Your kids always come first. If your partner doesn’t treat them well and acts like he doesn’t like them, then he’s not the one for you. Period.
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You’ve been with him 8 months. Why has he even met them at this stage?
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your engaged after 8 months 
wow. ridiculous
you don’t even know him in that time… hes just now showing you himself… no one should even introduce their kids to someone until around this time!!
this is crazy how you girls just let people around your kids so quick and then get engaged even faster.
grow up
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No, at this point definitely don’t get married. You either should leave or slow things way down and see if after a few years they bond more. Don’t rush this relationship especially when kids are involved.
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If he can’t form any type of bond then i would suggest not marrying him. You could try to talk to him about his feelings towards the kids and see what he says
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Engaged within 8 months with 2 young children. Maybe you should take it a little slower. If he doesn’t seem interested in your children you should not be interested in him. Your going to be married to a man that doesn’t really talk to your children. If that’s what your going to do, start saving for a therapist now because in a few years your children are going to need it. How would you feel living with somebody that really doesn’t talk to you or has no interest in you. Your children will be your children for the rest of your life. Is that man really worth what your children are going to go through mentally.
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Try talking about it Otherwise get out
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Maybe he doesn’t wanna step over u with the kids it would be a good idea to really see where his hearts at communicating is a big key
8 months and engaged??? No. Choose your kids.
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If you notice it, your children notice it as well. They will also notice how long you allow them to feel this way. Most likely you’ll eventually have to explain why you kept them in such an uncomfortable situation. So I guess you should ask yourself if its worth it for you to have to be prepared to defend your actions to your children when they’re older.
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He is not anyone you need
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Your kids come first! The hell with him.
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If he has a problem with your children he needs to go! No man is more important than your children
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If you’re engaged, you should be comfortable with having this conversation with him. Don’t beat around the bush, point blank tell him how you feel and work to fix the problem or I’d say walk away. If you aren’t able to have this conversation or openly talk to him about how you feel. I think you’d need to take a long hard look and question yourself why you’re engaged in the first place. Eventually this will cause you to resent him, and your kids will realize and possibly resent you too. Your job as their mother is to love them, protect them, and teach them. How would they feel down the road, if the man you chose doesn’t love them and shows it.
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I made sure my now husband and daughter formed a bond before I agreed to engagement or marriage. He treats her exactly equal to his 2 sons. She just turned 4 when we met. She turns 7 next month.
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Kids have a very good sense of importance with others and I’m 100 percent sure they have picked up on this! Even at a young age. Coming from a child who don’t speak to their dad because of his wife, please don’t be that parent who chooses a significant other over your children, or you’ll be the sorry one later on.
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Hold up - you’re already engaged to someone you’ve only been with for 8 months? That should be enough reason to not marry someone right away but given that you get the vibe he doesn’t like your kids, show that boy the door
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He eventually will probably give you an ultimatum him or the kids, then what will you do??? THINK ABOUT IT…
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Nope. I could never get married let alone DATE someone who treated my daughter like that 
but that’s just what a normal parent would think
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If my partner didn’t like my children, I wouldn’t have stayed another day never mind 8 months.
My kids come first.
I have 3 special needs kids and I’m a single parent.
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Have you only known him for 8 months? That’s such a sort amount of time to expect any bonding. If you are hoping to have any type of relationship with him have open communication talk to him about it.
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You’re engaged after 8 months? Slow down & get to know who you are commiting your life to.
It’s natural that he’s going to have a better bond with his own kids. He’s known them much longer & they’re his. I bet you have a stronger bond with your own kids as well.
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It’s been 8 months. Your job is to protect your children and nourish their self esteem. Go with your instincts, you sense he doesn’t like them that is probably accurate. Move on and don’t look back. Focus on your children.
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I hope you’re planning a very long engagement. When you have children they come first. You dont rush to introduce them to every man that crosses your path and tbh after 8 months he’d only just be meeting my kids as a friend. I wouldnt have his ring on my finger…but we are all different
He treats your kids differently because he doesn’t know them. Together you have 4 children and if they cant all be treated equally then you’ll never be a family. Put your children first at all times.
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After the first sentence I learned all I need to know to be able to tell you LEAVE HIM! Your kids come first and this man is not the one for you.
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8 months?? Leave him. If you see it. They’ll see it.
My mom ruined our relationship when she chose her man over me. He hated me. I slowly became excluded from family events. Phone calls. It got much worse. Leave!
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Red flag 
your kids should be #1 and if I guy don’t like your kids why would u stay with him guys come and go your kids are there forever
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Huh? Not sure why this even needs other folks opinions…obviously you have issues within yourself that YOU NEED TO WORK ON…because um yea this is A NO for me…don’t bond with my children, then you can’t be with me…PACKAGE DEAL BABY❤
#neversettle
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You’ve been with him 8 months and are already engaged? Nope! Not when children are involved. Make sure that whoever you are with is a good pick for your kids not just for you.
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My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. I have 2 kids from a previous relationship and at first things were a bit bumpy. Once the kids got used to him and he used to the kids they started bonding. The way he put it, in the beginning, it’s hard because you don’t want to cross any boundaries with their bio dad. Bonding is hard because you’re trying to make sure everyone is comfortable and you sometimes just don’t know what to do. I did step in and help push it along. My oldest is very very attached to his dad and would always take things out of context or spin them in a way that looked bad and go tell his dad. His dad would then text or call me and whine about it. Kinda like a “how dare you let him send MY son to his room that’s YOUR job.” My fiance saw that and he would pull far away and not want anything to do with my oldest. So I had to step in and tell my ex that what goes on in my house is none of his business. As long as no one is laying a hand on my children or abusing them in anyway he has no say so in anything. After that and seeing that I would have his back in all situations he warmed up and bonded. My youngest and my fiance had no issues bonding. My daughter adores him as he does her.
well, its only been 8 months. give him time to bond, hes getting to know him and you at the same time, im a very shy person. im in a step family with grandkids, it takes time to be you around ppl, even kids. but once i do get close to them im their favorite, and mind you . I dont like kids period, but im the favorite nana in the family and I love them all very much. we have our own bond.
Why would you marry somebody or even live with somebody or even get engaged with somebody that isn’t 100% loving to your children? If you marry this guy your kids will grow up to be so mad at you and so resentful. You have to ask yourself what’s more important them for you?
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Huge red flag. Please don’t let this go any further. Both you and your children will be emotionally hurt.
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Oof it’s obvious that when it’s a package deal that means if you love me, you love my kids too. If there’s any type of acting different towards them, then it’s time to go
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Walk away your kids are first.
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Your children notice, or will if they don’t currently. They will not only dislike him, but resent you as well. I was one of those kids. I know. Leave.
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He doesn’t have to bond with your children. They are not his children. If he treats them right and acts appropriately around them, that’s all he needs to do. Your children have a father so stop trying to push someone else to take that role.
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Together 8 months and engaged. How do you treat his children? The same as yours. Talk to him flat out ask him why do you treat my children differently than yours . If his answer is well there are my kids I love them . I don’t feel that way about yours . Which in reality most fall in love with the person not the kids . That takes time . I assume he gets his for visitation and yours live with you . Talk Talk Talk communication. If not leave
Leave, if you’re noticing it believe me when I tell you your kids will and they will slowly feel like you picked him over them… 8 months and engaged is very quickly when kids are involved especially when he singles your kids out,
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Why are you still with him?
What do you mean you don’t know what to do? 
The moment you came to the conclusion that he doesn’t like your kids, should’ve been the moment the relationship ended. 
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If he cant accept your kids he needs to go, it wont get better
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Kiss his butt goodbye 
This is a HUGE red flag. If he is treating them like this now, it will not change when your married. Please, for you and your children, leave!
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Red flag alert!! Leave do not stay. He’s not man enough to raise ur kids like his own. If he truly loves u he’d love ur babies just as much
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I’ve been there, I should’ve left. I had a baby with him and was stuck. I love my daughter soooo much but my oldest was always treated badly. Im with a man now who treats them both like his own. Completely different home life
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I feel like this is an example of a boyfriend/girlfriend meeting the others kids too quick.
I dated over 6 months before my kids were introduced.
You know what to do Momma. Your kids comes first.
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Package deal. Bye bye
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Well if you don’t like how he treats your kids don’t make it permanent. Don’t marry someone who isn’t going to care and treat the kids like they are his family. You can try counseling but if he’s not willing to step up and be a parent. It’s time to move on.
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I wouldn’t be engaged to someone who doesn’t accept my kids. I have two kids from a previous relationship that my now husband met when they were 3 and 1.
One of the reasons I love him so much and married him, was the bond he had with my kids, how much he loves them and took care of them like his own.
We’ve been together 13 years and married for 4. We have a 5 year old together.
The whole reason I wanted to have a baby with him, I watched him raise my two, I knew he was going to be an amazing father and be there for us.
You need to leave him. He’s not going to be good to your kids now or ever.
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Yeah that’s a no. My boyfriend treats my 2 year old as his own. & no differently at all than the daughter we have together. I wouldn’t stand for that. Kids come come first. Who knows how he would treat them when they’re alone if he seems off in front of you.
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If it’s not addressed and things continue the way they are, I feel like you may end up resenting him and things go downhill quick after that starts to happen.
Only 8 months? Seems like you’re all just starting to get to know each other… maybe he needs more time to get comfortable in his new “step dad” title? How are you with his kids? Have you talked to him about this?
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Major issue!!! My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months, I have 3 (7,10,12) and he treats them as his own, as he should! We’ve had multiple conversations about it from day one and they love him and have an obvious bond! I would say you need to have a conversation- quickly, if you are engaged!!
Well i would think twice if I was you it will never work you will be walking on egg shells all the while your children are around and cannot see him even trying if he hasnt by now😥
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Get the fuuuck out of there, that’s my advice.
How is your behavior? I don’t think any of us have enough info on the situation to judge this man CB
Take it from someone who is living this life currently. It is a constant battle between picking my kids or picking my partner and in that battle I missed major signs that something was happening to my daughter by an outside source. Choose your children.
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Your engaged after 8 months??? Wow I’ve been with my bf 2.5 yrs and I don’t even have a ring yet we still live separately. Anyway ot sounds like he doesn’t like your kids. Sorry to say but u should really have a serious talk with him mabe leave.
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Dear god, how could you get engaged without taking your kids into consideration, all of these things have to be seen before you live with someone, get engaged or even think about getting married, or do you think everything is gonna fall into place by itself? I’m guessing this attitude didn’t just start now, so the signs have always been there, you just didn’t care
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If he doesn’t treat your kids as his own he isn’t the one! You need to leave now! Your kids deserve better! My BF loves my son and treats him as his own!
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Your poor kids! SMH 
start acting like a mother and put them first!
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I mean, I acted way different with my boyfriends son at 8 months than I do now. That’s not very long for someone to jump in and take on the parent role. You’re all still getting to know each other. Of course he’s going to act different towards his own kids that he’s completely comfortable with.
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Huge red flag. Would never date or marry a dude who “doesn’t like my kids” or treat them as equal with the other kids. Noooo
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Time for a heart to heart …
If you’re considering marriage he’ll be a father figure & need to be binding with your Babes …
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Tell him to fuck off!
Save yourself and the kids from divorce in the future. End it
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Take it from one who deffinatly knows, get rid of him b4 the abuse of your children starts!
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Umm… yeah don’t marry a man who doesn’t care about your children. It will have a huge negative effect on them.
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Say Goodbye to him!!
Your kids should be #1 above anything or anyone!! Period!!!
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Honestly I wouldn’t have even allowed him to meet my kids by 8 months and engaged to a man who doesn’t like or treat your children good is crazy
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You’ve only known him 8 months and your allowing him around your children? Nope. Time to go. Be more careful.
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Talk it out. Tell him it’s not fair that your kids love him more than he has love for them. I can’t be with anyone who doesn’t show love to my kids. They deserve unconditional love.
Your kids come first in this and if he can’t connect with them then you will not have a healthy marriage. Your are a package deal, it’s all of you or none of you.
Your kids should come first!!! I wouldn’t marry him you think it’s bad now the resentment will only get worse by you for him…if he can’t show the children any kind of acknowledgement then I’d tell him to get lost!!
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How could you get engaged to someone that you suspect doesn’t like your children? If it turns out that you are right, why would you want to be married to someone like that?
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You have only been with him 8 months and already engaged. Talk about fast. You have two kids that should be your first priority. The fact he does not engage with your kids how would you ever trust him around them? Women so fast to move a man in and really know the real man behind the curtain. You’ve already seen a BIG red flag but yet you want to ask for advice when you already know what you should be doing for your kids sake smdh.
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Red flag. Try communicating about it, but if you guys can’t get on the same page then you need to leave. Kids come above any man imo.
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That is tough. Coming from the stepparent side, if they act very different from his own children or he doesn’t have a say in how they behave when they’re with you guys, maybe he distances himself.
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Kids come first period.
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Yes, you know what to do. It’s just heartbreaking.
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Girrrrrl. Trust your gut. Take your kids and leave. They don’t deserve to be treated any different than the other kids. He shouldn’t be TOLD that he needs to treat them better. He should already instinctively do it bc he wants to. If you feel you have to tell him, well theres your RED FLAG. Best of luck.
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This shouldn’t even be a question. NEVER choose to marry a man who you can see doesn’t like your kids.
What kind of mother would even continue a relationship with a guy like that?
Oh wait, I know the answer, one who shouldn’t have custody of these children.
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You better have a long and serious discussion, about your kids his kids, obligations, expectations and how you and he intend to manage the future with your children. If you cannot resolve those issuesxits time to move on before you compound your problems!
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Well there is your sign. I would not marry a man that didn’t speak or have any real connection with my kids
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Dump him!!! Your children come FIRST
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You shouldn’t be engaged if he doesn’t treat your kids right. They are your first priority. You need to sit down with him and have a serious talk. If nothing changes then maybe it’s time to rethink your future. There’s so many ppl out there that would do anything to be in his spot. Remember your worth and those babies deserve to be treated right.
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Literally just ask him. This is something that can be solved by having a sit down discussion. Do not assume you know what is going on in your partners head. Communication is FIRST.
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Sadly that won’t change its usually gets worse
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My husband was 25 when we met and our youngest was 2. He has never treated him badly or been unfair. We have a 4 year old together and he still has never treated our oldest differently. Talk to him about it or leave. Just my opinion
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You should know what to do. Leave. Your kids come first always. This should be a no brainer.
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I just read the first sentence if you feel that way how do you think your kids feel you need to protect your kids at all cost and move on with out the partner
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Why on earth would you be engaged to someone who doesn’t like your children?
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Hung it up girl they don’t change
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I say walk now. If you don’t you will only hurt your babies and they feel the resistance from him. If he can’t love and accept your kids ask his own then leave. My husband of 9 years was told when we got together my kids comes first If you can’t accept them and treat them right then you don’t deserve me cause I am a package deal.
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Get out now! Things won’t change
You are a package deal. If he hasn’t warmed up to your children by now he never will. Don’t marry him until he changes his feelings. Big RED flag
I would talk to him about it. Clearly it’s an issue and before you make that jump it should be said and talked about.
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8 months, engaged, and issues with how he is with your children? You guys need to sit and talk or bail out.
Have you spoken to your partner about this? Seems like a lot of assumptions and no substance
You shouldn’t be with him
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