Kick that mf out. He grown as hell. Give him 2 weeks or a month and bye bye 
you have a baby on the way to take care of and a husband. That man child is not your priority.
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Put the baby stuff up in the living room lol he’ll get the idea and when he ask say the day the baby comes no more couch
Girl, set your boundries and EVERYONE must stick to it. There is no need for yout feel like a stranger in your own home. Tell him that you want him there but you have your rules and if he doesnt like it he is more than welcome to leave.
I’d talk to my husband and be honest. If not I’d personally pack his truck and kick him out
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He has a job tell him to get a apartment take the truck back so he can be independent from you
Your husband is ok to stay alone now right? I would most definitely talk with your husband calmly and tell him your concerns and your thoughts. Let him know that he is now ok and it’s time for the son to start his own life and be on his own. Be calm, mabie you and hubby go out to a nice dinner to keep his boys and pulse down.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my stepson has taken over my house: Advice?
I think if he’s gonna sleep all day and be up all night, not help and be an issue he needs to go. He moved in to help, but it seems he is hindering. You’ll need your lounge back when the baby comes. The son now has his own job and can get his own place. If he doesn’t want to do that then you need to set boundaries and rules. The couch must be free for you if your giving bubby a bottle of breastfeeding.
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Talk it out. At 21 that’s an adult, not a kid. Set down boundaries and ground rules. Make him pay rent or attend school for some sort of degree after work if he wants no rent. Let him know exactly what you’re unhappy with and make sure he knows that he is living in your home on a probationary period since dad seems to be doing a bit better. Remind him you have an actual baby coming, so you don’t have the time to deal with a 21-year-old baby. And if that doesn’t work? You asked what to do with a boomerang kid. Throw him right out if all else fails 
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You’re all 3 adults have a conversation. Do like the others said and tell your husband exactly how you feel and what you want to happen. Then the both of you sit the son down and explain how things are going to be in your home. Hes 21 so if he wants to run to his mom let him.
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This is a conversation that you have to sit down and have with your husband, straight up and blunt. Don’t cut corners, don’t BS around, say EXACLTY how you feel. I understand that’s your husbands son, but that’s also your HUSBAND. If he truly cares about your feelings, he will listen and makes those changes. It is hard being with someone who has a kid by someone else, especially if the child played the parents against each other. Sooo many kids do that, I’ve lived that, and it SUCKS. But if your communication is something that is solid in your marriage, it can be an easy fix between you and your husband.
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I was in this situation (minus the stroke) 2 kids. One on the way and a stepson that just moved himself in on my sofa and I really feel your pain.
I spoke to my husband and he was so afraid he would go back to his mum he just told me I was being unreasonable and it wasn’t that bad.
It was.
Fast forward 2 years. I’ve left and live with my babies. He can now have all of his children and I don’t have the stress of him.
I hope it works out differently or you however your husband will really have to understand how it’s impacting you and put very clear boundaries in.
Maybe start small and tell him he cannot be on the sofa and that the garage is perfectly adequate. You don’t have to justify it to him. It’s your home. Good luck xx
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He doesn’t need to live there anyway. He needs his own space as a young adult and you need the run of your home. Give him 3 months to save and find his own place and transportation. Stick to the deadline.
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Hes a grown adult. If he can’t pull his weight and live by the agreed upon boundaries then he needs to kick rocks.
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Well it’s only going to get worse once baby arrives. He’s a grown up if he’s not paying rent he should be keeping up the house. Nobody rides for free in life.
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There needs to be some kind of boundaries set.
Think about if it was your biological kids, would you kick them out? I think he only drives you nuts because he isn’t yours and you don’t have that connection with him.
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He’s 21, and you’re about to have a baby, talk to your husband and explain how the situation is stressing you out and you need to focus on your pregnancy and his stroke recovery, then BOOT HIS ASS out the door. Cyaaa
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Straight up say its a lounge room, not his bedroom, was never agreed that he could sleep there. Say this is where my family and i sit together, im sorry but its non negotiable. And no cheek to me in my house thankyou, or youre out, im 5 months pregnant and this is causing me stress. See how he reacts, if hes a smartass
,tell him to get out. Its your house too, and youre mama bear, talking on behalf of your sick husband too
Your house your rules you have to speak to him about it
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Sit down and have a talk about boundaries in the home, if he doesn’t like it then he can get his own place and move out, don’t let him make you feel uncomfortable in your own home, time to put your foot down
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First he’s not a kid. He’s a grown man and needs to start acting like one. He needs to be back in the garage where he’s supposed be. He needs to start paying bills and learning to be a responsible adult. You are about to have a child and seriously need to get this under control now. Your husband is either with you or not. A stroke does not give him an excuse to allow his wife to have to deal with all this. He should be standing by your side. You pay the bills and run the house so put your foot down and start doing it. That’s your house and your things. This is not rocket science. Either stand your ground or no need to complain.
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21 is still pretty young. He’s still learning and he sounds like a typical 21 year old. Talk to your husband 1st and I would have him talk to him. It keeps you from.being the bad guy
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Have talk. Tell him it stops, he pays rent or he’s out. Simple.
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Hes taking advantage of you because yall never set out boundaries when he moved in. Tell him hes in the garage or gone. He does chores or hes gone. Give a 30 day notice for him to find a new place. Hes an adult, not a child.
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He needs to pay rent and save for a car. Tell him to get his ass back in the converted garage and help with chores. Period. Put your foot down.
What you allow will continue for the sake of your entire household sit everyone down and tell them your expectations
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Kick his ass to the curb
Time for stepson to move on, he is an adult now.
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Oh no tell him he has to go…dont give him any other option
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Kick his ass back into the garage, I definitely wouldn’t be letting him drive the car. Unfortunately I am dealing with the same crap from my 25 yr old. You give them a little help, they damn try take over everything & don’t give 2 shots on what problems they cause with their mouths. Because once they hit 18 they feel F$$$$N (entitled). I will keep you in my prayers as I know all so well what you are dealing with. I would set rules. If he can’t follow them ( he must go) I literally kicked my oldest out yesterday,. Please dont let him walk all over you, as soon as you allow it he will try to take over everything.
Tell him he stays in the garage. He has to pay bills. Your bills divided by 3. He needs to get his own car. This way of living isn’t acceptable
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A few years ago, my brother was homeless and coming off of hard core drugs. Well he did the whole detox thing and resting and I did the whole taking care of him thing. Well about a month after and him feeling good, I started asking him to do alil things around the house to keep him busy. Like take the trash out, small things. He never did it. I brushed it off, well one night I asked him if he would season the steaks so I can feed my newborn and he flat said No in a smartass attitude. I told him okay, and the next morning I dropped him off with my step dad. I put my foot down. And YOU SHOULD TO.
Sounds like you need to communicate and set some boundaries, he is a grown man and needs to respect your wishes.
He is 21…. Tell him to go home where he came from.
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Speak with your husband and be honest about your feelings, what you have noticed and the mental anguish it is causing you and your unborn child
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Awe honey, don’t feel guilt for standing your ground and telling him to leave. You have to think about your husband and children. He’s a man and will survive. Give him a specific date to move out. He has no respect!
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Toss him out! He’s not helping as originally planned and being more of a burden than anything it seems. Either have a talk and tell him to leave or make him go to the garage as was expected when he arrived.
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Id tell him to get off the couch and he has to stay in the converted garage. My living space is NOT your bedroom. I even get peeved when my husband sleeps in the living room. Also, either he helps with chores without me having to ask, or he can pay a cleaner 3x a week (rent) my parents made me start paying rent at 18 to prepare me for the real world, im glad they did.
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Sounds like the son just got a free place to live and is taking advantage of it. I’d sit him down with his dad too and have a serious talk with him
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ughh fuck no kick his big ass out
set your boundaries now!!! if he can`t abise by them boot him out
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I would just kick him out I think it’s pretty sorry your husband not to take your feelings and effect. He’s a grown man so he’s not a child anymore and shouldn’t need any help from his parents. I wouldn’t take it much longer it ain’t a good thing and it won’t get no better cuz y’all letting it happen put down some ground rules and if he breaks them out he goes
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KICK HIM OUT… if he doesn’t pay rent or help around home also take truck keys from him.
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He is causing hurt and disrupting your family life. He’s not helping. He’s hurting everyone. Tell him he has to live in the garage. He will move hopefully.
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Tell him it’s the garage apartment not the couch or he can’t stay …
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yes he is old enough to be on his own you dont need all his crept tell him garage or get out
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Boundaries. He can help, pay household bills and stay in the garage. But the common areas are not his space. Make demands. He can follow them or get out.
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Definitely talk to your husband, first and foremost.
Tell the son, our arrangement and conditions of you living here were made with the plans of you helping to watch and care for your father. Thankfully, that’s not needed. If you would like to continue to stay here, we are going to have to set some ground rules. 1) You need to move back to the garage. 2) You may use the pickup for X days/weeks JUST to go to work and back- but you need to be getting your own. 3) Since you aren’t helping take care of your father, we are going to need you to pitch in and pay rent and a portion of the utilities. I understand if you don’t like these terms, but your father and I are going through a lot and need things to be as stress free as possible.
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I would remind him of the agreement of why he is there. His behavior can’t be helping with his dad’s recovery and that should be the main focus right now.
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He’s an adult. He need his own space and yours space too. Kick him out!!
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Time to go. Dad is on the mend. Thanks for the help. We have a baby to prepare for. Bye…
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I’d set the boundary of the converted garage, and approach the conversation with a “what can we do to make you feel more comfortable in there, because you can’t sleep on the couch anymore” kind of thing.
Everything else, like being passive-aggressive, is a personality trait, so if he’s taking out the trash and doing the dishes, then drop it. Ask yourself if this was your own child using the things in a house you both lived in, would you be saying they have no respect for your space and things? because I get the feeling that a little piece of the puzzle in all this has to do with the fact that this is his child, so it’s easier for you to complain about minor things with him.
Put it foot down tell he goes to garage helps at the house only use truck for work if not bye Felicia
It comes to a point u have to do what’s best for ur house hold if not he is using y’all as a doormat free ride
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I would explain that like look, the arrangement was for you to come in and help. This is what is expected for you. This is where you will be staying as the living room is communal space. The tv is prioritized for the younger children and at night, me. If you’re driving the truck, please give me XX in car insurance.
It’s just clear cut communication. And explain what the consequences for not following through would be.
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Put your foot down sit down and TALK to him.
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At 21 he is not a kid. Tell him to go by the rules or go back to mama.
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I completely agree with most of the comments here. It is your home and your husband’s, the 21 year old on the couch needs to respect your home and your things. It will hurt but it’s called tough love. Sit down with him and be stern. Tell him he needs to do chores and pay rent and get off ur couch and back to the garage. He is not 9-18 anymore it is not y’alls responsibility to baby him anymore and as far as his attitude goes if your younger children start to act like that yall will suffer for a lot longer. Tell him it’s time to grow up and you appreciate his help with his father but as he is no longer helping in anyway you are not obligated to keep him there and cater to him. Good luck
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Your husband doesn’t need the stress, and neither do you. If the son is not helping, he doesn’t need to be there. Obviously he’s not helping. He’s adding stress to an already stressful situation.
I’d sit him down, and tell him the current situation is not working out, and he needs to find his own place … and while he’s looking for his own place, he’s welcome to stay in the converted garage, but he can no longer stay in the living room on the couch because it’s too disruptive to everyone else in the family. Explain to him that you realize he had good intentions by moving in to help with his dad, but it really has become more stressful for you both to have him stay with you. I would also explain that your husband’s truck is only available for work transit … and only until he moves out, so he really needs to be looking for a vehicle of his own.
Is there a possibility that he can fly back to wherever he flew in from? He might consider moving back to where he came from, if you consider helping him financially to go back. It might be worth it to offer to buy him a ticket “home”.
Id talk to your husband calmly
About the key factors that bother you and have your husband discuss those being changed with his son
Tell him if he can’t respect you and your home he needs to go and no sleeping b on the couch he’s an adult and should be on his own anyway
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Why is there no bedroom for him? When you bought the house wasn’t he considered? He should have always had a bedroom. 21 is an adult yes but he wants to be near his dad. Seems like this kid was never treated as part of your family and that’s on both of you. Give him a proper bedroom with a tv. Problem solved.
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Put him out!!! Seriously, he would not be in my house acting that way. He needs to get his own place!!!
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Tell him how it’s gonna be, where he needs to stay and what he has to do. If he doesn’t like it he can leave.
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Sounds like the KID needs to put his big boy pants on or there’s the door.
Sit him down and set rules including chores and her needs to have a job and pay rent or timeline runs out he is gone
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He is your husband kid. Who thought it was a good idea to abandoned your kids once they turn 18 but then support a women or man. Your kids will forever be your kid.
I know you’re husband just had a stroke but I think you need too calmly sit & talk with him.
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You need to sit down and ha e the most serious conversation with your stepson. Look him directly in the eyes and explain it out with confidence and little emotion. Tell him this situation is not going to be working anymore. You were under the impression that him living there would lift the burden a bit off of you, meaning he would be helping around the house and with his dad. He is an adult. Stop calling him a kid though. Even though he is your guys son(stepson). If he doesn’t see that his behavior is completely wrong for the situation especially then he really needs to realize it quick. And that doesn’t mean a free ride from you guys so he can continue being a man child…
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Don’t lose control of your house, I did this a few years ago and just stepped back and let her do what she wanted. Then heard from her relatives how I must really hate that she he was moving out because she did everything for me. That was her perspective that she had shared. I still loved her but I was very happy to have my home back. She forgot one thing, to ask how I wanted it done or if I wanted it changed to begin with. Most of what she did I didn’t want done. For health reasons I’m still struggling to get it back to a point that I can manage. My mistake was not stopping the overstepping as it happened.
His ass is 21 and old enough to be on his own. I bought my first home at 22. Yes we lived at home with in laws but I was also respectful of them. This is BS.
Tell him BACK TO THE CONVERTED GARAGE or LEAVE!
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Sounds like you’re over reacting because of the stress of everything and the pregnancy. Think of it from his perspective because right now you’re just focused on yourself and how you feel but have not taken into account his own feelings. You said he helped the whole time in the hospital, that he uprooted his life to be closer to his dad and initially thought the converted garage would work. I’m sure it was way too hot or humid, ask if there’s something you guys can do to make it more comfortable for him- maybe it needs an ac or a tv?? Because sleeping on a couch will make anyone grouchy. Growing up where was he sleeping- did he not have a room? Can a room not be given to him?? Also, you said he lived with you guys since he was 9, not sure why he’s not referred to as your step-son. Sounds like you’ve never treated him as part of your family and there may be resentment from his end.
The amount of hate on this post. She’s not saying she wants to abandon him, but he’s an adult. This is her house. She had a say in the house, she is the one paying all of the bills, while he contributes nothing. That’s a BUM. He thinks just bc it’s his parents house he can do & say whatever, not have any consequences in his actions. That’s not okay, if you don’t correct the problem then you’re enabling his behavior. He’s not out on his ass, he had a place that was offered to him & he didn’t like it, then he can find a place that fits his needs. Her couch isn’t it. That’s her living space & shouldn’t be confined to her own room in HER HOUSE. No ma’am, give him that ultimatum. Stand strong momma!!
That’s you home set the rules as the same if he lived there as a child. If can’t respect them call him mother and be like you need to help and tell him hes out I wouldnt give a limit also if he stays request a work schedule sheet and give him the keys he also must check in if working over or else you can call on a stolen vehicle
He needs to be out before the baby comes period
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Time to say good-bye thank you for helping us when we needed it. Or move into garage, here your chores list, and use other transportation insurance doesn’t cover him. Cost is to much for you to add him at this point.
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Kick his ass out. Bloody freeloader.
That house does not belong to little Mr stepson. Tell him he has options. He can go to the room that is for him or he can leave. He can change his attitude or he can leave. Tell him it’s not up for debate. If he wants to continue living there, he will follow whatever rules you have in place. As far as bills go, he would pay something. That wouldn’t be an option for him either. Period. He is using his dad to take advantage.
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He has rules to follow or he can leave. But he has tenants rights so you’ll prob have to evict him if he doesn’t leave. Buy food for y’all only, no doing his laundry, he can’t take the truck after a timeframe for him to find his own vehicle, he needs to help pay the rising bills, etc. and he doesn’t sleep on the couch in the living space. He can get himself back into the converted garage or leave.
Baseball bat is a good attitude adjuster…
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No one can make that decision but you. I always told my children, if you’re very unhappy where you are, change it. Hesitation in this instance doesn’t help.
You are in a bad situation. I am afraid I would have already exploded. Your husband can’t help his own situation, and it is your duty to do for him. Somehow, you
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kike his lazy ass out let him go home to mama
entitled they have to grow up. As a parent you have to make sure they can handle life if you die
You have quite the situation! When he said he wanted to move in to help, that was the time that you should have set him down and written a list of what you expected him to do, including staying in the converted garage. It’s always good to get an understanding up front. It may be too late now……
Thank you for your help it was greatly appreciated but we are ok now
I have a new baby on the way & we need our space back. We love you and you’re welcome to visit anytime.
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My god I would of kicked him out. I dont take crap from kids
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I would take that bull by the horns. Set him down explain his moving in was to help with his dad and his living arrangements was to live in the converted garage. Also ask him what needs to be in the converted rooms to make it better. Explain his sleeping on the couch is not visible. Do you have another vehicle if so then there should not be a problem with him driving the truck. With the stress of hubby having a stroke an extra person in the house your hormones all over due to pregnancy makes you more emotional. So set him down and work it out.
Talk to your husband. Explain that the arrangement is not working for you. This “kid” has to go now. They are taking advantage of you.
First of all, bless your heart!!!
Second, set some boundaries or “don’t let the door hit cha in the ass on your way out 
”
Hes an adult. Not a child. Tell him he can follow your rules or go. Simple.
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Just give it a time line. Tell him with the stress your under and a new baby you just feel its time. Tell him you really appreciate his help and give itba time line for sure. Good luck.
Boundaries. Tell him you appreciate his offer of help. Now that things are moving right along- you really need your space back for the baby. Since he is working he can either pay you rent to live in the converted garage or go pay rent somewhere else 
Tell him to get the hell out
Or call the police on him
Please put him out now.
He is doing it because he can It will only get worse. Bye,Bye!
One… yes he’s is your kids… but he is an adult and needs to be treated as such…
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Tell him the arrangement was for him to stay in the converted garage if that isn’t good enough for him he can find his own damn place to live. Furthermore if he’s going to stay at your place rent free and eat food in your house then he can help with chores or he again can move out and get his own place. It’s your house he’s 21 put your f****** foot down. Don’t worry about your husband he doesn’t need to be involved the boy isn’t a child anymore. Have a conversation with your stepson like he is an adult. The worst thing that can happen is he can go tell Daddy that step mommy was mean to him. Then you can tell your husband. No I was not mean I told him he was welcome to stay but I wasn’t putting up with his disrespectful attitude if he was going to be living under my roof rent free. He would stay in the converted garage as was originally agreed upon and he will help with the house chores without giving me any lip
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