I’m sure if you had a conversation with your husband, you would find that this doesn’t mean he doesn’t find you attractive. Infact it may be the opposite. Its no secret that our sex life can take a bit of a nose dive after having a baby, and it may be his way of dealing with this without putting pressure on you. The fact that its on an extra phone shows he’s embarrassed by it. Communication is the only way you’re going to resolve this. Your body has just been through something incredible and you’re already on the track to getting yourself to a place where you feel confident again, keep going mamma, you’ve got this x
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He is one sick puppy. You deserve better. Quit blaming your self. You need to get away from him. Starting over is scary but I have started over and my life is better without him.
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It starts with looking, oh I was looking then it didn’t mean anything.
U now 1st things 1st that man is an adult just because he is married doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the right to enjoy things even if it is porn 2nd men love porn and we watch it all the time and it has nothing to do with the women we are with so everyone telling her to leave him needs to stop 3rd that’s one of the reasons we do hide it sometimes because everyone turns into a Criminal judge the minute they now u watch it and enjoy like it’s a freaking crime 4th maybe if more people watched it and to a lesson or two it just might spice up ya love life so don’t worry about ya husband your relationship with him is just fine but since it does bother you yes indeed sit down and talk about it with him I’m sure he will be willing to else meet u in the middle on a compromise
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Communication is key… Talk untill both of you are so exhausted from talking you need sleep. Yes this may be hard with baby but make the time. There are so many different factors at play you can’t assume the worst. He is likely embarrassed hence why there was a secret extra phone. Be kind and let him know you found it but want to talk. Don’t take it personally even if he goes that way… It’s on him not you 
keep smiling, have a shower and take some deep breaths
I understand we has women take it personal I’m with u I think it so disgusting ask him how would he feel if u was doing that Stay strong you can do whatever u need to do But self care comes first
Be nice to ask he want with to work out. Just an sharing.
Men are dumb. They dont understand what woman go through. U just had a baby. Ur healthy. Not everyone can do that. Feel sexy as a woman. Ur hot! Change ur mentality just focus on u and ur baby and happiness 
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Listen. You said yourself, you’re suffering post partum, you’ve gained weight that can be lost easy if u beat it, and your husband’s trying to beat it for u in the meantime.
Stick it out, watch them w him, make the videos seem trivial because he has you, and loves his family. Sex is primate urges, civility is the ambition. Forgive him/ talk don’t yell, watch some twerk shows or whatever, get down w your badself DOY
many men get hooked on porn, it gets to be an addiction usually because it’s unrealistic and so far from reality. Porn ‘stars’, have no boundaries because they are getting paid to ACT. it has nothing to do with how you look or you as a person, i understand that you are comparing yourself to these people in the video’s but i doubt your husband wants any of those women in the video’s, because they are whores and disgusting. it’s all about the fantasy. if he doesn’t know how you are feeling after giving birth then that’s very insensitive of him. talk to him and let him know how it’s making you feel. But as far as how you feel about yourself, GOOD ON YOU for being a good mum, wife, person, and for being conscious of looking after you and the family. He needs to man up and start looking after you and your child too. xxxxxx
You should be talking to him about it not the internet. The internets opinions won’t consider your personal relationship and personalities and underlying issues and will inevitably ruin your marriage.
My mother felt fat and insecure… she spoke to her husband about it; he told her what she needed to hear to get over it. She’s fine now 
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Try not to make it about you because 99% of the time, a man looking at porn has nothing to do with you. So don’t make yourself feel bad if you don’t have to.
I would Defintely confront him. If he knew it was something you weren’t comfortable with, that’s a problem. If he didn’t know, then now is the time to have that talk.
I can relate to this, my ex fiancee was sneaking around with porn crap on his phone, when we moved to California things changed, I found out he went on a dating site while we were still together. With stealing money from me and these little tidbits popping up I ended it
Did you use the phone to call and make an appointment to get your nails done ?
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I wouldnt worry about it as long as he’s not on hook up sites like tinder or POF.
Would you rather have him cheating on you? No? Then let him be 
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Its the fact this was a extra phone that is screaming 
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Buy your self some sexy lingerie and wear heals. It might help.
No matter if you are 100lbs or 300lbs, men will watch porn. It doesn’t mean he loves you less or finds you less desirable. He’s literally just a man… and that’s what they do.
Men need to have sex. If hes not getting any from you than hes going to jerk it. If I’m not feeling attractive about myself or on my time of the month I just help him out 
if you know what I mean. At least he’s not being mean or forceful. I knew someone who’s husband was mean to her because she wasn’t ready for sex after having a baby. If it’s just a body image issue then wait till your in bed with the lights off and surprise him. He’s not a bad guy he’s just apparently not getting laid. Lol if the extra phone doesn’t have any signs of cheating then you’re fine.
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I Would Say Find Someone Who You Can Trust To Take Care Of Your Baby While You Take Care Of Yourself Seems Like You’ve Been Having A Hard Time Taking Care Of Your Baby Treat Yourself To A Spa Day And Relax And Take Your Mind Off Things Get Your Hair And Nails Done Do Things To Make You Feel Good And Boost Your Confidence Then Plan A Nice Evening Or Weeknd For You And Your Husband And Rock His World Make Him Forget About That Porn For The Night Or Weeknd
Porn who cares. I’d be checking to see who he was calling and texting with that phone
I would be more bothered by an extra phone.
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Maybe it’s extra so the regular phone doesn’t get a virus ? 
lol just a thought
I think you’re concerned about the wrong thing here, why does he have an extra phone?
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Let that man beat off in peace
I’ve never understood why women think it’s bad. You probably watch sex scenes and read dirty books and if you don’t you should start lol. It’s just porn. Nothing to do with you.
Maybe he knows how you feel about yourself and didnt want you to be upset. I wonder if maybe the postpartum is killing your libido compared to his and hes just watching to take place of that. But my question is is that phone active is just using wifi because active brings up heavy suspicion
The fact that he’s hiding it would piss me off.
Confront him.
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My husband watched porn on his computer. We went to xxx rated drive in movies together. That is perfectly okay. What is not okay is that her husband is hiding not just that he is watching porn but that he has a hidden phone!
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smash the phone and be done with it
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I agree with that Pam Omans.!!!
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So 4 idiots actually laughed at this post?
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He’s not desiring the women on those videos, trust me. Sometimes we want to release but not with someone else. We are tired to put the work in. And I’m sure you are tired with a6 month old lately and he don’t want to bother you.
Look, he’s taking care of stress without cheating. That is something you DONT want to go thru.
My ex watched it, and I do too. I don’t always want to be touched and stuff but want the feeling.
Porn is just means of visual stimuli.
And I have extra phones that I use as internet access and YouTube. It’s my previous phones I had before upgrade.
Well first of all , it takes about a year and half for your body to go back normal and your body is still not 100 % like before the baby . That’s life ! Second your husband not telling you about a second phone is kinda worrisome, he’s already being deceitful. Ok , he’s watching porn , instead of getting upset start watching it too . But don’t hide it, watch it during supper, cleaning etc hahah he’ll get the point 
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You maybe should be talking to him about this instead of fb…just a thought. He doesn’t know how bad it hurts you unless you tell him.
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What one of yalls friends left it at your house
Start watching Magic Mike the movie in front of him and smile and really enjoy the movie and nevermind him let him watch it you do your own thing . ignore the boys and they will come to you so if he wants to be an ass then let him be confident in Who You Are just do you and like I said watch Magic Mike and enjoy it
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The fact that he’s hiding it on a second phone means he knows he’s in the wrong with this behavior. First and foremost you are a mother but not his mother. I would hand him the phone, tell him it’s unacceptable to you and you expect him to break this habit and be the loving man and father you thought he was when you married him.
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Pay no mind to anyone telling you to do anything that does not come from a place of love and resolve. Talk to him. Who knows whats going on with him. Could be that he knows you’re not feeling yourself right now and doesn’t want to pressure you. Remember he is involved in this relationship too. He’s literally helpless. Men have no idea what women go through after having a baby. Everything in our body changes, even our sex drive. While Everything in their body stays the same. Even their sex drive. In fact, some men have a higher sex drive after their wives have a baby. Sending love. Hope it all works out. 
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Ok. TO THOSE OF YOU WHO LAUGHED, shame on you. As women, I don’t think I’ve ever met a single person who hasn’t at one time not felt attractive, even if you are. Have you not had a baby? After I had my son I felt so incredibly disconnected from my body. My stomach wasn’t my own, is gained an large amount of extra weight because of pre-eclampsia, and water retention. My son came out face presentation, and I felt… I felt, i dunno… nonhuman for a while after giving birth. How dare you laugh at her. This group should be more supportive of women, I thought that was the point of this page, at least partially.
On that, if it’s about the porn, I personally don’t care, I watch porn, my significant other watches porn. But after I had my son, I was definitely sensitive and I felt so displaced from my body and had zero confidence.
Although, I do have to say, the extra phone is a strange touch.
I think I would be more mad at the fact that there is a whole nother phone that is being hidden…sounds like you both need to sit down and have a conversation.
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unpopular opinion: if YOU act so insecure to the point where you act like you don’t want him to actually SEE your body or anything, then there’s a chance he doesn’t WANT to do anything because you act so disgusted with yourself… I mean, if you’re sitting there eating a meal that’s mostly okay but could use some improvement, & the person that cooked the meal sits there gagging every time they take a bite, you’re probably not gunna eat or finish the meal
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Its Porn… Its not cheating, now if he talks to other women then you have a problem
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It’s the hiding of the phone that would be my problem not the content, hell watch it with him🤷🏽♀️
Step up your game in the bedroom. Maybe he won’t need to look someplace else for entertainment.
Hide the phone and make him embarrass himself asking if you have found it. Then discuss.
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I’d be more concerned about the secret phone to be honest. What else is he doing besides watching porn? I don’t understand having a secret phone I guess.
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I don’t think it’s okay at all ! It does hurt your feelings and your self-esteem! But I really don’t think it’s about you at all .It’s usually about them so don’t let yourself feel bad about it !You go on and make yourself happy and do what it takes to make you feel good about yourself. Exercise and eat right is a great start . You had that beautiful baby with him he needs to appreciate you and spend time with you and help you to feel better about yourself by helping you to work out or walk with you & the baby. Compliment you & love you the way he should. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the woman it’s all about the insecurity of the little boy and that is disrespectful. He needs to learn to put that energy and time into your relationship. If they want a better relationship then they need to do the work it takes to help make it better.
Talk to your husband, not FB
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Pretty sure the extra phone is the real problem! It is what you think it is! Just like when they switch phone companies & are no longer on your family plan…theyre hiding
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I have no issue with it long as it is not hidden
I would talk with him how u feel about it n tell him ur self esteem not so great right now may make huge difference
I feel, this is only my opinion, that when your man is getting off to other woman it definitely hurts your feelings IDC who ya are. Come have sex with your significant other instead of turning to porn. It’s very hurtful, I think I’m pretty damn good looking and you wanna try something different then tell me! We are not mind reader’s. Also I always initiate sex
No he went out bought a “secret” phone and you found porn wonder what else? Did you check the app history ?? Take the phone its yours know… AND this is his issue don’t allow ANYONE degrade you or EVER make you feel not worthy, nasty addiction and it HURTS and they don’t care …
Is ot okay and he knows it. He wouldn’t have another phone if he thought it was ok. Nothing wrong with you, you are doing a great job! Try to lighten up on yourself and dont take his porn watching as a sign that there ia something wrong with you, just the opposite!
Take the ohond and hide jt under the wheel slace where you jeep the soare tire.
Extra phone…seriously??? Porn on it is the least of the problem.
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The porn ain’t nothing and if it was on his regular cell phone no biggie. I would be more worried about the second phone that he is probably calling other females he might be flirting or having an affair with. And don’t you ever feel bad about your weight. Your body went thru pregnancy and it takes a damn long time to get rid of the weight. And if you are depressed it becomes that much harder. If he makes you feel this way tell him if he can’t help you send him To the curb
Uh if he’s doing it in secret….he knows it’s wrong🤷🏼♀️
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The extra phone would definitely be the main issue for me!
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He should not be doing this, it’s a betrayal. It shouldn’t matter if you gain weight or not. That happens to some people, no one should be made to feel bad about that. It’s not a reason for looking at that behind your back.
I’d be more concerned about the extra phone. If it’s an option, make arrangements for your child(ren) that way you’re able to sit down and talk with your husband about all of this without any distractions.
Please connect with me! I can help you feel good in your own skin!
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Talk to your husband about it. Lying-secrets are never ok. This is my perspective on the average guy with porn, sometimes they only want to worry about pleasing themselves. It takes work and effort to please another person sexually. Sometimes, It’s ok to have something that is just theirs. Now if he is doing this every single day or it bothers you that much, there is a problem.
About you. The only person who can fix you is you. If you don’t like the way you look DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Start working out, take better care of yourself, get a hobby besides being a Mom.
Leave your husband with the baby for a day so they can bond.
Explain to your husband why porn hurts you. I don’t think most people think of porn as real people. It’s a fantasy world.
Oh hell no a hidden phone…go with your gut
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The sneakiness is definitely the part that would make me feel uncomfortable! If he wanted to watch porn he should be open about it with you. Or maybe ask you if you wanted to watch it with him to spice things up? Sometimes things get a little stale when you’ve been together for a long time and that’s totally normal. I think you should have a long talk with him and get some answers. I just want to say you absolutely are enough 
Can you… I dont know… talk to him about it? Usually men have no idea until we tell them these things…
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The red flag isn’t necessarily the porn in this instance hun, but I understand why you are upset about it. You need to figure out why the heck there is another phone in the house that you were unaware of. I mean if he is watching porn knowing you don’t like it then what else is he doing on this extra phone. Sorry but thats just how I would process it.
Just try to have a or another conversation about it, just make sure it doesn’t seem like you are attacking him. That never works out well.
Its just porn. ALL MEN WATCH PORN. try watching it with him
Porn ruins lives. More addictive to the brain than heroin. Been through it with my ex. Like any other addict……he let his family fall apart because of his addiction.
She didn’t say the phone was hidden. She said it was an extra phone in the house. First off what that man does in his alone time is his business. If he wants to watch porn let him. Was there any problems before you found out? If not then you’re creating a problem due to the lack of your own confidence.
The watching porn is not what would bother me but the fact he has an extra phone that you didn’t even know existed is a massive red flag to me , you need to have a chat to him and ask why he has an extra phone and is it only for watching porn or is it for other purposes , and ask him to show you what is on it x
Speak with him… Its completely normal but speak with him about how you feel and girl get into some counseling…
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The issue is HIM not you!!
Porn addiction is real and destroys families.
Girl. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! NEVER FORGET THAT. plus, you can make humans!
It’s not “normal”, it’s not ok & you have EVERY right to be upset. Lusting after other women should NEVER be acceptable. I’m sorry
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Did you have a discussion about this, and how you specifically are feeling? It’s not cool that your SO is hiding this from you and he definitely needs to be addressed, but if he doesn’t know about how you’re feeling internally, you can’t blame him for your lack of communication in that aspect.
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I don’t see why someone would need a whole another phone just for porn. It’s so easy to delete out of your browser. I would think there’s more too it than just porn. Check the contacts. Recent calls. I would 100% confront him about it.
Watch that phone! Put it back and watch if the only issue is videos, it’s not that he doesn’t want u its he enjoys pleasing himself
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Men watch porn yes but when they have a hidden phone or if you had told him how it makes you feel and he still does it that’s when it becomes a problem. I say talk to him. If it doesn’t change then just focus on you. At the end of everything you only have yourself. Love yourself for who you are and eventually he will either follow or leave. Everything happens for a reason.
Do you go through his current personal phone? It’s kind of weird there’s a random secret phone hidden 
I’m not saying what he’s doing is ok, but I would think the only reason to have a secret hidden phone is because you’re significant other is going through your current device.
She never said hidden just extra. Nobody here has their old phones laying around? We have several and they were connected to the WiFi. I’m not going to tak crap about a man watching porn. She didn’t say that’s all he does or that they aren’t enjoying sex together. Just that he watched them. Sometimes people don’t have it in them to have sex with other people at that moment. Her weight is her issue. If she’s unhappy then she will work to make herself happy. Real love doesn’t stop Bc you put on weight having a child. She’s tying her weight into him pleasing himself. He’s prob been doing that all along. But she’s not gonna get any answers from us. She needs to spine up and have a conversation with her partner. That she saw the videos and she felt bad after seeing them.
I love how everyone always says it’s normal… Why is it most of the time it’s they gut who is watching it or obsessed with it? If it’s so normal, why is there never posts about woman sneaking and watching porn?
It does not matter what other women are okay with… This is YOUR marriage. YOUR life. YOUR boundaries. He has been lying and disrespecting you and your marriage period. There is no trust there so now it’s up to you to decide what you are willing to accept.
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You need to talk to him and express your feelings. They are perfectly valid.
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If it’s just about the adult videos, how about trying watching adult videos with him if it’s ok with you. Make it part of foreplay or something. Maybe he’s just embarrassed about it.
If it’s about him having a secret phone, be wary but you can casually ask him about it (hey, is this yours?). If he’s contacting someone else through the secret phone with illicit/romantic/adulterous messages, yes you should be concerned. Find calm ways of asking him about it. Give him a chance to explain.
By the way, how is your communication with him?
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I hate to be “that girl”, but I’d be a little more worried about the fact that he has a secret phone than him watching porn …
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In my opinion i don’t care, I personally don’t want to hear about it but I know it’s done and to me I’m ok with it. Like others have stated it’s your marriage and you decide what you are ok with but you need to talk to him. At the same don’t make him pay for your insecurities. Please don’t take that the wrong way. This could have nothing to do with your weight. He could’ve been doing it long before the baby, or the weight and you are just now finding out.
Hiding the phone = guilt. He knows he shouldn’t be doing it. It IS cheating if BOTH partners do not agree to pornography. The fact that he has a burner phone though, that’s a whole other issues, possibly greater that you need to worry about.
My ex was talking to other women & telling them how beautiful they were when I was pregnant & I was huge nearly ready to go in to hospital at the time, I wouldn’t have given a shit if he was looking at porn but what he did hurt, I’m so glad I don’t care about him anymore
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Just keep working on yourself. You need to be happy with yourself.
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Make a video I guarantee he will watch it over and over. My main concern is y he has an extra phone…
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I think you just need to talk him.
Yeah, his chances of getting with any of those actresses is slim and none, and none has a big lead.
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If he has an extra phone that he’s been hiding from you I can guarantee you that him searching for porn is the least of your problems
It’s porn, it’s not a huge deal. Every man watches porn, and if you think he doesn’t, he’s lying. Watch it with him, find videos you both like
I’d put the phone in one of those cash for phones things. Don’t say a word about having found the phone. If he gets up the balls to ask where it is, tell him it’s gone.
I’m pretty sure guys have drop phones to call and text side chicks and not for porn.
I’d focus more on doing things with your husband that will develop an emotional bond. Also men are programmed with a hero complex. So if you want to get him to respond more to you play into that.
It’s just porn. Let him look. Maybe look with him. It’s hard remembering how to be sexy after baby. Your worth isn’t confined to some ridiculous metric of physical attractiveness.