I would sit down and communicate with your husband on how you are feeling .
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Ok. Before I finished I was thinking the dad was playing favs. Anyways I can kinda understand that hes doing all this for his first child because the mom has problems. And he knows your a great mom which as its own you should be proud of. But he should take the time with y’alls child as well because as the kids get older, yours might start resenting him because he doesn’t take more time with them. Have you tried talking to him but not to start an argument. Maybe he doesn’t really realize that hes doing it.
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I wonder if it’s because of the age difference. I’m assuming the first born is older and can do more and maybe your child is a baby or toddler which needs more dependent care. Can your child talk on the phone?
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I’d ask him bout it. Eventually the child you share is going to notice and possibly wonder what he/she did wrong for Daddy not to spend time with etc. Wonder why does first born get all of Daddy’s attention etc? I can see it possibly in future effect the child you share Self Esteem and how they feel bout themself.
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Bottom line… it’s just as easy to make 2 calls a night as it is one. Just as easy to make time for one chid one day and the other the next. So his excuse is BS. Just because he don’t worry about your child is not a reason to exclude him. And no way would I deal with a job that I only saw my husband on weekends. Time for a new job!! Time for a honest talk to your husband and if things don’t change then you have a decision to make.
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Me, personally, I would be offering up an ultimatum. You’ve played Mom AND Dad to your child for what seems like quite some time. Your husband takes the first born to his/her first day of school but doesn’t show up for your child’s event at daycare. Your husband goes out of his way to buy his first born whatever he/she needs but hasn’t bought your child anything in over a year. Your husband plans parties for his first born but can’t even check on your child when he/she is sick. Your husband plans special trips with his first born but doesn’t take your child anywhere. Your husband jumps through hoops for his ex and tells you your such a good mom he doesn’t have to worry about taking care of his child with you. Your husband calls his first born every day but your child never hears from him. My ultimatum would be he would either start treating your child the same as his first born or he could leave. You’re probably not the only person that has noticed either. It’s not fair to your child and he/she will grow up resenting his/her half brother/sister. Not to mention his/her father.
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Nope. U are thinking right. Children need to be treated the same. Or they will grow up hating the other because they were favored. I would not handle that well at all. Sounds fishy to me
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He sounds like a douche bag! I would b having serious chats with him. to me that’s just not on!
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That’s a problem. My kids get equal attention including my stepdaughter. It gets exhausting, but if I feel like I’m giving one too much attention, for example, my ten month old, I will then try to stay up later and play a game or something with my 5-year-old stepdaughter. Of course they’re not going to get equal equal attention but just about as close as I can get.
On the other hand, does this man maybe feel bad that he doesn’t have a child fully in his care, so then is reaching out to him more often? That’s a tough one but sounds like he needs to step his game up
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He’s taking Your and your child for granted.
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Time to move on, don’t pick no man over your child
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Maybe the age difference and maybe he sort it f feels like you have it all taken care of and do not need him ?
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Probably still banging firstborn mom.
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If she is over thinking it then tell me why he didn’t call and check on the sick child, not once!!
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It could be the ages. Babies are hard for a lot of people to engage with or care about, whereas older children have actual personalities.
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You are way overthinking this.
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Sorry this is happening. Prayers for understanding and closure.
He is seeing someone else.
Before I comment, it would be helpful to know the ages of both children, the employment status of yourself and the first borns mother and most importantly, how he has responded when you’ve raised this with him. I mean, details, evidence, examples and explain your feelings and the impact it’s having.
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Wow! He doesn’t seem to give a crap at all… I hope you’re in love and want to stay with this, cause I’d be out… I can obviously read between the lines… Especially not helping you out also… I totally couldn’t deal with that at all, we’d be having a serious conversation…
Does he have a legitimate concern to worry about his first born? …Have you told him how upset it makes you? Asked him to try to understand where you’re coming from and how it looks to you? …communication is key.
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Lucky for your child, he or she has you. They need someone and God sent them you. I am sorry for your sadness. Some people only learn when they look around and noone is there.
He needs to treat them the same, no matter what, period. Whether the first is a boy and youngest is a girl or vice versa or whatever. If ur a “father” then there should be absolutely NO difference. If u bring it up to him and it doesn’t change, I’d be gone.
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My curiosity is the age gap between the firstborn and their mutual child. Could it possibly be the fact that the first born is at the age where they can interact, while the mutual child isn’t? Not excusing his actions because it is totally wrong for him to be doing it. But I know sometimes there is a fear of doing stuff with children under a certain age in their minds. I would be open and honest with him and lay it all out. If it doesn’t change, time to leave.
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Maybe some guilt on his end with the first born since him and the mother are no longer together, but still wrong to not show that attention towards yalls child!
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My first thought was that he has guilt for not being with the firstborns mom anymore and feels like that child is being neglected and doesn’t want that kid to feel abandoned. He may know that your child together has you and knows the baby is taken care of. I would definitely be sitting him down and expressing these feelings to him (if you haven’t already!) As he needs to be there for your child as well.
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I would verify it’s his firstborn & ex he’s talking too. He might be using them as a cover. Or may be interestedly building animosity between the 2 households.
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It sounds like he is showing favoritism and that’s not okay.
I’d stop sending him anything or telling him about things going on with my child if he wants to act like he only has the one with another woman. 
And I’d be considering leaving.
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This is too many red flags to count.
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That’s not ok at all… Where does he stay all week? Why is he only going to see his first born? Why is he so concerned with his ex? Is she unfit so he feels the need to spend all his free time there? So many questions… but honestly, I’d probably end the relationship and tell him to call/ message when he has time for the 2nd child … That’s not how I’d want to live my life…
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That child is going to notice the difference he makes in them. No matter that your a good mother, he should want to be a father to your child too,!!!
Have u talk to him about his behavior toward URS n his child I would find out why he doing it
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He has a double life maybe triple . Hello !!!
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It seems like he dont love you either.
You need to have a come to Jesus talk.
I’d get rid of him if he’s showing no interest in the child that’s unfair for the child your child will realize this as he gets older
I would talk to him about it bringing others into the mix you’re going to get answers from all ends of the spectrum and that’s not helpful at all.
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Why aren’t you talking to professionals and him about this instead of strangers on Facebook?
So, I was scrolling my page and reading this and thinking what piece of 
this is and how he needs to go back to his ex and I was going to pass it by until I saw the woman’s face below it and… Well, even SHE knows this is trouble.
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Is there a large age gap? Either way it’s wrong and it does seem like he is uninvolved with your kid. From what I’ve read it makes me wonder if he’s upset that he started a new family and wants his old family back. He doesn’t seem like he’s interested in being a dad to your kid. It’s also strange that he’s gone so often was this his job before you? Or did it start when the baby came along? Honestly I’d talk to him about it and if it doesn’t change I’d leave.
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Maybe I’m old school but I feel that a father, normally, would spend time with a baby or toddler, in diapers, close to home and mom. That men just aren’t into the diaper bag and changing and baby wipes and do i go in the men’s or women’s restroom and bottles. That is something a mother would normally and naturally do. I of course are if a day when baby’s stayed close to home and slept on reg schedules. Naps at regular times and rarely dressed when potty training. Having said that babies don’t remember if daddy held them 15 minutes three times a week or all night long. Time in their word isn’t measured by experiences. It’s is stimuli. It’s best the mother stay positive and open when he is available to interact. Once a child starts to speak and verbal interactions are easier then the memories of experiences start to stick. Think back to the first memories you have and how many there are. I don’t mean what you are told. I mean what you remember. Think about what age that is. Happy healthy home is most important. She’s overreacting.
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Where is he staying when he works all week? 
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my husband doesn't care about our child: Advice?
He’s probably cheating and to focused on someone else
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Red flags… cant see the relationship lasting, youd be better off on your own, im verry sorry for you and your child…
Sounds like he has an on going relationship with his first child which is in that child’s interest. You knew he had this child when you decided to have your child. His first child is no less because that relationship didn’t work out and it seems like the ex is facilitating the ongoing relationship and I’m going to guess the first is a boy. Now I’m also going to guess you had a beautiful baby girl that isn’t at the age of interacting with words yet. He is the father to both. It’s a package you chose to take. I wonder if that’s why the first didn’t work out. Maybe he’s just a better long distance father.
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Sounds like he has massive guilt surrounding firstborn - unresolved . Have you considered his detachment to " our child " could stem from that ? He works away which could be adding stress for him as he knows he’s not there for his child . If the other mother has " problems " , he may feel reassured knowing you can cope . It’s all speculation . You HAVE to sit him down and CALMLY talk to him about how you’re feeling . Otherwise this situation will continue without resolution . Communication is key .
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My take from this post is he’s still got a thing for the ex. It seems he’s using the kid to do it. Have you noticed anything that they may be cheating behind ur back.
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Look at all the women on this thread thinking like women. I don’t see this as having a thing for his ex. I’d be more inclined to think he has guilt because he’s not there taking care of that child. Plus that child is older. Does that child have emotional problems? People struggle with all kinds of internal emotions and such. Don’t just assume it’s because he’s in love with his ex. Co-parenting is hard. Having a child by a second woman can be hard on older children. Now… That doesn’t mean what he’s doing is right… But maybe he’s being thoughtless about the present situation. Give him the benefit of the doubt and talk about your concerns with him… Like an adult.
And frankly… I think you may be jealous of the time he’s spending with the child… But not on behalf of your child. This sounds more like resentment to me. You’re a single mom all week… It’s hard. Really do some self reflection.
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Maybe he is still holding onto his life before…I’d honestly say…if you don’t see or feel he is putting in effort on anything but them, then find someone who will. Maybe that will wake him up. His loss…
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Well you probably need to open your eyes little wider obviously him and first momma have something going on behind your back and they are lying to you . Don’t be so blind not to see this been there done that the ex is always nice to your face but stabbing you in the back. I pray that you wake up and see whats going on and I feel sorry for your child that his dad isn’t spending time with him he will be rebellious before long towards his dad.
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Sounds like he wants his first child’s Mom, not you. It has nothing to do with the kids except his first born is with her. I wouldn’t put up with that. Your child together deserves the same respect and attention his first born does! I would be getting a divorce. He wants to be with her. Not you. Adios Amigo!!!
Well I guess you need to break up with him and move out so he can then have a solid relationship with your child too! Or maybe he’s just a jerk holding on to his old life, hoping if he’s a good enough father she may want him back. Or he’s already living a double life, who knows. Go ask the man! Sit him down and tell him how you really feel. And tell him if he doesn’t improve his relationship with your child together that you are leaving~~~
Hell nah, we dont do favorites…he needs to treat them BOTH the same. They BOTH his kids
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BOTH of those kids are his he needs to take care of BOTH of them. Just because one may be a baby or smaller doesn’t mean you can’t call and talk to them on the phone. Doesn’t mean you can’t take them out somewhere like the park for the day.
You refer your child as ’ it’s & the other child as ’ the firstborn’. Clean up your own house before judging others.
Dump his sorry ass ! You and your child deserve better treatment than what you are receiving !
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Where is he staying during the week exactly?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my husband doesn't care about our child: Advice?
Copy and paste this post and send it to him in a message-tell him where it’s been shared to and say it would be helpful if he came on and read the responses
He is having an affair with his ex-wife believe me
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You need to voice this to him. You sound a little resentful of the firstborn though, so you may want to be mindful and of that when talking to him. If firstborn is 6 and your child is 1, then the age may be a huge factor for why he’s more involved with firstborn (as well as not always having access to her). Some people don’t do well with infants and toddlers until they’re more communicative (not saying it’s okay, but he may assume his presence isn’t important if your child doesn’t acknowledge him).
I’d probably end that relationship and do it yourself. I also feel like something more is going on between the ex and him.
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