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QUESTION:
"I've been with my boyfriend about 4 months. When I met him, I'd gone through a bad breakup and had lost a lot of weight so I was super skinny. After I met him, I was happy and eating more. I've gained about 15 pounds and it's all in my belly. Well, recently, when we’re intimate, he can’t keep it up. This was never ever a problem before. I know he’s not cheating and he claims he loves me no matter what I look like. He’s honestly a really great guy. But I feel like my weight is turning him off. I have pretty bad body image issues as it is and this is just depressing me even more and causing problems for us. I’ve started doing yoga and I eat pretty healthy; I just don’t have the time to go to a gym right now. I’m honestly not sure what to do at this point because when we try to be intimate and it doesn’t work, we just lay there and it’s awkward and uncomfortable and it’s ruining everything."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Don’t think too much into it… sometimes men have problems in that area! My ex-husband couldn’t keep it up more than 10 seconds and I had a six-pack of abs and toned all over! It’s not about you…"
"He could just be in his head about something else. Try talking to him about it."
"If you work out, do it to make you happy."
"I wouldn’t read that far into it. It might be awkward for him to talk about and depending on his age… things stop working the right way all the time. Cut yourself (and him) some slack"
"My husband is the same. It’s not you. If he can get started at all he’s attracted. Don’t worry. He needs to talk to his Dr. It could be hormones, high blood pressure, stress. Maybe he’s afraid he won’t please you. Sometimes they think too much about it. If he can’t explain it, ask him to talk to a Dr. This is a medical problem. Not you."
"That’s a him issue not a you issue. He sounds distracted. Men have to be relaxed and not stressing about things…could be anything. But if it were you he wouldn’t be trying at all."
"It could really be not about you. It could be a problem of his. He should have a check-up to find out the reason behind it. Please don't lose confidence."
"If he can’t keep it up, it’s his issue. Does he smoke a lot of pot or anything?"
"Just ask him n tell him you rather have him tell you the truth if your body weight is turning him off or not"
"Have you asked him what he thinks is the cause? Could be performance anxiety on his part. Doesn’t sound like he’s said anything about your weight."
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