Is anyone just curious how she found out that he was doing all this?
Anyways, something isn’t clicking in his head. I hate to say this, but when a person is cheating or being dishonest they tend to look at their significant partner like they are too. Complete violation of privacy married or not. The fact that he tried to lie to cover his own ass only shows the type of character he has. He doesn’t trust her. I would immediately have my phone and computer locked period. Give his ass something to really worry about. And just because woman do this to their men, doesn’t make it right whatsoever. People need to learn boundaries and have trust in each other. Tracking… that is just scary. Who knows how many places he’s followed her to etc. or asked her where she was and then checked the location just to see if she’s lying. Sorry but something isn’t adding up here. I would be furious with my husband if he did this.
I dont know why some of these people are saying it’s not a big deal if you have nothing to hide!? The husband has been going thru her phone and computer for years and didnt find nothing,also turning the GPS on her phone.Then lying about it.She would probably feel a little different if he didnt lie to her about doing it.That is not normal doesnt matter if she has anything to hide or not that’s personal,he hasnt found anything in years y keep doing it.He has some deep issues that need addressed by a professional
My partner can look through anything on my phone, I couldn’t care less, i really dont see the problem in someone looking yhrough my stuff when i share everytging with h i m anyway. Turning on tracking though is super controlling and definitely crossed a line
Insecure. Maybe marriage counseling… he will likely look for n find this too.
I don’t really think it’s a big deal to be honest. My husband is free to go through whatever he wants of mine if he wants to. I have nothing to hide
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Read his things he’s cheating on you & wants to see if your doing the same people who typically cheat have a guilty conscious & always put blame on the other person
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Sarah Diveley but If you got nothing to hide why does it matter? Just curious…atleast he admitted to it…
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You don’t leave the house without him or the kids? At all? Hun, none of this is healthy. Run. He’s a control freak and manipulating you, trying to spin things to be your fault. Get away while you can.
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For those saying it’s no big deal. Your husband/wife can go through your things… the difference is he did it behind her back. He was sneaky! It would be different if he asked. She doesn’t seem to have anything to hide so why be sneaky
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My man and I have open trust I can look at his phone and he can look at my phone. If you have nothing to hide I truly don’t see the issue
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Look. Being husband and wife doesn’t mean that u get to sneak around in their personal stuff. You still have to have respect and boundaries. THAT is healthy. Sneaking around ur partners phone email etc and putting a tracker on them is NOT. All the ppl saying it’s not a big deal might want to re-examine your own marriage
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My husband can go through my phone whenever he likes I really don’t care. I think you would have bigger trust issues if he cheated on you or something maybe he is trying to see what you watch or learn what you want for gifts or something you never really know why he does it. Is there trust issues he has with you that he hasn’t moved on from yet?
I don’t see the problem. I believe in open and honest, so died my husband.
If y’all don’t agree with each other about it, then that is the real problem.
Okay these people saying he needs SERIOUS counseling are wrong. Maybe a little bit of counseling. Unless he doesn’t let you go places by yourself especially like the gas station, errands, grocery store etc, than it isn’t a huge deal. Just talk to him about it. Maybe someone cheated on him in his past. Maybe he is insecure and needs reassurance. I understand being hurt because you feel like he doesnt trust you. But communicate with him. He’s your husband and you married him for life. He married you for life. Communicate, see a therapist, set some boundaries. Tell him why it hurts you. Of course the people on the internet can’t see the whole picture. If you feel like he is controlling, mentally/emotionally/physically abusive, manipulative, etc than talk to someone you trust about those issues and take steps from there. But really there are double standards on this page. Women are fine with women going through their partner’s phone and whatnot because they feel they have reason to. Guys shouldn’t be called crazy or mentally unstable because they’ve done the same. 
In my experience with having been with a narc, when he would go through my phone and through my computer, he broke the trust in our relationship. I had nothing to hide but I could not trust him after that as it made me feel violated in a way. What he was doing is going to see if I was talking to and cheating on him, when he was guilty of doing the cheating. then he lied to me about what he was doing-that he didn’t go through my phone and comp. He lied and lied and lied. It wasn’t what he did but that he lied. Two weeks later, he left his phone sitting on table and it rang when he was in the shower. I looked to see who was calling as I thought it could be one of his children calling but it was another person all together. I let him know his whore called and walked away. He even tried to lie about that as well. Through 20 years, he constantly lied and cheated. He stole from me and my children repeatedly. I could no longer trust him on any level. That is what hurts the most but now I am way better off without him around. It hasn’t been easy but I have been better each day.
He prolly has something to hid
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He’s cheating and looking for the same in you. I know. My ex did the exact same thing. Without trust, there is no relationship.
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My husband and I could go through each other’s phones, but that’s not the point. Trust. Honesty. Truth, …I really think counseling, if you love him. If not get out.
Normally when a man does that to his wife he is guilty of doing the things he accuses you of !
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I see nothing wrong with it. If you have nothing to hide, there shouldn’t be an issue. If you trust each other, what’s the big deal. My husband has my passwords to all accounts and I have all of his… I could careless if he looks at or reads any of mine.
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The only thing personal of mine when it comes my husband is my clothes and feminine products 
now if I come home to him wearing my clothes and makeup then I’d have a problem:rofl: the tracking part I wouldn’t like though on a serious note. Sounds insecure. Maybe counseling for him or like others said maybe he has something to hide.
My fiance uses to be like that. I wasn’t hiding anything of course but he is just so insecure due to previous relationships. I would wake up in thw morning and my FB messenger and texts would be pulled up and he woukd swear he didn’t do it but I always clear my phone screen before I go to bed so I know he did. He also would (and sometimes still does) go through texts and messages bwtween me and my oldest sons bio dad…like goes WAYYYYYYY back. He’s bot as bad here lately but it used to start A LOT of arguments between us because I have never done that to him.
I get everyone needs personal space but unless he isn’t letting you go through his stuff get over it 
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Does he allow you to search his? If he’s going to do that to you. You should have the same ability.
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If you had nothing to hide then why does it matter?
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That’s a pretty bad place to come back from. My ex wife did that too. I found out cos a friend called me over regarding an “emergency”. He toldd she had messaged him, I was like and? And he said she was replying to questions he asked me. I looked and she really was reading them, getting confused and responding to mine. Trust never came back.
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Who cares?! Sounds like you are definitely hiding something.
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It strips you from any privacy. That’s really not a good feeling I’m sure. I would lock my phone and change passwords. He’s lost your trust. Let him earn it back. It’s really a creepy and cold thing to do.
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My ex only searched all my stuff because he himself was guilty of messaging people and he wanted to out blame on me for ending things. I’m faithful so he couldn’t find anything. So watch out he’s not just deflecting his guilt on to you.
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All of you asking what the big deal is because your husband and yourself have each other’s passwords etc,… She’s not saying he had the ability to go through her stuff. She’s saying his going through it is maniacal. He’s obsessing, and no, sorry ladies… That’s not ok. My husband and I have each other’s passwords too but If he was obsessively going through my amstuff… I’d be worried. He needs to go talk to someone and if you want to work it out, you should go with him. Might learn something about why.
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I feel sorry for people who believe you have to forfeit all of your privacy just because you’re married. Do you guys also hold your guys hand while hes taking a dump? 
Theres a difference between being curious and being obsessive. When my ex husband did it, it was because he was doing something wrong, but was obsessed in trying to catch me doing something wrong too. He was extremely insecure and guilty.
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My ex used to do that and even late after I went to bed get into my pocketbook and billfold and go thru all of it. Trust me he is probably doing plenty of stuff that would not imagine. This is dangerous in the long run. You should not trust anything he does or says.
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Uh, leave him. This is not normal. Also, you don’t leave the house without him or the kids? That is not a fun life to live. You should be able to go places without your husband and him not be afraid of you cheating. He’s controlling and insecure. Leave. Him.
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And it will progress from here to…I’d kick his rear end out.
I don’t understand why you’d be so upset, willing to break your family apart, because your husband went through your shared items?
You’re not dating dude. You married. You became one. All your things became each other’s.
I feel like you really are hiding something and he just didn’t find it. That’s extremely suspicious behavior on your part honestly. “My husband went through my phone, I’m divorcing him.” Talk about childish?
I’d want to know why he’s so paranoid. Did you do something? Did he have someone like to him in the past? If you care about someone, you want to know he why’s so you can help them improve.
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Sounds like he had trust issues before you ever came along, didn’t deal with them or learn how to move past them, and is now stuck in a routine knowing damn good and well you have nothing to hide. Start locking your phone and computer so that he no longer has access. It’s basically like an addiction and it sounds like he needs therapy. Sit him down and have a real conversation about it. No yelling, no blaming, no anger. But I’d give him the ultimatum of getting therapy for this habit of his, or I’d tell him dueces if it doesn’t change.
Ask him why he’s cheating on you. Seriously.
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The fact he’s hidden it from you, turned your location on without you knowing, lied initially about it - that’s extremely wrong. Extremely.
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My husband doesn’t do that but I feel like I have nothing to hide so it doesn’t matter if he goes through it or not. I wanted to go through his I would but it’s no big deal with my opinion. I know relationships are different this day and time but have nothing to hide don’t fret
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Every couple need trust and some sense of privacy but as long as you are being honest you have nothing to worry about but I understand that would make you upset I’d feel like he was stalking me and that’s your husband. People who have these type of behaviors are often doing something themselves that give them an overwhelming sense of guilt so they decide to put their mind at ease by doing things like this. I too would be offended and upset and had a bf who did similar things when he was the one cheating maybe time to start snooping through his shit and see what reaction you get the fact that he is getting up late or doing things around his schedule to check this is not right that’s obsessive
He sounds very insecure. Maybe hurt very badly in the past. How about marriage counseling? You guys need to get to the root of the problem.
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The fuck… sounds like he was doin u dirty and keepin tabs on u in the mean time
This sounds like controlling behavior and can escalate and can become the foundation for abuse. Be careful
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Personally I have zero issue with what he did but how did it. I manage all of my husband’s emails, I can grab his phone at any point for any reason and we have a family location app on our phones. I manage the emails bc he asked me too bc I’m more organized, sometimes his phone is closer (he uses mine as well), he used to be a truck driver and that’s scary for us at home sometimes and we are both disabled now ( I have been for years). The thing is WE BOTH KNOW about all of it, we have very few secrets by choice and those are mostly regarding surprises for each other.
If you want to trust him again then give him a fair chance at understanding why what he did is upsetting you and a fair chance to reearn your trust. If you don’t want to or know you can’t then walk away. The only right answer here is yours.
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Turnabouts fair play see how he likes it…what’s he hiding? Usually over zealous people have dust in their closets…
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That’s jus wrong sounds like he has a trust issue. I would set boundaries cause honestly if u gave him no reason to do this then he shouldn’t be snooping. Every marriage should have that trust to where u dont have to worry and if he had a reason to feel like he needed to that’s one thing but ur saying he even said he jus did it to do it which not cool that invasion of privacy even in marriage u should be able to have ur own private conversations with people be able to talk vent or w.e without him invading that. I’d seek counseling if I were u cause obviously something going on
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Yeah when the trust is gone, it’s all downhill from there, find out why he is so obsessed with trying to catch you playing up, sounds like he himself has cheated so assumes so have you, I’d go to couples counseling, or him go to therapy, it’s not healthy, clearly he thinks you’re up to something, even tho clearly you’re not.
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You broke up just because your husband went through your phone? 
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I would ask him why all the deceit. If he has found someone else or would like to be with someone else then go. But don’t try to act as though I’m doing setting wrong. Also tell him he is not your parent and doesn’t need to use those tactics on you. He has a problem of some sort. God bless and good luck.
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When I was going through my separation and divorce a friend told me, the guilty ones yell the loudest. Meaning, someone is doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing. Maybe it’s him and he has that guilty conscience. 🤷
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I don’t have an issue with it. If you have nothing to hide you shouldn’t be breaking up your family
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Look. That is weird if you give him no reason to do such things. Like, even past trauma doesn’t explain it. My hubs has past trauma. He’s been in three relationships before me and each time ended with the lady cheating. By the time he met me he figured all women cheat. But by the time we hit the one year mark he knew I am no cheater. Even with all he has been through he trusts me completely. He doesn’t need to go through my phone. He has access to it if he wants it because I never do anything that he would be upset about. When we first got together he was scared of my phone and my purse. He wouldn’t even touch them. Now he is relaxed about it.
If your husband is going that far to see everything you do then he is above and beyond paranoid and it’s unhealthy.
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Yep he’s feeling guilty about something
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As him for a year of his phone records n text message.BET YOU ANY MONEY!YOU WONT GET THEM. He dont trust you because he himself is untrustworthy
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Sounds like he’s the one hiding something, and keeping tabs on your for a reason.
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The guilty yell the loudest
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He may be guilty of something himself.
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It really depends on his motivation…if he’s insecure …sounds like he’s done it for a long time with no escalation…if it’s a creepy control thing then a problem…I don’t know the man so not sure…
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If you dont have nothing to hide dont worry i leave my phone alk over the place i lose it to i dont care
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He’s insecure and has trust issues of his own that he’s projecting upon you. A few sessions with a couples therapist should do the trick. Good luck.
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Yep what a sneaky bastard that is so low so what does he have to hide well hell if your not together any more I would not give two shits but that’s me no telling what he doing look under your car for s location Device girl I would check everything good luck girl you may need it a snake in the grass for a husband you bite him before he bites you
He’s doing something wrong and feeling guilty and is trying to find something on you
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I have no problem with my spouse going through my phone. He won’t find anything wrong, or even slightly concerning. But in that same respect my spouse doesn’t have any problem with me going through is phone either. Neither of us has ever asked or gone through the others things but we could if we wanted to. But that’s the thing, you have to have mutual respect, mutual trust.
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I don’t think he is a cheater but from what it sounds like he has a control issue which probably stems from insecurities in his past.
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My opinion is if you don’t have anything to hide let him look. He may just be insecure and need validation, everyone is different. And it should at least make you feel like he cares, because if he didn’t care he wouldn’t look. 
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Sounds like he has trust issues… 
either you did something or someone fucked him over. It’s insecurities… Or hes guilty… Dont listen to me… I give shit advice. Ive been living with someone and found out I’m just a body to lay next to and a piece of ass… A year later. 
if you arent happy leave… Stop moaning on Facebook
Why would you break your family over this?
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I have an issue! Want to know what,s going on? Take time to have a conversation. If I can’t trust you, I don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t care if we are married, best friends whatever. Ask me, I will tell you who what when. But sneaky is fatal and we are done!
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This is a control, trust & abuse issue
Follow your gut… no matter what he says to you.
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Hes either doing something wrong/lied/cheated or has had people previous lie and make him distrust. Maybe try counseling for both of you individually and maybe as a couple as well, to help you figure out how/if you can move on in the relationship or need to get out. And for him to figure out the route of it. I’d ask to look at his stuff to see if he will let you.
Girl just be happy u got a dude that gives a shit. Continue to prove him wrong. When he stops checking, be worried. As a mother, u should know privacy went out the window a long time ago😂
On a real note, he could be hiding something and feels guilty. Or hes had shitty cheating exes in the past and this is his secret anxiety hes been keep from u. Talk about it. Get to the bottom of it. Dont jump to the whole privacy card just yet. Hear his side, pull it out of him. Discuss it and move on. As long as u got nothing to hide ur good. I’m naturally a nosey person lol…so ive went threw my bfs msgs all the way back before we got together just to be a nosey Nancy lol. Brush it off. U eat, sleep, have children, and sleep next to this man every night. There’s not much to be private about…u become 1 when u are married…if its a controlling argumentative issue then that’s another story. Hes prob just nosey.
Like you haven’t been through his? Come on now
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Start with an IT person to help you with your security on all your accounts change secret questions. Everything.
This is not normal for people who trust each other. He may have done something that he feels guilty about. Maybe an affair, maybe something else. He also may just not trust you. But regardless of the cause he doesn’t trust you and that is a problem and because of that you really only have a couple of options. He needs to figure out why he has trust issues so he can work through them and learn to trust you, or he needs to be honest why he was actually looking, especially considering he never found anything but continued to look, which would lead me to believe that he is the one with the guilty conscience. If he can’t be honest about what was really going on you really don’t have a relationship and you haven’t for quite sometime. If you don’t have trust you have nothing. At that point you can leave and start over, or stay and live a lie. I really hope you get some honest answers from him and you both are able to work through this. Good luck.
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It’s really not that big of a deal if theirs nothing to hide. Me and my fiance look at each others stuff openly…
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I don’t think it’s that uncommon for people to go through their spouse’s phones. As someone else said, I think it really depends on whether it was an insecurity thing or a control thing. I went through my ex’s phone because I was insecure in our relationship. The next morning I moved two states away with everything I had, but he had plenty going on up in there. I don’t think it’s worth breaking a family up over, but it’s your call not ours.
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I would go through his things.
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I have no issue with an s.o going through my phone. I got nothing to hide so what do i have to be worried about? They can wonder all they want cause i know I’m honest.
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If this bothers you so hard leave
I would have no issue with my spouse going through my things BUT the fact that he hid it and then tried to lie about it is what makes it bad. The tracker device would piss me off to no end. There has to be trust in a relationship in order for your marriage to be healthy. It sounds like he has major trust issues.
It doesn’t bother me at all when my husband goes through my stuff… but he has never been sneaky about it or lied. That right there is a red flag to me. The yet, is another red flag it sounds like he wants out and is looking for any reason.
My husband accused me of cheating ( I never did) but found out it was him. I would wonder about your husband at this point. Trust issue or is he guilty of doing something? My married friends have a joint account for the most part. Trust is a must!!
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I’m hung up on the facts you said that YOU DON’T leave the house alone…
And he’s now blaming you for this situation. You need to seriously take a step back and look at everything then decide whether you want to risk this toxic situation with him any longer because there are several signs that his behaviour is extremely UNHEALTHY & the potential to be dangerous & do you want to raise your children in that surrounding.
Me and my bf have no problem with each other going thru each other’s phones. It’s normal. I don’t see anything wrong with it. You’re acting crazy.
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My ex did that & I finally found out it’s bc he was hiding so much in his. Guilty conscience
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My stbx would wait until I fell asleep & slide my thumb onto the lock screen (lock to keep my kids put of my phone) he would hide all night & search my phone
Eh I mean if you’ve got nothing to hide then let him continue to waste his time. I wouldn’t care tbh
Married 43 years and have no problem if my wife goes through messages or whatever. I think she feels the same way, although we see no reason to check as our love is so strong, no doubt can ever shake it!!
If it made my husband more comfortable, i wouldn’t care if he went through my stuff. Its the lying part im not a fan of. I hate being lied to. That being said, this is something to be upset about but not get hung up on. Have a long and open conversation about lying and trust. This should be something you can get over after talking it through
Oh, HELL no! He sounds controlling and insecure. Whether you choose to stay with him or not, put a passcode on all of your electronics.
Yes trust is special may not be a big deal to some but i would not look at anyone else computer BECAUSE its none of my business lol
I really don’t think it’s worth getting pissed over unless there was something to hide if not then who cares