My ex and I have 50/50 custody of our two daughters four-year-old and seven years old, my four-year-old go potty just fine during the day with no accidents but has trouble getting up at night and ends up peeing the bed. Today picking my seven-year-old from school told me her daddy doesn’t let our four-year-old sleep on the bed and is making her sleep on the floor. My question is, is this abuse? What should I do about this without getting my seven years old in trouble with her dad for telling me about the situation?
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Speak to a lawyer of the day at family court and ask how and what is the best way to approach!!!
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That’s SO messed up:tired_face:
Is it force or does she want to? Those are the questions to ask. Secondly she does deserve to sleep in a bed and if shes having accidents I’d make her wear a pull up to sleep. I had to do it with my son and he eventually grew out of it. I would ask him but not accuse him and see what he says and go to a lawyer from there
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Abuse him! And personally I don’t know if I would trust my kids to go there again if he thinks the answer to your four year old wetting the bed is making her sleep on the floor. That’s just not on. Maybe a nappy at night time? Mattress protector? Doesn’t seem very caring to make your four year old sleep on a hard floor!
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Yes. Each child should have a bed. And he needs to get a mattress protector.
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Not abuse. Just talk to your ex about it, suggest he get the plastic sheet covers.
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Buy a mattress cover to send with him.
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Talk to dad…see what he has to say. She shouldn’t be keeping on the floor. I get he doesnt want her to pee the bed, maybe get some Goodnught underwear then. Cut liquids at a certain time to maybe help
Talk to him though.
There are also matress covers to protect the bed.
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Horrible of him!! Why not just wear a pull up at nite time
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Maybe just buy a mattress protector and send it with her. 🤷 He might not even know those things exist, and not know how to get the urine out. You definitely don’t want to get your daughter in trouble, so bringing the law into it probably isn’t the route to go yet unless she’s still sleeping on the floor against her will, with the adjustments.
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Tell him to get a plastic cover for the bed…that way the pee dont seep into the matress…
Tell him to get a mattress protector and let her sleep on the bed!
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Take him back to court for sole custody. This is not a situation you want your children in.
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I mean…on the floor with no mat or blanket? Or just a pallet on the floor? I don’t think it’s abuse if he sets her up a sleeping area on the floor if he’s tired of her wetting the mattress. He could just get her some pull ups instead, but it’s not abuse. I’ve considered putting my 7 year old on the floor in her room on a waterproof mat because she still won’t wake up to go pee in the toilet. You get tired of washing sheets and blankets every day…
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She’s a child and she should have a bed to sleep in. He needs to be an adult and buy a mattress cover of some sort. Definitely talk to him and if he won’t be accommodating to her maybe in family court a discussion should be held about your younger child not spending the night there.
I don’t think it’s abuse, just precaution. Send some pull-ups for bedtime until she gets use to getting up to use the potty or recommend he gets a mattress protector. Also, implement a no liquid deal after 8/8:30pm, the both of you will have to stick to it for it to work.
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I would be livid!!! There are options available to him to help with bed wetting. Overnight pull ups and mattress protectors. Let him know that she can come back over for the night once he gets one of those.
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Staying dry overnight is developmental. It’s not her fault and there’s nothing that can be done to make it happen faster… why not just tell him to put pull-ups on her overnight? My 4-year old still wears them at night, even though he’s usually dry in the morning. I’m not sure it’s abuse, but it seems like there are some simple solutions to this, bc she shouldn’t have to sleep on the floor!
buy him a matter cover it protects the mattress he’s and idiot
He’s too damn lazy to buy pull-ups night time pants if that is the case his ass needs to be taken away from those kids
Id have a huge issue with that send her with goodnights if she has to go but I’d tell him she’s not going if she’s having to sleep on the floor.
Buy a mattress protector, give it to tge ex for the 4 year olds bed, throw in sheets too
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She’s 4 — send some good nights/pull-ups with her and call it good. Protects everyone
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Try not giving her milk after 3 in the afternoon. She may have a milk allergy. This happened with my daughter also until she was 12 years old. Sometimes when she was at a friend’s house she would forget about the milk and would have an accident.
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Each child should have the right to sleep in their own bed. MAKING a child sleep on the floor because they’re too lazy to care for them in the event of an accident, is exactly that…lazy.
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There are honestly a lot of kids without beds (not justifying this & this is completely new to me as I ignorantly assumed everyone has a bed) so does she have a bed and used to sleep in it or what? You have to find out the entire story… if he doesn’t have funds for the bed then maybe you can find someone that could donate one etc.
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If you dont want to go to the law about it or out your daughter buy some pads they use at the hospital for that and tell him that she needs it under her when she sleeps just in case she wets the bed and if he still puts her on the floor then look into legal help and see if you can have something done about it
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There’s a plastic sheet to put on the bed. I put one on my sons bed bc he sometimes has accidents. That’s no where near okay. Yes I think it’s horrible wrong bc that baby doesn’t understand
Wow. Take him to court
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To all those saying send pull-ups with the child or send a mattress cover with the child or whatever it is the mans responsibility to buy whatever he needs to buy when the child is with him not the mothers. Stop enabling these men by making them less accountable for the children’s needs.
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Ok so as a child abuse investigator, this is not abuse. What I would suggest is that you talk to your ex about this and work it out with him… maybe talking to him about getting a mattress protector… from my experience communication is the key
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Ask if he has a bed for the 4yo and if not buy one for your baby, if he does offer to buy a mattress protector? Or tell him to make sure she wears pull ups.
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Yeah, that’s ridiculously toxic and abusive, if he’s specifically making her sleep on the floor because she has accidents at night. He should put a damn night night pull up on her…what kind of father. He could buy a mattress protector or pull ups himself…obviously he’s a piece of crap
Maybe just buy a mattress protector and say I know she’s had trouble here . So I bought me one and Thought maybe you needed one too .
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Tbh not abuse and not something to get in a tizzy about. But maybe communicate with him. Ask how she’s doing at night with wetting the bed and if he says it’s happening a lot offer to send good nights or a mattress protector. Offer advice to him to prevent it (no drinks after a certain time).
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Send her over there with overnights and then speak to Dcf or yr lawyer
Hes a man and no it’s not abuse but maybe suggest to him pull ups at night and buy a mattress protector and suggest not giving her anything to drink after 6pm. My son was bad about night time and I quit giving him anything to drink after 6pm and he didn’t have any problems anymore but maybe once in a great while but I put a diaper or pull up on him just in case.
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I wouldn’t say it’s abuse, but closer to a form of negligence which if he’s willing to correct it, itll be okay…just tell him that its not okay, and provide other options, either a mattress cover or some pull ups
Men don’t usually know these things so help him out
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He should have a bed for her! A mattress protector and what not already. Yes this is abuse. id be livid if anyone made my daughter sleep on the floor!! Tell him to get her everything she needs if he wants her to spend the night. fuck court they won’t do anything.
I think you need to find out the whole situation. I don’t agree that she should be sleeping on the floor. Just find out the situation a lot of little kids like to sleep on the floor. Is it just like he’s throwing her on the floor or does she have her little setup like in a little sleeping bag made up like a little bed you have to know the circumstances?
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Definitely don’t let this slide. Talk to your attorney for the best advice.
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It’s not abuse and no one will take away custody for that. But what u can do is have a civil conversation with their father about the situation. Ask him to purchase a mattress cover that protects from wetness. If you’re that concerned about your child sleeping on the floor then u can always pack one in their going away bag and have them bring it back each time.
But sleeping on the floor is not clicked abuse.
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I wouldnt think family and children services would approve of this situation, you could always call and ask them what they think.
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I know that if child services were to go and find out she’s sleeps on the floor they’ll investigate quick. Every child has to have a bed.
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To not get your oldest into trouble…send pull-ups. It solves the problem without getting nasty or confrontational. Just tell him you sent her with some because she sometimes doesn’t wake up in time at night. He won’t know your oldest said anything. Then wait to see if he still makes her sleep on the floor.
If you get the courts involved, it will backfire on you. All he has to say is not intense to be abusive, after all kids sleepovers are the same…kids in sleeping bags on the floor. My ex still doesn’t have an extra bed so one sleeps on the couch and one on the floor (they’re teenagers).
Pick your battles or he will do little things just to set you off and you will lose any credibility if/when something bigger happens.
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It’s not abuse. Work with him on her bed wetting issue.
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My 5 year old son still has accidents almost nightly and it sucks but you still gotta be a parent and take care of it! He’s just being lazy and a jackass for making his child sleep on the floor because he doesn’t wanna clean it up. How sad!!
It might not be abuse but it could be neglect. I would talk to him and be like (4. Year old childs name) has been having accidents at my house at night has this been happening at your house. What do you think we should do. Because it’s good if we are on the same page and the same routine. It will help her a whole lot better to stop doing that. Which is true. And go from there. See what he says. If he says that she is sleeping on the floor tell him you dont agree with that. That you will help him with bed protection and over night pull ups.
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Abuse? no but you could discuss it with him and talk to him see about getting a protective cover for the bed and maybe some tips to helping him with her so she doesn’t pee at night
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Abuse? Are you serious?
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I call it abuse. Dont let him away with it.
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Why exactly isn’t it abuse? She is FOUR. Just being it isn’t classified as abuse, doesn’t mean that it isn’t. Forcing her to sleep in the floor is most definitely abuse. Maybe not the physical but it is mental and I’m sure the floor is cold and hard.
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Send pull-ups each time she goes. Better for everyone that way.
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First don’t overreact or assume anything and talk to your baby daddy and let him know about your seven-year-old brought it up. Not in a away to tell on him but just in conversation and that you want to know why he is making your 4 year old sleep on the floor and whether or not she is sleeping on an air mattress mattress some blankets and a pillow just find out what the situation is because honestly it maybe he is having her sleep on the floor because he doesn’t want her to urinate on the bed and honestly if he’s having her sleep on a made bed on the floor and she is warm and comfortable where he is supervising her I don’t think there is anything wrong with that but I would have him in the show you where he is having your four-year-old sleep and where he is having your 7 year olds sleep. After talking with him if you find out it’s an abusive situation and then yes of course report it but before you take drastic measures find out what is truly going on.
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Just tell him that it is NOT acceptable and re-visit the 50/50 access.
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Man i’d be one pissed off mutha, if my babies gotta sleep on the floor then he better be right there with her. Obviously her sissy dnt like it either to have to watch her lol sissy sleep on the fuckin floor bull fuckin shit. Id say her some fuckin pullups pads an a damn mattress. She isn’t a fuckin dog get my baby up off that damn floor.
Dont say your 7yr old told you just bring up her potty training and if she is having accidents at his house. Sounds like something that can be fixed with a simple civil conversation.
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So kids sleeping on the floor is abuse?! Wtf?! You act like he’s got her sleeping in the garage on a concrete floor with only a blanket and pillow. Chill out kids sleep on the floor all the time! Sheesh!!🤷😢
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I would recommend maybe pull up overnights to him just for a hint
How hard is it to put pull ups on a small child (yes, 4 is still small) at night? The kid’s still peeing the bed? Normal! Put some damn pull ups on and stop expecting so much from a 4yo. Neither one of y’all has common sense.
Dads def don’t think like moms and it’s not always abuse - not saying that’s the case here - def investigate but dads tend to push it imo
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Send her with Pull-Ups. This is very common.
Pull ups and plastic sheets…problem solved
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Why doesn’t he put diapers on her or him at might. There’s a lot of little ones need to do this.
Help the poor man out. He is not abusing y’alls kid. Send a pack of Goodnites when it’s his time and tell him he needs to keep those on hand and put the kid in the bed. And I dunno tell him to wake the child up and make them go to the bathroom to reinforce the night training. If he’s a good father he will appreciate your civil effort rather than being accusatory towards him.
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Send pull ups for bedtime, incontinence pads for the bed, waterproof matress cover. There’s a lot of options.
I think the father is just lazy and it is abused because he is too lazy to get up with his daughter
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Ok seriously people this is in no way abuse or neglect… no judge will ever see that it is… just talk to your ex about it… People seem to forget to communicate and instead turn it into custody issues when in situations such as this, clearly doesn’t rise to one… communication will always be the key and your kids will be happy and healthier for it
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Nothing good nites or anything like pull ups or even a simple diaper to bed can’t fix. I think it’s neglect and the child shouldn’t be punished for it. I have a son that wet to bed until he was 11 and a brother who wet to bed until he was 14. It happens and there are ways to protect the bed and the child instead of forcing a child to sleep on the floor.
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F.y.I. men aren’t as smart as we are. We can figure things out. We come up with solutions. Their brains don’t work that way. Help the guy out. He probably has no idea pee products even exist.
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Sometimes bed wetting is a medical condition. Check into it.
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A lot of men don’t think like women … and doesn’t care for children like a women would… u could always say the four year old told you she sleeps on the floor … then maybe u could ask the father why she is sleeping on the floor … and then suggest maybe a mattress protector and/or even pull ups … if he is a good father … all around otherwise … I wouldn’t jump legally over this matter … better the co-parenting… the happier the kids …
According to an attorney as long as they have 4 walls and roof over their hed it doesnt matter.
I would have sent along nite time pull ups, knowing she does this. It will solve the problem
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Don’t claim abuse and please do not let your children hear that word.
There are kids that don’t even have beds.
Im Sure he set up an area for her. We have sleepovers all the time. Kids have no problem sleeping on the floor. Don’t assume it’s malice. He wants to protect the mattress… there’s nothing wrong with that.
Ask your daughter if she minds…she may not. 
And ask him if you can buy him a mattress protector so she can sleep in the bed.
Y’all are gonna coparent a hell of a lot better if you aren’t looking for things to get mad about and learn how the communicate with each other.
It’s ridiculous you couldn’t ask him or your child more questions.
But bottom line…No. it’s not abuse. It’s not neglect. At worst, it’s very mean. At best… He had her all set up comfortably and doesn’t realize there are other options.
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Only in America is sleeping on the floor abuse! Lol
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Send over a twin blown up bed
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It’s not abuse. And as much as it sucks for sure, this is the way her father is choosing to handle the situation. You speaking to him about it is only going to cause trouble for the older sister and drama between the two of you. Unfortunately when there’s split families one parent doesn’t always agree with the way the other parent chooses to raise your child(ren). Pick your battles.
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Why not just send her with pull ups. Make peace not war. My 2 year old has a bed and all the bedding in the world and still chooses to sleep on the floor half the time.
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Just bc ^ these people say it isnt abuse/neglect doesnt mean that ISNT abuse/neglect!! The father shouldve invested in a mattress cover and/or pull ups to solve this issue! Comfort and rest are a BASIC NEED and the father is neglecting to meet that need. Child services would not agree that making a child sleep on the floor due to over night accidents is how you solve that issue. Im not saying they need to be involved but bring that to his attention. You dont have to tell him WHO told you the child is sleeping on floor but you do need to address the situation with him. It isnt fair bc she cannot control it.
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Not abuse… maybe get a foldable waterproof mat that your kid can bring with. Then if an accident happens it can be wipes up. I’d ask about it, but it’s nothing to make a big deal about. Does he not have a lot of room? Maybe thats why. Just ask, talk. Communication.
I would just send over pull ups and explain she uses them at night at your house. Problem solved he won’t even question the 7 year old.
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50/50 means co-parenting and that also means communication. You should be talking to the father, not coming here looking for validation and so called advice from judgemental women who know 1 side of the story. Also, the information came from a 7 year old… Seriously, just communicate with the father and quit looking for things to accuse him of.
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Ok, so it is his responsibility to provide whatever is necessary while the girls are at his house. However, not everyone knows how to go about something like this. If it were me, I would start by asking him if she is having wetting issues at night when she’s with him like she does with mom and asking if he has any ideas on how to deal with it. Open the dialogue and see what comes of it. If he’s concerned then she can offer advice he may not have. If he’s defensive or angry then she will know her next step would be to seek intervention.
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Good night pull ups work great. If dad is to cheap to buy a 14 dollar blow up twin mattress at Wal-Mart then get one.
he can buy a mattress protector for the kiddo instead of making her sleep on the floor. I think this is more ignorance than abuse.
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In no way is this abuse. She’s 4. She’s wetting the bed. If you get up in the night to make her pee, then kudos to you. If you don’t want her sleeping on the floor at dads where his sleep is his priority, I suggest you provide pull ups. Yes, it’s totally unfair and in a perfect world he would buy them himself or wake up and take her to pee, but it’s not and this is the situation you’re in. You don’t have to tell him your other daughter told you. You can simply send them next visit and let him know you provided them cause you assumed he wouldn’t buy them and you don’t want him doing something ridiculous like making your daughter sleep on the floor or something 
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My kids have a bed and choose to sleep on the floor… does that make me a bad parent? 
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Not a single person on here can answer if this is abuse or not based on the facts that you have given us. We do NOT know his side of the story. Perhaps the child has requested to sleep on the floor, and enjoys it? Who knows? They do, we don’t.
- this arsehole of a dad needs to allow that poor child to sleep in bed and get a matteress protector.
2.No adult never mind child should have to sleep on the floor when theres a bed thats been bought specifically for them to use.
3.No one in this entire would likes sleeping on the floor this child has the privalage to have a bed…not many adults or kids get the change to sleep in a warm comfy bed.
4.i wet the bed for atleast 3/4 years when i was a child is he expecting that poot baby to sleep on the floor for that long more or less till they stop?
5.Any one thats saying buy him a matteress protector or to shut up needs a reality check because you would NOT appeciate them sorts of comments if this aas your situation.
6.this women now has to confront the dad about this, with the dad knowing its came from the 7 year old…the question im asking myself if could he take the bed away from this kid for trying to help his sibling.
just speak to him, god. ask him if there is anything you can do to help like buying a plastic cover to protect or something…
It’s not abuse at all.
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Walmart has plastic mattress covers for a couple dollars send one next time
Just casually bring up that she’s getting sores from sleeping on something hard, then be like I got her a waterproof blow up bed to take your house (so she doesn’t have to sleep on that hard bed🙄) Idk. If you don’t want drama that’s how I’d do it, maybe send her over with those pee catcher pad things and some pull ups.
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It’s neglect. If CPS got called on him he’d have to show that every child in his custody, even part time has a place to sleep. I’d take him to court to change visitation. He can buy her pull ups & put a mattress cover on the bed. He’s just being cheap.
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My 4 year old had the same issue. A mattress protector would solve that problem. There is no reason for her to sleep on the floor.
Maker ur child wear dispere they might have a weak bladder! I had this issue growing up! If he continues to have her sleep on the floor report it to your lawyer or get CPS involved and have them question your child. CPS should be the last resort though. Document everything
Take pictures, record, send emails or texts to him for proof. No child should sleep on the floor because of potty issues. Hes just lazy on doing laundry
It’s not abuse. If you y’all know she wets the bed, maybe try a waterproof mattress protector or even some kind of pull up to wear at night. It’s really not that serious.