Today is my sons’ year birthday; we have been having issues with my parents and their favoritisms towards the other grandchildren. My parents have the other grandchildren every other weekend for the whole weekend plus Tuesday and Thursday when they get out of school. Yet if I ask for them to watch my two kids (stepdaughter and son) they act like my kids are burden or they will flat out tell me they don’t have time to watch them ( keep in mind I had a Drs appointment and thus why I asked. NOT because I wanted time alone or away from them) The end of November I had a total hysterectomy, my mom went as far as to text me “so we aren’t responsible for your kids right? You have someone else watching them, correct?” My husband ended up staying home with the kids, and I alone at the hospital in recovery. We live 3 minutes’ walking distance away from them. Am I sensitive, or do they actually hate my kids? What would you do? I have tried talking to them, and They told me I was making mountains out of molehills… aka making me feel crazy. Since my son’s birth, they had watched him 2x in the entire two years (only when I was in a pinch) and after they complained about him and the fact that had to watch him for the next two months. My kids are not ill-behaved either, my son is a dream, and my stepdaughter is a pleaser.
Just ask her “ do you have an problem with watching my kids?” If yes, then ask her “what is the problem?“
Anyone that treats my child differently gets removed from our life. Period.
Simple. Ask them why.
You don’t have to have them in your lives just because they’re your parents. They seem very toxic. I am so sorry
Do your parents also favor your siblings (the ones that have the kids that your parents favor)? You’re not crazy. You see a difference in treatment because it exists. I would make other arrangements. I can’t imagine your parents will treat your kids right later down the line if this is how they’re acting. How could you complain about a baby? They sound very selfish. Cut your losses. They’ll end up treating your kids like crap when they’re older, especially if they treated you poorly in comparison to your own siblings.
My MIL practically raises my SIL’s kids but doesn’t even attempt to see my daughter. My husband doesn’t say anything
Are all the other gr.kids biological - some parents I have learned over the years have issues within themselves about having step anything be it their own stepchild or step-gr.child which is all but crazy to me in itself bc once you marry someone with children they become your children in my opinion. You aren’t crazy sweetie they are just not being nice. I’m a gr.ma and I’ve had my share of children in my home to love and cherish and some weren’t even related at all. In my prayers sweet girl they are truly missing out on the blessings of your kids.
Toxic don’t ask anymore
I would never ask them again, if they still don’t ever see them you will have your answer. Their loss, my heart prays they see they do miss you and your family.
Parents r assholes cut them off u will feel so much better
Cut them off they arnt worth if
Talk to them. My MIL has always favored my SIL kids. We just never talk to them now…
Walk away…they will end up hurting your children emotionally. It’s sad but it happens and it’s not the kids fault. You would protect them from strangers so you need to protect them from family members who dont show love also. I’m so sorry you and your kids are going thru this. Take it to the LORD in prayer and forgive them for their ignorance.
Your kids would probably only feel unwecome! Find some one you can trust to treat them right! Their loss!
Cut them off. Your kids will see the preferential treatment. I would cut ALL communication with them.
Something tells me you know exactly why they won’t watch her kids but for some reason you come to Facebook to look for sympathy. Maybe your kids miss behave who knows but there’s got to be a reason and instead of coming to Facebook you should probably just keep this in the family and talk to them about it
Don’t ask again. Accept it and don’t stress over it. You know your kids worth. Hopefully your parents will see it later. My parents didn’t appreciate overspend time with my boys until they were older
Not enough info. From what I’m gathering the other grandchildren are older. Could this be a factor?
Cut them off. Your babies come first, just because you share dna with them doesn’t mean they deserve access to your kids if they are going to be shitty humans.
Your description of the timing of when your parents have the other grandchildren sounds more like a visitation schedule via a court order (given to a parent by a family court judge). Are your parents replacing a sibling and caring for the children due to an absent parent? If this is the case, it may not be favoritism, it may be necessity and they just may not want to deal with more kids when the “obligation” time is over. They may be done with “babysitting” once their “scheduled” time is done.
I get the feeling we’re not getting the full story.
Good luck and I hope your the family can all feel love.
Unless you are still rely on them financially, I don’t see why u still be around them? Doesn’t care it is favoritism or something else, we can never make anyone loves us. Why let yourself stay there and feel rejected again and again? You are just teaching your children to be in an unloved situation. Yes rejection hurts, no amount of talking will make them realize, it’s a matter of perception. Just learn to love them from far.
Just because they are your parents does not mean they are obligated to watch your kids but ya your right it does sound like they dnt like your kids. It also sounds like you might be their least fav child. I know I am my parents least fav child. LOL… Its okay life still goes on. I say treat them like they treat you. Theyll come a time in their life where theyll need someone and I guarantee your other siblings wont help them but neither should you but make sure you remind them of the times you needed them and they werent there. Karma is a bitch!!
They are gaslighting your feelings. You need to tell them in a way they can’t do that. First say “I feel like you dont like my kids as much as the grandkids it makes me feel…” Then when they gaslight you “you’re making a mountain…” Ask them to explain as if you dont understand…and keep making them explain their shitty behaviour till they get it. If they don’t then cut them off.
I have to ask, WTH has this world come to that grown adults will so quickly advise another grown adult to cut his/her parents out of their and/or their children’s lives? Especially when y’all are only getting one side of the story??? SMH!
Many of us don’t have family around and we just don’t have who take care of our kids. Life is doable without free babysitting, is lots you can’t do, no parties or romantic holidays, is just how it is.
Toxic grandmother, my mother hated my son with cystic fibrosis but loved my older son, she was so mean to him, we went no contact for 12 years now, never seeing her 2 grandsons grow up, now 22 and 24 years old. Life is so much better, happier.
Keep your kids away from them. If they treat them differently They feel it!
I’d tell them how you feel and that you’re walking away. That you don’t want your kids to feel unwanted by their own grandparents and see how differently their treated than the others. That if they change their mind and behavior they can call you and you’ll talk but until you actually see improvement don’t bother coming to the house or trying before you’re comfortable and seeing improvement.
Walking away from your family does not seem like the best answer. I find when I’m crazy emotional about something with my kids I have a hard time getting my point across… maybe if you put it in a sincere letter they may give your concerns more attention…just a thought!
Let it go, don’t worry about it. Just love your children the way you want to be loved 
Some kids take more energy than a grandparent has to give . Could this be the case ?
You’re not crazy, you’re being gaslighted. Cut ties. If you can’t, then distance yourself and your children. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, it’ll be way better without the their stress.
The most horrible feeling when your kid/ kids are treated different than the others.
Just don’t bother asking & leave them to it… As for your hysterectomy… Count yourself lucky,your parents were in the same country, my mother chose to go on holiday the day before I had mine 
has my neice at least once a week & is constantly with my sister either partying or shopping (I soothe my hurt feelings by knowing that it is because my sister is constantly having a crisis) some times family sucks
My mom did the same thing, except she loved my daughter more than my son, so after I spoke with her a few times, tried to give her time to change, and she didn’t, I was done, we no longer have a relationship. You will not treat my child/ren like crap period. If I were you I’d be done unfortunately.
Just wondering why “other grandchildren” go to your parents house every other weekend and twice during the week. Are they coparenting? or have joint custody of these children? If so, perhaps the thought of babysitting when they don’t have to be responsible for children is their right. Try your husband’s parents if you want a free sitter. And I had a full Hysterectomy as well and it didn’t matter if my husband was with me or not, I was so heavily medicated I could have been on the moon and not know, so no sympathy on that one. Sorry.
Had a similar issue and had to accept that they had a right to not watch them. It saddened me but just made me realize that we did not have reciprocal minds. I needed help after surgery too. I got a little but dealt with a lot of bitching. Families r supposed to help in times like these. If they r overly reluctant then accept it, but don’t hate bc that is not good for the children. When they need help as they get older respond with the same if u r busy and don’t feel bad about it. It’s a two way street. The other sibling owes them more for the help they provided,to them.
That is straight up favoritism at its worst
Don’t let your kids be around someone that makes them second guess their own worth. Same for you. Time is precious. They might be young now but when they get older they will pick up on the vibe that you have. If someone aka your parents don’t realize how wonderful your family is, it is truly their lose. Cut toxic people out of your life girl
You need to cut them out of your kids life it’s not fair for them to pick and choose when to be in your kids life that’s not fair to them make them make the effort and if they dont that’s exactly where your kids stand with them I’m the same way I stopped catering to people who cant even have a 2 min phone call with my kids to see how their doing
While they don’t hate your kids, they don’t have the need to help you. In my experience with Similar situations, you weren’t the favorite child and now your children arent their favorite either. As in, you know they did more for your sibling/s vs you, now it goes to your kids.
It sucks.my dad explained it that my sister needed more help and my mom says I have my husband as if its curse. In reality, my life is better than theirs, and thus I don’t Need anyone’s help. My mom recently told me, “your side of the family” she meant her children from her first marriage. My ego sang to hear her admittance that she saw us as separate from her. My my heart still hurt.
My brother and I were the ones that watched my grandmother favor the “other” grandchildren. It hurt! It’s very painful to watch. My brother and I chose to cut ties ourselves in our adult years. Save your kids the pain! If cutting all ties is not something you want to do. I would greatly reduced their time together. Just leave it where they know who they are but don’t expect anything from them. I wouldn’t invite them to birthday parties or family functions. Hopefully your parents will notice and ask why they weren’t invited. You can then explain to them that it’s up to them to choose to make your kids a priority! Be prepared for things to not change though. My grandmother was given a chance, she chose her favorite 3, and lost all others.
wow that’s ridiculous I mean I babysat my nieces and nephews no problems no questions asked . what a shame the grandparents act like their a burden , your kids don’t need that in their life and from the sounds of it neither do you . what kind of grandparents act like that … shame on them my mom loved being around all 15 of her grandkids when she was alive . I hope when my kids have kids they’ll bring them to me and I can hangout and do fun stuff with them
How old are your kids? Maybe they dont help you as much because their hands are full helping everyone else. Maybe you are better off just never asking them to do it. Imagine the treatment they get when your not there. I have the same problem… You just gotta protect and love them dont put them with people who could potentially make them feel unwanted… Ya it’s hurtful but your kids aren’t loosing out!
Look Dont let Nobody Nobody Make ur kids feel or attempt to feel a Certain way get ur kids into activities. Find u a. Church Family They just that way u and nobody Going to change. Keep ur. Kids from around their ass yes i saiid it Stop putting energy in this focus on other. Things kids feel that shit and When it come to my kids i will not subject them to bullshit
i have known such ppl my entire life…it taught me to love all kids equally…kids are beautiful creatures made by God…
You brought them into this world on your own its your responsibility to make sure they are taken care of. if you think it is there responsibility that is totally wrong. Figure it out ahead of time instead of thinking it is their responsibility.
I’d cut ties. Treat them all the same
My experience was that the grandparents are not going to treat the step grands like their blood children. Cold, I know. How did they agree to watching him for the “next two months” ?
I think the biggest problem may be your attitude towards them. Your jealousy of the other grandkids is being seen by them and I’m sure in your voice when speaking to them. STOP resenting them, apologize for your behavior and give it some time. If you know in advance the other grandkids will be there, ask the grandparents if they would like your kids also…a cousin weekend, over nighter or play date. Start small and let it go from there. If that doesn’t work after a few attempts then cut ties and be thankful that your kids aren’t subjected to that behavior. I’d sit down with them and ask why or what the problem is, let them know you want to correct it but don’t know where to start. Still guessing it’s your attitude toward the others. Last thought, have the other grandkids to your house more often as to strengthen the bond between cousins. You’d be surprised how kids can change the playing field. Your kids do a cousin weekend with the others and vice versa, when grandparents do one …the other kids will ask where your kids are? Hence, it puts grandparents on target to explain why and then maybe find out what the issue is. Good Luck.
Seems like favoritism I would just cut ties with them before your kids realize this also. So they dont get hurt in the process
You are not imagining anything. They are clearly showing favoritism. Do not push the issue because if you force them in any way, they will just treat them like crap and you don’t want that. Especially if they are watching all kids at the same time, your kids will notice it too and you don’t want them to feel unwanted by them.
Honey just STOP! Stop asking if you over reacting. Stop asking if you making mountains out of mole hills. Stop wondering if they hate your kids. Stop feeling hurt. Stop feeling like they see you and yours as less than their other children and grandchildren. Just STOP. If you dont stop- you will go crazy. I know how you feel. And no matter what you say or do, it won’t change. Bear in mind that it IS not yours or your kids fault. The fault is on your parents. Age old trait of favoritism. Let them be. Dont waste your time trying to change that. You never will. Just breathe… And let it go. Trust me, you will be better off. Sometimes we live our lives in the hope of approval from parents who will never give it. And when you realise this, you realise that time could have been focused on YOU rather than THEM. Love your babies. Love your husband. Love yourself. Pay a baby sitter or ask a friend for help when needed. Or Build a relationship with a circle of friends with children ao that you all have each other in times of need. Even the hubbies could be a friend circle, all for one and one for all. Make your own family as string as can be. And live your best life. 
That is just so sad! Favoritisms are sad to me. I have dealt with this. It’s like the only one they care about is the one that they “favor”. I hope things will change for you. It hasn’t for us and it’s been 30 years and she’s still at it.
So they don’t want to watch the baby?? Perhaps the baby is just a little too much work for them to do? My 2 travel 5 hrs away to spend weeks with my mom but my 4yr old hasnt went because hes not ready and too much work.
Ok, so, one possible reason: You won’t let them have control and they know that.
They seem to have complete control over the other grandkids and walk all over those kids parents, as far as how they parent their kids. Or those parents don’t care and allow them all this control. You WANT to parent your kids. And you have standards and guidelines they know you would want them to follow. …Or something like that. They know they won’t have the final word, so they aren’t going to deal with your kids unless it’s 100% the way they want to.
And this is just one of the many reasons, btw. Because there are more. Something is wrong with them. And you have to accept that. Overcome the denial that something is fundamentally wrong with them. They would hate the other grandkids too, if those grandkids and their parents weren’t so under their thumb. I’m assuming for financial reasons.
Maybe they see your kids & you doing good. & maybe the other grandkids have it ruff & they feel bad for them. It could be a million reasons. But that’s your mom you only have 1. Be greatfull you do & don’t let petty shit like this get between you. Be happy you have one.
I feel as if there’s more to this story.
Make other arrangements as it seems as though they do favor the other grandkids. I wouldn’t make a big deal about it but I wouldn’t spend any time with them and find other, better people to have in your life
I have 2 handsome sons from my 1st relationship which failed because my parents refused to approve the man.
I left with my kids and you know what its 12yrs now and they TOTALLY failed to love my sons for a day.
I got fed up of the descrimination and rejection and started living my life with my kids as a single mom.
Last year i met someone else and i ve a cute baby boy of a 2months and guess what! As soon as they learnt about my pregnancy they shunned me again and none of them called to say congs when i delivered. Am telling u upto now they havent even bothered to come and say hi or help in any way. Take heart dear, live your life like they never existed, it hurts but thats the sad truth some of us have to bear. Love your kids alot.
Good luck .
Clare from Uganda
You’re kids are better off not having to be those horrid ppl
so very sad. Your parents should treat them all the same. If my parents didnt accept my children/step children I would be distancing myself. Your children deserve better than to be treated like that.
This is terrible for grand parents to behave this way its plain n simple this is what u do give your children all the love they deserve and as for these people cut ties dont phone them talk to them and if they contac you asking what is going on u simply say I think you should be asking yourselves that question your behaviour has been inadequate. What is good for the goose is good for the goose is good for the gander stand your ground I’ve been in the same situation your not the loosers.they r so good luck
Sometimes, when you know your child is strong and able to handle life’s bullshit, you don’t let them back slide, you push them to push threw. It also sounds like the grandparents are supporting one family of kids already, and may already overwhelmed and at their wits end. Couldn’t possibly add more to the mix. But, then again, with the crazy shit I’ve seen in life, smh, smh, they can just be toxic shit, you really don’t wanna mix with in the first place. See the red flag, and see what it is. Something’s won’t change, give it your best try, but don’t spend your life trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Good luck, hope it all works out for you.
Could it be that one of your children is your step child? I’ve seen people in older generations not accept step children or adopted children. Very sad and hurtful, but I have seen this happen.
I would end the relationship completely.
Sounds upsetting to be knocked back, it’s easier to not ask and do it in your own or ask one of you or your husbands siblings, it means when your a grandparent you’ll understand and be there for your kids as a grandparent
I had the same thing with my mother in-law favoring my sister in laws kids. Rarely helped with my kids. Now she’s older & needs help-not my problem.
Oh fuck, dont start me. Went through the same shit with my in laws. My husband used to go mad about it, after so long of trying to talk to them, but they made him out to be crazy and denied they ever did it. Also, blamed it all on me. That I was the one telling my husband to say stuff to them! In the end, we seen them fo exactly what they were. Narcissistic fucks who would never admit to any wrong. Always making everything out to be someone elses fault and constantly playing victim. I’ve no time for that shit. Over 5 years since weve spoken and we never will again.
Id completely cut them off and tell them due to the way you and your kids are treated is exactly why and when they start to complain cut them off and tell them “well you seem to have no problem watching and so and so on any day so why is there a difference if you really have no problems with them or me?”
Not trying to sound mean or negative, but have you considered their problem may be with you or your husband? Not saying it’s warranted and it’s certainly no excuse to treat their grandchildren badly, in my opinion. How do your children feel about them? Do they look forward to seeing them? If so maybe you need to mend fences, if not, maybe you are better off without them. Just my opinion and I wish you and your children well.
The other kids sound school age, which is a lot easier than a toddler. Your parents are old and if your kids aren’t old enough or responsible enough to manage themselves then you shouldn’t expect your parents to… I don’t feel its a hatred towards your children, but it might be a heavy burden to bear.
My sister had her kids 10 years before I had mine. My parents watched her kids every weekend (best birth control ever, I was 13-17) while my sister was working and finishing school. My kids now are 7 4 and 1. I don’t expect them to watch them because they are exhausting to Me and I am their mother! I don’t feel like they love my kids less because they don’t help out as much.
I wouldn’t take it so personal. Things can change later on if your kids are pleasant to be around when they grow more.
If they are not putting in any effort to love your kids then that’s on them. Your babies will remember who was there and who wasn’t, don’t force your kids to love them, that’s the adults job to build that relationship.
Dont expect people even parents to watch your kid, maybe they dont want to baby sit a 1 yr old amd want older grand children
Can’t expect it. And what you keep allowing will continue. So up to you to change how things are. Dont like something? Then end it
My case is just the opposite. I’m the grandmother and had to cut ties with my daughter. She still hasn’t let me know when she has time for us to spend Christmas together and it’s Jan. 10th.
Go about your life it sounds hard to do and it is, but you and your family will adjust. Dont message, dont call. They know where you live. If they want to see their grandchildren, then they can make a damn effort. Be happy with your husband and children. Just because your blood related doesn’t mean they have to make you feel less than it’s called Toxic. You dont need it.
Maybe they just don’t like the baby daddy and are taking it out on you and the kids I know my mom did
Obviously they have a hidden agenda! Dump them!
Fuck them find somebody that will take care of ya kids when you need them even if you have to pay them. Your kids dont need to feel unloved by so called family
I would confront them with everything you just said and then cut them off. So sorry you have to go through that.
Tell them if they ask why you don’t talk to them it is because it is obvious that they don’t feel your children are any relation to them, they make it clear that they don’t care about them, don’t want to know them, and that they openly made it clear that your siblings children are their true grandchildren. They in turn made it clear they don’t want a relationship with your or your children and you find it would be a healthier thing for you and your child to align yourself with people who care about you. It is obvious they made a conscious decided to ignore you and your children.
If neither you nor your husband have done anything to bring this behaviour on, they don’t deserve time with your kids.
It’s ok to cut toxic family members from your life. You need to do what’s right for your family (especially your kids).
Time to throw a tantrum. State your facts. They can’t sweep this under the rug by dismissing you.
I did this to my parents a few months ago. I airered all my probs. I was angry and tired and just snapped. Beat thing I cpuld have done. My mother has taken steps to be active in her grandkids lives since and offered to baby sit (never ever happened b4).
Good luck
Time to accept the things you can’t change and fill your life with people who care and enjoy being with your kids. Fill that void you have with others. That is what I should have done myself. Instead I berated myself because. Of the way things were with mother. I thought it was my fault. Wrong, it is not the kids fault, it is not your fault. You don’t need toxic behavior from anyone.
Maybe they have favoritism maybe not, but it’s not their duty to take care of their grandkids it’s their choice. If you think that they love their other grandkids more than yours then stay away from them show them that you are not affected. No calls and no txt by then they will realize your worth. They will miss you and your children. You have to do something about who’s gonna take care of the kids when things are not going well that’s the hardest thing about having a family. You’re the only one responsible for taking care of them not your parents not your relatives but it’s only you and your husband because you made that decision to have a family of your own so you have to take all the responsibilities of being a good parent and not blaming anybody else for not helping you out- just a piece of my mind.
These ‘grandparents’ are assholes! I’d watch anybody’s kids to help them out - no matter WHO the parents would be! Frankly, you should move far away from them and save your children’s mental health from their abuse!
My mama always plays favorites between her grandkids. I’m glad I don’t have any kids because mine would not even exist.
I tell you what? Don’t ever bother with them. If anyone on this earth doesn’t want my child then it’s a done deal. I don’t care who it is. I would just not even bother. People think you have the obligation to be attached to family because it’s family. Family can be toxic as hell
Cut them off. You don’t need such in in your life.
Cut it off now trust Me it damages the kid worse when they are old enough to realize what is going on this was My entire life with My fathers parents but My mothers Mom made up for it
I go through the same thing with my sister’s kids and my family. Unfortunately I barely have a relationship left with my family and I stopped asking them along time ago. I just cut the extra stress out. It hurts but oh well.
Thanks for the lesson on how not to treat my future grandkids.
Are your in laws involved with your kids? I really hope so.
I wouldn’t want my kids no where I feel they are not welcomed. I don’t understand their reasonings and some people are just cruel without reason, that being said I’d do my best to ignore the whole situation. Just do your best to keep making it without them. They’ll regret it eventually.
My in-laws are the same way about my kids. I cut off all contact. I don’t deal with favoritism at all.
I’m so sorry your parents are gaslighting you. We have some resources over at The Undone Mama to help you grow through this. 
Yea this is sad. You are no crazy, you are valid and have every right to your emotions. If they don’t respect you with open conversation and make you feel crazy/ uncomfortable for having a conversationabout these feelings, a relationship moving forward with them may be one of distance.
My kids grandma did that… So i kept them away from her. Not to sound mean but her stepson died 2 years ago and nowwwww wants her son (my kids father) and kids around… Her 2 favorite kids are gone now. So i guess she has time and space in her huge house now.
I feel like there may be more to this. How is your relationship with your parents? Is there something else going on with you that would make them want to distance themselves from you? Do they not like your husband? Or maybe they disagree with something you did recently?
You’re not crazy. That’s really sad.
If my parents lived that close they’d probably see the kids every frikkin day. They live states away and it’s awful not having them around to watch my babies grow.
I’d resent the hell out of them if they were that close and never came around.