I have been there. It may not seem like it now, but I promise you it will get easier as time passes until one day you will be happy you are no longer with him. Keep your faith in God. Lean on Him. Pray for peace in your heart. Stay busy. Do things for yourself and for your daughter. You will get through this.
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Remember your not responsible for others actions!! Pick your chin up, and keep going for your child!!
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I have no advice, but your husband cheating is about HIM, not you. It was never you. He felt inadequate despite you loving him, he looked outside your relationship instead of talking about it.
You did everything humanly possible and he still chose to do what he did. You did the right thing, and remember the footsteps story. The times you feel most alone, is when God is carrying you through the tough times.
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Try going to therapy. You aren’t responsible for his actions and his decisions. Focus on bettering your life and your kids life. Get the divorce finalized. Exercise, experience things you’ve put on hold for your marriage. Do things that make you happy. Find yourself.
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Honey, this isn’t a you problem. This is a him problem. There isn’t a thing you can do if this is what he chooses to continue to do. There is no 1 person marriage thatll ever work. It takes two. If he’s not in it, you can’t be either. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. You deserve better. It’ll be hard, but you’re stonger than you think, and you’ll be stronger on the other side of it. Use this time to grow and learn. Feel the feelings. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to not know what to do. It’s OK to be numb. There are stages. Take it one day at a time. Eventually, you’ll see you start thinking about it less and less and you’ll move on. And it won’t consume you anymore. What you need is time. Give yourself that time and be gracious to yourself. You don’t need to have it all together all the time, nor do you need to have it all figured out. 
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God is listening to you. And he’s pruning you so that you can grow and find yourself. He’s setting you free. 5 years from now you’ll see the truth in this. And you’re right. You deserve better than this. I had to walk away after 15 years due to adultery and abuse. Had no idea what I would do. And God has really given me a life now…
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Hugs!!! And great job on taking that step of leaving your relationship! Not everyone does that! Time will heal prayers sent to you 
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Sounds like your husband has a sex addiction. He needs help and so do you. Find a support group for you to understand how you can move on and cope with you loss of your live as you knew it. And know it is not your fault. Good luck😇
I’m so sorry.
praying for you sweet momma!
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Therapy asap. Create a routine to give you your life back. As silly as it sounds, this two shall
Pass. You have two lives that need you and deserve you more than he ever did.
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But don’t rush into another relationship. Give yourself time to heal properly. Just be there for your baby. It will take time to heal and it’s okay to hurt. Believe me it does get easier
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Counseling is not a bad thing. It’s not a dirty word. And its okay. I went through a lot of Counseling when I got my divorce. We were together 20 years and married 17 years and had 3 wonderful boys together. I took up hobbies. I started Kayaking. I searched internet for local Kayaking groups and started joining them. It helped. I started taking my dog and disappearing in the woods for hours on end. Just me and my dog. I started taking classes at Great Oaks. I had to really work at it and try!!! Letting go was the hardest thing I ever did!!! But I did it! Best wishes. Sending positive vibes your way and prayers.
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Listen lady…1: men don’t cheat on you, they cheat on themselves, his cheating has nothing to do with you, and does nothing to damage your reputation, only his
2: you are obviously financially stable enough to get out on your own give yourself credit for that,it is an accomplishment.
3: your obviously smart, you have sense enough to get out!!! You’ll be fine!!!
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20yrs together (13)married. He woke up 1 day and decided he didn’t want to be married anymore (at least not to me). I was Completely blindsided and blown out of the water devastated doesn’t even being to describe where I was mentally or emotionally at that moment in my life . My children are what saved me I focused everything into putting the pieces of their lives and hearts back together, my children were devastated and hurt and confused just like I was and I had to reach down deep inside me and pull myself up by the boot straps and start working on living and healing and piecing back together their live our lives to something that resembled normal. I cried A LOT late at night after the day was over for months and months and months, BUT everyday I got up and I put on my game face and pursued the day with as much positivity and smiles and Convo etc etc as I could muster for my kids. I needed them more then they knew just to keep me motivated enough to push myself out of bed everyday and continue moving forward. I’m sorry u have to experience this kind of pain I hope you finding peace and healing sooner rather then later. Chin up and remember to love and be kind to yourself and focus on healing for you and your child
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Get tested for sexually transmitted diseases asap
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You are better and so is your daughter you can’t let her see you being disrespected hard as it may seem your doing the right thing good luck and God bless
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I did it for 23 years I was stupid I got divorce had broken heart but met a new fellow we was together for 30yrs until he got sick and past we enjoy each other never look back cheater will always cheat
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Been there. All you can do it take one day at a time. For a while, those days will be shit days. Find something to laugh about every day; laughter produces endorphins, the feel-good hormone. After several crap days, you WILL be rewarded with a good day. The next day will probably be crap again, but build on that one good day. More good days will follow-you just have to weather the bad. Enjoy every good day to it’s fullest. Do enjoyable things with your daughter. Do fun things with your friends. Those good times are your foundation for a happier life. It takes time, but the good days will eventually outweigh the bad. You DO deserve better than this, and that old saying, “Living well is the best revenge” is very true. I know your heart is broken, and I hope that you have some good friends to help you through this. You CAN get through this. You CAN make a new life for yourself and your daughter. Lean on your friends and family, and accept every bit of support they offer. Vent like hell to people who will listen–you need to get it out of your system. Find things that make you laugh or smile. Find humor in every situation, including this one. The only way to get over this is to go through it. And it’s hard as hell. But you have to do it for your daughter. I wish you luck and send you love and prayers. You got this.
I don’t know you but am so saddened by your post. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I pray for your strength and resilience.
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First off HUGS! Second if u know u deserve better than you deserve better! Most definitely your daughter deserves more! Seeing her momma happy is more than you know!!
Big Hugs. A cheater will always blame the other person cause they have convinced themselves of that. Good for you for filing for divorce and moving forward. It’s a painful process and I promise you, it will get better. Allow yourself to start healing. Maybe joining a group for divorcees . You will find others going through the same thing and maybe help each other . Praying for you and your babygirl
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I hate posts like these cuz no one deserves this. It really does suck no one should go through any of that. Easier said than done but forget him, you go to therapy for you to figure out your feelings cuz I know you have them all. And get a lawyer. You might not think you need one and he’ll seem cooperative but I’ve seen it happen too many times that they turn against their word and people get screwed. Right now, best thing is harden your heart, only worry about you and your kid and ignore him. Do what you need to for you. He decided to be selfish and now it’s your turn. Good luck and hugs to you.
Leave ! Multiple 
means he don’t give a crap about your marriage and you !
Sending hugs your way hun . I am so sorry your having to go through this.
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Hugs from a far. You got this. Focus on loving yourself, bettering yourself, self-care, creating a plan, and lots of quality time with friends and family. Follow Stephan Speaks
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You and your daughter deserve WAY better then that!
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Good for you,. Go live your life, he does not deserve you
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Hugs hugs and more hugs 
be strong for your little girl and don’t look back
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You do deserve better just focus on your daughter only make her your motivation to keep going and you will get through it. It will take time but in the end you and your daughter will be happier and better off.
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Should wait for that 10 year mark almost there and have his child
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YOUR world has not crumbled!! HIS world with you has crumbled! His loss!! Your world awaits your fabulous return!! Chin Up!! Shoulders Back!! Walk proudly and boldly forward!! Show your daughter what a strong woman looks like!!
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You’re doing everything right. Now it’s all about YOU and your DAUGHTER. My advice to you, get help for Depression before that gets any deeper in your soul. Please take care of yourself!
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As a woman whose husband slept around our whole marriage, I totally relate to your feelings of pain and or anger. You are not the looser, this is not your fault, he is lacking in something that keeps him faithful. You did nothing wrong, he cheated in relationships before yours and will continue to cheat in future ones. Just hold it together for your daughter and yes it does get better. My love and prayers are with you 
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God hears. He listens and He will reward your obedience. 12 years ago I was in your shoes. I had an actual list of things that I would pray over my husband every day. When I didnt think any of those prayers were being answered, I got angry with God. My marriage continued to crumble and I finally left because the situation was not what I wanted my girls to think was acceptable for their own lives. 11 years later, God answered my prayers with a Godly man that loves me and my babies more than I could imagine. He is every single thing that I prayed for all those years ago! Hang in there! This too shall pass and you will learn so much from it. Having someone to talk to and pray with is crucial. That makes a huge difference.
How you get thru it…you establish a new routine for you and your baby and take the time to heal…therapy is so helpful. You make a new life. Some days are so hard and other days are easier. One day you will find yourself being able to breathe again. It takes time but it will happen.
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For goodness sake leave him or tell him to leave. Start anew for you & your daughter. You deserve to be happy
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Once a cheater always a cheater, I am guessing he always did. HE is the one with issues NOT YOU. This is not down to you. Keep going the way you are moving forward. 1 day at a time, your daughter will pull you through. As for another relationship down the track it will happen and I know you will be on the full alert for red flag signs, keep alert so you don’t go down this road again. In saying that NOT all men are cheaters and there is one out there waiting to meet you who will love only you and treasure you for you. A good sign of a good man he listens, pays attention, loves animals and plays with kids thats a good start.
Oh doll… God’s listening. He knows your heart and he knows his. Although it’s hard to believe now, trust and believe he has someone better suited for you and is making room for him. Alot of the time we focus on the bad, the pain… and I know it’s hard, but you usually find something really great when you get through it. You have to make room for something better. Praying for you! God is going to bless you with someone who appreciates all you are and loves you in all your ways. Keep looking and up and pushing forward.
Good for him, I’m lucky to have intimate moments once a week with mine …
Mama, You need to go to therapy. This will help you deal with the pain. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Know that you will be okay and you deserve better.
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it’s time to find out who you are again. You’re grieving the loss of your marriage. He didn’t want to do the work to fix it but that doesn’t mean you can’t seek therapy so that you can be a better you for yourself and your daughter. I wish you peace and happiness you deserve it
When you go to sleep tonight go to sleep with a smile because noone is cheating on you or lying to you or making you believe you are not worth it Cause you are. The best is yet to come Now make him take care of his responsibilities and enjoy life in 6 months you’ll wonder what took u so long
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If you stay with him, you give him a free pass to do it again with no consequences. Speaking from experience. If he will own it and ask for forgiveness (sincerely) and seek marriage counseling from a reputable counselor, maybe give yourself a time limit to see changes. He ran this in the ditch…it’s up to HIM to right this wrong and do it until……
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Be sure to make sure your future ex is signed up with child support through the courts and don’t fall for the loving daddy routine. If he was so conniving to fool you for years, he could soon distance himself from her. If he doesn’t that’s cool and better for you both. You are enough. You have value. You will hurt, but in the long run you will be happier. Too close to all the crap right now. Congratulations you are moving up!!!
I will be right there…cast iron skillet in my hand!
Get you a good lawyer. Get the property. Kick him to the curb.He is not going to stop.
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God is always with you…stay strong in your faith… God bless you!
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Grieve your marriage go for custody of your daughter don’t allow him to have her till that is set through court other wise he could take her legally n not give her back then set a routine hun a simple one one easy to keep up with n allow yourself some me time
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Your daughter is your focus and the day you look back you will be so thrilled you taught your daughter what real strength is and means…One day atca time mamma😘
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You start with taking it minute by minute. Then it turns to hours days weeks months and years. It gets better. Put you and your daughter first don’t let him come back in and ruin progress. It hurts like hell but you get up every morning and look in the mirror and say I deserve the world and I’m going to get it even if I have to do it alone!!!
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If he’s working, this might be the time for you to have a little “breakdown”. Take some time off from work, see a therapist, take care of YOURSELF and your daughter, and find some new friends and hobbies. If he has enough money for affairs, he has enough to support you for a little while. If he’s going to be served soon, I’m assuming you have a lawyer. Talk to him/her about taking time off for your mental and physical health, and the emotional health of your daughter, and decide together how you should proceed.
A year or so from now, I promise that you wil. Be in a much better place. You may even realize that this painful discovery is really a blessing because you DO deserve better!
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Go to a good counselor. You’re right, you deserve better and you will get it.
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Time. Time heals all. Get into therapy. It took me 9 months to stop crying daily after a similar situation. 9 years later and my life is perfect.
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Hunni
You took the first step by reaching out to us
You can get through this
Your a strong and powerful woman and mother to your cub
I would suggest seeing a solicitor and seeing where you stand as to
Any property and assets that belong to both of you
And arangements for your child
Every day , just focus on that day
Once again
You got this Mama Bear
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It’s time to start with a therapist. You need to process the grief, the betrayal and pain, etc. so you can move into a healthy space for the future! The problem lies with his inadequacies, do not accept blame for him being unable to live and respect yalls relationship. You deserve SO much better!
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#1 It’s not YOUR fault !!!
This post is very sad , you need to think of your future and your daughter’s! It will be hard no doubt as it hurts now , you don’t want your child to see suffer she will grow up thinking it’s ok and it’s not. Call a therapist asap it’s only going to make you stronger💞
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Been their one step at a time 
I promise you THIS PAIN WILL PASS when a spouse has an affair it’s considered so painful in the Bible it’s like death 
that being said it will pass and one day you will look back and say I wish I would have seen and know how good things would have turned out for me & and your daughter-now 
god is good and loving and doesn’t doing anything to hurt use this was his free will in action but god will carry you threw this storm I promise if you keep your eyes on Jesus Christ and walk one step at a time you will be sooo much better 5 years ago I never thought my life was going to be ok let alone healthy amazing happy stable you name it and god worked miracles in mine and my family’s life I truly mean this it was north more then a flat out miracle!!! Fill you days when you sad with good music 
when your alone find comfort that you are not alone and patience is a beautiful thing because god has something so much more beautiful ahead for you 
your old life is over and your going to morn but you have a new one your going to start just imagine how much changes in just one day 
you will see so much change it’s a good change the book of job is a good read I highly suggest ATHEY CREEK on YouTube bret is the pastor has a new women night coming up but honestly held me together threw some serious storms I saw no way out of pray it will be ok god bless hung your baby and start your new journey with joy and excitement
Therapist
Medication for a little while helped me
Mourn the time wasted, grieve for the efforts you wasted. Then get up, pick your daughter up, love on her. Then repurpose your life around her. Live for the both of you, she needs you as much as you need her. Then breathe, slowly and get you together.
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No advice as I’ve never been in your shoes but sending hugs 
There is always a rainbow after the storm…God is giving you this test to see what you can an will do with your faith girl you just keep being the best momma & keep doing the right thing by your child … Don’t ever feel like it’s your fault because no one deserves to be cheated on you did nothing wrong…it’s his quilty conscience trying to make himself feel better for what he did …
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If you can, pm me. We will get through this together. I filed for divorce early this year because my husband left me the year before. When my father died, I took a 3 week leave of absence from work. That’s when I found out he had 4 different women at work.
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You did the right thing…you deserve better!
You deserve so much more! Get up and show up for YOU and your daughter every day. There is something big waiting on you! It doesn’t feel like it now but it is!
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It may seem like everything is crashing down on you momma but you will come out of this sooooo much stronger.
I have the upmost faith in you, we as mothers will do what it takes for our children, yes absolutely but you have to make you number one priority.
Seek therapy, they have so many options now for scheduling. Both you and your daughter will greatly benefit from this.
You deserve someone who is going to move mountains for you, and that’s you. You did one of the hardest things so far and that was sending the paperwork. Brighter times are ahead.
After every storm there’s a rainbow. At the end of the rainbow is the pot of gold. You are the pot of gold and you will shine brighter then ever before. You’ll meet someone that will treat you like gold. As it should be.
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Lean on your church pastor and family for somebody to talk to.
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You did nothing wrong! Please do not feel like you are the reason he cheated: it has to do with something within himself. You did what you could. He’s not willing to change. He will never change. If he cheated on you, he will cheat on them. Look at this as him giving you a second chance at a new life, a truly happy one! You got this! Do not let him break you down! Be strong and be fierce! 
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Just KEEP FUCKING GOING! (My mantra) You can do this. I know your hurt but soon enough you will realize your worth again.
I used to angry with ppl who always said, “it gets better” because you’re angry about everything. Any kind of thought brings you back to what you guys did together and it’s constant and then you’re angry all over again. Then he’s out living his best life like you and your daughter never mattered and you’re angry with anyone who even talks to him. But I will say. It does get better. It doesn’t go away over night. It’s reminding yourself you’re good enough. In my culture, they say little kids choose their mom’s and know they need them. It’s been 3 years for me and now when I look at him I don’t feel anything but annoyance but he’s a narcissist so not receiving a reaction from me is noticeable more and more.
It’s gonna happen, when his side girls are no more fun and he’s drunk and lonely, he’s gonna hit you with a, “I miss you, I miss our family” and I hope and pray you have the strength to just not respond.
But it does get better. Days get lighter, your daughter will help a lot as mine did for me. And one day, when he’s in another relationship and tries to shove your nose in it. All you feel is pity for that other lady because you know deep down, he’s going to do the same thing to her.
Mine got remarried this year and tried waving his hand around while trying to talk to us. My mom Asked if I was okay afterwards and I said, “I thought I was going to feel sad or feel like I wasn’t enough again but in all reality, I feel okay. He’s her problem now.”
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You just got your life back!!! Straighten that crown, walk tall and proud!!!
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You do deserve better.i notice you said you have been doing the work to save the marriage and he does nothing. Glad you are getting out and not wasting any more the the best years of your life
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Please don’t let him gaslight you. That’s exactly what he’s doing saying “the marriage has issues”. He could have done so much to help improve it, but yet he decided to destroy it.
I promise once you’ve started healing from this, you’ll realize how much better off you are and what you and your daughter deserve.
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I dont think its that God is not listening to you. Your husband is who messed everything up. But God will bring you through it, and your blessings will be greater than the pain you are feeling now
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So sorry but you say God is not listening maybe he is opening new doors for you so maybe just maybe he is listening
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Keep remembering that your daughter is the reason to keep on keeping on. And also get in the habit that each morning when you wake up you give yourself words of affirmation. And the same each night before bed. Each morning I told myself “actions speak louder than words” (because he was a narcassist) & each night I told myself “I’m not to blame for others mistakes” EVERY. DAY. In fact anytime I got down on myself I recited those things.
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I am a senior citizen and I can tell you all of these girls have given you top of the line advice listen to them sweetie
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You need to get into counselling.
God will bring people to you to help build you up. My lawyer was my first step. Rember your never alone. It takes time. Be alone and find out who you are… God only makes amazing people out of a broken situation. He isnt worth your being put down. He isnt worth your tears. He broke the vowels. No you. Stand up strong. You will be fine.
First of all, take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter. Take a few deep cleansing breaths. This is not easy to go through. By taking care of you, that means take care of you physically and emotionally. See your primary care doctor and a therapist. If you need a little help to be able to sleep at night get it as your mind in running a million miles a minute. Talking to a therapist or counselor will help to unload and talk to someone who is not emotionally attached to you or anyone you know and will be unbiased.
There’s online support groups. I’m really sorry he was so careless with your world and your child’s. You doing the right thing leaving. I was a 15 year old single mom and I know it’s a a struggle but you can do this. Might even suggest getting in to a therapist to help you through. Best of luck💞
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I didn’t read it all. No need. If your husband cheated, LEAVE. You deserve better.
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I’m so very sorry you’re going through this. I pray for peace, positivity, calm, understanding, acceptance, and a smooth transition for your child and you through this most difficult time. You’re not to blame for this most definitely, no matter how bad off the marriage was (as he’s claiming for an excuse) that gives him no right to step out and be unfaithful to you. We may not see it in the moment but everything happens for a reason. Def not now and maybe not for awhile yet but there is definitely brighter and better days ahead for you. Stay strong mama, seek therapy to help deal with these overwhelming emotions. Take care.
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You WILL get through all of this, and you have to affirm it, and believe you will, and manifest it. Take time to heal, and find yourself again (if needed) and stay positive. This was a storm you had to weather out and on the other side awaits you more from life! You got this!
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Your saying you feel like you deserve better than this, no girl you are better than this ! After every storm there is a beautiful rainbow! There is support groups , the problem lies within him not you. I was in your shoes 2 years ago with 4 kids. I left because I was worth more ! It took alot of years though to just go. I was hurt, took time in the shower and cried myself , one thing I had to continue to tell myself is “I am strong , I got this !” The best song that helped me threw everything was "praying " by Keshia. Also tinman. Music and of course my family helped me. It killed me at times to see my kids faces and see him but I did everything I had to for myself and them. Take deep breaths ! Your stronger than anything he has ever done to you… yes it hurts now and will but everyday it’ll get a bit easier to breathe !
Everything happens for a reason. I know it hurts but you are going to come out of this stronger, and happier, you deserve so much better and God knows that. He’s paving the way for you 
have faith big hugs
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My first husband cheated on me, even after we got married. I only married because I was pregnant, he left 3 months later. He got the same woman pregnant twice , while we still married. I got married again almost 13 years ago again, we have 3 kids together. You will find the right person when you aren’t even looking.
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Get a lawyer. Through your counsel, file for alimony and child support. Separate as much of those things you share. Get a bank account in your name. Counseling is a good idea to help you to understand his cheating (believe me it had nothing to do with you.) Please don’t think you can go out of your way to be civil or kind, for your daughter’s sake, he’ll view it as a weakness and try to take advantage of you - again. If he cared about his family he wouldn’t have cheated. Keep your head up and be strong, this won’t last forever and you will come out ahead in the long run. God didn’t forget about you, he put your daughter in your life to remind you about the truly important things in your life.
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Get rid of him!! He is a cheater and it will never change. He has a serious problem with commitment. I’m not as nice as you were. You cheat one time, your out!!!
One step forward, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time. God hears you, God sees you, God loves you. God didn’t do this, sin did this. Your husband chose this path. Make yourself get up each day and complete one task at a time, dive into Gods word, His truth. Pray hard, like on your knees prayer, for His will through this, not yours. Been through this. Get in the word, listen to His music, read scripture as much as possible.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
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You will get through it and the hurt will slowly ease but you do deserve better and so does your daughter
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Terrie Vanover follow her page
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You do deserve better than that. I’m glad you decided to leave. I was in a similar situation and I have no regrets about leaving. I wish I did sooner. You will come through on the other side stronger and happier.
Your world didn’t crumble She is right there beside you and counting on Mommy . Hang in there you did what us best for you he had no plans in changing and you deserve better … Love yourself and your precious daughter you will get through this I promise
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I am a qualified counsellor who went through similar experience many years ago. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk to someone or feel low. May Gods love comfort you. I know the pain and heartaches. Surround yourself with positive minded people and family that love you and take each day at a time. I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel and one day when this storm is over there are great things awaiting you and you will see the reasons behind all the pain. Much love from one mama to another. The pain sux.
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U do deserve much more go for it the new man is out there for u
My dad used to say “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
Getting divorced, finding your way, healing- it’s like that. One bite at a time. Make lists of tasks, then break them down. If you have a support network of friends and family, you need to talk to the trusted people in your life. Therapy is not a bad idea, either.
That rage goes away over time. I wish you peace and good fortune 
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I was in an abusive marriage and clueless being cheated on by him. It hurt so bad and I have a son by my ex. After I found a lot of truth what he did to my children. I was so damaged and brainwashed for 10 years of my life by him. I filed the divorce and got full custody of my children. But court granted restraining orders for me and my children for lifetime. Also, the house and everything is mine. I make the decision and he lost the parental rights permanently and have my 2 children’s brand new names to start fresh life for us.
He cheated on me thru 10 years of relationship and marriage I didn’t know. I don’t regret to be divorced but I promised you leave this marriage is hard and painful but worth it and you will have the best life coming for u and ur daughter.
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You’ll make it through, and you’ll be happier for it.
Get an attorney and take what’s yours.
You don’t have to be kind or civil for your daughters sake. Allow yourself to feel. And rage and have your emotions. Let your daughter know to NEVER settle for a man who is unfaithful.
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Always know its not you its him. Glad you decided to leave him
You move forward and realize you are worthy of finding a man who will love you and your daughter and make you happy. Wishing you the best
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Please keep in mind if not for the “confrontation” he would still be happily cheating on your oblivious innocence, first of all get tested, then immediately firewall you and your daughters life from him until all this gets settled in court, destroy him only if you have to but above all protect you and your daughter
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