I’m 23 years old and seven months pregnant. I’m having some difficulty in my marriage with intimacy in the past few months. I’m not sure what to do anymore, and I’ve talked to my husband about how it bothers me. It seems like lately, he’s not interested at all in getting intimate or even cuddling. I feel like he’s not attracted to me while I’m pregnant even though he assures me that isn’t the case and that he just feels like his libido has gone down. I just feel extremely insecure, and I know that he loves me, but how do I get past the insecurity. I don’t like feeling like I have to beg to be touched or like he doesn’t feel attracted to me. Has anybody else had this problem?
Calm down…you are pregnant! Focus on that. He is allowed to feel differently about your body because your body is different now. Relax. In a couple of months its going to be you thats not interested as much in intimacy because you will be exhausted. Life ebbs and flows, dont overthink it.
He could also be stressed or anxious about the coming baby and all that comes with it. It’s a stressful thing with all the responsibilities
My bf wants to wait until it’s just the two of us so I know where ya coming from. But he holds me, loves going for walks and eating! It’s hard but ya gotta find different ways to connect
My BF did that to me. Both pregnancies. He chose porn instead of sex. I still resent him for it to this day.
I wouldn’t be to concerned. You will be the one with a low libido soon. Relationships go thru ups and downs in the bedroom.
Your over thinking. When you are pregnant your emotions are all over the place. He may feel he’ll hurt you if you have sex. Then I
n the other hand .Then he may just want to give you space. He’s probably as scared as you . Men want tell you that.
Prayer Changes things. Try it. God will show you everything that you need to know about your man. I been there before so I know. I didn’t like what I learned about my husband but I needed to know because my ex husband kept lying.
Some men feel bad about having sex while their woman is pregnant its natural to feel insecure about things while you are pregnant as well. Take this time to learn about self love and ways you can love yourself so you feel less insecure.
My husband goes through periods where he has no libido due to stress or when he has 80 hour work weeks. Just like women their libido can fluctuate it is a part of life
First of all I would like to say, your feelings are valid. I would feel afraid and insecure too if my partner suddenly started acting differently towards me. However, if your partner loves you for you then it doesn’t have anything to do with your body. He could be stressed since the babies arrival is so soon. He may even be worried about how it may change the dynamic if this is your first child. Try not to meditate on all these worries, focus on the good & exciting parts & perhaps this positive energy will overflow to him as well. Everything is gonna be okay momma, you got this.
Most men think by having while ur heavily pregnant that it might hurt the baby …not so he’s also not cuddling with u cause he mostly gets turned on and he knows if he gets to close well he can’t control himself !!
Talk to your doctor about risks having sex while being pregnant it might.be a good idea to do so cause if its correct u could harm the baby.u.wontnfeel so.bad.if your hubby.is saying he doesnt want.to complicate things tells this to.your doctor. If it is true.or not good luck
I think if he’s not upset you shouldn’t be either. Your thought are your own and you shouldn’t project those onto him. Maybe he’s worried about hurting the baby? Maybe he’s stressed because the baby will be here soon. There are all kinds of things that could be going on that have little to do with you personally or how he feels about you. It can be stressful. Talk to him see if that’s what he’s going through. The least you can do is believe him if he says the issue isn’t you.
Same exact thing happened to me. Same exact excuse, plus a couple more. Nothing has changed and our baby is almost 2…I wish I had some words or advice to make you feel better! I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Maybe it really is him and you shouldn’t take it to heart? I’m currently pregnant, but even not pregnant, my sex drive is all over the place and always changing.
Dont worry guys think the craziest and it is probably just fear of hurting the baby . Just reassure him and tslk with him openly.
I wouldn’t take it too seriously. This is a change for him too … communicate and have a conversation. Maybe there are different ways you can spice up intimacy …
Until the dsy he died and he was 74
Men have hormone fluctuations just like the ladies do. So even if your sex drive is up, it could affect him by lowering his.
Same this happened to me. I just had my 3rd baby almost 3 months ago. Once I started to show more and more, the sex became less and less. I also asked and talked to my BF, are you still attracted to me? Yes. Did I do something wrong? No. Why don’t we have sex? He told me it was due to stress from work. I didn’t really believe him. And I definitely it took it to heart and made me feel very unwanted. I honestly think, he just didn’t want to due to me being pregnant since having baby, we have had sex and he’s back to his normal self. Only advice I can give you is, try not to think about it and buy a vibrator I had to satisfy myself almost my whole pregnancy but since having baby, I haven’t used my toy.
Just don’t let him watch you give birth lol make sure he stays behind you
I think it’s a guy thing the further along I got the less and less we had sex. For one it became hard to find positions that worked and second I think they just don’t want to hurt the baby or feel weird when it starts to drop. I just had my daughter a few weeks ago and things have gone back to normal in that category. Also have to remember we are extra hormonal at this time so sometimes we overthink things or take them personal when it’s not.
Men do become stressed when It comes to being close to due date. Stress can cause a low libido.
And even then some first time dads get nervous about hurting the baby even laying a hand weightless on your belly scares the shit out of them. He may even believe you’re more fragile now and worried about doing sexual things in fear of hurting the baby.
Reading this is like looking in a mirror. I’m due in 2 weeks. My bf says it’s not the baby he’s just to exhausted and stressed about everything else. Men have there moments like us women don’t over think.
I went through this and he told me that he was scared about hurting the baby and when the baby moved it freaked him out.
It’s probably nothing hun he may just think ur too delicate and worried he will harm u x
I could totally see how things could be very stressful at th we moment given all the craisiness
It’s probably just anxiety about the baby. I am 35 weeks myself and my husband experienced this earlier in my pregnancy. I got him to open up by admitting my own anxieties and insecurities. The same outdated notion that women automatically know how to parent amazingly that makes us feel inferior when we don’t applies to them, as well. They often don’t realize you are nervous and scared about becoming a parent, too, so they think that you’ll judge them or be mad for not being prepared or something.
He may be scared of hurting the baby or not fully understand that he can’t “poke” the baby and that baby has no idea what’s going on. Definitely try to have an honest open conversation and remember you’re still beautiful and he loves you!
Pregnancy is hard. You have no control over your body and no matter how happy you are for the upcoming baby, your self image is rattled by it. Maybe he doesn’t know how to approach you or isn’t sure that you really feel up for it. Try to approach this less as a ‘does he still want to be with me’ and more as ‘how am I feeling about myself?’
Because your body right now is temporary and the baby will come in just a few short months. But the way you feel about yourself may require more work and you might not immediately go back to the way you were/felt before you got pregnant. Take care
I wish it would have been that way for me when I was pregnant with my youngest. I hated his sperm donor an tried everything I could to get away from him an not have him touch me but nothing worked he was always up my ass:woman_facepalming:
It happened to me too while I was pregnant and I even got angry but he used to tell me it was because of the baby he didn’t want to hurt
Talk to him ! This is a big change for both of you ! His feelings matter to , you may feel the way you do ! But maybe he feels even worse ! Maybe he feels he will hurt you in some way that would hurt the baby!
Just talk to him hun! Good luck mama bear
Can you take control? If he is sitting or lying down go cuddle with him instead of waiting for him to do it. When you want more than cuddling I’m sure you know what to do that will get him wanting to, pregnant or not!
I had this with my partner while pregnant with my son.
We were very affectionate before and our relationship was great! We had a horrible time getting along and we were the worst we had been while pregnant, as soon as I gave birth we were back to normal!
Our relationship was fantastic again and he’s an amazing father!
Some dads just tend to feel more distant and emotional around that time, it makes it worse with all the hormones.
Just hang in there!
When I was pregnant with my youngest I was horribly sick I had a pic line to my heart feeding me. My husband had to literally do everything. One day towards the end of my pregnancy I had myself convinced that my husband was going to leave me after the pregnancy because I was too much trouble. It was my hormones, that baby is 21 years old now and my husband and I are best friends. It truly is how you weather the storms together. Good luck sweetie, I hope this helps.
No sweetie I’m a old lady responding. I found out later after feeling like you do. My husband said years later that he was afraid of hurting me or the baby. Obviously men have less knowledge of female anatomy. Take it as a loving compliment I’m married over 30 years
Sometimes this isn’t normal man Cora married to pregnant women feel left out because your focus right now is on your unborn child and you’re not taking care of him or at least he thinks you’re not or you’re not doing this or you’re not doing that just reminding you loving and that that baby is his too
My husband wouldn’t either during my last trimester but he has some past history I really don’t want to tell a pregnant woman. It was a terrible coincidence but it has negatively affected him to this day (this was almost 20 years ago)
It’s so normal and it’s really hard to get to the bottom of it when it’s happening. Most of the time, dad’s can’t balance being a dad and a husband. He wants to protect you and baby at all costs, but he doesn’t know how to do that and be intimate with you. We’re so conditioned to thinking sex is dirty and wrong that he may feel weird about it. It’s probably more of an intimidation thing/fear of baby coming/his own insecurity/ etc. Sit and really discuss it. But also remember that pregnancy is temporary
See if he would like to have a romantic date night away from stress and you should be able to discern whether he is being honest.
The knowledge that they’re becoming fathers causes a decrease in testosterone and an increase in estrogen to make them more nurturing to the new baby. There’s also the pressure of providing for the baby, so men sometimes have a lower libido during pregnancy.
This happens. It’s probably nature to protect the baby as the baby doubles in size at this time, which doubles the weight on your cervix. Be patient. He loves you. Men to have natural instincts as well.
Well just make sure that this is a pregnancy thing and his not losing interest in u or something my husband loved me when I was pregnant he said I was more beautiful when I was pregnant than ever b4 I never believed him bc I have always thought I was ugly
Sometimes when you get further along the guys tend to stay away. Not because they are uninterested but the fact that they can clearly see there is a baby there. Guys in the back of their minds don’t want hurt the baby. So they steer clear for a bit
I just went through this same thing. Just be vocal about it and ask what the real deal is. For my fiance, he was afraid of hurting me or the baby. He loves you, and I’m sure he doesn’t want you to feel this way. Just make sure to communicate and I think it’ll get better. Pregnancy REAAALLLY messes with your head whether you are aware of it or not. Things that are no big deal are suddenly a huge issue because your hormones are rude. Good luck and congratulations enjoy your baby being with you while you can youre going to blink and they’ll be 9months old .
A lot of guys have a hard time cause they are worried about hurting you or the baby. Some guys have a hard time once you’re pregnant cause now they see you as a mother figure. Please talk to him openly and honestly. Also, please don’t take it personally.
Yes with my 1st st child we were both young and with it being a 1st for both of us and both being young it was a stressful thing for both! Not to mention the pregnant hormones. He felt the weight of the world and didn’t communicate (which alot of men don’t out if pride) where as a woman personally I just felt the joy I was ready. I’d say just keep communicating but remember he is going through this as well encourage him to communicate so you can better understand how he feels it will help tremendously
Its purely instinctual for men to back off towards the end of pregnancy for a bit. Don’t sweat it, you’re very attractive and I’m sure he is curious as to what is happening to him as well.
Well honey right now in this world there are plenty of things that cause stress and worry. Financial, nervous about being a father, hurting the baby or you pandemic etc. Hang in there and keep communications open.with him.
There are probably a lot of reasons . One he could be afraid to hurt you and the baby which he won’t but men do feel this . Second the stress of a baby could be weighing in him . A lot of men won’t admit these bother them . Others pregnancy has the opposite reaction. Hang in there . Do things that make you both comfortable. If it’s still happening after the baby is here then get some help
Well I feel like If you are not confident than you will feel insecure. Don’t worry sister I still am doing my best to feel confident but I think that’s what’s sexy not your belly size. This is my third summer in a row pregnant… believe me I feel so down. I am so over being pregnant. But it’s only temporary than after you get to look how you want to look.
It’s pretty common actually!!! Probably stress and he may be worried about the baby. My husband was like this too! Baby is now 2 months old and we are completely back to normal! Well actually we have sex more lol it will be okay! There are other ways to be intimate besides sex! Have a date night (even at home) candles, wear something that makes you feel pretty! Order in so no one is stressing about cooking or cleaning! Cuddle and watch a new movie…
Some men don’t want to maybe they think they will hurt the baby or something. Talk to him again and let him know how you need him and maybe you will just have to seduce him. Trust me I have 6 kids and have been happily married foe 35 years. Communication is very important glue for marriage besides love trust and respect. Good luck.
Some men get stressed out over becoming a dad (and I’m sure with the craziness of the world isn’t helping) and unfortunately stress can lower their libido.
My husband wouldn’t have sex with me once I started showing. He had the fear of hurting the baby each time. Even tho he knew it was impossible to do so he didn’t want to take that chance. But for me it was ok that we didn’t because honestly by the last trimester sex was not on my mind. Now after all the kids are born he was on me like you wouldn’t believe lol. It’s all about communication. Most importantly get him to talk.
Have you actually noticed a change ? Or you just feel like its different ? My hormones were crazy during pregnancy and they played a big part in how I felt emotionally. I wanted sex a lot but him not so much so I felt like he wasn’t attracted to me but that wasn’t the case he was just tired lol.
Hope it works out.
I don’t really think it’s the pregnancy that’s doing it. Now hear me out. It could be any number of things. Maybe he’s just tired or work is getting him down. It can be literally anything but you aren’t the problem. Any woman that can carry a child for 9 months or carry a child in general is beautiful. I wouldnt stress too much. Pregnancy is a difficult time not just for you but for your partner as well.
Sending hugs your way. With both pregnancies - as soon as my husband found out we were expecting he did not touch at all. He did rubbed oil all over my tummy. But as soon as I had the babies (c-sections) he couldn’t wait. Give it time. Everything will be ok. My husband is the best father to our children…
Then believe him and focus on the important things in life. Be more affectionate to him and he’ll be more affectionate to you. Don’t be so needy.
Some guys are uncomfortable/scared to be intimate with pregnant women. Like they think they’re gonna stab the baby or send you into premature labor or something (which isn’t as crazy as it sounds it’s actually common I think )
I know my husband went through phases like that. Men really do have a lot of feelings and stress with providing for a baby. One thing my husband was scared to ask (he was 21 with our first) but thankfully did, will he poke the baby or hurt it. You would think they would know but it is so sweet how much they really do not understand about everything your body is going though.
If it’s a first pregnancy for y’all he may be scared he will hurt you or the baby but if he’s getting older maybe he needs to have his testosterone levels checked
Been married a long time…chase him then.my experience.He loves u.Alot of fear w babies.And if you dont feel pretty he aint responsible.That is on you.
It very well could be nerves or it could be that while he still loves you and it very much attracted to you some men do not like to be intimate with a pregnant woman and others love it.
You’ve got to look at it more of you’ve a baby in your belly rather than your not attractive, I can see how a man can find it difficult to want to be intimate knowing (in his mind) baby is inches away from his manhood , try find different ways to connect with eachother movies cuddles long talks time together it won’t last forever xx
Happened my second pregnancy. He decided he didn’t want to be with them found out I was prego again. So he stayed with me and started cheating. He never stopped
Trick him to be touch…
Babe let’s practice some breathing techniques the baby needs you …if you dont know how to, find some videos maybe in you tube…it is awesome cause…he needs to hug you and also give you some massages… it’s really nice…love vibes ur way …Pretty♡
My husband was this way mainly bc he was afraid he’d hurt the baby! We had one miscarriage before our two girls!
My husband was always afraid he would hurt the pregnancy somehow, we tried for so long with our first 2 that he was scared of causing me to lose it
Yes, he could be stressed. Some men also get scared of hurting the baby during intercourse. Especially if it’s your first you may want to take him for your next Doc app. and have a discussion about his possible fear. This is a big change and people are inclined to feel different ways about such a thing.
My husband was right the opposite with our 1st child but was like this with our 2nd. He was scared to touch me. I had our daughter at 34 weeks so it was probably a good thing my husband felt that way.
He sounds really stressed. My hubby shuts dowm like that when shits on his mind. Yes, you need reaasurance too. What you’re feeling is okay. He’s also feeling stress and uncertainty… and men usually dont know how to vocalize that without appearing “weak”? For lack of a better term … at this time, he just needs total assurance that he’ll be a great dad. And a reminder that you 2 are a team, and leaning on each other during stressful times works much better than carrying the burden alone.
Congratulations you 2. And God bless your family
Just remember to communicate and never tell someone their feelings are invalid. (Not that you did at ALL!)
My husband was the same way in my last trimester but once the baby was out we were back to normal. I think maybe subconsciously they think something may happen.
Communication he maybe afraid to hurt you as these folks said…but cuddling holding hands just all around passion you should feel it…him as well do the things you did before talk talk talk about it you should never feel like you have to beg to be loved my opinion married 42 years 4 kids…we still hold hands
Definitely had this problem it went away it could be hormonal my husband can smell out my hormones like a dog. He always wants sex during certain times of the month I told him he does this and he said he’s unaware of it but I swear I can mark a calendar on what days he will want sex
First off, congratulations on your bundle of joy! I’m sorry you’re having this issue w/him. It does seem a bit out of the ordinary to not even want to cuddle. Definitely continue to communicate w/him. I hope things get better for you two!!
Same for my first. It made him uncomfortable to know someone was there. Trust me…that went away with child #2,3,and 4. Be patient- its probably more in his head than anything else.
Dont worry about it to much I know how you feel and as long as you make yourself feel better and you know your worth how he feels about you will pass. Go get your hair done, buy some new clothes and build your own self esteem with pampering and positive affirmations.
Maybe think about it like this. Hes about to become a father. He probably has a lot of things on his mind. Try talking to him about what’s on his mind. Support each other. You wont be pregnant forever.
Human biology says that everyone’s libido goes through changes. Your whole life is changing. And stress can really affect a man’s libido just like a woman’s. I would keep the lines of communication open, but I wouldn’t throw an emotional fit (not saying you are) but being pregnant has your hormones all over the place right now. Anyway I’m sure everything is going to be alright. Good luck and congratulations on your new baby.
Women go through a lot in pregnancy, weight loss/gain, hormone changes, and most common appetite adjustments but some men also go through this too. They can actually become more sensitive to their partners condition and have mood swings and weight gain of their own. And yes their sex drive can change as well, don’t be alarmed or over reactive it is natural to some men, most cases it involves some kind of stress for your condition or what will soon be.
If this is yalls first child or hes young hes probably scared he will hurt the baby or u… or it could be stress… the cuddling thing is weird tho ?.. men can also have hormonal issues too, my husband was just as moody as me pregnant with all of our kids… his mood basically matched mine and he also gained weight with me which was great because i get depressed about being fat when im huge pregnant lol
My husband was like this with our first. In my 3rd trimester he didn’t want to have sex , he said it just feels weird to feel or see him kick and it gets him out of the mood. Lol honestly I didn’t blame him! Now , 36 weeks with our second , he still wants to have sex, just not certain positions lol again I completely understand! It’s a beautiful thing to carry your baby , but I can definitely see how it can kill the mood a bit . It’s probably just the fact that it feels weird to him & hard to get in the mood.
You should try talking to him about it commutation is key in any relationship… I feel like my husband got more grabby every time i was pregnant
There is a thing called dad brain. His brain is also getting ready for this upcoming baby and he might not fully understand what’s going on.
My husband was the same way and he said it was because I have lost so many pregnancies before that he was afraid.
A lot of women have increased sex drive while pregnant and some men are scared to do anything thinking it could hurt or cause injury to the baby. Maybe have him go to the Dr with you and have the Dr explain that it’s okay to have intercourse. Maybe a date night will help also. If he doesn’t understand why or what’s going on, also have him have his prostate checked… It’s the male organ that impacts libido.
Some men have a fear of hurting the baby that could be the problem it will cause his sex drive to decrease its not about lack of intimacy just an insecurity of hurting the baby itll be ok
Yes I have when I was married to my first husband he treated me like that I never really never did get over it lady so I know how you feel ok mama
The extra stress of a pregnancy, of the world, and the changes in our own hormones. Itll be alright
Oh yeah!Don’t worry he probably doesn’t want to hurt the baby! Listen as long as he loves you,and you love him you will be ok after the baby!Tell him you need a hug! Or grab him and give him a hug! He should get the picture
He should make more of an effort. Some women need to know they are loved and cared for no matter what. If he has a big stomache would you still love him or no longer want him?
My husband was the same during my 1st pregnancy. He " didn’t want to hurt the baby."
Most men are more worried about causing harm or discomfort to you while pregnant. You’re only concerned about your feelings but you aren’t even considering his feelings in the matter.
My husband told me he felt weird making love to me with baby in there
I agree with Heather they tend to steer clear so as not to hurt baby.Dont worry things will get back to normal.
My husband loved the baby bump but to each his own do. Not worry it’s not you
A lot of men don’t like being intimate in the later months because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable.