female on heat that is marking her territory. I would demand driving with them.
And it does not speak well of him letting you miss your dr appointments.
Everyone is so rude. She has a right to feel this way. Girl you need to have a serious talk with him and tell him your not taking this anymore. Stand up for yourself his ex is not your boss and is not his. And be careful dont stress to much
How old are you??? I feel like im reading a 13year old’s high school drama
Trust me just run quick as you possibly can
Been there my dear.
She cannot control who he has around the kids. The courts/judge/lawyers will tell her the same.
Get a lawyer.
Go straight for 50/50 or more. No child support to her.
I’ve been by my mans side for over 6yrs and we are still dealing with this crap!
Dude. Run child or not run I’m sorry. Don’t bring your child into that crazy. I’ve been there and ran it doesn’t get better. Right now he has nothing to lose with you your a sure thing. Run man run fast out of that crazy
I don’t know why anyone is scolding you on here…
It’s not like you seen the big picture immediately.
Set your boundaries and you may have to make a choice that you didn’t plan on.
He and she are playing games and it sounds really unhealthy.
You have the sense to see what happened, and you can take back some control. Sadly, it might mean that you end up single with a child… I send you prayers and strength but I have faith that your gonna be just fine no matter what!! You don’t seem like you will put up with this nonsense…
He would have known about the RO it has to be served to be in effect. Is there one on you as well? If the court hearing is about dropping the RO that’s all the judge will listen to. Their parenting schedule is an entirely different motion. He shouldn’t be going around her if there is one in effect, which it doesn’t sound like there really is if he was never served with it. I do these things for a living and they have been denied because service could not be obtained. There is WAY more to this story than what is being posted.
Plain and simple he is letting himself get used and the only one suffering is you so you should probably reevaluate the situation especially if you’re high risk and he’d rather be driving his baby mama around town
Girl he isn’t jumping to see “his kids”. Wake up. Are you that dumb? He’s tapping that shit and your pregnant with his child.
This is about you ,and him.not her.He can choose to stand up to her (you are mother of his child,so is she )or continue with this . I hope that you two can communicate and work it out.when you start a relationship with someone who has kids , you will have that other parent for life.I say this as someone with an ex and my husband has an ex ,with kids ,and it isn’t easy but it begins with him .bless you ,making a blended family is hard,and beautiful work.
He allowed you to miss 4 appointments for her? I was trying to not be skeptical until I read that. He’s into her again. It worked.
He shouldn’t be anywhere near her until he hears it from a judge that the order is dropped or he could be arrested for violating it and then he needs to file for his visitation through the courts so she can’t just change things up as she wants and that would included you being around the kids.
You only get treated a certain way based on what you allow.
Honey. There is more going on than you know about. From the sounds of it. I would bet they are a little closer than your picking up on. This is coming from a dude, leave him. Pack your shit. And LEAVE. He let you miss four appointments for his ex bbbbiiiii…it will only get worse from here. Cut your losses
Take the keys to your car. If he wants to see his kids he can pick them up without her and do it when you don’t have an appointment.
Leave the gutless wonder now
Just leave now. She was trying to get his attention again and it worked. There’s no way he doesn’t see through this crap and I’d bet anything they’re already messing around together. She’s gona continue doing this until he’s all hers again then she’ll dump him and he’ll come crawling back to you. You’re not a doormat and this seriously sounds like a bunch of teenage drama just teenagers that have babies. You teach people how to treat you and you’ve taught him that it’s ok to treat you as second best to his “crazy” ex. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do and you need to put what’s best for your baby first- not in the middle of all this drama that he has invited into your lives.
Your Drs appointments should come first and foremost!! Yeah if I’m pregnant I’m damn sure not sittin in the back seat of my own car while this bitch gets up front, nope ain’t happening. Your boyfriend is not putting you his girlfriend and baby momma first, why does he see it important to chaffer her ass around anywhere? His kids, yes, her, hell NO!! And he should respect you enough not to take her anywhere especially if your not in the car with them. He’s in a relationship with you now, she had her chance, blew it, the ex doesn’t have respect for no one tryin to come between Y’all but you definatly need to speak up and be LOUD AND CLEAR how you feel about the situation going on. If he cares for you and loves you and this child he’ll put a stop his ex going places and needing a ride and only take you and his kids. Your the new woman in his life and his kids should know you and he should put his foot down and grow a set of balls and stand up to her when it comes to you. I understand she’s used things against him in the past to keep him away from the kids but he’s got to see she’s playing cat and mouse game and it really looks like the ex is winning. She also uses the kids to her advantage and that’s really wrong, like a puppet on a string leading him around to her every back and call.
My fiances ex needed a ride once and we made her sit in the back. She couldnt drive cause she broke her foot and we did it for their son. Broken foot and crutches she rode in the back. With all the bs shes put us through shes lucky we didnt pick up my step son and make her take a cab lol
She cant control who he has around the kids. Specially once they have a court order. Right now shes using the kids against him to get what she wants and shes probably jealous hes having a baby with someone else.
He needs to put his foot down and he needs to stick up for you. Or it will never work out.
You are not wrong for feeling that way at all next time that happens just get your butt in the damn car too! Fuck what they say you are about to have him another baby!
Folks need to stop using the kids, and start raising them. Stop with the excuses and when it’s convenient for you. It’s not about you. It’s about the kids. Damit I wish these selfish a holes would realize that… Nothing against your post sorry.
You have missed four doctors appointments you are not allowed to be in the car when she and the kids are in it. He’s running around with his ex and kids. Don’t expect him in the labor ward when you give birth more than likely he will be with the ex. Sorry but I wouldn’t put up with this
No way I would be allowing him to put myself and our unborn child last to his ex partner, and you all should be equal to his other children.
There needs to be some sort of balance here, he needs to talk to her and put visitation with the kids into affect where she MEETS him there with the kids and keeps her distance while they play and spend time together etc. And he should be telling her you’re welcome to be there she doesn’t get to choose who he introduces to their kids
Kick his ass to the curb. Hes playing you.
Put your foot down! How are you going to start a family when he jumps at his exs beck an call,sounds like theres some kind of feeling still there
Oh you poor girl. You’ve missed 4 appointments?? This man has made his decision… and it’s not you and your baby…
Take the keys to YOUR car.
He can buy all their asses a bus pass.
Tell him she not allowed in your car lol
If you have family in the area, start preparing to leave. He’s either blind to her taking advantage of him or he’s cheating on you. If the car is in your name take the keys! Don’t let him treat you this way!
Sounds like his actions are speaking loud and clear to me. If he is neglecting your relationship in anyway u have mentioned above, why are u still there!?. Do u really want your child exposed to this and worse, because worse will come. Stop making excuses and get yourself set up close to your family for support and live your life without forever being a piggy in the middle trying to catch scraps. Sometimes its BETTER to just leave the trash with the trash…toxic ex’s and their relationships seap into good relationships and destroy them and the ex sounds relentlessly toxic. Take whatever’s yours and go…you and the child deserve better.
He’s the one allowing it. Put your foot down or leave.
Well I’d say you need to prioritize here. Focus on getting through this pregnancy. Then be prepared to raise and support that baby on your own just like your boyfriends other girlfriend is doing.
Until a judge tells him that the restraining order has been dropped he should not be anywhere near her. All it’s gonna take is her getting pissed at him for one little thing and you’re gonna find yourself giving birth on your own while he sits in a prison cell for violating that order. I know he’s excited about seeing his kids and wants to take every opportunity to do so, but he does not need to be driving her around everywhere whenever she wants, especially when it means that you’re missing your doctor’s appointments. As important as his children with her are, you’re unborn baby is just as important and he needs to realise that and stay away from her
Why are women like this? Like really? He made a commitment to you and knocked you up, not her. HE IS THE PROBLEM. She probably just wants him to spend time with his kids that he hasnt been around for long enough that you’re almost due pregnant and who knows how long before that he was gone. And I’m sorry but his kids come before you. As they should. Yes he should be telling her no when you have appointments but this all seems like a lot of drama to have any kids involved in.
I wouldn’t want someone who talked like that about me around my daughter either. Might want to think about WHY she wouldn’t want you around them instead of pointing fingers at her maybe questioning what your man is saying because he is probably playing yall against each other.
She isn’t your problem. Your boyfriend is the problem because he is going along with this so he’s the one I would be watching or leaving. If you stay or if you go, sounds like she got what she wanted because he let her
You picked the wrong man that’s all I got to say.
He’s choosing her over you not the kids because she is using it to get close with him and play family
Id be beating her ass honestly and your man needs to wake up. Especially you being so close to being due.
Be careful, sometimes, they come crawling back too because they may want your income to support them too. And if he’s going to play blind, and not present during birth, slap him with restraining order and keep him away from you and your baby too. Not to make matters worse, but just be cautious and aware, he’s probably hooked onto to drugs with her too.
That’s all on him to be honest. No one can tell him who can be in the car. You also can’t tell him he can’t go see his kids either. Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and talk about priorities.
That is a lot of drama. No thanks
first and foremost, calm down, don’t let his wants dictate how you feel. Take care of yourself and have a healthy baby.
He’s the problem here. If he is in a relationship and dedicated to it, he needs to put his foot down and tell her no to her demands. And She’s using the kids as pawns to keep him around which is probably the worst part of this. After the baby, sit him down and tell him what you will accept in his interactions with her and if he won’t accomodate what you need in a partner, leave. If he will, Go to court, get the visitation schedule established and make sure it is unsupervised so she has no reason to be there. Then carry on with your life. Stop tiptoeing around his and her feelings.
You need to sit down and talk to HIM! He is the problem, she may be doing all this but he is letting her and you need to take a good hard look at him and say is this the man I want to raise a baby with that just runs around and let’s me miss doctor appointments and everything else, he also needs to be careful because the restraining order may still be in place.
The law will provide a visitation schedule, very specific, that all parties have to follow.
Don’t miss drs appointments. Ask a friend, neighbor, call a cab, uber, even local churches have volunteers. Don’t play the guilt trip game.
Do things right. If he refuses at least you know where you stand.
Wait so you are high risk and he has caused you to miss 4 appointments to be at her beckoned call. Are ypu kidding me? Do you realize how messed up that is?!? Nothing good will come of this. You need to leave, ir get used to being 2nd fiddle from here on out since his priority clearly isnt you or your baby. Get out, you deserve better. Take your car too.
They both have no right to tell you ,you can not be there ,they both up to no good maybe you should think about not being with him.he acting like they married
He should not be around her or the kids until the restraining order has officially been dropped by a judge. Because she could turn around and get mad about something and next thing you know she’s saying he violated the restraining order and he’ll be in lock up and you’ll be giving birth by yourself.
Don’t let him have your car
You need to have a talk with him. Hes the one allowing her to control his moves. I wouldn’t let him take your car. No one should he able to tell you that you cant be in your own car.
Girl, by the sounds of this you and her may become friends in the future when hes off with the next one.
Also : do know that if a JUDGE didn’t drop that order its some kinda stupid for him to be near her.
Until the restraining order is lifted he should not be there. She can not give him permission to violate the restraining order and he can get arrested.
I’ve been there I was 20 almost lost my baby because of all the stress. He couldnt keep a job because of it either. I stayed in an unhealthy relationship until he died in a car accident 1 yr after our baby was born. Learn from my mistake tell him to leave it may wake him up! In all honesty though she will not stop til he stands up to her through the court system!
Youre high risk and he chooses her abd makes you miss 4 dr appointments!!! Youre kidding right? Hell no. Tell him to fix that shit or youre out. If he keeps choosing her… Throw the whole man away.
Leave him. You are high risk pregnancy and he isn’t taking you to drs appointments. Move back with your family, and work on coparenting. He is choosing her over you, choose to be happy and focus on your baby instead if this drama.