Future plans - leave him. He ain’t the one sis
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I think a year is too short of a time frame to talk about all of them things, have fun and get to know each other abit more before getting into all the serious things.
get rid of him, honey.
You are not on the same page. Move on.
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My opinion is that it’s way to soon to be going down that road. A year isn’t long enough to fully know someone. Sorry to say but if you keep bringing it up when he has told you he’s not ready your going to push him away. And he’s going to walk away. It takes most men longer to know when and if they are ready to settle down . If it’s meant to be it will happen. It will never work if you or anyone else forces him to do something he’s not ready to do. Do you really want to be with someone that’s not their because it was his choice? If so your heading for heartache. Let it ride and enjoy what you have with him . Good luck!
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Why would you want someone to live with you if they are not in the same head space as you?
I would stop asking cause a year is not even long enough. Do you and what u can do to better yourself
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Girl leave. He heard you every time you asked the question and he doesn’t feel put on the spot when his family asks. He just knows he can’t give them a vs answer because they know him too well. He’s gonna ride this relationship out as long as he can. He’s getting all the benefits with minimal commitment. Why would he want that to change?
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Run girl, I’ve been stuck for 8 years I’ll never get back. He moved in and ruined my life my kids lives. Never has made any sort of attempt at a future. But he does split bills (cause he’s cheap) your guy had plenty of chances to show you how he feels…you are a booty call that’s all…dump him
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Tell him to F off! Sounds like an unmotivated child
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A year is really not that long though.
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He doesn’t want that kind of commitment with you. Take it, or leave it.
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They say if you wait 4 yrs to get married its likely to last. It technically takes 4 yrs to completely get to know someone all around inside and out. 🤷 cant remember where i read that but i liked it
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Maybe sit down with him and ask him why he’s not ready. Maybe something happened in a previous relationship that he doesn’t want to happen again. Don’t be pushy cuz then you will probably just drive him away. I was with my bf for 8 years before he finally proposed to me last December. Love takes time and patience
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DROP THE TOPIC. It’s only been a year, you need to chill out.
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He’s wasting your time. When a guy is invested he’ll have the conversation, stop letting him duck the hard questions and get the answers you need to decide what’s best for you. Boyz are masters at wasting your time and stringing you along, time to find yourself a man
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I had a conversation with my husband at one year. I told him I wanted to get married and have kids in a timely fashion. Not right that moment, but that’s where I’m heading. If he didn’t see that in our future then we both move on, no hard feelings. If he hadn’t been willing to have the conversation then it’s a move on point.
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Me and my boyfriend moved in together 3 months into the relationship. We’ve been together almost two years now. It doesn’t take years and years for men to figure out what they want.
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Ahhhh you need to chill… you only been dating him for a year, if he is hesitant already ,stop asking him , even when you are trying to not be pushy you are pushy…he will ask you to move in or will talk to you about marriage when he is ready, he already told you he sees you in his future so be happy with that.
If he feels pressured he might never even ask you , atleast I don’t like when people push me if I’m not ready… again a year of dating is nothing and you don’t know him enough… staying over is nothing compared to living with that person, living together is always very different.
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Just give it time. It’s only been a year. That isn’t to soon for you to start talking about a future but maybe it is for him.
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Let him know that those things are important to you. And if he’s not sure he can meet you on those things, he needs to quit wasting your time. Your Person will want to answer your questions and concerns and make moves WITH You. Sorry 
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I’m baffled by all of these women on this thread telling her she needs to chill out.
You have to live with someone before any serious life events. Marriage, children, etc.
On top of that, he’s already spending the night at her house multiple nights a week. There’s no reason his grown ass can’t throw her some $$ for rent or at least discuss living together at that point. She’s not unreasonable here.
He’s not ready to live with you because it’s a huge step and it’d barely been a year. You don’t want to jump into it but want to start a family in a few years, that’s kinda jumping into it. If he’s not even ready to talk about the idea then HES NOT READY FOR THAT. You need to understand that things don’t move at the pace we want and trying to push the issue will only push him away.
I think it’s fair to wait a bit, only have been dating for a year. It’s better to wait and ensure you guys are a good fit, then to rush into a marriage and family and have it end in divorce. Just my two cents.
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Yep sounds like a free loader…
Sorry to be harsh…
You so deserve better…
Your never going to be happy with someone like that…
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He gave you an answer by not answering. He’s taking advantage of having a babysitter
Dump him
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You’re wasting your time . Even if you or him didn’t want that now , there is no harm in talking about it . How do you know you’re with the right person if you can’t talk about what you’d like your future to be and see if you’re on the same page ? Someone that values you will not have a problem having those conversations with you .
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Had my own place at 24 after my first divorce. Met another Asshole. Lost everything. Dont give this guy the time of Day
Kock his but to the curb .He’s using you as a bootie call . O future there
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A year is not a super long time
Don’t waste your time with him
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Don’t settle for less than what you desire… if your ready for a family and he isn’t then maybe he isn’t the one… tell him again your plans and if he isn’t on the same page then consider moving on… time flies by fast 
so if you keep waiting for him to be ready it may never happen.
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I have been with my fiancee for 2.5 years and he was slow moving for me as I had a marriage of 18 years that I got out of and yes I was afraid of the word future but I needed it, i needed to know my searching wasnt for nothing. My man wouldn’t even officially call me his girlfriend until after a month of commitment and his family all meeting me and giving there approval and yes he was over 30 at this time. That part bugged me alot (like dude just calling me your girlfriend isnt anything, why was he so afraid) then 3 months went by and he couldn’t support himself and his children so he moved in with me. But let’s face it he was practically forced as i owned my own home and supported myself well and his water and power were being shut off with 4 kids. Then 6 months after that my house burned down sooo again we were forced to move into a home that didnt belong to either of us. Again was stressful and i wasnt ready and i was in shock and he was all about doing him and I made more and he didnt want to help with his half he figured he would buy the food and pay one small bill and got to keep the rest of what he had and I needed to pay everything else. So I told him straight, u need me and I dont need you so button up, grow up and start acting like a adult and a man. Because I would easily leave him as I found him. I struggled alot to get him to say things like us or couple or anything even remotely close to feeling like a couple. Like he wouldn’t even tell me how much he made, he would claim he didnt know or wasnt sure. I pushed for some more togetherness from him like LET ME IN! Stop keeping me at arms length PERIOD! So we had several arguments because I wanted more well more like I needed more. Then he started to come around but I basically gave him an ultimatum. Told him if he wanted to be with me long term he had to start to make me feel like he really wanted it because I was looking for my forever. And I didnt want to stay with someone because I had more money and I was a great free sitter for his kids. I felt used basically and I told him so. He slowly let me in and proved he loved me. And all this time he wouldn’t talk about marriage or getting our own home together he wouldn’t tell me his credit score or any personal personal details. Then one day on his way to work he texted me and it said we need to talk when I get home. Ok so my thoughts were he made a decision and wanted me out. Cause I just felt off about the whole thing. Like why would a man say we need to talk in a text. So I packed my stuff even though we were doing amazing at the time and just thought he was done and ready to go separate ways. When he got off work he called me and I had been very upset and he read my return reply and called me right away and felt awful because his phone mis text me the verbal speech , he said he loved me and was almost to work and he couldn’t wait to get home. But the phone heard and text I love you and we cant work we will talk when I get home. So I was shocked and he apologized up and down and swore he would check his text to me for now on. When he walked in the door in was in our room packing and he came in crying, knelt beside me, hugged me and told me how sorry he was and that he never ever wanted to loose me and he proposed to me with ring in hand. So i went from not knowing how he felt to loving him immensely to devastation to him proposing. And now were getting married on Halloween. He was so unsure in the beginning and so (his way) and so (keep to himself) and (dont let anyone in) and in my opinion still trying to figure out life from a raw deal in the past that he had alot to learn and he needed to get use to having someone really care for him and his kids and he had no idea how to really love and not be taken advantage of that he was scared. Also after he proposed the flood gates opened and he even refers to me as his wife now and were not yet married. He did a full 180 and I’m so much happier now. So I say give it time and dont rush it. But you should say something like well I’m not going to wait 3 years for you to make up your mind. Just as a little incentive. And if by the end of whatever time frame you give him, if nothing has changed then dont hesitate and leave. Set a time for you and stuck to it. Best of luck
His mind is already made up but no need to shoot himself in the foot . He’s not going to buy the cow when he is getting the milk for free . Sorry for the truth .
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Tell him that if you are still together at the 3 year mark you want a wedding and a plan for children. Ask him if he can agree to that marker. If he cannot, girl, run.
Youll probably thank yourself if you sit back and just wait. Its takes longer than a year for a persons true colors to start showing.
Is he leaving his options open. Like he doesn’t want to rush or settle down to fast because he’s leaving himself available. Setting goals together is team work. I feel he can’t fulfill your dreams. But you can stop dating him and manifest on someone who is your ideal partner. Sending Love hope and blessings 
First of all if you want multiple kids before 30 or to start the process before 30 you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him about y’all’s relationship and future. If he’s not on the same page than you should probably find someone who is! Also it may take a little time to get pregnant and whatnot so it is something you wanna start talking about now rather than later. Tbh doesn’t sound like he knows what he wants or is very serious about y’all’s relationship.
Well, he is definitely not ready. And, you are too ready. From that respect alone, the 2 of you are not a for-ever couple. 27 is not an old spinster, maybe you need to go to counseling to find out who you are and check your skillset in case this is not “the” one4you. Babies do not make a lot of sense right now in this equation. Re-think what you should do to be fulfilled in your life, in your job, in your location. Fix you and things will look differently.
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skip him. he is stalling til something else better can be found
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Run. Your wasting your time. He’s not that into you…
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First off, does he have a job? You have your crap together, if he doesn’t at that age, that’s a red flag. He is already okay with staying at your house, he needs his own. I get him not being ready to move in yet and all that, it’s okay if he isn’t ready. But not even wanting to discuss the future could be another red flag. If you truly love him then give it some time, let the topic go for a little bit, then try again. If he still isn’t open to it there is your answer. He for sure needs to have his crap together before y’all should live together, otherwise you will end up doing it alone and that’s so not fair to you. Don’t wait forever though, know your worth, and don’t settle, you will end up regretting it in the long run. Good luck, I hope things work out for you
RUN 
RUN RUN as fast as you can….and not just to the liquor 
store!
Keep running !
You deserve so much better, never settle!
Byyyeeeeeeee
Dip.
Find you one who dreams of Building a life with you. I never have understood why people will date somebody that they can’t picture themselves building a future with
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Kick him to the curb!!
Don’t waste your time with him!!
Why should he you allow him to stay at your place and not pay for anything and he gets what he wants from you
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All I’m seeing are red flags. He should of been able to freely talk to you about these things in the beginning of the relationship. He can’t talk to you about it now it’ll be best to stop wasting your time. Good luck!
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Good grief! You act like you’re over the hill. I got married at 35 and still had four fabulous children! You have time!
Simple move on. It’s not what he wants. Please don’t wait on him. He’s telling you enough to keep you around
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y’all have only been together for a year… some people arnt ready to talk marriage or babies or even moving in with each other only a year after dating you hardly know eachother yet. Everyone so quick to say leave him. You want to start a family at 30 and you are already 27 that may be to fast for him. Give it some time before you start talking life commitments it’s not his job to pay your rent regardless if he stays the night
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I mean I’d be offended if after a year my SO was so nonchalant. Like bruh we aren’t getting younger, life keeps moving. Don’t waste your time. If you know you’d like a family soon, find you a man who wants to take the steps to be a family man too.
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Where does he live? Why is he always at your place? Does he live with his parents? I think you’re just Ms. Right Now to him. I’m sorry.
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Nope! Tell him to kick rocks. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. We moved in together 3 months after dating, got pregnant 2 months later and the rest is history. If he truly loves you, he will show it
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As long as he’s getting what he wants without a ring, why ruin his free ride. Cut it all off and see how fast he runs 
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Sounds like he is way to comfortable the way things are and that’s him coming and going when he pleases and not having to be responsible for adult things like rent bills and so fourth …sounds like u for your stuff together you may want to move on to someone who is ready and wants to build a family with you and is ready to make adult choices . Cause u never really wanna rush anyone cause they will just make it hard on you later and u want be happy . Move on is your best bet you feel find someone who wants to become your family .
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Throw him all the way away. Now.
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Oo. I think you have made it too cozy. He does not see a future with you, but not the same way you do. He sees you as a convenience.
Example. I had been single for 4 years, met my husband for coffee, he moved in a month later, and I was a single mom, and we were married three months after meeting (legit met in Sept and married in Dec)
If a man wants you and you want him, nothing will stop you two from being together. I sincerely hope you value yourself to kick him out and find someone who wants to be your 100% partner. Good luck
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He ain’t ready. Simple run and fast. He isn’t in any way committed to you. 
my husband knew he wanted me as his wife before we even started dating. He was always trying to get me to go out with him and I always tried the I just wanna be friends card after a while I just said wth why not? I went on a few dates with him and that was it. We were dating for 3 weeks before we both moved out of where we were and moved into a new place together. We have been together 8 years and married for 3 years. We have 3 kids together and his 3 kids from his previous marriage plus a bonus child and we couldn’t be happier. You know if you want to have that life with someone and he clearly doesn’t
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I know it’s hard to hear but you need to move on! Before you get wrapped up with this guy. He’s not the one. You seem like you’re on the right page and he’s not even in the same book as you. Just be friends and see how it goes. You deserve better…is all I’ll say. Life is too short for that. Good luck!
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You say you don’t want to rush, but you want to start a family in the next couple of years? Find a new man. One that will give you what you want and be excited about it.
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Flat out tell him hey your done waiting. Either he grows up and gets serious about planning a future with you or its time for you to move on and find someone else who wants the same things you do. He’s thinking why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. Honestly don’t think he’s that in to you if he won’t even talk about things.
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You don’t need a husband to start a family. Plenty of women do it completely on their own.
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First off I feel that even though you see you’ve been together almost year I think you’re being pretty sure somehow as well as I think that you’re just having delusions of granger thinking this guy is going to want to be with you and he is the kind of guy that you would have to stay with 24 5 years before he decided he wanted to marry you and have children and at your age if that’s not okay then be gone I mean you’re not going to get anywhere with him
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Why should he make a commitment to you when he is already getting his needs met with no strings attached? After a full year together, he has made a decision about marriage , and it isn’t the one you are hoping for. For goodness sake, DO NOT have children with him. Kids deserve better and so do you.
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“Shit or get off the pot”.
Sorry, but he doesn’t love you. He doesn’t want a future with you he wants a friend with benefits.im sorry. Send him packing
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He is looking for his forever home and it is probably not with you he is treating you like a placeholder
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If you’re questioning, you know the answer.
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So many of these comments Make me lol. Each person is different in a relationship it’s not ours to say. My brother was with his gf for over 6 yrs before they moved in together where I was with mine for less than a year before we lived together. Each couple are different don’t push things when one person’s not fully ready. When you push someone to do something they don’t want to thats how you will quickly fuck it up. Go with the flow enjoy it xx
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I disagree with everyone on here. A year isn’t a long time. You’re only 27. If he is the same age maybe he isn’t financially stable enough for such a big commitment. Wait one more year but NO SLEEPOVERS! You sleep at his place. If it’s at his parents place it won’t be comfortable so make him sweat. You made it too easy for him letting him sleep over.
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I was with my fella for a year and a half, im a single mum, id mention moving in and having a baby together possible marriage, because I wanted a future. How wrong I was to be talking about this with him, long story short, he’s a narcissist I brushed it under the carpet we’ve been broken up nearly a week and I’m much happier knowing I get to make my future with someone who’s ready and wants to be an adult not a petulant child
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“term hobosexual was coined by writer Nakita Nicci, and she describes a hobosexual as a person "who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay – not a genuine romantic interest.”
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Women work on a bilogical clock. They want to start a family and get it done before it’s too late.
Men work on a financial clock. They want to have a stable job, a house of their own to live in and a car to get from A to B, before starting a family. To relieve the stresses of doing both at the same time.
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Most men won’t ever do anything they don’t want to do. A real man asks for what he wants…if he wanted marriage, he would let you know so you didn’t question it.
Sorry babe. It may be time to let him be without. You do you babe! Keep being independent & I promise a real man will come along to appreciate everything about you, including you feeling ready to settle down with a good man! Xoxo
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I’m sorry sweetie…but its time to look for someone that has the same life goals as you…this is not the right guy for you. He sounds like a user…please don’t waste anymore time on him. Good luck💛
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Words of advice from a woman who forced a man to be ready for something he wasn’t: if he isn’t ready for what you are then move on. You know where you see your life going, and this man doesn’t feel as strongly as you about it so move on. You know what you want for your future, so don’t settle. Don’t wait around for him to possibly be ready in a year or two if it’s something you’re wanting to start on right now. You can’t compromise your wants for a future
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Just sounds like he isn’t emotionally involved enough. Keep your options open.
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It’s only been a year,
Give it time and maybe don’t be so accommodating!
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A guy will know if your the person they see a future with. Was with my ex for a few years and he was not ready to make a commitment. Long story short my husband was with his ex for 9 years and didn’t marry. We got together less than a year had baby and got married. He knew he wanted to marry me on the third date. 8 years strong with three kids now 
. Don’t go along with that BS I’m not ready yet. Know your worth!!
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him to the curb or at the bare minimum don’t be so accommodating.
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Im sorry but this was my ex…it ended because he wasnt ready to grow up
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I was in this exact situation a few years ago and around the same age as you.
I left him, found myself someone a lot more compatible and mature and I’m now happily married.
It sounds like he isn’t as mature as you and you can’t force someone to make plans as they will resent it.
Leaving that guy was the best thing I did, my husband makes me feel so secure in our future and wants everything I do. Because he had his own house before we met he also is great with cooking/cleaning and helping with chores!
If I would have stayed with the other guy I would probably still be in the same situation you are now with him just living at mine for free 
a group where we tell you to dump them
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You should be telling him what you want. Be direct. If he isn’t on the same page then start dating other people and end the exclusive relationship you have with him. It’s called growing up. If he isn’t willing to give you what you need move on….but give him a chance first (not an ultimatum).
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leave him sis!
IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD.
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If it’s not right for you move on. You should not have to maneuver through a relationship this way. If its right you will know ot if its not same. Dont waste your time talking yourself in or out of it.
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He’s not ready. He’s not the one. I’m sorry. You sound like a lovely person who deserves someone who is invested in creating a future with you. Good luck.
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Ive been with my partner for a year we live together and frequently check in about marriage and kids. Now isn’t the right time for us but its in our future. If he cant event discuss these topics I’d be moving on and finding someone else. I went through this with my ex and it broke my heart and wasted almost 5yrs of my life.
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He is being honest with you about his feelings, you need to listen. He just isn’t ready yet. I would really think because it sounds like you are planning different futures. Good luck, I hope things work out. Just remember your needs are important too, dont let him make you feel bad because you need more.
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He’s a free loader fuck him off
I feel like after a year you should be on the page. If you’re still wanting different things id say you aren’t really compatible.
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He is definitely not your future. Know that you are worth everything you want. Move on and find your true future. Good Luck
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel my boyfriend isn't taking any steps to better our future: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
See it from his point of view? Youre coming across a bit full on. Been together a year and you’re wanting him to commit to living together, marriage and kids. He may be years away from being ready for that, and just because it’s on your agenda for the next few years doesn’t mean he is ready. Life is about compromise - you need to sit down and have an adult conversation with this man, it’s not your way or the high way but you meet in the middle. If both od you are too far apart in your ideas then call it quits and move on, but you can’t expect to meet someone and say in 12m I want kids (getting preggers 3 months into relationship) as you will end up with a sperm donor not a partner
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Feels but im not with anyone im pretty content on my own though I could not even consider having kids during this horrible times.
Id flat out ask him flat out communicate your needs an if he cant give you that then find someone else will. Youll end up both resenting eachother eventually.
I would have a chat with him, explain how important these things are to you and push him on where he sees things going and be honest with you. Then you have a decision to make if he’s not interested in the same things but at least you’ll know and won’t be hanging on just in case. Don’t be with any man simply because you want kids although I understand the pressure of the biological clock
Leave him, your 27…you still have time to be young and single. Your 20s are not for waiting for a man to be ready (one in which shows no signs of be ready anytime soon) find one who is ready. A year is enough time to know if you atleast want to talk about the future. His delay is alarming especially if your expressing your desires for the future yet he doesn’t express his. Your not wrong for feeling like certain steps and milestones should be hit.
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Stop letting him come over n staying the night. If he won’t help out. He’s definitely not going to help out with the kids if you eventually have any.
I’d say “thank you… next!” You know your worth n what you want!
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I think if a man wants something he will express it or make steps to achieve it. If he doesn’t he won’t I wasted my time with guys thinking we had a future and now I look back I think they always knew we didn’t and would do the same stuff with skirting around the subject or not making any commitments. My now fiance moved in with me after 6 months and always expressed me to how much he wants a future with me.
Actions speak louder than words lovely, follow your gut. I think you know deep down something not right otherwise you wouldn’t be asking for help/advice.
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He’s simply not ready. He’s comfortable with his life and doesn’t have a thought for the future. This was me a few years back. Since splitting with my ex years ago and losing a baby it really give me that realisation to what I want in life, I’m in the situation where I want to settle down and start a family but I just have to find someone to connect with, I feel like it’s going to be too late as I’m 29 in a few months.
I feel like after 12 months worth of a relationship you should be able to talk about these situations and the fact that he isn’t is slightly worrying. I also think it says a lot that he isn’t offering to help with your rent or bills when he’s practically living with you. Makes me think he’s slightly immature as a man would realise the financial implication and step up. Been there, done that.
Its all about communication lovely. I’d sit him down with a beer and a glass of wine and just tell him exactly how you feel, no holding back. You’ll end up resenting each other. Difference with men and women is we understand life moves forward and time is always on our minds. Men seem to think it stands still and they’re all Peter pan 
Know your worth sweet. It’s your life, if he’s not complimenting it and working with you, I’d cut ties.
I hope you’re ok x x
Simple. He isn’t ready.
Either deal with it and wait for him to be ready, or move on.
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