I’m a first-time mom; I only have one child. A daughter, she’s 3, will be 4 in May. Short back story; My parents and the daycare spoil her to the max. I have asked them to stop doing certain things because it affects me as a parent. But now I feel she’s too sensitive; I feel because she’s been spoiled for so long that when it comes to the word no or doing something simple like picking up toys, she has a complete meltdown. ( I don’t wanna hear because she’s three that’s what gonna happen) I will ask her calmly to pick up her toys; shell walks around for a bit till I ask again, and then she’ll start crying, saying no and trying to get me to hug her 15 million times before picking up her toys. It’s usually only a few toys, and she knows she needs to pick them up if she’s not gonna play with them. Just this morning, she cried the whole time while doing her hair. She does this every morning too. I think she would be used to getting her hair done by now. She’ll ask for something, and I’ll calmly tell her she needs to wait until we get home and she’ll cry until she gets what she wants. She is also behind on her speech, which we are doing speech therapy for. But it’s still a work in progress so trying to understand what she wants is difficult but now I think she’s just playing me cause she’s so used to be spoiled and I’m over the crying for no reason, and I just wanna know if anyone had to deal with this? I’m taking her to doctors to see if we need some type of behavioral therapy or if I can somehow break this habit at home.
Watch supernanny. I have 4 kids of my own. Their craaaaaycraaaaay. Her methods work lol. Consistensy pays off and dont give in and dont give up. You got this momma. You have a voice let them hear it.
She’s three. That’s what’s gonna happen.
Let her cry. Don’t give in to what she wants if she isn’t behaving. I make my son go to his room if he wants to cry and carry on. And as far a toys I usually help him pick up stuff and make it a game. Like who can do it quicker
Daycare spoils her? That’s weird
I know u don’t want to hear it but it is actually just her age its completely normal my 2(3 next week) does this on a daily basis
Dont be surprised if the doctors tell you what you don’t want to hear. Honestly… …child development…SHE IS THREE…whether you want to hear that or not.
Consistency and discipline! You have to set boundaries and honestly I would make a discipline chart for babysitter or grandparents to follow too. If they can’t follow the rules tell them you will have to cut time with them because your daughter is more important. Part of this is because she is 3 though!
Children go through phases even without others spoiling them. My almost 3 year old has never been spoiled by my husband or I but has recently become overly sensitive at times as well. Its a phase. Itll pass. I know you said you dont want to hear it but she is 3. She is constantly going to go through changes with or without help.
That’s not being spoiled. Thats just a normal toddler.
My 3 year old is pretty much exactly what your saying yours is. I patiently wait for her to stop her tantrum and try to make it look fun to pick up. And she hates me to do her hair still! Sounds like she’s on the right child development to me. I have 5 kiddos ages 14, 13, 11, 5, and 3. Just stay consistent, eventually she will be that we’ll behaved preschooler you’re looking for.
My granddaughter is the same way but she’s 5 and I am here to spoil her
You have to make all behavior you don’t want to see counterproductive. Whining, crying and saying no should not lead to her getting what she wants, or she will do more of it. It’s tough but be firm.
This is my opinion on this. Daycare and grandparents aren’t the ones to discipline children. It’s up to the parent to discipline etc. I would want my parents and any daycare I take my son to to spoil them to an extent. I don’t want them telling him no to things I let him do etc. it’s hard the next day after my parents watch my son which is almost 2 1/2 years old. He is Whiney and bratty but I put my foot down with him and don’t let him get away with things that he can at their house.
I think all kids are worse for mom. I asked my 3 year old to pickup and an hour long meltdown resulting in time out. Dad came home said pickup so he happily skipped over to do it. I’ll bet at daycare she picks up, trust me I have a daycare and kids whose parents are saying is my child ok for you have the same battles but the kids are awesome here for me. In essence toddlers are jerks at the core so I hate to say it’s likely a phase but it probably is and just draw your battle lines and stick to them. God speed mama!!
My kids stay home with me throw fits and cry when I ask them to clean up. So I would say she is just being a typical child
Yea…and then he started to GROW out of it…this literally all sounds completely normal 🤦🤦 cherish the people who love her, not all kids have that
You mentioned that she has a speech delay. I recommend working with speech teacher on her communication skills. It sounds her communication skills are limiting her. When she has better communication strategies the crying spells will decrease. Other caregivers could probably use more strategies as well to help her.
Ok so, try and find a way to make the activity fun (clean up games and songs) you don’t have to actually pick up toys but if she feels you are doing stuff too she will want to.for hair brushing let her do it first and the after, putting it up give her a few choices on Wich hair tie/bow to use. The crying because she wants something is just gonna take time and patience
She’s a NORMAL 3 year old… Maybe you need parenting classes so you know what to expect and how to properly handle a 3 year old child.
Totally normal at that age. My daughter does the same and we spoil her and all of my children and my 3 almost 4 year old tells me I’m mean if she has to pick up toys or whatever lol I would just continue to be strict at home with her and eventually things should get better. Maybe also continuing to communicate with daycare and your parents. Good luck, but having raised 3 little ones, the toddler stage is the worst. Most days I wanna run away.
She’s pushing you to see what she can get away with. You’re mom. Children always act worse for their mothers than they do for anyone else. Just be consistent with any punishment you deal out.
I have a 5 yr. Old girl and she does the same thing. Id say its only the beginning. You cant discipline emotions out of a child…
Hate to say it, but I think it’s fairly normal behavior for a 3 year old- especially one with a speech delay. I think you might be expecting more from her than she is capable of at her age and developmental level. Be consistent but tell her what you are doing, don’t just spring something on her. If she needs to clean her toys- help her stay focused, continue to redirect and ask her to put her toys away. Give her a logical consequence for not putting her toys up. (Please put your toys away. I have asked you twice. If Mommy has to clean them up, mommy will take them and you won’t get to play with them for the rest of the day.)
Omg she’s 3 a toddler. She sounds normal. You definitely sound like a first time mom who thinks she’s guna have a child who listens without issue since the get go. Her behavior is pretty normal your expectations are not.
You just described my 4 year old. Kids are always going to push boundaries
I know you don’t wanna hear it but… She is three and that is a normal response because she doesn’t understand how to express herself appropriately. Hence why discipline and consistency is needed. As for the hair my ten year old daughter still has issues with brushing her hair because she has an over sensitive scalp, if anything try a different brush and detangler especially if she has long hair, or if it’s super thick get it thinned out. You also have to remember that kids feed off of your emotions as well so if she’s getting upset maybe check how your responding to the situation, it can make all the difference.
Likeee I know you said you don’t wanna hear it but that’s literally a toddler. She’s testing her boundaries. My kids are 7,4,2 and they still cry when I make them clean. I don’t know many kids who don’t cry/complain when they are made to clean. My seven year old is a girl and she still fusses when I do her hair. She hates it when I brush it or do anything with it. Hell I remember throwing fits when my mom tried to do my hair. My four year old is a boy and will do the same stuff your daughter does when I ask him to clean. He’ll wander around and pretend like he’s doing something until I ask again. He also has a speech issue. It’s gotten better, but still have issues understanding him a lot of the time. I don’t know why you think she’s faking that. Like unless you’ve heard her talk completely normal without the speech issues and then all of a sudden she does it when she wants something I wouldn’t think she was faking it. Parents attitude matters when dealing with kids and kids are usually Naughtier with parents than other people because that’s supposed to be their safe place. Consistency is key. She’s 3 give her some time. Just because she doesn’t listen doesn’t mean she needs to be in therapy or out on medicine and I hope a doctor doesn’t automatically try that either. They need time to learn and test limits and deal with consequences.
My daughter is 2 1/2 and man if this isnt her! I have 5 boys 1 girl and in my experience girls are emotional, curious, and will test your sanity 25/7 the best advice i can give you is keep trying and please stay patient this will pass but not until you wanna rip your hair out lol
But she is three it WILL happen. She’s a child you can’t expect her to act like a grown adult.
Maybe she’s over tired. My 4 year old son has been acting like this about picking toys up. I just tell him I’ll take them and he can’t play with them anymore
I know you asked not to hear it but… it really is an age thing. 3-4 year olds go through developmental stages, pushing boundaries is one of those stages. It should get better by the time she is through her 4s.
Sounds completely normal to me. All three of mine were like that.
This is just a part if her age… its not her being “spoiled” shes 3. She is going to test boundaries. Sit down a buckle up butter cup. It isnt everyone else fault shes a typicsl 3 year old.
That’s not being spoiled.
It’s a phase, and perfectly normal, healthy development for that age.
Try looking up three year old or four year old behavior on Google. Or even Pinterest. Might help you get clarity on what to expect from each age.
She’s doing it for attention, if you stop rewarding bad behavior she will get the point.
Sounds exactly like my 4 year old. Except the speech part. That was also my eldest and he had the speech delay. It will pass I promise. Just hold on. Lol
My son is the same way, but he’s also very spoiled by others even when I ask them not too
If i were you I’d just keep doing what your doing. It can be hard but if you stay consistent then eventually she will get the hang of it. You could also always make it into a game. That’s what I do with my kids (1 and 3). I always try to make cleaning up fun so they want to do it. For example I tell my son let’s see who can clean up faster and we have a cleaning race lol or with certain toys we throw it into the container in belongs in (to see if we can make it in)
Completely normal no need go doctor because they are there to help people that are sick.
All 3 of mine were that way. I look back now and laugh. Hang in there mama
Sounds like you give in to her just to shut her up as well. No means no and you’ve got to stick to it no matter how long she cries.
First time mom feels is real and alot of things bother 1st time moms…This is normal but at same time if you are emotional or things bother you alot it could be post partum depression. It can happen after birth or many years later. May want to look into that too💗
She’s not crying for no reason, she’s crying because she can’t articulate her thoughts in way that you can understand.
I’ve found the best way to prevent ‘crying for no reason’ is to take a good look at what I am doing wrong. Am I using a loud, rough voice? Maybe i should try taking a deep breath and calmly explaining my expectations again. Did I give them time to adjust to what is happening? Maybe next time I will give a ten minute and a five minute warning.
3 in my opinion is the worst age!!
Kids know what they can get away with and with who.
Try introducing sign language for a few things like yes/no, more, pick up, etc they are very simple and will help with communication. 3 of my kids needed speech and doing these little changes helped tremendously
How do you get a 3 year old to consistanly pick up their toys? My boy is 6 and it’s still a struggle.
Definitely sounds normal to me. Especially at the age 3!
“I dont wanna hear that because she is 3 thats what is gonna happen” sorry honey but you have a toddler not a robot! They have emotions and bad days and simply dont want to do what they are told thats why they need parents to teach them the correct behaviors and the correct ways to handle things! And you said sometimes you cant understand what she wants, how would you feel if you tried telling someone what you wanted and needed and they couldn’t understand you to help get you what you wanted or needed except shes a 3yo she doesnt know how to react! Be calm and patient and consistent and keep working on speech therapy to be able to better understand her!
I have worked with hundreds of kids over more than 20 years and then had my own 2. Nothing prepares you for your own, they will give you the hardest time over anyone else.
The years between like 2 and 6 were a nightmare because I have 2 girls that are 15 months apart.
The whining, fits and constant drama. Yikes.
My favorite years are between about 6 and 13 until they turn into just hateful nasty teenagers! Lol
It’s kind of hard to spoil a kid at daycare,
it’s just a different schedule and kids are less likely to test a teacher or someone beside their parents.
And a different perspective on the grandparents.
I would do just about anything for my children to have their grandparents here to spoil them rotten. I do not have any living parents or grandparents myself.
There is such a special bond because they are no longer the Authoritative parent who asked to say no.
I think it’s important to pick your battles and this one is not high on the list.
Has she been screened for autism? I ask because of the speech delay, and what seems to be sensory issue. (The hugging & hating having her hair fixed. )
Just be firm. My grandson was living with us for a while and he never had to clean up at his other grammys so he didn’t want to here(he always had to here before he moved in). I would ask if he would like me to help and if he said “yes” I told him ok. Then after you can help me clean up.
Please research cognitive abilities in children. She just doesnt really have that level of ability yet, help her to self regulate emotions by not being emotional yourself, try to find a way to be calm and just sit with her and definitely hug her if she asked. The average person needs 8 hugs a day, a small child needs up to 15. Please try and understand she just isnt capable of these things yet.
My son is 6.5. He still throws a fit about cleaning up. I have to sit in the room and guide him on what to clean up. He gets overwhelmed easily. I have found telling them what to pick up instead of just a general clean up works best. But how is the daycare and your parents spoiling them? You cant really expect a 3 year old to clean up a lot. They just dont understand that yet. Toddlers are messy and they see no issues with it lol
I know you don’t want to hear it, but she’s 3. That’s what 3 year olds do.
… But that sounds like a normal thing for her age … Lmfao she’s a toddler. My daughter can sit for an hour and have her hair done and then the next day I can brush her hair one time and she has a meltdown. Picking up her toys? Do you know how many of her toys I’ve had to put in garbage bags and put out of sight cause she refused to pick them up? This is literally what toddlers do. Don’t get me wrong, my daughter when she’s in a good mood will help me pick up her stuff, but she won’t do it alone.
She’s a toddler…
You did not give a single example of anyone spoiling her…
If getting her hair done is painful or uncomfortable that’s not something you should expect her to “get used to”…
None of what you have wrote indicates her being spoilt? Just sounds like a 3 year old. Be consistant. Explain how and when things are going to happen and stick to it. She’ll learn who and what she can use to her advantage, and that’ll be a rod for their back. You just stick to your guns.
So something that I’m dealing with right now, is my sons speech was way behind due to multiple ear infections. He just got tubes last week. Prior to tubes, he would meltdown because we didn’t understand what he wants. She’s only three, and she really isn’t a robot. The fact that you say her speech is behind is putting up a flag for me because perhaps her meltdowns are pure frustration. We have to remember that just because we are the parent doesn’t mean that we tell them to jump and they do it. It’s always give and take and I encourage you to get to the root of the meltdowns. They don’t just do it for no reason. Maybe you put a pink bow in her hair but she wanted purple. I found giving him choices, “this shirt or that shirt” and saying “show me what you’d like” when he couldn’t communicate helped a bunch. Goodluck mama.
You said you don’t want to hear it but SHE IS 3!
Seriously at 3 they are testing everything!! I hated age 3 to me honestly the worst!
I have a 5 and 7 year old that still whine and cry when they have to pick things up. It’s kids it is what they do.
Please, by all means, take her to her doctor so a professional can teach you about child development and be the one to tell you she’s 3 They still need redirection and to be taught, not just told. They have meltdowns because they’re learning to process feelings and emotions and adults don’t even always do that. If you mix all the normal challenges with a speech delay causing her frustration with communication, there’s no discipline that will help. She literally can’t help what you’re upset with her for and probably won’t be able to for a while because of how a 3 year old brain is wired and that she needs extra help with speech.
If she has a speech delay has it ever crossed your mind that she may have trouble processing and expressing her own feelings and the only way she can do so is by crying? Have you considered a developmental pediatrician in case she has a developmental delay? Be thankful that your child has people who love her and spoil her. It can be frustrating but you as the parent need to take the initiative and see why the crying is happening, especially when there’s a speech delay. Saying you don’t want to hear that that’s how a toddler acts sounds very childish and it might be that you are just wanting to blame someone.
What do you do when she cries? Stand firm and hard and not giving in? Or show her that you understand that she wants this or that, but for right now that’s not possible?
“Mom, please…I waaaaaant that lollipop noooooow!”
“I know, and lollipops are sooo yummy… But we don’t eat lollipops before dinner. You can have one another day, I promise”
Sit down in front of her while saying it calmly and then ask her if she wants to help with dinner now…
- she feels heard on her “need”
- your no wasn’t said in a harsh way
- you’re talking with her, not to her
- by asking her to help you, you are not creating a gab between you two after saying no, but building a bridge
- the more you talk with her like this, the better her speech will get.
This is very normal behavior for a 3 year old child.
Sounds like a typical 3 year old.
The speech delay, difficulty with demand avoidance, and sensory issues with brushing have me wondering if she is neurodivergent with sensory processing difficulties.
A lot of your expectations of behavior are not developmentally appropriate. Add in communication and sensory needs, and it may cause a dysfunction and ineffective pattern between you two.
Look up parenting resources and deescalation techniques for autistic girls with a pda profile. Also look up sensory diet (this isn’t food but heavy work throughout the day to regulate nervous system). There may be some awesome tools that can help. Takes a bit of practice but the end result is a much calmer and happy home for everyone.
My kids always clean up there room or messes they make I set a standard for my kids and my household and we all abide by it and they all started picking up their toys, clothes, shoes in their shoe rack, dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket etc. at 1 it wasn’t perfect but at age 3 they knew how to clean up. rooms have to be cleaned before we leave the house and before bed. Don’t let anyone tell you there only 3, my kids 4 & 11 are very independent, & self sufficient. Idk about learning disabilities though
You want to know if anyone had to deal with this, yes “she’s three, that is what is going to happen” but you don’t want to hear that so I got nothing for you.
Make it into a song or a game for her, will still get the job done only it will be more fun for her and not as hard work for you, if she anything like my little girl was you better buckle up , we want our daughters to be strong and independent thinkers just not when we want them to do stuff
Sounds like a 3 year old ffs
Yes. I have had to deal with this terrible behavior four times with all four of my kids…because toddlers suck
Lol she’s a kid. Kids are frustrating. She’s 3 and still learning.
That’s literally normal behavior for a child none of what you said hints at being spoiled.
That’s not spoiled. That’s her testing you. Give her a warning, “in 5 minutes you need to pick up your toys. It’s almost bed time.” Then “ok honey, it’s time to clean up.” It’s ok to help her but if she walks away grab a box or bag & start cleaning up. Don’t say anything to her. Then calmly put it in your room or somewhere she doesn’t have access too. Say nothing. If she asks where her toy is say “well remember when I asked you to clean up & you refused?” “I put them away for you.” Expect a tantrum. When she’s calm explain to her that when she picks up her toys you’ll give her the toys back. Follow through. “I see you’re picking up your toys! You can have these back to play with tomorrow.” You have to be consistent & calm. It works.
You have a 3 year old- not a 33 year old. This is all pretty normal. Are you a drill sergeant or a mother?
Unpopular opinion- and NO I’m not going to say it’s because she’s three. Literally everyone on here is saying that which I find to be so rude and not an actual solution. I have a spirited 3 almost 4 year old that is very similar in behavior except no speech delay. Her speech is advanced and she still has mega melt downs. My best advice is for you to take care of your mental health. That’s right! Worry about how you are feeling. Are you resting enough? Enough showers? Enough food? Enough pampering and self care? Enough time away where you can do something you want to do? That’s what makes dealing with this behavior easier. I noticed that time away is so important. You need to breathe and be OK so you can manage the incessant crying and whining and behaviors of a 3 year old. You need a clear mind to handle how to keep guiding your daughter through this tough stage of life.
Most of her behavior sounds normal, you must be more of an authoritative parent, which has its pros and cons. I’m like that… so don’t take offense… but… ease up. We can not expect our kids to act like well trained mini adults. She also can’t communicate so well at the age of 3. It doesn’t sound like she’s spoiled from what you wrote… she might not be a morning person either… it sounds like several things are going on.
Maybe you need to evaluate yourself and realize that kids out out more with momma… especially when they are so little. It’s their safe place. You should spend some time in play groups and volunteer to help at the daycare as well as when she’s in school so that you can better gauge how kids behave… also the staff and other parents will give you more insight on these matters in person. Some might be able to help you distinguish how and why your child is acting how she’s acting. Also take it with a grain of salt… because some people can influence and or plant ideas that aren’t necessary.
Best wishes to you and your sweet baby…
Age 3 is worse than the terrible 2s in my opinion. They are learning they can have opinions, so they are going to test boundaries.
Dont care if you dont want to hear it but guess what… she is 3, its gonna happen lmfao
My son is 5 and he has melt downs all the time he doesn’t like cleaning anything up and throws fits when he doesn’t get his way 🤷 he was a very fussy baby as well and he’s not grew out of it yet I’m hoping he eventually does but I just chalk it up to that’s what kids do they have good days and bad days just like adults and they will test you like no other but that’s the joy of having children
Whether you WANT to hear it or not… Guess what? THAT’S WHAT 3 YEAR OLDS DO. By all means, go to the doctor. Have them tell you where you can take child development classes to learn how to deal with a child.
Might I suggest a few books about kids, starting with the 5 languages of love for kids… as well as playtime, and the gift of imperfect parenting… make sure you read books or listen to audiobooks pertaining to your child’s age… all have great psychological breakdowns of what to expect and how to manage each stage.
Let your “no’s” be “no’s” and your “yes’s” be “yes’s”! Maybe check into switching day care if it’s that bad. And as for grandparents… haha that’s their prerogative that’s what they do. And also make her use her words that will help with speach thats not a behavioral problem.
Eh, I understand the frustration, but the way others treat her doesn’t impact your parenting. Kids figure out what they can get away with from who and so they’ll definitely take advantage if they can.
Please explore other ways to interest her, picking up- play the clean up game, do it with her and encourage her to help. My 12yo still hates getting her hair done… I always give a toothbrush while doing hair, it keeps them busy and they’re being big girls…
You’ll be okay, pick your battles!
The terrible threes. Lmao behaviour health they gonna laugh at ya. Maybe not to your face but they gonna laugh.
If she doesn’t clean up her things disappear let her know that and your house will be clean.
It’s the grandparents job to spoil the shit out of them. She’s three and she sounds like she’s sensitive. Tell her what needs to happen but give her time to process the request.
“In 10 minutes you are going to need to pick up your toys. I’ll give you a heads up in 5 minutes that you have 5 minutes left. Start thinking about what song you want playing while you pick up. After the toys are picked up we can take a snack break.”
Give her the five minute warning and then let her choose what song to play while she picks up. Give her a couple snack options to think about while picking up.
As far as the hair brushing: I combed my daughters hair out in the tub with cream rinse in it so it didn’t hurt, then rinsed it and braided it while she was playing in the tub. No tears.
She’s a kid. Not just 3. Shes delayed in speech which is definitely contributing towards her meltdowns. Maybe speak to her speech therapist too. You have the right to be upset angry. But remember you are not alone. All parents moan about cleaning up after the kids. We all go through meltdowns daily. Unfortunately getting her to understand that you will stand your ground is different. You have to stick to a stick No is no. Even if nan and day care do else. When shes with you its mums rules. Maybe do toy jail, invest in a sticker reward chart and praise for good behaviour, you will see progress but don’t expect it soo soon.
It sounds exactly like what you don’t want to hear. This is coming from someone that has taken child development classes, parenting classes, and has two teenagers and a toddler.
Sounds like my 4 soon to be 5 year old daughter! Lol Lord help us
Just put her on ridilin just like everyone does that doesn’t want to deal with their child being “spoiled” that’s probably what the Dr is going to recommend and your going to agree. Wow taking a child to the Dr for a being a child. You didn’t even have to tell us you were a first time mom, we can tell.
Behavioral therapy? My daughter is almost the exact same age (4 in June) & has been the easiest going child ever, always let me do her hair without complaint, & seriously the sweetest child ever. Well, about two months after she turned 3, the tables turned. For some odd reason she now thinks she’s the boss? Lol it’s literally just them learning who they are & what they can get away with. Don’t give into her demands, sit through the tantrums, calmly is ideal but we’re all human, explain to her why things are the way they are. Also, don’t forget she’s human too & bad days happen. Most likely not spoiled, most definitely THREE.
My 8 year old had a speech problem. He is doing better but because of speech delay he is reading at 1st grade level. Shell get there
My ASD (autistic) son is the same.way. how I got him to pick up his toys when getting stars for doing his chores didn’t work was I threw them away. if I ask twice and they didn’t get picked up, to the trash they go. Sometimes he will.whine and cry but oh well as. Long as they get picked up. He’s an only child too and we spoil him for the most part but we also have rules he must follow. If he wants a certain toy, outing, or video games he must earn it by doing his chores and following the rules. He is 7, we have been doing this routine and rules since he was 2. Try setting chores (age appropriate ones) for hers and at least 4 major rules with long term reward goals, and 4 daily short-term rewarded goals she must meet. Also anything like not whining when told no or to wait immediately reward her either with a hug, a encouraging word, or a treat.
I would tell mine to pick the toys up. When this did not occur the toys went into time out in the attic for a week
You never said what the teacher and grandparents do to spoil ur child. She’s 3! She’s going to have meltdowns. Having a speech delay could absolutely causing her meltdowns. U want to take her for behavioral therapy and to see if the dr can break the habit?! Wtf she’s 3. Been more patient!!!
You say you don’t want to hear it’s bc she is three but… She is three and her behavior sounds pretty average for her age and situation. If she is having a hard time communicating it must make it very frustrating for her.
Any child, or dog, or even a pig will do what works. If crying keeps you from doing something you don’t want to do, you or I will bawl like a drama queen in a chick flick! Yes, she’s 3. She’s seeing what works with multiple adults in her life. I’m guessing here, but she might be very tired when she’s with you, or just awakened to get up and going. The only person harder to deal with than a toddler is a tired, cranky toddler! The most valuable lesson I ever learned from my MIL was to tell a toddler in mid-howl, “I’m sorry that you’re crying. You must be tired. Go get on your bed and rest awhile. When you’re calm enough to use your words, we’ll work it all out.” When the temper tantrum is over, make sure the thing you asked her to do is still waiting for her to do it. She gets comfort, reassurance, and NO reward for the tantrum if the purpose was avoidance. It is more successful if all adults who interact with her do the same thing.
Ease up. Obviously the type of discipline you’re offering isn’t working. Try to be positive and reinforce “good” feelings with things like cleaning up and doing hair. If she associates it with you getting angry or mean she is just going to hate doing it more. Maybe play music while cleaning and doing hair, tell stories, make games out of it. Maybe the way you are doing her hair hurts her? If she has knots, try conditioner or bedhead spray. Ask her how she wants her hair done, and she may be more willing because she has the choice. Or maybe just don’t do her hair, brush it and leave it down, not everyone likes tight braids or ponytails. I think your expectations are too high for her age. Having tantrums is a normal part of being three because she feels frustrated and doesn’t know how to process it yet. Talk her through her feelings, but also make sure that you’re calm when it happens, and it’ll eventually get better. Don’t make her feel like a freak or a disappointment or anything like that if she isn’t developing exactly how you’d like. Positive reinforcement.
Lol well wether you want to hear it or not, it’s her age. She isn’t an adult don’t expect her to act like one. She’s still a baby.
Discipline. Let’s your no’s be no’s and not give into her. If she doesn’t want to do it then discipline her. Let her know your the boss and what you say goes. If you give in to her all the time she will over run you whenever she wants to.