Hi ladies. I am really struggling. My husband and I have been together for a while now. We have a six-year-old and a 19-month-old and a 3rd kiddo on the way. We want four children, so we are ecstatic. I went to my first ultrasound and Drs appointment. We are ten weeks today. I got a call from the nurse to tell me my chlamydia came back positive. And I fell to the floor crying. I called my husband to confront him, and he said: “he’s never been with anyone but me.” But we clearly know that is a lie. He will not come forward with the truth, and I am absolutely mad and embarrassed. What do I do now? Dumb question, I know. But it clearly did not come from me. I want to leave, but we have two kids, and I live 70 miles from my family and friends. Help Hi ladies. I am really struggling. My husband and I have been together for a while now. We have a 6-year-old and a 19-month-old and a 3rd kiddo on the way. We want four children, so we are ecstatic. I went to my first ultrasound and Drs appointment. We are ten weeks today. I got a call from the nurse to tell me my chlamydia came back positive. And I fell to the floor crying. I called my husband to confront him, and he said: “he’s never been with anyone but me.” But we clearly know that is a lie. He will not come forward with the truth, and I am absolutely mad and embarrassed. What do I do now? Dumb question, I know. But it clearly did not come from me. I want to leave, but we have two kids, and I live 70 miles from my family and friends. Help
He clearly has stuck it somewhere
Ask your family and friends to help you move back. If he won’t even admit it then what’s the point?
He’s clearly cheated… If you’ve beeb faithful, an std can’t just appear from nothing. … Dump his ass
Trial separation? Until someone can prove to me that they have the integrity to admit when they fuck up I dont want to be around them
Lies continue when you accept and tolerate them.
I feel for you and I am Praying you through this
You get a test when pregnant so be after
Tell him until you get the answers to why you got chlamydia he has to leave
Sometimes there can be false positive results. Also this is a true story one of my friends labs were mixed up. I’d get re-tested just to be sure.
Wow that’s hard… Fuckin men in praying you find comfort and answers
Honey you have to leave unfortunately not only did he put you at risk he put your unborn . One thing he cheat and to cheat unprotected … unless you cheated or the results are wrong he cheated z I’m sorry I know that tough and it hurt But it could be something he give you that’s you can’t cure and what about your babies
If you love him and he told the truth you could work on it but I always think once they cheat they’ll do it again and he has no respect for you
Ask your family and friends for support if theres any they can help you, get out of that relationship asap
Have him get tested!!! N if hes postitive he cheated!! N thsts messed up it’s dangerous ur pregnant n why wud he have unprotected sex… putting ur life in danger n ur kids… AIDS is not curable
Probably when you was pregnant men get lonely and spit the dummy
Honey it doesn’t matter if he admits it. He clearly didn’t care about putting your life or your unborn childs life at risk by having unprotected sex with someone else. 70 miles isn’t forever, pack up and go. You’ve got all the proof you need.
Don’t ever stay just because you have kids! If he won’t admit it or if he does admit it but you feel you c at forgive him then gets yourself together and leave! Move closer to family if you have to.
Have them do a re-test. Maybe there was some sort of mix-up, it happens. If that one comes back positive, then at least you’ll know 100% that he’s lying.
Hed have to tell that person n if their is more than one he has to tell them this is serious
Don’t let him waste any more of your time he’ll regret it but dont give in move on by yourself with your kids
Have him get tested. If he has it, you have your answer. Otherwise, I’d get yourself a second test.
Chlamydia can sit dormant for YEARS! When’s the last time you were tested for it?
I had my dr call me and tell me the same thing and I told her it was wrong and demanded a re test! She re tested it… 3 times because it came back negative and it came back negative all 3 times. Go get a re test just to be sure!!
Get retested and have him get tested.
I’m so sorry to hear this, but you need to make a decision, he obviously doesn’t care that he gave you a std and not only that but he gave it to his unborn child what a coward. I think it’s best to leave
I mean if he’s not even willing to admit it he won’t change plus he was having unprotected sex he’s lucky he didn’t get the other girl pregnant also.
It could be a lab issue. Ask him to go with you and get tested. I wish your dr. Had given you more information.
Um hello. If it aint u . Then yeah. sucks sorry to hear. Some men are dogs . So u forgive or goodbye pretty much.
Chlamydia can lay dormant in women for years so you didn’t necessarily get it from your husband. That being said, you clearly don’t trust him anyway as you have assumed he’s cheating so you need to get rid. A relationship without trust is not a relationship!
STDs can lie dormant. Did yall not take sex ed? Have him get tested. He may not have cheated.
Make sure you have family you can stay with and leave. You shouldnt have to go thru that esp while carrying his child.
Sometimes you can get a false positive when pregnant. I would recommend getting tested again and also for him to get tested. If he comes back positive, then you know your answer about cheating.
I would have him get tested and if he has it then you know. Don’t stay with a man like that.
Get him tested I’ve been misdiagnosed with that and come to find out I had cancer they misread the pap it was abnormal and not what they said …
Before you jump to conclusions you should get retested. When I was pregnant with my son this very same thing happened to me. I was devasted and thought he had cheated. He swore he didn’t and made me go back to the dr. I was retested and it came back negative. False positives do happen. If the second comes back positive then he definitely cheated and the only one who can make a decision about staying or leaving is you and that is a tough one.
Go get tested together.
Or maybe he didn’t cheat and you got years back ?
I would ask that he get tested an they retest you.
Get treatment and leave his cheating ass!
Once a cheater. Always a repeater!!!
Eww that’s nasty make him get tested leave his cheating ass
My first husband did the same to me when i was pregnant with our son… The dr confronted him herself and told him there’s something you need to tell your wife because 3 weeks ago she had a clean pap… Leave I wish I would have before i did contact your family and go
If your man is gonna cheat and lie about it, why keep your precious kiddos around him even if you want to keep them in a together home. I am living proof that staying together for the kids causes more issues and hurts your kids more than seeing you single and happy. Instead of together with their father, unhappy, insecure and wanting to be somewhere else. I know all too well the feeling of finding out you’ve been cheated on. It feels awful now but hell, if he really thinks Miss Chlamydia is better enough than you that he would hit it and hide it even after being SO OBVIOUSLY caught, that’s enough of that sis. Move on and bloom and teach your kids to now stay with/keep around liars and toxic people. If you’re doubting it now, you definitely will be after baby 3 is born and maybe baby 4 is made. I’m pro leave his dusty ass. Much love and hope all gets puts back together whichever way you choose.
Both of u gettested, and get the results together. Then sit down with dr and ask how u could have gotten it. Maybe there is a explanation that doesnt involve home wreckers.
It could be a false positive. They told me I had hep c when I was in labor. That was a false positive I got retested and its negative
Haven’t ya ever watched mean girls? You could get chlamydia and die
I would leave leave leave … the fact that he was A)Willing to put you and the baby at risk by having unprotected sex and B)Is caught and STILL not being honest… what kind of marriage do you have left to save??
I had 4 kids under 4 n waited n waited thru alot!!!, than when I left I was the bad one when kids were older… youngest 5 yrsold cudnt do it no more!!! I had no family they were 125miles away n further U DO IT!! I got no public assistant cause I worked hard n made 35$ too much, no child support!!! YOU CAN DO IT!! NOT EASY BUT BETTER BE ALONE THAN FEEL USELESS N USED
Maybe ask ur dr … When i eas pregnant with my first child of course i asked all kinds of questions about how u can get them how are they currable and so on … I have had 3 children already they have all told me u can get chlamydia from public toilet seats … I have never had any std thank god … But i will not and never use a public restroom
Have him tested if he got it I’d leave his ass and reached out to any family and friends. If he doesn’t have it well then I don’t know
I’ve been cheated on while pregnant and found out and he lied and said it was my fault and he could do no wrong. It was even way worse than that and I ended up leaving him and serving him with protection papers for myself and my kids. That was 5 years ago and now he is in prison. I basically raised my babies alone anyway so you can and most certainly do it! You should never not feel like you and your kids are enough!!
Go together and get tested, I’d do planned parenthood in the area for the std check. so at least that way you don’t have to have your business face to face with drs you’ll have to see regularly during the pregnancy
Get rechecked and have ur hubby tested also.
Ask him to go with you to both get tested. Get another test yourself as well. If he has it and lied to you… Idk cuz it’s not my sitch its yours. 2 kids already with a 3rd on the way… Idk dude. Counseling might help.
Both you AND him get re-tested. I was told the same thing during my pregnancy. Both of us got tested and my husband and I both came back negative a second time. Less than a week later we found out all I had was a severe UTI. Don’t just pack everything up and cry until you both get tested again. Medical makes mistakes often.
It can lay dormant for years with no symptoms, he will need to be tested regardless because you have it and could of passed it on to him
I got a false positive when I was pregnant with my daughter. Make them retest you! And get hubby tested
You should both get tested. Sometimes it can take years for an std to show up. Don’t accuse until you know, and even if he does come back positive, he could have got it from you… I’m not bashing you at all, just get educated on stds.
Isnt Chlamydia one of the ones you can get without sexual contact? Like from a toilet seat etc??
I told my husband if he had given me something because of his ex, pregnant or not I’d leave him. It’s disgusting, especially when they cheat and give it to you.
I am not gonna lie, I’d be packing my bags and driving to the nearest relatives house.
The fact that he doesn’t even admit to it to try to reconcile or fix it or ANYTHING, and instead gaslights tf out of you and tries to blame it on you (never mind the cheating in the first place,) tells you all that you need to know. Run. Away.
I would get retested.
Just LEAVE. My mom says all the time regardless of how many kids you have if you’re not happy LEAVE. He’s not going to tell you but you can do your own investigation, if you have access to phone records, watch his GPS if he has an iPhone, check his emails, etc. social media now and days it’s not hard anymore to figure something out! I would feel embarrassed too so either you’re going to make him tell you so y’all can get over whatever it is y’all having going on between y’all problem wise, if a man is cheating it’s because he’s being selfish. I wouldn’t stay, he might just do it again .
False positive test? ask him to get tested too then go from there.
Have him tested and that’s the only way you can find out it’s from him. If not, like others said, it could be a false positive and you could have contracted from a public toilet seat.
Okay. 1. Don’t make any final decisions while you’re upset. Take time, process everything. Make a plan, and make one for if you decide to stay. Communicate. Ask questions and get answers. Hes going to be mad, you’re going to be upset. Be patient work through it. I think that clamidia is something that you can have and not 100% know so maybe this was something that happened a while ago… (still not okay.) But incredibly possible that this wasnt recent and he hasnt done anything since you’ve been pregnant. My friend had positive results and asked for a retest and it came back negative. They did it again and it was negative. It could be nothing. If you have to leave 70 miles isnt too far to travel. Although it isnt ideal and is a good way to go by yourself with kids it’s possible. If you have to phone a friend to make the trip with you. Best of luck!
Get retested, false positives are a thing. Both of you go to get tested.
You said it came back like you had it before??
You should get retested. I got called to my drs office cause they said I had an std. Me and my husband got in a huge argument…come to find out they called the wrong freaking person
Personally. Get retested. Some test show as an std but it’s actually something else… My sisters came back as an std before and it was actually precancerous cells!
Recheck
I have heard that some of these diseases can be caught from using public restrooms
He needs to own, apologize for it and beg forgiveness. Then it’s up to you what’s next…
Alot of std can lay dormant clymidia is on of them. Typically in males it is asymptomatic and it shows no sign. Women it can take along time to show symptoms. Trust but verify.
Guys even tho stds can b dormant they test u every time ur pregnant, so yes it has to be a recent affair or a false positive. DO NOT sleep with him again unless you know he is clean. Children born to mothers who actively have chlamydia can be born blind. Dont risk your childs life. and call your family for support. But id def start with a retest. If hes positive and did cheat, then i would leave.
Have them retest just to be sure it’s accurate, my 3rd pregnancy I had the same situation happen. My regular ob/gyn retested and it was proven wrong. If it comes back a 2nd time then you know if you didn’t step out that he had to do so. There truly can be errors. Praying things turn out ok.
Get him tested then you’ll know for sure
Have him go get check. Ot would be a mistake make they can check you again . doctors mess up to.
Get tested again. I had a false positive too and never had any STD ever so I was absolutely devastated and thought mine had cheated too. Don’t make any permanent decisions until you get tested again. Make him get a test too. If both are positive THEN leave. It’ll be hard BUT you can do it.
When I first found out I was pregnant I had recently gotten checked, I was clean. Two months in, I had assumed I had a uti so I went to the walk-in. They called a week later saying I had an sti. Man I was so mad and he kept denying he had cheated. To this day he denies and I had actually found the man and women he had been sleeping with and he still denies. It’s been almost two years now and I still can’t let it go. I always wish I had just left and stayed away. The cheating will never end.
Ask them to retest. Any infection can cause a false positive. Also have him tested
This is very t0ugh. You are feeling disrespected, angry and sad whil e carrying a baby and 4 other children. He is lying to himself aswell. You need someone to talk to to get through this. You have every right to be angry…he has to own it and forgive himself too. That,s tough to do without help for both of you. Luckily the infection can be cured. The cheating is more complicated. I hope you both get help.
Get retested and have your husband go in and get tested as well if he is not guilty of anything - and pray both test come back negative - as someone else stated errors do happen - good luck and praying for negative test results for both of you.
Make sure he gets tested , and you get re tested . You can have a false positive. But Chlamydia is sexually transmitted for sure. If you have other children you were likely tested for it with them and it came back negative I assume then so I doubt it’s been dormant like others are saying… if he has it… and you confirm you have it… it’s obvious where you got it if you haven’t cheated yourself.
The same EXACT thing happened to me!!! He cheated. Perioddddddddd
You can get a false positive
It can lay dormant for years… there is a chance he isnt lying to you… you both need to go get tested. Retest for you and test for him. That’s step one.
You can have clamidia for a long time and not even know it. You could have possibly gotten it before you got together with him and didnt know. Dont jump to conclusions.
You can actually have a fake positive while pregnant!!! Before you freak out ask to be re tested!! You may not have it at all and it’s just a mistake if you look it up on google MANY women have gotten fake positives.
I would be out . No way I would stay with someone like that . 70 miles is not far . Go back to your family til you figure it out
He needs to be checked and you need a recheck just to make sure … mistakes happen in the lab just like everywhere else
Jesus. Get yourselves both tested and ask ALOT of questions. Don’t do anything rash until you get the results and find out exactly how the disease works. Don’t say or do anything you can’t take back until you know for sure. Consider it a test of your trust until you know that the trust is lost. Because if you throw it away too early, relationships don’t always recover from that. How stupid to throw away your marriage or even just the foundation of trust, and then find out he was telling you the truth and that disease can lay dormant, be caught in other ways or can have false positives, right? Breathe. Take one thing at a time.
Id make an appointment for the both of you to go together and get rechecked. soon enough where he doesn’t have time to get meds for himself behind your back.
Also…better to leave sooner rather than later:woman_shrugging:
I received a positive result with this pregnancy then took my spouse to be tested. He was negative. I requested to be retested before I got any meds and mine came back negative as well. Not always the case but they said that sometimes there are false positives. I was freaking out too, hurt and scared about the pregnancy being effected and possibly being lied to… but I had him tested anyway to be safe. Think of all your options first and I highly recommend you ask him to be tested too.
He’s cheated
Simple
If you can forgive well done
But I would pack his bags
Lay dormant for six years? No!
Do not listen to these settling women.
You were tested with each of your pregnancies. You didn’t have it 19 months ago nor did you have it six years ago. Not only did he cheat, he cheated without a condom. That is the biggest disrespectful action a man can do aside from punching you in the face.
That could come next.
And what if he DID get the condomless sex partner pregnant… are you going to accept that of him too?
This is what abuse and control looks like. To a tee. He has isolated you away from all of your friends and family. Kept you pregnant. That’s how he “fixes” intimacy issues; with sex?
He’s risked the health of your unborn child. This kind of man can n will just up n leave you (to handle all his kids alone) if you “don’t act right” and that’s what these kinds of men do (hold things over heads) the more children you have with him, the easier it is to do. Soon he can cheat n tell you n you’ll just accept n live on w him bc “it’s too hard to be a single mom of three little ones with no help and a single income”
Men aren’t dumb.
They know EXACTLY what they are doing!
HE chose THIS over YOU.
LEAVE.
First of all make sure you get treated and have him get tested and treated too. He can pass it back to you if you decide to stay with him. Second the trust is gone and things will never be the same. Think about your children and the example you are setting for them. Also consider the environment your children will grow up in due to the tension between their parents.
Those tests aren’t always accurate. It’s common for those tests to come back positive even if you don’t actually have it. Unless your husband/partner is acting sketchy or suspicious, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Retest. I’ve worked in a lab. Errors can happen especially if test are run within close proximity to one another. If the technician wears the same gloves they can contaminate other samples.
Firstly, there can be false positives when pregnant, happened to my bestie. Secondly, STDs can lay dormant for a while before presenting symptoms. Have him get tested, take the meds. Speak with him again, but you don’t have to leave. He may not actually be lying
Um fuck his dad and become his step mom, give his dad the clap back.