I feel like my fiance doesn't want me to look pretty

Do it. If he keeps controlling what you can do, get out.

Control is an abuser trait. Get out now

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A lot of guys just like long hair and as far as the makeup some guys just like Natural beauty. I don’t think he being mean or that you have anything to worry about. I think he might not know how to tell you but he probably thinks your beautiful just the way you are.

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Why are you discussing this with him? Just do it.

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Sounds like he’s guilty of something

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LEAVE HIM. He doesnt want you doing anything for you. Cut your hair… (I did same thing my son was a month old. I had long butt length hair and my fiance supported me in chopping it off into a short shoulder length cut.

Do you. Feel beautiful. Be happy. Ditch the loser if he keeps making you feel like this.

If he really wanted you to be happy he would accept your wish and let you do what you want with your hair and makeup if he thinks your going to cheat keep a eye on him he’s doesn’t sound like he’s very confident in him self :smirk:

This is controlling & abusive. My husband is a pretty good guy & sometimes he jokes “Who are you looking all good for today?” & I tell him “Myself! Duh” lol These m*n out here thinking we’re trying to impress them or other men are full of themselves. I like makeup & hair bc it makes ME feel good & that’s honestly the case for every other woman I know who’s into hair & makeup.

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Men do this for control. He’s insecure and it’s not healthy.
My man literally tells me he doesn’t care how I cut my hair or what colour I choose, and I wear make up every day and he’s never said anything except “you look beautiful”.
You shouldn’t have to worry about what he’s going to think. It’s your hair, face, body etc. do what you want to do and if he loses it then leave.

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Honestly, he probably just likes your long hair, mabe meet him in the middle and dont cut that much off or just do it… Mabe he will like it. As for the make up i think he just needs reassurance that it makes you feel good, its not for anyone else but your self confidence

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Sounds like a insecure control freak

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My advice is that he needs therapy. He has deep issues with his self confidence and he needs to work on that. It’s not something you can do or fix. He has to be ready to work on that issue and it will likely be hard. But, for the sake of your relationship and happiness, I suggest he be open to trying.
I’m dealing with the same thing (but opposite). I feel like my bf will leave me every chance he gets when he’s never given me any reason too. When he takes the time to make his hair looks nice I panic.
I’m in therapy currently working on it and it’s taking time, yeah. But it is helping.
He, like you, has done nothing. It’s my own insecurity that I need to work through. It sounds like your fiance needs to as well.
Hope this helps…

Run!! He’s trying to control you! You should be able to do whatever you want to your hair, wear whatever make up you choice! And this might not be the case but in my experience men who try to control their partner because they are afraid they will cheat are usually men who are cheats! They know what they are doing so become paranoid you’ll do the same. This sounds like an incredibly unhealthy relationship. Ask if he would be willing to go to counselling? If not tell him he can either deal with the fact you are a woman who has control over her own body or he needs to leave and buy himself a mannequin to dress up.

Just having a baby, just something to be aware of, men get postpartum too. Depression, anxiety, rage. If this seems out of the norm or that it’s something you weren’t expecting - look into options to discuss therapy or help. It’s always good for you too as a mother in postpartum. If this is normal behavior, then it may be something to address. Communication is key, always.

Just talk to him. He may not understand why you want to do those things.

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It’s your hair and you have to take care of it. And a little makeup always makes you feel better. You do what makes you feel good.

Ew this sounds like my ex

These comments are disappointing. Just because he has bad qualities does not mean she needs to run right away. They have a baby together. If they love each other, maybe she can talk to him about it and he could be willing to change.
I’ll admit he does sound a little too controlling. But maybe with good advice, and an open mind he could change. She sounds like she wants that rather than giving up and looking for support to throw it away.

I say, talk to him. Let him know how he is making you feel and suggest therapy. If he’s not willing to grow, then you can make a tough decision. But for now, communicate. Let him know how much it bothers you and how serious you are about it.

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Sounds like a lot of baggage… not a lot of introspection… hmmmm

My bf doesnt like me cutting my hair but when i told him i wanted to do it he did it for me. He does what makes me happy and loves me regardless. The way hes telling you know is a control trait. Leave if it doesn’t stop

This is a control issue get professional advise before there is a major problem

That’s toxic and controlling.
I’ve been with my boyfriend a yea and haven’t cut it since a week before we got together. Just had out baby 3 weeks ago and he’s never said anything like this. I can get my hair cut whenever, I just haven’t cause with 3 kids and covid that’s a bit difficult :joy: but I also haven’t worn makeup since the night we got together, I can wear that when ever too but I don’t really go anywhere that I feel I should take the time to do it, but maybe soon for a date night I will.

It sounds like he’s trying to tell you who he truly is…you should listen very carefully, because all i hear are red flags.

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He might be the one that would cheat. The one that accuses really cheats. That is the same thing my ex told me, and I can’t count how many times that jerk cheated on me.

It sound like he’s insecure and controlling. Leave. It’ll only get worse. Your body is your own. Do what makes YOU happy.

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Girl whose life it is I know u want to please him but what about you.
Sometimes our downfall as women is that we let our other side make decisions for us that we should make for ourselves. Be the govonor of your own life your happiness lies within you… don’t be disrespectful but he doesn’t know that feeli g of having a baby and just wanting just to dress up again an look pretty

I told my dogs about this, and they said it’s a big gray flag.

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Just do it, tell him to tell his daughter that childish ish.

That’s toxic. It’s manipulative at the very least. You are your own person, girl. Do as you please.

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Have a honest sit down conversation letting him know why and your needs. Ask why it bothers him so much ect… Otherwise I say do it and if he doesn’t like it the door is always there.

It also sounds like he has insecurities don’t let him control u like that chic

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Hes controlling because.of.his insecurities. A bid talk needs to be had.

Girl, do what makes YOU happy! If you’re doing what makes you happy, he should happy that you’re happy!!! NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

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Do it. Tell him you’re not feeling pretty and so your gonna do some stuff for you. Go get the haircut. It can grow back. And do your makeup just to wear around the house, or out if that’s what you want. Do it! You deserve it

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Is he your dad? No? Ok then… Do it anyway. You’re more than capable of making decisions for YOURSELF!! Good lord I dont know why y’all let a man tell you that you arent allowed to do something. F that.

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Don’t let him control you…you can and have power over your own body mind and soul…he needs to get over it…do what makes you happy

Your body, your rules! You do what makes you happy and feels good, no one dictates to you how you should look or feel.

He may have had a past experience happen to that makes him feel this way. Perhaps an ex of his had suddenly changed her appearance. Then cheated on him. It may be an insecurity thing he has. Try talking to him about how you feel and why you want to change yourself. If you are unhappy with your appearance let him know that you arent happy with your looks amd juat want to prove yourself wrong. And then find out why he feels the way he does. Or even if you just start with each day putting on a little bit of makeup.

He sounds disgusting. Cut your hair. Wear what you want.

Why are you even asking him?
I’ve been married for a bunch of years and I change my look often… Never once I’ve asked my husband for approval! I’m sure he has liked some looks more that others but he just loves me and wants me to be happy and I want the same for him…
This kind of thing shouldn’t even be an issue

Do what makes you feel good about yourself. I waited years to do the big chop partially because my husband kept saying he didn’t want a bald headed wife, well I finally just did it because at the end of the day it’s my hair and I couldn’t be more happier with it short. It’s been about six months since I cut it and the other day was the first time he gave me a compliment on the way I had twisted it out. Do you and good luck:)

Do what makes you happy you have the right to feel pretty bad he can get over it

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He should want you to feel good. That’s not healthy.

In my personal experience when I’ve had ex’s act like that they were cheating. Allot of it sounds like projection. He needs to do a little research in to post partum depression and support you in any way he can. It’s about YOU feeling good about yourself not anybody else. I know it’s hard but you’ll get through this love. Good luck :heart:

do whatever you want. also drop the dead weight he’s toxic

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What a controlling narcissistic person… your body so do what you want. I lived with one of these who was the one actually cheating (not saying your man is)

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I chopped my hair from my lower back up to my shoulders, my fiancé didn’t like it, but he respects that it’s my hair and just wants me to be comfortable

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Sounds like someone’s got a guilty conscience

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Ok ladies hear me out. Yall just saying do it. Your body your choice, your right! Absolutely, but that isn’t gonna solve this. Flip the role. Dude asks his homies this. “My girl is doing her makeup again and got her haircut.” You know what the homies are gonna say? She’s cheating. Just like women, men have insecurities too. But by no means does this mean don’t get prettied up for yourself. But don’t acknowledge that he don’t like it and it just do it. You gotta communicate. Rrlationships are 50/50 you have to find mutual grounds. Guys are insecure for many reasons. You ladies literally have a unlimited market. Even if we are the best for you. We still feel like you can find better. Us men have been told we are replaceable since we were kids. “He’s insecure” NO SHIT we all are. Pointing that out don’t help the situation. Controlling your ladies looks is toxic but don’t think that " oh I’ma do it hell get over it" nah he’ll get worse. He’ll feel less secure, and you’ll risk losing what you built just because you didn’t communicate properly… and before you ladies jump down my throat about it. Again do what you want it’s your body. But if you wanna genuinely solve this problem then talk about it. Find ways to make him feel more secure. And maybe he’ll step up and make you feel more beautiful than the make up and haircut will.

Red flag warning, 1st sign of controlling you, and than no friends and alienation from family, I would be careful with that! Those kind of men like to hit and make you feel insecure and small! Sending guidance to you and God keeping you safe! Blessings to you!

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Young one - you both are going through something that is quite normal. You need to communicate- tell him you have a girl thing going on inside and you want to look pretty for him. As far as hair - to my people - long hair is the sign of strength and life- so that part I can’t suggest anything. When he says things about cheating - stop right there , look into his eyes and ask him - do you trust me, do you know how much I love you- are you happy- (let him answer) then say please do not say that ever again to me it hurts my heart .
Communication sweetie :v:t4::heart:

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Men like long hair, make up should be ok.

Are you a child asking permission. He has issues. He is controlling. Is this what you want because it will only get worse. Run.

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Dates someone that did the same things only got worse … I left :sweat_smile:

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You do you, he is controlling and insecure

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Yup you need to do what you want to do!! Not taking care of yourself and feeding your want and need of feeling pretty etc isn’t good postpartum!! He can be upset all he wants, you want to do things for YOU and trust me it will benefit your mental health. If he can’t accept that you need and deserve to feel happy if that means changing your hair and doing your makeup here n there then he can go.

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Just go cut your hair, put on some make up! He will Probly love it! You don’t have to wear makeup everyday! Just when you feel like a special day!

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He sounds horrible. You need to talk with him and put your foot down. You are his fiance. He needs to respect you. If you want a haircut, you should be able to get one without being scared.
And tbh you’re lucky hes a fiance, i wouldnt even bother marrying him.

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Sometimes, when a child is introduced to the family. A man can feel unwanted or ignored , making them feel a loss of love. Maybe you should ask of he is okay in his needs. Happy spouse happy house kinda thing. Not saying what everyone else is saying isn’t the case, but I do know a growing family sometimes leaves someone left out.

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Same girl same. I get told that I am the prettiest most gorgeous woman on the planet but as soon as I wanna like do something for myself like getting hair nails or so done it’s "you a worthless B… who do you gotta dress up for like this who do you slut*ing up for like this go be with whatever guy it is you do this for I hope you get (insert all STDs you know) " and so on :pensive: when I say i do this for myself I get called a lying piece of shit and all other nasty names

To controlling. Get out fast.

Do what you want it’s your hair and your face not his

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He may just love long hair and he could be insecure with himself it does happen to men as well. Sit down and talk to him.Tell him how you feel and reassure him your not going anywhere and you love the family you guys have made together…Nip this in the butt now before it gets worse and if he don’t stop and it gets worse then it’s up to you on if you want better or not.

Sounds like he has narcissistic tendencies… You are you own person… No one should be telling you, whether or not, if you can cut your hair or wear makeup.

If you’re asking for permission, you’re doing it wrong. Do whatever you want to do to be happy in your own skin, you’re wearing it not him.

Your body do as you please you’ve just had a baby you need to feel good about yourself too.

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This isn’t about how you look…its about control.

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Ur an adult why would you do what he tells u :rofl:

You dont need permission for a haircut, to wear makeup or really anything so go do you. Make yourself feel good

Hon. Men can get PPD just like women. It sounds to me like hes got it. Maybe have a heart to heart with him. Try to figure out why he feels this way or why hes saying those things.

Dear beautiful, my husband of 15 years doesn’t like my hair short or makeup. I no longer work & my husband works from home but here is the thing.
He tells me all the time how beautiful I am without makeup & he prefers me without the makeup. I love long hair just as much as he does but it comes a time when you need for it to be shorter for many different reasons, like having a baby or being sick & not able to do your hair daily. I cut my hair 1x a year. I let it grow until I lean back into a chair and my hair gets stuck between the chair & my back. I ALWAYS wear my hair in a ponytail when it’s long. I guess what I’m getting at is my husband loves me just as much if I cut my hair & wear makeup. I get the same affection from him either way I am. My husband is NOT a narcissistic, he is very kind & loving. The truth is that if I put something on that looks bad, he will tell me bc he told me he didn’t want me to go out & not be happy with my clothes after we have already gone. He hasn’t always told me these things, about the makeup, hair clothing, bc he was afraid I would think he was being controlling. When I do doll up he tells me how beautiful I look & tells me always that all the men are jealous because he has the best looking lady out with him. When I get ready to go for a hair cut he tells me to pamper myself since I only go 1x a year, so I try to always throw in a massage also. When I ask him to go with me he will sit in a waiting room waiting on me. We shop together & do everything together bc we love each other & we have no family close by. The closest family is 12 hours away & it was my choice to move where we are now. This is how a good marriage works. I have 1 daughter from a previous marriage & he treats her just like she is his daughter & loves her just as much as I do.
Don’t let all of these people tell you to run, but you do need to make sure that he has good intentions like my husband. If he just want let it go you might want to reassess your situation. I’ll send a prayer & good vibes your way! Peace, love, light & pray!

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My ex was like this…. It’s awful. Just explain to him that you wanna look nice for him and it’s something you like to do.

Honey do what makes YOU feel good. Do what you want to do. If he doesn’t respect your wants for your own body, then he’s the wrong man for you

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Do it any way it’s your hair what’s he going to do.

Um, YOU DO YOU. He can have an opinion all he wants but it’s YOUR body and your decision. Tell your mans to support you and do what makes you happy.

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I’d do it anyway. Smh…makes me wonder if he’s cheating or has to go for your cheating on me… Red flag right there.

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Red flags everywhere :woman_facepalming:t2: leave get out now before it gets worse. Controlling escalates

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Explain to him your reasonings why on a deeper level. He should understand if you’re trying to recover your confidence after having his baby.

Nope. You’re grown. You are able to do whatever you want to your hair and face, and you don’t need his permission.

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He’s insecure. I’m sure you are gorgeous and he considers himself very lucky to be in your life. Explain to him that you’re just wanting a change so that you can feel like yourself again, especially after having a baby. I’m sure there’s some underlying reasons for his insecurities and you can try to talk to him about those, but it’s no reason for you to feel like you can do the things that make you feel good.

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You do these things for you. And you know that’s why you want to do them. Don’t ever let anybody, especially a man, tell you how to live your life or belittle you for wanting to feel better about yourself.

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My man says the same shit. Who cares what he says lol

Those are major red flags, girl.

He might otherwise be great right now, but wanting to control your physical appearance is often an early warning sign that other controlling and abusive habits will form or surface.

Tell him if he likes long hair so much, he can grow his out. It is YOUR hair and you will do what YOU want with it.
If he reacts badly, that’s another red flag that you should consider listening to.

Try and explain to him that you want to make these changes to your hair and start doing your makeup again because you’re feeling a little like you’ve neglected yourself since having the baby.
Self care is important, and make it clear that these are self care for yourself.

If he reacts negatively to you thinking that you deserve self care, walk away.
Because you DO deserve self care. Do what you want. Do what makes you happy. If he doesn’t like that, he doesn’t love you - he loves having control over you.

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You are your own person if this is going to make u happy go for it!!! Since when do we allow our partners to control how we look.

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He sounds manipulative as fuck. Do what you want to make yourself feel beautiful and confident. If he doesn’t support you getting a haircut or accusing you of cheating because you want to wear makeup, leave his ass.

That’s not about you, that’s ALL about him, he’s insecure as fuck. Don’t let him control you.

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Girl go cut ur hair n do ur makeup. Do it for u . He is being kind of controlling with that

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My ex husband did this. He wouldn’t even allow me to go to our apartment pool without him. I was young and stupid but needless to say I got older and less stupid

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Sounds like his true colors are about to start appearing. Be careful.

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Some men don’t understand u need to do those things for yourself not to get attention from men or other men

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I have a long hair also below my butt and didn’t cut for almost 30yrs! I only trim a little at the bottom. I don’t wear make up coz my husband don’t like either. Our husband loves us simple and have originality.

That’s why he loves you in the first place bc of your long hair and simple with no make up.

Stay the way you are. Nothing to cover. You don’t need to wear make up!

He Sounds like a douchenozzle.

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Cut the hair, put on the makeup and leave the man! That’s controlling, narcissistic behavior.

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You should do what makes you feel good about yourself,take care of you!if he’s insecure over you looking nice or feeling good about yourself, then he has issues he needs to work on ,and hopefully both of you can find confidence before you consider getting married.

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Maybe he likes long hair? Anyway do what you like if he leaves ok if not ok? I guess you have to pick them battles you cut it ge flipping leaves then you have to say was it worth it

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Cut your hair and wear your makeup, you need to feel good about yourself

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His insecurities are his own… it’s not you job to down play what you want to do/wear etc to cater to those insecurities… do you girl!! Cut that hair ! Put that make up on. Feel fab :blush:

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Do :clap:t3: what :clap:t3: you :clap:t3: want! It’s your life, live it and be happy :heart:

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You do what you want you don’t need his permission u want to cut ur hair and wear makeup then go for it

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Be you not what what he wants then he needs to change for you you did have his baby

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