I Feel Like My Daughter's Teacher Is Singling Her Out: Advice?

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"Hi mamas I need opinions. My daughter turned 9 and is only child and super social. She tends to bring things from home to show off at school and her teacher gets irritated and takes it away. Today she had this notebook and was told she would get it back on the last day I school. I feel it’s harsh, am I over reacting? She also had some kind of note or drawing out probably disrupting class a few months ago and the teacher threw it away. I don’t think that was fair. We have had some other issues with this teacher and basically communication is not stongpoint. We find her to be quite strict and actually cold. We want to talk to the principal but don’t want her to make our kids time there worse. Our daughter also doesn’t feel liked by her and tells me stories of other kids getting treated nicer. One story is a new girl joined the class and this new girl and one of my daughters good friends became close to the new girl. My daughter took it hard and got jealous and there was drama. The teacher seemed like she had no tolerance. Are kids not allowed to get jealous at 8/9? I feel like she wants perfect behavior. She has shown a liking to the new girl like taking her side to things which I also find unfair. In the monthly class newsletter the teacher mentioned they were working on emotions and went to say the ones causing issues identified as female. How does that even matter??? I know another mom who’s daughter had the same teacher yrs ago and the child was told she was too quiet ( she was one of those quiet shy studious kinds). I don’t know if the teacher picks on some kids ? One time we got an email that out daughter didn’t do her homework. It turned out she did just had done the wrong page. But an email over one time? Really? What do I do I mean school is almost out but it bothers me."

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"To be honest MOST classrooms don’t allow “items from home” because it’s a distraction and can cause a lot of issues with other children who may not be able to afford or have the same items. So taking a notebook away (most likely because your daughter was being a distraction with the notebook doesn’t sounds harsh at all) Stop allowing your daughter to take items from home to school? And if you feel there is a mistreatment towards your daughter email the teacher directly, ask her questions and be prepared to hear her side and go from there. If you don’t agree with the conversation then talk to your daughter again, and possibly the principal. There is always more to the story. I am all for trusting your children and standing up for your child, But sometimes kids can exaggerate."

"My son was in the habit of doing this but it’s not good as other children could steal your child’s belongings or wreck them ? She could lose it what good is that then when she can just leave it safe at home it sounds to me like you like to show off your daughter’s things she doesn’t need to be taking those things to school, school is a learning place she’s not there for show and tell, and also the teacher sounds bitter too maybe you two need to talk it out."

"I would go and have talk with the teacher first go and get your child’s stuff that was taken away and then address the other issues."

"We have a rule at the daycare that you can’t bring personal toys, jewelry, or anything that can cause disruption or can be lost/stolen. Kids can be jealous, it’s normal, however it shouldn’t cause disruption in the classroom. Maybe you need a parent teacher conference to discuss your concerns and actually hear the teacher out."

"My son brought pokemon cards to school without ke knowing and the teacher took it until the end of the school year. I felt that was right and I had a talk with my son about keeping our personal items at home… I mean common sense no?"

"Talk to the principal. Explain what has happened and how it made you and your daughter feel. Tell him that you don’t want this making your daughter‘s school experience any harder than it has to be, and that you don’t want her grades affected. I don’t feel like this teacher is doing right. It might be beneficial to have three way conversation with the teacher and the principal."

"Sounds like you both have a problem following rules why do you let her take things to school to show off . Stop blaming the teacher for being mean and start teaching your daughter to take accountable for her actions and her behaviors"

"Your kid needs to follow rules but as for the teacher throwing away things and taking them to the end of the year I would write a note saying that you’ll pick up items that are taken away from her."

"Go get the stuff back, have a chat with the teacher and hold your daughter accountable"

"Maybe you can go talk to her teacher and find out from her what the deal is?"

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