Well, recently, when we’re intimate, he can’t keep it up. This was never ever a problem before. I know he’s not cheating and he claims he loves me no matter what I look like. He’s honestly a really great guy. But I feel like my weight is turning him off.
I have pretty bad body image issues as it is and this is just depressing me even more and causing problems for us. I’ve started doing yoga and I eat pretty healthy; I just don’t have the time to go to a gym right now.
I’m honestly not sure what to do at this point because when we try to be intimate and it doesn’t work, we just lay there and it’s awkward and uncomfortable and it’s ruining everything.
I've been with my boyfriend about 4 months. When I met him, I'd gone through a bad breakup and had lost a lot of weight so I was super skinny. After I met him, I was happy and eating more. I've gained about 15 pounds and it's all in my belly.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my weight is turning him off - Mamas Uncut
Than he ain’t the one for you!!!
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Don’t think to much into it… sometimes men have problems in that area! My ex husband couldn’t keep it up more then 10 seconds and I had a six pack of abs and toned all over! It’s not about you…
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He could just be in his head about something else. Try talking to him about it. But if u do want to work in your weight for yourself you should look into intermittent fasting. Its amazing and works fast. Its a lifestyle though not just a quick diet. But its a game changer!
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If you workout, do it to make you happy. If you do it to keep your bf happy. You won’t truly be happy……
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You’re lieing to yourself, making yourself believe you’re not good enough. Men have that issue quite commonly. It’s not you. 
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No I think it’s his issue… men go through stuff too. But, ask him… I don’t think it’s you if he thinks that he’s shallow. Geez I’ve gained a lot while being married my husband isn’t turned off.
I wouldn’t read that far into it. It might be awkward for him to talk about and depending on his age… things stop working the right way all the time. Cut yourself (and him) some slack 
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Try online excercise
My husband is the same. It’s not you. If he can get started at all he’s attracted. Don’t worry. He needs to talk to his Dr. It could be hormones ,high blood pressure, stress. Maybe he’s afraid he won’t please you. Sometimes they think too much about it. If he can’t explain it, ask him to talk to a Dr. This is a medical problem. Not you.
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15lb is not that much weight to gain. If you find that it is the reason, I would leave him. What happens when you have children? Women tend to gain weight after having children. He will give you major self esteem issues.
I am hoping it is something else. You need to have a talk with him.
Has he had any majorly life changes? Change in work schedule or amount of work? Is he just tired? Have you tried to get intimate in the morning after a good sleep?
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That’s a him issue not a you issue. He sounds distracted. Men have to be relaxed and not stressing about things…could be anything. But if it were you he wouldn’t be trying at all.
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It’s not you, men can have problems in that area for many reasons I’ve heard of one having issues with that if he’s in a certain position due to a damaged nerve in his back for some it can be their own mental state I know of one who has that problem when he’s in a depression state and feeling down about himself he doesn’t last long at all but when he’s feeling good about himself he can’t last forever so don’t take it personal tends to be a mistake we make and it can cause a lot of questions to run through our heads especially if have ever been in a crappy relationship.
This is an issue with HIS body (Erectile Dysfunction) not any issue with YOURS. He needs to speak to a Dr, but most 
refuse to.
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Sometimes it takes time getting used too some extra weight… I was very skinny when I met my boyfriend… then we had kids and I was skinny ish after I had them. Now I’ve had a hysterectomy and all my teeth extracted + dentures (and I haven’t worn my teeth in a long while)… After 8 years this MAN STILL LOVES ME 
!!! We may not be married but he is still my Lover!
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Definitely not your issue hun. I know people who’s weight has gone up, and their partners adore them regardless.
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Ask him about seeing a Dr.
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It could really be not about you. It could be a problem of his. He should have a check up to find out the reason behind it. Please dont lose confidence.
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Sounds like you could lose some weight pretty easily - dump him 
There are men who would kiss every simple and roll and never get enough. Don’t let some limp dick make you feel bad. Life is too short and I bet you’d find someone ten times the man he is quite easily.
I bet your beautiful!! And if you decide to go to the gym do it for you!! 15 ibs is nothing!
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Ask him to get his testosterone checked.
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If he can’t keep it up, it’s him issue. Does he smoke a lot of pot or anything?
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If you think 15 lbs would turn him off imagine getting pregnant with his child. You need to ask him honesty is the best policy.
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Just ask him n tell him you rather have him tell you the truth if your body weight is turning him off or not
Have you asked him what he thinks is the cause? Could be performance anxiety on his part. Doesn’t sound like he’s aid anything about your weight.
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I am thick and have a stomach because i had a kid. I HATE IT. I feel so unattractive. But my husband doesn’t care because he loves me and can get past my physical gross.
If he can’t get past the physical (without a medical reason, mind) he doesn’t deserve you.
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It’s him not you and don’t act akward with him.
If that were the case, leave because honey that’s a him issue. Ive been married for 13 years, yo-yo’d my weight up about 30 lbs since having kids, and my husband can’t get enough. Find someone who loves you in all your sizes and shapes.
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iv gained 30 pounds since I met my hubby almost 6 years added 3 more kids ( total of 6 for me he raises as his own ) he’s never said anything or had issues like that and I mean 15lbs isn’t a lot honestly. I hate my body so bad… he’s always sayying nice things and always encouraging me to wear clothes I would never ( I always size up 2-3 sizes… for sure talk to him, it could be something else!
His issue might be from you projecting your insecurities of yourself onto him as well. If you are acting different he may feel he’s not doing right by you too and that is a major mental block when it comes to pleasure. If you both go in relaxed and ready or hot and heavy then it doesn’t work it’s more than likely a medical issue.
Be confident going in and not trying to make what’s happened in the past an issue and things may start to change.
Exchange of energy is Everything!
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If he can’t accept you for who you are, he is not the right one for you.
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I’m about 100 lbs heavier than when I met my husband. It’s never stopped him. I’ve had MY insecurities but he always puts them to rest. If he genuinely loves you, he will love you regardless of your body. Maybe he has something else going on.
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Instead of letting it be awkward, have some more foreplay. Give him some attention with your hands or mouth. Then hop on top. Sometimes a change in position helps. Don’t make him self conscious about it. It happens. If he keeps having issues, he may need to seek medical attention, hormones, blood pressure, and depression can cause issues.
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Talk. More pressure isn’t going to help him and I’m saying from experience that’s what happens when you don’t just discuss the elephant in the room. He overthinks, so do you and you are both very likely way off about what one another is actually thinking and feeling🤷♀️ It could be so so many things and I very much doubt your weight is one of them, especially just 15 lbs love. And a good guy isn’t going to be phased by weight anyway so either you’re right and he’s not the good guy you think he is or you’re wrong and still ya’ll just need to have some discussions and be open with one another
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I think you 2 should sit down and have an open honest heart to heart talk about it. You will never know how each other really feels, or find out what the problem is and how to fix it until you do. Communication is 
.
Has he changed medication? You need to ask him. There’s a million other things it could be, and 15# I’m sure isn’t one of them.
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If he’s that affected by 15 lbs then he doesn’t sound like much of a keeper to me 
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Does he drink? Alcohol can effect this as well
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Is there ANYTHING else it can be? From his body to environmental factors? Maybe he’s more stressed than usual? More sad? Got a lot on his mind?
Its not you, its him.
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It could all be in his head now. As women, our reaction alone can impact them. It’s not you… but the pressure now could be the problem. (If alcohol is involved, that can also have a great impact…)
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He is probably thinking to himself that the last few times he isn’t performing and it’s stressing him out making it more probable to happen again, guys are weird like that we tend to think we arnt satisfying our women and then don’t feel much like a “man”. It wouldn’t have anything to do with your weight if anything it’s probably better most guys little a little to hold on to 
just talk about it
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Well you’re doing a lot of assuming instead of being honest and just ask him and get it over with. Only you will get the answer when you ask him. You’re just afraid of the answer before you even know the answer and projecting what the answer will be before he even gets a chance to say why .Maybe he won’t even admit what’s going on but it’s not going to do you no good to keep going on with him if you can’t be honest enough with him so why even be in a relationship if you have no communication with each other. It’s not healthy to be depressed more or have anxiety when you’re not even asking the person you need the answer from.
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Guys lose their virility that’s life.Its not necessarily you.Talk to doctor with him.
Talk to him & express your concerns. He may be feeling the negative energy (you feeling bad or down about your body) & without realizing it he may be picking up on it & believe it or not that can make it hard for him to stay excited if he doesn’t know what’s going on to cause that negative energy.
How old is he? My bf is in his 40s and he has that issue sometimes. When that happens we don’t make a big deal out of it we just do more foreplay and get things going again. I’m on the bigger side and I find myself very unattractive but he don’t mind how big I am. If he’s not attracted to you over you gaining 15lbs then maybe he’s not the one for you.
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This happened to me. Turns out my bf at the time had stroke level blood pressure. He needs to go to the dr! It’s not you, hun
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If he really cares for you that wont effect him at all ive been up to 310 pounds and also down in the 100’s it never changed the fact my husband thinks im beautiful maybe hes stressed and just hasnt told you try talking to be 100% sure what it is
Maybe he can sense you are feeling insecure and he’s feeling extra pressured to make up for that? I really don’t think 15 lbs would change anything that way for you…maybe 50 or more pounds would but not 15.
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You’ve been together 4 mths, he may have an underlying condition even he doesn’t know about that could be causing the issue… talk to him…
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15lbs is honestly not that much weight. I can fluctuate 10lbs in 24 hours easily. I don’t think I would jump to conclusions like that, and assume it’s due to weight.
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If you don’t appreciate yourself why should he?
He isn’t responsible for your body image… Honey, you have to do the work.
That said, I don’t think it’s you. He may need to see a Dr.
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It could be stress. It could be diet. It could be a lot of things. Because men are dumb and our bodies arent as sensitive we dont notice as much but men have hormones and stuff, too. Psychology plays into a lot of the male anatomy. Talk to your guy. Also, make sure porn isnt involved. Too much will result in ED. But ultimately dont jump to you being the problem. Give yourself some credit. Im sure you are beautiful and if he says he loves your body take him at his word unless he gives you other reason to think otherwise
Maybe with the holidays stress is getting to him. Been with my husband over 30 years have 3 kids have weighed any where from 100 to almost 200 hundred. Never been a problem but if he is stressed or worried it affects him. Talk to him may be all it is. Especially no longer then have been together may not know each other well yet. When mine is having problems I ask what’s bothering you?
Id just like to add that my wife and I have been together 10 years, married 1 year (today 
) and 2 kids. She was a double 0 when we met. She is a 6-8 now. She thinks she is huge. I think she is sexier than when we got together. She is so pleasing to my eyes, not that she wasnt before, but now she is my partner and we have aged a little together. The things that bother her I have seen as she mothered my children, so to me that makes her all the sexier and more beautiful. If he cares for you like I care for my wife, 15, 20, 300 lbs wouldnt matter like you are suggesting
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He said it doesn’t matter your over thinking it. He might be dealing with medical problem
He could be doing coke🤧
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A lot of stress can do it to men and helps with them not being able to perform, so maybe something is bothering him just talk to him about it and ask him. Men are very uptight and don’t like to talk about their emotions and show them, but sometimes it does help to talk to them and at least try. Good luck girl!!
Its not you. Its him. You’re beating you’re beating yourself up for no reason.
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Have you tried asking him about it?
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I’m going up be honest with you. This isn’t your fault. And if he gained weight you truly wouldn’t care. I absolutely believe he loves you and would go the extra mile for you. I also believe you might be correct. Aside from stress,him having issues due to age or medication the only other factor that’s changed is you. And YES you can absolutely be in love with someone and even attracted to them and that part of male anatomy can still act up like this. It makes us feel terrible. So much so that you might have a snowballs chance in hell he’d length with you about. He’s worried and upset too. And he loves you. You can overcome this but you both need more help than you can get having uncomfortable conversations with each other. This was a great first step. Now locate a counselor!
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Has he started any new medication? Some medications, including antidepressants, can cause this.
I seriously doubt 15 pounds would make you change so drastically that he can’t get it up without another underlying issue of SOME sort.
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Pre-work out supplements are a good motivator but stay confident and love yourself always
Start keto my dear… U will lose weight … avoid carbs as much as possible… Good luck
If you decide to lose weight or not should be for you, not to get his jungle drums beatin again, but you are 100% in charge about how you feel about yourself, dont let his issues bring you down on you
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Has he has any recent life changes or new medication? It sounds like it’s more about him personally. I feel like it has nothing to do with your weight.
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You don’t need a gym to lose weight change your eating habit. Portion yourself. You’ll be alright.
Its winter probably just has some frost bite downstairs.no man functions properly when its cold.you need some self esteem.start by googling sighns and symptoms of erectile disfunction.once youve ruled out your weight gain as a cause have him see a dr.then make an apointment with yours to discuss a possible eating disorder.
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It may not have anything to do with you at all. He could have something medically wrong with him. For instance, does he have any back problems? Any recent injuries that he barely remembers? Have him see a doctor and discuss this issue.It may be something very simple. you need to know. Stop automatically assuming it is your fault. I say it’s not your fault at all. See a doctor!!
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15 pounds is literally nothing. If he has issues with that insignificant amount of weight he isnt worth keeping around
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Maybe he’s doing drugs. A lot of drugs will break that specific body part.
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Stop telling her it’s her fault. It’s him. 15 pounds is not going to repulse anyone.
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It honestly has nothing to do with you or your weight. Don’t get frustrated. It honestly is very common and it happens a lot more than people like to admit.
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Okay, so asking my other half… He said it could be a number of things. Alcohol, medicines, anxiety, depression, medical issues unknown about, stress, blood pressure, and self-confidence issues can all be a reason. It’s time you both have a heart to heart talk. He needs to help you understand what is going on so you don’t blame yourself, which it sounds like you are.
My hubby said, too, which usually isn’t the case for all men… Compatibility could be a big factor, too. Communicate with him your feelings, too. If he’s not comfortable working through this with you, tell him he needs to see a doctor. Also: I don’t think it’s truly the case here since you’re trying several times… If he’s not into you, telling you he’s not into you would be better in the long run for both of your sakes… most guys won’t lead you on like that, though.
Maybe, too, it could be that he’s lacking something from you sexually that he’s too shy to ask for. Maybe he needs more foreplay. Maybe he wants to know you find him sexy and able to satisfy you, but gats nervous and starts overthinking.
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15 pounds really isn’t much. I say if you want to lose for yourself great if not great too. But not going to lie if I lost it and everything went back to normal I’d be serious pissed with him because that would mean he was a shallow ahole and you can do better. You DESERVE better!! Good luck love
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If you want to lose the weight, lose it. But if you’re comfortable with your extra pounds then don’t be with someone who makes you feel bad about it
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Probably has NOTHING to do with you, most men will tell you, regardless of who, they never want it not to work!! Does he say he never had this problem before? If so, he probably lying!!
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You do t have to have sex to be intimate
Don’t have to have sex to be intimate
please do not blame yourself as we get older that changes some for a man but instead of guessing plese go see your doctor if he will not go which alot of men do not want to talk about it you guy see what the doc can help blessing to you both
I don’t think it’s you and I don’t believe you should stress. Work on self love and don’t go changing yourself for someone else if you want to do it for yourself and health sure. But you’re beautiful regardless x
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Could be low testosterone. Most likely has nothing to do with you.15 lbs is not much at all. Your over thinking it
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Mental health cam effect mrn this way, my man got like this before his mental health diagnosis, go communicate with him, also some medications can effect it
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That could be caused from. Multitude of things girl. And it’s not your weight! It can be from medications, stress, medical problems, depression and depression medications are a big reason. Maybe he should speak to his dr
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Meds, alcohol, smoking.
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It happens girl! He could just could simply be tired from work. Or stressed and things like that.
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You’re speculating. TALK TO HIM. You don’t know what’s going on with him. He maybe embarrassed to even say.
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One of my exs couldn’t perform if he was stressed. He had anxiety and he partied a little on a pill here and there which also affected him in bedroom.
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If he doesn’t love you unconditionally then he doesn’t love you at all
Best you both sit down and discuss the issue, maybe talking about it might help him
Communication is key
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Try talkin to him 1st, communicate maybe there is a diff problem that you arent aware of, as women i think alot of us pick at ourselves worse than men pick at us. If you WANT to lose cutting out sweets/sweet drinks is very effective way. I lost without a gym/workout as a single mom i didnt have time to workout either. I lost weight for MYSELF tho you do what YOU need to do for YOUR HAPPINESS/LIFE. None of us will ever be perfect being happy with urself is everything
You do you! He needs to see a doc! Then make a decision. Unless he chooses not to see the doc.Then move forward.You got this!
I don’t mean to sound like an ass but, 4 months of history isn’t really long enough to know that it’s never been a problem before. There could be all kinds of things going on making it difficult to keep an erection. Stress. Low testosterone. Blood pressure issues. Depression. Drug use. Worry. Medications. Maybe he’s too tired. Fifteen pounds is NOT a lot of weight AT ALL. Plus most men (I say men not boys) couldn’t care less about your weight. Embrace that extra jelly. It’s sexy, trust me. This is coming from a 200+ pound woman with low confidence bc of it. Mine loves every inch and I’m sure yours does, also.
It could be a problem with him…
You can’t blame yourself for that
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This isn’t a you problem , this is a him problem
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You’re making assumptions, just talk to him.
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Why don’t you just ask him? It might not have anything to do with you.
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