I wouldn’t automatically think it’s how you look so don’t put yourself down like this 
all men watch porn
Even the ones with utterly flawless supermodel wife’s watch it
They like variety and feeling like men
If you want to lose weight do it for you but talk to him and communicate and be proud of who you are - your body created amazing children
My ex did the same thing, not with an extra phone though, just on his phone. Shortly after he started talking to his ex. Hid all of it from me. There was no discussion at that point, I just left.
He is probably just curious and its not a reflection on you. Talk to him about it. Maybe he just wants some more spice in his sex life. Good luck.
Sweetheart Jimbo here don’t take it personal every guy would like to have his wife porno king or something like that but you really want to date somebody or be married to somebody like that hell no I don’t my wife was 61 years old when she died of cancer and she still made me horny to the day she died my wife was a queen size lady show us a factor was overweight she was fluffy more cushioned from pushing my wife Mary and I sex life was kind of difficult because her father sexually abused her for years she lost her virginity to this clown and you know what kind of sex guys went with women he did it to her I want sex life end up being decent don’t compare yourself so all these bows of women and guys I get a little upset when I’m as a guy you know I’m the average size guy always thought I’d want somebody will look it with felt like a horse and I’ve had women tell the otherwise and I’ve had or heard rather medical experts say how difficult is for those guys to have sex it’s like one woman said you want something that big shoved up in you not me you’ve given your husband a beautiful child it’s the person inside don’t worry about your looks my wife recently died in February the biggest thing I want of her now isn’t sex it’s a hug and when we slept together I had my head on her shoulder she was the boss and the queen of my heart Jimbo
Ahh I can understand why you are feeling like this but I don’t think the issue is with your husband it sounds like it’s your own insecurities that are bothering you most. I know it’s tough but most men / women watch porn etc it’s probably not even because he is unattractive to you but because it’s just easier and quicker and life gets in the way and it’s just a quick release. It is just fantasy. If he wanted to cheat trust me he would find a way. Also most men that say they will stop doing it have just got better at hiding it. I think focus on your self and your own self confidence and tell him how this makes you feel but like i said if he wants to do it he will find a way anyway x
Porn wouldn’t piss me off. The burner phone would
Life is usually busy and chaotic with a baby. He might just be taking care of himself because he doesn’t want to bother you with it or wants to let you rest when you do get some down time maybe?
I gotta be honest and say a secret phone seems a bit ott just to simply watch porn…?
I’d be going through that phone with a fine tooth comb girl!!!
So sorry your having this shit dealt to you men can be such shits!
Ask him…why you are no longer enough…I would throw the phone away too…
Maybe lose weight when the baby’s born and then break up with him when your skinnier. Make him suffer
Your feelings are valid. 
Just talk to him about it.
If he looking more at it more then having sex with you its a problem & could be an addiction…
I get where you’re coming from I do. Just know it’s not you. Even tho our minds say other wise.
Talk with him try not to let it become a fight.
We need a release sometimes & that can be a quick way or maybe you wasnt in the mood and he was…
My hubby looks at women similar looks towards me.
Sometimes watch it together if you are comfortable with it.
But yes it can be a major issue… I big cause of a wedge in a relationship
Why is there another phone tho?
That is another issue all in itself
The red flag here to me is not the adult content. It’s finding another phone that it sounds like you had no idea it existed.
Please keep in mind you birthed a whole human being… If he can’t stop his habit on his own he needs to seek help. To break those chains… It becomes an addiction.
I’m so sorry you are going through this 
such a horrible feeling 
Weight can affect any and everything, but men like to see you enjoying yourself. Forget about what your body looks like try to get into it. I have been chubby and overweight before and the insecurities can be overwhelming but my man will tell me his favorite thing is when I let go and enjoy it. He says the sexiest thing for him is seeing pleasure on my face and to hear the sounds I make… talk to him, tell him how you feel and then stop worrying about your weight. Getting healthy and building confidence is what important. Let loose, let go, be a proud thick girl and stop worrying about what fat rolls look like, (atleast in bedroom)lol. Sex should be fun
Men can quite easily indulge in these things and not bat an eyelid 
women how ever relate these instances to love, and Thier own inadequacy about themselves like I’m not good enough etc . The sneaking around an extra phone is noooot cool so I can see why you would feel upset . This is not pleasant for you to go through but it is quite common and you are going to have to work this out with yr hubby so you are going to have to be very brave .
If he dont love you fat then he wont love you skinny either…show him whose the boss!!
I would be upset about the spare phone not him searching adult videos. Who cares it’s porn. If he had nothing to hide he would do it on his phone
Lose that weight if it will make you feel happy with yourself, not because you want to ensure he will love you! Reality is that if one loves someone truly, they love them regardless! Work to accept yourself, who you are, and seek what makes you feel good with yourself, no matter what size you may be! Many a woman becomes skinny, thinking that will make a troubled marriage better, only to find the flaw wasn’t in her, but in him.
I’m sorry you’re going through with this. I know how a lot of women feel about porn. But men are visual creatures… they like to have something to look at. I promise that him watching porn has nothing to do with if he’s attracted to you or not. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to notice attraction to other people. As long as he isn’t acting on it (physically cheating, texting/hooking up with other women) I think you have nothing to worry about. I can understand how it makes you feel as a woman, though.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I found an extra phone in my house and my husband was searching adult videos: Advice?
Just work out for yourself! Let him deal with his issues
My thing is - if he snuck and hid an extra phone into the house to watch adult videos, who knows what more he would/could have done? Communication is key in an relationship.
I honestly feel like I’d rather have my man watching adult videos rather than going out with another woman. Currently 8 and 1/2 months pregnant and trust me, I feel disgusted with myself as well. Just have faith that he is doing it for the right reasons. Men need to “release” tension as well. Better with a phone than a woman I guess is what I’m getting at lol.
I don’t really care if my bf watches porn, I’d be more upset about the secret phone and why he needs to have a secret phone.
Keep doing you ! If he can’t appreciate you as you are since you gave LIFE, shitt he doesn’t deserve you 
It’s a problem that we as women are so comfortable with saying “I’d rather my man do this than this”. Value yourself more. Realize you shouldn’t have to accept anything that brings you negative feelings and thoughts. Understand that all feelings are valid even if nobody understands them.
I would be more worried about who he has been calling on that phone🤦
I thought everybody watched porn😂 so much for that lmao
I’m curious why he had to do that on another phone when he could just do it on his phone and delete the history. Did you check to see if he’s calling or texting anyone on that other phone?
Are you positive it was his phone and not one of his friends that left it there on accident - have you talked to him about it and how it makes you feel - sometimes stress and not liking ourselves is the problem with uncontrollable weight gain or loss bc it puts us in a tailspin that spirals out of control. Remember sweetie your body went thru some major changes while pregnant and now your body is yet again going thru major changes after birth - don’t be so hard on yourself you gave life to another human being just 6mths. ago give yourself some credit girl you will be looking fine before you know it but don’t stress over it it will happen. Good luck sweetie and know you are beautiful no matter your size!
The insecurities lie within yourself not him. He could be out there with someone else but instead he’s just jerkin it to some videos. Men do that anyway whether they have a woman or not and whether she’s 100lbs or 1000lbs. You’re the one with the issue so take care of your mental and physical health before you ruin your marriage over something so small and not worth worrying about. If he wanted someone else he would be with someone else. Clearly he loves all of you no matter how big or little.
Rule of thumb sista…if he isn’t doing anything wrong in his mind then he has nothing to hide whether it pisses you off or not. He hid it because he knows your position on it and he knows he’s wrong. If he’ll lie…and lying by omission, hiding, etc IS still lying…then what else will he lie about? This isn’t an opinion. It’s a fact. Now, How you handle this fact is completely up to you…but I’d beat him at his own game. Trust me, it’s A LOT easier for a woman to pick up a man than it is for a man to pick up a woman…buy a magic wand (Google it if you don’t already know…amazon sells tons of them and it’ll be in by the end of the week if you order tonight), find you some male porn and get after it in bed right in front of his face and when he tries to, in his mind, take advantage of the opportunity say, “oh, no honey. I’m busy with my own fantasies. Use your own porn and your own hand like you were doing before you got busted!” And keep right on doing your thing until you have the best orgasm ever…even if you have to fake it (which you won’t with a wand, I promise!) Then, roll over and go to sleep and don’t say another word about it! 
Listen to me sweetheart, sexy is an ATTITUDE! It has very little to do with looks. You don’t need his validation nearly as much as you think you do. You just need a little courage to beat him at his own game!
Watch the videos with him! Don’t be discouraged. You are trying and he loves you.
Personally, I find porn repugnant for many reasons. What it does/can do to a relationship being just one. Like the lady said above, we don’t have to be grateful that at least it’s “porn and not another woman”. Know your value and demand it!!
F any man that makes you feel less! You do you honey
It’s not ok,period .you don’t deserve that and don’t put up with it
I feel like the main issue isn’t the videos it’s the fact that he’s tried to hide it by using a different phone that you’ve now somehow found? I would definitely be concerned about the deception that is going on.
Why does he have a extra secret phone 
i would dump a bucket of ice water on him first then ask him what’s up ??
You all condeming the man while the wife spreads personal details over the internet is the reason he hides it. I feel sorry for all and anyone you all date your whats wrong with the world talking go girl power when you all would be the first to stab girlfriends in the back… yall could have a fake bake sale
Personally I don’t care if my partner does this. We even do it together. And that’s valid but it’s also valid that it’s not a done thing in other relationships.
My issue would be that he hid it from you to the extent of having a new phone. I’d question that. It doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean he’s cheating (it could be an addiction) but it does mean he’s been dishonest and with held it from you.
Also I get the insecurity thing but try not to be hard on you. You’re beautiful and screw anyone who makes you feel otherwise tbh
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I found an extra phone in my house and my husband was searching adult videos: Advice?
you are beautiful no matter what don’t think less of yourself just because of what he is doing
All men watch porn it has nothing to do with you.as long as hes not talking to other woman you have absolutely nothing to worry about.best wishes.
Well let me tell you, I dont know you at all however we in the mom clan. You carried a baby and gave birth to a miracle. Men can’t do that. Be confident in yourself. Your a momma warrior and while mothering can be tiresome and exasperating, you are beautiful. Dont get discouraged.
If I were you, I would have a conversation with your husband and maybe ask him what draws his attention to watching the adult content, then explain to him how you felt when you discovered it.
Me personally, watching it sometimes to have a visual and sometimes you learn new things, however my ex was excessive, and constantly in the bathroom instead of loving up on me. I discovered what kind of videos he was watching too, and I dont agree to it.
Sorry for blabbing, but dont get discouraged, your beautiful, resilient, uniquely who you are. Hope you have a better tomorrow lady!
It is something to be upset about. It’s not ok. Confidence has nothing to do with it. Except I’m confident it’s harmful
are you have to go through that what I will do is not even look at it I will try to it’s not worth it to be with him like that and try to set up with you what your feelings are. That’s what you should go by and take a step back and see what you should do is look at the stuff that you found he’s watching Dirty music movies he has a second phone in the house and what is he doing is he looking at you does he think you’re beautiful or does he deny you and criticize you all the time if that’s it and you guys are always arguing I would just get up and leave I know what you’re going through I been there done that and going through it still
It’s easy to say and hard to do, but you have to learn to love yourself. Don’t let what someone else says or does define your worth. I would discuss it with him calmly, then decide what is best for you and your child. Staying in an unhealthy relationship where you are not valued can teach a child to expect less from a relationship or that it is okay for someone to treat you badly. I hope you two can work this out.
I’d be concerned that he went to such extremes to hide it and an extra phone that you previously didn’t know about it a huge red flag
Oh wow. I would get rid of him, then go on to reach my desired weight just to let him see what he lost for porn. That’s just me tho. Never Ever let any Male make you doubt your worth and beauty.
Hang in there, I know weight loss is hard. Do it for yourself. I have found that doing things you love that keeps you active, such as gardening, will help you lose weight without the stress. You will also be able to look back at it with pride.
Had a hard time adjusting to fatherhood. He needs to feel sexy and not make heavy demand s on you. Try to relax and breath
Babies are a big adjustment. Give both yourselves a chance to make the adjustments.
May be your a little post part I’m depression. Babies really drain your energy. What is the last good thing you did for your self. Go get your self a pedicure or a massage… Husband s have always haf
It’s not about YOU. Never think his problem with porn has one thing to do with you. He needs to find a good mens support group or a therapist. This has the potential to destroy marriages and I know many men that found help and saved their marriages. It’s an addiction like any other. Let him know you love him, but this is not ok with you.
My man watches it to what I would say is maybe just maybe try to watch it with him and see what happens my man does it because he likes watching other people and he gets tips and tricks . I’d be more worried if you had found him on rating sites some guys just enjoy the fantasy of it and content he is with you sweetie that means he wants you and still Fancy’s you just may enjoy the act of watching and for us insecure lady’s it’s sometimes hard to understand . Hope that may help a little
Maybe talk to him about it and get his perspective and let him know how you feel. My hub watches porn just because he likes it. I’ve watched it with him a few times and neither of us expected the other to look like or act out what we were watching. He’s never treated me with anything, but respect so if he wants porn…so be it.
Have a talk with him about what it means. It may be a man is masturbating to what he sees. It may go no farther but could also go to other addictions. First talk.
Don’t EVER think that your weight gain gives your hubs a pass to watch porn. This issue should have been discussed before you got married so he was clear on your feelings about it. And they are viable. For whatever reason you don’t like it, that should be good enough for him. It’s not like if you were skinny you’d automatically think it’s ok. To me, anything that makes your hubs lust over a woman is cheating and that’s a Biblical statement. You have every right to feel the way you want about every issue in life no matter what you weigh. Your weight isn’t the issue and don’t ever let him turn it on you. You deserve every good thing and dont ever forget it.
Please do NOT blame yourself for your husband’s sin choice. I guarantee this was happening for a very long time .
Check out EAT LIKE A BEAR.
I would bring him the phone and tell him either the phone goes , or he goes, then insists on marriage counseling. I am sorry, but he is not using that phone only for porn. I would give him a ultimatum.
Is not you. Is about his sexuality. Is when you are not sure anymore of your potential and you try to find interest in those things, or physical reasons. Or simply addiction. I probably could ask me some questions if He watches gay porn, probably there is something He is discovering on himself. I Think you should talk with him anyway, and the second Phone is the Real problem.
I would bring the phone to him and walk away. See what he does.your not in a good place right now. U need to get stronger if he does nothing doesnt talk about it. Balls in your court. My thought has always been if this isnt enough move on. That’s not real life. Half that crap is photo shopped or saline. At some point u gotta luve in reality.
Hey all of you …hell no its not ok, they just had a baby and he has the audacity to do that, he should be loving on her and the baby no matter what!!!
From a mans perspective… it’s not all about looks why we watch porn… sometimes it’s to fill boredom and really once kids are involved you cant bang all the time. So unless it is becoming a burden in the sense it is excessive. If you feel it is bugging you talk to him to let him know. theres a reason he is still with you. As he had kids with you continues to work hard for you and your kids. Also sometimes people have links they like to Express but their better half wouldnt like it or is their cup of tea. Lastly never think that your not beautiful. You are. No matter what.
Burner phone usually means communicating with people outside of your relationship. I’m sorry.
Tell him everything you just told us,for starters.be the first one to be honest
The only issue I have with this is the extra phone. Did you know there was another phone… anyway most men will watch porn. It sounds like you need to work on yourself. You’ll need to give yourself self care and learn to love yourself no matter where your weight is. If your husband loves you unconditionally then he will accept you at any weight. If I found out my man ( if I had one ) was watching porn I’d find out what he was watching and mimick it depending on the porn. Men love when their women get extremely naughty for them. He maybe surprise you how turned on he’d be for you. I wouldn’t read into it too much. Just work on yourself. Heal what’s bothering you. Good luck.
Been married for nearly 17 years. My husband has always been an AVID adult themed video guy. Honestly it’s whatever to me (we are post child rearing) but don’t do yourself a disservice either. Is he aware of how you feel about his video watching? Is he aware of your feelings about your body? Communication is C.R.I.T.C.A.L especially now being post partum, is he capable of listening AND understanding? Normally it could be as simple as him not wanting to “bother” you with his needs. Please, tàlk to him.
Why are you blaming yourself? He is the one at fault. It is not ok what he is doing.
Nothing you say will change the fact that he just likes it some men just get aroused by these porn but it doesn’t mean he is cheating or thinks that you are not attractive just let it be go with the flo you will be surprised at how he opens up and slowly let’s you into his world
I’d be more concerned about the 2nd phone then the porn. Why would he have a “secret” phone?
Get over it luv, all men watch some porn from time to time, it is not an insult on you personally…porn is a fantasy world, its not representative of real life at all, it is a fantasy out let for him, he might whack himself off over it but it does not mean he does not love you, better he watch some porn at home than go out in real life and seek out other women, its harmless and nothing more than a fantasy for him, a healthy mental outlet for him, in nature the male animal is programmed to breed, he seeks out porn instead of seeking out other women to be breed with and satisfies his primal urges, don’t worry about it, if you make a fuss about it to him, he will become ashamed, watch some porn with him, you might get some new ideas to refresh your love life and on the other hand you both will see how fake and unrealistic it is and make jokes about it together ( me and my wife do ), as if any man could keep going and plough a woman for one hour in one go without a break, not humanly possible, he is just a typical male.
It’s so sad to compare yourself to people working for money to cause lust for someone else and it’s all fake. Even the porn stars are hurting and usually on drugs to get through life. It’s an addiction that can and does destroy marriage. Why the secrecy? FirstLight is where porn addicts can get help. Your body produces a beautiful child. He may watch porn even if you get to where you want to be. I’m so sorry you are feeling less than
I’d be more worried about the call history
NEVER let anyone else define you.
As long as they’re adult videos, move on. Not an issue unless u make it one
Call him out for having a hidden phone!
Use his phone to search up some porn of your own and see if he says anything.
Use it to buy stuff on his card through amazon Hehehe
It’s just porn. There could be worse that he’s doing
If he isn’t contacting anyone with it, or trying to, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Tell him to hit the road. Such a lack of respect for you!
Learn to love the body you have. Maybe watch it with him ?
I’d have a discussion about it with him.
And why is everyone trying to tell her what a piece of garbage he is and get her to leave her husband so quickly? This is how so many families be have been broken up. Soany of our children are in 1 parent homes…someone always has to be the bad guy/girl…someone is cheating ECT…dude…you found a burner phone…big deal all my kids have them because I insist on it…along with their “regular phones”…talk to the man, don’t attack him T A L K. You will find the simplest answer is the right one more often than not…
Listen. You said yourself, you’re suffering post partum, you’ve gained weight that can be lost easy if u beat it, and your husband’s trying to beat it for u in the meantime.
Stick it out, watch them w him, make the videos seem trivial because he has you, and loves his family. Sex is primate urges, civility is the ambition. Forgive him/ talk don’t yell, watch some twerk shows or whatever, get down w your badself DOY
It’s a man thing …drives me crazy,I hate it But honestly it’s just men.
Damn a guy can’t beat his meat in peace anymore
Hm story of my life 
talk to your hubby, not strangers on the internet😆
get a babysitter☮
watch some porn with him😍
COMMUNICATE❗
enjoy love🖤
Dave Elnyczky are you married if so what dose she thank of it
I think you need to talk to him about your insecurities.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I found an extra phone in my house and my husband was searching adult videos: Advice?
How about a polite conversation with the person you married. Explain that hurts your feelings and that you are working on getting healthier. Maybe workout a bit together. You can do it!
I don’t think it has anything to do with you, I love my man, but I still like to pleasure myself sometimes, and a bit of porn sometimes helps. I’m sure he loves you, but especially when you have a young child its not always easy to enjoy each other like you used to do. He’s not secretly calling anyone, he’s not hooking up, he’s doing a little self care of his own. Talk to him, be understanding, a little communication can go along way.
Communication is the best Thing to a good marriage
he should be very pleased you
just had his child
Whom ever is posing the " questions" …just go to a therapist…or Dr, Phil show