My ex-husband recently got professional photos taken with our two daughters, his girlfriend, and her daughter. When I saw the outcome of the photos that the photographer had posted on her website, I was saddened and honestly embarrassed to see how disheveled my girls looked. They are adorable three and 5-year-olds, but their hair was a mess as if they’d just rolled out of bed. They were also wearing clothing that looked like it was two sizes too big on them (he told me they were buying them special outfits for the photos.) I guess my question is, do I say something to my ex? I don’t know if I should just leave it alone (and hope he doesn’t give me a picture haha) or mention how I feel. I just want whoever is in my children’s lives to treat them like they’d treat their own children and it frustrates me because it comes off as if both he and his girlfriend didn’t seem to care enough with how they looked even though they were spending good money for photos.
I would leave it alone. Though is does make me wonder why the girlfriend didn’t help him out a little bit if its their family photos…
Just go get your own pictures, dictate how you want. Personally, I comb my 8 year olds hair. And not even 5 minutes later, it’s a birds nest.
I’d honestly just leave it alone, but If he asked what you you thought I’d give him your honest opinion on the matter. Theres a difference between starting shit, and giving an honest opinion when asked.
I would bring it up.
Who did the hair?
Dad - good try
Girlfriend - maybe felt like she was overstepping
Sounds like these people are going to be in your life for a while, may be a good idea to initiate positive communication 
No. They tried. Let them be
Just let it be, I’m sure you’ll have bigger problems in the future about co parenting. It’s not worth the stress. Get your own pictures done then give one to him
None of your business, you didn’t pay for them, so don’t worry about it
Its their photos. Let it go. Pick your battles and this one isn’t it
Def let them be. They’re spending the money on the pictures. Kiddos could’ve fell asleep in the car or was playing before hand
You didn’t pay for the pictures why do you care?
Maybe they liked them🤷♀️
Leave it alone. That’s his time, his pictures for his home. He didn’t show the pics to you, you found them online, he wasn’t asking for any opinions. He took a family photo and it doesn’t need to be dissected by his ex. Maybe they bought the clothes online and they were too big but had no time to return and exchange the clothes, but in the end its really none of your business.
Leave it alone. He made the effort to get professional photos done with his family. He doesn’t need your approval. When you get professional photos done then you can be critical of how the children look.
If it’s not endangering them, leave it alone.
You don’t have to look at the every day they do. Not your problem to worry about
Stop micro managing sis!!
Pick your battles remember if you have a million small issues the big ones won’t matter!
Leave it alone. It isnt your place or family pictures🤷♀️
Some of these peoples remarks are rude as hell, girl if you feel they were done this way on purpose just ask him why? If everyone in the photo looked presentable but my babies didn’t I’d want to know as well.
I know you should let it be…but the ex wife in me wants you to bitch slap him into next week 
obvs
Just let it be. It’s not worth the energy to fight over. It’s not a picture you have to have displayed in your house so…meh.
Go get some photos done for you and dress them up cute💜
dont worry a out it…move on and leave it alone
Dads dont think that their problem.
Leave it be and take your girls to get your pics taken together the way you want to.
If my husbands ex has anything to say about my family photos, I would laugh in her face. Absolutely none of your business. He is not with you anymore and does not need your approval or comments about a family picture. How can you live your life worrying about such things.
Maybe picture day and getting ready didn’t go as planned. Kids are not always cooperative. Who cares if you didn’t pay for them?
I can understand why you feel the way you do but it’s not your place to give input unless you are asked.
So reverse this…if you did pictures and the dad tells you that he doesn’t like how the girls are dressed or how you did their hair how are you gonna react? You’d get pretty heated because maybe he did his best. At least he included them in the family pictures.
lol my middle kid peed on my just before our family pictures… didn’t care
Laugh at the circus shoot and move on lol
Id love to see the photo and get a better idea
If this is your biggest worry…you have none . Choose your battles this isn’t one! Be happy he included them as an important part of his new family. And… go get pics yourself to display & post. Be Proud!
Leave it alone. That’s what he’s doing with the kids on his time. And it’s not hurting anyone🤷🏼♀️
He does him, you do you
If everyone else in the picture was well put together and my children were a mess and stuck out, I’d definitely be asking why
He paid for them so his loss lol. Let him know that kids need a bit of TLC.
If you didn’t pay for them. Don’t worry about them. Don’t worry about what he does when he has them. Let it go.
Good luck. No one will treat them like you! Men are fickled when it comes to women( girlfriends).
I would ask why I wouldn’t want her around my children she’s not his wife she’s just a girlfriend
Mind your own business
So, I understand being upset about how a child may look in a photo, but don’t start a fight over it. I promise it’s not worth it at all. AT ALL. Because they are their pictures. Not yours honey.
Least they included them in the “family” pictures. Be thankful of that.
I get what you’re saying… But what if he thought he did a really great job with dressing them and then you tell him he sucked? Its his family picture, let it be his way.
I would leave it be if y’all getting along I wouldn’t say anything
Sounds like he tried and failed, but I would be upset that his girlfriend couldn’t even bother to help him out, seems petty to me on her part
Let it go. Let his family and his friends see how him and his new gf think leaving children like that is acceptable. They’ll all be judging him and his new gf, not you. It’s not a fight worth having.
You shouldn’t say one word. You didn’t have the pictures taken. He had the pictures taken. How you feel about the way the pictures turned out are irrelevant. No need in starting fights that don’t need to be started.
I feel like the girlfriend should have helped him out on this because some men don’t look at stuff like we do, because I bet it was her idea anyway. Yes I would ask about it
I wouldn’t worry about it if it’s not my own personal photos. Just take your own photos the way that you like.
I’d be heated if my kids looked messy and everyone else didn’t. Especially if their clothes were too big.
Your seriously nit picking and finding something to bicker about . Mind your business. That’s what they chose to do on there time with his kids! I swear some woman would argue over the smallest things! Most men don’t put effort in fixing hair or know much about clothes for pictures …
I’d leave it be 
last year I did my daughters hair for picture day and 3hrs later when it was her classes turn for pictures, her hair was not the same way I did it. Kids will be kids and things do happen just be grateful they included the children
Leave it be. Choose your battles wisely
Just curious how many of the “mind your business” type of comments have ANY experience with a separated spouse with kids?? Just thinking you may want to choose your Advise a little more thoroughly if you can’t relate?
No. Let it go. You didn’t have them taken. Pick your battles.
Let it go. His pictures, he paid for them.
I wouldn’t say anything unless her child was all put together and yours weren’t. If all the kids look the same then leave it. Take a picture for your files just incase you need them for court later
I have two bonus babies and would NEVER. The girlfriend definitely should’ve helped him out since men sometimes are a little more clueless about that but I also wouldn’t say anything to him because the pictures speak for themselves. EVERYONE will see exactly what you see
Speaking from experience…i wouldn’t say a word about it…
Get professional pictures done of them if you want them done but his pictures of them aren’t your problem. Let it be
Stay quiet. If Dad notices those kind of things, he’ll notice without you telling him. If he doesn’t notice, you don’t want to be the one to point it out.
As someone who has dealt with coparenting for a while, I would politely ask about it. We don’t have all of the details, though. Is the girlfriends daughter well put together? Are your ex and his girlfriend? I know kids can be crazy and things don’t always go as planned, but I also know your concern lies with their overall care for your girls.
When you receive them back from their dads are they bathed/clean/hair done/in clothes that fit? That’s where the focus should lie, in my opinion. Like I said before, if it’s really bothering you just ask. You’re their mom and your feelings/concerns should be respected if brought up the right way. “I had a look at your family pictures. The photographer did an awesome job. Were the girls being difficult that day? I only ask because their hair looked a little rough.”
The clothes, on the other hand, don’t even mention it. They’re clothes. I’ve experienced buying clothes for family pictures that were too large and I just had to deal because I didnt have time. 
Why are you looking at the photographers website for the pics? You didn’t pay for them. I wouldn’t want my kids to look disheveled in pictures but I wouldn’t be searching for them and then criticizing them.
Just keep in mind what he thinks of your children when making decisions. You aren’t going to gain anything by saying anything.
Choose your battles. If you’re not paying them then why care
His photos, not yours. Yes, be annoyed but maybe the girls weren’t into the whole thing at the time and dad couldn’t be assed to do anything. If you want nice photos of them, get your own done
I would care if didn’t have the picture taken I would say something about the way my baby’s look in the picture their own dad should of seen that they was dressed nice and hair combed.
Someone he knows and cares about their impute will point it out to him. He will be ashamed by their input more than you speaking up. Let him ask you after another person tells them, and when he asks answer him after you think about it from his point of view of finding out that they did not notice how they made the girl look like they are an afterthought. Shaming causes drama and bad feelings. Try and be sounding boards to each other for the kids.
It makes him look bad, not the girls.
Really 
a photo and you have analyzed it
My god, let kids be kids, they aren’t supposed to be pristine and perfect all the time. As long as they had smiles on their faces why does the clothes or hair matter, their happiness is all that matters. I have a 5month old 3 year old and 4 year old as well as my partners 2 year old, 6 year old, 8 year old and 9 year old and i can garuntee if I was to pay for a studio photo my little girl will have ripped her pretty hair and bows out on the way, the 2 year old would find a way to make his face dirty, the 4 year old would fall over in mud, the 9 year old would eat something and wipe dirty hand prints down himself, the 8 year old would put his favourite clothes on which we’ve put into younger childrens draws more than once but he keeps stealing them back because he only likes them (2 sizes to small) and the 6 year old will break his glasses… and then the 5 month old would puke on me you can’t garuntee a perfect picture, but if they are smiling its perfect either way
Sounds petty to me. Pick your battles. He did and paid for the photos so it really has nothing to do with you.
This is a bit silly… I wouldn’t say a word there is so many more horrible things he could be doing.
You don’t know if they were super hard that morning and refused to wear anything else etc
You’re assuming.
I get it I would probably wonder why aswell but not my business.
If they start to show other signs that they are possibly not being treated right then bring that up, until then I’d zip it…
But it’s not your business?? Lol you didn’t pay for the pictures so why the hell do you even care 
He payed for the photos let him have them how he wants them.
Let his family point it out if they are really “that bad”. Otherwise unless you payed money towards the photo keep your opinion to yourself, maybe the girls were giving him q hard morning so he chose to not get them all perfect … at the end of the day as long as the kids are fed and clothed and bathed while at dads it shouldn’t matter what THEIR photos turned out like …
Do not say anything. That picture they took has nothing to do with you anymore. This is why you all didn’t work out, I’m sure he didn’t put any effort before so that won’t change now. Girlfriend is probably trying not to overstep. These are all assumptions. We as mothers are perfectionists especially when it comes to our kids. I would have probably been directing the photo shoot. Either way you are valid in your feelings. That is their family picture.
Ignore and move on, if you want nice pictures I’d say go and get some yourself. Have the girls pick out some cute dresses and have fun with it.
There are fathers that sucks I was married to one, took my kids and move to America.
If you are coparenting, you both need to be on the same page, if your girls have trouble speaking up for themselves, be their voice. I also think its important that if he has a partner that is also not only around your kids but possibly established in parenting then as well, you need to sit down with her one on one, mother to stepmother, and talk to her about concerns, and then the three of you together.
If its as simple as they need better fitting clothes, then the three of you should all go on at least one shopping trip together to make sure all their clothes are fitting properly and you all know what their specific tastes are
Just my opinion but if you give it a try, i hope it helps
I can relate to how you feel. Photos live with you forever and those girls will grow up and wonder why they looked so uncared for in the photos. It’s not like they were spontaneous pictures where kids can look scruffy. Don’t battle it out with him, why don’t you just have your own set done professionally.
If everybody in the picture looked pretty and my daughters looked a mess Im mentioning it .
Maybe picture day didn’t go as planned and that’s ok but I still wanna reason why my kids look like no one cares about them lol
Agreed, pick your battles. If they ask if you like the photos, say they represent their family well with a sweet smile and bite your tongue.
Y’all keep telling her to mind her business because they aren’t in danger , how y’all know
That can very well be the start of something and a sign that they are being mistreated… Because why y’all look so nice together and my daughters look homeless 
I would say something if they asked. Your kids will probably get older and look back on those photos & hate them just as much as you did.
I think it depends… how did the gfs kid look? Are they a daggy family and thought they looked nice? Or do you think there was purposely effort to nake them look worse? Do the kids feel put out about it. Have they spoken of feeling left out?
Brutal honesty… it’s not your business. Then looking disheveled is a reflection of him and his girlfriend, not the children. If roles reversed how would you take it if your ex decided to voice his opinion on how you do things in your personal life. It has nothing to do with your children’s well-being, so you have no place to say anything. Except to your friends
Maybe they did the best they could do. If they like THEIR family photos that’s all that matters. If you don’t like them then have your own taken. No point in saying anything and causing friction if you all are on good terms.
then repeat this again…not my business how they spend their photo money 
Repeat after me, “not my circus, not my monkeys”
Let it go. Its not worth the headache nor the unwanted attention on your kids.
Let it go. It’s not worth the fight that will surely ensue.
My daughter comes back from her weekend with her dad and her hair is a tangled mess and sometimes she’s wearing pajamas in the middle of the day at 5 years old, I won’t complain though because I know what a struggle it is to get her tangled out and she won’t let him do it even if he spent the whole time harassing her instead of doing something more fun, all this to say if they are being fed and dressed in clean clothes for their short time together I would let the rest go
Short answer: Embrace your inner Elsa and Let It Go. They may not be cared for to your personal standards, but they’re cared for. This will only result in tension and could impact your ability to co-parent.
Coparenting is not a competition on who can dress their kids better or who has sweeter family photos. The fact that his GF went out of her way to make sure they had special outfits speaks volumes about her character. So they didn’t fit exactly how you think they should, so their hair wasn’t how you would’ve fixed it. Big deal!!! There is more to life than being picture perfect.
I’d guess the girlfriend wanted her daughter to look the best and probably didn’t bother helping dad with his other daughters, dads are not the best in dressing little girls and doing their hair tbf I’d would not raise to it! I’d treat yourself and your girls to a photo shoot dress them up do their hair have a fun day then print them off and give their dad one of them pics of the girls x
Pick your battles honey! Looking disheveled doesn’t mean they aren’t cared for. That’s a whole different situation.
sorry, I disagree with other comments. You should most certainly be sure your girls are being treated fairly and taken care of. If they were willing to let those girls look like that in a picture, that is forever and that everyone will see, how are they being treated and taken care of on a daily basis? Make sure he knows you noticed it and ask him why? Let him ( and Girlfriend) know you will not tolerate less than stellar care while the girls are with them.
Memories for when there older and they can make there own decisions on it 🤷
You never said how the other girl looked…however, 5 year olds are funny creatures lol they are just learning independence and maybe they wanted that look, and he wanted the girls to be themselves. Honestly I’d just be quiet about it unless the girls come to you. Because well kids don’t feel or see things the way we do