I feel smothered by my husband: Advice?

Your post says you feel smothered by your husband… but your talking about the friend… so I’m very confused.


It’s an honest mistake by the admins - they are the ones that add on the topic statement/question (“I feel smothered by my husband: Advice?”) above the anonymous posting.


Consider explaining it openly: we will get together when and if I have time. I will always put my families needs before our friendship. I value what we share but my priorities have and are changing

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I’m confused? But if ur married and another guy likes you and your husband clearly knows this and ur hanging out with him that in my opinion is a nono. Because eventually the friend is gonna take it the wrong way and ur husband has every right to be upset. If tables were turned would u let him hangout with another girl that clearly likes him?


I wouldn’t socialize with him outside of work. You need to set boundaries and stick to them. You are aware of his feelings and should concentrate on your family.


Surely everyone is well aware the topic /heading of the post is a typo, a mistake on the writers part or whoever anonymously posts the questions for the page…now that that’s out of the way

The subject matter is this co-worker “friend” and the whole thing is just wrong on both parties parts the op and the “friend”. They probably have fooled around in the past at some point drunk perhaps, she now lives w regret and doesn’t want him to spill the beans, feels she has to keep him around or he’ll tell and he lives w hope.


Just call him a lint licker- with stone cold face- walk away from him- he will be dumbfounded and will probably sit drinking some beers so confused and won’t know how to approach you :grimacing:


I had a “friend” like this. I finally snapped on him and haven’t spoken to him in like a year. We didn’t really hang out elsewhere much though. He would come by our house quite a bit. They’re pushy bc they have feelings for you. You need to be done with him. The only way to get through to him is by not being nice.


It sounds like you don’t really want to be friends with him anymore, and your husband doesn’t seem too comfortable with it either. Tell him straight up he’s making you both uncomfortable and stop hanging out with him.


I honestly think you need to stop being friends with him and meeting him etc. He clearly has more interest in then just being a friend to you and he won’t stop. Seems he takes the " friendship and hanging out" just as a whole other meaning. He is fully aware of your relationship and that you aren’t interested. Does your husband know about it? Maybe you should tell him and let the husband say something because he clearly isn’t respecting you. To me though knowing he has feelings for you and he keeps up with it all the time I wouldn’t be hanging out with nor be friends in a relationship or not.

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It’s inappropriate and disrespectful to your husband and your family to continue this friendship. Your coworker is pursuing the friendship because he still feels like the door is open for more.


Okay so your friend is smothering you, not your husband… Since we got that situated. You don’t owe your friend anything and to be honest, I would just keep on keeping that distance. You say he knows you don’t feel for him that way and he is still hounding you to hang out? Ehhh.


Why does it say you feel smothered by the husband but the post is talking about the friend? Am I the only one to notice this? Lol and OP need to grow a pair and tell her “friend” to duck off that she has a whole ass family to take care of and one on the way.

SMH I feel bad for him…

As a married woman I would not be around someone who couldn’t respect the fact that I was married and I had to reintegrate the fact that I was married and have no interest in him…. That’s a big red flag…. And not someone that should be a part of your life


Sounds like you and husband need to talk…tell him everything then let husband tell him to stop coming around… stop playing games and choose your man… get over yourself


If your husband has a problem with you being around him and you don’t want his constant communication, tell him you can not be friends. I’d be more concerned on how my husband feels than my “friend”

Smh, you need to focus on your marriage, not that guy from work!

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How is that being smothered by your husband?

There are only two people in a marriage and that is you and husband. Let him get his own life!

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No way would I have a friendship with a man interested in me with me being married. I have more respect for my husband than that. I try to not put myself in situations that could be misinterpreted either because that’s just not fair.

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Wait a minute what? You’re spending too much time with this friend or your husband? This post is confusing

Girl—keep it up and you will be on the curb! Sounds like you want someone to tell you to leave your husband! What kind of wife would “hang out” with her male friend who has already said he has a thing for you? Any bet that you’ll be able to tell people you are divorced soon??? Wake up!!! Grow up!!! If you are that unhappy, leave. It’s not all on easy street-every marriage has its up and downs. IF you love your husband, it’s worth fighting for! I will be celebrating my 52nd anniversary with my hubby on Monday!! :two_hearts:


Reinforce the FACT that your married and about to pop a baby out.
But really if he can’t respect your boundaries now (after how many years?) He never will.
If you value your relationship/marriage/family why haven’t you blocked him yet?!?!?

Is it an attention thing?
You say you don’t like/want it, go as far as to ask random’s on Facebook, yet still talk to him an make a point of meeting up outside of work, even though your pregnant, married & it bothers your husband…:thinking::thinking::thinking::roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:

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Why are you even entertaining that bs. You have a family and a husband. Your husband is your BF now.

Ditch him it can hurt later

Umm tell your friend that your family comes first and they youbwill hangout with him when you are able. If he can’t deal with that then he needs to make some new friends. Your relationship isn’t disrespectful to your husband. You aren’t responsible for friends feelings just your own.

Why are you maintaining a friendship when you know he wants more?? That’s disrespectful to him and your husband. Pick one bc you can’t do both.
My husband would lose his mind and we’re Army. I have always had male friends I was tight with. Still do… But mone have a crush on me. Ewww.
Now, who are you smothered by bc that first line is confusing…:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Sounds to me like you like the attention othwrwise you wouldnt care…be honest with yourself who do u want…

Really sounds like ur maintaining a “friendship” with a guy who wants more . If ur not intrested and he understood that , but u say u have to keep making it known , clearly ur are giving him some sort of flirt to make him keep trying , and just seems really disrespectful to ur husband , ur husband has a lot of patience!

You’re playing around with both men. Stop it immediately or everyone including your 3 children will suffer from this stupid game you are playing. Time to grow up.


You have to decide whats more important… Your friend or your husband. You sound like you are battling your own emotions not your friends

Divorce him, he deserve someone better than a fl*rt.

If you don’t stop leading that man on… you’re asking for trouble girl.

Your “friend “ is not a friend. He’s an opportunistic bottom feeder with absolutely no respect for you, your life, your commitments, your responsibilities. Also, he’s whiny. Whiny men are gross. Dump him.

Girl you want the cake and eat it too!!! Lol

Your outlook sickens me as a Male. However reading responses from female commentors, I have hope.

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I’m confused. The opening question says you feel smothered by your husband. But the narrative seems like you’re saying you’re being smothered by your friend.

Going off of the narrative… one of your “best friends” has an unrequited crush on you. He knows that you are married, have kids and are expecting another. Your “friend” is making you feel bad for spending time with your family. Friends don’t do that. Friends understand when we need space. If you have gotten to the point that this friend is ADDING to the things that are exhausting you (telling him daily that you can’t hang out IS exhausting) you probably need to rethink this friendship.

I don’t know if your friend is trying to come between you and your family because of his “crush” or if he’s just too selfish to see that you need space. Or maybe he’s got a limited social circle (you). But no matter what- your “friendship” is at a point where you are giving way more than you are getting. This “friend” is becoming (or has become) an obligation and if it hasn’t happened already, will bring up resentment more than friendship.

You need to set clear boundaries. It’s not going to get better when your new baby arrives. The conversation will seem harsh (and maybe it is) but you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you are married, you have kids and all other relationships come AFTER that. Tell him that while you enjoy his company (assuming you do), your focus and energy is limited and your priority is your husband and kids. When he complains that you don’t spend time together outside of work, tell him that you feel bad (if you do) but you just don’t have the time right now because as a wife and mom you spend the time you DO have with your family. Every time he says something about hanging out, find a way to work your husband and kids into the response. If he’s one of your “best friends” maybe try and talk about meeting someone who is actually available because you want him to find the happiness that you have with your husband and kids.

Bottom line is if you are spending time with this “friend” every couple of months outside of work, how close are you actually? The tone I pick up is that even THAT time seems more like an obligation than anything else. Personally, I would suggest not spending ANY time with him outside of work because that’s not enough for him (and it seems like it’s too much time for you). You need to set the boundaries now and don’t move those boundaries. You owe it to yourself, your family and even to your friend so he can move forward and expand his social circle

What? Smothered by your husband or the co worker??

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Your family is what comes first. Figure it out yourself!

So you hang out with a guy who has expressed he wants more? And you are married? Wow. I don’t know many men that would put up with that garbage!!! Eventually he’ll find him a “friend” and you’ll feel what that feels like.