I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years and I’m 27. Only in the last month or so has he openly discussed having children. He’s a bloke 
Guys are simple, if your the one, we want to move in
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I’d say sit down and have a talk with him… Say that this is where your head is at right now, these are the things you want in the next few years etc. And that you just want to know for sure exactly where he is at because there’s no point in continuing in a relationship like this… He may want those things eventually, just not now! For a relationship to work especially with these topics, you both need to be on the same page about it! It sucks but you’re better off finding out now rather than later!
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Same thing i went through but he wasnt ready and he still isnt some men are set in their ways talk to him but if he dismisses it then he always will
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel my boyfriend isn't taking any steps to better our future: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
I had the same situation. Almost exactly. He was super weird about living together, getting married, having kids… it didn’t end up the way we wanted. I eventually left him because I knew I would never want kids with him. I’d say cut your losses now. Any man that’s serious with you will want those things too, eventually. And not talking about it with you, to me, means he’s waiting for something better.
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He’s not ready for anything. & it has nothing to do with you because If he was he’d be able to have a conversation with you explaining what he wants or not. he’s probably not mature enough to handle this situation & it’s not going to end well. Cut your losses now before it’s too late
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My son has been with his girlfriend for 4 years. They have lived together 3 years. She was ready for them to marry at least 2 years ago but he drug his feet for various reasons…finances, relationship stability and their ages (both under 26) neither wanted children. Sunday I will be watching them give their promises to one another and in dec or jan I will be holding their child. They are both ecstatic. Sometimes it’s worth the wait
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He’s not ready and if you are, look for someone else. Men know and will start taking steps towards serious commitment when they’re ready and a year is more than enough time.
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Here’s another perspective for you: my partner and I just passed 2 years being together, yay! But, we don’t live with eachother, not yet anyway. Our connection and chemistry was undeniable from the beginning, and we made the decision, we’re it - we’re forever. We know what we want and what we don’t want (both had previous longterm relationships), and we’ve found our match in eachother 
we are moving in together end of this year, and then we can finally move forward with our next steps in life together, like marriage, more kids etc. Often people ask why hasn’t he moved in etc? Not that its anyone else’s business, but for us and our circumstances, we’re ok with the living situation because we know its only temporary. It doesn’t define our relationship plus we’re patient and we know exactly where we stand 
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Wait another year, it’s sooo different once you live with someone , no matter how often you spend time together. Be patient. 
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Forgive me, I’m from the Deep South and this is a term we use, “Why would he pay for the cow if the milk is free?”
He’s getting the convenience of being with you without having to commit. It sounds like you already have your answer sweetie. Best of luck!
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Honey this is a lifelong battle with some men and I promise you, some men just don’t have it in them. You can threaten to leave, you can nag incessantly, no matter what you do they don’t change. I wasted 17 years of my life on one of these guys and it’s still not quite over.
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Maybe sit tight for another year. You’ll have a better idea if this is going in the right direction or it’s not going at all. I was your age when my boyfriend was reluctant to move things forward. I waited for him for four years and then another four before kids. Today is the 40th anniversary of our first date. He was worth waiting for. We’ve been married for 36 years and have two grown daughters. That four years doesn’t seem like that long now.
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When I met my husband, I think I was more like your boyfriend. He started planning right away for our future (he had a house and I lived at home). He was looking for furniture and I was basically working all the time. I was afraid, I knew I wanted to be with him, but I had been abused by men most of my life and I was just terrified. We had to talk to about it, I had to be honest about the abuse because he was thinking I didn’t want to be with him. Even today, 4 years and 3 kids later, he is still so much more the planner than me. But now he knows how to help me, explain to me that he isn’t rushing me, he is preparing. I truthfully don’t know why your boyfriend is like that, and I’m sorry, but having a brand new future can be daunting to some people. I’m definitely not saying it’s ok, I’m just saying it happens sometimes to good people
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If he’s not even willing to discuss these things then he’s not ready. You also can’t force anyone to be ready for these things. Maybe it’s time to let him know that you need to be with someone who is at the same stage of life as you are. Nothing wrong with that. Just don’t waste years on a man, when you can’t get that time back.
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Why you wasting time with a man that don’t know what he want when you can be with someone who is on the same page as you? Move on girl and leave that man alone. 30 will be here before you know it!
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I was there at age 24 having been with someone for almost 6 years. My best advice is to leave. It’s unfortunate but you deserve to have your desires fulfilled and it isn’t going to happen with him. Don’t waste any more time. He is old enough to know what he wants and to actually do it. But he isn’t going to move in the way you need or want him to. I wasted a lot of hope, time and dreams on my ex boyfriend but now I’ve been married for 11 years with two kids. We bought a house the first year we were together, got engaged, then married within the next 18 months. When you know you know.
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He’s just not that into you. You’ve been together Over a year and both want different things on a different time line. If you want to be his girl friend like you have been stick around. If not… move along.
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Yeaaaaah. I was off and on with someone like this for over three years. We never even labeled the “situationship.” Just called ourselves “friends” although literally everyone we knew knew it was more, even the families. I still consider him one of my good friends but I think looking back I was just a comfortable space for him to fill a void without having to commit. I wouldn’t push too hard but I also wouldn’t give too much from your end. Spend less time “at home” with him and go out on more dates. Try to get to know each other better outside of what’s normal to you both. Really dig in deep with each other and see if you’re truly compatible with the same likes and such or if you’re just essentially using each other to try and occupy a space even though your pieces don’t actually fit together… If that makes sense. If you don’t fit together outside of the “home life” just while you’re dating, you won’t fit together well while married.
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1 year is enough. If there aren’t steps to move in together let him know you love him and would like to live with him sooner rather than later and give an end date. I waited 7 years… I loved him when I ended it… but glad I did… it is about being a priority
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Be thankful he is being truthful with you. He likes the relationship the way it is and is clear about the fact that he’s NOT interested in living together.
Your choice to accept that, or don’t, but don’t expect anything but the truth in front of you… I’m glad he’s being upfront and direct.
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I feel men know what they want. They know if they see a future with u or if ur just “for now”. If u can’t even have a convo about it without him feeling some type of way then I think that’s ya answer. Either he’s not ready or doesn’t want that with u!
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My God girl I had anxiety reading you. Don’t let the “honeymoon” stage be so intense in you (up to 3 years we are blinded by the “effects of love”. The chemicals you know. The romance in our brain). 1 year is ridiculous to think about marriage and kids. I bet in 1 year you didn’t live lots of situations with this man yet: a loss of a family member, lots of holidays, moments with important decisions, and so on. To see how he really is (or you). I am closer to 30s and the more I age the more I understand men. Women are very intense. Sit down with that man you want, set the things clear, talk without forcing him and both decide but, to be honest, I see a lot of intensity from your side being so young and only 1 year together. Sorry no offence just maybe I was raised different about relationships. There is an amazing life out there without marriage or kids too. Even without a boyfriend. There is no need for all these things if you feel complete inside you.
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Nothing wrong with starting a family after 30. He’s not ready. Decide whether he’s the one or rushing into a family because you want one is what you want. I met the love of my life at 29, kid at 30 and 32 so don’t put such a number on things. If you love him and you feel he’s the one and this is the only issue, remember that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Some guy may give you kids but not be there.
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I got with my husband when I was 16 he was 17. We moved in together about a week into our relationship and at 17 I was pregnant. We unfortunately lost that baby and had our first baby when I was 19 and we got married later that year. We have split up twice since being married due to being so unable to communicate. Now I love my husband more than anything in the world but I wish we would’ve focused more on each other before we rushed into everything so quickly. I would make sure you sit this man down and make sure he can open up and talk about his future wants and needs and communicate his fears about it all before you even consider living with him. If he’s not willing to communicate then he’s not worth your stress
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Sorry to say this but being together for a year really isn’t being together long enough so give it time like at least 2 to 3 years maybe he doesn’t feel you both been together long enough don’t rush things and see if this is the guy you would really want to marry , this is my thoughts and hope this helps you out and good luck to you both
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Leave 
if he isn’t willingly getting his shit together for you then he won’t do it, or he will resent you if you try to force him
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Honest opinion,if he walked into a relationship with you feeling that his not ready for commitment, then he will never be ready for commitment with you. You just there as entertainment… Make your heart strong girl and let go of the leach… U deserve a man that is willing to give you his all in a heartbeat. And they do exist, i found mine.
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I don’t know your intimate circumstances… but from my personal experience, when a man knows what they want, they don’t hesitate. I dated a guy for 4y in my 20s after college. The first year I was never even disclosed to his family/friends. Afterwards, when we did live together, he used every excuse in the book not to get married, have children, etc! (I don’t believe in marriage, I’m too old, I don’t want to pass this or that to my kids). The future was a topic that immediately started an argument. Future meaning anything that was different than our current situation. It wasn’t age or financial- this guy was years my senior and already an attending physician. I finally left, after wasting years of my life… I reconnected with a guy in my past (younger years) and within 1y we were living together and planning a future. We are now married, have a beautiful son and I am beyond happy with my life and little family! It’s all I ever wanted… to be loved in return and grow as a couple. All of this to say, a few things could be going on. No one knows. The one thing I do know, is that years fly by really fast and if you want something that someone isn’t giving you… there are many more fish in the sea.
To finish this out… he’s getting married and planning for kids. I find myself wondering about it sometimes and reminding myself that things happen for a reason. Sometimes people don’t connect in that way or they just aren’t right for each other in a romantic sense… there’s nothing wrong with that.
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If you know what you want and he is not willing to tall about it I would.maybe think about your future with him…I met my husband at 20 and 3 months later we were engaged and married a year later had our first child at 24 second at 25 and 3rs at 30…let me tell if I waited any longer to have kids I would have went crazy the lack of sleep with a newborn and working full time is not easy at all the older you get that 5 year gap was huge in the exhausting department. This is just my opinion but for me I dated before and when you know you know they are right…we will be married 15 years this year.
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A discussion about the future is not a big deal. Its just a discussion. I think its fair to want that.
But…you are 27!!! Honey, don’t even think about this right now. Do you! Live your life. Healthy kids are born to women in their 40’s. You might just be selling your life short here!
Build your life FIRST! have a foundation for YOU before sharing your life with anyone!
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He’s not the one. You don’t have the same goals/outlook.
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To quote one of my favorite movies: “It’s been my experience that the average male is never a man, not even for ten minutes, in his entire lifespan.”
It sounds to me like he’s not quite ready for commitment. There are two ways to deal with this:
- Write out your 5 year plan, and ask him his opinion on it. Include everything, not just relationship goals. If he’s not interested in discussing, keep him on the outside and go forward yourself, revisit your relationship status as you go.
- Find someone else, who’s got their life in order and wants to commit and have a family life.
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I don’t feel like a year is rushing into living together. I think that’s reasonable. He might not be the one. Doesn’t sound mature enough.
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After a year, he should know if he’s interested enough to spend the future together….
Unfortunately, if he’s not moving forward in that direction, it’s because he does not see you as his future. You might be “in” his future ( like still dating) but you are not who he sees “building a future” with……
He’s just not ready for you to walk - so he will continue to feed you , just enough, to keep you around.
I say , drop an ultimatum ; then be prepared to walk. The longer you waste time on a “what if” or “ when he’s ready…” you are keeping yourself from finding the “right one” that is ready to build a life with u.
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Seems like your on a different mindset than him . I would find someone who values and wants the same things as you .
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I think you will get many differences in what people’s opinions are on moving in together. It’s individualized. The important part I’m reading is that your sure and he’s not. After a year of investing time and love into someone I think he should at minimum be able to discuss it. Someone telling u not to bring it up cause you will push him away is telling you to sit yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. If he won’t have a discussion at least to determine how he feels about the topic than his avoiding is a red flag. Communication is key.
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Sounds like you’re at different stages. Time to move on.
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As so.eone that’s been in this position for 13 years… leave. Kick him out. Don’t keep trying.
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give him 6 months , and if he’s not ready , then move on and find a better fit , it’s not an ultimatum , it’s not wasting your time . My sister had a similar relationship for 3.5 years , she always bragged she would get married first (she is a year younger , but started dating before me ) well I, got married and had 4 kids and she still taking turns visiting back and forth with this guy . One day I asked her how long she was going to waste her time with him … She was mad at me but it must have got her thinking 2 or 3 weeks later she was looking around , no sign of whats his name ! Found out later he married a much younger girl within 3 months … So , value your time and the style of life you desire and find your happiness !
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Does his name start with a J? feel like we’re dating the same person 
wouldn’t surprise me.
You’re looking for something where you’re not going to find it unless you’re willing to wait long enough to find out I’ve been in the same situationship for almost 4 years and no progress at this point I’ve only hurt myself so I’m trying to back off and do my own thing now. Doesn’t mean I’m looking for anyone or dating around just more focused on myself. Too much energy spent on wasted effort for someone who doesn’t reciprocate or appreciate it.
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People can date for years before moving in with one another. it’s a big step and I personal never wanted to move in with my boyfriends I enjoyed my own space
Maybe split staying the nights at each other’s house to make it fair because it’s not right he’s only at your house
My husband and I never lived together till after we got married . Now that I wouldn’t say is a good idea lol. You do need to learn if you can live with that person or if it works
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Trust me when I say, keep your own place for as longgggg as you can. Living together and marriage is NOT all it’s cracked up to be. - xoxo Divorced, 33, and loving it.
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So like me and my husband started dating. Two months later I was pregnant. One year later engaged and two years later married. If he wants it he will want it. I feel like him not wanting to talk about it is a big red flag.
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I say read the book; He’s Just not that into you, not the movie the actual book. The guy who wrote it, Greg, has some super helpful insight from the male perspective, and it’s funny
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This maybe should have been discussed in the beginning of your relationship. It could have saved you a lot of heartache. A grown ass man has no issue talking about his future. A man child on the other hand. Id cut my losses and move on.
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DO NOT WAIT! We aren’t promised tomorrow … the relationship should evolve unless there’s just a shared understanding …he sounds cheap too that’s never good lol but seriously!! Don’t waste time on mr. wrong bc u just might miss a great partner while waiting on someone who clearly is not as invested. He’s making excuses and my opinion is that’s just where he’s at in life and if he doesn’t have plans n goals hes likely to stay just as he is… or he may genuinely love you and just not believe In Marriage do you want to spend time trying to unravel his issues or do you really wAnt multiple children and one by 30? YOU Know what you want so don’t just settle hoping he will change … go get your life. I am curious tho Have you told him your goals?
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When I met my Hubby we were engaged after 3 months and we’ve now been married for 53 years! If you know you know! I wouldn’t waste any more time with this man, it’s just making you unhappy
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Stop wasting your time…he is not going to commit or he would at least take steps to plan a future. He’s still looking, but not with you!
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I would say give it a little more time… some people aren’t sure until things settle… and talking about it after only a year might freak someone out in this day and age… I know its hard, but give it a little more time. If you feel deep down he is worth it
From someone who started at family at 30, wanted and has multiple kids, it’s not the end of the world. I was that person who wanted to be married by 24 and start having kids right away but it didn’t happen. I met my husband when I was 23, he was 25, we stared dating 6 months later (around the time I turned 24). For us, moving in together happened fast, moved in after a month, but we just knew and it worked for us. He proposed after 4 years together (2015), we got married a year later, and started our family shortly after that. I was 30 when I had my first child. We have been together almost 10.5 years, married almost 5 years, I’m now 34 years old and currently expecting our third and final child any day now. In my experience, my advice is: when you know, you know. Men tend to know what they want. If he is hesitant and shrugs his shoulders when asked then he either isn’t ready or doesn’t want to be. After being together for a year, you guys should be able to talk to each other about it without it being a problem.
Similar thing happened to me. He was 7 years older than me and claimed I just wasn’t mature enough to handle half of the responsibilities of living together (at the time we both lived with his parents). I was with him for 5 years and it wasn’t until I was 2 weeks from moving back home that he suddenly got his crap together. By then it was too little, too late.
Thankfully, I met a man who was 13 years older than me and recognized that I was mature enough. I was only with him for a year before we moved in together. So it sounds like maybe he’s got reasons for not wanting to make the leap yet. I say get your own life together and find your own place without him. If he sees you moving on he might get his ass in gear. If not, then you’re better off without him.
Men will continue to look for “the one” while you’re thinking he’s “the one” men change for who they want to and I have a feeling you’re just keeping someone else’s spot warm
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No.matter how much you love someone, or know how awesome they are and/or can be, doesn’t affect how they feel and their choices. He seems to be pretty solid on how he feels.
It seems like a good time to recollect on the good times and memories and give a good thought to your future: for you and both of you. If you stay, how much of your life are you going to become bitter and regret waiting for him and his wants to match yours when you could be continuing to better yourself and moving towards the future you want? I had to come to this realization and it’s hard. But now, at 30, with the man I met almost 10 years ago (did the whole, if it’s meant to be it’ll happen thing and here we are), ready to have our son any day now, our 3rd child, I wouldn’t trade any of the life lessons both of us had to learn to get to this point. We both know how to set better boundaries and we both know how to communicate so we don’t simmer in anger over things.
Stop kneecapping your sentences and state exactly what you want. You don’t have to feel like you’re putting on pressure or feel like you’re pushing too much. Being forward about the direction you’d like your LIFE to go is NOT a bad thing. We’re trained to hold back and not stir the pot, for fear that we’ll spook the person we would like these things with and that should stop. We doesn’t just mean women, it means humans. If you’re in a relationship with someone who won’t even hear or entertain the idea of what you want out of life, then maybe that’s not your person. You should never feel afraid to be vocal.
you need to be on the same page to get it to work - he is not ready to commit further and you cannot make him want to. Find the guy who would move heaven and earth to be with you snd your happiness is a high priority for him.
Try the 30 dates rule: once you’ve been on a date with 30 different guys, you will absolutely know what or who the right guy is
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Slam the brakes on and stop asking him about your future together!! Wait another 6 months and if things have stayed exactly the same as now, tell him that you see marriage and children In your near future and if he’s still not interested…WALK AWAY with your head held high. Good luck x
If you love him and know he lives you I wouldn’t sweat it. But if other things give you pause it may be time to reevaluate.
I was in the exact same situation, but we got pregnant after a year. I thought this would help him to commit and it did for a year or so, we even went on to have a second child. However during the pregnancy of the second, the pressure got to much for him and we mutually split. I am now a single parent to a 2&3 year old. He would still like bed buddy status now but it’s me who put my foot down, not only do I need the stability but so do the children. Don’t push him into commitment coz it will back fire. If he not ready then you need to make the decision to stay and wait until he is (may never happen) or leave and hope he realises what he has lost and wants to commit so he don’t lose you again. But don’t wait for him, you go and enjoy your life while he does some soul searching.
My mum is still in this situation and she is 60, she won’t leave but some men don’t grow up. Good luck, hope you get the future you deserve 
You are still super young. I thought the same thing at your age. Now at 34, I am so glad it didn’t happen as I had planned. I have grown so much between 24 and 34 its crazy! My suggestion is tap the breaks and give yourself time.
When I met my husband, our second date actually, we both had dinner and talked about what we wanted from the relationship. We both knew we weren’t looking to date just to date. It was either going to be towards something or it wasn’t. My husband actually first asked me if we were going to be exclusive or just dick around. We talked for two months, didn’t really hold hands, didn’t kiss, just kinda became friends, and after almost 3 we were an official couple. Granted, we were in our 30s, but still. When a man knows what he wants, he knows what he wants and can talk about it. My grandma always had two sayings, why date just to date if it isn’t going anywhere, and before even thinking of marriage, live with someone for a whole year. See all the flaws and everything. If at the end of that year, you still feel the exact same way, its a good bet. And the first 5 years are always the hardest. Almost 4 years now, we just got married last year, and its good. We had a baby, purchased a home, our other kids know they have a happy family. If the man doesn’t say anything or even remotely want to talk about a future, he’s probably just liking the benefits of a relationship without having to commit. Or he may just not be that into you. Those saying he will know what he wants are right. It doesn’t take a year or more to envision a life with someone.
My boyfriend and I were together for 1.5 years before he moved in with me. He was always hesitant about change. Have talked about marriage but he’s not in a hurry. Finally bought a house together this year. July was 6 years together. He’s not a big fan of change so it takes him a bit to finally make a decision but once he was ready we went for it. Hopefully marriage and baby in our future. I have a 9 year old son from a previous relationship and he has stepped up big time from the beginning. Just have patience. If you have a good feeling about yall together it’ll happen. If not make a change.
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Clearly he isn’t ready for comment. You have to decide is your time worth investing in him. Is he only using you for a booty call and do you want that reputation. Decide and cut off the booty calls until.he starts committing to something
To me, it sounds like your boyfriend is keeping you from your husband. If he really wanted a long term with you, he would express that. “I’m not ready yet, but eventually I would love to do those things with you.” If he won’t even carry that conversation with you he either A.) doesn’t want it at all. B.) just doesn’t want it with you. A year is enough to see whether or not you want to pursue a future with someone even if you don’t start it right away.
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Nope hes not ready n hes getting it all free seems like hes not telling u why He doesn’t want to live with you. I would leave him but thats just me.
Sounds like he’s not ready for responsibility. If he can’t handle discussing future plans he’s not mature enough for a relationship. Any man that sleeps over more than his own house technically lives there and should want to help out. That’s how you decipher men from boys. If you feel like he’s worth playing this game with go for it, otherwise I feel like you’re wasting your time.
Your bf isn’t ready to have a family and move in. That’s obvious. If you love him you will wait until he is ready if not move on.
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Does he have his own place that he rents…and has he said I love you yet to you…a year isn’t really that long but once it gets to 2 years then I would be expecting more…Maybe he isn’t the one for you because he isn’t willing to discuss it…try being less available to him and see if he changes…
I would give it another year for him to show he wants you in his life and future if not than might to move on don’t make a man want something he doesn’t want you will only hurt self and don’t think a baby will keep a man.
My question is would you be pushing like this if you weren’t so worried about having kids by the time you are 30? Not everybody moves at the same pace. Not saying he’s good for you cause I have no clue but you want multiple kids and feel pressured to start soon so you want things to hurry along so everything is how YOU need it to be. Also does he want multiple kids as well? I have many questions.
Focus on a career and making a life with the two of you… support each other’s careers. Focus on that for 2-3 years. You both are still really young. Being 30 and having kids isn’t an issue. Being 40 and having children isn’t an isssue… refocus your intentions. Get him to talk yes, but comfortably for both, matters. He may not be able to find the words yet. Build on your relationship, career wise, first.
I was with my then boyfriend (now husband) barely a year and a half when I got pregnant. We had just decided literally days prior that we wanted to wait a while to have kids and we’re discussing that we do want to get married but not until we had more saved up. We ended up just doing the legal paperwork to get married (it was the middle of the pandemic and quarantine was still sort of a thing) 2 months before I had our son. Now we have a one year old and we’ve been married over a year now. I’ve asked him a few times when he knew he 100% wanted to marry me and have a family with me. His answer is always “about a year after we got together, maybe a month or two before”. (Most) Men know what they want and when they want it.
Well a man has to know what he wants from the very begining 
If he wants to be in a relationship with than he should also want to marry you because if that was not his motive from the beginning than why did he get you to be in the relationship in the very firsf place. We date to marry but if not than he is only dating for fun and that is not right at all 
You deserve better
It’s time to move on. If he’s not willing to even have these conversations you’re wasting your time. Someone that wants a future life with you would be more than willing to have conversations. It would be reasonable if you guys had these conversations and he said he isn’t ready to take these steps. For him to not even talk about it, feels to me like he either doesn’t want to commit period or he just doesn’t want to commit with you. As much as it sucks to walk away from a relationship, you can’t keep waiting around to see if he will come around and decide to start this journey with you. Find a man that values your worth and your time. There is someone out there that will look forward to these topics and building a life with you.
from a personal experience, I moved into my SO apartment the day he asked me out and to move in…we are 6 years happily married with 2 children…I mean you know when you know otherwise if he can’t even bother with details why bother? plenty of fish in the sea
I’m 48 and I dated a 42 yr old for three years who was exactly like this! And we had dated for a period of time 2 years before that. He had a girlfriend of 9 years that he didn’t commit to, he had another relationship for 6 years that he didn’t commit to, then there is me with 3 1/2 years total dating time that he wouldn’t commit to. He’s never lived with anyone, never proposed, never been married and never had kids. I finally gave up on him back in May. I love him dearly but I can’t make him want what I want and I can’t force him to level up with me. Sometimes, no matter what the age, they just won’t pull the trigger
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If you think he’s worth the wait then that’s one thing and that works for some people. But for him to not even be able to have a conversation about it seems immature. (Example: My husband wasn’t ready to propose to me even though we’d had multiple talks about what the future looked like for us. But I knew what I wanted and decided I didn’t want to wait so I proposed to him. We have now been married 10 years.)
It seems to me that him not even talking to you about the situation is your answer. It’s not he doesn’t feel comfortable he just doesn’t want it I don’t think. When a man knows what he wants he will make it very clear.
My boyfriend and I started dating in November, (although we had known each other years previously) he came over one night and never left we moved straight in with one another. I have two kids from a previous marriage and he has one. He took on my kids like they were his own like I did with his. We talked about our future and was VERY open and honest with one another about what we wanted. We are now 23 weeks into expecting a baby girl, In November, it will be a year of us dating.
However, everyone is different. I would just tell him you need to know where he stands so you can better prepare for your future. Don’t take “no” or “I don’t know” or “I’m uncomfotable” as a answer, and if you have to, take that as your sign
Time for you to move on. No reason why you can’t at least talk about it. He doesn’t want the same things.
When you’re in your late 20s and you know you want to get married and have kids you need to know your partner wants the same things, if you don’t it’s just a whole waste of time and as for not being bothered to move in and help with bills, no chance, he’s a freeloader commitment phobe! 
A man (not boy) knows the person he is going to marry within the first few months. this comes from every man I know in my life. When they know, they know, and they are willing to take the next steps. If he is dragging his heels, he will be doing that the entire relationship. If he’s not on your level, and you’ve made your wants and needs from him very clear, and he’s still not trying to make at least some effort for you to feel better about the relationship, then it’s done. He’s not willing to put in the effort, and that’s the biggest red flag.
You can’t force him into those serious commitments, nor should you want to really. Though it will sting for awhile cut yourself loses and move on. You’re not on the same page and probably won’t ever be, certainly not since you have a timetable for starting a family.
Talk wt him about it.if he don’t want to talk.Then move on.If hes not willing to at least talk about it.then he sees no future with you.If you want something more an he don’t.Then ur wasting your time wt someone that just is not their yet.Thats ok.Move on an find someone who wants the same thing you do.
If he’s not comfortable talking about it… he’s not even close to being on the same page as you. If you feel like you can’t wait around (I wouldn’t blame you after a year honestly) I don’t think it’s something you can force and maybe you just aren’t compatible in the long term.
The key in this is he is your BOYfriend. He is clearly still in a phase of life where he wants to have fun and not get serious about your relationship or future. What you describe is somebody who has no solid man game and therefore lacks maturity and is not really on your level. He’s still a boy. You deserve somebody who is enthusiastic about being with you, who considers themselves lucky to be with you, and who is interested in making a life with you. A real man doesn’t play around with girls feelings, doesn’t enter into a physical relationship without providing a real commitment to you. Marrying somebody like this would only spell problems. There is real love out there from somebody who will cherish you. Cut bait.
Question:. Does the guy possess the qualities that you want in a man? If so… Maybe wait to see (6 months) if something grows naturally. If he does not have the qualities you seek in a man… Then move on.
In my opinion it takes a year to know if you wanna live with someone and a year to know if you wanna marry them after that
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Men just don’t go as fast in these steps. It’s good he says he sees that in the future, but he’s not ready to see the future as more than a nebulous concept. I would say sit him down and discuss the timeline you are seeing for yourself abs get his feelings on that concept. How he reacts will give you a better idea of whether there’s something worth building there or not. If you need to, tell him, look, as a woman with limited child bearing years, I need to know if this is the part we are on, or if I need to start looking for someone wise who has the ideas and goals I do
Honestly, it sounds like he isn’t entirely ready to do all of those things just yet. Which is ok. I feel like eventually as the relationship goes on, he may change his mind. As the relationship goes on, things can change. For me (my own personal thoughts, my husband and talked about marriage 2-3 years into our relationship. But we didn’t talk about it every chance we got. We really didn’t get serious about marriage until maybe a month before he went to boot camp. We got married just before our five year anniversary of being together.
Maybe he’s just not ready yet, it doesn’t make him a bad person. Everyone is different they move at there own pace you can’t expect him to be exactly like you Just chill and enjoy and see where it leads
Run and never look back. He can’t have a conversation and it’s been a year. He’s going to waste more of your time.
He sounds dodgy as!
After a year and still won’t even talk about things? Are U sure Ur not a side chick? Dude probably got a whole as wife 4 kids and a mortgage on the downlow.
Even if he doesn’t I think it would be a waste if your time to stick with him he’s obviously not planning on committing and U have a clear plan of what U want for your future, ditch him and find someone who has a more similar life goal. He is holding U back.
I feel the best way to go about it is to tell him exactly the way the issue is addressed to us. Tell him these are things that you want and that he seems hesitant and you’d like to know why… you don’t wanna rush into anything but you don’t want to sit and wait around for him especially of he doesn’t think he’ll come around. It’s always best to address these things directly without getting too emotional. That scares some men and has them go on the defense or completely avoid/ shut down. If he is a partner that you see being there for life you all should really focus on communicating and this will really be an eye opener on how he reacts/ responds. I wish the best for you lovie!
Girl!! Is No about him …it is about you…what do you need?..what do you want in a relationship? A family and a committed man? Is he giving you that?..yes …continue the relationship and wait he will get there…no…it is not going to change …even if you “convinced” him to plan a future with you …he is not giving you what you need …a good relationship is when both parts get what they one from the relationship …whatever that something is
If he isn’t ready to take that step you can’t force him. Have a conversation about when he feels is a good time to move in together and go from there. If you’re willing to wait till he’s ready, do so. If you’re not, it’ll be easier on both of you to break apart so you can find someone on the same timeline
Seems a little immature to me if you guys don’t talk and decide if you want or see the same future it’s not meant to be . and I’m sorry but a year is a good amount to have that conversation . If he doesn’t want to even talk abou let it he most likely doesn’t want it
That’s how it was with me and my boyfriend. I let him do whatever he wanted to and gave him lots of space. As soon as I stopped asking and pressuring him, giving him the idea I wasn’t really interested, he turned his way of thinking REAL QUICK.
Leave him, he has already wasted one entire year of your life and by now talking about this topic should definitely not be that complex. I never had that problem, I was that problem. I cannot relate but I do know that when you know, you know. I wasted various bf’s time and with my hubby I just knew. We got married after 10 months of dating and we will be celebrating (God willing) 11 years of marriage in Dec. Also, I had a friend with this problem who lost 8 years with a bf. Seriously, run and don’t look back.