I have an eighteen-year-old stepdaughter from a previous relationship and also a daughter of my own from the relationship as well. My stepdaughter comes to spend time with my daughter every now and then, which is wonderful that they have a bond. I remarried about six years ago to a man that is a few years younger than me (we’re in our 30’s). I just get these vibes like my stepdaughter is trying to get attention from my husband, and I would like advice from outside sources. I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or if it is really something that I should be concerned about. For instance, she comes to visit and immediately changes into short shorts that are definitely inappropriate, and when we go swimming and stuff in the summertime it seems like she always wants his attention, and I catch her looking in his direction, and most of the time it’s when I leave to go get a drink or to use the restroom she will be over there playing around and showing off but doesn’t do it when I’m around. I know that she had started talking to a gentleman at her job that was 25 and later found it that he had a girlfriend and a child on the way, but she continued to pursue it for some reason. I would just like feedback on other people’s opinions and what they think I should do if it’s something I should be worried about.
Are you worried about your husband is the actual question here…
I’d trust your gut on this I dont think you’re paranoid at all
I think you need to have a serious talk with her and one with your husband
Time to chat with EVERYONE
This sounds like the beginning of a lifetime movie…
If u feel threatened that a teenager can and probably will snatch your husband!!! I’d be worried about him?? Because a man is a man regardless
If you trust your husband there is no issue. Its not like hes going to slip and fall into her vagina. She can vague flirt all she wants but good men who love you dont stray.
I say Have a talk with the both of them. If she dresses inappropriate let her know it’s not acceptable in ur home. Tell ur husband u dnt appreciate him playing with her .
Dies he show attention back ? Maybe u r paranoid , maybe she changes so she can be more comfortable, r you insecure when u r at the beach or pool ? Is she just being friendly?
Yes, it sounds paranoid… I’d suggest working on your confidence and spending time with your teenagers
I would be concerned. She sounds like she has boundary issues. From here on out, she wouldnt be over there over night. I would also let her know that I love her. Always will. But yeah, that will need to be nipped now.
She’s in your house, tell her ass to put clothes on or get out simple as that 
also if you don’t like how she acts around him confront her, what do you have to lose?
She needs to stay away. Pay attention to your instincts
Talk about it, open the convo. Put her on the spot and tell her what you’ve observed.
Sounds like she is out of control. I would set bounderies. She’s an adult.
I REALLY thought this said eight and I was horrified reading it
She definitely seems to be interested in him. Just stating facts. If shes going out of her way to do all of this & as u stated urself she pursued someone in a relationship still. She definitely shouldnt spend anymore nights at your house as a start . and I would sit down and discuss with her & him.
Maybe your daughter knows, to be honest. I know my daughter knows a whole lot about what her step sisters into and doing than the adults do. I’d think your daughter would have a sense of it. Also, if your husband is entertaining it, THAT is a problem especially having a teenage daughter and as for your step daughter, maybe its a crush…talk to her. Its disrespectful to you and herself and maybe she hasn’t learned that yet. Two things are for sure- gut doesnt lie and communication needs to happen before the damage
Based on just this info…
She needs a therapist.
Hear me out… She has self esteem issues and May be flirting with your husband but she has no intention on keeping him. She’s a “chaser”.
She needs to learn how to feel good abt herself without behaving in that manner. She’ll pursue the wrong man one day and she is going to end up in a really bad situation.
Talk to her dad and your husband. Someone needs to intervene, now.
Shes not ONCE mentioned being uncomfortable or worried about her husband!!
But the point is this is a young adult seemingly trying to flirt or create some sort of relationship with a man in a relationship, she’s over stepping boundaries and it needs to stop.
OP you need to talk to her, make it known you know what you’ve seen, make a point it makes you and your husband uncomfortable and she needs to stop or will only be able to see your daughter outside of the house.
You need to calm down a bit.
She’s looking for ANY positive male attention.
Unless your husband is reciprocating then I wouldn’t worry and focus on how to help her.
I’m confused. Is it your step daughter from previous relationship or step daughter from current relationship? I’d be having words to her about hormones and such if from previous relationship. If from current relationship then he is her dad and he needs to talk to her about appropriate behaviour, but she could still be trying to get daddies attention
Curious how things were when she was a 12 year old CHILD until now…
What is her relationship with her dad like? Is she affectionate like this with him?
If you have to ask and are questioning the situation it’s already a problem…nip that shit right away…no skeletons in the closet…lay it all out on the table…
I’ve seen this happen before, it definitely can be a problem.
Talk to her and set boundaries (like not being able to stay over the night) but, also ask your husband if he has noticed the behaviour. Maybe he has noticed it and ignored it because he doesn’t want to say anything that would upset you.
Okay I’m sorry but after a certain point you shouldn’t be calling her your step daughter when she’s not that anymore. She’s knows what she’s doing. You need to set boundaries. Maybe the ex husband is telling her to do that to make you uncomfortable? Who knows…but something for sure ain’t right
Suis ton instinct .c’est rare que l’on se trompe .
Wow sounds like a really big problem i wish you luck thats an awful situation.
If your guts telling you something’s up… some things up… I would go in and say something “what are you doing?” “Are you attracted to my man”
Dont let this go say something. Next thing you know…
Talk to your husband.
I would smack the bitch back to infantcy lil with
I can say, a girl if that age will go to great lengths to attract attention from a man. And whether he is interested or not she can cause great problems. Definitely dont leave them alone, and i would mention something to him about it. She may lose interest in this game soon
Your husband is flattered and she knows what’s going on…send her packing.before he has to go too.
In the event your husband hasn’t noticed what she is doing and does not reciprocate her attempts I would be mindful about bringing it up and drawing his attention to it.
Have a quiet word with her but unless he is doing something wrong I wouldn’t bring him into it yet
Trust your instincts.
Check out how your Husband is acting around uour stepdaughter and remember dear and deer got to stop to be cought and if he’s not giving her singles to continue to flirt sje should soon stop.OR COULD IT BE THAT YOUR JUST Insecure With your self JUST SAYING
I can relate to this…
When I was married, my husband at the time and I hired this girl to watch our daughter when we worked. She was beautiful. Skinny blonde chick. She was 19 at the time…she then started coming to our apartment when I’m not there…she asked for my husband’s number. Just things were not right. Come to find out down the road, that he did in fact sleep with the babysitter.
I’d talk to her. Be blunt, but nice to her. And then set boundaries in your home and let her come over for a few hours to see your other step daughter and that’s it. Or have them meet somewhere, other than your home.
Make sure your husband is not acting on the attention. It really does happen and it’s messed up. My exes cousin and his fiance allowed this 14 year old girl to move in with them because she claimed her mother was on drugs so they give her a place to stay being nice and months down the road the a month before their wedding, his fiance claimed that the 14 year old was sleeping with her man and she didn’t want any part of that manipulative behavior. For a while they kept it on the down low so nobody really knew what was going on but people had seen her showing up at his work, saw her driving his car, etc. but once she turned 18 they came out as a couple. I couldn’t believe it because this started out as 15 year old girl and a 37 year old man. Teenage girls are not stupid, they know exactly what they’re doing but you and your husband need to set boundaries so it doesn’t get to that point.
She has issues!!! Unless you’ve raised this child from birth or 10+ years you’re no longer her step mom. You are DIVORCED from her dad .
Now you have 2 options.
#1 she can call and text and see your daughter AWAY from your husband. Orrrr
#2 Eventually your husband will catch a “rape” or “sexual harassment” charge over it.
You have already stated she pursed a 25 y.o with a girlfriend and a baby on the way. Do you think this is going to stop?!?!
I so hope whoever you are, you read this and pay attention!!!
- Not your stepdaughter
- Ew
- Sever all ties to this woman, because she is a woman and have your daughter go to her if they’re still close.
She is no kin to you or your daughter cut her lose
How old is your daughter she comes to see?
She needs to be cut out of your life, until she can grow the hell up and act like a lady. Your husband is going to eventually end up in jail over this. NOT WORTH IT!
I get the feeling based off what you said, this is typical behavior for her.
She needs therapy, Jesus or an ass whooping. Whichever one comes 1st!
You need to cut ties with the stepdaughter just let your daughter go to her house problem solved…
Nip that shit in the bud. Shes an adult she knows full well what she’s doing.
I would discuss this with hubby! My oldest daughter was 18 when my now exhusband left me for a 19 year old! His oldest child was 14. We were in our mid 30s when this happened
Samantha Weerman 
Why dont you address your concerns? She is an adult now and she knows what’s appropriate and what’s not.
Trust your intuition. Call her out nicely but openly. Like short short… sweetie please change theres no potential boyfriends around here… or you catch her looking at him… say openly that’s mine find your own (jokingly) She’ll start to notice you’re catching on and stop.
If you were me tho I’d say something to my daughter and perhaps address it that way
Well If I was you I would sit both of them down and confront her in front of your husband with her father there to see what the expression on their faces would be and if they look like they have a guilty conscious then you know that he is pursuing the attention from her and that if she is going to disrespect you in that way she will not be allowed to come over and spend time with her sister but if she wants to spend time with her sister then her sister will have to go over to her house… problem solved…
Why don’t your daughter and step daughter meet up to hang out at their dads house instead of yours?
I would definitely have a chat with hubby… obviously I don’t know what he is like but when I babysat…15, but a full woman’s body I had the husband’s hit on me…to me it was a very uncomfortable situation…
Sounds to me like step daughter has some serious issues…
I would actually sit her down…tell her you don’t like her actions and give her a choice… behave, layoff, or don’t come around…
I disagree I feel if the man in your new relationship knows what she is doing and doesn’t act on it, which all men are not going to act on it.
I would talk to her and tell her in your home dress appropriate and your uncomfortable the way she is acting shut it down, if she continues let her know the visiting will come to a end.
I had a couple ladies do this with my ex but honestly he more then proved to me he was only with me, are trust was genuine and I never had to worry, hopefully you can trust yours.
She is either trying to sleep with him or she already is! Dealt with a skank that did this same thing to everyone that I’ve ever dated. Short shorts, perfume, everything to get attention from men from the time she was a teen & continued as an adult. She was a distant family member by marriage. Needless to say, it got old & I just stopped going around my own family that had her around & let her disrespect me. Im much happier now.
Get it understand it however, see her away from ur husband and other males for that matter not the best influence I would want around my daughter supervision is key!!!
Daddy issues talk to your husband about and talk to her or maybe she is got a little girl crush idk but this is unacceptable and inappropriate she is a big girl now let her learn a few big girl lessons but since you are step mom I would be nice no flying claws 
Oh hell nah SPEAK ON IT man if this was my family somebody woulda got a WHOOPIN 18 or NOT. Also really hoping your husband is naive and doesn’t even realize the girls behavior.
She has daddy issues is what we call that. She seeks a father figure but doesnt understand the difference between what she needs. She wants a bf but shes got daddy issues. So shes confusing herself and thinking she needs an older man to be happy or a father figure boyfriend.
She needs therapy. I think u need to cut her lose dear…
Your husband should be shutting that nonsense down. All it would take would be once for him to tell her to take the shorty shorts somewhere else and it’s not allowed in his house. If he can’t do that, you may have a bigger problem than you initially thought.
I’d start with YOUR HUSBAND. He must be giving her reason to keep doing it…and you are catching it. And I definitly would let her know about the inappropriate clothing. Your house she follows the rules or don’t come around.
See what happens when you have your husband to join you when you need to get that drink or whatever.
Um. Straight up ask her. She’s an adult. Talk to her like one.
Watch how your man acts around her. Watch the non verbal body language. That will tell you a lot on his part as well. At that age, she probably likes the attention. I hate assuming but I was that age once. Naive, people pleasing, insecure and wanted attention. Esp from men. Please watch his behavior and set limits on the dress code and time spent around him. Shes old enough to be aware what she is doing.
At some point you need to sit her down and being a woman yourself, our intuition is usually right. Stop things before they happen. Please.
I would be really nice to her and explain that you understand that young girls sometimes seek attention from men, but that it’s not going to be from your husband. Let her know that some of the things that she’s doing appear to be flirting with your husband, or at least, trying to get him to pay attention to her. I wonder if your husband feels really uncomfortable, also. Definitely talk to her. Maybe show her, by imitation, how she’s acting: Like, look at me! Did you notice my butt hanging out of my short shorts?
If your husband is trustworthy and loyal you have nothing to worry about.
I’m a youth counselor and have had personal experience with what you are dealing with.
Your husband should be someone you love and trust. If we can assume all is well in your relationship, then you should make sure you have a calm mindset and approach the situation. Sit your husband down and calmly address how you are feeling. If he senses he’s being attacked or accused, he will very likely clam up or get defensive and if you’re heated, you’ll most likely misread his reaction as being “guilty”. This must be addressed in a calm manner.
This young lady seems to have some deep rooted personal issues. If it is at all possible, try to put yourself in her shoes. You must know her far better than any of us. You must know of situations in her life that have caused her to lose her innocence and act inappropriately. If she is at all being influenced by pornography (believe me, most girls ages 16 to 20 watch it just as often as boys the same age) there is a massive fetish going about that is step sister and stepbrothers “experimenting” and unfortunately and disgustingly stepfathers and stepdaughters… if she is being influenced by this, which I’m not saying she is but if so, things such as pornography and just lust in general with a little teenage rebellion thrown in the mix can be catastrophic for a young girls mind. She may not even realize that what she’s doing is so wrong. She is too young to grasp what it actually means to be a “homewrecker”… what I’m trying to explain is that she also needs to be sat down with calmly. Most young girls who feel attacked will take it as a challenge.
Above all, trust your man and trust your instincts. Don’t let this go any further and calm yourself before having this important discussion.
Good luck and stay strong
A woman’s intuition is always right !
With that behavior I’d be more concerned that she may have been sexually abused growing up?
It may not be the case but children who have been abused sexually can start acting out inappropriately at a young age.
Maybe sit down and have a friendly chat?
Don’t mention why or accuse her. She may be trying to call out for help through behavior. I think it is great that you still have her as your step daughter. Wish you all the best
Talk to your husband about it find out what he thinks about it then go from there follow your gut
You need to talk to your daughter and watch your younger one there may be some thing going on and you don’t see
Yeah sounds like daddy issues. Shit my own sister would sleep with mine. If I left her alone. So yeah she wouldn’t be coming over
Talk to your husband, ask him if hes noticed and then sit her down and explain appropriate clothing and behavior at your house. And make sure your daughter is following the same rules as well
I would interrupt her in the middle of her hooching next time if you catch it again, and tell her immediately that she is there for her sister and not your husband. But definitly talk to your man and tell him its inappropriate for her to behave that way. And tell him the same thing. She is there for her sister. Not to be flaunting her booty.
Shes over at your home u set a dress code. She’s at that age where anything is possible so be careful
I wouldn’t say anything about it to your husband if I was you, it’s not his problem, doing so he would tell you to stop her from coming around if it’s making you uncomfortable, if not he will become uncomfortable after you bring it to his attention. What you should do is make a lunch date with just you and her and talk to her as a (step) mother/daughter letting her know exactly what you have seen and how you feel, then tell her what you expect from her if she wants to continue being a part of you and your family life, if she can’t except the boundaries you’ll have to limit her coming to your home.
Go by your gut feelings they are never wrong…She has her half sister there and if she is sincere coming over to see her…maybe you can make sure she comes over when your husband is not home…I don’t know how sincere she is about coming to see only sister…I don’t think you should talk with your husband about it…He will think you don’t trust him and that will cause an argument…don’t let him know this is making you uncomfortable…you can also say to her you would appreciate if she didn’t wear those types of shorts when she come over…just leave it where she is getting older now and there are crazy people out there today…and you don’t want her to get hurt…Good Luck! to you with this!
Go with your sixth sense she is so doing it and I would not have her over to your house or around him anymore
Set boundaries. No inappropriate clothes or behavior. If she respects you she’ll comply. It is typical behavior for young girls to create attention tho. This is where your trust between your husband and yourself come into play as well.
Wasn’t my stepdaughter but was my former daughter-in-law who was also a stripper. She and my son came down to see us on their honeymoon. Stayed with us since money was tight. She changed into different clothes after my husband got home. He made a comment; " This isn’t a stripper bar, you’ll need to put more clothes on. Show your ass off to your husband not the rest of the world." We were going to go out to eat one day when she put on a dress that barely covered her butt cheeks. He made a comment, he could go to the thrift store and get some jeans for her if she wanted to out to eat with us. Otherwise she could stay home. She 'was offended". He told her he and I were also offended and we told our son.
Unfortunately my first thought is has she been abused because the inappropriate attention seeking or needing approval from men around her can be a symptom of that. I would address it though,maybe she needs therapy. It’s definitely not normal behavior in a week adjusted adult.
Your senses are right on target. Set boundaries or she can’t come over. That flirting can only end badly for all.
Trust your gut instinct for sure!!
first of all, please don’t allow her to reflect who she is upon you, let her self implode all on her own, don’t sink to her insecure level, if she preys on ‘‘other’ women’s men, then let the bodies hit the floor, when you allow her to jezzabel her muses in, you become her victim, therefore your hubby will be fodder, step up, and shut that dam door gurl, let her ‘‘elf on the shelf’’’ way over there,
Set some boundaries. Speak to her about it and if she has an issue with what your saying, she no longer needs to come to the house.
Although I wouldn’t be worried about a little girl, I would be frustrated of the situation.
They probably already hooking up
I think it’s all about how your husband reacts. If he entertains it she’s gonna keep doing it. Even if it’s an innocent conversation she’s loving every second of it… But if he gets up and walks away anytime she tries her antics she’ll eventually lose interest cuz she’s not getting what she wants. He may not doing anything wrong at all… But he could do more in the way of just not being available for her to even try
Oh , someone doesnt like you because you are now her dads ex . 
sorry. Maybe you need to talk to her and ask her why you feel this way. Or why shes angry at you. Thats just what i think… i might be wrong
You need to set boundaries and if it continues, she can’t come over. Also, your husband needs to say that her behavior is not appropriate nor wanted. Again if she can’t or won’t respect that, then she cannot come over.
Women’s intuition is real, pay attention to it.
Just remember it takes 2 to tango 
I would sit down with your husbant and talk about it bring it to his attention and work together as a team.show each other more attention when she’s around be loving towards each other then her will soon see she doesn’t have a chance it’s a teen crush
It also depends on the vibes he is setting off. Both sit down and speak to her
Hmmmmm. Dangerous waters. She’s not your daughter, she’s your rival. Kick the bitch to the curb ASAP
My uncles(moms bro)babymama tried to get my dads attention when my mom open her home to her when my uncle went to prison and she was pregnant with his baby… she wanted everything my mom had…YOU HAVE THAT FEELING FOR A REASON…
You are being so paranoid, get over it.
Don’t let your insecurities take over. It all depends on how your husband is responding and re-acting. Isn’t your daughters fault to lose a friend/sister over. There will always be women who dress and behave inappropriately - it’s your husband whose held to a higher standard 
Definitely set some clear boundaries going forward.
Most definitely be worried
Considering she is an ADULT i would confront her and see what she has to say for herself
I’d talk to your husband about it. See if he’s every felt that way/been uncomfortable by her/noticed anything. If he has I think him saying something rather than you would be the way to go. If he hasn’t maybe he can keep an eye out for it going forward.