Today I found a torn piece of a condom wrapper on my boyfriend’s bedroom floor. We live together, I moved in the end of November. At the time I moved in I was working and we decided things were going too fast and I moved out for about a month until we decided to live together again in his home. I remember cleaning his room spotless, under the dresser, behind, and EVERYWHERE. Swept everywhere. And that was before I moved out. I moved back in January and things were great relationships wise but I lost my job and car until I was able to get both of those back. As I was cleaning our bedroom today, and I found a torn condom wrapper and I talked to him and he claims he didn’t cheat. He says I must have missed a hidden spot from under the dresser and that his ex wife of 10 years used to make him wear condoms before he found out she cheated on him. He also said that if he didn’t want to be with me and/ or that if he wanted to sleep with other people, he wouldn’t be with me. He told me he used those specific kind of condoms with his ex wife when they were together. They divorced last summer and my boyfriend and I have been together since November. He’s the kind of guy I never expected to be with, and in a such a good way. He’s mature, works hard, and he’s not the kind of men I used to date. But the thing is, every time I’m around him, he puts his phone away/ shuts it off, and I talked to him about it and he said it’s because he’s doing it out of respect that I possibly want attention and that his ex wife used to yell at him for always being on his phone so it’s a habit. I’ve never been on his phone, nor I want to. He hasn’t been on mine either but he’s welcome to. Not that we should, because I want that trust for each other. Until I found the torn condom piece on the floor. Should I believe my boyfriend or what? I truly love his guy; but we aren’t even in the love stage yet still. Before I found the condom (only saying when so you know the timeline) He tells me that he’s getting there, and that he truly feels like he’s falling in love but he needs a little time because hes scared of being broken again due to his ex wife cheating on him. It’s a complicated story. I just don’t know what to do.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I found a torn condrom wrapper on my boyfriends floor
It is possible that you missed it. Or that it ended up in some laundry or something. My husband and I haven’t used condoms in two years and I found a corner piece of the condoms we used to use. It’s very possible. If things are going well and there’s no signs of cheating, I would believe what he’s telling you
He sounds like he may be telling the truth but it sounds like yall moved in together way too fast 
let’s see that phone girl lmao
Idk hiding his phone is a red flag to me just because my ex did that because he was cheating. He would also hide it in his car when he came to visit.
Condom wrappers are like ghosts 
I haven’t used any in years and they’ll still pop up out of nowhere. For example, you tear it open, it falls somewhere, gets shuffled about, and ends up in a nook and then dragged back out years later. It happens. I say just look for other flags and if you don’t see any then he’s worth believing.
Ya Idk it’s all fishy 
Phones Should be able to lay out and fully open
Maybe a ramen noodle seasoning packet top?
Follow your gut… You better start using condoms just sayin!
If you’re not in love went ate you living together?
I would give him the benefit of the doubt I wouldn’t assume the worst just yet since your relationship is rather new and he could be telling the truth
“We aren’t even in the love stage yet” but y’all living together? Girl, bye
I’d leave. Red flags all over the place
Right !!! Good luck !!
Do you have pets? If it was waaaay up under the dresser (and a pet can crawl under there), maybe… and that’s a flimsy maybe. If you cleaned everything spotless then you know your level of clean. Those wrappers don’t magically transport themselves around a room. Pretty sure it’s new-ish and if
you have doubts you likely already have your answer. Move on if you don’t believe him.
Up until the hiding phone thing I was like yep he is telling the truth it happens but the phone thing is a bit of a worry tbh
Liar. Pulling the wool over your eyes big time!
Always follow your gut!
Yous don’t use condoms at all? You just started dating? Not even in the love stage as you called it…
I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. His story lines up.
I’d put it in my memory bank. It’s definitely possible you missed it, and definitely possible his ex wife always yelled at him for being on his phone. But…those could be 2 really good lies that you can’t prove. I wouldn’t immediately assume he’s lying if he’d never given me a reason to question him before, but the next time something shady is happening I’d remember this and maybe connect some dots 
The wrapper will have the date it’s good tell on it you can tell from that about when it was bought and used
He’s definitely cheating
Probably the ex he was married to for ten years until recently BTW. that kind of connection doesn’t just disappear overnight. But… Dishonesty is not acceptable either way. Sounds too soon for this relationship with you.
If i were you. I will leave that guy in a sec. not just because i saw the condon but because i know my worth as a women. If you’re scared being broken again then fix youserlf! Don’t used other people just to cover you previous pain. it just that you’re passing your pain to another! However, i will not wait for a man to fall in love with me! It just… stupidity! Relationship will work well if the guy really love you btw.
Don’t over think it. Hes been cheated on he knows how it feels.
Are you sure it’s not a piece of a ramen packet 
Turning off his phone when you’re around…ha he’s still messing around with ex, LEAVE
Why would you move in with somebody who dont love you …what do you mean hes getting there .I must be old fashion because I’m not moving in with somebody unless we love each other .life is too short to wait and see if " he’s getting there " .it’s simple you either trust him ( about the condom wrapper and everything else ) or you don’t .
I honestly feel as though he may be sleeping with his ex again?
Are you sure it wasn’t a ramen flavor packet?
Well def sounds like y’all are friends with benefits. You should prob start using condoms. Also I wouldn’t believe his answers to all those questions. He’s trying to make his lies seem like the truth. Yikes to all this. 
It’s kinda sad that when a guy turns off his phone to spend time with you it’s seen as a red flag and not just respect.
So you live together but your not in the love phase yet???
3 words…YOU ALREADY KNOW!!!
He’s seeing the ex again and she left that bit of evidence for u to see.
Just because they say they aren’t cheating doesn’t mean it’s true:woman_shrugging:t3: also the whole putting the phone away:triangular_flag_on_post:
it shouldn’t matter if your there or not he should be able to keep his phone up and continue looking at whatever he was doing before you came. Now with phones, they should be able to lay fully open. He’s got something going on in that phone
I feel like you already know what to do…
Sounds like hogwash. Leave
Well did you go away recently for him to cheat?
He’s cheating. You deserve better
I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. It’s very possible that you just missed it last time you cleaned and he is telling the truth. Aside from the wrapper, would you say your relationship is going well? Would you say he has changed lately, or is he still as attentive/affectionate as he usually is?
I know it’s rough when you find something that brings insecurity and distrust to the surface, but if he hasn’t raised suspicions in your eyes before this I think you should just move on from it and try to repair your trust if you feel able.
Putting his phone away isn’t an automatic red flag. He could very well do it out of respect for you to show that you’re more important than whatever is on his phone.
Sit down. Have a big open, honest conversation with him. Don’t be accusatory, just express how you feel about the situation. It’s okay to be upset about things like this, but you have to try and put some logical thought and perspective into it as well. Think about whether you can actually move forward - if you can’t, that’s okay too. But I do think a conversation should be had regardless.
You started dating in November and you already live with him…??? Oh girl. You don’t even know this guy. And if you live with him, haven’t been working and haven’t had a car how does he have time to bring someone into your home that you share together and cheat. Honestly you should still be in the dating phase but I say your guy was eating some noodles and left a piece of the package… seriously… good luck
I hate when I’m trying to talk to my husband and he has his phone in his hand it bugs the shit out of me because he’s not listening personally. And who knows it could very well be that you missed it or it fell out from somewhere. You can’t say you deep cleaned everywhere else you pulled out every peice of clothing every dresser draw don’t jumo to the cheating so fast without evidence or proof
If I loved him I’d give it another chance. If he’s cheating you’ll get more proof eventually. A little piece of paper could have gotten missed earlier.
The possible good news is at least he was practicing safe sex while cheating, but you should still get tested, if I were to have to wager on it, the odds you are a bad cleaner and you guys missed seeing the wrapper for 2 months–low, the odds your boyfriend is lying about some or all- high
Your problem is that you moved in before he loves you, why?? He sounds like he’s still a mess from he recent marriage breakup… Good luck!
Girl. I could have accepted that it was a rogue piece of wrapper from months ago. But then the part where he’s just stringing you along really made it all clear
Girl all this happened in 4 months😧
You aren’t in the love stage yet and you moved in together??!! My advice
RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!
One more thing if he just got a divorce during the summer and you started dating and moved in in November… You are the the rebound… Doesn’t look good.
Y’all live together but arent in the love phase?! You moved right in and soon as your started dating?! Red flags everywhere!
Gunna be honest, when I first started dating my boyfriend I found a wrapper on his floor and confronted him about it, he said he used it for a dare from one of his friends for his gaming stream and filled it with root beer 
I didn’t believe him until I actually came across the stream one day… I don’t know maybe he’s telling the truth, but I would definitely stay cautious
Red flag. A girl who cleans knows exactly what and where she cleaned. I’m sure it was not left in a spot you missed
Run!!! What ever he blamed his ex wife for he’s doing it!!!
always follow your instinct!!
Either you trust him or you don’t. However your gut feeling is almost always right, so I would say trust that. And then again another however maybe he is telling the truth. Give it time considering it is still in the early stages of this relationship
I’m sure u can find him on tinder:confounded:
Decide if it’s feelings from your past relationships making you think this way, or is it a gut feeling, do you think he would actually cheat on you.
He cheated with the ex-wife
Trust you’re gut look at the phone get your proof xx
Might’ve been from Ramen Noodles!
TRUST YOURSELF. Trust your gut instinct, SO often were blinded by love and refuse to see the red flags. Honestly, after being with his ex for 10yrs and being heartbroken by her and just barely divorced not even a year ago THAT’S a red flag I wouldn’t think he’s had enough time to truly get over her. He might be falling for you but at the same time his heart can still belong to his ex, his divorce is just too fresh. How is his relationship with his ex, do they talk at all? Keep your eyes and ears open! My ex cheated on me with HIS ex-wife and got her pregnant and my biggest regret was not listening to my gut and not seeing the red flags. Just look at the big picture.
In my experience when a guy says that the relationship ended because he was cheated on. I always later found out he was the one that cheated and did it in just the way you discibed…that’s just my experience tho.
In the future please don’t move in with someone before you love them, unless it’s a roommate situation.
Yeah he cheated. I’d be questioning if it was his ex wife that cheated or him.
He must’ve been the one that cheated. Trust your gut!
You say he’s not in love with you, ( his words) so why would you move in with him, if you know you cleaned everywhere then I would say he cheated.
He’s sleeping with his ex wife. For sure.
Sorry, but send his ass up the road! Your gut is already speaking what you know because you posted this. Trust your instinct. 
I didn’t even finish reading lol You know damn well he cheated. lol
He’s playing you like fiddle
Turning off his phone is a bit extreme. Huge red flag! That alone would push me to think he’s hiding.
Why do u already live with the dude if you “aren’t in the love stage”???
He’s going back and forth with his ex wife
Okay, I’m sorry but I wouldn’t move in with someone I basically just met and do not even love yet. You said he is falling, you didn’t say you have. The wrapper could have been missed or he could of slept with someone. The phone thing is whatever, I keep my phone silent at all times because I hate being on my phone. I just cannot understand why you would move in with someone you do not truly know and who was literally just divorced. I’m sorry but no.
Hide a recorder you will catch him then or a camera.
I’m gonna say he slept with someone or multiple people during the time that you moved out.
Go with your gut.
Who the Fuxk knows. They say you can’t assume unless you have proof… But you have a piece of a condom wrapper - isn’t that proof enough for you??
Leave him alone. He isn’t ready for a serious relationship, let alone living with someone. They just split up and then y’all shacked up. He needs some me time.
You’re not in love and moved in together?
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!!!
OMG y’all don’t need to be “in love” to move in with one another smfh y’all got issues, as for the hiding the phone maybe it’s out of respect 
doesn’t necessarily mean he’s hiding something sounds like y’all been cheated on WAY to much as for the condom piece of wrapper there is a total possibility of you missing it while cleaning unless every single thing was lifted and moved and you know for a 
there was absolutely nothing on the floor then there is a chance he’s cheating but give the guy the benefit of the doubt
You weren’t together but you expect him to be celibate? Seriously?
This sounds like such a forced relationship to me Moved in as soon as you got together. Freaks out about a phone being put away. Moved out and then moved right back in- all ~barely~ within a 3 month time frame.
The biggest one: y’all “aren’t in the love stage”. So what are y’all in? The room mates with benefits stage? AND YALL ARENT USING CONDOMS?!? 
dear lord…
that man was barely divorced 4 months when you got in his bed.
I’m sorry. He’s a lying POS. You ain’t even deep and he is already lying. Don’t be naive.
You fall in love or not. As simple as that. I think that relationship is not going to work out at all. Very strange attitudes. He’s lying. If someone gets scared and hides the cellphone… Something is going on, for sure.
I think he didn’t accept the separation with his ex. You’re wasting your time. Run
He’s lying … talk to the ex and you might find that he cheated on her not the other way around
Sis the fact that you had to even ask this!! Been there done that… knowing I’ve done cleaned that area top to bottom. It’s a lie. Go with your gut feeling.
Honestly you already know your answer. There’s red flags. Go with your gut, but don’t let your mind (OR HIM) gaslight you or invalidate your feelings.
Also I learned the hard way…love is NOT all you need in a relationship for it to flourish and prosper. You also need validation, honesty, communication and so much more. You deserve better.
He used a condom and left a wrapper crumb of his lies and dishonesty.
Just leave! I had a similar expierence. If the guy cant make the choice ( and he cant. He is still sleeping with ex-wife, I bet you ), then make tye choice for you both. Let him go. If he comes back, then he really cares. But if not, the only thing you lost was future trouble! ( good riddence!) You did not take him to raise! You need a real man, so kick him to the curb like the dog he is…and go find what you deserve! ( some advice: if your not really in love with the guy, dont stick it out hoping love will grow. )
Sounds like he’s lying and using his ex wife to blame.
Always trust your gut feeling
He’s still with the ex
You know the answer.
A group where we all tell you to leave them
I would RUN as fast as I could been there done that. Honey RUN is all ima say !!
He’s definitely full of sh** ! He’s lying !!