I be scrolling and reading usually. I hate the fact people arenāt good on reading. She said they have been together a little over 6 years now. Iām sure she wouldnāt be asking a bunch of strangers anything if she knew it was a possibility she passed anything on to him 
I have no ADVICE for her , but comments should only be answering what she asked with out shade on the side. 
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Get re-tested. And you know he could be telling the truthā¦ It coulda been dormant for you amd you wouldnt know it.
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Praying you will find forgiveness even if he never asks. I would NOT pressure him. It may never happen again. If there is a repeat of this behavior. Divorice is the answer. He will have to be treated also. Doctors know how to handle this
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He can carry it for years without knowing- like ābefore youāā¦ so
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Tell him if he knows it isnāt him then he has no reason to object to being tested as proof.
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If he canāt even manage to be honest when you have physical proof he is obviously completely untrustworthyā¦ If there is No Trust in a marriage it will fail Iām so sorry this has happened to you, YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! He didnāt care enough to use protection while you were pregnant, heāll do it again and what if next time itās aids or genital warts and youāre stuck with that forever. Leave him, itās scary but you can do it there are lots of resources out there if you try to find them. Best if Luckā:heart:
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Okay, so I got a positive for it when I was pregnant too. Butā¦ I had never been checked & I had been having sex with other men (before my husband and I got together but like I said I had never been tested). So I just figured I could have gotten it anywhere. Is that a possibility?
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You should retest. See if there was a mixup with your lab. Then maybe counseling if you plan to stay together. Someone cheated and everyone should sit down and talk about it. Please encourage him to get tested and retest yourself. Good luck and stay strong.
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Make him get tested.
get retested get your husband to go with you and get tested himself sit down with your doctor the both of you and have a talk if heās still not confronting it and it is a positive positive and you didnāt have an affair then I donāt know what to tell you if thatās up to you you could either stay or you could go but double check first because you sure as heck donāt want to accuse him for something thatās a false positive be sure first
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Iām sorry guys but you can only catch Chlamydia from having sex. It is not a UTI it is an STD
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Already been through this with one of my exes but wow. Make him get tested and get retested.
Retest to make sure there wasnāt any kind of test mishaps at the lab. And then make him get tested as well. Make your decisions based off of those results.
I am so sorry. I hope things work out 
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You got this. You can do it. I is scary as hell, and it will sting like crazy the first couple of years, but then afterward you will be so much happier, healthier, and glad that you left. (I recommend therapy for the first 6months).
You KNOW you deserve better. You know it. Now go out and show yourself you believe it.
I have been in similar shoes as yours. I was in an arranged marriage (from a polygamous cult) and I finally found the courage to divorce my unfeeling and unloving husband. I had three kids who were 6,5 and 2. I had no family and no friends because I had recently left the FLDS religion. But I found my strength and I did it.
If I can do it, so can you.
((Hugs))
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Wait why was this posted twice? Anyway I would confront him again and let him know that you know heās lying because why would you have an STD if he has never slept with anybody else. Tell him he needs to come clean or you are going to leave (donāt tell him you want to leave no matter what).
You think? If itās not you then DEFINITELY!
There are symptoms of chlamydiaā¦if you are having them then I highly doubt itās a false positive. & the fact that you are pregnant & heās done this? Itās truly unthinkable. Heās putting yourself & your unborn baby at risk. Heās a selfish asshole. Itās a whole new level of disrespect. Itās disgusting
You know what to do either stay or leave life will go on if it returned he has cheated before get him for child support you will find someone who deserves you
Tell him to get tested
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itās unclear whether chlamydia can be spread through touch to another personās genitals if thereās infected semen or vaginal fluid on your fingers, or by rubbing female genitals together. You canāt catch chlamydia from kissing or sharing things such as toilets or towels with someone who has the infection.
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Just get both tested until u have proof that the test is right he could be telling truth test arent always accurate .
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You can get any std from sitting on a toilet
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Men can carry it a lot longer without knowing than women. But this has also happened to me and he was cheating the whole time and trying to blame me. So follow your gut. Thank God it was something curable ļæ¼:pray:t3:
also if you are both not treated and only one itāll keep coming back obviously ļæ¼ļæ¼
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Get retested. Both of you. Same thing happened to me. He lied. Once he was tested truth came out. He is a cheater. Always will be. All I could do was make sure that all of his āgirlfriendsā were made aware. Your situation is a no win. Damned if you do, damned if you donāt. Take the blinders off. Iām sorry.
Get treated and get him tested and treated and have an open relationship if youāre not satisfying his sexual needs let him explore and tell him to use a condom you can even have a relationship where he brings a girl home and you can sit in the room and watch if youāre into that!!!
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Sorry this is awful, 2nd test wouldnāt hurt but tell him to get tested. If he refuses then its him of course. However, he doesnāt need to share the test results with you I donāt think. Is there any other signs heās cheating? The cheater lies and lies they always do. Theyāre so use to being deceitful they are just used to lying. Make a plan to leave or if you stay I would really put some boundries in to play.
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Ask to be retested again. Also have him go with you !
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I think you should re test, and also get him to take one, donāt make drastic decisions without hard facts.
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When I was pregnant with my first child they told me I had an STD which completely devastated me told me they couldnāt treat it while pregnant and I would have to have a c-section. I seen another doctor for a second opinion turns out they were wrong. I gave birth naturally, get a second opinion.
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Tell him you are giving him ONE chance to be honest with you. If he comes clean, you guys can work through it. If he denies it, you are leaving.
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Chlamydia can lie dormant for years without anyone knowing. Weāre you tested your other pregnancies? If not then itās possible he got it before you were together.
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You both should be tested. If heās negative then itās been dormant for a long while. Why ruin a great marriage before you have all facts? Good luck.
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have him tested tooā¦ and just so he knows legally he has to tell the other partner he was withā¦ so have him get tested too and make sure youāre there when the doctor tell him heās got it too cause theyāll ask the names of partners hes been with sexually ā¦ he legally has to tell.
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Idk why everyone is saying make him get tested! He has it too!! Duh ! And how can yāall say he might have got it ābefore herā ā¦ sheās had two of his kids ! She would have found this prior ! So she contracted this sometime after her last pregnancy! Obviously!!
So if you didnāt cheat , then he cheated. He wonāt fess up. Either leave to your family 70 miles away or donāt dig further and drop it. Cause you already know the answer and what kind of man you got.
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Have you ever been tested before with your other kids? If not then you donāt know he cheated but if you were tested previously and it was negative then yes heās gotten it from somewhere. I would get retested or get him tested.
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When I started dating my bf I had previously had chlamydia a yr beforehandā¦and went away ā¦altho I hadnt been seeing anyone other than my bf at the time I tested positive for chlamydiaā¦ I was scared to death ā¦to tell my bf bc ,i didnt want him to think I cheated ā¦however I had to tell him so he could get testedā¦turns out ā¦he didnt have it ā¦and while I was at the obgyn she mentioned if you have had it before it can sometimes come back bc some of the bacteria can stay in your stomach lining ā¦even if after taking the pills and after being in the clearā¦it could still come back laterā¦I just make it habit to get tested every yr
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So this is trickyā¦ kind of. If it wasnāt you, it was him.
Get retested to make sure then have him get tested. Make him take a lie detector test. Mainly so you know if it was one woman or multiple.
Then you have a choice to make. Do you allow him to rebuild that trust and make your marriage work? (Itās hard. Itās a daily think and you donāt move on, get over it or whatever. You learn to move past it; it will most certainly be in the back of your mind!) or do you call it now and save yourself the work/trouble of him possibly doing it again?
I am a firm believer that people can change and learn from their mistakes, but he has to admit it first.
Test again and ask him to be tested
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Get a retest. And then get him tested. If itās still positive, or if he refuses to testā¦ the truth is obvious that he cheated on you, and gave you an infection while pregnant and put both YOU and baby at risk. In that case, I would leave that fucking piece of shit. 70 miles is not that bad, donāt make any excuses.
Definitely ask for a retest and a test for him as well. I was told the same thing and I went into a panic and made things really awful between my SO and I- and when we retested it was negative for us both, the lab had made an error
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What do you do now? Have him tested. If he tests positive, leave.
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Get re tested and tell him to go get tested. If heās negative then you probably have a mix up at the office. I wouldnāt go crazy till you gave proof
Leave him travel back and be with your family you will get throug this without him
Have him tested tell him take a test donāt have sex with him
He needs to get tested and treated. He needs to come clean or else youāre not going to be able to forgive and forget. Thereās no other way you could have gotten it if he never cheated and youāre faithful. Itās not likely to get an std by sitting on a toilet. If you want to stay together I suggest couples therapy. When I got pregnant with my first I had it, my now ex accused me of having it before we got together and also blamed the college toilets. My doctor said thereās no way I could have gotten it from the toilets. And the doctor advised to call all previous partners. My exes mother called for him and found out his last gf had the clyamidia. It can lay dormant, especially in men, but youāve been with him for too long in my opinion to be that kind of situation. You either work it out or leave. There are a lot of resources if you decide to leave. I donāt have family my mom has dementia, my dad is dead. My mom has almost no family and they live no where near me, my dadās family kind of talks to me but they have their own lives. I have 5 children and one on the way. You can do it without him. I know it sounds scary, but itās possible. But something has to be addressed in your relationship and if he refuses to take accountability then what else is he doing being your back?
Take a deep breath/ get your head straight. Have your husband go to the doctor with you and talk about possibilities as to how this happened. Have your husband get tested and get your self retested. If it turns out to be a cheating situation, your doc can refer you to a counselor.
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So Chlamydia cannot live outside the body on things such as toilet seats, bath towels or other linens. Itās passed through vaginal, oral and anal sex by way of semen, precum and vaginal discharge. Chlamydia can also be dormant for quite some time and sometimes people can have it without knowing because they donāt show any symptoms. I found out I had it a few months into my first pregnancy because my childās bio father either already had it before we got together and he didnāt know, or he cheated at some point during our relationship and gave it to me, Iāll never know, but anyway. I would get retested as well as have him tested. Youāll both have to go through a round of antibiotics and get retested afterwards to make sure the antibiotics work. Donāt have sex until you retest after completing both of your rounds of antibiotics otherwise youāll keep passing it back between each other. Also, Iām not sure if Chlamydia is one of those STDs that can be tested in this fashion, but some tests can show where an STD originated, and where it mutated when it was passed to the next person. Again, not sure if this is one of those STDs they can run that test on. Sometimes things like UTI infections can cause a false test result.
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As many others have mentioned.
- Get retested
- Get him tested
- If still positive theb tell hin to fess up
- If u cant move past it then leave.
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Chlamydia fixable have him tested and see if he has it and ask them to re do your test
Make him get tested too. If he refuses tell him to leave. Thatās what I would do. Also chlamydia is something that can stay dormant for YEARS with no symptoms so it does not 100% mean that he cheated.
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Move on from him, heās messing with dirty ladies and bringing It home to you. Heās lied to your face and taking you for a fool. You can do it all on your own.
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Get rechecked with another physician, maybe together. It needs to be treated either way but incorrect test results do happen. Not sure which but some STDs you can have for long periods of time with no symptoms in men or women. My ob gyn even gave me incorrect pregnancy test results. Try your best to get all facts so you can make the best decision for your family together. Guilty or not those are his children too do right by them.
All yāall need to stop telling her to test him. Lol if they have been sexually active together still, they would both have it no matter where it came from. Her proving he also has it wonāt prove much if they are still sleeping together. It doesnāt provide a time frame of āwho got it firstā. If hes a real asshole, he could try to flip this on her, true or not.
Girl if you havenāt slept with anyone else, the answer is there.
Even if you want to forgive him, trust is never the same after it gets lost once. Trust me, My fiance cheated on me almost 3 yrs ago now and we still are having issues from it here and there. I still donāt fully trust him. Iām trying to work on it, but it has been very impossible/difficult so far. That stuff stays with you.
I recommend trying to separate. Work on getting help or financial assistance and finding someone you can stay with til you are back on your feet. I know 70 miles seems far at first but I used to have to travel almost 200 around twice a week for medical reasons. Itās hard but possible if done right. Be strong. Donāt listen to his bullshit.
Have you ever been tested for stdās prior to this test? If not you could have had it all this time with it being dormant. Iād get a second test done before doing anything drastic but if you really do have it, so isnāt your husband because heās obviously been having unprotected sex with you. And him having it doesnāt mean he gave it to you. You could have given it to him. Unless you get tested with every person youāve slept with it can be hard to pin point where exactly it came from.
If it really wasnt uā¦def was him 100% and you already know that. You know ur answer and u know ur gutā¦
Go with him to get tested. He canāt deny a positive test
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Travel 70 miles to your family and plan from there. I would say leave.
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I need to know the results so please keep us posted
Labs make serious mistakes please retest and see what comes back my daughter was told she had HPV and abnormal cell growth and her obgyn. Scheduled an appointment to remove cells she has the procedure and guess what? It was not necessary so id say if they can screw that up std are not as complicated to test best wishes to you both and atleast ask him to test see what his results are because im sure they want to treat you for it ao ask him to check
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12 years ago I found out I had it. Only major issue was my husband knew (was tested, treated and such) and I was never told. And I was pregnant. (He was in the miltary as well) he went to his grave (committed suicide) knowing. I did not know until I had switch OBs and was alerted (I was 37 weeks pregnant) it was the scariest moment in my life because my unborn daughter was now at risk.
Iād take your situation over what I dealt with. But youāre able to communicate, be tested and treated together. Dont get it ruin your marriage. Itās easily cured.
I can see some (most) commenters here did not take sex Ed. Chlamydia can lie dormant for years, symptom free and undetected.
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When I tested positive, thanks to my douchebag ex, the dr sent the script to pharmacy for both of us. He never needed to get tested. I wasnāt aware of a false positive back then, but my ex was a cheater, so there was no doubt in my situation.
Regardless, they both need the treatment. Or get retested to make sure.
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I would recommend that you bofh go back and get tested again. It could be a mistake and you were actually negative. Hopefully it will be that.
If not, it is time that he either admits things so you can both work on things. Or leave him. But i would suggest not making any major decisions, whilst the wound is still fresh and the pains roar.
When you have had time to process it all. Write a list of your wants and needs from.the relationship.
Pros and cons of ending your marriage. Like the effects it could have on yourself and children etc.
Yes your family are a long distance away. But you can join the.local council, in their areas. Having family there, will help you get on their housing lists amd you can apply for the housing associations also.
Living closer to them will help as you will have the extra support.
If heās.the one tha lt moves out. Then i wouldnāt waste time worrying, where he will go. After betraying yiu and your children he doesnāt deserve the consideration.
If the results do come back positive. Then you need to find out, what treatment you can have whilst pregnant. As having a std/ sti whilat pregnant risks your unborn. I have read, whilat doing my studies in the past, that some can cause the baby to come out with abnormaties, even blindness.
Hope things work out.
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I went through the same thing with my SO. I was pregnant with our second child when they called and told me. He swore up and down heād never been with anyone else. If you google it, there have been cases where the woman will have chlamydia and the man will get tested and it comes back negative. Iām not sure how its possible but it does happen. I still dont trust him to this day because of it but he still to this day says he never slept with anyone else. Good luck girl.
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You both need to go get tested together. He canāt deny positive test results if you both test positive then obviously someone cheated and it needs to be resolved. In my opinion I would leave because once a cheater always a cheater
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Get retested but if you know youāve done nothing he obviously has or wouldve been picked up when had other kids
at everyone yelling āLeave! He cheated!ā
- It can lay dormant for years.
- Doesnāt always produce symptoms for carriers.
- Only three STIs are transmitted exclusively sexually: gonorrhea, syphilis, and genital warts.
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Honestly I believe men are carriers for it from my research and you can also get it if you do anal, then go back to the other.
Obviously, if you didnāt cheat, he did. Ask him to be honest, if he isnāt, Iād leave. If you donāt trust him anyways, Iād leave. If you do trust him & heās honest with you, Iād try to work through it. Three kids, a long-term relationship & marriage is a lot to throw away. Either way, both of you need to be tested/re-tested & cured. Then move on with your life.
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He shouldvwant to be tested too since its contagios. They test fir jt with each baby so if he has it he was cheating probably. Dint let him play stupid. Your better than thst. Tell him her dirty ass should get tested if he has it and anyone else they diped in
If hes so confident make him go get checked in for STDs?that way you can show him he cant run from his lies.
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I know clymedia u donāt always have sytoms and is possible to have it years without knowing but take it as u got other children uv had the test b4 and came back negative, but it sounds like heās been unfaithful xx
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And itās not really an STD in my eyes cause its treatable. I also had it with my son, and my husband who at the time wasnt my husband had it to from someone else and we hadnāt even had sex at that time because we just started dating, then I wouldnāt until he was treated to.
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As I read some of these comments all I can say is OMG! For the love of GOD people please go to the CDC and read up on Chlamydia because wow just wow! Chlamydia is a SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE. You can NOT catch it from a toilet seat. Itās contracted through sexual contact (anal, vaginal, oral). OR a mother can pass it to her baby at birth. Now she can ask her doctor to retest her in the event that there was a POSSIBLE mistake by the lab. Her husband also needs to be tested right away. Now if both tests come back positive that means he cheated at some point in their relationship. Yes he couldāve been carrying it for awhile but they have a 6 year old and a 1 year old and Iām quite sure she received STD testing during those pregnancies. So just get retested, make your husband get testing and go on from there. But in the event that he does have it and he did give it to you, I would really consider leaving because that means heās not only cheating but heās doing it without protection. You can end up catching something far worse than Chlamydia.
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I would talk to your doctor and ask them the possibility of you having it for years and it laid dormant and now coming out that your pregnant or maybe it was laying dormant in your husband and he never knew. And get re tested could be a mistake and let your husband get tested. And then take it from there
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Then tell him because he lied you will be making changes because you do not except what he has done and will not allow him to destroy your family for him whoring around.
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I suggest researching it. I had this exact thing happen. Like others have said its possible to have had it for years and not know it. Sometimes there are no symptoms or symptoms get mistaken for other things.
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Shew. #1ā¦ this is YOUR marriage. For better or for worse. #2ā¦ like others have said, you could have had it dormant in your body and not have known. #3ā¦ make sure he gets tested also and no sex until both of you test negative for it. (Assuming heās does actually have it) hopefully he doesnāt go behind your back and get tested and treated and make it seem like it was you all along but only YOU know if you are willing to stay. Children are not a reason to stay. Seriously. You have to think of the health of the beautiful little blessing inside of you. Protect yourself and him/her. If you are going to absolutely still have sex with him, make him wear a condom. At the end of the day, you have to decide if you are going to take your vows seriously. Marriage counseling for sureā¦ and possibly both of you get individual counseling on the side of that. You are obviously going to be stressed and extremely sad/depressed/confused. Figure out exactly what you are going to do and stick with it. Stress can cause a miscarriage. Rare I believe but still possible. I wouldnāt talk to family about it either because if you do decide to stay with him, they will probably always think he is a horrible person. Like I said, only you know whatās best for you. But me personally, might be the odd one out here, Iād try everything possible to save my marriage before calling it quits. Good luck momma
If it was dormant, wouldnāt it still of came up with the 19 month old? 
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I would pack up and leave. He cheated and is lying. If at some point he comes clean and wants to work it out, thatās up to you, but if you stay and forgive, he will do it again.
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Iām kinda appalled at everyone saying leave if he cheated, it could have been a one time thing. He could have actually been blacked out drunk out with his friends and not even recall something. Shit happens, and people make mistakes. Years and years of a relationship thrown away for something he could have or may not have done without even trying to work it out and see if its fixable is sad.
I would get retested. Perhaps it was a false positive
Keep reading wat you posted the answer is in there somewhereā¦can anyone help me find itā¦?Āæ Listen to your gut instinct
Your getting all kinds of good advice but in the end its up to you & what your will to live with. Do whatās best for you & your situation. Have strength .
He cheated, he lied and there is probably more, heās just caught now. Call your family if youāre serious about leaving. They will help you. You have to think of whatās right and healthy for you and your children. Being in an unhealthy relationship is not good for anyone involved. You can try marriage counseling if youāre not ready to throw in the towel but someone needs to come clean about the lying. And cheating.
Experience says get out while you only got three kids have the fourth with someone else that is loyal. Good luck
First Iām truly sorry that your going through this. I will be praying for you. First, if you have the means an fiancees, get treated and please make sure you continue to follow up with your obgyn about what your childās risks are. Itās better to know the outcomes and figure out possible case scenarios if your child ends up being affected by it. Second, if your husband is still willing to lie donāt push the issue any further, if you have the means leave until your in a better position deal with his infidelitity visit family or friends because itās better to be surrounded by people who love you. If thatās not possible, then ask a loved one to come down and stay with you for a bit for support. Lastly when you given the situation much thought and reflection give your husband an ultimatum. Either he can come clean and both of you can work on your marriage with a counselor you both trust or if heās going to continue to lie then I personally would separate because if heās willing to put your body and the life of your unborn child at risk then that says more about him than anything. Again, Iām truly sorry you have to experience this.
Tests can be false positive!!! Depending on the test; also labs could have gotten mixed up. I suggest a retest for both before you make a life altering decision!!! Could be dormant; calm down Iāve seen it happen!!!
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Get retested and have your husband checked.
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You no in your heart what you got to do once they have an affair its easier the next time you leave or decide to live with it
I think you need to leave to tour families until he can man up or kick him out
Yāall are quick to leave over random pussy. Ya he probably cheated. But she has a family, children involved. If the father is wanting to work it out and shows interest (actions) in doing so then. Get it together girl. Get healthy. Enjoy your pregnancy. Do not have the 4th child!!! Stop at 3!! Thatās my opinion.
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I wouldnāt jump to conclusions just yet. Have him get tested too. I heard there is such thing as false positive for it.
Also if it is 100% could of gotten way before you 2 got together.
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Have them retest you. When I had my 3 year old I came back positive for syphilis or something and they were prepping my newborn for a blood draw and the doctor didnāt want to do that unless it was absolutely necessary because through my whole pregnancy everything was great and I was so confused about it, well it turns out that the girl who does labs had made a mistake.
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STDs dont fall out of the sky. He cheated. It doesnāt matter how far away family is and whatever other excuses you have. You leave that asshole. He put you and your babyās health in danger. What if it was HIV? Leave!
Iām sorry, if you both have had sexual partners prior to marriage there is a chance that it has been dormant for awhile. Both talk to doctor.
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Leave. He put your unborn baby in danger.
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Agreed I would get retested; as well as telling him he has to be as well if he is that confident he hasnāt cheated.
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Iād get retested first. Just to confirm. Chlamydia especially has been known to come back with false positives. Let him know youāre getting retested and have him get tested too. If itās definitely positive, you know heās lying. If he adamantly refuses to get tested, I think that gives you your answer as well. Just be sure of what the situation is before making a huge life altering decision.
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Maybe get retested in case it was a false possitive on the test but if it still comes back possitive and you are faithful you already know it is him. Question is was it a one time thing or is he a repetitive cheater and if so you deserve better. If it was a one time thing you have to ask yourself if you can move past this and have a happy marriage. Maybe a counceler can help you guys talk through it and that may result in a confession. Iām sorry your going through this. I have been cheated on and itās extremely hurtful. Prayers
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Have him get testedā¦ if heās positive then you have your answer.
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