if you’re gonna leave make sure you leave the kids with him because he sounds like the less selfish, better parent. Love is not an all consuming feeling it’s a choice you make to continue to be committed to the person you are with. That all consuming feeling you get in the beginning is suppose to go away over time. If you leave chasing it down you will regret it because you already have a good man you won’t find that twice. Stop being selfish is look inside yourself because you are the problem.
Talk abt it tell each other how u feel
And start over , go on lunch dates n talk abt every thing do little romantic things n maybe it will help
I can relate been with my so for 8 yr communication is key talk express it took me 3 years into almost 4 to realize my lack of communication was what caused us to have our issues. I’m not good with voicing my feeling or emotions I always bottled it up. But now we have deep conversations. My GOLD RULE IS THIS every 2 weeks make a date night where ita a nice walk in the trails or a restaurant. And remember WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE
Marriage gets comfortable and it takes a lot of work to make it the “fairytale” and epic love we all desire. I do not agree staying for the kids but I do question when you say you do not love him. I believe that you probably do have feelings for him but maybe they are lost due to life itself. Before you call it quits, try date nights, mini get aways that focus on you and him only. Do things together that you enjoy. Don’t over complicate it… Maybe try to talk about the bedroom and add spice to your intimacy. Try and rekindle what you had once upon a time. It will take both to make this work but communication is the key. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and have 3 children. 2 are older and then a 9 year old. She was our surprise. I was 19 when we got married and he was older. I grew up and we went through a lot. I never spoke up about anything. I kept all my feelings locked inside. It took us literally nearly 14 years or so to get where we are now. It took major changes in our lives, but we survived survived I cannot imagine life without him now. Now, I say whatever I need to say… I was you, years ago… seeking the same thing. I am not Cinderella, but I realized that I had what I wanted all along… it just wasn’t in the form as I expected. It is not perfect by far and we still have issues but we talk now. So my advice is do not stay for kids or because you feel guilty or sorry for him. You deserve to be happy as you only get one life to live. Kids are resilient and will adapt to whatever changes need to be made… But to have no regrets, try to work at it before you make the life changing decisions. Hugs!
A good man is so hard to find and if he has everything that you would ever wanted or ask for try to have dates without the kids romantic dates just anything to see if there is the smallest spartk still to see if anything would rekindle cause I’m gonna tell you you may get out here and end up with someone that mistreats you and is not good to you and your kids . I say give it your all and if there is still nothing after you have given it your all I say leave and let him how the chance to find someone to love him asuch as he can give love to them …it’s only fair but like I said a good man is hard to find .
It’s called for better or worse remember that sex is not everything if u have a good man then u no what to do
I suggest you start dating him again. Like you just met. Take things slow and try to reconnect the feelings you lost. Life isn’t perfect and it doesn’t always go as we want it to.
Start dating again. Find ways to put the spark back in… communicate with him and encourage him to communicate with you. Don’t ruin a good thing just because the passion is missing at the moment…
Maybe you would find that passion elsewhere but it would only last for so long. Marriage takes work every day.
You need to stay and work this out. My guess is…if you break your family up in hopes of finding something better, you’ll soon learn the grass isn’t always greener. You seem to have a good man and you’ve committed yourself to see it through. That said, he needs to get some help on that cutting issue.
This sounds just like the Netflix show Sex Life.
Lady, get your shit together. If you don’t love him then leave so he can find a woman who deserves him. You have no idea what its like to be in abusive relationship after abusive relationship, is that what you want? Sounds dumb to me.
I’d soooo rather have a “bland” marriage than a toxic one.
There is no wrong reason she great man great father what more does she want he had a problem n now she wants to go that’s bull shit open yur eyes before someone else has what u don’t want anymore yur r selfies
Please don’t take this as ugly but it sounds like a you problem.
Do you love yourself? It’s true you really cannot love another if you don’t love yourself.
Mind, body and soul work hand in hand.
Mind: Choose one thing you like about your husband and notice it everytime he comes in the same room as you. Compliment him on it even and your mind will change.
Body: you said you need sex… Try something new, role play, try different positions. What are you hoping for in a new relationship and express those sexual desires to your husband for him to play out with you.
Soul: soul search!! You have an issue that you are reminded of when he is there. Fix it before you regret it. Maybe try reading, meditation, church, praying, whatever you do.
Lastly, change your attitude! Try saying you DO love your husband. STOP saying you do not love him or that’s where your mind will stay. I’d recommend reading the 5 love languages. Take the test and figure out what fills your love tank. Have your husband take it also and be intentional about filling his.
I feel every bit of this sadly, there are too many factors that make this such a tough decision
I don’t know how old you are but sometimes age/hormones affect passion
You asked for advise so here goes.
Think back to when you was just dating. There had to be some sort of passion, so think back to that day and what you two said or did that made you want to spend the rest of your lifes together.
Go on dates and remaneise about all of the good and the bad and try to figure out when and why your sex life started going downhill. We all know that it takes two people to on a marriage.
I still think that communication is the best thing ever to start with.
I have had a lot of up and downs in my marriage believe me and I don’t know how many times I almost called it quits but then I remembered that I got married for better or worse until death do us part and not to run or quit when it gets worse.
To stay and find away to make it work.
My parents have been married for 30 years this passed April. She always told me I’m marriage you will fall in and out of your love with your partner, there will be weeks when your so madly in love and obsessed with each other, and there will be times you hate each other, and other times you’ll be wondering why you ever married him. Then suddenly, if you stick around long enough, you’ll fall back in love. I can remember thinking the same thing as you when I was younger, I didn’t want a marriage that fell out of love, I wanted a love where we were obsessed with each other. Now I’m 5 years into this with my husband, 3 kids into it, a home, a business, etc. my mom is 100% right. We will have weeks where we feel like teenagers in love and obsessed with each other, other times we’re kind of just like friends/partners, and sometimes we feel like punching each other in the face because the other person is so annoying (we don’t hit each other but sometimes we are so annoying lol), stick it out for a while girl…. You will eventually fall in love with each other again, and in 20 years you’ll be glad you all made it.
Passion … does that exist in marriage? It can never be explosive all the time. I think you are confusing real love with good sex. This man loves you or he wouldn’t be so good to you. You will find out no relationship keeps the fiery passion you crave.
I think you have fallen out of love with him and he can’t ever live up to your expectations.
Sounds like he is your best friend not your lover. Good luck!
a good marriage takes some work, keep going, get into a church where families help each other, stay strong, PRAY God has a hand on this decision. Prayers and love from me in ky
Marriage is work. It’s not always going to be that madly in love obsessed fairytale thing. If the only problem was in the bedroom and he got it fixed…. What’s the issue? Is it really that or is it that now you feel you got married too young and want your youth back? Good men are so hard to come by. Before you leave, try to do things to spice it up. Like you said, the issue is fixed. So trying falling in love again. Speak to him about role play or toys or just date nights without the kids. No matter who you’re with, at some point it’s going to get comfortable again. And you’ll be out looking for another fairytale.
He deserves better than you. The grass is only greener on the other side because 1.) It’s well taken care of or 2.) Its full of crap
So, what’s the other guys name?
This feels exactly like the plot line on the Netflix show called sex life
No one should have to stay in a marriage they aren’t happy with. If you’re unhappy, tell him. Y’all can figure something out to where he still sees the kids all the time. Give him 50/50 and alternate weeks so you have the kids one week and he has them the next. Let him pick the kids up from school or come over during your week so he can still see them if he wants to or go out and do things together with the kids once a week.
Whatever you choose to do, do it out of love not fear.
Something attracted you to him to start with, or you wouldn’t be married to him now. Perhaps if you look for what started it all and try to start “dating” again, your interest in him will be renewed.
You should not just leave an otherwise good marriage over this. It is fixable. You deserve better than leaving-your husband does-and your kids especially do.
Try to see things from his perspective and work it out. Find creative ways to date him again. Marriage is not all about sex. Not all marriages are 50 Shades, some are When Harry Met Sally, and honestly, those are the best ones. You have a gift that you are about to throw away with both hands—don’t do it. Stay and work on it.
I say leave…it os not the kind of marriage you want your kids to have…show them y’all can still co-parent and still be friends. Staying together for the kids sake isn’t healthy for any of y’all…but don’t do it just to find someone new…you will be disappointed. That is not a good reason to leave by itself…i wish you the best
Now it’s time to fix your problems not just his
Poor guy. He loves you dearly, but you’re just into sex. Shameful. I’m sure he feels bad enough about it as is.
You dont love him so leave. He deserves to be with someone that loves him just as you deserve to be with someone that you “feel passion” for.
Looks like your giving up because the spark is gone….which happens over and over again in marriage. You want newness…go get some toys for y’all to play with together. Spark it you yourself. You’re going to throw away a good man, for boys who will leave you heartbroken. Good luck.
Try again!! Having a partner that you don’t argue with is like magic!! There are books that help you fall back in love. I take libido vitamins with a handful of other vitamins and that also helps!!
I’ll do you a favor let me take that man out of your life for ya problem solved lmao.
Try dating again. Cut out time once a week/every other week that just the two of you do something. Anything. See if there is a possibility at reigniting that flame.
We say , love who love you.!
Marriages have seasons. Truly.
Before walking out, bc you can’t take that back…
Try counseling. I mean REALLY try. Couples therapy, sex therapy… All of it. May sound long but if within a year, you don’t feel differently, by all means, go.
If you walk and don’t try, you’ll regret it.
Marriage is work. You need to make your marriage the priority. Ppl get mad at me but your marriage is the foundation your children walk on. If it’s busted, they can fall too.
Also, see about have your hormone and vitamin levels checked. You’d be amazed at how being off can change emotions.
Good luck
Sounds like you guys need a trip away for a weekend or a week??? Book a baby sitter and plan a trip away maybe some time away the two of you will help??? My husband and I just went through a rough patch where some of this hit home… we have been together 7 years next month a trip away the two of us did us good helped us reconnect
People outgrow one another.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’ll be green where you water it.
How long have you felt this way? Marriages would definitely have their low points. Only you can answer this question. Becoming a single parent is extremely stressful. Whatever you do, take your time and really think it out
I believe I would try .he sounds great. But u should be happy. Know he does .u may be sorry .prayers and hope u both the best
Maybe you need to be checked by a doctor now … men and woman have different sex drive time lines … you were able to wait on his to get fix now maybe you need to fix yours they do have vigara out for woman as well as men and as many people have already stated you maybe having hormone issues … dont throw away your marriage just because your not feeling it right now it may hurt you in the long run
Try the fire proof method ! I’ve heard it really works. You’ll start seeing him in the light of day as you used too. And not just for your kids but yourself!
Try fun stuff with him the grass is not greener on the other side you might find someone who you would have great spark but they might suck at other things .sound like you have a good partner try new things explore .get away with him a few days .
You don’t have to be in love if you love him there’s always a chance to rekindle your passion which could make you fall in love again. You said he was a good man they don’t come easy I only know one and he’s been mine for 26 years. No relationship is going to be perfect there will always be at least one discrepancy in every relationship. The key is to work on that one problem at a time. You said he fixed the only problem you were having, have you tried sex therapy. Most women won’t stay in a relationship where there not satisfied sexually. If you two could come up with new and exciting ways to rekindle your sex life there’s a chance you could fall back in love. Don’t just give up if that’s the only reason you have marriage is hard work and couples fall in and out of love all the time. You have to take the crooked with the straights and fight for it. Only you know the whole story of why your not in love to me it seems if y’all have three kids it must of been good at one point or your leaving something out. Are YOU willing to try to make it work since he fixed his issues or have you already stepped out and that’s why you don’t want to take the opportunity to make it work. If you don’t at least still love him let him go there’s someone out there who will appreciate a good man and it’s not fair to him if your just postponing what you know is inevitable.
They have a lot of sex things out there you can help yourself and keep your marriage so wake up and smell the coffee stupid
Honestly marriage is work. Staying In love with someone is work. Like real work. I would try getting some one on one time. Maybe date night or try to get away for a couple days just the two of you. You loved him before🤷 I’mma tell ya I had the passion you talk about and he ended up being my psycho crazy stalker in the end. He tried to control me an kept me away from friends and family. I’d rather have a true friend as a partner than psycho who can’t stand to be away from me for 5 seconds
My opinion is different than most. I think the children should come first.
It’s very hard when your not happy believe me I was in your situation and I left now that I am older and I look back 17 years ago divorced at I realized alot of the thing we were going back and with were silly and I would not even be upset about now.
Marriage isn’t easy. It isn’t sunshine and rainbows 24/7 like it’s made to seem when you’re young. You have to wake up, everyday, and CHOOSE to love your spouse. Even on the days when they’re really unlovable. & they have to do the same for you.
I feel like you made up your mind a long time ago & stop putting in effort. Which, is your prerogative, to each their own.
If you’re not happy, and don’t want to try anymore, leave.
You’re not doing anyone in the situation any favors by prolonging the inevitable.
Marriage is work. Relationships are work.
You describe him as being a great parent and partner, and you describe yourself as someone who wants sex with someone new.
Don’t use your kids as a crutch for your decisions.
If yall have went to counseling, and you don’t think it works, maybe try going to church.
If you aren’t investing in yall, and just the kids are being invested in, you should try to date again.
Men and women have pride, it is a number one relationship killer. You talk about him being embarrassed for him have difficulty, but then say he finally got it dealt with. I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say he did it after counseling, and hearing how much it ment to you.
Youre going to love who and what you invest in.
Try new things in the bedroom.
If that doesn’t work, then go find you some guy that only wants to screw.
Let your husband find someone who actually chooses to love him… everyday.
if you don’t want him ill have him lol
How would u feel if he was with someone else and u ended up in a shitty relationship because you were looking for that impossible relationship.
You can’t stay in a relationship just for the kids, that’s not fair to anyone. The kids will eventually, if they don’t already, be able to see that you’re not happy. It’s better to be apart and be happy then be together and be miserable.
Grow up, marriage is much more and family is everything
I think you may need antidepressants, and probably a personal therapist, those things helped me to become independent and thrive as a single woman and they helped me through my own transition. I’m just saying it was great to be able to bounce my life issues off someone who couldn’t judge me. I’m not judging you. But I went through this with my ex I was 18 and he was 43 when we got together, time went by and he had bedroom issues. And it kept going on and we were happy but not in love the passion was gone we were just going through the motions of love and life until it ended after 18 years together I do not regret my decision at all of leaving. I have been away from him for almost 4 years now and I have met a wonderful man much closer to my age, he is so different from my past relationship its unreal. Very into passion, and touching and holding and talking and just genuinely into everything I didnt have for so long. Sometimes i think what the fuck am i doing, or is this real? I cant believe someone actually wants me and desires me and his children love me. I would however ask you to try everything with your husband because I do know that life isnt always about passion and that deep connection it’s about getting along and being able to deal with the other person as well as coexisting together. Not every man out there will want what you want or need what you need. I had looked far and wide for the man I’m with now and just know that it was not easy I found every other type of man out there, the drug addict, the user, the hitter, the I only want sex, the I dont touch it, I only stick it guy, the I only want you money guy, the controller, the jealous guy, the send me pictures guys it was not easy. Then I found the single father raising 4 kids who only wanted an adult conversation guy. He turned out to be my guy. And trust me it wasnt easy either, lots of arguments at first trying to adapt to someone else’s life style and bad habits. But eventually it all smoothed out and we haven’t even argued in over 2 years. He wasnt without his painful past and nor was I, we still both struggle with fear from our past. But again I do not regret my choices I’m happier now then I have been in a very long time. Best of luck to you.
Try God he can rebuild your marriage
There isn’t a single relationship that doesn’t have low points, and no one stays constantly deeply madly in love with someone and obsessed with their partner unless there’s something else going on, like unchecked borderline personality disorder and before anyone comes for me, I have it myself. But even then you’re likely to split on them at some point and absolutely hate their guts.
Relationships take work, all the time, from both sides. It sounds like you have given up on trying when he began trying to get his problem fixed. Do what you do, but give any relationship about 6 months to a year and you’re going to be sorely disappointed if you expect there to be non stop obsessive love for 50 years.
Your never going to be “madly in love” or “passionate” all the time. That’s a fairytale. Marriage is all about finding a best friend, someone you can trust to get through every life battle with together!! Watch yourself! You trust him and he’s boring. Leave him find someone your “passionate” with and then boom find out you have cancer… little passionate boy is gone in the wind and your best friend… you will wish you had that kind of trustworthy stability in your life. My advice… take a trip just you and him and spice it up. It’s actually a lot of fun trying new things with someone you 100% trust!
Consuming love is so short lived, no matter who it’s with. I absolutely adore my husband but it isn’t the same from when we first got together. The date nights and romantic texts have turned into lounging on the couch after the kids go to bed and “while you’re at the grocery store…”. It’s even better now though. My advice would be to carve out some time together. Good men aren’t easy to find. Love isn’t a feeling, it’s actions and work and being there for your spouse, helping him and supporting him. Spend time with him, show him you appreciate him being a good man, make an effort to really notice the things that he does for you and your kids. Be open about things you want him to do or try to spice things up but respect his boundaries too.
LOVE is not just a feeling. feelings come and go.
I don’t have any advice because I’m literally in the same boat. I have barely said 5 words to my boyfriend for 3 days because I just have nothing to say to him. I just feel so…meh towards him. I’ve considered leaving multiple times in the past year but it hurts my heart to think about taking my daughter away from her daddy. She barely sees him now as it is with his work schedule and she loves the shit out of him. Sending love and hugs
Since you really aren’t happy and don’t love him, you should get a divorce. You said your self that he’s a good man. He deserves to find happiness with someone who loves him. Trust me, he won’t stay single for long. See what’s going to happen is you’re gonna have some fun then you’re going to realize that being single isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Make sure you keep this same “I don’t love him” energy when he’s happy in another relationship and you’re lonely.
This is so relatable. Just opposite… My ex husband fell out of love with me while I was still deeply in love with him… he chose to leave… Did it hurt… More than anything… But we are the best of friends now and great coparents now. He found someone he loves more and I accepted that… Sometimes you just have to go thru hurt… you have to choose your own happiness… Don’t use the kiddos as an excuse to stay somewhere you’re not fully happy… The kids will be fine as long as you two can coparent and show them that no matter what… you both still love them… Choose You…
Im going threw that same thing. Im not happy but im waiting on my youngest to hit 10 an thiss momma is gone frfr the sex sucks. He gets his im left to go to the bathroom to get the shit done myself.
The “Love” you are describing is actually infatuation. There is absolutely no way that will ever last and you will never be satisfied. Love is more than a feeling. It is a choice you make every day. Relationships go through things like this. If you tried counseling and it didn’t help, find someone else. If intimacy is the issue find someone who specializes in intimacy. You are trying to take the easy way out by leaving, and your children could suffer for it. Love takes real work.
It sounds to me like he needs to kick your behind to the curb. He deserves a much better partner, who would be more supportive of him and whatever he’s going through. If anything, he should divorce you, get full custody of the kids, find a woman who will love and respect him for the man he is-not expect him to be perfect-and marry her.
Maybe only when you lose him will you realize how truly blessed you really are. Sounds like you’ve got a great man. Why be stupid and throw him away?!
This all consuming passion you are talking about is a farce. That’s called “puppy love” and it usually always fades into a comfortable “boring” love. It sounds like you are sexually driven and as soon as he got his sex problem fixed you decide it’s too late and you don’t want him because you don’t feel like a teenager in love. That’s not fair to him and I do suggest you leave so he can find someone who will really love him for the great man and father he is, rather than his penis. Men can absolutely be sexually objectified and that seems to be the case here, “he’s a great man everywhere else BUT the bedroom, so I’m leaving.”
Marriage is not easy. Marriage is family and much more then passion. Just like they the honey moon phase goes away that is 100% true. No one stays at that point forever. Your looking for a fairytale and those and not real life. You can leave and end up with someone who doesn’t help us a terrible step dad and abuses u just for passion that seems like you being toxic to you self and that’s not good. Maybe you should seek counseling for your self and help your self and not the marriage. You have to love your self before you can truly love someone else. It seems like the issues are more dee down with you then your marriage. Also for you to say your stopped loving someone bc of bed room issues not getting fixed in your timely manner is toxic too just as him cutting him self to make u stay. So it’s harsh of you to call him out of that issues but your having your issues too. You really need to get your self love back and then you can work on your marriage. But just know u leave him and someone else will 100% be truly lucky to have someone that great and you will be stuck wondering why u made that decision when u realize there is nothing more sexy then a man that is a great father a great man and a helper around the house. Most men don’t do that and most men are self centered.
Don’t wait, it’s easier on kids when they are young, and having an unhappy mum isn’t healthy either.
You can’t help how you feel, to stay and fake it wouldn’t be fair to anyone.
Ok here is the honest truth , marriage is WORK! Loving someone is a choice , a conscious choice you choose every single day. Once kids come ,the passion is something you have to make a choice to keep going otherwise you become roommates with kids. There will be days , weeks hell maybe even months and years you won’t like your spouse because of whatever reason you may still love them but you won’t like them and guess what ? They will have the same reaction to you. That is completely normal! I think if you sit down have the hard talk you will find he probably feels the same way about you also . You have to make time to keep dating each other , keep courting each other . (I know sounds old fashioned) but it’s the truth. No relationship is passion and lust 24 seven after the first few years . It takes hard work to get that and keep it. If you haven’t put in the work, don’t expect the best results and that goes for both partners. So realize that whether with the partner you have now or the one your looking for the results will be the same if you don’t work at it.
You need to try to find the “spark “ that you guys had in the beginning. Go on a date or play some sex cards ? If he’s such a good dad and friend then your half way there .
Plan a nice vacation just the two of you ,a getaway might help you ,passion fades over the. Years ,it sounds like you have a pretty good life and marriage,enjoy your life and be thankful you have a good partner
Girl… smh… You have a completely wrong understanding of love. True love isn’t obsession and passion. Get over yourself and stay with your husband who treats you well. That is not a good enough excuse to leave and break up your family.
Kind of sounds like you want a fling. You basically said everything else is good except for the sex. Tell him what you want in the bedroom. Tell him you want that hot, passionate sex. I think you guys should try and find a babysitter for a night. Rent a hotel. And do some role playing. Meet at the bar of the hotel and act like you two have never met. Spice things up, try and try for that passionate sex that I think could be there if you tried a little longer to keep the relationship alive. Sounds like you just want someone to grab you and push you up against the wall and so on… like a movie. You may be able to find that somewhere but that lust will only last for so long. Think about how long you two have been together, how well you guys knows each other, how well you guys work together. If you go and try to find someone else, you may find that passion you’re looking for but it won’t be love. It won’t be what you have with your husband. Please, don’t give up yet.
Send him my way too many that don’t do what he does
Sounds like you need to grow up.
Better yet. Gimme his # my best friend needs a good man and she loves kids. Then you can learn what most dudes are like now days and you’ll come crawling back to him.
Sounds like you need to sit down and have a talk with him. Yall need to start back at square 1 with dating. You’re still young and dating can still be fun. Spontaneous trips somewhere, make 1 day a week specially for date night where you go out to a different restaurant you haven’t tried before or a favorite restaurant. Get out and laugh with him, get a babysitter for you guys to just lounge around at home and talk. Give it a little bit and try to fall in love again. It seems you have a good man, they’re hard to find these days. But don’t make yourself miserable with it either.
Counseling could help. It would be worth a try.
What your describing that you want doesn’t exist. In the beginning of relationships it’s what you are describing. But as time goes by it evolves into a deeper connection. Every single long term relationship has its ups and downs, it isn’t like the movies where you are madly and passionately in love and all over eachother all the time. Marriage and long term relationships take work. So unless you just want to jump from relationship to relationship trying to keep that feeling / rush you get when you are in a new partnership you will be disappointed with whomever you end up with.
Happiness comes from within. You can’t expect someone else to make you happy. Fix it, work harder. Enjoy the little things, focus on your spouse and your marriage. Think about good things about him and what you love about him. Go out on dates and try to re spark your love life.
You know what they say… You don’t realize what ya got until it’s gone… Sounds to me like maybe you guys need to start making some date nights… Have fun together again… Etc… Get professional help if you need to… But I am no expert at anything… But I think your in a rut… And your going to regret leaving… Once you realize what you had. Don’t leap before you look… The grass is not always greener on the other side.
I been there myself. I was with my ex fiance for 15 years from 13 years old. Basically you grow apart. You become more friends than lovers in my opinion I don’t think people should get married until 30 so you actually get to experience life’s ups and downs and are still young enough to have fun and build a life together.
I’ve been in your husband’s place. He deserves someone who will love him so please leave. It’ll be hard for him at first, I wanted to die (my relationship was 10 years), but he’ll move on eventually and find happiness. If he’s a great man he deserves that. Don’t stay for the kids, everyone says that. I come from parents who did that and it would have been better for them to parent separately. You can try counseling but if your feelings just aren’t there, even though he tries, then there isn’t much left because, you can’t control how you feel. I found my soulmate a year after my 10 year relationship ended. I wasn’t looking for anything. I was so bitter that I had trust issues, but, we’ve worked through them. My husband was hurt the same from his last marriage so we were able to understand each other. I’ve never been happier.
That’s not love your describing. That’s lust, and your husband should kick you to the curb. You seem so ungrateful. Your never going to be happy. Might as well just bone everyday a new person so that you’ll get that lust feeling all the time…
Marriage is very hard! Sounds like your husband is a great man and you’re going through the same things other marriages go through. It would be stupid to leave him because you want the “new sex” feeling. You’re bored, find a way to spice up your sex life with your husband. Family is everything and if you have 3 kids with him then you obviously wanted him at one time. You can make it work if you try, but you both have to try. This is something you need to tell him and see how he reacts, maybe he will put forth more effort. Either way, it would be stupid to tear your family apart for “passion” because you’re bored with the man you married.
People in this group are rude and they only post people asking for advice if it starts drama in this community. I’d look for advice elsewhere and take all of this with a grain of salt. Half these ppl are miserable bags anyways.
Yikes! Sounds like your brain is still 18. I’m sorry. Marriage is not like the movie The Notebook or a RomCom. You’re looking for that high that you get from the beginning stages of a relationship. Unfortunately this stage fades. Both of you have to keep working to keep the fire burning and continue dating each other till you’re gray.
If that is your understanding about relationships/marriage you’re just going to keep jumping from one relationship to another bc the “passion” is not there anymore. I strongly recommend marriage counseling.
It made me remember a perfect meme I saw last month. It exactly applies to your situation and it said
“Getting a divorce because you fell out of love is like selling your car because it ran out of gas.”
Honestly it sounds like you’re just seeking lust, not love. Which is something you’re going to have to look deeper into yourself with. Personally I believe it hurt your ego when he was having issues and now you see it as something that attacks your personality when he can’t have sex with you. You may not even realize it because you’ve put sex as a way of “love” but when you took sex out of the equation it made you feel unloved and want to move on.
You clearly can see your partner as a whole and know he’s a good man and a good father but you’re not willing to accept him. I’d try revisiting counseling(even if you don’t want to) and find the deeper issue. Try resparking your sex life/lust with a romantic getaway, introduce new toys, open up about new ways he can make you feel desired.
Love is a choice. Lust can lose its spark. Find it again!
Don’t just leave a man because he couldn’t put out…
All I can say If It Don’t Fit Don’t Force It plain and simple bow out gracefully okay
You sound like a selfish narcissist bitch just saying
U will be sorry if u leave him…he will find what u are looking for and u will be forced to know it…without even looking u have what most women cant find…
U will be out there not being able to find what u seek…
I hope ur husband kicks u to the curb and ur kids grow to hate u cuz ur a selfish bitch for not thinking of their feelings…ur just thinking between the legs …definitely sound like a hoochie wanting a penis all the time in your Coochie
There is not going to be a significant amount of passion in a relationship that is not new and exciting. But, love should conquer all. Also, keep in mind that caring, kind, helpful men who are also great fathers is RARE. The grass might not be greener elsewhere. I think your need for more “passion” could be a psychological issue that you might need to get help for. I would look into seeing a psychologist
Your wanting the list feeling not love maybe try a open relationship where y’all can still be together but your free to fuck whoever you want and get that lust feeling your after
Someone has watched Sex Life on netflix a lil much.
U need to fall in love with him again. Talk to him about it or even let him read your post. Communication is everything. If you don’t tell him he won’t know.
U better keep him not to many like him
You sound like someone who only cares about sex. Sex is important in a relationship but it isnt everything. You are better off not being in any type of relationship or marriage. Lust is all you crave. I feel for your husband and I hope and pray he finds someone who can give him what he gives you. Your luck is you will find what you are looking for and it lasts a little bit and then they start abusing you and then you lost everything you had. I wish the best for your husband.
You are looking for teenage fling real relationships are work. And you don’t stay obsessed and also attracted to your partner you work together and build trust. Start having date nights. Go to a motel for the night no kids. He sounds very kind and like it’s hard to find a someone like that you are blessed. Pray about it before leaving
Love is a choice. A good passionate relationship isn’t going to just fall in your lap… you have to work for it and work to keep it. If sex is the only thing missing, maybe see a sex therapist to make sure you both understand what you need from each other. But if you have already decided you don’t want to be with him, nothing will work. because you won’t put your whole self into a resolution if you’re already one foot out the door.