Run away and never look back… Don’t waste more precious time on this narcissistic asshat!
Please document everything every little detail and I say this because I already know what he’s doing and what he’s thinking. I mean I couldn’t be certain but that’s just how this crap goes. He’s trying to make it your fault. Don’t play into it and put it all into you.
He has Someone else !! He’s a cheater and he will never change once a cheater always a cheater !! Take your babies and run you don’t need him !!
Whoever he has, they have something he wants.
Rather it be money, or maybe she’s already pregnant.
Hes texting you because something is on the line.
When it falls threw (and it will. It won’t last)
He will come crawling back
Just kick him out and file foe divorce before his plans go sideways
Try and get some proof but he is already has somebody else take him to court and get him for child support for everything make it to where he almost has to work two jobs to be able to pay child support
This wasn’t all of the sudden… it’s been happening slowly and would’ve kept going on slowly but you caught him being emotionally unfaithful to you.
You can’t make someone want to stay. If he doesn’t want the family life with you and your children let him go. He couldn’t do right by you but you can surely give him what he wants. But I’d teach him a lesson that it might just be cheaper to keep you lol.
Sounds like he has already found someone else…jst get everything g sorted wif ur Solictor ASAP so u n the kids are taken care of
The sad part is , you can’t fight alone & sadly it seems like he already found something. Possibly put of state.
Can’t force him to stay in the marriage. Time to get a lawyer and be done with it. He will be paying support out the wazoo and then you can tell him that he wanted this. Good luck.
Go to counseling by yourself if he won’t go with you. It always helps to talk to a neutral party that can give you ideas on how to help save your family and yourself. A lot of times when the other party finds out you are going to talk to someone they will change their minds and will go too. You don’t say how old you both are but there could be a lot of things going on with your husband other than cheating on you. Good luck & try to stay strong.
Let him go…there are better men than him in the world out there!!!
TAke the kids, the house, the pension and walk away. He absolutely has someone else
Let him go girl!!! You deserve SO much better than that!
Let him go file for divorce file for full custody, child support, alomomy everything you can get. If you can get an attorney.
He most definitely has someone else, him not wanting to try and work on things usually means that. Just let him go, obviously he is getting what he thinks he needs elsewhere, soon he will see what a mistake he has made and how he destroyed a wonderful relationship with someone who loved him dearly, it will be difficult for you to move forward from here as him doing this is such a shock to you. If he wants to be like this there is not much anyone can do to sway him, it would probably be best if you just moved on and try and salvage what you can . I wish you all the luck and love to you and your children, and please lean on your family and friends when times get rough.
I agree with everyone who says… he’s already gone!! As far as him cheating what does it matter… he’s already done with the marriage. Now you need to figure out what he HAS to pay in order for you & the kids to live the life HE promised!! Get a attorney, be strong for your babies & May God be with you!!
This means he’s already with somebody or seeing somebody else. That’s the only reason he would respond that way. I know it hurts but if the marriage is beyond repair there’s no reason to keep fighting for it. There’s someone out there who will treat you like a princess
- Quick! Get financial statements from everywhere you know about & grab a copy of his paycheck if possible. If you can, take half and put it in a separate account in your name only.
- Find a lawyer and discuss your options.
- Find a therapist and get into counseling to help deal. A grief counselor can also help you deal with the sudden death of your marriage.
- Now is the time to call on family, friends, religious institutions, moms (good on you for posting here) to support you in every way while you are reeling. Don’t make any major decisions you don’t have to right now.
- Start collecting important papers and whatever is meaningful to you from the household. If you are worried he’d take anything you want out of spite, store it someplace else, like with a responsible friend or family member. If he has a new honey he probably won’t care if you take most of everything, though.
- Alimony is rare & usually only lasts a few months. Get with a Women’s center, check homeless center services and career centers for employment advice/counseling and see what training you would need for a well-paying career, even if it will take years to accomplish. I recommend something in STEM, especially computer related. Techies are in demand, you can do a lot remotely and work from home if needed. Ask about scholarships and grants and exemptions. Teachers are in demand but at present it’s a really frustrating career and only pays so-so for all the aggravation. With all the uproar now, it may improve, but no guarantees. Parents are super entitled and teachers get tasked and blamed for everything.
- Do something nice for you to de-stress and stay healthy. Baths, walks, learn self massage techniques like with a roller or ball or just your hands. Have your kids put lotion on you. Their little hands are so soft! Get herbal teas, eat healthy, take your vitamins. Get people to watch your kids, take you (&kids) to lunch, talk to you on the phone. Deep breaths, yoga, Tai chi, meditation—check online tutorials and You Tube, DVDs from the library. My fave: Tai Chi Chih - Joy Through Movement - YouTube
- Ask about subsidized housing, other benefits. Do not smoke, drink or use drugs to feel better, though an anti-anxiety or antidepressant prescription might help in the short term. Look into options for medical care (you can probably get him to pay to cover the kids, at least for a while.
- Is the jerk a good dad? Decide how you want to divide the time for custody. If he’s neglectful and aloof, get as close to sole custody as possible. You will get more child support but all the responsibility. If he’s a good dad, give him as much time with the kids as you’d both like so you can get a break to study, work, or just tend to yourself. Think about how you’re going to manage school, school events and sports as the kids get older. What happens if a-hole hubs just disappears and/or doesn’t pay child support? Know your options.
- Get counseling for the kids. Should be paid for if ihave Medicaid
My fiance did the same thing to me about a year ago. I let him have space and just let him know I was there and as long as there was no one else I would always be there. About 5 days later he came to his senses and came home…this all happened on our son’s 7th birthday but we’ve worked harder than ever to keep our love strong. I hope everything works out for you. Just remember everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. Just focus on you and those babies!
Another woman has taken your place so best you pack his bags and show him the way…not you leave…he leaves and after a while you will look back and just say…what an idiot he is…
Took me 15 years to come to this realization but heavens I’m as free as a bird now
It sounds like he has already made up his mind
Let it go you are the better one.
Let him go!
U won’t b happy forcing him to stay.
In my case there was no one else but at first he said there was no working on it as it had been bad for way too long. He needed space and to sort out all the thoughts running through his mind. Mental illness could be what’s going on here as well.
Yeh, he found another woman.
Let him go, seems like he has made it pretty clear he is done and doesn’t care for try and save the marriage. Sounds like he is involved with someone else. Personally I wouldn’t consider taking him back after all of this even if he wants to. It’s possible if things end with his new relationship he will try and go back to you. Find someone else worth your time.
In my opinion, he’s cheating. I’d say move on, file for divorce. Take the house, the kids, etc. you need to have a stable household for the children. File for child support as well. Document everything. Let him go.
Move forward with your life and be the absolute best mom,woman and person that you can be,you and your babies will be just fine…stay strong mama,many prayers for you and your babies
Let him go and get you a sancho
Never let someone tell you more than once they don’t want you. If he’s not willing to do the work then you hold your head up high and move on. Your kids deserve to see mama being loved and respected.
Yeah he has moved on with some one else already it sounds like.
Put him under hypnosis, trick his mind to be in love with you.
What else is there to do, really? Let that boy go. Move on.
You can’t be the only one fighting. It sounds like he isn’t willing to put effort either
Lwt him go and hit him where it hurts.
Let him go focus on you and the kids try to rebuild all 4 of you slowly and go from there when they get older prepare yourself for extremely difficult questions from them should they choose to ask any
Mama, do you. This is a blessing in disguise or you would have wasted 20 years of your good years.
There’s another woman
Sounds like he has someone else. Maybe at work. Leave his ass and put him on child support for ALL 3 kids.
Let it go, it honestly isnt bad raising kids the best you can alone. It sounds like he has made up his mind already. Tell him to move out. Warning signs are there.
Sounds like he has already started a relationship with someone new… which is why he’s telling you there’s nothing you can do things don’t just change over night
There’s someone else. Let him go.
Let him go, imagine loving a man who doesn’t love you, now imagine loving a man who does love you. Why would you want to give your all to someone like that. He should have communicated he wasn’t happy two years ago, that way you could have tried to resolve it. Letting him go will hurt, but so will trying to force him to feel something he doesn’t. This is beginning of a entirely new life.
Yepp let his ass go girl he already told you more than enough to not stay.
There is definitely another woman
It cost to raise kids make sure he pays his fair amount and move u and the children out. Even better pack him up.
I’m so sorry, I know how crushing it feels to have this bomb dropped on you. I’ve been thru all of this! I know the prospect of becoming a single Mom is scary, but believe me, it’s so much better than trying to hang onto someone who very obviously doesn’t want to be with you anymore. His actions and attempts at secrecy to me sound like there might be someone else (speaking from experience). I know this is hard, but do yourself and your kids a favor, end it. Make him move out before things really start to get ugly. Save yourself and your kids the excessive stress, heartache and resentment by trying to wait it out. You’ll be OK, I promise. Hang in there sweetie.
Young one - he has made his decision- nothing is going to change it. More than likely he has another woman. Let him go - get an lawyer- get your ducks in a row. Start keeping a journal on the amount of time he spends with his kids. Sounds like he’s abandoning you all. If you want help raising your babies - and custody and your home- best of luck - you can do this. Remember your babies and you deserve the best.
What are you going to fight for? This man is telling you that it’s over and he is not happy with you. It’s time to start over. You can do this, good luck and god bless!
Happened to me and yes, there was another woman. Let her have him and start the healing process.
Let it go, he’s been cheating on you, whether it’s physically or mentally, he has… Why bother, it just makes you look sad(to him and a possible her… And makes his ego bigger, he may say, on my condition of… Which is no way to have a marriage. He obviously doesn’t love you the way you love him, and fortunately happens all the time… Just let it go pick up your pieces be strong for the kids and make your own life
There’s someone else already… no reason to fight for this, it’s been over awhile. Let him go.
Sounds like he’s already started a new life especially with having a different social media platform that you wasn’t aware of.
Just let go Momma. Know your worth. You and your kids happiness is way more important than him. You got this!
I would let him go, focus on you and find your happiness, and never look back. I’m so sorry
But this will end up being the BEST thing that ever happened to you
Yep he has to go. He should have stopped having kids. Get 1/2 the cash out now before he does and file for child support. Not joking! Keep and print out every text message where he admits it’s his fault and you can’t fix it. The minute he goes to a lawyer they will tell him to delete them. Print them out now.
Why would you fight for something or someone who doesn’t want the same thing? You’ll lose yourself more trying to stay. Focus on your kids and yourself. When he comes back sniffing around, make him stand on his decision. Stop letting these men tell you they don’t want you more than once.
What marriage anytime a m……….tell you they’re not happy haven’t been but was still there,do you still want him he has a side piece already.
Leave him be. concentrate on you and your babies. Sounds like he moved on before yous ended
Wave goodbye to him!
He’s DONE! He has to take care of 3 kids! Your young, keep yourself fit and beautiful. Plenty of fish in the sea.
He is gone and has another women. See a lawyer and get as much financial help as you can for your Children.
If I where you with three kids don’t fight for your marriage you told you he has not been happy and not so make sure he pays his child support since he made those babies and get to glowing and you will find someone who will love you t
First off, I feel this conversation should take place face to face with no children around. I understand that you may be hurt, confused, at a lose, but you both should be grown adults.
You stated that he wanted to have children young… age and maturity may play a role in why he feels the way he does.
Protect yourself abs your children, meet with an attorney, allow them to tell you what to expect in alimony/child support. Seek counseling, if not joint, then for yourself, a safe place for you to process so you continue to be there for your children.
If love still exist in the relationship, then of course working towards it is best. However, if you are the only one fighting/working, you will not have success. You two will forever be linked by your children, fight for an amicable relationship if your marriage cannot be saved. Be the best parents you can be. Never talk I’ll of one another. Never involve your children in adult chaos.
I wish you the best
He has a new person in his life
Let it go hes got some one else
Here’s my opinion, tell him it’s not fair for him to not at least try counseling. If it doesn’t work, at least you guys tried. If he refuses then time to say goodbye. You don’t want to be in a relationship where hes not happy. Sorry you’re going through this
Um he already had someone else.
If you have to fight for love it’s not worth it. Find someone that loves you and collect all the child support you can.
So sorry but there’s nothing to fight for.
Sybil Perezion’s Mum… Eeee
Let him go. Move on. Live the best life you can for you and your babies.
Let him go, he will more than likely come back
He is 100% doing shit behind your back.
This is hard… So hard… And yes, unfair. My heart hurts for you…
It sounds like he is not interested in working things out. I know that is difficult to hear. It could only hurt you more by holding on and trying when you’re the only one fighting to keep it going. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don’t know you, but I know you deserve a lot more than this. If possible, please speak to someone who can walk with you through this incredibly difficult process…
First and foremost, I am SO VERY SORRY, that you are going through this! Nobody should EVER have to find out sneaky stuff, but then to be “dumped”, over the phone by your very own husband! I hate that you have been victim to a coward who felt the need to go behind your back to find someone else instead of facing whatever issues he had head on like a real man. I want to make a few suggestions, I do recommend counseling, for YOURSELF, honey, because he has just crushed your spirit and you ARE GOING to need someone to talk, cry, yell, vent, be real and honest to who won’t go talk behind your back! Secondly, Seek legal counsel, even if you can’t afford it, your county should offer free legal aid. Thirdly, get your affairs in order, as far as a job, your own bank account, childcare, your going to be on your own and YOU are going to be OK!! TRUST ME!! Fourth, look at your beautiful face, and the 3 beautiful faces of your children and realize that you 4 deserve someone who wants ALL OF YOU! You and your precious babies will be in my prayers.
Ya he’s been cheating or talking to someone else for sure. He wanted the best of both worlds and now that he’s finally caught it’s made it easier for him to end it before you find out the extent of his cheating.
Sounds like he has someone else he rather be with while he’s out of town so he wants to break things off with you. That’s my opinion tho. Men are very indecisive, they don’t know what the want (from my personal experience)
I’m thinking there is someone else, walk away, take care of yourself and your children, get a good lawyer.
Why fight if he doesn’t want too? Let him go
Gah! This is hard. My advice…push for counseling…so you can feel like you tried. While simultaneously getting your ducks in a row. Get a lawyer. Start preparing. Chances are he’s cheating and you need to be prepared.
Sorry he’s dumped this on you.
Start getting things in order and go see a lawyer. Get cash out and set up your own bank account immediately before he does something.
So sorry you’re hurting. If you need to, go to counseling for yourself to find your strength. Always believe people when they tell and show you who they are, and especially when it breaks your heart. There’s more than likely someone else in his life. You will get through it, and eventually, you might see it as a new chapter for YOU. Consult with a divorce attorney, or few, to find one you like. File for child support. Take care of yourself and your kids— you got this.
He found something else to make his little heart flutter,
Let him go, he’ll 9/10 times be back but you should NOT TAKE HIM BACK
Girl, it hurts, but he’s already been gone.
Unfortunately it sounds as if he’s already 2 feet into another life with someone else.
Do the right & smart thing here & prep yourself for a divorce & custody court.
Save all texts talking of his unhappiness, go get any money that is yours out of joint accounts. Close all lines of joint credit immediately, & get his name off all utilities ASAP.
Most important, take time with your kid’s, to explain what the new living arrangements in as kid friendly manner as possible.
He’s met someone. Move on and take him to court for child support and get your own life together. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me.
He has a girlfriend. Take him to court and move on
Looks like he been seeing someone else, but once the novelty wears off he will be sorry and I hope by that time you will be strong enough to tell him you don’t want him back. Things happen for a reason, and usually for the best, this is the last thing you want to hear , but I can assure you this time next year you will be grateful he did you a favour.
When this happened to me… there was someone else. You can either fight for your marriage or walk.
Let him go!! In his head & heart it’s already over … and like some of others have said … there is definitely someone else ….
Fight for you. Go to counseling for yourself.
Be the first to file!!!
He’s def entertaining someone else and gaslighting you to make himself feel less guilty.
I wouldn’t fight he did it once he’ll do it again let him go.
I wouldn’t fight he did it once he’ll do it again let him go.
Let him go sis you deserve better.
He def has a woman on the side. Sudden password changes, new social media. She probably doesn’t know he’s still married to you. I would do everything you can to find out who she is and call her or show up at her door. Let her know that he’s married. If she knows and she’s dating him anyway then oh well but she could be just as in the dark as you are since he works out of town. Then file for divorce.
Let him go he is with someone else.
Go to counseling for yourself. And let him go. You can’t make anyone stay.
I know you feel like your heart has been ripped out, please listen to what everyone is saying, get all the money you can get out now !! And get a GOOD lawyer, I found out talk to your beautician they have the best information, she might know who is a good lawyer, and depending what State you live in you could get alimony and get your divorce on grounds of adultery, it is better to do this now then like me when my husband left me for another woman after 30 years of marriage