Why are yall living together so soon and haven’t said I love you yet is very strange
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I wouldn’t move so quickly with someone who just go out of a serious relationship.
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Take him to the Maury show have him take a lie detector test if he is lying run u
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Personally if I found a corner piece of a wrapper and it wasn’t a Twix I’d be concerned
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Give it time. All relationship is built up and it’ll be stronger than anything. Maybe see if you can get to his phone at any point of the day, like if it’s charging check it when you get a chance to.
Ummm if he is hiding his phone and putting it away when you come around that is a big red flag. My husband use to do the same thing then I found out he was cheating on me and going and seeing this woman 3 times a week 2 to 3 hours at a time.
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You started dating him and moved in with him both in November? Big yikes.
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Doesn’t sound complicated at all. He’s cheating and he has a “cover story”.
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He’s lying.
Think about how corny that sounds
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I would be curious to know what part of the wrapping. ? Was it the legit wording? Or just a corner. Having a husband n toddler that love to throw little pieces of wrapping on the floor I think it can go either way without full knowledge.
Also my husband is always putting his phone on the counter upside down on silent n he’s definitely not cheating. He just would rather devote his energy elsewhere n that’s ok I need to start doing that again 2. Taking time to disconnect is amazing n I love that he does it.
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- Why would you live with someone before you’re in love?
- If you are 100% certain that you could not have missed it when you cleaned, he’s lying.
- Leave and don’t look back. My Dad cheated on my Mom for years, she knew and it broke her heart repeatedly. No woman deserves that.
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Just be careful always go with your stomach 
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He is lying!! So many red flags!! Manipulative men are a dime a dozen!
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Run. Stop making excuses, stop trying to rationalize it. Run!
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I’d be hopping on his phone so fast 
He can be mad at his invasion of privacy but I see this situation as good reason to imo - I mean, A CONDOM WRAPPER GIRL! This guy has sus written all over him babe
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That is the truth. I having that problem to
You sure it wasn’t a mr. Noodle flavour packet ??
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Such a narcissist . That manipulation tactic definitely got you.
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You babes will believe anything these men tell you
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He was probably the cheater in the relationship, and you already KNOW it wasn’t there. You should not believe him, I mean he has you living there without loving you…
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What you wanna know 
if you should stay with him after he cheats 
?
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Go with your gut feeling/instinct.
In my experience/opinion: heart and head are complicated
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Go with your gut. That’s a major red flag, and down the road you’ll be wishing you didn’t ignore it.
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Is there an expiration date on that wrapper?? 
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My question is why are you already living with the man, cleaning his house, being his ‘domestic goddess’ when he is not even in love with you!?!…
RUN!
Put yourself first!
Love yourself first!
Respect yourself first!
Otherwise no man ever will!
That man you are with is a lier and cheater!
Learn to love yourself, and don’t accept anyone who doesn’t see your worth 
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Do you think it’s from when you moved out in December and it hasn’t been cleaned since then or do you think he’s brave enough to take someone home when you’re at work. OR are you thinking it fell out of his pocket.
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I have a friend that turns his phone off and if he has it own and it rings he goes to the bathroom and stays almost an hour. I believe he is cheating on me and my cut tells me he is. So I will be saying goodbye.
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Him putting his phone away at suspect every time he’s around you get on his phone and tell him that you have reason to because of the condom wrapper
Everything about this is a red flag. You moved in as soon as you started dating? Or a month after knowing each other? He was with his ex wife for 10 years you’re likely a rebound considering how soon after divorce you guys started dating. It takes time to heal from a relationship like that. It doesn’t surprise me he isn’t ready to say I love you yet. Honestly if it wasn’t your condoms wrapper you should be using condoms with him. 
No one can say for sure if he’s lying so go with your gut. It’s possible it could be from the past, and it’s possible he’s lying.
Now that’s not to say you guys can’t have a good relationship in the future but you have to give it time to grow. Slow down and stop trying to make yourself wifey so quick.
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The only red flag is that y’all agreed to live together and don’t even love each other. Dummies
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The ex wife , That’s his side piece now 
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You already know the truth, because if you’re questioning things you know he’s lying.
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It is time to get your hands on his phone to see what he is hiding…
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He is cheating girl! So sorry you’re going through this!
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Girl are you delusional
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Number one thing cheaters say when they’re called out - “If I wanted to be with other people, I would be”… Why is that the number one thing they say? Because they ARE with other people.
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I think ita way to soon to be living with him if your not even at the love stage yet, and one I will.sat is listen to your gut instinct it’s always right does sound dodgy to me tho and defo the phone but my ex used…to.do that and he was cheating, I suspect your gut is telling je is cheating since your asking advice and like o said your gut is never wrong I know it can be easy to ignore when I reapy like some1 but it’s just going to.hurt more. In the lomg run it’s easyer for you to move on now before the live stage comes
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Girl you know. Better pack your stuff and gtfo
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Talk to him tell him you need to go through his phone for peace of mind atleast , but what is your gut telling you
How big is the piece of wrapper? Could it be a part of a packet of ramen seasoning?
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First of all, y’all are doing things bass ackwards for a guy who is afraid of getting hurt! You literally moved in immediately. You don’t even know each other yet so you can’t really know if he is BSing you about this. You are moving way too fast! He got divorced, met you a few months later then you immediately moved in! That is crazy! He could totally be being honest but who knows! The phone issue sounds like some BS to me though. You are going to start seeing all the red flags/things you don’t like about one another that you normally find out when getting to know someone. You have skipped that entire process of dating. Did he actually want you to move in or did you NEED to because you lost your job? Is this a hobosexual kind of situation or? It is too soon to “truly love” this guy, you really don’t know one another.
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Girl, if your man shuts his phone off completely, it’s because he told the other girl goodnight 
You moved in way too soon, you’ll be moving back out, cause he’s definitely cheating.
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You’re supposed to be in love before you move in together, or have I been doing it wrong this whole time 
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Just because YOU love him doesn’t meant he does… and are you always this blind ? if you left the room spotless and found a condom and he’s making you out to be crazy what does your gut think?? Run girl run
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Walk away and don’t look back
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Okay. If I’m reading this correctly… you cleaned BEFORE u left. Now u moved back in in January, sooo 2 months ago. Soooo is this the first time you cleaned the room??? Cause you also said, you don’t work or have a car. So you prolly don’t get out much, if at all, especially alone or without him.
If I was him, I’d turn it around on you, no offense. I’m not saying he’s not cheating or hasn’t… BUT, in a relationship where you have two people, one who hardly leaves the house and one who leaves for work or wherever all the time… and there is suspicious of cheating IN the house… the likelihood is its the one IN THE HOUSE. Unless you leave at predictable times, leaving him alone to do whatever…
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Plot twist = Ramen noodle packet
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You don’t really know this guy. His story while full of details makes no sense and his trying to make it like you wouldn’t remember cleaning a condom from who knows when or some bullshit nonsense about not having sex with other people when in a relationship is gaslighting. I would almost say they both cheated in their marriage but his story should make you feel bad for him and he’s not doing shady shit on his phone out of respect and wants you to trust him even though he’s acting shady. Whatever .You are going to do what you want anyway but I don’t buy it. People show others what they want you to see. You don’t know what actually went on when you two were "separated " and he’s just got out of a LT relationship so you fall into the rebound category. Those don’t tend to last long.
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Sounds like this relationship will be a comparison of his relationship with his ex.
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November, December, January, February and hell nah!!!
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If you cleaned this room spotless, there’s no way this condom wrapper was missed. He’s lying. If he has nothing to hide, he would have handed you his phone when you brought up that you feel like he’s hiding his phone from you. I’d hand my fiance my phone, if he said that he thought I was hiding something on my phone.
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I kind of feel like he’s cheating especially with the fact that he says he isn’t in love with you. Someone who doesn’t fully love you won’t take your feelings and heart into consideration when they want something. Sounds like he’s trying to cover his ass. It’s your choice, stay and hope for the best or leave and find someone who isn’t going to make you question their loyalty. I want to say believe him, but I made that choice once and it ended in a lot of hurt.
As for the phone thing, I do that. I always put my phone on the counter or something, upside down. I never turned it off or anything, but I wanted the person I’m with to have my complete attention. It didn’t matter if it was friends, family or someone I’m dating, I always did that.
The easiest way to find out is go through his phone😂 I dont’t care what anyone has to say. If you’re in a committed relationship and questions are spinning in your head to the point that you come to Facebook for advice because talking to him felt like running into a brick wall, that’s the only thing I can see helping you besides leaving. It really shouldn’t be a huge deal if he’s not doing anything. You don’t have to go through everything, but it’s not wrong to want to know who he’s been talking to and how from the time you guys started dating/ moved in and started being serious. You can even be upfront and ask him to show you who he talks to since you guys have been together just to ease your mind. It’s not wrong to ask when you found what you did.
All RED FLAGS HIS CHEATING YOU ALREADY KNOW HE IS you just don’t want to or not ready to come to terms with it!
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Get. Out. Now.
Really think you already know this!! Don’t walk! RUN!!
Nope me no like any of this …follow your gut instinct 
Maybe he was using it on his self so it didn’t get messy an to afraid to admit he used it on him self to have some alone time if he was by himself .
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I’m not defending the guy, but after buying my house and having it cleaned spotless and living there for like 4 years I found a bumper sticker stuck in the crack of a cabinet, a fake eyelash under a boiler vent as well as Skittles and a mystery box of books in a tiny corner of the attic. It could have been stuck to the bottom of his shoe, blown in when the front door opened. Who tf knows… Not enough proof in my eyes.
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He slapping cheeks with another girl. Ke obvious
Lord have mercy Jennifer Ramsel-Ortega this sounds like Jake and the new girl we tried to warn 
Been through this, love is very blind baby girl pick yourself up and move on he’s playing with you.
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Ok wait you’ve been together since November. You’re not in the love stage yet you live together he turns his phone off when you’re around and you find a condom wrapper on the floor. Yeah he’s cheating on you girl. Idk how many more red flags you need!
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He sure blames his ex a lot … bet he slept with her when u moved out…
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I feel like you already know the answer to this. That feeling in your gut is why you wrote this post. I don’t know how old you are (you sound young to me), but I am 32 now and I wish I’d realized at a much younger age, how right my gut really was, so many times, when I ignored red flags. Moving you in after a month, (and only three months after his 10 YEAR marriage ended!), was a double red flag. You not being ready and moving out, then him somehow getting you to move right back in, within another month, is a red flag. Him wanting to move in, but not say he loves you, is a red flag. Cleaning every inch of the house when you first moved in, then finding a condom wrapper when you move back in, after living separately for a month, is a red flag (and the kind his ex wife likes, at that?). Him wanting to have sex with you, without a condom (sounds like you have never used one with him, if his last condom was supposedly during his marriage) is a red flag. They ALL say “if I wanted to cheat, why would I be with you?” BS - and sadly it’s usually because they know they can cheat and easily manipulate you to still be with them and lie about it, gaslight you, make you feel like you’re crazy and question what you know you know. The phone thing out of respect would maybe be a nice gesture, without all of the other red flags, but I am guessing that with this guy, it is only yet another red flag. He isn’t the mature and great guy that you think he is. His wife of TEN years probably always wanted him to wear a condom because she knew he cheated and didn’t want to catch anything. You know what you need to do and deep down you know he is lying, otherwise you wouldn’t have made this post.
It’s a NO from me (in my Simon Cowell voice)
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I was married to the biggest liar for 23 years. I loved him, and I made up every excuse I could think of when I would catch him in something because I couldn’t come to terms with it. I even convinced myself that I was the crazy one, and that he at least deserved the benefit of the doubt. Liars suck. It sucks even more when they make up elaborate stories to go with their lies. But what sucks the most, is having to convince yourself that what you see right in front of your face is not real. You know the answer. Leave before you waste one more day of your life. It’s a real short trip here on Earth.
I put my phone down too and my bf thought I was hiding shit. Even when I try to hand him my phone he won’t take it though. But he complained before I was on my phone too much. So I started putting it away. I can see why it looks bad at the same time. However what am I supposed to do it if neither is acceptable
You moved in with someone you have not yet fallen for? What the heck? Is it how it is done in the West? Does this not seem desperate? Sheeesh!!
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Ser my fiance and me have been together 3 years first few months we didn’t go through one anothers phone till we were sure how we felt now we have each other’s pw and can have each other’s phones whenever. Ask him one day to do a loyalty test and swap phones as a test. If yall can’t do that id be done and cut ur loses now
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Please. For the love of humanity. Stop breeding. I can’t even read this
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You sure it wasn’t a top ramen sauce pack? … mind me. I didn’t even read the entire post.
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And you move in with someone your not in love with.
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Check his phone if it’s good stay with him …if he doesn’t have nothing to hide he will show it don’t matter it’s a respect thing if someone asks
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Omg you moved in with someone who isn’t even in love with you…run run run run run!!! Nothing should be complicated unless it’s actually a shitty place to be. Get out. For your own health and safety! And get yourself checked!!
I think you both need to slow it way down.
You stated you both thought things were going too fast and started seeing each other and moved in with him in the same month of November, but moved out about a month later, which would be December, then moved right back in, in January, and now, approximately a month later you’ve found a piece of a condom wrapper and you’ve both barely been seeing each other approximately 4 months.
What’s the rush?!
He just got out of a serious relationship where he was married for 10 years. I hate to be the one to break the news, but you’re probably a rebound fling/relationship, someone who he felt comfortable with starting something with to get back into the dating game, and he likely missed the comfortableness of a marriage and partner. It doesn’t matter how mature he is or how different he is from what you’re used to dating, he’s a divorced man who’s barely had time to adjust to the fact of being divorced, nevermind already moved in and having a serious relationship with someone else. He barely was on the dating scene and then suddenly involved with someone that moved into his place. He hasn’t had nearly enough time to get his head on straight and healed from his divorce, especially if he was hurt by her cheating on him, if that’s even true and she cheated on him.
It doesn’t matter how good, faithful, loyal, or whatever you are, he needs more time and space to heal before starting over with anyone. Doesn’t matter if it’s you or the next one.
Also, there’s the fact he said he’s “getting there” with “falling in love with you”, that is a big red flag telling you that he does care about you and he probably doesn’t want to or intend to hurt you, but he’s not ready for a full-on serious and committed relationship just yet, especially already living together.
As for the condom wrapper, could be he had someone over when y’all weren’t living together for a couple or so weeks, but then again, maybe it is from when he was with his wife. Who knows?
So yeah he probably does like you, but he’s absolutely not ready for anything serious right now and you definitely don’t need to be pushing and pressuring him for a label or title. He’s at the point where he’s probably trying to test out his freedom but can’t and couldn’t because you’re right there all the time. He probably feels smothered or forced to be serious because he doesn’t want to hurt you, while he’s still confused about this whole new role of being single again too.
I say it’s best you get your own place and stay there, but be prepared to lose this guy as a potential, and go ahead and take a step back and just be a friend to hang out with or a friend with benefits but keep your feelings out of it, and if you can’t handle or do that, back off and let him go. He’s not ready. I can promise you that much. But for now, you definitely need to go ahead and back off, give him something to chase, because if he’s truly serious, he’ll stick around and the relationship will grow. If he wants more in say a year or so after he’s had time to adjust to being single and heal, maybe then try a relationship again, but I still absolutely wouldn’t rush anything, and I definitely wouldn’t be moving in or anything until he’s had at least 2 years of being single before even trying to get involved in another serious relationship with anyone. This is just asking for heartache.
Sit him down and tell him you definitely think you’ve both rushed things, and you realize he needs time and space to heal and grow, but for now maybe it’s best to just remain friends because you don’t want to be the rebound and get hurt, and then pack your stuff and back off! If you’re “the one”, when he’s ready to commit to a serious relationship, then there will be no doubts about his feelings for you. He will make sure you know that he’s more than ready to take it to the next level, and he’ll put a ring on it. If you truly love him, then give him that time and space, and let him live his life and you live yours, and if it’s meant to be, it will definitely happen and there won’t be any doubts or hesitations for either of you.
For now, I’d go get a health checkup, and then I’d definitely start using condoms with him and get regular checkups if for no other reason than to keep myself safe just in case. You also need to trust your gut. Only you know how well you cleaned that place, and only he knows whether it’s an old or new condom wrapper piece. But I would definitely take a step back based on all those facts and be extra careful with my health and my heart. Use your head, not your heart in this case, and with these issues, I would definitely use my head and not my heart right now. It’s too soon and way too rushed!
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All kinds of red flags to me
Go with your gut,
I think he is cheating
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Ok hun… never take a man for his word after 3ish months. You don’t even know each other yet. Don’t fall for the whole “trying to give you more attention” thing with the phone. There are plenty of mature, hard-working men who have their shit together that cheat.
Put up a hidden camera so u can see who comes in the house. They even make them inside pic frames and stuff.
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I can see both sides.
On one, he is making you top priority by shutting down the phone. If he were cheating, from my experience, he’d leave it on and be sneaky so the side gal didn’t get upset. Does that make sense?
And, how much of the corner? Is it a brand you guys use? I don’t need those answers but it could be relevant. Maybe he pulled out a box from storage and it was ten years old (I’ve been there - my husband now and I went through a bunch of boxes I packed almost 20 years ago and yeah, condoms fell out. I was always proactive in my own reproductive health). As someone mentioned, shiny and gold could be a ramen packet, a chocolate/candy wrapper, a sticker off a mail in sweepstakes…
I mean, go with your gut, but from what I could understand of the story, it also sounds like you have a touch of guilty conscience.
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Seems you very much wanna believe him even though you know he is cheating so go right ahead. Just know he is dipping into out 
as well.
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Omg are you seriously going to believe believe bullsh** he’s talking he just come out of a divorce then you guys were together and broke up you definitely would of cleaned anally I’m an anal cleaner then you get back together and find a condom wrapper on the floor and he’s stated his ex and him used condoms doesn’t want to be on his phone obviously because she’s blowing up his phone do yourself a favour and leave this situation this man isn’t mature if he was he wouldn’t be lying to you and blaming someone else for his actions don’t excuse his behaviour let him have his ex and find someone that respects you
Honestly he only got divorced a bit ago and you moved in not long after. Your a rebound job dear. Chances are him and his ex may have had a hook up in period you moved out. Old times sake moment. It quite common after long relasionship break ups.
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I almost broke up with someone over a corner of a ramen noodle packet so a lot of these comments might be right
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He’s sleeping around.
Everyone comes with baggage. Weather it be physical (a child with an ex), mental and emotional (trama from abusive relationship from from family, anyone). It’s if you are willing to listen to them and hear it, not to reply, but to listen and understand. You don’t know what someone really went through until you just listen to them.
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Y’all are quick to judge. Honey, it may be an old wrapper from who knows where. If you trust him let it be. If you don’t, step away.
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What you seek you will find
He’s lying through his condoms…run for the hills
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You’ve been in this relationship for a very short period of time and already moved in, moved out, and moved back in. Did you really expect or communicate any mutual expectation of loyalty during that period of you being gone? I wouldn’t hold anything over his head if you two didn’t agree to anything.
Regardless of what did or didn’t happen, you guys came back together. If you can’t get past this possibility that he slept with someone, just move on now. But he obviously isn’t too concerned with it considering he moved you back in with him.
The phone could be just what he explained, or he could be a piece of shit. You’ll find out sooner than later living together.
Just go with the flow, and see what happens. What is done in the dark always comes to light.
You know in your heart and mind that you cleaned that room of his top too bottom…don’t be a fool here…his even told you in a round about way who it was…is ex wife…read between the lines .his cheating.
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I snapped at my partner once cause I thought I found a corner of a condom wrapper, turns out was a corner of the mr noodle sauce pack lol don’t always assume the worst 
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Gaslighting you heavy with his answer for everything.
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You live together but aren’t in the ‘love stage’
If you don’t ‘love’ each other don’t live together like that.
I’ve been with my husband 6 years and I moved him in my house after a month and got pregnant a month after but we were already saying ‘I love you’
And we’re still together today
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I am sorry, you are with someone who using his ex for a reason(excuse) to being “Unavailable” and telling you that the reason that he does some sketchy stuff is her fault. I think you’re asking others because your gut already knows, trust it! it will hurt ending it but sticking will be far more painful.
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Run as fast and as far as u can
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Maybe he cleaned out a drawer and it missed the trash?
Follow your gut but understand, if you keep pushing this, you’ll have to make a choice.
I wish more ppl out their phones up when with their spouse or child. Nobody gives undivided attention anymore. It’s kinda pathetic.
You either trust him or you don’t.
Absolutely lying, girls clean is different no way did you miss that condom wrapper when you deep cleaned that room hun
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Maybe he banged her for the last time after divorce. Since he stated that he’d only use those specific ones with her!
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If he doesn’t know now, you aren’t the one. Move on, there’s someone else… too.
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