Yesterday morning, I woke up not feeling well. After less than two hours of being awake, I threw up. This has been a somewhat common thing for me recently (I’m not pregnant), but usually after the first or second time throwing up, I feel better and can get some rest. This time though, as soon as I tried to relax, I had to puke again. But at this point I was dry-heaving and it was painful and awful. This went on nonstop for two hours. I couldn’t even drink water because I would immediately throw it up. I finally called the doctor’s office and spoke with a nurse who said I needed to go to the ER, for dehydration if nothing else. I definitely could not drive myself in my condition so I called my husband first even though I knew he couldn’t answer at work (he didn’t). I called my boss (who I am close with), no answer. My sister, no answer. My best friend, no answer. Finally my mom (who was my last resort) answered, but told me she had too much to do that day to take me. Eventually, my boss got back to me and sent another girl from work to take me. While waiting, my best friend got back to me and offered to take me, and I later found out my sister never even got the notification that I called. On my husband’s next break, I told him I was at the hospital and he left work right away to be with me. I, and everyone I’ve told this story to, cannot believe my mom didn’t take me. If my son had called me and said he was so sick he needed to go to the hospital, I don’t care what I had going on, I’d move my schedule around to help him (or really any of my loved ones). I don’t know how to navigate my relationship with my mom anymore. This isn’t the first sign of selfishness she’s shown towards me or my siblings and she never sees anything wrong with her decisions if we try to talk to her about them. Any advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel my mom is being selfish for not taking me to the ER
Call a taxi go to the hospital. Get well
So awful! What a creep
Mom sounds like a narcissist.
Call an ambulance next time
Parents can be toxic I broke my back in a car accident and hospital call my “mother” she said I’m too busy entertaining friends at the moment !! I’m sorry your mum wasn’t there for you x
I hope you feel better! Your mom definitely should have helped. Family always comes first
Is it selfishness or does she have boundaries?
Mom is a piece of crap 
My mom wouldn’t have taken me either
You will not change her, love her because she’s your mother…and don’t expect anything from her, so that you won’t be let down!!
If she doesn’t want a relationship with you don’t have one . Live your life as she doesn’t exist and you won’t be disappointed. Focus on your family and the people who do want to be around you 
She sounds toxic…for your sanity avoid a relationship with this woman. It doesn’t matter her title, she owes you respect as well
Take her off your emergency phone numbers immediately. Have a heart to heart with your husband and let him know how she makes you feel. If it were me, I would start distancing myself from her even tho it will be hard but it will be what’s best in the long run. Good luck and god bless!
Everyone jumping all over her. It depends what she had to do. You weren’t in a life or death situation where you ABSOLUTELY had to be at the ER or else. You were simply sick and needed caring for. She has a life and things to do, and some things just can’t be put on pause.
If she was just simply putting it off for lack of not wanting to, then yes, she’s selfish.
But the fact of the matter is, you’re an adult. She doesn’t ever HAVE to do anything for you anymore. You find your own way to do things now and that’s life.
Yes, it’s rather ‘selfish’, but without knowing what plans, can’t really judge her.
This sounds like she just dismissed your pain, which isn’t fair because the only person who knows how you physically feel, is you. Reading through it sounds like a case of the flu, but if anyone ever feels so bad and out of sorts that they believe they need immediate medical attention, then by all means they need to get there asap. Unfortunately she sounds narcissistic and won’t ever see herself as the one in the wrong until she acknowledges the fact that she’s a narcissist. Family counseling perhaps? Good luck!
She has her priorities really screwed up
As you said, this happens with you and normally runs it’s course. Maybe that’s what your mom thought was happening. Either way, call a taxi.
I’m going to be the everyone hates but based on your symptoms of just being sick that morning I wouldn’t have even bothered anyone with a trip to the ER. 
stomach virus is going around.
Was it norovirus? I just had that. My mil went to er via ambulance. I toughed it out
My mother is like this and I know how you feel. There’s no excuse 
Nah just be a big girl … See… U got help… What if she wasn’t there…
Don’t take it to heart. You could get to the hospital, call an Uber. I’ve been puking and dry heaving non stop. Just keep trying to keep water down. You’ll get there.
Only saying this because I’m a nurse. You threw up for 2 hours. That’s no reason to go to the ER. ER is for emergencies.
If someone had called me and wanted to go to the ER after vomiting for 2 hours I doubt I would have dropped my plans to do it. I don’t think you should feel any type of way towards her over this little incident.
Don’t come for me. 
Let her go.
My daughter is 3000 miles from me and 26 years old. When she was in college and i was pregnant her boyfriend called from her phone; they were in the er. It would ha ebeen a out 2 grand for me to fly out on that short notice. It was midnight their time, 9pm my time. I even told her i would be on the first flight out. Mom, i will call you when i know something and we can go from there.
My mother would be like yours. Well, i am so busy. It is such a burden. But if i have to i can sacrifice time for you. But then for the next year never let me forget it. Hey mother, can i take you to lunch? Well, you do owe me for drivingyou to the emergency that one time…
I do not bother to call her. I do everything i can to not deal with my mother. Toxic people are just toxic. It doesn’t matter if it is your motheror not. Dump toxic people
She should have taken you my mom had bone cancer and I was extremely sick with kidney shutting down at that point also even knew my mom was in so much pain from the bone cancer she still took me to the er and stay with me the entire time so i think your mom was being a little bit selfish and I’m sorry you have to deal with that however I would talk to her and let her know how you feel because the day will come will you wish you had talk to her and once they are gone they gone and it harder at that point so just talk to her
I have 1 of those mums. Mine was a broken foot in 3 places. Awesome help mother 
It wasn’t serious enough to interrupt husband at work but moms the asshole? Youre an adult with a belly ache. Get an Uber. If you think it’s life threatening, 911. Idk your mother but in this case she didn’t do anything wrong
My mom was like that. I could tell you story after story about our "relationship” and the way she treated me. She treated her grandchildren the same way. We only had contact when she made the attempt. Now she has mid-late stage Alzheimer’s and only knows who I am sometimes. I’ve forgiven her because I needed to. Although she has no clue the true meaning in her thanking her and forgiving her.
I hope by now you are feeling better, and I am sorry to hear what you went through. The remarks about it being only a stomach virus is unfair as a stomach virus does not always do that, with the pain you were having it easily could have been a ruptured appendix, as that is what happened to me in 2008 and I needed emergency surgery and back then my then husband could not be bothered either. Just let the relationship with your mom go.
Why was she your last go to person? Seems like their maybe some issues between the two of you for whatever reason.
I know if I called my mom she would come asap and same if it were her calling me. When she has covid I stayed with her against everyones objections. She also has asthma and was having some difficulty. I would never of forgiven myself if something happened and i wasnt there.
What do you think is wrong hope it’s nothing serious please keep us posted
I mean…my mother lives 45 minutes away. I wouldn’t expect her to drop what she was doing if I was throwing up. If it was that severe; call an ambulance.
If my daughter called me to take her to the ER, I would drop EVERYTHING to bring her.
If I called my mom to take me to the ER, she would drop EVERYTHING to bring me.
Reading stuff like this breaks my heart. It’s not like you were asking her to take you to the store. You’re asking her to take you to the freaking emergency room. She should have been there for you. You have every right to be hurt. Don’t let anyone make you feel your feelings are invalid. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my mom and thank her. Post like this remind me of how lucky I am to have her. Sending much love your way.
Off topic but if you continue with the vomiting look into cyclic vomiting syndrome.
work is probably the only thing that would keep me from getting a family member to the hospital, I’d leave work if I could, but often, there’s no way to leave- but I’d see to it that family member DID get to the hospital, either way.
Talk to her about your feelings, if she won’t change then stop trying to navigate her and focus on your other family… Maybe your absence will give her time to reflect.
Well vomiting for 2 hrs isn’t an emergency. I’d have told my kiddo to lay down.
Just Throwing up isn’t really life threatening. She probably just didn’t think it was urgent.
Honestly, I’m gonna be an oddball out here.
If this has been a common thing as you stated, you should have been an adult and taken yourself to the doctor before it got to this point. She had her day planned. How is she a bad person because she wasn’t going to drop everything she had planned because you were irresponsible in taking care of yourself? The ER is for emergencies and vomiting is not an emergency. Like yes, moms are supposed to be there for you but if you’re an adult and living on your own, you should be more responsible for yourself.
That would be the very last time I ever asked her for anything! Ever!! I’d lay in the floor and die before I called her. She seems selfish, so let her be selfish. Distance yourself and leave her be.
I have one of those moms. I was in a car accident when I was 18 and i called because I was scare and she told me she couldn’t come She had to pack for vacation. Some random neighbor held me while I cried and shaking from being scare
For many reasons I no longer have a relationship with this women
Lol u seem like a hypochondriac but whatever yeah your mom is “mean” for not indulging you
First of how old are you??? Second…you sound like one of those people who tries to get attention from being “ill” none of the people you tried to call could help you wich let me to believe that you are seeking attention by being “ill”…
I wouldn’t even have bothered to call my mom cuz I got that kind to. She finds out what’s going on in my family on fb, it’s better for my mental health!!
No. You were sick for a couple hours. It would have been different if it was for a couple days or something or at least something a little more threatening than vomiting. You could have called a taxi or an Uber if you really felt the need to go to the ER. No need to make an emergency out of a stomach bug (I’m just assuming it was something like that since you didn’t post a diagnosis or something) The whole thing sounds a little over dramatic to me lol
I fell this winter, hit the only freakin patch of ice in the entire driveway/sidewalk. I did call my husband to tell him. But my first call was to my mom telling her I needed to go to the hospital because I was worried about a fractured knee cap. I am 35 years old, my mom was at a friend’s house. She left and immediately met me at home, drove me and stayed at the ER the entire time. That is what a mother is suppose to do, if it was my daughter calling, I would have been there in a heartbeat.
Sometimes love is excepting that someone you love may not give you the love you want, need, or deserve. You can only control how you love people not how they love you. Realizing this has brought a lot of peace in my life.
I can understand how you felt let down by your mom
From what you have said you tried
Other options before your mom
I’m so glad your co-worker was able to take you to the ED
Hope they got to the cause of the problem and you are ok now
No matter my children’s age, I will drop what I’m doing to take them to the ER!
You can’t change her. You probably should just accept that she is that way and never depend on her for anything again…
It’s sad but she is who she is…
So you expected everyone to just drop everything to cater to you? 
While I totally understand your feelings I also get your mom bc your were just sick and their was no reason to go to the er over a stomach bug! But as a mother I definitely would have dropped everything to go take my daughter medication fluids ect. But explained to her unless it continued for more then 2 days and medications didn’t help it was a waist of time and money to go to the hospital for somthing you can treat at home!
Next time order Dramamine, pedialyte, crackers, and soup to be delivered to your door!
I honestly wouldn’t typically take my kids to the ER if they were vomiting.
Vomiting isn’t a reason togo to the Emergency room. When my 18 month old had uncontrollable siezures back to back thats an emergency.
Suck on some ice chips and get a little in yah at a time. And as far as mom are you a frequent flyer or a woe is mee kinda person because I wouldn’t have called all those people over that. I mean you did say this is an on going issue.
Honestly I wouldn’t have taken my kid to the emergency room, for vomiting for 2 hours.
Wow ! My mother would have dropped everything and came to my rescue no matter what time or place or situation. My mother done everything for me. I had the absolute best mother ever. Sorry you had to go through that
Being this is ongoing for you. Do you have to go to your regular doctor to actually get any real help. The emergency room is there just to keep you alive. So if it’s not an actual life-threatening element. Then they send you right back home. And you have to follow up with your doctor.
So I kind of understand why your mom didn’t see this as an emergency situation. I could understand if it was going on for several days. And not just 2 hours
My mom would drop everything to bring me. Your mom stinks. Your children should always be a first priority.
I’m a colon cancer survivor. I’m going to say you have 1. Pancreatitis
2. H. Pylori
3. E. Coli
Has your mom always been that way?
You should’ve call your husband’s job and got a hold of him. Sounds like you need to see an GI Doctor if this is on going.
The ER is for life and death or loss of limb emergencies not care for your chronic condition. Two hours of vomiting is not going to dehydrate you. I’ve had the stomach bug since Weds night and have been puking up everything guess what still haven’t went to the er instead I keep pushing fluids. If this is something that happens often like you said then you should have been a big girl and went to see your Dr before it happened again. You are an adult it is no longer your mom’s job to drop everything to take care of you especially when it is not something urgent.
I’m sorry. If it’s not the first sign of her behaviour then I doubt it will change.
ER = emergency room. At best you could go to urgent care. BUT before you go realize you’re getting exposed to EVERYTHING there. Wait 24 hours before going in. Your mom might know that as well. Talk to her about it. If you can’t, family therapy!!
Stop asking for help!!!
She clearly doesn’t care ,and she refusing to help you constantly is only causing pain on you .
I’m so sorry!!!!!!
I have a family member that would go to the ER every day if I would take her. Idk the story from your moms point of view… Running to the ER for everything is a huge pet peeve of mine…
The nurse recommended her to go to the er… your mum is selfish… treat her the same
I get this way ongoing and it lasts me 2-3 weeks where I can’t eat or keep fluids down. I had to see a gastro specialist who put me on medication that I take every morning now. It has decreased the amount of time of me getting sick while I am taking medication. The moment I stop taking medication im back to being sick for that long not keeping anything down at all. See ur doctor since its ongoing like that
I mean you’re a grown woman. I would have driven myself honestly but if you absolutely couldn’t (but you could make a ton of calls) I would have just called an uber. You would go to urgent care, not the ER. I am the type of person though that goes out of my way not to ask anyone for anything, to a fault really. On the other hand I would be there in a second if my child needed me. Curious what your diagnosis was. Talk to her. 
My child could be a grown adult. Kids of their own.
A whole country away, I don’t care. I would do whatever I had to just to be there.
My 3 kids have been switching off this amazing stomach bug for the past week. I haven’t taken anyone to the hospital or doctor. 
I am so sorry!! I hope you are feeling better!!
You’re an adult. Grow up, take your mum’s boob out of your mouth & take yourself to the bloody Drs. 
Some of these answers are absolutely disgusting. If my son ever called me and was so sick and asking for a trip to the hospital or anywhere or even just needed me to come and help him, I’m dropping EVERYTHING immediately and going to him! “Be a big girl” “call a taxi”, I hope yall dont actually treat your children like this. This is horrible. I’m so sorry your mom did this to you! I’d honestly let her know that I’m gonna be distancing myself because I feel as if she doesnt care and I’d just make conversation every once in a while. I just can not imagine a mother ignoring her child’s call for help. Regardless of how often this may happen to you. A mother is supposed to be the 1 person a kid (GROWN OR NOT) can count on! Again, I’m so sorry this happened and I hope you feel better soon!
How old is she? Elderly parents can’t just run on a whim for everything…
This sounds so familiar… I have no advice unfortunately but I’m so so sorry❤
My mom did the exact same thing to me when I was 18. I had a sore throat that had started on a Friday and progressively got worse. On Sunday it was swollen to the point I was struggling to breathe. So I asked my mom to take me to the er. She told me I was exaggerating and didn’t need to be wasting money like that. I took myself. I knew I needed help and it’s a good thing I did. When I was seen the doc told me that I had an abscess that needed removed yesterday. I was scheduled for emergency surgery. I’m 33 now and she would still pull the same shit today.
I’m sorry that is horrible 
it sucks being dehydrated and puking everything up I’ve had to go to the hospital for ivs a few times and you feel like your going to die. If your mom couldn’t even try to bring you that’s messed up!
Noting that everyone is not the same - Personally, I have driven myself to the ER damn near death so I know I can make it to the ER throwing up in a bag with no problems. But what one can do, others may not. So I don’t fault you for not driving yourself. You used your options. Your friends / family pulled through for you. Your mom, not so much. If you have a flair for the dramatics she’s ignoring you. She could also be a CUNextTuesday. Only you know. If this is a repeat with your mom, cut her off.
I’m so sorry she acted that way hope you feel better soon what did the hospital tell you
It’s depends on what your mom had to do. Parents have their own lives and problems that we know nothing about. It’s unknown what she had to do and given that you’re married, she might of thought that what she had to do couldn’t wait but that your husband could take care of you.
I need a little back story are you someone who runs to the dr every time you are sick. Also are you a sympathy hound if not it would tell my mom my prognosis and let her know how you feel .i know of a mom who is very ill getting treatments but she had not told the kids but if they kids knew maybe things would be different
If she can’t love you enough to take you the ER being that sick.i wouldn’t bother with her.you could have died an she don’t have time for you.how sad.im sorry she treats you’re your not worth her time.prayers for you
So what did the ER do for you? Unless it’s life or death, they usually just treat the symptoms, tell you to see a doctor, and send you home. Your mother probably knew this and felt like you’d be wasting your time. If you thought you were that bad off why didn’t you call 911 and go in an ambulance? What’s done is done. Don’t stay mad at your mother. Schedule the medical appointments you need and get to the bottom of what’s making you sick.
I mean, your mom did something right if this is the only complaint you have. You’re now a grown adult, with a whole family, and have enough time to write on an open forum about her not driving you. Lol.
Must not have many other issues going on.
So mom did something right, somewhere, if you’re this sheltered.
Being sick sucks, no doubt. But if people are busy, they’re busy, you weren’t dying. Lay off her.
Everything is good now right? Lol.
I don’t know why people are so bent out of shape when people are Honest.
Being Honest isn’t Bad.
I.e a difference between an Er & urgent care. Lol.
Chill.
None of us know what the Mom was doing. Maybe she was super tied up. We’re only human.
If the OP had other rides lined up, she wasn’t in danger. Mom could have known that. 
Op could just be wanting to just project anger for not getting their way.
Maybe it’s just because I’m an independent person, and never ask for help, but I can see why she didn’t jump after you vomiting for 2 hours. I recently had that violent stomach bug and I threw up over 20 times in 24 hours because I kept trying to get fluids in me and had the most severe diarrhea I couldn’t keep anything in me. I ended up extremely dehydrated, and my fiancé had to stay with my kids, so I drove myself I hadn’t even peed that day, I was so pale and lightheaded I could barely stand, but my mom was in the middle of her work shift 45 minutes away, so I toughened up and got myself to the er and practically crawled in the doors. If it was a true medical emergency I could see this reaction, but not everyone can drop what they’re doing because someone is vomiting.
I feel like if this is a “normal” thing for you then you should’ve just driven yourself
Unfortunately, there are some “moms” that really aren’t
MOMS.
You could tell her that your feelings were really hurt.
I suspect that won’t change who she is though.
Sometimes we have to accept that our mothers will not meet even the most minimum of our expectations.
Your mom is who she probably always will be.
You can’t do anything about her decision. I had to drive my own self to the hospital with 4 children while I was bleeding to death after a placenta abruption where my baby died and I almost died because I had no one. My mom has dementia and lives in a nursing home. My dad died when I was 11. I don’t talk to my siblings nor do they live near me anyway. My SO was at work and couldn’t get off. I was dizzy and in pain and bleeding to death and I drove myself and my children to the ER. I just wouldn’t keep my mind on it. I was upset my SO wouldn’t just leave work but know we can’t afford for him to lose his job either. So I did what I had to do. And because I wouldn’t stop bleeding I wore no pants and had a towel wrapped around my waist.
My mom has done this kind of thing to me many times. My first child was 10 months old & one side of his face started to swell really fast. I had no car & my mom lived a few minutes away. She was going out to eat with my sister & her boyfriend & told me no. My son was in the hospital 10 days with not one phone call. When I was in labor with my second child on Halloween night I went into hard labor very fast. I begged her to come get my son, to help me. She flat out refused, she had company. My sister’s & their kids. My son had to go with me to the hospital & thank God for my aunt & uncle coming. My daughter was born within a few minutes of getting to the hospital & my husband missed it because he had to stay with my friend. That’s just two times. It was years of not speaking to her. We finally started speaking about 15 years ago but we will never be close.
I am so sorry you have been feeling sick lately. And I’m so sorry your mom is being so selfish. Sounds like something my sister would do. When I gave birth to my second son, my sister couldn’t come to the hospital to be with me and meet my son because she was cleaning out her garage! 
(my mom and dad had passed away prior & I only have 1 sister 
). I guess some people don’t know what it is to love others because they are so self-absorbed…
You probably can not change her since you say she has a pattern of this type behavior.Just know you can not count on her and just depend on those you trust
I’m sorry you had to go to the ER but honestly I understand your mom you see I have a adult son he’s 20 and he knows that if he has to go somewhere and I’m not available he can call a ambulance or an Uber I understand you because you want your mom to always be available for any emergency but in all honesty as a mother we raised you to be independent we also have our own problems and life I don’t understand your moms situation but what did she have to do that was more important than take you to the ER
You said she was your last choice. There is a reason for that.
Also, if your mom has other health problems, is elderly or doesn’t have health insurance she could be concerned for her health and didn’t want to be exposed to any possible viruses especially the way things have been the past 2 years.
Girl my mom is the same way ! Guess what finally from her being like that that for years I finally told her out and I got away from her it’s the best thing ever , I don’t have to really be around her much
She is a Mother but not a Mom. She will never be the loving Mom you want. You have other people in your life that love you. Don’t dwell on what you don’t have. Look at what you do. For her, maybe that is the best she can do. Be happy that you are not like that.
Going to be frank. I have 4 boys, 3 of them adults. And 9 grandchildren. With us older generations, 2 hours of puking would not constitute an ER visit. Not even most of the day. Running to the ER for minor problems results in the long waits you see in them, and delays care for those truly with a medical emergency. Not to mention leads to overworked nursing staff, and puts you at risk of picking up something worse. Your mother probably knows all this logic, and your post seems a bit dramatic with you upset she couldn’t drop everything and come, so I’m going to guess she knows her child well. Small sips of hydration fluids, the BRAT diet, and some anti nausea meds with rest. If after 24 hours you are still dry heaving and unable to hold anything down then that would warrant an ER visit. I promise you your body will not dehydrate after only a few hours. It’s your bodies natural response to something. Don’t be so hard on her. She may be dealing with things you know nothing about an you could unintentionally make her feel guilty for taking care of herself. As an adult, this was not a medical emergency, and you’re capable of handling the situation without guilting your mother. Don’t jump to the conclusion that she just didn’t care. Us moms with adult children deal with more than you know, and she may have her own health issues she’s dealing with.