I feel terrible, but I don't love my husband

I don’t know if this is really advice or reassurance I am needing.

I’ve been with my S/O a little over 3.5 years. He’s a great guy. We were just friends when I ended up getting pregnant. We was just friends during that time because I had just got out of a very manipulative relationship a few months prior and wasn’t ready. I had plans to move out of town and thought when I got pregnant this was my sign to stay. My child is probably the best thing to ever happen in my life and I’m forever thankful to god that he gave him to me when he did. With that being said, I wanted to give my baby the chance to live in a home with his mother and father. I thought I would learn to love him in a way more then just friends. Because relationships are hard and sometimes you’ve got to fight to love someone…
When I gave birth I realized I did love him a little more because I seen how much love he had for our son. We’ve never really connected on a mental, or spiritual level which has lead to a lot of problems in other areas.
I told him a few months back that I wasn’t in love with him. I love him because he is my fathers son, and he is hands down a phenomenal father. He stepped up and really started helping me around the house and what not, but I think I’ve done talked myself out of it all. I’m not happy, I get no satisfaction in the relationship. He doesn’t communicate with me. It’s always just “ok.” It’s to the point when I’m driving home after picking up my son I’m dreading to go because I’ll have to interact with him and it makes me feel like a horrible person.
How do I go about saying I’m just done? How do I disrupt my 3 year old life when he loves his daddy more than me most days? How do I live with the guilt that he’s not a bad man, a bad father, he doesn’t abuse me, would give the shirt off of his back to a stranger, but I don’t love him? I am having a really hard time with this. I keep telling myself my life isn’t that bad. I worked my ass off to try and help him to become more responsible and get a good head on his shoulders.
Thanks guys, don’t eat me alive. I’m already doing it to myself.

He can have all these great qualities but if you don’t love him like that then you just don’t. You need to be in a happy healthy environment to be able to care for him the best & if that includes living somewhere else then that’s okay. Make a schedule for when he’ll be with dad and when he’ll be with you. It’ll take a bit to get used too but he’ll get the hang of it.

Ok u need to cut lose, the more u try and force this the more u will come to resent him. This is not a healthy environment for either of u nor for u child to grow up in.

If you don’t love him you don’t and won’t and that’s okay . Hanging on any longer is only going to hurt him even more