I found out my husband gets coffee daily from topless women: Advice?

It’s just boobs and coffee :person_shrugging: it’s not like he was hiding it if the cups were still in his car.

I saw there was a dreamboyz espresso…start going there :grin:

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Get a job there and see if he is ok with it :sweat_smile:

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Honestly I would be hitting up this place too. Less stuck up people work there probably. :rofl: I personally would not be offended at all.

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I don’t think you’re overreacting at all lol

If he’s going multiple times a day I highly doubt it’s for the coffee. I love Starbucks, but I don’t go multiple times a day, everyday :sweat_smile:

He’s going for obvious reasons and it’s okay to be upset.

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They had one where I live and my husband would go there. I didn’t think anything by it. I even went there and got coffee. It was good. Maybe go with him to get coffee. He should have told you that is where he was wrong.

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Mmm yeah that’s not cool.

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Ummmm…he’s hiding it from you because he knows you’ll be dramatic and ridiculous over it. And here we are….

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I just went to Google :woman_facepalming:

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I would laugh and would ask his mates roud for beers and served them topless. Seems its a norm now lol

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Right right. Okay. Some ppl would be upset. Some won’t be. Depends on the situation I guess… I sure as fu€k would be. Mainly because I handle everything, from bills to the kids. Everything. And he’s out here looking at tits? Lmao he can go ahead and stay with those Tits cuz he’s not coming back to my house. Let me go find a coffee shop with naked men. Would he like that?

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I mean he sounds a little immature, like “haha boobies” but I doubt he does it to be malevolent. Still, if it upsets you and are uncomfortable with him going from this point foward, you should absolutely set that boundary with him.

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My gf doesn’t care if I go to a strip club or drink coffee from a topless woman. Though she is secure and as I am in our relationship. Allow the stupid things and we practically never care to go. :woman_shrugging:t3: I have no desire anymore. But I have the freedom to go if I choose.

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Yep your over reacting it’s just coffee with a girl that’s got something covering her chest she not naked for god sake, he not cheating he getting coffee for god sake it’s obviously just a place that just does it a little different, am sure many woman go there as well not just men, I would find it funny to be honest and prob go for coffee myself there to see what it’s like, just buy him the coffee gift card for his bday least you know he will like it

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I need shop name maybe then my hubby wouldn’t mind bringing me coffee on his way home bahah but seriously I feel like it’s no biggie it’s a coffee house and maybe he didn’t say anything because he knew exactly how explosive you would get over it I would have got him the gift card and said I see why you like this coffee house so much but next time can you invite me lol from a married lady of q0 years and 4 kids later hunny the girls do not want your hubby they want his tips that’s how they are paying their bills now if he was sneaking off to a strip club everyday then we may need to have a conversation I say it’s no biggie but to some it is

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I’d tell him he can go live with one of them now since he’s homeless. :joy:

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I think you are over reacting. I would have still got him the gift card tbh.

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I think I’d be hurt, too. Your feelings are valid. But don’t be upset with him unless he goes back after you expressing how you feel. I don’t think he meant to hide it. Clearly, he left all the cups in the car knowing you’d eventually find them. Also, I’m sure the hearts are just part of the gimmic. If you’ve ever been to Hooters, they are the same way. It’s all for tips.

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From my understanding looking them up they are a bikini barista (not topless). They have good reviews for their coffee :rofl:

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I had to look this up. Seems weird, but I think they do shirtless men too lol.

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If this is clearly not okay in YOUR relationship then it’s not okay. Simple as that. Every relationship has personal set boundaries. Were they discussed? Don’t listen to these women… trying to make you feel like you’re the crazy one. We’re suppose to build each other up… not tear each down.

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After looking them up they are a Bikini Espresso Bar so they do have tops on…m

Just here waiting to see if anyone actually looked it up :joy:

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Starbucks puts hearts on cups, and I don’t know the people.

They are popular in WA state. And they are not always top less.
These places have better coffee than a lot of the mainstream coffee.
All you can do is talk to your husband and express how you feel in an appropriate manner.
And not come to social media, where you will now second even triple guess your relationship and marriage.

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Your feelings are valid… but… it sounds like you’re not a fan of his need to go to that type of coffee shop…I would probably be annoyed too… but gotta move past it… or set a compromise… letting him know that it’s kinda creeper behavior :rofl:

I would be pissed personally especially if he continues going knowing you don’t like it, it disrespectful.

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If he’s gotta pay for another woman’s attention then he doesn’t want yours. Leave.

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If he hid it from me I’d be pretty annoyed. Relationships are about honesty.

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You are not over reacting if it makes you uncomfortable. Every relationship is different. Some are okay with it, some aren’t. It’s really up to you whether you think it’s okay or not.

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It depends on the stipulations of your relationship. Like do y’all allow each other to watch porn or go to strip clubs? In my relationships this would be cheating. Looking at other naked women especially in person is not ok for me.

He didn’t tell you but he wasn’t hiding it. And big assumption of a heart meaning he likes and jokes with the girls.

Would you go to a place that had hot half naked males for coffee?

He isn’t having sex, messaging them outside of being there for coffee, right?

I for one would absolutely get coffee from this place if the coffee is good. I don’t care if her boobs are out. Is the place clean and is the coffee good. But that’s me. And if my spouse went there I would just ask for some coffee lol.

Nope! As I see it you could make him coffee topless,what I’d do lol

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Surprise him at work with topless coffee!

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I learned when I stopped tripping about every little thing and only about things that really mattered it helped a lot. I’m not saying you’re wrong for being upset but it could be worse boo. He could be legit hooking up with these girls and have panties. Some harmless flirting and looking…… Idk if that’s the end of the world. You gotta pick your battles honey

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If you are uncomfortable with it and you are in a relationship with him, then you have every right to not be okay with it. None of us can speak for your personal boundaries. I highly doubt he’s just going for the coffee and to me, it’s probably harmless and childish, but the coffee place is like that for a reason. I would just be more annoyed that he’s going their multiple times a freaking day and spending that much money for some boobs. Like I said, though, its your relationship and the only people’s who voices matter is yours and his. If it bothers you, it bothers you and set a boundary going forth. :woman_shrugging:

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So you are mad about him being a typical male? Lmao at least he isn’t at the strip club getting a lap dance. The hearts do not mean anything either lol. They probably do that and flirt to get repeating customers. Get over it… besides who doesn’t like to see titties??

I’d be more mad about him keeping it from me than him going there

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I’d leave his ass. My ex husband would do something like that telling me I’m overreacting. I eventually left him because he was cheating on me and doing hard drugs, even had affair with my former manager… when you see something simple or harmless like that, there’s something really going on. To lust another women even with your eyes will lead to cheating.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. You have every right to be upset. He is married. He does not need to be at any place like that especially if you don’t want him to. He sounds like he is obsessed with going also. There is unfortunately worse things he is probably doing. Don’t put up with it.

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Nah he’s disrespectful

Single yes. . Married not okay

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Would he mind if the roles were reversed?

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I’d be upset because it sounds like he was hiding it. If he was hiding it then he knew it’d upset you. I don’t get lying over something like that and purposely doing something that he knows will upset you.

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I would not be happy neither I would make him stop going are take me with him every time so I could watch him and them

what a way to start the day!!! too bad it’s so far away!!!

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Lmaooo why don’t we have a topless coffee place?! I missed my calling dammit :sob::rofl:

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There’s a coffee shop by me where they wear skimpy bikinis and pull the bottoms up their ass so their ass hangs out. Alot of men go there to see some ass and lots of cleavage. My man included it doesn’t bother me. He’s just looking. I’d rather him go get coffee from half naked women then go to the strip club. :rofl:

Well nowhere did she say he hid this from her and none of the women or men working there want your man,they want his money. Unless he’s hitting on or being inappropriate I don’t see the problem.

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It is absolutely okay to set boundaries against these things.

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If it was no big deal why didn’t he tell you, that’s the main issue if you have nothing to hide hide nothing.

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Every relationship is different what might be OK for some,isn’t for others

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Ummmm I looked at their Instagram and that’s a big HELL NO from me too. Totally inappropriate, especially if you let him know that you’re uncomfortable with it.

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I’d be passed he didn’t bring me coffee!

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If it doesn’t work for you- it doesn’t work for you.

It wouldn’t work for me. I have no fears of him cheating or him having male…tendencies. It’s about respect.

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I would be disgusted and pissed

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So first and foremost, to everyone saying she’s over reacting, those are her feelings and her feelings are valid. It doesn’t matter if 1,000 internet strangers tell you that they wouldn’t care, what matters is you do. You are allowed to feel how you feel. You’re hurt and upset and I think that if it hurts you, and he respects you, he will stop going there.

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You are totally over reacting. Why does it bother you? Are you finding numbers? Is he cheating? Is he not allowed to look at other women? You mentioned you are at home with kids, that’s awesome that your husband is able to provide that lifestyle. I know lots of moms who have to put kids in daycare and miss out on many milestones. Do something that makes you feel good daily and let him be😊

Mom of a bikini barista :bikini::coffee::clap:t4:

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Multiple times a day? Lol I’d file a divorce

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I would let him go or start serving him coffee topless n see how he reacts to you

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Everyone has different expectations in a relationship and everyone’s definition of cheating varies. Personally, I wouldn’t give two shits if my wife was getting coffee there. Hell, she goes to strip clubs. Doesn’t bother me any, it’s just not my cup of tea so I don’t join her. Personally, I think it’s natural for people to find other people attractive, humans are not truly monogamous. Sure other girls are pretty, but they aren’t gonna love me like my wife does, hold me like she does etc.
Yelling and freaking out may have not been the way to go, but I’m sure your emotions were high. It’s best to calmly talk to him, say you feel disrespected and this kind of stuff is crossing a line for you.

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They’re nice to get more tips. Hearts, smileys… it’s a tactical ploy. Boobs? better tips? Lol

I’d be highly annoyed, especially since you were being thoughtful. I know it doesn’t help, but these girls probably wouldn’t even give him the real time of day.

No I’d be upset about it to. If he can’t respect u he gotta go

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I wouldn’t care. He can look all he wants. At the end of the day he’s coming home to me. I’m not insecure in any way.

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Nopeeee start working there and see if he likes people seeing your pasteys. Then when he gets mad guys are loving your tits. Simply tell him “you’re just overreacting” all jokes aside. He’s trash. My partner would at least tell me he’s going OUT OF RESPECT. Clearly he has no respect for you

Ask how he’s feel if you went to a pecker bar and had some dudes junk all in your face while serving you your cup of coffee multiple times a day…. Bet he won’t like that response

Id probably be mad too, but thats because I am over dramatic and insecure…

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You are overreacting. Let it go. It’s not a big deal. It’s coffee and boobies. It’s not like he’s having long intimate talk with them!

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I’d be upset he didn’t invite me I like titties and coffee.Also he’s still getting coffee so whats the problem.Hes paying all the bills while your home with the kids he can do what he wants with his time and money.Stop being insecure! Now if he’s sleeping with them then it’s a problem if not then get over it.

Nope, it’s no different than a topless bar…
It takes time & money away from the household and children & it’s being lied about… Because he knows he’s wrong.

Would it be acceptable for you to go get a cup of Joe from Joe in a Speedo?? & Flirt with him & give money to him? & Hide it from your husband?

Guess you could always find out :wink:

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i mean i guess it depends. if your uncomfortable, you could talk to him about it. not just call him and bitch at him. its a coffee shop. and looking at their website- their coffees look pretty good! and im NOT a coffee drinker. however- if your really uncomfortable with him going to THAT specific coffee shop than sit down and talk to him instead of yelling at him. I would tell you your over reacting to if you cleaned out my car, than called and yelled at me without allowing an explanation. Me preferably- i have my favorite places to get drinks, and food from. maybe he does too! maybe sometime offer to go WITH him to get coffee and check it out for yourself.

Tell him your job application was successful & you’ll be serving there next week :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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Do you two have a daughter? If so, ask him if he would be comfortable with her working there someday. He might view these women as a distant fantasy; once you make it real, sometimes they get a clue.

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I’d be pissed he’s spending money to see boobs when he can see them for free at home. But truthfully I’d be even more hurt that he thinks ur over reacting. Your feelings are valid.

Yea… funny how the women are always “overreacting” :upside_down_face: how sweet of you to take care of his car, and want to surprise him with something he likes!! So sorry it’s other women. :confused: … you’re not overreacting… he’s underreacting his boundaries and respect for you. :broken_heart: Men in particular need to be more aware of how they look at or present themselves to other women, when they have one at home who very much does their best to please him. :roll_eyes: … i hate this world. :upside_down_face:

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Ask if u can go to the male strip club, then it’s fair :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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That’s disgusting, opening the door to something like this can lead to more serious things. I definitely would not allow my husband to participate in funding a business like that

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My first thought Is …this is a troll post. If its not the only thing I would be upset about is “multiple times a day” thats a lot of coffee.

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I would be upset, but only because he wasn’t taking me with him or telling me where it was so I could get coffee as well.

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I literally ask my other half to get me coffee from a top less shop all the time :woman_shrugging: the shop isn’t the issue. Your feelings are valid absolutely and if this isn’t something you’re ok with then set a boundary and stick too it!!! I personally think that there may be bigger issues here. Whether within yourself or your relationship. Figure out why it botheres you and set boundaries if needed.

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Yes. You’re overreacting. Stop being so insecure. You can communicate why you feel the way you do and what makes you offended. Understand his point of view and why he thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. And maybe instead of yelling. Serve him topless every now and then. Are you so caught up in mini mode you forgot to be a desirable female?

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Like hooters with less clothes and caffeine. It sounds like a drive through though. Maybe start making him coffee at home and showing the nips? Lol you have every right to your feelings as does he. Its a matter of working together and deciding what is best for you.

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This is a joke right? :rofl:

I will have a problem with that

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It’s a drive thru… he’s not sitting there having coffee with them

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I would say work on your insecurities because they are definitely showing up. Yes it’s boobs a boob is a boob if he was going to be unfaithful he wouldn’t leave sex receipts for you to find. If you say you don’t like it and he is disregarding your feelings that’s another issue that you might want to address.

Would he be mad if you went to a Pantless coffee bar

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Over reacting. It’s no different then hooters. It’s not a sex joint. It’s a topless coffee house. Maybe they need one for the ladies with half naked men.
It’s like getting mad at a man for watching porno but you turning on fifty shades of grey. Go there and apply for a job.

This wouldn’t bother me but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t bother you. I’d be mad he didn’t tell me about it, so I could get a laugh or check it out. All relationships are not the same and that’s ok…

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Yes you are over reacting, it’s a legit business.

Yah not cool. :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I would not be happy

I read this to my hubby. He doesn’t think you are over reacting because he didn’t tell you about it. Smh some men have no respect for their wives. Hugs.

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I would be pissed that he kept it from me more than anything. If you keep it a secret you know it’s wrong in some way. Get a job there and see how much he likes that.

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No you’re not overreacting …. These women saying that are clueless! This is not ok. He’s not single that’s just as bad as sneaking to titty bars. It’s your relationship… if you’re not ok with it then stand your ground. If he’s sneaking and doing this it will lead to more. Especially if it’s an every day thing.

He kept it a secret?!?
That’s worrisome!
My husband would have been like, Baby, you ain’t gonna believe this damn coffee shop!! Lol.

Yes !!! Overreacting!!!
You are showing how insecure you are

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It’s just a coffee place. Who cares if he sees some boob while getting coffee in a drive- thru? You’re overreacting.

Go with him together go get coffee!

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Who doesn’t like boobs? It’s just boobs! If there is no cheating proof I wouldn’t worry about it! It’s ok to look and not touch :woman_shrugging:t4: