Hi mamas I need opinions. My daughter turned 9 and is only child and super social. She tends to bring things from home to show off at school and her teacher gets irritated and takes it away. Today she had this notebook and was told she would get it back on the last day I school. I feel it’s harsh, am I over reacting? She also had some kind of note or drawing out probably disrupting class a few months ago and the teacher threw it away. I don’t think that was fair. We have had some other issues with this teacher and basically communication is not stongpoint. We find her to be quite strict and actually cold. We want to talk to the principal but don’t want her to make our kids time there worse. Our daughter also doesn’t feel liked by her and tells me stories of other kids getting treated nicer. One story is a new girl joined the class and this new girl and one of my daughters good friends became close to the new girl. My daughter took it hard and got jealous and there was drama. The teacher seemed like she had no tolerance. Are kids not allowed to get jealous at 8/9? I feel like she wants perfect behavior. She has shown a liking to the new girl like taking her side to things which I also find unfair. In the monthly class newsletter the teacher mentioned they were working on emotions and went to say the ones causing issues identified as female. How does that even matter??? I know another mom who’s daughter had the same teacher yrs ago and the child was told she was too quiet ( she was one of those quiet shy studious kinds). I don’t know if the teacher picks on some kids ? One time we got an email that out daughter didn’t do her homework. It turned out she did just had done the wrong page. But an email over one time? Really? What do I do I mean school is almost out but it bothers me.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my daughters teacher is singling her out: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
She needs to learn rules sounds like you do too
Don’t let her take things to school that will disrupt the class? Only child or not, school is for learning not showing off. Why would you want her to make other kids jealous? That’s not nice. Sounds like the teacher is teaching her what you are not.
I try and be good with my childrens teachers and I pop onto the classroom to see how things are going and help out if the teachers need me to and that helps with problems
Sounds like you need to make her accountable for her behavior. And you need to step in and make her understand there are rules at school and she needs to follow them
To be honest MOST classrooms don’t allow “items from home” because it’s a distraction and can cause a lot of issues with other children who may not be able to afford or have the same items.
So taking a notebook away (most likely because your daughter was being a distraction with the notebook doesn’t sounds harsh at all)
Stop allowing your daughter to take items from home to school?
And if you feel there is a mistreatment towards your daughter email the teacher directly, ask her questions and be prepared to hear her side and go from there. If you don’t agree with the conversation then talk to your daughter again, and possibly the principal. There is always more to the story.
I am all for trusting your children and standing up for your child, But sometimes kids can exaggerate.
Seriously? The self entitlement is ridiculous 🫤
My son was in the habit of doing this but it’s not good as other children could steal your child’s belongings or wreck them ? She could lose it what good is that then when she can just leave it safe at home it sounds to me like you like to show off your daughter’s things she doesn’t need to be taking those things to school ,school is a learning place she’s not there for show and tell, and also the teacher sounds bitter too maybe you two need to talk it out.
I swear i read this a while ago. Even had the same story about the jealousy over the new girl. And the emotions learning thing and the “girl” having problems. Taking things from the girl and singling her out for being “bad”
I would go and have talk with the teacher first go and get your child’s stuff that was taken away and then address the other issues.
We have a rule at the daycare that you can’t bring personal toys, jewelry, or anything that can cause disruption or can be lost/stolen. Kids can be jealous, it’s normal, however it shouldn’t cause disruption in the classroom. Maybe you need a parent teacher conference to discuss your concerns and actually hear the teacher out.
My son brought pokemon cards to school without ke knowing and the teacher took it until the end of the school year. I felt that was right and I had a talk with my son about keeping our personal items at home… I mean common sense no?
Talk to the principal. Explain what has happened and how it made you and your daughter feel. Tell him that you don’t want this making your daughter‘s school experience any harder than it has to be, and that you don’t want her grades affected. I don’t feel like this teacher is doing right. It might be beneficial to have three way conversation with the teacher and the principal.
Maybe you should enroll her in a private school where they don’t stifle children’s creativity. I absolutely hate public schools and alot of the teachers are rude to children.
Sounds like you both have a problem following rules why do you let her take things to school to show off . Stop blaming the teacher for being mean and start teaching your daughter to take accountable for her actions and her behaviors
The entitlement here is overwhelming! Obviously you think your daughter is exempt from rules ! Maybe you should sit with this teacher and your daughter to find out who the problem really is. I bet it’s you!
Your kid needs to follow rules but as for the teacher throwing away things and taking them to the end of the year I would write a note saying that you’ll pick up items that are taken away from her.
So you think that your daughter is being singled out for bringing things to school that she shouldn’t. Rules aren’t important to you or for her to follow?? Lady you are the problem.
Go get the stuff back, have a chat with the teacher and hold your daughter accountable
follow your instinct and do something
Seems like you need to learn rules and the discipline that comes with disobeying. Have a meeting with the teacher and the school counselor. Be an adult, dont be accusatory.Ask questions and get answers so everyone is on the same page. Then if it escalaates then follow the chain of command.
Sounds like you’re the problem, maybe sit down in front of a mirror and have a long talk with yourself…
Theres a lot in life thats not fair. But there are biggee issues in life than throwing a drawing away. Teach her that for every action theres a consequence. Remember there are also 3 sides to a story. Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt and ask for a parent conference
All kids are disruptive but some are more than others
Go with you gut if you feel this teacher isnt being fair to your Daughter…Then id have a chat with the headteacher if you feel you couldn’t approach the teacher directly…
I had trouble with a teacher around the same age…I was struggling with maths and instead of helping me and explaining things…She just told me it was wrong and sent me away…So everyday i was faced with this maths problem i didn’t grasp and the teacher left me to it…I really struggled and used to get stomach pains before leaving for school…My mum ended up changing my maths class…Some teachers just dont have patience
Just tell her to shrug it off. It happens. At least the teacher isn’t slapping her like happened to me at that age!
Sounds like your daughter just disrupts the class a lot and you’re not doing much to prevent it
Maybe you can go talk to her teacher and find out from her what the deal is?
Sounds like your daughter and you are the problem.
Sub once and you’ll understand why kids should NEVER bring things from home. Stop letting her take stuff. It’s not cute. It’s disruptive.
I think this is more of a you issue. Schools, daycares, etc almost never allow things from home because they cause major distractions and then other kids will want to bring things from home etc. if you kept allowing her to bring things from home I don’t blame the teacher for taking that step. This doesn’t sound like a teacher issue it sounds like a you issue. I don’t see how this is singling her out unless all the kids bring things from home and she is the only one not allowed which I doubt. This is why teachers have one of the hardest jobs around!
Speak to the teacher and see what she has to say
I don’t see how that’s singling her out it’s called discipline and maybe tell ur daughter home stuff is for home it’s not show n tell
Make sure your daughter stops taking things to school. Maybe she’s disrupting the class?
Kids dont need to bring anything to school. Its distracting from the class. I dont let my 5yr old bring anything unless it’s a picture she is giving to her teacher. She has snuck thing before but dealt with losing it. The teacher is teaching kids consequences for being disruptive. Mine gets in trouble at school for that she is grounded.
She also didn’t do her homework, the wrong page is the wrong work.
It sounds like your daughter is disrupting class with things from home (she should not have out in class at all) she needs to follow the rules! Not downing your girl my daughter was doing the same time in class and would come home saying the teacher was picking on her but that was not the case!! You are preparing her for the world and need to teach her to do the right things
Good luck
It sounds to me like you just don’t like your daughter getting in trouble. You admit that she broke the rules each time but you dont think she should be in trouble for it? And of course a teacher is going to notify the parent when a student doesnt do their work. If she’d waited until the 5th time she didnt do it and her grades dropped you’d be wondering why you weren’t notified earlier…
Youre telling stories from heresay by a 9yr old. The teacher is there to keep the children educated and safe. I dont know of many schools that allow kiddos to bring in trinkets from home and just have them out during school. If your child is doing this i can see where the teacher may be in the right telling your kiddo they cant have them. If the teacher took stuff, go to the principal, ask for it back and quit enabling your child. 
Uhh either go up there talk to her teacher or the principal, don’t let that ishh slide.
So my daughter always takes the slap bracelets to school…… my son decided he wanted one with a little lizard on it… I wasn’t thinking of it being a “toy” or distraction… his teacher called me and told me how she asked him at the beginning of the day to leave it in his back pack. He chose to get it out during a bathroom break and she caught him she took it and has it until the end of the school year… was he upset it happened…yes. Was it harsh… yes. But at the same time he should have listened and never brought it out to begin with after she told him it wasn’t okay. So at the end of the day it was 110% his own fault for not following directions. When she called I apologized and told her I was so sorry that it was my idea to let him take it… but he has to be held accountable for HIS actions and not listening when told not to bring it out.
You sound super entitled and Y’all are definitely the problem.
You sound entitled. Shouldn’t take stuff to school. The teachers have the right to confiscate items that don’t belong in class and that are a disruption. Accountability should be installed in your child.
The bring things to school is a no. But you should still have a conference to clear the air.
It sounds like you raising her spoiled she should not be taking things to school school is for learning
Don’t let her bring things to school? You’re not suppose to do that so yeah, your daughter is gonna get noticed and in trouble if she keeps doing it lol
Sounds like she needs to leave her prizes at home…js
I would absolutely go talk to the teacher herself and tell her that you do not like how your daughter is being treated. Be honest. Tell her you feel like she is very unfair to your child. Sometimes you have to be brutally honest. I know I would ( and have )
Are you serious? Sounds like the type of parent that is a nightmare for teachers.
Mmmm I think your being over protective. And is this your only child? Your child can not have her way all the time. If she’s bringing things to the classroom from home and being disruptive then yes the teacher should be taking those items away. And you need to be making sure she’s not taking these things to school. I tell my kids all the time if you don’t want it taken away don’t take it to school. Doing the wrong paper is still not doing the homework. And for the new girl she’s trying to make the adjustments to a new area as good as possible. I understand your daughter can be jealous but that don’t mean her friend cant be friends with the new girl. Your daughter needs to know it’s ok for others to have other friends. Talk with the teacher and go from there but that’s my opinion
Sounds like you don’t think your daughter can do know wrong and instead of confronting and asking the teacher about it you would rather throw a fit and and not admit your daughter might be part of the problem
Momma bear- the goal is to teach our kids to be successful. Learning and following rules is a big part of that. Be clear what the rule are and follow them, yes there is grace but there are consequences for following rules. Teachers have 20+ kids they have to teach, monitor, guide, and help. If your child isn’t following the rules it does cause stress and distraction for all others in the room. It’s appears that this isn’t the 1st issue, which maybe why the teacher is getting harsher. I think you need to meet with that teacher, be open and not on the defense. Learn the rules and make sure you kiddo understand.
She is probably being disruptive with the things she is bringing in. Also, at that age, drama is terrible, so when you have a group acting up, and you’re trying to teach 25 kids, it disrupts everything. There are rules in classrooms that need to be followed, and by teaching your child that it’s unfair to follow them, she will grow up thinking the world will revolve around what she finds fair and that’s just not how things work. She needs to follow rules and expectations, just like everyone else.
I had one teacher send home a note to my mother saying I didn’t do my homework, I did. My mom showed up to the school and had a meeting with the teacher and principal, come to find out because I was related to another student they didn’t like they threw my assignments away.
Definitely call her out on this behavior. Meet with the principal and her. Insist she give back your child’s belongings. She should act like an adult. There are appropriate disciplines to use if daughter is truly disruptive
She didnt do her homework. I’d ask her if she wasn’t paying attention or if she really wrote it down wrong. Teachers have 20+ kids they have to teach and a program to follow. If a kid is distracting others it’s a problem
Talk to the teacher have her put In another classroom. Show up and spend the day in her class. Get a recorder & see if what your daughter & teacher are doing
Yeah this is on you , raising a spoiled kid who never learns what “no” means
Your kids teacher is doing her job
Most schools have legit policies that are given to parents at the beginning of the year with rules and expectations my children are never allowed to bring any kind of item to school unless I personally get an email about an event like show and tell or a beach day or something. Your daughter is breaking rules and you are enabling that.
I have an only child also. Very social and talkative - likes to be the center. I’m great with him being who he is but there is a time and place. Rules and respect comes first! There are limits. I would definitely speak to the teacher first. There is a chain of respect. Communication and understanding first.
She’s an only child at home…not at school you’re trying to make this teacher baby her. Stop and and learn now she isn’t gonna get her way for anything. You’re basically teaching her that what she’s doing is ok when it’s not. Far as I know the only time anything from home is allowed at school is during their “show time” days you need to stop letting her take her things when she’s suppose to be at school for learning.
Well sounds like your daughter is disrupting class. Also you said she did her homework but it was the wrong page. That’s not doing her homework. I think the teacher is trying to teach her responsibility and accountability. She’s an only child and is most likely spoiled at home and sounds like she probably gets away with everything. Teachers aren’t there to coddle your child they are there to teach her. Take some accountability as a parent and explain to your daughter that she shouldn’t be bringing anything from home that she isn’t supposed to be.
Rules are rules. Her teacher is not singling her out. She’s doing her job. Your daughter needs too follow the same rules that apply to all of the teachers students and you, as her mother are enabling your daughters behavior. It isn’t fair too the other kids in class each and every time the teacher has too stop and redirect your child. This isn’t about your child being picked on. This is about You teaching your daughter to follow rules.
And wonder why we have a teacher shortage. 
It sounds like your daughter is inappropriately disrupting class by bringing outside items in. It seems like a reoccurring issue, and the teacher is frustrated. All I read was that you child does inappropriate things, and there are consequences to that.
Love all the psychologist on this post LMBO
Idk if this is related but in 6th grade during art class (last period of the day) we were listening to the afternoon announcements and I was reading a letter my dad had wrote me. He had been on my mind heavy that day and I drew something that reminded me of him and I always kept this letter he had written me in my notebook.
My dad had been in prison for about 6 years at this point and he’s still in prison today.
Anyways the art teacher took the letter from me CRUMBLED IT UP and threw it in the trash.
I went home crying that day.Told my granny and she contacted the principal. They took me out of her class and that was her last year teaching art at that school
I’d be telling the teacher to quit taking my kids’ stuff. Every year, I go through this with my son’s phone and I tell the principal and teachers that he will have all belongings on him unless illegal or completely against school rules. If they don’t like it, it’s a them problem. Jobs don’t say anything about most items if you bring them, and that’s what school is preparing for…the average 8hr. workday.
Sounds like her being an only child and spoiled at home is affecting her at school thinking she can do what she wants . The teacher is doing her job. Rules are in place for a reason . Explain to her not everything will go her way. Better now than later.
Your daughter and You need to follow the teachers rules. Your daughter is taking time away from the rest of the students when your teacher has to talk to her about this reoccurring problem.
As a teacher this is a situation where initially I would just tell you to make a meeting with the teacher and express your concerns. I know that’s an intimidating situation but I also think it’s important for us to be advocates for our children. I say make a meeting with the teacher because it is considered polite to follow quote unquote chain of command, but if you don’t feel comfortable with that you go to the principal. Sounds like you have enough to show that there is definitely an issue. Again my initial response is a teacher would be to go to the teacher first and express the concerns and see what she has to say.
So the beginning of the school year we found out that our 8yo daughters teacher has a reputation for being strict. My daughter got in trouble a few times for talking to much, bringing toys from home (it’s a SCHOOL POLICY not to unless it’s been instructed by the teacher to do so such as show and tell), she lost 5mins od recess etc. My daughter came home crying that her teacher doesn’t like her and she’s nicer to other people. I told her straight out that it’s not that her teacher doesn’t like her, it’s that her teacher isn’t going to put up with her BS. She has rules for her classroom and they are rules for a reason. We all got covid and we were out of school for over a month plus xmas vacation. When my daughter came back her teacher gave her a hug. Since that hug… my daughter has followed all the rules, she’s been rewards with student of the week, she earns weekly prizes, and her teacher has deemed her a “wonderful student”. Unfortunately the blame falls on the teachers way too much these days. Kids need to be held accountable. Speak with the teacher and set up a one on one and let them talk. Having just a simple special moment can change everything.
Don’t let her bring extra stuff to school unless it’s a show and tell day. As for the drawing that was thrown out, she obviously was drawing instead of doing the work she was supposed to be doing. So the teacher threw it out…understandable. If it was important she can draw it again at home. As for the new girl problem, seems like maybe your daughter wants her friend all to herself and maybe has issues with sharing (she is an only child - not used to sharing). And for the newsletter about the females having the most drama, well that’s just common sense in girls, I don’t believe that she was singling out your child. Maybe hold your child accountable for her actions and let her know it’s not ok to brag or draw pictures during educational time. It is your job to teach her all these values!
Not too be rude, but it sounds like you may need to have a talk with your daughter about taking things out on class, if she wants to show them off, fine, but tell her she should do it during lunch,recess,etc. It honestly sounds like she is doing this when she is supposed to be working and it’s a distraction. Have a conference with the teacher. My son was a talker, I had conference with his teacher and we both decided to separate him from the student he was talking to in class.
I found out that my daughter did not act the same way at school that she did at home, so my first reaction was to get defensive towards the school. I am glad I talked to several teachers, counselors, and principal’s and was able to get an adults perspective on the situation. And from then I continued having communication with the school. It’s important having that communication because your child is in their care a big part of the day and you have the right to know what’s going on. Start with the teacher and if she don’t want to cooperate go above her.
Yes, she sounds strict it also sounds like your daughter is disruptive. Take with a grain if salt what your daughter is telling you, there’s usually always more to the story. It’s almost the end if the year, I would just let it go. Also, taking toys away or anything that disrupts the class is usually taken away until the end of the year. If it’s something important I’m sure you can ask for it back.
Wow, tough crowd. I do agree though that you should talk to your daughter about the importance of following rules. Unfortunately we all have to follow rules in life, school, work, community, etc… Maybe go to the library and check out a book that talks about this subject. Then work together on leaving her toys at home. Explain on how it’s hard to follow the rules sometimes but it’s necessary and important. Start there and see if things change for the better. Good luck mama!
Girl, you can’t send your kid to school with distractions. It’s disrespectful to the teacher who is trying to do thier job. Have playdates for her to show off?
My daughter has a strict teacher…I have told her that’s LIFE. You will have teachers/bosses etc that you will need to learn how to deal with… Some teachers are more strict than others. You teach your child respect and that she needs to understand what her teacher expects of her. This is why kids are obnoxious these days, they have parents that take offense every single time a teachers corrects behavior…
You find out what the teacher likes/doesn’t like, and you do it. Otherwise, you’re just making trouble for your child. This will be a good lesson for your daughter too because her personality seems to be to try and “shine” all the time, and most people don’t like that. It’s probably not just the teacher who dislikes this behavior.
Talk to the teacher and let her know how you feel. That if your daughter is a problem you want to have a meeting with the principal to get her help she needs. She will be scared
Nahhh she can give it to me at the end of the day
Read your own post again. Each time it is your daughter learning the consequences of her own actions.
Read your own post again. Each time it is your daughter learning the consequences of her own actions.
Teachers have been given a free pass in today’s society… the biggest bullys I’ve encountered are public school teachers. We opted to pay for private school rather than deal with the mess public schools are.
The teacher is doing her job and your daughter is playing you with the whole “the teacher doesn’t like me” bit. You should be thankful to get an email when your kid doesn’t do the work, she could just give her an F and keep it moving. It matters not if she did something… She did the WRONG thing. Your question to YOUR CHILD should be why did you do the wrong page? Were you not paying attention when it was assigned? If you don’t want your kid to have consequences for her actions home school her and handle her however you choose. 
At my sons school you are not allowed to bring items from home unless its show & tell day. Theres some kids who have nothing & its to make sure no kid feels embarrassed or upset. So that seems pretty fair by teacher. As for everything else, honestly doesnt sound like your teacher is that strict or unfair, sounds pretty common & that your daughter is disrupting the class. Just cuz she is an only child at home, doesnt make her an only child in the class. You need to talk with your daughter about how you behave in school. Also you can talk with the teacher & just explain how your daughter is feeling & maybe work together to help get your daughter to feel comfortable again while also following normal rules rest of class has to.
I can’t even finish reading your post…she sounds like an attention seeking disruption to the class and you think it’s ok…
I mean I feel like you’re expecting her to get special treatment…. My kids are in PreK and Kinder and are not allowed to take things to school and the teacher would take them away if they did…. And when a child starts drama they tend to get in trouble plain and simple
Dude teach your kid the rules of school or homeschool your child. Basically you said, “My child disrupts class by showing off, the teacher reprimanded her, but I’m mad because my kid is upset. She had feelings and haven’t been taught how to appropriately deal with those feelings in a school setting and now I’m mad because the teacher didn’t let her disrupt the class. I feel like my child is the center of the universe and no other child matters in her class but for some reason my kids teacher doesn’t feel the same and its not fair.”
I’m not trying to be harsh but you need to understand before you have an extremely entitled teen because you would rather he her friend then have her be held accountable for her actions. If you honestly think her teacher is singling her out then talk to the teacher. If you get no where then talk to the principal. But you have to understand she has to follow the rules and there are probably 15-25 other kids in her class that need to learn, not be looking at drawings and notebooks.
Devil’s advocate here. Strict means structured. The teacher wants the students to abide by the rule of school is for learning not play. There are normally show and tell days ect. As for jealousy? No the teacher shouldn’t tolerate. Jealousy is something the kids need to be informed isn’t an appropriate way to handle your emotions. You literally pointed out all the things your daughter is doing thatbis causing issues yet apparently haven’t addressed the fact that your child shouldn’t be breaking the rules and there wouldn’t be an issue… as for the email over an assignment? Uh you literally bitched about her lack of communication then bitched when she reached out? Lmao. You are the type of parent that thinks what your child doesn’t “isn’t that bad” and blames the teacher.
Brings things to show off at school is a no no.
Yes she should get it back at the end of the year.
It’s amazing that the teacher has email you over 1 missing assignments more teachers need to be like that. Then kids wouldn’t get so behind.
My son is 9 and in 4th grade, I was so happy when he had a stricter teacher because he couldn’t get away with some of the things he was doing on purpose to disrupt the class. But the thing is is this teacher and I found ways to help him in class and they knew he was being tested for ADHD(he has it we found out at the age of 7) because his teacher has a child with ADHD that my son reminded her so much of. The teacher noticed he was chewing on pencil erasers and other things so they bought him chewerly that he could utilize when he needed to and other very helpful things. They also helped us help him at home with things that might help.
But what I’m trying to say is just make sure your daughter doesn’t bring anything in that they arnt supposed to bring in to school and if she does make sure she doesn’t take it out in class maybe take it out for recess so she can show her friends then. Sounds like she might be taking them out at inappropriate times and making it hard for the teacher to get the kids back on track of what they are trying to teach and that isn’t right either
I would speak with the teacher and tell her how your child is feeling. Also, the teacher can talk with you about things she might need to share. Hopefully this would help the situation.
So your literally mad because this teacher is doing her job and your ALLOWING your child to bring random items that do not pertain to school ?? And ur mad bcuz the teacher notified you she did the wrong homework?? Girl get your head out of the clouds 
teach your child respect, how to follow rules and the proper etiquette of authority.
She shouldn’t be bringing things to school that can be distracting to students that are there to learn. If she turned in the wrong homework assignment, it means she didn’t do her homework! Stop making excuses for your daughter! Her friend found a new friend to play with…I wonder why! The teacher is doing her job. You and your daughter are not. Learn to follow the rules.
If you know shes bringing nice things to show off, why are you letting her? Are you really surprised the teacher has no tolerance left?
Your daughter will eventually become entitled if you dont curb both of your behaviors now-
There will always be people that don’t like you. There will always be tough teachers, bosses and friends. Take what she says with a grain of salt and use this as a teaching moment… your daughter is literally just facing the consequences of her actions.
Shes used to having the world revolve around her and it looks like she’s now learning it doesn’t and it really sucks when that happens. Strict teachers are good practice for real life.
Um. I think this is a you problem.
I know when I worked with the school we couldn’t allow any students to bring things from home only if they had them out of their backpack.