Sorry you moved in too early
Red flags. Secretive with his phone. Condom wrapper. And he said he’s getting to the love u stage?? U will know when someone really loves u. And he’s saying if he wanted to sleep with other people he wouldn’t have u. That says absolutely nothing!!! He can have u, and still be sleeping with other women. Just not at the house anymore. U should be more an careful. And also think real hard if this relationship is what u really want.
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Why did you move in with someone you’re not in love with? Sounds like you’re moving way too fast. Get your own place, date slowly, you obv don’t trust him so either you both need to work on that or maybe you should just walk away
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Cut him loose now and move on. Don’t waste any more time with him. Sorry
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Sounds like he’s sleeping with his ex wife (could be wrong? ) but seriously if a man hides his phone Ect he’s hidding something big been there myself lol
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Look… I couldn’t even read your whole post. Leave the dude. He’s being a narcissist and he’s playing you. Don’t be niave.
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I had an old purse. When I moved in with my husband I was cleaning it out and an old cigarette box lid fell out. My husband found it that evening. It was an exs brand I didn’t smoke. He asked about it and I told him I didn’t know. Later I realized where it came from. I’m thankful he believed me because it seemed weird but I really did nothing wrong.
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Atleast he’s protecting himself…and you over all kinds of STIs
Wow definitely moved too fast on that one. How can someone be with another person after a 10 year relationship?? If yall don’t love each other why live together ?
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Why the hell you move in with someone you don’t love. Wtf
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Wait, my thoughts are stuck at the part where you say you are not in the love state yet, yet you guys are living together… First it’s the bush post now this??? Okay something’s in the water. Someone please explain to me how you can move in with someone whom you dont love
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He’s the one that cheated on his ex wife
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He is playing you like a fiddle. And you are the only one left out of the loop…
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Personally, I wouldn’t move in with someone that I have fallen in love with, but wasn’t at the “love stage” with me. Weird. But, that’s me. Also, I see red flags all over this post. Maybe he’s not cheating, idk, but damn sure sounds like it. Don’t go thru his phone, you might get your feelings hurt. If you’re really having trust issues, communicate that with him.
I know I’m very old fashioned but in my mind you dont sleep with people you don’t love and you dont move in together till you’re in love and committed to each other.
Has he cheated ? …I couldn’t say tbh. Its perfectly feasible that a small piece of wrapper could be hiding in a pocket, carried in on a shoe , caught in a bit of laundry …
If you trust him…stay
If you don’t… leave
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If you get the feeling he is cheating, he most likely is. Maybe you shouldn’t have moved back in so soon. Set up a few(secret cameras) . My first marriage I suspected he was cheating, I never caught him. But when we divorced, who was the first person he dated? Yeah, the girl I thought he was cheating with.
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I’m feeling mixed things about this… Every time u talk to him about an issue he mentions his ex wife! I feel like it’s a guilty distraction like he’s using things she used to say to him to make u overlook what’s happening and the fact it could well be her he’s back in contact with. Sometimes when a person is guilty about a certain thing, they will try to use that thing as a reassurance of not being guilty (if that makes sense). to u in this situation. I could be way off, but I’ve dealt with something similar.
My ex cheated on me and then when we split he told everybody I cheated on him. U never truly know the truth if u only heard their side of the story
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Switch phones for a day. I’m pretty sure u will find ur answer. Lol
He is obviously a cheater. Move on.
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Is it possible it could have fallen out from a pocket of a pair of pants not washed often? I wouldn’t believe him. The phone thing, I don’t cheat and I hate when my spouse lingers behind me to see what I’m doing however I can pickup his phone anytime I want, doesn’t mean it’s the same the other way. He can see whatever he wants but I was also married prior and I have kids with that man and we argue sometimes etc. I don’t want him getting upset over that bc he will.
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Hit the door running!
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By the way. He’s blaming everything on his ex wife which is a huge red flag. He shouldn’t be in another committed relationship if he still blames that much on her.
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I totally get that about him putting his phone up. I had an ex who used to get mad at me for being on it then my most current partner would find it suspicious I would put it up but it really is just a habit. Id honestly save yourself the heartbreak & just be his friend till he’s completely healed from his ex. Speaking from experience.
My feeling is , he’s a narcissist … nothing is his fault…he’s so perfect he even turns his phone off…come-on, writing on the wall.
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Either trust him or don’t. If you don’t it will more than likely ruin the relationship if you keep asking him. I will say though having you move out then back it doesn’t seem like a red flag to me . 
Sounds like he’s still in love with his ex .
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You shouldn’t be in a “living relationship” with a man that doesn’t love you…by this point he should know if he does and that in itself is a red flag. If he is still scared he’s not over what happened and in turn that will affect your relationship.
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Get out now before your even more invested. He is absolutely lying to you.
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Damn.
He’s so stupid.
His lying ass just failed.
he is right , if he really didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t. You are with him when you lost your car & job, Just where would have gone, if he wasn’t there??? So think about that, Now you are bitching, because he turns his phone off when you are there !!! Good God, woman, that is truly a wonderful man, If he was on his phone every minute you are there & awake, you would bitch, but because he is not on his phone & turns it off, you bitch!! And he is right about he is scared about being broke again. Maybe you should have waited a few more months before you moved into his house. And did the dating thing for a while, But this is really between you two,
I think if it is really bugging you this much then you are getting a feeling that maybe he has cheated? Do you really want to be in a relationship with doubt? You need to really ask these sort of questions to yourself whether you believe what he is telling you or do you think he really has cheated. No one on here is going to know him or you or the history of it all. We can only go off what you have given us. Advice is so hard in these situations because everyone is so different and will react differently.
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I feel the ex was there when you moved out, 
cause I’d you cleaned it spotless he lyin
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No girl, no! Reading this sounded so familiar.
He is lying. Since nothing is his fault, he’s practically painted a red flag on his forehead. Pay attention before it’s too late.
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Get out while you can.
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I’d hope that a 10-year-old condom doesn’t look like a fairly recent one.
Also, as Ronald Reagan was prone to say “trust, but verify.”
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I’m so confused as to why you live with a man you barely know and too young of a relationship to love that right there is a no
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Let that man live in peace
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He’s definitely lying and you should run
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My ex went off on me saying I was cheating because they found a lighter leash in the backseat of my car and wouldn’t believe me when I said I didn’t cheat. Turns out it was from her sister when I had given her and her kids a ride the day before.
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Why did you move in so soon?
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All kinds of red flags are popping up for me. All of what he could be saying could absolutely be the 100% truth but the odds are very slim. I wouldn’t take the chance so early on. I wouldn’t want something else I’d have to ‘live though’. Sounds like a bad situation to me.
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He’s a lier girl sorry I wouldn’t be able to trust him
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Why would moving in come before falling in love? 
He’s scapegoating his ex wife for everything, so he can get away with anything. There’s no way you “missed the spot”; and even then, why would you live with an unclean man who waits for a woman to move in instead of cleaning his own room? 
He’s playing you like a fiddle, even if he magically weren’t cheating.
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So even if they divorced last summer, they were still having sex? And for that to be there all this time? No way is he telling the truth Missy. Get out now or this will be your future, full of lies and excuses
I’m so confused you are not in the love stage, but live together. You clearly don’t trust him, why do you live together? Also it seems like you possibly moved in because you lost your job for a bit and used this guy as a crutch. Are you sure you aren’t trying to find excuses to leave now? Just feels like you gave your own answer. If you aren’t happy, then leave.
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He’s lying sweetheart
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Why move in with a guy who’s uncertain about his feelings for you? He’s getting there 
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I see red flags…trust me …wouldn’t put it pass that he had a booty call with ex when u left for a bit
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Every bad guy I’ve ever dated said “My eX chEateD”. It’s usually a lie
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…you guys live together but he doesn’t love you? Man that would stress me out. Seems like a lot of red flags too.
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Time to start snooping.
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Ask him to borrow his phone sometime and watch his reaction. Maybe take a photo and you’ll see what kind of things he has on it.
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Once a cheater always a cheater.
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Girl he is LYING like a rug, and using his past relationship as his scapegoat. Save yourself the heartbreak and emotional and mental anguish and get out. He obviously has no problem lying to you… Best of luck.
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Me, the moment I find that condom.
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Run girl run! You deserve respect! Next time don’t give him the milk, before he commits to buying the cow!
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You know what sometimes I feel like these stories are fake asf.
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Doe wat je wil. Je bent al groot
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Omg 
run!!! And fast! Classic bullshit answers that are definitely a 
Are we sure it’s not the seasoning packet of a Mr.noodle?
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The fuck you move in with someone when you say you’re not “in the love stage yet still”???
Sounds reliable to me. Poor guy. 
I would try to trust him and at the same time keep my eye open. No too hasty desicions.
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If you’re not in ‘the love stage,’ why on earth did you move in with him??
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Move out till he’s sure he’s in love with you & want’s monogamy.
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If you have to ask , i think you already know the answer…
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Sound like he’s been with ex wife in ur absence
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Young one - what does your heart say? A good relationship foundation 4 cornerstones are trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty. This is made stronger only through communication.
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Run away he is lying to u
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You say you love him, but you can’t have love without trust and you obviously don’t trust him.
He may still be seeing his x. I have a few divorced friends who still slept wirh their ex for a while, while in a new relationship. They weren’t over the break up and was hoping they can get back together with their ex. Never did and then was committed to their new partner.
Just saying you’d be surprised by the ones like that that would cheat and know all the right things to say but that doesn’t mean he is cheating or did cheat go with your gut mine has never been wrong. Don’t be fooled and blinded by love.
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You clearly don’t trust him, so move back out and stay that way until you actually see where the relationship is going.
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Move on, you are his “ tweeter” ( you are getting him ready for a real relationship) . I’m sorry, but we all have those, rebounders that help us heal .
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His explanation is a valid one, it is possible that you missed it, however go with your gut on this one…for your own piece of mind
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I’ve been in that situation before, trust your gut.
Sounds like the ex may have came for a visit??? If it hasn’t been on the floor in months and you just found it? Oh I know it just fell from the ceiling!!! Same kind he used with the ex? Maybe she left it for you to find??
I know it’s hard, but show trust. There’s no way you can know definitely whether he cheated. Trust him. Let him/ give him the time he needs to fall in love again. A man can be hurt just as much as a woman when cheated on. You love him, give it a try and trust him.
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How long have you known him? Doesn’t sound like it’s been a long time, and in my opinion definitely too short of a time to be moving in romantically with someone, especially someone who isn’t in love with you. (“that he truly feels like he’s falling in love but he needs a little time…”) He should have been in love with you before you cohabitated…
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Ooh bullshit sounds like wife was present in your house…
You would be surprised where stuff can hide when sweeping/cleaning!! I’m not saying he definitely didn’t cheat. But, Have you talked to him about how between the condom wrapper and him constantly putting his phone away around you, you feel like maybe something is up?
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Why move in if there’s not even any love there…it can be hard enough when you’re head over heals in love…both of you!!
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I’d be weary. I’d just get out now before your feelings grow and you really get hurt. The whole phone situation along with the condom wrapper just makes it feel a little off. Maybe. It could be my own paranoia. Maybe just take it slow and guard your heart.
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Um run. They slept together.
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Not even in the love stages yet? Im sorry but why did you move in then?! With me and Im sure with most people, you just dont move in less you are at that stage geez smh. I mean its your life but you are just asking for a set up fail in my opinion 
But hope everything works out for ya
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time to leave if I were you, it is now, just leave and start over
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Sounds like the kind of excuses my ex would good give. And in the end, I actually caught him cheating. Don’t let it slide. You will regret it if you do.
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I’m sorry but this guy seems to be A liar and him saying that his ex wife cheated doesn’t add up they way it seems to me is that he is the cheater here and you are wearing your heart on your sleeve please don’t do that because you are only going to get hurt in the long run and when you said that you two aren’t even in the love stage yet me it doesn’t take long for you to fall head over hills for the right guy and there isn’t love there then why are you staying in this I don’t know maybe this is just me that has this instinct that feels like his is lying and that he’s a cheater but I wish you nothing but the very best of luck
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I’ve been dating my man for a year today. We haven’t used the word love and we do not live together but we have talked about it and agree that neither of us are ready to cohabitate and I trust that he would never and has not cheated on me even though we have gone days without speaking. I also have felt at times that our relationship was falling apart and we were on the verge of breaking up but upon speaking with him, turns out we were both just really busy and didn’t have time to put our relationship first but worked on it as soon as we could.
Sure every person and relationship is different, but if y’all don’t love eachother is you don’t trust him or believe him, then why are you with him? Is it convenient? Stable? Why settle? Turn your phone off sit down and have a discussion with him. Tell him how you feel and why you feel it’s not adding up. Listen to him, like really listen to his answer and don’t self sabotage the relationship cause it’s not what you want to hear/confirming your suspicions.
You need to leave him
His ass is lieing omgggg he is just really good at being a cheat! All those things scream professional cheater so don’t let him play u!!!
There’s no way you should be living with a man who isn’t in love with you. You’re wasting your time. He is clearly still rebounding from his ex-wife, and he only moved you in to fill a void. Men don’t like to be alone with their feelings for too long.
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Been there done that. He cheated. Leave him
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Hunny he feels like he’s falling for you? That shouldn’t be a question for one. And you’ve already moved in with him? That should be your first red flag.
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She definitely had him wear the condoms cuz she didn’t trust his ass… and his use to hiding his phone or turning it off because he would do that with her to make sure he didn’t get caught… so many red flags
Yea I’m sorry but that sounds like a big load of bs!! Nothing about this situation or relationship sounds right im sorry. But know your worth and find someone who is truly interested in you.
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sounds like you are a rebound. My ex of ten years broke up with me in September and started dating someone else a couple months later. He still texts me constantly while with this new girl. Like stop and step back.
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He don’t need to be in a relationship since he’s always talking about his ex to begin with. That’s annoying.
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U know yourself better than anyone, did you really clean it spotless ?
Sounds like hes playing with his ex wife sorry